Friday, November 28, 2014

Zombies Part Umm Four Take The Tour!

Another year is almost down. That means today the nuts fly all over town. Let's barrel through each other like we are on fire. But wait! The situation is far more dire.

That thingy maggy is $10 off.
It can really cure a cough.
That TV is as big as can be.
I need it at my sea.

I'm a fast moving zombie today.
Buy buy buy they say.
I will charge it and run.
More debt is always fun.

I need this stuff.
Life is so rough.
I will no longer mutter,
If I have more clutter.

Forget about dinner.
This sale is a winner.
I get an extra 2 dollars off with my coupon as well.
I am so lucky I'm going to Hell.

Maybe sooner than I think.
Look at that kitchen sink.
I'll fight and I'll shout.
I'll make the other guy pout.

A thief in the night.
I will win every fight.
I will save a ton.
Shopping is so fun.

Even if I spend, spend, spend.
I save a ton in the end.
I get a lot of junk too.
Whoa hoo!

Now my car is filled.
Next month I may get billed.
But I'll worry about that then.
Now it's off to my den.

Look what I was able to save.
This one is truly my fav.
I bought two of it.
Isn't it just the umm spit?

Who cares if I only have room for one.
Buying two just had to be done.
Don't be a Scrooge at your sea.
Buy, buy, buy on a shopping spree.

Don't you get all cheery and bright when such great sales come to light? You get to be a fast moving zombie at your sea and hit others with an elbow or knee. Black Friday once again get a bash pass from my online shopping little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Blogvengers Part Nine, Zombies Try To Dine!

Chapter 9
The Two Towers
Zombies With Powers

     Drazin let his eyes glow bright red and moved around his head. He showed the group the path, as each of them waited for some kind of zombie wrath. Truedessa knew her stones would not work without the open sky, but she figured out other ways to make the zombies fry. Pat was still crazy with all the voices in his head and the cats just kept wishing they were back home in bed.
     "Drazin is kind of disappointed, so far ascending this tower has been super easy."
     "Demon, you just had to go and say that."
     The stairs turned into a slide and it sent the entire group for a ride. They slide right back to the bottom and then beyond. They all ended up below the tower in what seemed like a pond.
     "Water, eww!"
     "It doesn't bother me. Cassie, don't be so prissy."
     Cassie jumped around and climbed on Pat's shoulder. She sat on him like he was a boulder. Orlin did not care and then the group caught something in Drazin's red glare.
     "Did Drazin see what Drazin thinks Drazin just saw?"
     "Get over here."
     Truedessa pulled Pat and Cassie near her as Cassie continued to clean her fur. Orlin stood near them all and Drazin shined his eyes on the wall. There hanging on the wall was something that looked like it was from some museum hall. It was some ancient creature that had quite the zombie feature. The thing jumped into the center of the pond and stretched its wings out, looking like it wanted to bond. It then opened its mouth and seemed ready to stunt everyone's growth.
     "A zombie dragon. Godly mook, you had to open your big mouth."
     "Demon, we shall slay it. Ouch!"
     Truedessa whacked Pat in the head and tried to get another voice to pop in so they could cause the zombie dragon dread. It breathed puke like fire and all found the situation rather dire. They scattered in every direction, trying to escape its detection. Pat continued to speak in many voices as well. But not the one Truedessa found swell.
     "Take that! You can't beat the cat."
     Orlin kicked water in its face with his back feet. The zombie dragon sure did not think that was neat. It breathed puke fire right at him. Drazin then tried to give its neck a trim. He yanked off his golden shoulder armor and moved around behind it. He aimed at its neck with the sharp edge and went for the hit. The zombie dragon's tale waved around and whacked Drazin up side his head, knocking him to the ground.
     Cassie tried her best to climb back up the slide. But she kept falling back in, getting wet, and creating a small tide. Truedessa tried to summon some magic stones to kill it, but she could not make any appear in the underground pit. She kept slapping Pat who ran through different voices in his head, sometimes no one could even understand what was said.
     "Drazin is going to make this thing pay."
     "Do it now godly mook. Use your dollar store contact lenses and fry the thing."
     "Shut up, fleabag."
     "I'll give the thing fleas right on its knees."
     "It's flesh is already rotten. That isn't going to work."
     "Oh and slapping Pat upside the head will. Now is no time for a thrill."
     "By my calculations..."
     "Nope, wrong one."
     Truedessa slapped Pat again, as he scrolled through the voices of many men. The rest of the group continued to bicker as the zombie dragon's puke flames continued to flicker. There seemed to be no way out. They were easy prey, like trout.
     Zombies seemed to be coming from every direction. Brian's gawk even caught one with an undead erection. He shot it in the head and made sure that one was good and dead. Anne and Elsie kept to their Amazonian ways, using swords to chop off zombie heads as they went through the zombie maze. Hank kept shouting he was number one, as around and around he continued to run. Mary got the zombies that came near, cursing one as it almost bit her on the ear. Alex kept watch for tiny zombies returning. as his butt was still burning.
     "You zombie eejits will never defeat me." Anne gave a Xena warrior cry and then gave a kiss to Old One Eye.
     "Is now really the time."
     "You're just jealous all you got was some zombie ass." Anne made fun of the ninja wannabe and went back to her zombie killing spree.
     "Brian, we may have been safer at dVerse or crazy Betsy's."
     "I am number one."
     Brian gawked at Hank and everything else in view. He waved off Hank having a loose screw. He then spotted a door and gave a roar.
     The group followed Brian as the zombies nipped at their heels, wanting to make all of them meals. They just never seemed to end. It was like there was a zombie making machine that just kept hitting send. They ran in the room, Hank first, and slammed the door shut, locking it and sealing it with a broom.
     "I was number one!"
     "Brian, why is this room so bright?"
     Brian tried to gawk, still missing his mohawk, but the room was all aglow. It seemed to be giving off every color of the rainbow.
     "This is not good. That could be my next hit song if someone had not smashed my last guitar."
     Alex held onto his grudge while none of the rest of the group seemed able to budge. It seemed the light was holding them in one spot. It then took form and smelled of zombie rot. It was a super powered rainbow zombie that could freeze all below it. Anne kept trying to move, throwing a fit.
     "You zombie eejit. I am going to..."
     Anne got blasted in the face with a yellow light. It blinded her because it was so bright. Elsie tried to help her out, but she also could not move and she could not even shout. Elsie then got blasted with a blue light, everything around her turned into a fright. She was seeing demons in everybody now. Brian had turned into a demon zombie cow.
     Alex got hit with a red light and now everything he seemed to want to fight. Hank got hit with a green one and all he wanted to do was have fun. Mary took the last color to the face, after being hit with the pink light all she wanted to do was embrace.
     "I love you, Anne." Mary hugged Anne, like she was a huge fan.
     "Brian, you destroyed my guitar, you will pay."
     Alex lunged at Brian who just jumped out of the way. He really wanted to make Brian pay. Everyone seemed able to move once again, as they ran around the rainbow den. The rainbow zombie seemed to be enjoying the show, watching everyone sink to a new low.
     "I will still chop your head off, you eejit."
     Anne gave her best Xena scream and swung her sword around and around. She felt breath on her neck and yelled for all to hit the deck. She swung around and smiled with delight, thinking with one strike she ended this plight. Instead when she bent down and felt the head, she was filled with dread. She chopped off the head of her lover, Old One Eye. She was dead and Anne began to cry.
     "I'm number one, I'm number one." Hank jumped around like a hyper two year old, letting all the fun take hold.
     "Do you need a hug?"
     Mary tried to hug Alex and Brian as they fought. But she got pushed away as she neared their spot. She got pushed right into the rainbow zombie, and with one bite, he bit the neck of Mary. She fell to the floor, as the zombie scratched off one more.
     "I am number three. That can't be. Pick me! Pick me!"
     Hank jumped up and down, wanting to restore his number one crown. He jumped right in the rainbow zombie's face. Hank was quickly made into a snack after the zombie gave him an embrace.
     "You are dead, eejit."
     Anne got up with tears in her eyes. She did not care about the other guys. She just swung her sword around and around, hoping on the rainbow zombies neck, its blade would soon be found.
     "I want my guitar back."
     "Get a grip, man."
     Brian flipped Alex off of him. Alex landed beside the zombie and thought things were grim. He got up to run away, but as he turned he was left in dismay. An oncoming Anne chopped his head clean off. She then heard the zombie cough. She perked up her ear and took one more swing. She finally chopped off the head of the undead thing. Anne's sight was restored and she saw Brian was the only other one alive, thanking the lord.
     "Let's end this."
     Anne marched out the back door and up the stairs, giving off a few swears. Brian gawked everything one final time, feeling sorry for all who had been knocked down in their prime. He then followed Anne and gawked for traps. In the distance the pair heard some echoing claps.
     "Buckaroo, hold on to your side shooters." Pat yanked Truedessa out of the way of another incoming puke fire ball spray.
     "Finally, now just turn around."
     Truedessa placed each of her hands on Pat's shoulders and concentrated as hard as she could. Pat pointed his finger, and the cats finally understood. Drazin eyed his burnt armor and curled his nose. He wanted to make this zombie dragon suffer new lows.
     "Drazin, get out of the way. Just wait a minute to make the thing pay."
     Orlin jumped up and kicked Drazin out of the way while Pat's finger began to give off an icy display. A few seconds later, just as the zombie dragon got ready to puke fire, an ice beam shot out of Pat's finger that the rest of the group did admire. It froze the zombie dragon in place. Drazin then got an evil look on his face.
     "Drazin is going to make this thing pay for what it did to Drazin's armor. Out of the way, fleabags."
     Drazin marched up to the frozen zombie dragon and gave it a kick. The thing  then burst to pieces some slick. Cassie, who was ticked off and wetter than she had ever been in her life. Jumped on the broken shards, cracking them further, for all the added strife. Orlin joined in and the group enjoyed their win.
     "Drazin is glad that crazy woman can make use of your crazy human, fleabags."
     "We are glad too. But the both of them are cuckoo."
     "Can we get out of here so I can get clean. I will have to bath for a month."
     The group watched as the slide became stairs once again. They could hear faint clapping from some far off den. Cassie jumped out of the water as fast as she could. Drazin was ready to end the ruler of this hood. Orlin hopped up, looking for some sand and Pat and Truedessa followed, ready for their last stand.


And with only one chapter left to go, how will it end at my show? I guess we shall see one way or another soon. Maybe all will have death by spoon? That would sure cause bad gas. I would not want to be a spooned to death little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Better Take Stock As You Gawk!

The cat notices hoarders get a lot of wtf looks, and yeah they deserve it at their nooks. But what about chuckers too? Those ones who chuck every last thing in view.

Don't need this,
Don't need that.
This I won't miss,
So go now, scat!

My place is bare.
My place is clean.
Not one single hair,
Quite the scene.

I have to go.
I have to crap.
But oh no!
No TP in any gap.

The toilets plugged,
Now I'm pissed.
This makes me bugged,
A plunger I missed.

Damn, I'm bare.
I did not mean that.
People will stare,
My clothes went splat.

My teeth are rotting.
My breath does stink.
This clean plotting,
I need to rethink.

The dust is gathering,
The floor has dirt.
I have no soap for lathering,
No water bottle to squirt.

No curtains at all,
That doesn't bother me.
Damn, I walked down the hall,
Outside saw my naked spree.

No door on the place.
At least I have fresh air.
I can see every face,
That passes my lair.

And the best of the best,
Is I can pass every test.
I can very easily rest.
No pillow, blanket or bed to cover my chest.

Many hoarders are as crazy as can be, but so are the chuckers at one's sea. I chuck away here at our bay. But there comes a point where common sense kicks in. Sadly, I've seen some of the above at a bin. No TP is just a crime in mass. That will never happen to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.