Saturday, July 26, 2014

Jobs You Could Do For A Buck Or Two!

Want to earn a buck or two? Well the cat can easily help you. Although you may find it not what it is cracked up to be. Then again it could intrigue thee.

Plenty of jobs here and there,
At an online lair.
Odesk has a ton.
Let's give some a run.

Write 10,000 words.
Could be done by birds.
Easy to get some pay.
Hmm $5 pay out on display.

In need of site.
Want it done overnight.
I want it to be a hit.
$20 is all I offer for it.

Need an app made.
One that will never fade.
$10 is all for you,
To make it come due.

Comment on blogs.
Help people through fogs.
Bring them to our site.
$10 a week for helping with our plight.

A review blogger is needed.
Out the bad ones will be weeded.
Never fear though,
Winner gets $1 a review show.

Design our logo.
Beats jumping on a pogo.
You will get $3 too,
For the best you can do.

Change passport info.
I want things more in a row.
$5 for the best one.
Hmm fishy work to be done.

Add Facebook followers today!
I want ones that won't go away.
Give the fake ones to me.
$4 for a 10,000 fake spree.

Create and run a blog.
It is about a dog.
Or maybe a log.
$3 a week plus eggnog.

There you are. Now you can make some dough at your sand bar. Don't say the cat never helped you to buy a happy meal. That is quite the deal. Of course there are good ones that come to pass. If you can get them you could be richer, won't take much, than my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Make The Cut, Now What?

So the cat got an email a while ago and it was not hate mail at my show. Damn, I must be doing something wrong. I guess I need zombie feet to come on strong.

How do you start a blog?
I am a bump on a log.
I want to start a blog.
Help me through the fog.

Gave them the link,
In it did sink.
They signed up,
Like an obedient pup.

Now what do I do?
I don't have a clue.
There are things here.
They make me run in fear.

Blogger is easy as can be.
Not sure what is wrong with thee.
But laid it out with ease,
And it was a breeze.

Does it look good?
Will people come to my hood?
How do I get them to come?
I think I need some rum.

Gave a little meow,
Telling them how.
Then they were happy,
But for all of that, turns out they aren't yappy.

What can I write?
It is such a plight.
I have no clue.
Can you write for my zoo?

So not only did I create it,
Or pointed what to hit.
But now I have to write it too?
Pffft to you.

I guess I won't blog.
I will go walk the dog.
Thank you though.
Now I must go.

So now you know.
Even before ducks are in a row,
Don't assume a thing,
Make sure they know what to write at their wing.

Hmmm start a blog and do not know what to write. That is sure a scary plight. They must have thought it happened by magic. How tragic. Better luck teaching a singing bass. At least it provided a post for my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

A Little Skittle Spittle!

Can you say that three times fast without putting your tongue in a cast? Is there even a cast for a tongue? Probably about as likely as popping a lung. Anyway, away we stroll. Did you know a skittle can please a troll?

Today you learn a skill,
That few truly know.
So just stand still,
And listen to my flow.

Give a troll a little,
Give a troll a lot.
As long as it's a skittle,
And nothing pokadot.

No, not peanut brittle.
No, not hot sauce.
If you want an acquittal,
Forget the reindeer moss.

It doesn't matter how.
It doesn't matter who.
No milk from a cow,
It looks too much like glue.

Lose the fancy bag,
Lose the clever grin.
He might start to gag,
When you bring the skittles in.

You need to color code,
You need to keep track,
Take an extra load,
Hide them behind your back.

Put them in his hand,
Put them in his shoe,
Forget nose land,
You'll just make him go achoo.

Click here to have a peer!

What? I did not finish it at my hut? Do I look like a dumb mutt? Want to know the end have to buy and hit send. So if a troll every comes near you, you at least know what to do. Feed it a skittle to stop its sass. No need to thank my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.