LAST TIME ON:
The Cat and Pat Run Out of Gas
As Pat and I went to give Natasha a hand, we ran out of gas in no man's land. Then met up with Gung and Ho, why we let them come I still don't know. Pat also went nuts just a little, thinking he was King Arthur acting so funny I almost did a little piddle. Then we went in for some shelter in a barn and that's when that Drazin fellow started his big yarn. So the cat stepped on a seal, then things got real and noises were heard, not that of an owl or any other bird. What came next was a little scary, I wish it would have been some magic fairy.
The Cat and the Group Look Like Soup
The dirt in the field starting to move, really cramping everyone's groove, as the moon shined bright, helping to further light the starry night. Then heads started coming from the ground and lord and behold it was zombies we had found.
PAT: "Zombies? Really? Aren't they a bit over done?"
GUNG: "Hey at least it's better than teenage vampires in some love triangle."
HO: "Or that other show that just throws in nude scenes to get attention."
GUNG: "Wait a minute Ho I kind of like that one, after all those scenes make it all worth while."
HO: "Gung I bet you pause the good parts huh?"
DRAZIN: "Would you two nuts shut the hell up, Drazin will make you two zombies if you don't."
The zombies continued to rise, wanting to eat these guys, but all they could do was argue like they were fighting over who got to go to the loo. But then my eyes grew kind of wide, as the zombies starting taking great stride. These ones were kind of wierd, still they should be feared.
HO: "Look Gung, that zombie has a Disneyland cap, that one over there is dressed in a tutu, that one over there has no clothes at all, not cool."
GUNG: "That one has electricity coming from his ears, that one can breathe fire and that one, well that one just looks hungry."
After talking about the zombies a few seconds more, in they came on those four, well the cat hid in the back, hoping to avoid any attack.
PAT: "Come on Great God, smite them with a thunderbolt or something."
DRAZIN: "Shut up, the Great God Drazin doesn't show off Drazin's powers to mortals."
PAT: "Isn't that convenient."
As they backed up there was a loud girlie shriek, as if this night had already hit its peak.
HO: "Gung ones got me, get it off, get it off."
As we looked down Ho had backed up into a stick, poking his leg less than a woodtick. They all laughed as the cat jumped for higher ground, hoping I would never be found. As one of the zombies got up close, with his hat resembling Mickey Mouse. Drazin picked up the stick and shoved it through his eye, but he just kept coming as he didn't want to die. Although I guess he was already dead, so he figured he had to chop of his head. Then came a battle cry and I only wish it were a lie.
ARTHUR: "Let us smite these evil demons and send them back to the bowels of the underworld from which they came."
For Pat had gone nuts once more, off in la la land referencing Arthur lore. But he had found an axe in the crumbled barn's remains, so I figured let him be a nut and cause the zombies some pains. The Mickey Mouse one quickly lost its noggin and then Pat or Arthur, who ever, took off jogging. He sliced through a few and then Drazin stared at you know who. As he hadn't forgotten why he came, even if I knew he was pretty lame.
He began to climb the rubble, scratching his goatee stubble, bent on hurting the poor cat, but like a dirty little rat, a zombie came and grabbed his boot, giving a grunt and a hoot. He went to bite Drazin's leg, then got smothered by a bag. As Gung slapped a plastic bag over his face, hoping his eating intentions it would erase.
HO: "Ummm Gung?"
HO: "Do zombies even breathe?"
The zombie ate through the bag and without any lag, whipped around to snack on Gung, he thought his noose was hung. Then Drazin kicked the zombie in the neck, giving it a second peck, laughing as it fell off onto the ground and the body fell into the rubble mound. It seemed he thought this was fun, as he told me we weren't done. Then jumped down from the pile, shouted something most vile and sprang across the field, with only his fists to wield.
DRAZIN: "Look Drazin found a walking lighter. Maybe Drazin could use him to cook Drazin up a furball."
He laughed thinking it was quite funny, but I couldn't see where it was for no money. Then he let the zombie breathe fire at him and I have to admit now I thought he wasn't so dim. For he simply stepped aside and the fire went quite far and wide, burning at dozen or so zombies to ash, then he gave the zombie a bash. He knocked it to its knees and then he began to freeze. As a zombie from behind could breathe ice, that wasn't very nice.
He was about to get burned when Arthur chopped off the fire breathers head, oh how I still wished I were home in bed. Gung and Ho had found a rope and as the ice zombie began to grope, thinking Drazin was a tasty meal, making me kind of glad I hit the seal, they each took a side and with one big stride, wrapped the rope around his neck, giving a pull turning him into a wreck. As his head went snap, crackle pop and was no longer on top.
HO: "Kellogg's Rice Krispies."
GUNG: "Ho did you really just say that? I'll never be able to eat them again."
ARTHUR: "The scurge have gone back to wence they came. Deianeria would be so proud."
GUNG: "Ho wasn't that Hercules?"
HO: "Gung yeah I think so. Maybe after a few thousand years things get scrambled."
DRAZIN: "Now you damn fur ball where was Drazin? Oh yes Drazin was about to turn you into a hat."
HO: "Gung I think that be Davy Crockett."
DRAZIN: "Shut up you two morons or you'll make matching slippers for Drazin."
They all turned there sights back on me, Drazin wasn't about to let me flee. Then all of a sudden the body parts started to move, completely ruining everyone's groove. They began sticking together, I think I even saw a feather, and before we knew it a zombie bigger than a house, had formed looking all gross.
It shot fire at Pat who blocked it with is axe, but that slowly turned to wax. It froze Gung and Ho in their tracks, for it seemed to have the power of many different zombie acts. Drazin began to convulse on the ground, as electricity seemed to abound. Pat then got sent flying by a whirlwind of sort, sending him off into the trees after a few zombie snorts. Then it set its sights on me and obviously all I did was flee.
I ran for what seemed like forever, for I wasn't stopping, no way, never. Of course that would mean there was always land or at least some sand. But sadly there was none, as I ended up on a huge cliff thinking I was done. That damn zombie thing was right on my heels, it's like it had wheels. But I remembered a certain film reel I had seen with Pat, where there was a Yippee Kay Yay Mother F**ker and a guy went splat. So hoping the zombie had no brain, a little bit of a lead I did regain. So I made him go faster as well, which was really swell, for as I came up on the cliff, I gave the zombie thing one last whiff, letting him think I was caught, which I was not. Then at the last second I turned right and some cloud cover helped make it more dark at that moment during the night, so maybe he just didn't see, but unlike me, he didn't turn at all and that led to a great big fall.
As the zombie thing was crushed, spiked and flattened on the rocks, maybe he could have stopped sooner if he was wearing socks? He then got washed out to sea, all the parts that had been dismantled thanks to me. I breathed a sigh of relief and went back, as Pat was the only one standing and that's a fact. Well Gung and Ho were standing too, but they were quite frozen between me and you. The Great God himself was passed out like a dinky little elf and after Pat got Gung's arm free, we decided it was time to flee. For we had, had enough excitement for one night and it was beginning to become light. We then walked into the rising sun, knowing we had won.
So Natasha if you ever sell a house with a barn that's no more and some zombie guts laid out on the shore, you now know the tale and I'm sure you can repeat it without fail.
Now after all of that you might need a good rant, thankfully at The Lair of Silver Fox ideas he will plant. Then you could always go to WaystationOne, but I know you don't want to run. So have fun at my place before you go and that is all today from my show. Of course you must go join the let Face it Facts, so go, get make tracks. Know even if there are zombie guts in the grass, I am still a little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.