Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Quite The Scene On Your Screen!

So with Halloween month now in full swing and the old Halloween Nazi giving her ring, the cat figured such monsters have to be insecure at their sea, after all, like the Halloween Nazi, they are creepy.

Insecure at your sea?
Just go crazy like me.
What? You can't do that?
Damn, making me work at my mat.

Frankenstein you're not.
You don't shout a lot.
Or at least shout it's alive.
Unless you step in a bee hive.

Dracula sure does suck.
See, you are in luck.
He sucks more than anyone.
Now go have fun.

Mummies are so great.
That all have a common trait.
 They are wrapped in TP.
That is worse than thee.

Werewolves have fleas,
From their head to their knees.
Plus they howl and scratch,
Giving themselves a bald patch.

So you top them,
And their phlegm.
Unless maybe if you are bald too.
Then you can be blue.

Zombies are grand.
They trot across the land.
They eat and never get fat.
They can easily go splat.

But no matter how much you stink,
You aren't the missing link.
They have you beat.
They have stinky zombie feet.

The creature of the black lagoon,
Even scares a dish and spoon.
One look and it makes them crack.
So no need for a heart attack.

At least you can see a blue lagoon,
And go out at noon.
That will perk you up,
Like a butt sniffing pup.

Insecurity all gone now? See, the cat can give a good meow. Just remember when push comes to shove, you can never stink or suck as much as the above. Now my wisdom has come to pass and even the Halloween Nazi got a dig from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Wishing You Well On The Highway To Hell!

The frog just had to belt out another tune. I guess he crossed the border to the land of this loon. He didn't seem to like it very much. I guess those loonies are weird to the touch. Maybe he needs a better ride. I'm sure that cold shrank his umm pride.

I've boarded the highway,
The highway to hell.
The border is lost,
I'm under a spell.

They took my gun,
no right to bear arms.
Those bright red mounties
Must make great fire alarms.

I had to steal monopoly,
Because my money is no good.
These bill colors are so bright,
They can't be misunderstood.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
This place has a weird smell.

Maple syrup is on everything.
From chocolate to toast.
Out in the mountains of snow,
There is even a maple syrup weenie roast.

Give me my Canadian bacon,
Wait! There is none of that here.
Could Americans have invented that?
Get me out of this hemisphere.

I'm on the highway
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
Is this some kind of wishing well?

It asks for a loonie,
Do I have to go insane?
What, now a toonie?
How do I get out of this lane.

What does that sign say?
The damn thing is in french.
When did I leave Canada,
And end up in a France trench?

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
Is that wearing a bell?

A man riding a moose.
That is sure a first.
And now comes a polar bear,
Quenching its thirst.

Some sort of civilization, at last.
Wait! I call a retraction on that.
They are throwing rocks at rocks,
And sweeping ice like some dingbat.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
Where is the border,
What's that they sell?

Get my very own igloo,
Two for the price of one?
Free tickets to hockey,
Is life on ice that fun?

Beer cooled in the snow,
A sight on every lawn.
Where is my gun?
I'll shoot myself, if not out of here before dawn.

I'm on the highway,
The highway to hell.
There is the border,
I've taken my last friendly farewell.

I'm off the highway,
The highway to hell.
I have my gun back,
And Eh, I survived hell.

There is yet another tune at my sand dune. Just popped in the other day so gave it a go in the usual smart ass way. Ever been on such a highway to hell? Maybe tickets to moose rides I should sell? It would sure save on gas and make some money for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Let's All Sing A Long To When Headers Go Wrong!

So many have seen the cat's face on many a header at my place. There are many versions of me and even some of thee. Almost 20 or so you will randomly get here. Wouldn't it be scary to have 20 versions of my little rhyming rear? But not all go right. Warning, may offend your sight.

You may have seen this.
This was a bit of a miss.
But I used it in fun.
Hey, scared everyone.
Need to scare the rats away,
Or to Mary Kirkland's bay,
Feel free to grab and use.
Pat's man boobs can abuse.
That is the drawback,
About working with those from the cheap shack.
They barely speak English at all.
You never know what you'll get to put on the wall.
 Case and point!
Want this on top of my joint?
Grammar Nazi as santa is at play.
I'm sure that would make his day.

Not even sure who the jailbird is.
Maybe I should throw a pop quiz?
Grammar Nazi is throwing the book at him though.
Then look at the other two that show.

One was supposed to have a numb tongue.
Looks like she really popped a lung.
Rather umm err busty too.
Betsy, will a whoopsy do?

Then that is supposed to be a worm.
Around ones neck it does squirm.
She is rather umm err busty too.
Manzi sure dropped a decade or two.

Then there is the cat.
I can be as regal as that.
But I may not have such comic flare.
Plus I have different color hair.

Some just turn out like this,
Good, but a bit of a miss.
Not as provocative as above though.
Grammar Nazi may sure give a ho ho ho.

And now I leave you with a final one.
It will sure make you run.
Cover your eyes while you are able.
This one won't ever go in a fable.

Damn, Pat has some hairy arm pits. I will grab the hair and rip it to bits. So were you scared today? Some of those, mainly Pat, sure had to make you want to run away. Now I will goes wash my eyes and let loose some gas, straight out my ever so regal little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.