Monday, August 29, 2016

A Writer List With A What Off Twist!

Chrys Fey said she was saved from the cat's wrath a while ago. Well I just had to fix that, you know. She sure came with a What Off post. Who knew writers she wanted to roast?

Don't do that.
Don't be a cat.
That is just wrong.
Sing a new song.

Be normal as can be.
Normal? Beats me.
But be it.
Not some other shit.

You'll never rise,
With such a disguise.
Just follow me.
Let yourself free.

Don't be a ninja wannabe.
That's an awful spree.
Don't be a cat.
Whoops, I said that.

So you can spell.
What the hell.
You have two blogs.
Don't be time hogs.

They're, there and their is here.
Of them you have no fear.
But you're a blue guy.
That just gets an oh me, oh my.

That's not the way.
Not the way to pay.
That is the way to fail.
So hit the trail.

Don't follow me.
No saying spree.
They are so cliche.
Make them go away.

Hit the trail was it.
In case you didn't pick up that bit.
You don't even need to read.
Just type a story at your feed.

No editing needs to be done.
Shove it in the face of everyone.
Read the writing on the wall.
For today, that is all.

Wowweee, she sure gets quite the ego trip when she let's the What Off rip. May want to do the opposite of all of that? What? This was written by the cat? Haven't you learned yet? I'm just a channeling pet. I channel the What Offs of all. Then I give them a call. I know you believe such a pass. You have to trust my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

A True Lie What Off Fly!

It seems we have another liar today. Maybe her pants are on fire at her bay? Is that just wishful thinking toward liars? Maybe some pyromaniac that likes to set fires? Beats the heck out of me. On with the What Off from Liedessa at our sea.

The moon is large.
The moon is grand.
It causes a charge,
All across the land.

It make you pay.
It takes your money.
You buy what's on display.
It makes you act funny.

No need to howl.
No need to stare.
You won't growl,
Or run around bare.

Nope, you'll buy.
Buy or die.
Buy on the fly.
Buy first try.

The moon isn't real.
Nope, not one bit.
It is there to create a deal,
And that is it.

Subliminal messaging to crowds.
It is there to make you buy.
Pull back the shrouds.
I tell you no lie.

The full moon gets all.
That half moon gets some.
When the others fall,
Some play dumb.

Marketing for the rich.
It has you in hand.
Feel that twitch?
Isn't subliminal messaging grand?

Even if you have no dough,
You have a credit card.
If neither one though,
You'll dig for gold in the yard.

All so you, buy, buy, buy.
Buy until you die.
Buy on the first try,
When a full moon does fly.

Who knew the moon wasn't real? That is quite the ordeal. Liedessa is sure moon obsessed. Aren't you glad she confessed? Now you can all hide away. No moon causing Black Friday. Hmm Liedessa may be full of it. Didn't they land on that shit? That could have been a fake too. You decide what is true. Liedessa and Truedessa can fight in mass. I'll just be a watching little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Saturday, August 27, 2016

A What Off Tweet Ever So Neat!

Humbird goes all What Off today and gives up her humming way. She is Tweetbird now. Doesn't that just wow? Beats a cow. Moocow would raise an eyebrow.

140 characters or less.
That is a mess.
Life is a mess.
That I confess.

See what I did?
Did I do rid?
Rid the did?
Flip your lid?

See my food?
Food isn't rude.
Ate lunch today.
Love the display.

Bored at work.
Work isn't a perk.
Working to work.
Work working jerk.

Flip and flop.
You can't stop.
Flop to flip.
Take a dip.

The best, insert whatever here.
The best gets a cheer.
Besting the best.
Best beat the rest.

I'm raring to go.
Beats stop, you know.
Go to stop.
Go's a flop.

My baby sleeps through the night.
Sleeping is a fright.
Fright in the night.
Nightmares aren't right.

Enjoy my cool jazz.
Don't be a spaz.
Spaz to jazz.
Jazz of the spaz.

Not a word.
Word to absurd.
Absurd life's word.
So says the Tweetbird.

I guess those prompts went out the window. Tweetbird uses Twitter tweets to prompt her show. That could lose a brain cell or two. Maybe she better stick to humming at her zoo. Do you hum or tweet to the Twitter beat? Hum means avoid that sass. No need to be a tweeting little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.