Friday, February 12, 2016

A New Valentine To Wine And Dine!

The cat is always helping you out. I don't want anyone to pout. So I have more prospects for all of you. They were there six months ago anyway to view.

Can't get right
Should an "it" be in sight?
Can u be the 1
Sorry, don't want my IQ to equal none.

I'm ur gaal baby
Nope, not even a maybe.
Let's give it a ripper
Umm errr, hands off the zipper?

May you always shine
Is this some church of the divine?
My 5 year old niece told me to do this
Take advice from children on bliss?

You me and three
Seems you can't count to me.
All flonder in this sea
Yep, and it's thee.

Red my prfile 1st
Can't, my head may burst.
Why can't I get a date.
Too whiny to mate?

Where are all the guys in?
Umm, care for a re-spin?
Are you my savior and lord?
Sorry, go hump a Ford.

Need you in my life.
Just what I need, a needy wife.
Cats got my tongue.
Looks like it also got your lung.

Must take care of yourself and not be fat.
Do as I say not as I do where you are at?
Carring is sharing.
Playing in traffic is daring.

Can we try again?
Did we try once at my den?
Grumpy young female.
That just makes all want to set sail.

Working on me and my tears.
Water eyes bring fears.
You've never been around these parts.
And somehow I think I'd rather take cat farts.

There you are at your sea. A good bunch for you to have a date spree. Just in time for Valentine's day. Don't say I never did anything for you, okay? Enjoy getting a crazy, nut job of a lass when this dumb day comes to pass and, yeah, I'll give the day sass. I won't let you down with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

Can't Sleep At Your Keep?

Can you sleep like a cat and nap wherever you are at? Is that a no? Geez, maybe you need to eat a crow? Yeah, that would not work. But you are screwed up by a certain perk.

Can't sleep,
Not light or deep.
Poor you,
At your zoo.

Blame me.
Blame each sea.
Blame your reading.
Am I misleading?

Nope, it's your screen.
It is just mean.
It won't let you sleep.
The screen is a creep.

Those energy saving light bulbs too.
Maybe the TV you view.
Even a table lamp,
One with a stupid light bulb cramp.

Why is that?
Follow the cat.
It is because of blue light.
It shines through the night.

It makes your body think it is day.
So you get energy at your bay.
Energy and sleep don't mix.
Yep, can even get it from watching flicks.

Blue light can also increase stuff.
Like cancer, diabetes and make depression rough.
All because you use your computer at night.
Phones, tablets, etc. also have it take flight.

So you are screwed.
Unless you find the computer rude.
Then you are fine.
Sleep will align.

Blue light is a pain.
Can screw with any sleep train.
The cat just wanted you to know.
And yep, 100% scientific fact on the go.

f.lux is an app,
That can cut the trap.
I just started giving it a go,
Can't hurt at my show.

Ever hear of blue light and it screwing with you at night? Just another thing "advancements" have done. Aren't our bodies fun? Can get glasses that block it too. So I'm told at my zoo. So if you can't sleep and don't know why, you may have just been told why by this rhyming guy. At least blue light won't give you gas, I have enough of that in my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Save Time In Your Prime!

The cat has been down the whole time saving road. We don't want to go into repeat mode. But the cat has found a new way. It could save you so much time each day. You will be more than whelmed when I am through. Yep, it is true.

Need time?
Such a crime.
Can make it.
But who needs that shit?

Rather whine.
Rather dine.
Rather whine more.
A whine encore.

But that isn't it.
Forget that shit.
There is a better way.
Move your litter tray.

Yep, pack up and move away.
To where you say?
To movie land.
Life would be grand.

Teeth are always white.
No brushing in sight.
Hair is always done.
Even when you wake up to the sun.

Can spend all you want.
No bank account will taunt.
Get everything you need.
Well won't run dry at your feed.

Always have a ton.
Never need a food run.
Can leave food out and take one sip.
You'll still never need a grocery trip.

Never even have to change clothes.
Screw those type of woes.
They stay nice and clean.
Isn't that just serene?

Who needs to date?
Pffft and mate.
Then all will be right.
Love will instantly take flight.

Can quit your job and live.
Everyone will forgive.
You'll still somehow get money.
All will be sunny.

There you are. Now whether you are near or far, you can save time every single day. You can do whatever the hell you want and get pay. Just move to movie land. Everything is scripted and life is grand. Moving there today? Be sure and take the litter tray. Now I have helped every working class. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.