Saturday, March 26, 2011

Betsy and the Fox are Addicted, Should I Feel Conflicted?

So after some badgering from the above mentioned two, I decided to write up a new post right now for all of you. As I was busy with the lets Face it Facts, but I can take a quick step off the tracks.

But as you all might not know Brian from WaystationOne is up for a shorty award in old New York, the cat would like to go there one day even on a stork, but who knows, we'll see how things goes, as the cat just tried to make the trip and here's a tip, if you come across a Drazin guy, run away or you might cry, as he is really mean and acts like a teen. So here is the tale of how the cat and of course my tag along Pat, tried to go to help Brian win a shorty award in New York, but instead almost got stabbed with a fork.

Oh and the Drazn guy and Pat, didn't rhyme like the cat, so you'll have to excuse these two nuts, as they just don't have the rhyming guts.

Pat and the Cat
Try to get across the Border

It was a day like any other, as the cat and Pat drove up to the border with one another. But things went rather a rye when they met this Drazin guy. For we pulled up to pass and came across this ass. As he asked for all the normal stuff, then started in on us in a big huff.

Drazin: "So why do you two runts want to go to this God forsaken country today?"

With the first words the came from his foul mouth, as we tried to head south. I was going to tell him where to go, but Pat was quick to say no. Then tried to respond all nice, but that Drazin guy did it twice.

Pat: "The cat and I are going to see Brian from WaystationOne win a shorty award, is that ok with you?"

He raised an eyebrow having no idea what the award meant and I was about to steal from Lanie telling him to get bent. Before he once again opened his big trap and went on a big long yap.

Drazin: "So you and this funny looking cat are going to go watch some guy win an award for being short? Only in America Drazin guesses, only in America."

Pat raised his eybrow and look at me, of which I knew that he could see, this guy was talking in the third person, only making our situation worsen. So I blurted something out, to this stupid looking man goat.

Cat: "What don't you shut your mouth and let us pass, you stupid low level toll booth ass."

Pat gave me a glare, as the Drazin guy started to stare and we knew he was going to let us have it now and boy what came out of his mouth did wow.

Drazin: "Did Drazin hear you right? Did you just call Drazin an ass? While no fleabag is going to talk to Drazin like that, get out of the car now fleabag before Drazin comes in there and drags you out."

Pat and I started to get out of the car, as Drazin lifted his bar. He then came to my side, with a huge stride, looking kind of scary and his face was really hairy. But he pointed at Pat to stay in the car as he just wanted me, but I'd take this guy on for free. So Pat just smiled and let us duke it out, as he had little doubt, the cat could handle his own and knock this clown off his thrown.

Cat: "So now what do you want Drazin you clown, you want the cat to make you frown?"

Drazin: "Drazin has to see if you've had all your shots, as Drazin thinks Drazin sees some little green spots. This could mean you have rabies and won't be allowed to cross and Drazin would just love that. Now turn around you stupid looking flea bag, while Drazin looks you over."

Cat: "You want to sniff the cat's but like rover, maybe I'll shit out a four leafed clover. Then it bring you luck and I can be done with this third person talking fuck."

Drazin: "Alright up against the wall fleabag, Drazin is going to see if Drazin can't find that four leafed clover or any other contraban you might have stashed in your body cavity."

My eyes went right wide, as I was hoping he lied, for he slapped a long white glove on his hand and it wasn't long before he was shoving it up the cats no mans land. Pat couldn't even watch, as he went up another notch. Oh that wasn't pretty and made me yelp, but this guy was going to need help.

Cat: "Did you enjoy that you baffoon, as you are nothing but a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Thinking your all big and bad, being a poor deprieved border crossing lad. Sitting in your little square, acting as if it's your big old lair, when really you are nothing but inbred trash, that I hope gets a good rash."

Drazin: "While Drazin seems to have a little smart mouth standing before Drazin, who likes being felt up the ass and who likes to rhyme, and you call Drazin the cartoon, maybe you should look in the mirror poor fleabag. Heck maybe Drazin should let you pass, as you are awful short, then you could win a shorty award too."

Not knowing how dumb he sounded he gave a big laugh which had many confounded. As we were starting to cause a scene as this guy was just getting more mean.

Drazin: "For Drazin is the law in this little section here and if Drazin doesn't want to let you pass, Drazin doesn't have to let you pass."

Cat: "Do you like repeating yourself? Maybe you're broken and need to go back to the factory shelf?"

Drazin: "Alright fleabag, Drazin has had enough off you, access to the south is denied, get back in there with your little bum buddy there and leave, for you ain't getting across. Drazin isn't going to allow it, for you've messed with the Great God Duke Drazin, border crossing expert and what Drazin says goes, so scat you silly looking cat."

Cat: "We're going through, even if it means running over you. So what do you think of that you over exageratted twit, will that cause you to have a fit?"

Some of his co-workers were now laughing at this Drazin guy and liking how the cat was being sly, as you could almost see steam coming out his ears, as they were giving the cat cheers.

Drazin: "While Drazin is going to pick up your flea ridden ass, throw you in a garbage bag and chuck you in that river over there. Don't worry Drazin can beat an animal cruelty rap, after all that river is in the U.S. and all Drazin needs is a good lawyer and Drazin will get off with ease."

It was obvious this guy had some kind of grudge against the south, as more and more came out of his mouth. But he was a little funny yet crass, which is why I got back in the car and told Pat to run over his ass.

Cat: "Pat don't worry he'll get out of the way, as even he doesn't want to die today."

So Pat slowly stepped on the gas and thinking this Drazin guy just chucked his huge mass, right in the middle of the road, like a huge truck with a load. There was no getting around, at least not that the cat thought could be found, as I reached over and put the pedal to the floor, preventing Pat from turning any more. Then the Drazin guy just gave a big grin, as we could hear the sound of tin. For he hit the tire spike button he was hiding in his hand and our tires turned into nothing but sand.

Drazin: "Now Drazin has all the cause Drazin needs to throw you two in some deep dark hole, oh boy does Drazin love that."

He just kept grinning ear to ear, having no fear, as he came up to the cats door, the next thing that happened as he swore, for the cat whacked him in the head with the door and then took running on all four, legs that is, in case you needed the quiz. Pat wasn't far behind, as it was all my fault in his mind, but we took off through the trees and avoided some scary bees, then finally made it back home today, so sorry Brian that's why we couldn't get down your way.

Now wasn't that a fun little diddy, but it is quite a pity, that the Cat and poor old Pat, might now be wanted some where, heck maybe there is a bounty on my hair. But then I'd say that Drazin fellow probably couldn't fill out the forms so we're probably safe from the swat swarms.

There now you know where the cat and Pat were, now I'm back home to sit and purr. Even if my story was a bit far fetched and a little stretched, wasn't it a good excuse, or should I used we hid behind a moose? There now you all can have some fun, ready what the cat supposedly done, so on to the comments below, in my usual rhyming glow.

BLOG COMMENTS FROM THE LAST POST
SHOUTING BACK BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST
I'll just thank you all for the Birthday wishes here, as you all did it with a nice cheer. Then I don't have to go to each individual one and won't go on for ever so I can get this done. So thanks a bunch and it's just past lunch. Oh and I got a bunch of presents and money too, just to share with all of you. Although the cats gave me presents in the litter box, I'm not sure that is any better than socks...haha
Brian Miller, Brian Miller
Yes you finally got first, quenching your thirst. As you've been trying to get there for a while, just a tad shy last time with your rhyming style, but you finally won, see that's how it's done. Poor Natasha I fear, seems to be to slow to ever give that cheer..hahaha
Yes it's all Raven's fault for the f*** or maybe I'm just a weird duck, or just both could be it, but who cares because no one has a fit. Least of all you, who just goes sh******it or something like that you know it's true.
Silver Fox, Silver Fox, Silver Fox
Yes I agree moderation is key, so then I can stay all nice and healthy. Unless of course I get hit by a bus or car or train or plane, but I'm good at staying away from each traffic lane. I just slam the age because it's fun, but I try not to do it a ton, as I will be there too, just like you. What I'd say around fifty or so, is that too high or to low? Yes you seem to be hip with the young crowd, you don't even have to talk loud. Although those married women you should steer clear, as they are nothing but trouble I fear.
Don't worry I will always come back, on the rhyme attack, it's just that this takes a bit of time, while on twitter I can do a 140 character rhyme, it mere seconds you see, as it as easy and free. Here it takes a bit of work, but how can I not do a new one knowing you and Betsy lurk.
Yes Betsy can rhyme pretty good, maybe she never knew she could, until she came across this cat, and started to chat.
Betsy, Betsy
Very true you are correct and I would neglect, that attitude makes all the difference as you say, of course staying healthy too one must stay. But other than that the age is just a number, that you can count as you slumber. You were asleep, dreaming a heep, as Brian beat you to the punch, I did have a hunch, that he was justing waiting to get first, as you kept making him lose and he was about to burst. So you were oh so nice, letting him post twice, before you and the Fox came on the attack and each of you didn't lack. And oh it's quite easy not to act like your old, just rhyme through warm and cold, then you'll at least look like a nut, and know one will look at your saggy butt, hahahahahaha oh that just came out, which I was just kidding about..hahahaha
Maybe I should sell a pill for your addiction, to cure that confliction. Then I could get rich or at least stop the rhyming itch. But then why would I want to do that, as you keep coming back being so nice to this cat and even silly old Pat, who never falls flat. Plus since you said pretty please, I decided to appease and didn't wait until tonight, to come up with a new rhyme for your sight.
Natasha
Oh now you are getting all philosophical on the cat, do you really want to confuse poor Pat? While if you must, I'll satisfy your lust, I'd say first was the Hatt, then the name Pat, then came the cat and next up the Face it Facts so take that. Hahahahaha I don't thing virgin and you ears can go together, no matter the weather, as you proved you can dish it out, so don't try and shout, about my little cuss, as you know it doesn't cause a fuss. Yes glad you can say, you aren't nice all day, as that pitchfork can hurt, as you pretend to flirt, then stab some poor guy, in the bum on the fly. Damn that wouldn't tickle, hope your not fickle and get a kick out of that, or the cat will have to hide poor Pat. Also I don't fear, as even in the Tales of Tashtoo you give the Facts a cheer, so you can't be all bad, for that I'm glad. So thanks for the wishes, now I'll go do the dishes.
Raven
Yes the day was swell, but nothing new to really tell. The life of a king, the facts might be able to bring, but until then, I just live the life of men, doing the same of shit, trying not to have a fit. A special someone I do not have as of now, unless you count the cats who at least beat a cow. As the women I meet around here just are out and out nuts, so as said next up could be a dog that sniffs butts. Yes I got a new toy, although I knew so no one had to be coy.
Mary
Wow you were kind of nice, more than twice. What got into you? Do you have the flu? But then you went and said I should be locked up, maybe they'll let me have a tin cup. So I can use it to hold my pills, who knows they might give me thrills. But then I can count on Betsy and the Fox to break me out, as with no new posts they'd pout. Calling me a child too, while at least that means I'm younger than you..hahaha..did I rub that in? Bah it's not to much of a sin. Bah it isn't to rough, although playing with the numbers and seeing the money they get for stuff, makes me want to just steal it and run away, but then I go to jail and wouldn't be able to play. So I won't do that, but I don't know about Pat. So thanks for the wishes and chat, even if you were kind of flat, on the rhyme, this time.
There we go now how was that, did this satisfy your time away from the cat. I will be back as always you see, for you can usually count on me, unless you want me to shovel snow, then far away I might just go. So I don't think I was too crass, but if so that's what you get when you visit my little ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

31 comments:

  1. haha you are a nut cat, my legs are jello, this poor fellow walked the city and now they feel kinda shi**y, but here is your hello, and thanks for the help and attempted trip, that drazzin fellow gave quite a rip, so hopefully monday i'll come away short, if the academy gives a nod and not a retort...drop me your addy and i'' sned you a postcard, easy to do not very hard...now its time for a nap, cause these words wont rap...

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  2. first place again, i win, i win...

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  3. Wow...who was that Drazin guy on border patrol?
    He acted like you abused your parole!
    Must have been that striped hat that caught his attention
    And nothing was going to get you redemption!

    You're right...I never tried rhyming until you came along
    Who knew it could be so much fun!
    Although I think I've caught an addiction
    It's enough to give me some kind of conniption
    When I catch myself speaking in rhyme
    Aloud and alone some of the time!
    I'm glad nobody is a witness
    or they would think I had a sickness!

    Same with Creative Tuesdays and drawing!
    I'd never tried and thought I'd be appalling!
    But it has really been quite fun to create!
    To pull out the pencils and draw something great!

    Now Brian got to comment first again!
    You caught me off guard with that cute little grin
    Saying you would post later tonight
    And then did it sooner, now that's just not right!
    Of course I just kid. You can post when you please!
    And Brian's just so much fun to tease!

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  4. Wow could you tell I was in a bit of a rush
    I know you might have missed the spelling errors due to your rhyming crush
    But I fixed them any way
    As I at least like to spell right what I say
    Drawing and me would never get along
    I'd do better writing a song
    As my stick men look all wrong
    And I'm not high on a bong
    As I can't draw a lick
    My people look like they are sick
    Yes I am starting to rhyme when I'm alone
    I did it once when I picked up the phone
    I don't think they noticed though
    And now I must go
    Oh and Brian is away in New York
    Might even meet the guy who played Mork
    Yet he still beat you, Natasha and the Fox
    That has got to twist your socks

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  5. I've never tried to draw people.
    I think they'd look more like a steeple!
    I stick to things easier, like a bird.
    Now that my Cat, should make you purr.

    I did notice that Brian was in New York!
    I'm thinking about a poem to post
    So I can get a postcard from the Waystation host!

    Did you know that you talk about socks a lot?
    It's something that I've noticed, like in your brain it got caught!
    I laugh every time because I have a private joke
    And giggle until I almost choke.
    So whether you mention them twisted or lost
    or even getting completely knocked off,
    You make me smile just for a minute
    But since it's private, I'm sure you don't get it!

    :)

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  6. Intriguing tale, so bold and brazen.
    Is this the last we'll see of Drazin?

    As for my age, you came quite close,
    So in the future, you may boast.
    To pin it down, I'm fifty-four,
    And 'cause you jest, I don't get sore.

    As far as married women go,
    I step on no proud husband's toe.
    It's more a case of "Look, don't touch,"
    Although I may be tempted... (Much!)

    It's late, and since this sleepy-head
    Is rising early... Off to bed!

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  7. I have to leave just one last thought before I say "adieu."

    And that's a mention of the
    title of your current post.

    I most sincerely must submit my gratitude to you.

    To see my name "in lights" (with Betsy's)! That thrills me the most!

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  8. Oh, that Silver is such a flirt!
    He loves anything that wears a skirt!

    No you don't have to change your locks
    Or guard your windows with cement blocks!
    I just say the phrase 'knock your socks off'
    and the first time you used it I had to cough!
    You've said it several times, in different ways
    like getting them twisted, or lost and such.
    And the coincidence was really too much!

    So keep on saying that little expression
    And I'll keep smiling with each posting session!

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  9. Flattering the Fox and Betsy?
    Makes Tashtoo a little testy :)
    Jealous is as jealous does
    I'm green with envy, you rhyming thug
    And Brian's over in New York
    Treating it like it's his own fort
    Posting on my blog each day
    All the fun he has that way
    And here I sit in overalls
    Waiting to show barns and stalls
    And now you go short story on me
    What's up with that, do you have fleas?
    But honestly, you guys are great
    I look forward to this, hate to be late
    But once again I come up short
    In my post to this report
    Thought the tale was really great
    And Fox and Betsy deserve their place
    In your title, cause I know
    That to their blogs the place to go
    So now dear cat, and Pat, Sir Hatt
    I'll bring to you this Face it Fact
    2 plus 2 does equal four
    Now I'm up and out the door :)

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  10. While you may be slow
    But you prove you can rhyme on the go
    With that big long spiel
    You are the real deal

    Betsy is just going right to town
    But there is no need to frown
    As I will keep using socks
    As the flirts come from Silver Fox
    Just so you can knock people's socks off
    Hope they don't land in a feedin troff

    The fox is also very sly
    And quite the clever guy
    But don't give in to temptation
    Or you may be in court with an allegation.

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  11. Natasha, you're so great, rhyming on the farm;
    Working real estate and rhyming so great!
    All at the same time, too!
    Your life must be a zoo!

    But dear, are you single?
    Maybe you could give Fox a jingle!
    He's sweet as he can be
    and available, too, as you can see!

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  12. Single? I'm afraid not me
    For that was Mom's priority
    To see me off and out the door
    For I refused to mop her floor
    Was never one for domestication
    It's slavery in the Tashtoo nation!
    So hubby does his thing and I do mine
    Which means we get along just fine
    He likes to fish and drink his beer
    I like poetry, love and cheer
    He is rational, I like to dream
    And know the world's not as it seems
    So together we're the perfect fit
    I like to dance he likes to sit
    So guess we'll have to start the game
    To find sly old Silver a brand new flame.
    We'll hold auditions on Cat's blog
    to see who can build a rhyming fog
    And dear old Silver can pick the best
    Once they pass the rhyming test
    Just what would you think of that
    Sir Hatt, or Pat or cat in hat?

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  13. My! That was a real long rhyme
    guess I'm making up for all lost time :)

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  14. Oh look what this has become
    Betsy's become the fix up mom
    Damn maybe she cat help Pat
    As he needs alot of that
    Wait that could be scary
    I'll just stick to the cats that are hairy
    But I'm pretty sure she is taken
    And I don't think I'm mistaken

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  15. Damn IT every one is posting at the same time
    I guess you all just like to rhyme
    Although it's usually just Betsy and me in sync
    Now Natasha is doing it could we have hit the brink?
    If Brian and the Fox does it too
    Then we really will be in a zoo

    Wow Natasha explained her relationship in full
    I think she has all the pull
    But if you turn this into plenty of fish
    I'm going to drive out there and break each and every dish
    Sorry Silver Fox
    I just don't want to get any strange knocks

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  16. Natasha ~ well, of course you are taken,
    You're bright, pretty and I'm not fakin'
    I love your idea of holding auditions!
    Oh Silver will kill us when he hears of our intentions!

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  17. Oh it is SO fun to be commenting to each other
    Even if we're just talking about the weather!
    And at the same time
    We're trying to rhyme!
    Who would have thought it would happen
    And not just once...we're really rappin'

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  18. Oh yes this is quite the rhyme storm
    And yes it is quite out of the norm
    The weather up here is still cold
    Winter is still being bold
    There I talked about the crappy weather
    Now I'll go swat a feather
    But don't expect be to do the shout below
    With everything we do now on the go
    As that would just take for friggen ever
    And the Facts I would get to never
    Maybe the high points if there are any
    Oh I'm sure I can come up with many
    So now around I'll be
    And we shall see
    If there is any more lurking tonight
    Or has Betsy had enough with the rhyming fight

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  19. Rhyming fight?
    I thought it was game!
    Yes, you're rhymes are tight
    and you put us to shame.
    Just wait until The Fox wakes up
    Because then we'll all want to pour a cup
    And see what he has to say
    about Natasha's idea without delay!
    I'm sure he's taking a little nap
    He does that a lot (old people do that!)

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  20. Game just didn't rhyme right
    So I had to use fight
    But if you want it to be a game
    I guess I can give you some fame
    As you are able to keep up quite well
    At least for this little spell
    The Fox needs his beauty sleep
    Heck with that he may need a whole heep
    Then he'd be ready to go for Natasha's plan
    For which I am sorta a fan
    Just to see if it could work
    And who comes to lurk
    Are you speaking about old people from experience or just second hand
    Something you heard throughout the land

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  21. Am I speaking about old people from experience?
    Cute, Cat...Well, I feel old! Does that makes sense?
    Yes, I'm old enough to be your mother,
    So listen to any advise I offer!
    Of course I just kid...you seem to be fine
    And rarely get out of line.
    You sound too busy to get into trouble
    Working so hard in your accounting bubble.

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  22. I guess I can respect my elders
    Even if some are welders
    Yeah really had not much to rhyme there
    But I didn't come up bare
    You an elder does that sound right?
    hahahaha oh I keep things light
    What's even funnier is my accounting bubble
    Is growing quite the stubble
    Because I hardly work much in that
    That is just a way to get money for Pat
    The Face it Facts site takes all the damn work
    As more people are coming to lurk
    Plus this takes some time
    To come up with a post rhyme
    So the internet sucks away my life
    And yes it causes me strife
    Only sometimes though
    As you and the others never make me stub my toe

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  23. Oh please don't call me your elder
    or even some kind of welder.
    That sounds like a senior citizen!
    And although I have a bifocal lens
    I'm not ready to be an old hen.
    I still prefer 'chick' to that!
    And it's true I like to chat
    But not about all of my ailments like old people do.
    And I still have all my teeth to chew!
    LOL!

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  24. hahaha oh now I know what button to push
    When I want to make you jump out of your bush
    The cat hasn't many ailments to speak of yet
    But I'm sure they come as that's a safe bet
    As you can tell the cat can chat alot too
    As I seem to be doing it alot with you
    The rest of them are going to feel left out
    Or be stricken by a rhyming drout
    As we've just surpassed them all
    Maybe you'll get a scary phone call
    Oh and it's good your teeth can still chew
    Taking them out and putting them in a glass is just ewww
    Once the teeth go it will be time for a wig
    Then you'll stand around like a twig
    And use a walker to prop you up
    Maybe even a worker pup
    You'll have to tell me all about it one day
    As you'll get there before me and I'll still be able to play
    hahahahaha oh that was a low blow
    Now I better go

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  25. Oh, you are such a tease!
    Good thing I am nice, you see!
    I plan to live forever,
    so let's just watch the Fox start to shrivel.
    He's the one with the self named 'ancient face'
    So we wouldn't really be putting him in his place
    Now where did everybody go tonight?
    Maybe they're all asleep with no light.
    I think I've had too much caffeine today
    To start to sleep right away.
    But I don't want to wear out my welcome
    Next time I'll keep my comments to 'seldom'.
    Good Night, Cat. Sleep tight!
    And don't let the fleas bite!
    :)

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  26. I think the fox is going to come back at us
    For using him in all our fuss
    Should be interesting to see who goes through all of this
    Then gives us a hiss
    Yes it seems they all went a stray
    Or are probably asleep waiting for night to turn to day
    As we site here and play
    When we should be hitting the hay
    So that is where I'm off to as well
    You're welcome will never be worn out as you are swell
    But Brian I can't really say
    I'f he'll be allowed here every day
    We shall se about that
    Good night from the cat
    Oh and at least fleas I can kill
    Bed Bugs you just give them a thrill
    So I'll take the fleas over those
    And that's just how it goes

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  27. A fellow Canuck?! AWESOME!!!!

    Linking you up from my blog because well, you make my days brighter dammit...:D

    Waving from Hamilton, Ontario eh? (formerly from Ottawa)

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  28. Whilst through my catch-up sleep I was tossing and turning,
    I now know why poor Foxy's ears were a-burning!
    I don't mind a bit that you all have discussed me
    Since you have "conspired" to help -- not to bust -- me.
    A "fix-up committee" that's led by the Cat?
    I
    have to see how you'll all plan to do that!
    If you find me a lass you think perfectly matched,
    Please don't pick a lady
    already attached.
    There are
    some married gals who could get my fires stoked,
    But if hubby finds out, this poor Fox may get choked!

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  29. I never have a problem getting into the States, it's always getting back into Canada. What's with that?

    Now imagine all of that in rhyming iambic pentameter.

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  30. Do I win something for being the last,
    the one who let the most time go past
    before writing back?
    But give me some slack
    I've been sick, lost my voice
    can't speak a lick - had no choice
    But did you think the only way I'd be nice to you
    Was if I came down with a case of the flu?
    I'm really very kind
    I think you will find
    that I'm only a little bit contrary
    like the nursery rhyme Mary.
    And, yes, can't you see
    you're MUCH younger than me
    in fact, Pat Hatt your almost a kitten
    so very young and so very smitten
    with this little rhyme
    you do it all the time
    At least that's the way it seems;
    I wonder, do you rhyme in your dreams?
    So plan and plot and run for the border,
    and make sure your columns are all in order
    and sharpen up your rhyming pen
    cause I hope to 'hear' from you again!
    :o)

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  31. I've just re-read your latest post
    And have for you a minor "roast."
    Your lib'rally-used profanity
    Doth wound this Fox's sanity.
    Dare I suggest, quite caringly,
    It's more profound, used sparingly?

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