Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Today Things Aspire To Expire!

So here at my sea we are going to look for an expiry. I mean everything has it now a days. I seems we are going through an expiry phase. What, you did not know? I guess I will have to show.

Built to last!
These are iron cast.
Oopsy expiry has passed.
We made it half assed.

That part on your car,
It can go really far.
Far is relative though,
Just so you know.

That computer you use,
Can sure amuse and abuse,
Sorry though it's gonna break.
But your money we'll still take.

A can of this or that,
Will expire years later at your mat.
That has to make it good.
Such additives are just misunderstood.

That camera you use to shoot all.
It will go up on the broken wall.
After one too many a click,
It will expire some slick.

That coupon is grand.
Use it across the land.
Whoops, you are out of luck.
Hey, it was only a buck.

It also applies to people,
Forget the pointy steeple.
When out goes the fire,
A lawyer loves to expire.

Out goes the light.
That is such a fright.
For it is our desire,
To make it expire.

Forget the one that could stay on,
Lighting the way at every lawn,
For decades and more.
We have to fleece you at your shore.

Build them to expire,
So profits rise hire.
That is the way to be.
Don't you agree?

I wonder what the cat should post at his mat? We expire when dead or unable to get out of bed? Actually should be three months after that. For we are far ahead at our mat. Even that singing wall bass was built to expire unlike my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Monday, September 1, 2014

How To Make Thee Freak Out With A Scream And Shout!

Ever want to go around blogland and lend a helping hand? No? Well you are in luck today at my show. Now you can do the opposite of that. All thanks to the cat.

Want to tick off Brian,
And leave him sighin?
Stick him in the grocery store.
He'll quickly run for the door.

What about the ninja wannabe?
That one is easy.
Just snatch is guitar.
Warning, you may not get far.

Betsy is easy as well.
One can easily raise a little hell.
Just steal her coffee maker.
She may harm the taker.

Rosey will turn and run,
Just show her a bb gun.
Actually she may back up instead.
Butt shot beats head.

Manzanita and Terry are easy.
No need to get cheesy.
Just grab some worms,
Two for one with wormy germs.

Theresa you can take.
She may drown you in a lake.
But just stop Halloween.
She'll make a big scene.

The Grammar Nazi is an easy win.
You don't even have to leave your bin.
Their are easy ways to annoy.
See what I did they're with joy?

Old one eye is waaay easy too.
Just laugh at her one eyed view.
But she may turn you to stew,
Or flush you down a golden loo.

Steal Adam's fact finding.
Then his teeth will be grinding.
Maybe a facts about no facts will come due.
I bet he'll dedicate it to you.

Mary is easy too.
Just let her dogs eat poo.
Simple stuff I say.
Bad breath all the way.

Just ask the cat if you need to know anymore. He has the inside scoop at his shore. He just scoops it out of the litter box. Their is one for Grammar Nazi Fox. Get it yet? Are you too slow to catch onto the pet? Either way you now know how to stir things up for some blogland mass, all thanks to me little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

A Little Twist That Can't Be Missed!

So why not get your tongue in a twist today here at my bay? No objections? Okay! The cat will now take it away.

Wrists wrap wrists with wrappers to wrist wrap wrists.
Wow, wrapped wrists must make fists.
Toes take trots to toe toe town today to toe time.
Piggies must think that is just a crime.

Rabbits riot rotten rodents raw ripe rears.
That will be added to all fears.
Buying big bad beetleborgs bring big bad bugs.
Yeah, I ripped off the beetle thugs.

Buy bugs big bad beetleborgs behind buy buys.
Wait! Is that the same? Lies!
Eat every eats eaten.
Had to leave one that could be beaten.

Faint for figures from figures finding figures found.
That must really friggin astound.
Whoopdi whoops wow whoopers winging whoopdi whoops.
That must awe all the rhyming troops.

Sick sickos slide slick slowly sickos showing shows.
I guess that is how it goes.
Comedy comics come crowing comedy crows.
I guess that is just umm who knows.

Great gonging gongs go gonging.
No gongs can leave you longing.
City cops cop core criminals copping cops.
That has to be some flops.

Tonight true truth tries to time truth that's too true.
True truth? Who knew?
Little long limos like limos long.
I guess limos come on strong.

Watch watchers watching watchers with watches.
Might need a few scotches.
Sour systems sense sour systems sweetly sour.
I guess it is that kind of hour.

Flies fly for flight flying fly flies.
A rat in disguise.
Do dogs drown dogs drowning dogs doing dogs?
Hmmm stick with brown logs.

Screens saw screens screening screens screwing screens.
Hmmm something dirty for teens?
Rhyming rhymers rhyme right rhymes rhyming rhymes right.
That is one that works for my site.

There you go. Did your tongue go high and low? Can you say each three times fast? Hopefully your tongue is not in a cast. They may all cause gas. You were warned by my tongue twisting little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.