Saturday, January 19, 2019

We're On A Roll With This Stroll!

We were comfortable as can be when Pat left our sea. He asked if we wanted to go. Of course we said, "Hell No!" Who wants to go where it's cold. On a comfy warm spot we'll stay sold.

It is my it ain't happening face.
Going out we do not embrace.
I'll stay here and rest.
It is for the best.

Nope, not going to work.
A snowy giant litter box isn't a perk.
We won't be able to bury it.
Then humans will whine when they step in our shit.

A tree across the road.
Yeah, now that is a load.
That makes us want to go.
Right! We don't want to see the giant that gave it the heave ho.

A swamp or trees?
It comes with a breeze?
No thank you.
Rather cook a dog stew.

Trying to make me run.
I'll laser eye each bun.
Even letting this guy in won't work.
Outside is not a perk.

What is that?
Sure not a cat.
Is one a lass?
Damn, it's a double ass.

There it is in view.
This time one, not two.
Pat isn't as grand at shots though.
We'll leave that to Snow.

Bah, another tree.
Giants so aren't for me.
What? The wind did it?
Bah, the wind can't hit.

Still not going.
Especially after that showing.
But now I'll chase the furball away.
Go and enjoy your day.

This is my I told you so face.
Outdoors is not fun to embrace.
You look kinda cold too.
Sorry, bed is still mine and not for you.

Do you like the outdoors? We would rather do chores. Not that we cats have any of those. Do you like my I told you so pose? Ever get trapped behind a fallen tree? That sure wouldn't be fun to come to be. Especially if it is on TV. Then it is obviously a trap to capture thee. Now I'll go back to my resting pass. That outdoors stuff is far too outdoorsy for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Friday, January 18, 2019

The Poor Does Pour With This Tour!

The cat hears it all the time. You have even dropped a dime. Or maybe a nickel. Are those things still around and fickle? We saw it in a yard the other day. Maybe they wanted to have visitors pay? Anyway, on with the task before wtf is he going on about you ask. Too late? Such is my fate.

The rich and the poor.
Opposite forevermore.
No matter the scenario.
House them in Ontario.

Those poor rich.
Damn, there's a glitch.
Rich and poor?
A line divided no more?

You poor cat.
Confused where you are at.
But I don't need money.
You humans are funny.

Poor, poor mankind.
Aliens probe your behind.
Hey, we get it from the vet.
Maybe they think needs must be met.

But the rich got probed.
They got nailed and globed.
Yep, that's a word.
Poor you, not absurd.

But you have dough?
Damned if I know.
You just need to be poor.
That is what is in store.

A poor pitiful me.
Those annoy we.
They are so poor.
Whoops, I locked the door.

Poor, poor pitiful mes.
Can't pay their fees.
Can't come here to whine.
Can't hurt the poor ears of the feline.

So now my ears need money?
Is the money funny?
Does it have earwax?
Do I have to pay tax?

Your poor head.
Damn, had to be said.
Now you're poor all over.
Could go bum from poor rover.

Do you use that? Did you ever say poor cat? Do cats somehow need money? Aren't we in charge while the humans let their bank accounts get all runny? I thought so. So no poor will show. Poor, poor you for not knowing that. Hmm did we just get flagged for not being PC to the poor where we are at? Poor, poor us. Damn, this poor thing makes me cuss. Is your comment going to be a poor pass? Don't worry, you'll get no sass, probably, from my not so poor little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Thursday, January 17, 2019

Wouldn't Want To As A Home Comes Due!

The cat was out the other day, more like Pat was at our bay, and saw a place that was rather scary. It probably would rot a ripe berry. It was way way back in no rat land. But one thought it grand.

Here we are.
Door not ajar.
Door stays shut.
Could be a nut.

Murder shack a plenty.
This makes twenty.
Oh, a cellar door.
Go down there and be lost forevermore.

Smell the sea air.
Sorry, can't at our lair.
The window's down a crack.
Hmm look to frail to attack.

Get out and do.
Then they trap you.
Try to turn and run.
At least there's no gun.

At least not yet.
Loaded in the house a safe bet.
Don't piss off the crazy.
Life may get hazy.

Isn't life grand?
No, I won't shake your germy hand.
But sure, it is grand.
I don't want to know what's buried in that sand.

I wouldn't want to live anywhere else.
Not even if you could study celss.
Yeah, I looked that up.
Aliens fixed that hiccup.

Nope. This place is the best.
It beats all the rest.
Never have I or would I want to go anywhere.
This is my murder shack lair.

How would you know?
Never you did go.
So you just nod and agree?
Does sheep live with thee?

I live alone.
Not even a phone.
It's just the best.
Like a bird in a nest.

Do you never want to live anywhere else at your sea? How do you know if you never left or experienced anything else in the life of thee? Maybe having no desire to live anywhere else is a better way. But never? Does that really come into play? Do you have a desire to live in a murder shack two hours away from anything resembling civilization at your sea? We'll pass and quickly, very quickly, flee. That is too much hermit in mass. We'll stick with being a one horse town little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.