Wednesday, March 4, 2015

A Little Shoo For Your Insecure View!

So you want to make that insecure stuff shoo? Think it is hard to do? Bah, it is as easy as can be. Just follow along with me.

Still oh so insecure,
After my previous allure?
Hmm that could be taken wrong.
Might make all sing the insecurity song.

But it has to shoo,
Not stick like glue.
Jump away like a kangaroo,
At the count of two.

Why use three?
Two is faster for thee.
One, two, poof.
There goes the insecure goof.

Would poof be three?
Don't argue with me.
It's one, two, go.
No three is to show.

Go all Lethal Weapon on you?
Guess that at my zoo?
Score one for you.
What? Oh yeah, the shoo.

The shoe dropped.
Something flopped.
The cake wasn't topped.
The pic was cropped.

All things the same,
In a roundabout claim.
Just sit and think.
Get it? Wink, wink.

Still need a shoo?
It can't be true.
You have stopped thinking.
Oops, things aren't sinking.

Can you be out of your head?
Wouldn't that make you dead?
Maybe a ghost in bed?
New thrill at club med.

Maybe I'll get a kickback,
For such an idea at my shack.
Shack up with a ghost.
It will spread from coast to coast.

See? Now your insecurity climbed a tree. You were too busy trying to make sense of my nonsense. Sense of nonsense can go on either side of a winding fence. Can see what you want to see and forget about insecurity. Just get out of your head for a while. Change that insecure dial. Just go roll in the grass. It works for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Dumb Law Has A Flaw!

So the cat has heard of this Murphy fellow and he seems to be anything but mellow. The guy gets the blame for everything bad. He must have thought his law was rad.

The worst of  the worst.
There's nothing to quench your thirst.
Rant and shout all about,
The law is to blame as to why you're out.

Not that you were too lazy to buy a drink.
Or too cheap to use a filter on the sink.
Nope, it is good old Murhpy's law.
That just has to leave you raw.

Going for a trip.
On a banana peel you slip.
You get in the wrong lane.
You miss your plane.

You sit there for an hour.
You get an airport germ shower.
You get on a plane next to crying baby.
You crash and die and just maybe,

It was all that Murphy guy.
His law made you fry.
Not that you were dumb enough to slip on a banana peel.
Is that even able to be a real deal?

But that is not all.
Those left at home ball.
They mourn your death.
Oh no, they can't catch their breath.

Carbon Monoxide has filled the house.
A cord got chewed by a mouse.
It made the house fill up.
It even affected the happy pup.

They scrambled to get out as they fade away.
But oopsy, the kids were left loose to play.
They set things on fire.
Now the flames are rising higher.

The whole house is up in smoke.
Everyone continues to choke.
They grab onto their head,
And all of them drop dead.

They curse Murphy in the afterlife.
He was the cause of all their strife.
Turns out Murphy also gave them a booby prize.
The neighbors, who could have saved them, were deaf and didn't hear their cries.

Yep, that just came out. Well it is the worst of the worst that took note. But pffft to blaming some dumb law. About as plausible as the above happening without a flaw. Murphy just wanted the fame. Now those who aren't bible thumpers out blaming the devil, curse his name. Bad crap will come to pass. No dumb Murphy's Law excuse is given by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

Monday, March 2, 2015

Why It Would Be Bad Just A Tad!

So it seems every human on the planet wants to be a millionaire. Heck, some of them even want to be a billionaire. But would that really be good, especially if other people knew it at your hood?

You are set for life.
There is no strife.
Can sit and relax.
Pay any property tax.

But what is this?
It's not all bliss.
Others know it.
They want a bit.

They bum and whine.
Pray to the divine.
That has become you,
With their boo hoo.

Nothing for something.
A familiar ring.
When welfare don't work.
You are their perk.

Calls from every charity.
Fund cancer at your sea.
Pfft wouldn't give them a dime.
But that's another rhyme.

Got banks on your ass.
They look at your mass.
They want you to invest.
Their advice is the best.

Need a huge gate,
To stop the "give me" trait.
Or just move altogether,
A storm you can't weather.

Called a jerk or worse,
Making them curse,
If you don't comply.
Some even want you to die.

Then the money they can take,
While they toss you in a lake.
So you hire a bodyguard.
He patrols the yard.

They just want to give a helping hand.
Isn't good old greed grand?
Your sanity may be lost.
So is it worth the cost?

Sadly, the cat is not speaking from experience at our sea. No millionaire near me. Would you want to be one if that was the case? One would have to disappear without a trace. It is just funny some of the things you hear when people know someone with dough is near. No wonder they hide away and act crass. I would too if such nuts bothered my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.