Friday, July 20, 2018

Clap And Cheer When One Is Near!

One just walked by. Oh me, oh my. I'm so.....whoopdi friggin doo. Yep, that's what I am at my zoo. Oh, another just did. Pfffffffffffft to any nuts who flip their lid.

Look at me. Look at me.
I'm a star on that there TV.
Maybe YouTube, maybe the stage.
Either way, I'm all the rage.

Come, fawn, stay, look.
You may one day get in my book.
It won't be written by me.
Not a word of it will come to be.

But I'll sign the page.
I'll collect the big wage.
Wouldn't you like me to sign?
After all, I'm ever so divine.

The two seconds you see.
That gives you a woweee.
I'm just that great and admired.
But I can't stay long, I'm tired.

Tired of being me and my life.
I have all of this very hard strife.
I have to get my toenails done.
I just don't have time for any fun.

I'm such a giver to everyone and everything.
Tell my agent to give the IRS a ring.
That donation will lower my income tax.
Why else do you think I did that ad for Ex-Lax?

I can act a role written by another.
I can stand in front a camera controlled by some other.
I can sit in a chair while my make up is done.
Sigh, life is so hard for me always being under the gun.

Bend and cheer and bow as well.
I deserve it even if I can't spell.
My brains may be all in my ass.
But hey, that is what got me that screen pass.

I do nothing substantial but still you bow.
I am more sacred than some kind of cow.
I learned that in a script years ago.
Why I remember it, I don't know.

But look at me, look at me.
I'm the one worshiped by thee.
Grab my gum, my wrapper and stool.
Sell it on eBay because I'm sooooo cool.

Are you a bowing down nut? Are you in some celebrity rut? Maybe a celebrity stalker? Could be their dog walker. The only way any nuts are like that is because the little people give them the power. Take it away, many will cower. No one to worship or obey their every whim. Probably don't even know how to use each limb. Do you pretend you know each celebrity lad or lass? All because they took a screen pass? Damn, are you sure that isn't bad gas? Let it go, maybe not in an elevator, like I do with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

A Feline Day Come What May!

The cat gets his own. Don't you know that at the tone? Does it have a tone? Beats me, go play with a bone. Hey, could go gutter there. But grab protection and beware. Oh where things can go at our show.


Here I stretch.
I won't play fetch.
But you sure will.
Fetching the scoop fits the bill.


It's all mine.
Don't press the feline.
If you try and take,
It will be a mistake.


This is mine too.
Even if I use the one of you.
Don't move it from its spot.
Good. You are well taught.


See? It goes up.
Can avoid a pup.
But it is all mine.
Being a hog is divine.


I told you so.
A chowing down I go.
Those little bits you'll pick up.
Do I look like a pup?


Okay, if I must share.
I will with Cassie at my lair.
But my eye is on you.
Don't try it at our zoo.


A grumpy pose.
I can do those.
The look of death.
Could be your last breath.


Told you so.
Reap what you sow.
Don't reach up for me.
I'll take the hand of thee.


I enjoy the sun.
I'll stay here until there is none.
You can go sit in the dark.
So find a small place, take your butt, and park.


You were using this for food?
Bah, don't be a prude.
If you try, you'll get attitude.
Everything around here is mine, dude.

Don't you love how the cat gets all? The cat even owns the wall. Pat just rents it from us. Sometimes we may even make him cuss. Hey, should have gotten locks for the door. He's just asking for it otherwise at our shore. Wouldn't you like to rule all like the cat? Even have someone clean your scat. That is a life with little sass. But of course some still comes from my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, July 18, 2018

Scarf It Down At Your Town!

Nothing can be done by you humans at all. Not without one thing nearby at your hall. You act like you are starving to death. Some dog waiting around with, or without, bad breath. At least you don't drool. That wouldn't be cool.

Say it loud, say it proud.
Do whatever to draw a crowd.
Once it's drawn, keep it there.
How? Easy peasy. Food to spare.

Have it set up on display.
Many more will come your way.
Grease and grime, dirt and paste.
Someone, somewhere won't let it waste.

They snack and chow.
They'll eat balls of a cow.
That many may see is bull.
True though, until they are full.

Can't get together without a snack.
Can't go out without a lobster shack.
Can't go down a corner without fast food.
Say it's not fast and you're just rude.

Can't attend an event or game.
Can't light a candle and watch the flame.
Have to have that extra addition.
Extra! Extra! This isn't Early Edition.

Driving and eating and driving and eating.
Even go out with some trick or treating.
A treat to trick and dress up like a clown.
My, food has sure taken over your town.

Can't go on a date or find a mate.
Can't go without food on a plate.
Or in a bucket or can or maybe your pocket.
Can't even go without it when attached to a rocket.

Additions, preservatives, GMO and more.
Damn any of that with each encore.
That fine print is so small anyway.
Just chow down and then go out to play.

Or play to chow down to play.
Redundant a bit, but what the hey.
That taste is ever so sweeter after.
Maybe store some spare food up in a rafter.

Say it loud, say it proud.
Fatten up the nearest crowd.
You'll have their heart and their loins
You may even gain a few coins.

Do you humans see yourselves sometimes? Or are you blind to it like mimes? Everything you do brings food in view. Some even eat on the loo. That is rather eww. And what some classify as food isn't really so. But that many just don't want to know. So those rats turds get mashed into the burger you ate. So you ate the equivalent of glue on your plate. The important thing is you had food in mass. Pffft the cat isn't even that much of a glutton little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.