Monday, June 27, 2016

Tell Me A Lie On The Fly!

If I were to say that I tell no lies at my bay would I be lying on display? Are you sure about that? Care to share your answer with the cat? Wait a moment on it. I'll prove I don't lie one bit.

3 months ago,
Change came to my show.
It was change and then some.
For I picked a plump plum.

Yep, it was so ripe,
That it is hard to type.
Good thing I was far ahead.
This blog would have been dead.

By plum I mean numbers,
Then while everyone slumbers,
The impossible came due.
I won the lottery at my zoo.

It was a miracle indeed.
So amazing that it took seed.
50 million all for me.
I now have a huge sea.

A football field for a yard.
Mowing it isn't hard.
Hire someone for that.
I am a rich cat.

A room all for me,
With many a cat tree.
There I play all day.
Cassie even decides to play.

I gave a loonie to the bums,
As they stuck out their thumbs.
I'm not sure they liked that.
I think they cursed the cat.

Some searched me out.
I made them pout.
No sob story can fool me.
I just climbed my cat tree.

I built a underground compound too.
I can hide there if aliens invade our zoo.
I have enough food and water for 10 years stored away.
So I'll survive come what may.

I still have 30 million left.
It has such heft.
Can write all day.
No longer have to slave away.

Are you a millionaire too? Have a giant zoo? Are you jealous of the millionaire cat? What? I'm lying where I am at? You picked up on that did you? I guess I will tell a lie at my zoo. Or maybe I can blame the singing bass. He forced me to lie out my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Care To Go With This Flow?

Did you pass go but you got no dough? Damn, off to jail you must go. It may cost more than 200 bucks though. But you can vacation in style. Although you may want to bring a file.

Get your hole digging ready.
You may need to dig steady.
Hopefully 20 years is does not take you,
Give or take a few.

Alcatraz Hotel is the place for you.
There you can have no view.
You get thrown in the slammer.
No need to even throw down the hammer.

Has 56 rooms.
Even for brides and grooms.
There you can play,
In a cell all day.

It was a German prison that was fixed up.
You may need your own water cup.
Nah, they'll pass you that.
Along with some food where you're at.

But through a slot in the door.
Hopefully it doesn't fall to the floor. 
That would be bad.
5 second rule is still had.

You get barred windows,
For those crack shows.
They have a curtain though,
Just so you know.

You also get a loo,
But it's out there to view.
Right in the corner of the room.
So bad gas may loom.

Has a conference center as well.
That is just swell.
Can hold a whole group.
Bring a whole travel troop.

Open 24hrs as well.
So you can ring a bell,
Poof, the guards will be there.
Helping you out at their lair.

Ready to visit today?
Alcatraz Hotel actually looks like an interesting stay.
A cushy prison for one and all.
It even has an elevator down the hall.
Did you know there was such a thing out there? And not even at the actual tourist trap Alcatraz with it's lair. Kaiserslautern is the place. No chance I can say that at any pace. Ready to go to jail and sing jailhouse rock in mass? I'd just slip through the bars with my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, June 25, 2016

A Little News Fly From Upon High!

Did you know much is coming due? Well now you will at my zoo. For the cat has seen headlines once more and there is plenty in store.

2019: Elvis come back from the dead.
He comes back with a bald head.
4876: animals take over.
That includes good old rover.

5483: Baseball is played in space.
That may get a funny face.
8365: Humans no longer the dominant race.
I guess many aliens Earth does embrace.

3123: Earth almost explodes due to alien attack.
I guess those aliens gave us flack.
2024: Cat saves the day.
Don't we do that anyway?

2036: Fossil fuel runs out.
That will make many shout.
6583: Skynet goes offline.
Damn, who allowed it to align?

5493: Psychic wins the lottery jackpot.
I bet it was rigged or a robot.
2136: Fleas are extinct on Earth.
Now that is a headline of worth.

2154: Alien dogs bring fleas back.
Figures the butt sniffers would be a flea ridden pack.
6590: Remakes are outlawed everywhere.
I'll be dead, what do I care?

4832: Blue's shoe is found.
Hmm long after he was around.
4343: Cooking is no longer allowed.
It draws too big of a crowd.

2138: Vegas gets sucked into a sink hole.
I guess it was a very bad roll?
3137: Self cleaning diapers are created.
Parents everywhere are elated.

7392: Earth gets hit with a giant shrink ray.
Damn, that can't be a very nice day.
2034: Rainbow with pot of gold appears.
To that I give a few cheers.

2065: Flying cars crash and halt all production.
Hey, they'd be a good population reduction.
9999: The world ends.
How it ends? That depends.

There you go. Now you are in the know. You can tell your great great great grand kids what to expect for their life. May want to tell them to arm with more than a knife. The cat will let you know if any more come to pass from my future news headline seeing little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.