Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Went All To Hell, Shhhh Don't Tell!

Well you know some bloggers cheat, yet it's still neat and have posts in advance, to cover their stance. Forcing themselves to write a whole bunch, sometimes skipping lunch, one day of the week, until they reach their peak. Sorry the cat can't do that and I blame it on Pat. As his ocd tendencies won't let him just have something sit and wait, he has to get it done and off his plate.

So now you once again know more than you needed to know about Pat, thanks to the clever cat. Anyway what was the point in my little shout, well it wasn't to gloat. As I had a lot of ideas flowing through me head and want to get rid of them before bed. Plus I had three days before the end of April I had to use or else those days I would lose. So for the rest of the week I'm on vacation from work, so now I can do the lets facts and lurk. Plus catch up on some movies and stuff, but not before I huff and I puff. As today I really did go to hell and as I warning I will tell, I might cause you to waste an hour or two, but I know that won't bother some of you. So with out further adieu, here is all the stuff I needed to get out of my head from me to you.

So whoops I did it again, this time for My Five Men. Oh you thought I forgot all about this did you? Well that's one thing I don't normally do. As I have a mind like a trap and can flap my yap, but always remember most things, even if sometimes it takes a few minutes before the bell rings, causing me to recall, what it was I did last fall. Anyway without further delay, here is the latest one I did today.

Oh Fox was that a tear or was it a cheer? Yes you can show it to one and all, even take it to the mall. But don't just sit in your Silver Fox Lair and play it over and over with some glare. That isn't healthy for some one your age, might cause fits of rage..hahaha.

So I'm always going from place to place, showing my rhyming face and two I keep coming across, that leave me for a loss. As they both see the same picture yet their words aren't the same, WaystationOne of course is one I can name. As Brian goes way out there and relates it in a way one wouldn't think, sometimes with a sly little wink, to certain activities that leave you bare and if someone out of the blue saw they might stare. But I won't go there and ruffle any hair, head or butt or hair on the gut, I'll leave it all alone, and just throw him a bone.

The other is of course the Tales of Tashtoo, where once again Natasha surprises me and you. With sequels to tales and peoms by the pails, as well as a video or two, as she has a whole slew. Yet she uses the same picture as Brian and comes out a tryin, making it an original work so great, even when I show up late. So the moral of rant number two is I guess, I'm going to throw my hat into this mess. So here I go with show number two, for each and every one of you.

Well hmph I finally had some time and checked out old onestoppeotry today, all ready to play and they switched to story mode I see, well the cat strayed away like a busy bee, as others and the cat don't play together well, as sometimes the cat doesn't watch each word he must spell, plus Twitter and I need a break, as after all the crap I do with that I just want to drown it in a big ass lake, which is what it would take, but a tale I can make.

First I have to say, that if my cats get old and slow one day, I'll always have a way to scare the rats, as one of the pictures of the one stop hats, is of poor old Brian's mug, hahaha sorry had to give that a tug. So Brian you keep smelling that manure as now the cat takes the floor, for act number two, really is quite the zoo, but unlike your little tale, that starts in a barn and hay bail, the cat ends up there, again some don't rhyme and are mean, strange and down right nuts so BEWARE!

The Cat and Pat Run Out of Gas

Natasha had been avoiding the cat, due to moving and all of that, so one evening after dinner, Pat suggested a real winner. As he has moved tons of times, so without any rhymes, he suggested we go help her move fast, so her avoidance wouldn't last.

After a slight bitch and moan, and trying to pretend I was on the phone, we hopped in the car, I was just glad we didn't have to travel far. As I dreaded our last trip, when we ran into that Drazin dip, but the border we wouldn't go near, yet I still had a slight fear, like this shouldn't be done, as it wasn't going to be much fun.

A few honks and middle fingers later on our drive, things started to take a dive, as once the city was in our rear view mirror left eating our dust, everything began to go bust. For silly old Pat had forgot to fill the tank and we were stuck on some back water road smelling something awful rank. I think it was cow manure, but I couldn't be sure, as it was coming from every direction, I thought at least if cows like their own smell they'll surely get an erection. Yes I know it was a dirty thought, but I really didn't want to go for a trot.

Two long hours had passed and not a single soul had amassed, the sun was also beginning to set and I started to fret. As coyotes, bobcats and bears oh my, could come out and make me die. I pleaded a bit with Pat and after a little chat, he locked the car door and off we went once more. Although I wished we never did and no I do not kid. For things literally go to hell in this tale I'm about to tell.

PAT: "Look cat someone dropped some money on the side of the road."

Greed ridden Pat stated as he saw something shiny, that was quite tiny. He jumped down into the ditch, without a hitch and grabbed the object, bringing it back up to me so we could reflect. But as he grasped it tight, try as he might, his hand would not come undone, seconds later when it did he fell to the ground twitching like he was shot by a gun.

CAT: "Pat you dead? Why couldn't you let me stay in bed?"

I checked his pulse to see if he was alive and it could be felt beating like a sharp knive. Then suddenly he awoke right fast, as I was hoping it didn't last. Pat shook his head up and down, squashing his face into a frown, trying to figure out what just occurred, he muttered a bit to see if his speech was slurred, but everything seemed well, that is until. He got up and we started down the road side and lets just say my eyes got wide.

ARTHUR: "Where are we my friendly feline? Has that dastardly three headed dragon scurried off into the bush?"

My jaw dropped, as I never thought Pat's stupid antics could be topped, but this, this was right out of some side show, like down freak row.

ARTHUR: "Well my four legged friend, what is the battle we have set course for this time? Sirens? Gods? Bedding a wench?"

CAT: "Ok Pat it's time you shut up about that, leave la la land, boy this is the last time I try to give Natasha a hand."

Pat looked around like he thought I was talking to a third party, then scolded me like I was being tarty.

ARTHUR: "Who is this Pat character you speak of? Is he the foe we seek? Never fear as the great King Arthur will slay the dastardly demon."

CAT: "King Arthur right, have you been drinking stuff that wasn't alcohol light?"

Pat stopped in his tracks, once again shaking his head like he was host to two acts.

PAT: "Wait what just happened?"

CAT: "Finally you can stop being all loony and cartoony, so now can we get out of here, as night has fallen and being eaten I fear. Wait must I bow before the king and maybe kiss your ring?"

Pat looked at me like I was the crazy one and off we walked which I swear was a ton, seeing trees after trees and oh my poor knees. Then finally we happened upon two odd ducks, yes they were quite the schmucks. As one was as large as a house, well the other looked the exact same but was as small as a mouse. They stood on the side of the road with their thumbs in the air, not having a single care. As obviously they hadn't seen a car for hours, as we've had better luck watching the flowers, grow to a huge height, anyway at first I thought they might bite. We gave them a nod and went to pass, but before we knew it they were on our ass.

GUNG: "What to you think Ho? Should we allow these two fellows the pleasure of our company?"

HO: "Sure Gung, as they look like they could use some swell fellows like us."

PAT: "No offense guys, but we've had our fill of weird for one night, so go back to twiddling your thumbs on the side of the road."

CAT: "Yeah you heard him beat it before I have a fit."

The pair looked at each other, with their eyebrows raised like they were thinking oh brother.

GUNG: "You calling us weird when you travel with a talking, rhyming cat? Well Ho what about that?"

HO: "Gung I think they just can't stand our awesome might. As the power of Gung Ho as a team is just to much for them."

PAT: "Hear that Cat? We are being followed by Gung and Ho and together they are Gung Ho, wow I must say that is definitely creative."

CAT: "Well we don't want to chat, so scat, before I squash you flat or maybe I'll leave that to Pat."

GUNG: "That rhyming stuff is so amazing Ho, I have to give it a try. We a Gung Ho and we will show, that Gung and Hung and Ho is kind of...slow?"

HO: "No way Gung, Ho is your bro, better than your toe, in a row, needs to go, like a good bow, hell I don't know."

GUNG: "Wow it's harder than it looks, maybe we should keep trying, as that makes perfect right Ho?"

These two morons went on about this for what seemed like forever and no they were no where near clever. But they kept following us like flies on shit, at least we didn't get bit. But I figured I'd let them follow some, as I saw Deliverance and didn't really want anything stuck up my bum. Then it was like they were getting in Pat's head and he began to shake once more, as I realized what was it store. It had to be that stupid shiny thing found down in the ditch, making him one crazy son of a bitch.

ARTHUR: "Foul creatures brought forth by satin himself, be gone with the pair of you."

Gung and Ho just sat and watched giggling, some things on the rather large Gung were actually jiggling. That was a sight no one wants to see, not even me. There are just some things you can't use to make fun, as you want them out of your brain and undone. But worst of all, Pat had a stick and was having a ball, acting as if it was a sword, poking at Gung Ho until they go bored and slapped it away, thank God Arthur didin't stay.

PAT: "Ummm what was that all about?"

GUNG: "Look Ho he has multplie personalities, isn't that awesome?"

HO: "Hey maybe my alternate personality is Merlin and we could be a team you think?"

I slowly think Pat was becoming aware of what was going on, but figured he'd deal with that come dawn, right now we had to get off the street, as all of us were beat. Ho pointed out a light from across a field, as Pat went nuts once more and was using a piece of old cardboard, found on the road, as a shield. So with the two weirdos in toe and nut job Pat running to and fro, off we went for the barn, as I stated when I began this yarn. But just when I thought things couldn't get worse, I opened the door and out came a curse.

DRAZIN: "Finally fleabag, you have come back into the sight of the Great God Duke Drazin and Drazin will not let you escape this time, your ass is Drazin's. As Drazin is going to skin you and use you as a hat."

Once more I found myself staring at this clown, except this time he looked just a little bit down, basically he looked like a bum, who had no more rum. Then he grabbed me by the scruff of the neck, as I gave his nose a good deck. He dropped me and then gave me a look, like straight out of some deranged book. His eyes began to glow red, at least they gave us some light so it wasn't all bad.

DRAZIN: "You made Drazin lose Drazin's job, so now Drazin travelled all this way for revenge. Thanks for saving Drazin the rest of the trouble of tracking you down though."

He laughed like some over the top super villian, well Gung Ho sat by the door chillin and Pat finally came in the barn door, jaw almost dropping to the floor. Then he once again began to shake and started to partake.

ARTHUR: "Hell spawn, if only I had the great Excaliber by my side, then I'd send you back to the underworld and I'd steal from the rich and give back to the poor."

GUNG: "Ho wasn't that Robin Hood?"

HO: "Yeah Gung I think it was, do you think he has more personalities in there?"

DRAZIN: "Awww did Drazin scare you so bad the last time you met Drazin that you went into a loonie bin type state poor Pat?"

ARTHUR: "Who is this Pat of which you speak? For I, King Arthur, will smite thee with by bare hands."

CAT: "Pat errrm ummmm Arthur you aren't really helping your cause, standing around like your waiting for an applause. Also Drazin you big over sized mook, you're as much of a God as I am a nuke. Gung and Ho you two are nuts and smell like a couple of butts."

I had enough and let them have it, throwing a typical fit, but that was a bad idea, for they surrounded me I fear. They backed me into a corner horse stall, then I stepped on something and the whole barn began to shake and fall. I swept the hay away from me feet and there was this symbol that looked kind of neat. It sunk into the ground, like a switch I had found and everyone ran out of the barn fast, I was the last. As I just escaped before it all fell flat, squashing this cat.

Yet when the dust cleared, it was as I feared, I was still standing infront of the nut Pat, Gung who was quite fat, Ho who just didn't know and Drazin the mouthy man, who really needed a tan. A full moon shined down upon us on that faithful night, when noises could be heard giving me quite the fright. As the sight to be seen, could turn even the most brave cat green.


TO BE CONTINUED...........

There was my story moment for the week, so if it's any more profound you seek. Go play in Lanie's soapbox and holds on to your socks, I mean that for sure this time, as she did quite the chime, about clutter, made me mutter, about how stupid some people can be, when they see the word almost free. I mean having enough toilet paper to last forty years, if anyone gives that cheers, I'll smack you upside the head, but don't worry I'll make sure you were well fed.

So now on to rant number three, actually it isn't a rant just something from me. As I thought I'd give you all some work, as you come here to lurk. Plus maybe keep you amused, for I wouldn't want you to feel to abused. Anyway here is my little concoction out of the blue, from me to all of you. Do you have the resolve, to sit and solve?


WARNING - thanks to Betsy know dumb blogger messed it up and number 6 is cut short, hint it starts with super..lol and doesn't have duper.

ACROSS 3. Follow the Tracks, And That's The Lets Face it (5)____________
4. Owner of an Act that is Spooky, While I'm Kooky (5)____________
6. Atrotcious and Precosious (34)_______________
10. Owner Won an Award, I Know Bored (13)___________
12. This Girl, Came To Rhyme for a Whirl (5)__________
14. The Real Name, Of The Cat Seeking Fame (5)___________
16. Lucky Feet, House Trained Which is Neat (6)________________
17. Place at the Facts, For Many Acts (9)__________
19. Oldest for Last, He Might Put Your Knees in a Cast (9)____________
20. Comes in a Bucket, Could Also Chuck It (7)__________
DOWN 1. There are Five in Her Hive (5) __________
2. I Swear and Don't Care (5)___________
5. Can Spin a Tale, The Size of a Whale (7)_____________
7. Take a Walk, With Hitchcock (6)______________
8. In a Baby Sleeper, So Not to Make Her Cut Deeper (6)_____________
9. Used to Rhyme with Fox, At My Box (5)__________________
11. Counting Others Money, Not Funny (10)_______________
13. Silver Hairs, Favorite MeMe at His Lair (7)_______________
15. Rather Crude Fellow, He Can Bellow (6)_____________
18. It's Time, Not Crime (5)______________

Answers below, away you go!

Ok this one I made rather easy and maybe a tad cheesy, but if you get stuck and down on your luck, just ask for the answer below and I might let you know. Or maybe I'll just keep you in suspense, as your nerves become immense and you just can't get that one word, cursing and flipping me the bird. So there was the third act of my spiel, don't I just keep things real? Also I had to put a few letters in the puzzle, as blogger once again was being stupid and needed to be put in a muzzle.

Anyway after all the work I did on this post, I deserve to sit back and roast, each and every one of you, that comes by my rhyming zoo. So when you are finally through reading my huge mass, you'll still consider me a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Wow! What a nice surprise to see Nugget and the rest of the clan
    on your video plan!
    How very cleverly done, too,
    By the very talented you!
    I still think that is your voice
    making all of that noise.
    Thanks Pat for all of that work.
    That made me smile while you give a smirk.
    Having had a couple really hard weeks
    It's so nice to laugh until my knees go weak.

    Wow, now that was some story!
    sounds like you got lost in a quarry.
    I'm sure Natasha will appreciate
    your intent to alleviate
    all the work it takes in moving
    while her location she was improving!

  2. Damn you really are getting great with the rhymes
    Guess it pays off to do them tons of times
    Glad the video was appreciated by you
    As it was fun to do
    How could I not though
    As you show off the Fact it Facts with such glow
    At your blog wall
    Giving me a good call
    But nope not my voice
    Although if I had the choice
    I'd do it myself
    Just need the good software stuff on my shelf
    Sorry to hear about the hard weeks
    Glad I could help give you a few happy tweaks

    Yeah at least we tried
    And no one died
    At least no yet
    Maybe that Drazin guy will just get
    Who knows what will come
    Of the nut, gung ho and that bum
    We shall see
    Now off I go to get people to lower the score of me..hahaha

  3. This is what I have to look forward to
    Dare I ask for help from you? :)
    I'd love to ask, but your booked
    Getting fellows rhymers hooked
    Love the tale and the video
    My Five Men's the place to go!
    Thanks again for the mention
    I'll be back for more attention!
    Until next time
    Hope all stays fine :)

  4. I got the crossword done
    all except one
    number 6 across
    is making me cross
    I feel at a loss!

    But don't spill the beans just yet.
    Let others try before the answer you let
    slip out here before they have a chance
    to do a little victory dance!

  5. Yes rhymers seem to get hooked
    Then the lets Face it Facts has me booked
    Up the bum with work
    But I still find time to lurk
    Yeah I'm sure you like the attention
    I'll never put you in detention
    Always giving you a shout
    As I rhyme and gloat

    hahahaha that's the one I threw in for fun
    Just to see if anyone could get it done
    You really have to think in rhyme for that
    Or know something that is addictive to Pat
    Plus I wanted a long word
    And I couldn't use bird
    I'm won't tell for a while
    As I'll hide out in my typical rhyming style
    Then let you have the answers you need
    If you beg and plead..lol

  6. number 6 you say has 34 dots
    but there are only 18 spots
    I think I know the word
    but the spacing is absurd!

  7. Well damn the stupid blogger screwed that up too
    No wonder if couldn't be got by you
    I fixed it with the length but never tried
    Fixing it to make it more wide
    Although I don't think it work
    Stupid thing doesn't have enough room and is a jerk
    Hmmph, guess that one will have to be ignored
    Or fill in the extra's if you get bored
    Dumb blogger cut it off
    Maybe I should drown them in a troff..lol

  8. haha..OK, then I knew it all along!
    yes, blogger can make you swear instead of singing a song!
    That was fun dear Cat
    except that last spat
    almost caused me to throw a fit
    and be like you a little bit!

  9. and thanks again for the video blip
    nugget looks cute on your little clip

    you'll miss me tomorrow as I have to work
    and won't be around here to snoop and lurk

  10. heck i am late, i was busy,
    so cool you doing a vid-Betsy
    and talk about your wiles to entertain
    you gave us much today to stretch our brain,
    a story with gung and ho,
    no relation i know, but funny just the same
    and a word puzzle game, no way are you lame
    props to the cat and his ever loving hat.

  11. haha sorry about that
    Stupid blogger once again fell flat
    Don't want you to throw a fit
    Then you leave me without a way to keep my fire lit
    As I need the fits to have something to rant about
    Or maybe to sit and gloat

    No problem at all
    Or course Nugget is cute as I stole the pictures from your stall..lol
    Don't think you'd put a bad one up
    Well maybe of a butt sniffing pup
    Awww got to go do auction stuff
    I guess I'll have to huff and puff
    With work on the facts
    To keep me occupied with none of your rhyme comebacks

  12. You're not that late
    Over to my rhyming gate
    I was a tad late at your place as well
    But shhh don't tell
    Yes look what being on vacation can do
    Rack the brains more of all of you..haha

  13. (Actually, I've been suspecting the existence of multiple personalities for a while, heh, heh...)

  14. Well I'm back from a day on at the auction block
    And I tell you that chant is isn't baby talk!
    I don't have to actually do it
    They train at a special school for that.
    But I have to be able to decipher what they say
    and log it in a computer throughout the day.
    Then take care of bidders as they register and pay.
    So I get to count lots of money
    and smile and act all sunny
    and engage in some chit chat, too.
    Thankfully this isn't hard for me to do
    as I'm usually cheerful and never do an angry walk
    after being awakened by the alarm clock.

    So how was your day, Pat and Cat?
    I hope it didn't fall flat
    and you had a swell day
    work for Pat and for Cat all play. :)

  15. Yep just one more personality to add
    To this growing fad
    Pat's head has to be full of clutter
    Listening to each one mutter

    Did you auction away a lot of cool stuff
    Did anyone miss out and get in a huff
    That must be an interesting school
    Be kind of cool
    To watch for a minute or two
    Then the ears would be talked off of me and maybe you
    You must be able to type fast
    As what they say is really fast and maybe vast
    Get to play with others money
    Yep not to funny
    Especailly when it's so tempting to take and run
    Then find a beach and lie in the sun
    I'm sure you can chit chat away
    All through the day

    Pat worked out for three hours or so
    Well the cat just ran to and fro
    Meowing and knocking crap over
    Worse than any rover
    Then just laid around in front of the tv
    Being as lazy as can be
    Until now when the work must be done
    Ruining all my fun

  16. Oh there's usually at least one that get's their nose out of joint
    insisting we missed the point
    And entered the wrong amount
    and begin to pout
    Saying they don't owe that much money
    And have a fit (put that in there just for you!)and don't think we are a bit funny.
    But most of the people are very nice
    And don't argue with the price
    remembering what they bid
    instead of popping their lid.

  17. Yes there will always be those
    Who think they don't owe
    And should get it for less
    Creating a mess
    Been there dealt with that
    Not fun for poor old Pat
    But if their on the phone I can go click
    And hang up on them for being a, well, dick..lol
    The not remembering what you bid excuse
    Is kind of loose
    As your the one that put up the sign, finger or whatever
    So unless you aren't very clever
    You are just trying to get out of paying what you bid
    Then when you don't get away with it pretend you just kid
    By you I mean them of course
    As they show their fake remorse..lol

  18. Hey you have been there?
    Yes, they can be a bear!
    But I can take it.
    They think they can intimidate
    But I just don't take the bait!
    I look all nice and sweet
    but I'm not going to take their heat!

  19. When you were a kid, did you play the game Jinx?
    Where you and a friend say the same word at the same time...and if you say 'Jinx!' really quick the friend can't speak until you say so?

    Well, does that apply to blog comments?
    Being on each other's at the same moment?
    Because it keeps happening
    and it would be fun to say Jinx and
    keep you quiet
    until I was tired of the silence.

  20. Yeah sometimes I just let it go in one ear and out the other side
    Even if they lied
    As they can spout all day
    But they'll never get their way
    They owe what they owe
    So just pay it and go

    hahaha yeah I played that
    But you can never stop the rhyming chat
    As you can jinx me all you want
    But I'll still be around to haunt
    As this is typing not talking
    Plus I'm sitting and not walking
    So it wouldn't apply
    I'm just to much of a clever guy

  21. good night Cat, your chat is where it's at. :)

  22. I hope you will be publishing the answer to your puzzle ...
    What on earth rhymes with puzzle, other than muzzle?

  23. @Alan: "Guzzle." A long-time pub-goer like yourself should have thought of that, or don't they use that word in the U.K.? :)

  24. I didn't say jinx to you
    Because that would make you go into a stew
    As not being able to talk
    Is like the same as not being able to walk
    At least for you
    Didn't think I knew?...lol

    No problem Alan I'll post them below
    Right after I answer your question at my show
    As the Fox is right about guzzle
    But there is also nuzzle

    1. Betsy
    2. Raven
    3. Facts
    4. Scott
    5. Tashtoo
    6. supercalifragilisticexpialidocious
    7. DeeDee
    8. cassie
    9. socks
    10. WaystationOne
    11. accounting
    12. ocean
    13. nothing
    14. orlin
    15. drazin
    16. nugget
    17. factinary
    18. rhyme
    19. Silver Fox
    20. chicken

  25. Cartoon purists may want to add "druzzle," as used in the Tooter Turtle segments from the early 1960s King Leonardo and His Short Subjects series:

    "Drizzle, drazzle, druzzle, drome; time for zis one to come home."

    Hm. Sounds like something Pat would have written!

  26. hahahaha yes it does sound like something written by me
    but couldn't be because you see
    I wasn't even born
    Unless I went back in time and the space time continum got torn
    Plus you got me stumped there
    I know moves and tv from here, there and everywhere
    But never heard of that
    Guess something new was learned by Pat

  27. If one thinks of beer , then one thinks to guzzle
    I think that can rhyme with puzzle :)

  28. There's also a computer game called "Chuzzle," no relation to Dickens' Martin Chuzzlewit, I assume...

    King Leonardo was produced by the same studio which later gave us Tennessee Tuxedo (which you may have heard of) and Underdog (which I'm sure you've heard of). And all of that crap is stuff that's rattling in my ancient brain without doing an internet search!

  29. Guzzling beer would make some cheer
    But it's nasty to this cat I fear
    Although most things food wise are
    Plus done with the whole nasty ass bar..lol

    Chuzzle, never heard of that
    Another new one to Pat
    The other two yes I knew
    That were rolling around in the brain of you

  30. It seems like I just stopped by,
    but now I realize days have passed by
    they all just seem to fly
    faster than I can keep up
    like spinning round in a tea cup.
    Wow, that's quite the adventure you had
    but it wasn't every bit of it bad
    and all in all it was quite funny
    at least you didn't get attacked by a rabid bunny!

  31. Yes it does fly
    As can be attested to by this guy
    For been to busy to post
    Not being a very nice host
    But yes the adventure isn't over yet
    A rabid bunny might be a sure bet..lol