But as you all might not know Brian from WaystationOne is up for a shorty award in old New York, the cat would like to go there one day even on a stork, but who knows, we'll see how things goes, as the cat just tried to make the trip and here's a tip, if you come across a Drazin guy, run away or you might cry, as he is really mean and acts like a teen. So here is the tale of how the cat and of course my tag along Pat, tried to go to help Brian win a shorty award in New York, but instead almost got stabbed with a fork.
Oh and the Drazn guy and Pat, didn't rhyme like the cat, so you'll have to excuse these two nuts, as they just don't have the rhyming guts.
Pat and the Cat
Try to get across the Border
It was a day like any other, as the cat and Pat drove up to the border with one another. But things went rather a rye when they met this Drazin guy. For we pulled up to pass and came across this ass. As he asked for all the normal stuff, then started in on us in a big huff.
Drazin: "So why do you two runts want to go to this God forsaken country today?"
With the first words the came from his foul mouth, as we tried to head south. I was going to tell him where to go, but Pat was quick to say no. Then tried to respond all nice, but that Drazin guy did it twice.
Pat: "The cat and I are going to see Brian from WaystationOne win a shorty award, is that ok with you?"
He raised an eyebrow having no idea what the award meant and I was about to steal from Lanie telling him to get bent. Before he once again opened his big trap and went on a big long yap.
Drazin: "So you and this funny looking cat are going to go watch some guy win an award for being short? Only in America Drazin guesses, only in America."
Pat raised his eybrow and look at me, of which I knew that he could see, this guy was talking in the third person, only making our situation worsen. So I blurted something out, to this stupid looking man goat.
Cat: "What don't you shut your mouth and let us pass, you stupid low level toll booth ass."
Pat gave me a glare, as the Drazin guy started to stare and we knew he was going to let us have it now and boy what came out of his mouth did wow.
Drazin: "Did Drazin hear you right? Did you just call Drazin an ass? While no fleabag is going to talk to Drazin like that, get out of the car now fleabag before Drazin comes in there and drags you out."
Pat and I started to get out of the car, as Drazin lifted his bar. He then came to my side, with a huge stride, looking kind of scary and his face was really hairy. But he pointed at Pat to stay in the car as he just wanted me, but I'd take this guy on for free. So Pat just smiled and let us duke it out, as he had little doubt, the cat could handle his own and knock this clown off his thrown.
Cat: "So now what do you want Drazin you clown, you want the cat to make you frown?"
Drazin: "Drazin has to see if you've had all your shots, as Drazin thinks Drazin sees some little green spots. This could mean you have rabies and won't be allowed to cross and Drazin would just love that. Now turn around you stupid looking flea bag, while Drazin looks you over."
Cat: "You want to sniff the cat's but like rover, maybe I'll shit out a four leafed clover. Then it bring you luck and I can be done with this third person talking fuck."
Drazin: "Alright up against the wall fleabag, Drazin is going to see if Drazin can't find that four leafed clover or any other contraban you might have stashed in your body cavity."
My eyes went right wide, as I was hoping he lied, for he slapped a long white glove on his hand and it wasn't long before he was shoving it up the cats no mans land. Pat couldn't even watch, as he went up another notch. Oh that wasn't pretty and made me yelp, but this guy was going to need help.
Cat: "Did you enjoy that you baffoon, as you are nothing but a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Thinking your all big and bad, being a poor deprieved border crossing lad. Sitting in your little square, acting as if it's your big old lair, when really you are nothing but inbred trash, that I hope gets a good rash."
Drazin: "While Drazin seems to have a little smart mouth standing before Drazin, who likes being felt up the ass and who likes to rhyme, and you call Drazin the cartoon, maybe you should look in the mirror poor fleabag. Heck maybe Drazin should let you pass, as you are awful short, then you could win a shorty award too."
Not knowing how dumb he sounded he gave a big laugh which had many confounded. As we were starting to cause a scene as this guy was just getting more mean.
Drazin: "For Drazin is the law in this little section here and if Drazin doesn't want to let you pass, Drazin doesn't have to let you pass."
Cat: "Do you like repeating yourself? Maybe you're broken and need to go back to the factory shelf?"
Drazin: "Alright fleabag, Drazin has had enough off you, access to the south is denied, get back in there with your little bum buddy there and leave, for you ain't getting across. Drazin isn't going to allow it, for you've messed with the Great God Duke Drazin, border crossing expert and what Drazin says goes, so scat you silly looking cat."
Cat: "We're going through, even if it means running over you. So what do you think of that you over exageratted twit, will that cause you to have a fit?"
Some of his co-workers were now laughing at this Drazin guy and liking how the cat was being sly, as you could almost see steam coming out his ears, as they were giving the cat cheers.
Drazin: "While Drazin is going to pick up your flea ridden ass, throw you in a garbage bag and chuck you in that river over there. Don't worry Drazin can beat an animal cruelty rap, after all that river is in the U.S. and all Drazin needs is a good lawyer and Drazin will get off with ease."
It was obvious this guy had some kind of grudge against the south, as more and more came out of his mouth. But he was a little funny yet crass, which is why I got back in the car and told Pat to run over his ass.
Cat: "Pat don't worry he'll get out of the way, as even he doesn't want to die today."
So Pat slowly stepped on the gas and thinking this Drazin guy just chucked his huge mass, right in the middle of the road, like a huge truck with a load. There was no getting around, at least not that the cat thought could be found, as I reached over and put the pedal to the floor, preventing Pat from turning any more. Then the Drazin guy just gave a big grin, as we could hear the sound of tin. For he hit the tire spike button he was hiding in his hand and our tires turned into nothing but sand.
Drazin: "Now Drazin has all the cause Drazin needs to throw you two in some deep dark hole, oh boy does Drazin love that."
He just kept grinning ear to ear, having no fear, as he came up to the cats door, the next thing that happened as he swore, for the cat whacked him in the head with the door and then took running on all four, legs that is, in case you needed the quiz. Pat wasn't far behind, as it was all my fault in his mind, but we took off through the trees and avoided some scary bees, then finally made it back home today, so sorry Brian that's why we couldn't get down your way.
Now wasn't that a fun little diddy, but it is quite a pity, that the Cat and poor old Pat, might now be wanted some where, heck maybe there is a bounty on my hair. But then I'd say that Drazin fellow probably couldn't fill out the forms so we're probably safe from the swat swarms.
There now you know where the cat and Pat were, now I'm back home to sit and purr. Even if my story was a bit far fetched and a little stretched, wasn't it a good excuse, or should I used we hid behind a moose? There now you all can have some fun, ready what the cat supposedly done, so on to the comments below, in my usual rhyming glow.
BLOG COMMENTS FROM THE LAST POST
SHOUTING BACK BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST
I'll just thank you all for the Birthday wishes here, as you all did it with a nice cheer. Then I don't have to go to each individual one and won't go on for ever so I can get this done. So thanks a bunch and it's just past lunch. Oh and I got a bunch of presents and money too, just to share with all of you. Although the cats gave me presents in the litter box, I'm not sure that is any better than socks...haha
Brian Miller, Brian Miller
Yes you finally got first, quenching your thirst. As you've been trying to get there for a while, just a tad shy last time with your rhyming style, but you finally won, see that's how it's done. Poor Natasha I fear, seems to be to slow to ever give that cheer..hahaha
Yes it's all Raven's fault for the f*** or maybe I'm just a weird duck, or just both could be it, but who cares because no one has a fit. Least of all you, who just goes sh******it or something like that you know it's true.
Silver Fox, Silver Fox, Silver Fox
Yes I agree moderation is key, so then I can stay all nice and healthy. Unless of course I get hit by a bus or car or train or plane, but I'm good at staying away from each traffic lane. I just slam the age because it's fun, but I try not to do it a ton, as I will be there too, just like you. What I'd say around fifty or so, is that too high or to low? Yes you seem to be hip with the young crowd, you don't even have to talk loud. Although those married women you should steer clear, as they are nothing but trouble I fear.
Don't worry I will always come back, on the rhyme attack, it's just that this takes a bit of time, while on twitter I can do a 140 character rhyme, it mere seconds you see, as it as easy and free. Here it takes a bit of work, but how can I not do a new one knowing you and Betsy lurk.
Yes Betsy can rhyme pretty good, maybe she never knew she could, until she came across this cat, and started to chat.
Very true you are correct and I would neglect, that attitude makes all the difference as you say, of course staying healthy too one must stay. But other than that the age is just a number, that you can count as you slumber. You were asleep, dreaming a heep, as Brian beat you to the punch, I did have a hunch, that he was justing waiting to get first, as you kept making him lose and he was about to burst. So you were oh so nice, letting him post twice, before you and the Fox came on the attack and each of you didn't lack. And oh it's quite easy not to act like your old, just rhyme through warm and cold, then you'll at least look like a nut, and know one will look at your saggy butt, hahahahahaha oh that just came out, which I was just kidding about..hahahaha
Maybe I should sell a pill for your addiction, to cure that confliction. Then I could get rich or at least stop the rhyming itch. But then why would I want to do that, as you keep coming back being so nice to this cat and even silly old Pat, who never falls flat. Plus since you said pretty please, I decided to appease and didn't wait until tonight, to come up with a new rhyme for your sight.
Oh now you are getting all philosophical on the cat, do you really want to confuse poor Pat? While if you must, I'll satisfy your lust, I'd say first was the Hatt, then the name Pat, then came the cat and next up the Face it Facts so take that. Hahahahaha I don't thing virgin and you ears can go together, no matter the weather, as you proved you can dish it out, so don't try and shout, about my little cuss, as you know it doesn't cause a fuss. Yes glad you can say, you aren't nice all day, as that pitchfork can hurt, as you pretend to flirt, then stab some poor guy, in the bum on the fly. Damn that wouldn't tickle, hope your not fickle and get a kick out of that, or the cat will have to hide poor Pat. Also I don't fear, as even in the Tales of Tashtoo you give the Facts a cheer, so you can't be all bad, for that I'm glad. So thanks for the wishes, now I'll go do the dishes.
Yes the day was swell, but nothing new to really tell. The life of a king, the facts might be able to bring, but until then, I just live the life of men, doing the same of shit, trying not to have a fit. A special someone I do not have as of now, unless you count the cats who at least beat a cow. As the women I meet around here just are out and out nuts, so as said next up could be a dog that sniffs butts. Yes I got a new toy, although I knew so no one had to be coy.
Wow you were kind of nice, more than twice. What got into you? Do you have the flu? But then you went and said I should be locked up, maybe they'll let me have a tin cup. So I can use it to hold my pills, who knows they might give me thrills. But then I can count on Betsy and the Fox to break me out, as with no new posts they'd pout. Calling me a child too, while at least that means I'm younger than you..hahaha..did I rub that in? Bah it's not to much of a sin. Bah it isn't to rough, although playing with the numbers and seeing the money they get for stuff, makes me want to just steal it and run away, but then I go to jail and wouldn't be able to play. So I won't do that, but I don't know about Pat. So thanks for the wishes and chat, even if you were kind of flat, on the rhyme, this time.
There we go now how was that, did this satisfy your time away from the cat. I will be back as always you see, for you can usually count on me, unless you want me to shovel snow, then far away I might just go. So I don't think I was too crass, but if so that's what you get when you visit my little ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.