Thursday, December 18, 2014

A Blogger Holiday Is At Play!

The cat came upon a news story the other day that was quite interesting to him at his bay. I think I will just copy and paste it in. I do not need to retype it all for you at my bin.

Too Much Spirit?

     It was a convention like any other, bloggers had come from all over, bringing their kids, spouse and one even brought their mother. The name to that one has been left out at the behest of the person though. I think they were embarrassed of the old crow. She got drunk and really did flap her arms and crow. That was the least weirdest thing of the night to show. 

     This really loud bang stopped the festivities in their tracks. The bloggers huddled around in packs. It seemed someone had brought a present that went, boom! A bomb at the blogger convention spelled doom. The FBI were called and the place was locked down. No one was going out drunk that night on the town.

     They searched everyone for any signs, I hear they even searched some felines. Spitty the Kitty was rather ticked. Brian the cat got upset when his hat was flicked. Those tabbies of trout towne brought some sheep, that guy was a real creep. Marg had brought here hoard too. All of them were too busy trying to escape back to their zoo. All they found on the cats were fleas. Afterwards they had very itchy knees.

     Next they thought there might be a Mary cult trying to stage a revolt. Mary, Other Mary and Mary Kirkland all stood in a row. It was a one woman Mary show. But Adam cleared them off that trail. He gave them some facts without fail. Truedessa was the next on their list. But she was automatically dismissed. She did not need a bomb at all. She had deadly sparkly farts on call.

     Terry and Manzanita were too busy yapping about worms and the like. Holy Ghost Writer just told them to take a hike. Alex was playing his guitar for all. He did not take too kindly to the FBI bringing forth last call. Rawkin Robin was off looking for a date. I hear she still needs a mate. Sherry Ellis was showing how she got her duck bill removed from her lips. I hear they moved it to her hips.

     Betsy and Brian were prime suspects by this time. They had stolen reposed cars in their prime. So they had criminal acts down. Silver Fox was left with a frown. He was not even considered at all. He grumbled about how he should have blown up the hall. Snowcatcher just made snow flakes by the ton. Some blue guy just let his mouth run. Stephanis Faris yapped with some guys who like beer in the shower. They were going on a good hour.

     Then came the crack in the case. It was the one with the most sincere face. Elsie and her one eye breathed a sigh of relief. For the first time her one eye didn't bring her grief. The sincere face was that of...Gloria who had baked a cake. She had used TNT under the frosting and lied in wait for all to partake. It had gone off too soon. The FBI locked up the crazy baking loon. The convention continued with no more major things occurring, unless you account the blogger's mother who got down on her hands and knees and began purring.

And you didn't invite the cat, how about that? I guess Gloria has a new hole now. She must have really had a cow. Wanted everyone to go boom. Maybe she ate a bad mushroom? I guess I at least missed Trudessa's sparkly gas. That is a plus for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

A Little Help After A Yelp!

So after waking you up to your new friends yesterday, I figured I would be nice and help you out at my bay. Some are last minute shoppers and you don't want to be gift floppers. So take your parasites for a stroll and get on the gift giving roll.

For those in your life,
Who cause you strife.
Put it over their head.
Suffocate them in bed.

For the nose picker,
Maybe even booger licker.
Now they have some tangy ones.
Could give them the runs.

To the person you never want to see.
Now you'll see them like a Christmas tree.
You'll see them coming from far away,
And be able to avoid them every day.

For those with lots of thoughts.
They want to know how a gummy bear rots.
You are just helping them out.
If they eat it they may pout.

For those with a green thumb.
A gnome with a bare bum.
You might get some flack,
For giving them the crack.

For those who won't shut up,
They are worse than a barking pup.
Give them this to ask questions too.
Then they won't have to be told off by you.

 The scarf that says it all,
When given from your hall.
What is that you say?
Eat crap at your bay.

This one is just for you,
It is much easier at your zoo.
Unless you don't have an air pump,
Then you might turn into a grump.

Umm err for the err whoever.
It can be rather clever.
Although they might get a kick,
Right to the umm wick.

And the best for last,
A feline ass cast.
All stuck up in the air,
Ready to be put on the fridge at your lair.

Now the cat has helped you once more. You can get gifts and forget about pesky parasites at your shore. The cat is just so nice this time of year. I guess I am filled with cheer. So ends this gift pass from my gift giving little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Are They Here To Stay This Holiday?

When you mingle and feel that holiday tingle, when you hug and feel that little itty bitty love bug, when you drink and be merry watching a movie starring a green Jim Carrey, know you are giving cheer to things that are nasty, I fear.

On a cool holiday night,
Under the bright moonlight,
You sway and kiss.
Christmas is bliss.

You shake and hug,
Even some old lug.
You drink from the same mug,
And awww get another hug.

Eat food many have breathed on.
Drink until the coming dawn.
All seems like lots of fun.
Fun to little invisible things as they run.

A new host or three!
They dance with glee.
Bet they sing a show tune,
Jumping to you from a spoon.

And you don't even know.
You still have your cherry glow.
Still have your head in the sand.
Isn't fluoride oh so grand?

Stick to what they tell.
Listen to the "Merry Christmas" bell.
Give Santa a ho ho ho,
He sure has a sparkly glow.

But it all the commotion,
Be sure and acknowledge your promotion.
You have just become a host.
Be mighty proud at your coast.

A host to what you ask?
Well you may want to get the flask.
For you will surely cringe.
Just don't reach for any syringe.

You are host to parasites!
Oh holy nights.
You have little creatures inside you.
Sorry, even in 1st world countries it is 100% true.

Aches, pains, chills, cold hands, foggy head,
No energy when you get out of bed?
Oopsy, you are kind of pregnant at your sea,
And your dozens, if not hundreds, of tiny parasites dance with glee.

Isn't that what you want to hear this time of year? Twice a year you are supposed to de-worm your dog or cat and yet humans are, in most cases, way more fat. What do you think the parasites like more? Give you three guesses at your shore. But enjoy low energy, pains, aches, chills, foggy head and extra gas. I'll stick to being a parasite, as free as can be, little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.