Tuesday, May 31, 2011

A Bit Of An Exaggeration From My Inspiration!

So now that May is almost through and I proved I'm not a liar to all of you. As I said I wouldn't go profound any more until the end, but now I'll once more go around that bend. So I can add my ten cents, even if I sound dense, to the onestoppoetry way, for their little Wednesday poetry play.

So here we go once more, profound at my shore. Wait a second I have nothing to tell, hmmmm what the hell. Oh yes that is why I evoked MSN to give me a rhyme or ten. As Pat has that set to his homepage, too lazy to set it to a different cage. So what I did was open the internet and poof my needs were met. Just took the words that I seen and went all nice and mean. Yes I can do both at the same time, so here is this profound old rhyme.

In The News, You Lose!

Man saves cat in tree found on page twenty two
So called famous guy cheats found right in plain view
Oh an ad for a Mcdonalds snack
Have to place that up top like a plaque

Wait then there is weightloss below
One helping the other which they hope you don't know
Oh breaking news man saves child from drowning in lake
Flip the page to partake

As a stepmom faces charges in a boy's death
Oh and it's double the length
Wait move the saving story on down
As Meg Ryan could be getting married causing single men to frown

Cellphone use may be linked to cancer
Oops that story was submitted by prancer
As Santa must have made him do that
For the big cell phone companies will make that study fall flat

Oh and look star style is right in plain sight
After all we have to know what they wore the other night
A hiker has also seen bigfoot she claims
Yeah and the other day I, the lochness monster and a Pokemon were playing games

Wait there are some sizzling summer bikinis
I'll look as long as they don't show any weenies
Food crisis also once again looms
But oh it's shoved below in favor of killer brooms

An important questions is also answered today
As no babies are coming Will and Kate's way
Man saving child just moved down ten more pages
As some psycho had some fire rages

Of course What He's Hiding From You needs to be seen
Because lets face it all men fit into the category of unclean
And makeup tips have to be there
As we wouldn't want you to have one split hair

Oh and look someone died
And you gave a boo hoo and cried
Yet never even met or knew
Just have to feel apart of the same crowd by pretending it's untrue

So no matter the good that is done
It seems in the news the bad has won
Or the ever relevant celebrity hairdos
In the News, You Lose

Hmmm didn't intend for that, I just sort of fell into that chat. Damn I'm good, of course unlike Brian not so good at going all in the hood, but I can still do the usual rhyming matter, so screw the later. I will now depart with little sass, except to say you'll never see a bikini on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Today I'm a Copy Cat And a Dirty Rat!

So after seeing all this food over at a certain blog, I decided I'd cross into that bog and give you a taste of my best dish, nope it isn't fish. Oh this is going to scare and maybe curl your neck hair...hahaha I love it I must say, going to be an interesting post today. So I want to get this right, so I went to a certain blog for insight. As I have to explain it all so you don't get it wrong, plus I wouldn't want you to take too long because after a while it just looks even more vile.

The Cat's Secret Souffle For One And All At My Way

So with these special directions, you won't need any other suggestions, just follow closely to what I state and you'll thank the cat for what you just ate.

1. Go over to the couch and duck down into a crouch.
2. Leap up and claw the crap out of it, like you're having a fit.
3. Make sure your claws are good and sharp, enough to slice the strings on a harp.
4. Use the loo, incase you have to sit and stew.
5. Now find some good long grass and make sure it can hide your little or big ass.
6. Perk up your ears and listen for cheers.
7. Play the waiting game, always ready to mame.
8. When you see movement up ahead, you'll thank me for what I just said.
9. As you duck down even more, wiggle your butt like your ready to soar.
10. Then leap into the air, not worrying about what touches your hair.
11. Bite and chomp and finally you are done with your romp.
12. Place your catch in your yap and be pleased that it just fell for your trap.
13. Take it home and clean it up a bit, lick yourself as you sit.
14. Making sure you are all clean, as those germs can be mean.
15. Then start to chow down, filling your gut with this yummy treat that might make some frown.
16. After you're done, let the dirty human clean up your messy snack fun.
17. Then stretch out on the window sill, wasn't that a thrill.

Oh and incase you can't visualize what I have stated, here is a picture to make you elated.

Hmmmmm doesn't that look yummy, trust me it tastes even better in your tummy. Maybe if you come find bush number three, I'll share one with thee. See puts all the recipes from that other blog to shame and I even kept it kind of tame. the best treat ever, don't say never, when asked if the cat ever gave you something, for the best recipe ever I just gave a ring.

So thank Betsy from My Five Men, for giving me the inspiration to tell you a rule or ten, about how to make the perfect snack, by going on the hunt attack. But oh well I can be crass, as here anything goes with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Back To Playing What's The Point, Here At My Joint!

I really have nothing specific to say, but decided to cause a little dismay. Plus I haven't really bugged or shouted out those who come all the time, so that's another tree I will climb, because as Betsy from My Five Men has said, I have the work and lurk part down quite well in my head. Plus I can pull it off too, quite easy with my work between me and you. Unless you count plugging the facts all over the place, as then of me you might not see a trace. For when I get a good idea for that, I either do it or tell Pat. Yeah make the lowly human do the work, hey don't call me a jerk.

So something that really has no point anymore, except if your a sports nut or a news hound or some reality whore. Is cable I must say, for with all the crap today, it isn't needed much at all, although it will never take a fall. As any two bit, washed up clown, can cause me to frown, with another show on how they walk their mutt and try to get everyone to kiss their butt. Plus the IQ has fallen way way way down of most of TV, as anyone with half a brain can see. Sadly half a brain most don't seem to have now a days, as more of the same old crap comes on that makes any normal person's eyes glaze.

Not to mention you get to see the same commercial 100 times in the course of a day, that will cause anyone dismay. Year after year more time is taken for commercial cheer and less for the actual show, soon it will be flipped and be a totally different flow. Plus the news is 90% BS anyway and talking about idiotic celebrity trash like who is gay. Who really cares one bit? Oh I just caused ten brainless people to have a fit. Whoops sorry to ruin your great life, wouldn't want to cause you strife. After all talking about others just makes your day, making you feel big and important in some way. Pffft on second thought glad I offended and nope it won't be amended.

There is some good stuff though, but that can be watched on the internet or wait for the dvd to come wrapped in a bow. So again what is the point? Did I make your nose go out of joint? This just furthers what The Lair of Orson has said, we animals really need to put these brainless humans to bed.

Yes now with some luck, most are thinking either what a or what the f***, and this was to good to pass up, as I have to tip my cup, to Brian from WaystationOne, who on the last post left this little diddy that was so much fun.

ho-lee shiznit what a rant, reading the mile long post made me pant, you sound like marshall mathers, with all your beat down hate words, hit my knee, gee that i'd like ta see, so step of the soap box, cant even carry my jox when it comes to rhyming i be triple timing, while you still climbing and crying cause you legs are dying, take the blue pill, and chill cause only one king o the hill, take yo dump, while you sit on yo rump, i go rope a dope, tour the ring, chump, must be drunk from the bar, but dont ride no car, weaving while the road you be leaving, and us never seeing your cat with a hat, no scratch that, pat, whats with the tude dude, all rude and sh-t, brute wit, wont quit til i fill the comment box, rocks sox off a fox, you chicken, yeah chicken pox, but dont eat lox,it sux, wear chucks & just a little loco in the head room, max in the bed room, and not the witches that ride brooms but my wife, she got my back mess wit me she strike strife in yo life and no need for a lead pipe, her fist got bite, trust me on that, pat, so no rat a tat tat, booyah, school ya, see ya, later player...peace...LOL

So now you really must be in your truck or going nuts as a lemon you suck. Thought I was going to reiterate that word did you? Confused you once more here at my zoo. Speaking of movies also, if you want a review or a preview you can go, visit DeeDee, who between you and me, can't keep up with the rhymes of Pat or the cat, but shhhhh we won't tell, she might get her lover Hitchcock to damn us to hell...hahaha. Also did I mention she has blogs up the you know and changes the names every time I go. Yep might confuse some, at least those who at the same time can't walk and chew gum.

Oh and yes I can't forget the Tales of Tashoo, whoops it is all brand new, as The Tashtoo Parlour is what it has become, if you get a tattoo there your arm might go numb. I don't know if I'd trust Natasha with a needle as well, especially if it hurt and you were to give a yell. Plus she likes to stay in the dark, so the light might not be to good and you might get the wrong mark. So I'd stick with the reads and writes and avoid any tattoos even with lots of lights.

So that was back to form, being more of the norm, not being as umm lazy as they other day, talking in my Twitter way. But I have one or two more of those up my sleeve, when the facts get in the way so don't grieve, as they might come back, or you might grieve as they didn't get the sack. Either way it's been another fun day, here at my way, plus I was a little crass, but oh well that's my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Confused Today, Here At My Way!

If you don’t like what I said, print it off and hit shred. But I’ll just come back like a pointy tack.

Tag ur it, oh don't take a fit. Just because I'm quick and you have you hands around you di.., umm wick. Yeah that will do, while I poo

To hell with nine, I’m more than fine. With let’s say a thousand or so, lives buried in a hole

I ate a whole pringle can, better than you man. The cardboard was a bit rough, but my teeth are tough.

Take off your shoes and stop with the booze, if you want to count all my rhymes, it may take a few times.

It's early and your teeth don't look pearly. Your breath is rather harsh, are you living in a marsh? Did I offend? I'm sorry my friend!

Don’t point that at this cat, I’ll whack you with a bat. Then you’ll be toothless and I’ll be ruthless.

u can't fool this cat, scare me with a bat, because at the end of each night I'm ready to a fight with my great might and my fist tight

I'm talking funny, while u make honey. Or was that money? Yeah I know ur funny, because u look like a Bunnie, with your poop all runny

Hmm I can say dump about my brown lump. Poo works for the little ones and their buns or there is the one that rhymes with hit, oh shit!

I believe I can fly and that if I try I’ll die. But that will only be one life, it won’t cause me to much strife.

The cat comes back even if you don’t have a nice rack. Because the cat is so great, P.S. I know your fate.

I just dropped a frying pan, into the garbage can. It went right in, I didn't even have to grow a fin.

Look at my height, it’s like I could take flight or just bite as I win any fight.

Do you own a hen? Can you count to ten? Are you in a den? Or locked in a pen? Do you like men? I guess that is it for now then.

You like all my old rhymes? While that isn’t a crime. But it’s time for something new and no it’s not the poo in your shoe.

Oh I want to swear now, but you'd all go wow. So what the hell, I'll ring the bell. So shit it is, now I take a whiz

I pledge to get you down off the ledge. As I can give you a push, hopefully you’ll just land in a bush.

That car can go super speed, but I want to lead. Four legs are great, but I want one of those mate.

Almost to the triple digits all you little igits. I know it's hard to count that high, so I'll pretend you can and lie

Curiosity killed the cat, because it was too fat. But satisfaction brought it back, as it gave you a good whack.

Don’t be so fickle, I’ll give you a nickel. Then you can take that and make yourself fat.

Oh I'm late for a very important date. That's from a movie I think, Oh what a fink. Am I a dink in a rink whose pink and can't blink

You think I'm a fat cat? While I should hit you with a bat. Was that scary, yeah I know I'm kind of hairy.

I am such a leader, with my twitter feeder. What you think I was going to give you food, sorry I'm not in the mood.

I’m going straight to the top and I will not stop. So you better gets used to me or go get stung by a bee.

Next time you tweet, try using your feet. I bet you won't be able to rhyme, not even one time.

Are you a clown? That wants to go down, who can’t use a noun and avoids the town? Do you wear a paper crown, is it brown?

Why do I rhyme so much? I like to keep in touch. No not with you because you are germy like poo? Did I offend? So clean ur rear end

I have tiger dna, that’s just how I play. Oh wait should have said roll, I ain’t paying no toll.

Comment on by blog, you dirty hog. I may not like you mud, but I'll put you out to stud. Does that work or am I a jerk?

Oh that many spotted mutts, would really make me hurl my guts. As they'd run and bark all day, until I made them all pay.

Oh a mystic scroll it says we have to bowl. Oh this is great, I’ll beat you again at this rate.

Maybe u should take a break, jump in a lake, get hit with a rake, make a cake, or just bake, but the u might ache and go eat a steak.

A saying I haven’t heard in a while, made me smile. So get bent. Maybe in a tent? With all your money spent, not having a single cent.

Do u go to the bar, is it far. Don't u love all the drunks pretending to be monks. Then they get thrown on their ass and become crass

I have a hunch, you'll soon be eating lunch. Is it going to be good or taste like wood?

I will rhyme all yay, but you know what would make your day? Winning a bunch of cash and throwing your crap in the trash.

Damn this flea is such a bitch, it really makes me itch. Who’d want to suck blood, I’ll just roll in some mud.

You really think I can't do that many rhymes? While spend a few dimes. Then you'll see I can even rhyme when I pee.

Do you like to use the word that rhymes with duck? And no it isn't suck.

That’s right my rhymes go every day. No matter what comes our way. You don’t like it tuff, go walk around in the buff?

I hate the phone, I’d rather get blo.., hrm ahh, known. Yeah known and shown. Didn’t I recover good there? Stop looking at my hair.

If you want to be happy, stop being yappy. Listen to this and you’ll be in bliss. I’m a fine one to talk, as I like to squawk.

Crap, I’m such a nice chap. Oh shut your trap or should that be yap. Are you on a map? Time for a nap.

You all are being bested by a cat. That has to make you fall flat. As I’m just the best and you remain with all the rest.

My rhymes are magic, I know it’s just so tragic. You just have to nip at my heels, it’s like I’m on wheels.

I’m so funny, my eyes shoot honey. I make you laugh all the way down to your calf. What was that? I’ll make you go splat.

Don't cry and rub your eye. As the beagle boys, take all your toys. Get them back, give them a whack. The Gizmo duck way, with a tray.

I hate the ice, it isn’t nice. If it wants to come down, do it in a different town.

Oh no it's another rhyme, how can I make so many with so little time. Don't ask a dumb question rather make a suggestion

Write it out, then give it a shout. No one will care, but you can still pretend it’s rare.

Don't laugh at me or I'll whack your knee. Doesn't that hurt, bah just go buy a new skirt. Oh your'e a guy? Well you could still try.

Oh crap, no wonder Twitter wouldn't open it's trap. As I tried to post my blog there and the twits go mixed up here, that's just not fair. Oh well I can blame it on plugging the facts all day, causing me dismay. So at least you have lots to read on my grass, hmmm could it be I was just being a lazy rhyming ass?

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Orson Inspired This Little Jog, Here At My Blog!

So as you may or may not know, over at The Lair of S.....Orson he has a movement in tow. As we pets are going to break free and make all you humans take a knee. If you are kind of slow and have no idea what I mean, go HERE for everything to be seen.

So thanks to sitting on my butt, rhyming like a nut, I had to make sure I didn't lose a step or two, and it turns out I'm even better than most at using the loo, who knew? Yep the regulars like you. Oh wait this is your first time here? Hmmmm run away in fear. Watch that human run so slow, four legs come in handy don't you know.

Back the point, before Betsy's nose goes out of joint and she goes on a swearing streak, no longer being meek. As she used hellacious down below, yeah such an awful word I know. Ahhh yes between the plugging of a venture, I upped my nincatsu skills by going on an adventure. Now I'm a force that can't be stopped, just as my rhyming can't be topped.

So here you are, for free at my bar. You get to relive the adventure of this brave cat, but if you go down the hole you will go splat.

(isn't playable directly on the blog, so click the link wait 60 seconds, click regular download and you'll be through the fog)

Oh and yes I left my hat at home, as I didn't want it to get dirty as I went for a roam. As that would be more than I can "bare", oops just ruffled Betsy's hair..hahahaha.

Might take a minute or two, depending on the speed of you. But it is virus free although you may sue me, as you will spend all your time trying to win and might get fired ending you up on the corner with a tin. But this re-creation of the cat's big adventure, had some help from yankee77 and his new venture. As he programmed the cats adventure into the game, don't worry for the kiddies he kept it tame.

So there you go, today at my show, you get to interact with the life of this great cat, but be warned if you aren't good you might go splat. So as you run through the grass, but grateful you get to control the past acts of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

This Week In Crazy Town, Enough Stuff To Make One Frown!

I guess people are just getting very dumb, sniffing something other than a bum, although if they were doing that they'd be a nut too, but that you already knew. So I came across some very very very stupid stuff, might put many in a huff.

First to prove there are people that are loonie as hell, maybe they'd rather be a toonie I can't tell. That's a Canadian thing, so if you don't get it just go with the swing, or umm flow, I know you know. So as I was saying, before I started playing, how would you like a genderless kid? No I'm not putting up a bid. Just stating what a nut some people are, as the crazy bus has gone down the road quite far.

Apparently by not telling a just born child it's gender, you are reinforcing its individuality and they won't go on a bender. Yep I agree with that...not, that is so stupid it can't even be bought. Oh and did I mention these fine folks, who are nothing but blokes, let a two and five year old determine what they will do, I guess parental rights are gone after birth, who knew.

They want to break social norms and whatever else they like, on their little experiment hike, go for it all they want, not gonna stop the bullies who taunt. The confused and tormented will be the two year olds allowed to make decisions on their own and a point may come for something of a more serious tone, as the world isn't all pretty red roses, for their will always be nasty poses. Lazy is another word that springs to mind, but I'm sure completely nuts you can find. Alas though to each their own, now this one has flown.

Next on to the other nutty thing I heard, which is completely absurd. Down under they are contemplating putting in each car, a device that will monitor every single cars speed bar and if you go over they can remotely kill your engine on the spot, that idea should just rot. As poof your engine is killed, sure the drivers behind, in front and on the side will be thrilled. As smash you will go and bruises, wrecks and maybe even death you will show. Another very stupid idea, who comes up with this crap in their so called career?

Now there is also the idea, that could strike fear. Of mandatory black boxes in each and every car, so now they can track you near or far. Plus the insurance people can now cheat your ass some more, as they can see exactly what happened in the black box encore, weaseling their way out however they can, hate the stupid insurance man.

Oh and also lots already have them installed, but they still aren't being called. As they are hidden in the airbag supposedly, I'm sure for that they also tacked on a fee. Not that most have anything to hide, but I don't really want to be tracked far and wide. At least with my phone the battery can be pulled out, so I can slink out and about. Good luck digging into the airbag and yanking out the black box, who comes up with these crazy talks?

If they spent half as much time, focusing on actual crime, instead of all this crap, some dirtbags they may trap. But oh no have to find something that will get insurance companies even more off the hook and allow some wingnut to write everything you do down in a book. Plus something else that they can charge you a fee, after all they aren't going to do this for free. For from their big oil kickbacks they are oh so poor, so they just need that much more.

Now for something on the flip side, if your sense of humor is rather wide, as the whole aspect is vile, but the kids expression will make you laugh for a mile. Although I at least would have put my hand over the kids eyes, hey maybe it was unseen, due to being on the small size. If you have a fit, don't blame this rhyming twit, blame Dr. Heckle, be forewarned you might pop a freckle..lol...so HERE is what I'm yapping about and it all started because I told someone to go blow a goat.

Oh and cats rule and dogs drool, oh ummm wait dogs can't drool when their nose is cold, check HERE to see why it's as I always told. That's what happens when you get to frisky or drink to much whisky...lol...see the cat may rhyme, but never ever do that, not even one time.

Damn I found a bunch to rant about today, here at my way. So get ready to be tracked from ocean to sand to grass and that is all today from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Another Tale I Weave, Plus You Can Believe!

So Natasha over at The Tashtoo Parlour saved me time today, as I don't have to plug the facts my usual way. For she saved me the trouble of all of that, with her comment from before in rhyme chat. So if you think I'm a loon and full of crap, see her little rap. So guess I'm not full of crap after all, at least not to much as I just did the number two nature call..haha.

So wasn't that more descriptive than my usual little dig, plus that comment was really big. So I guess I do something right, as I go for a new height. Ok now enough with making my head grow, as I move on at my show.

So I was thinking I'd use Mr. Linky again over at the onestop way, as it was fun and caused little dismay.....

"In came the voice of reason, the voice of strength, the voice everyone should listen too, as he had escaped the grasp of a so called God and remained in the shadows telling all of those how it is."

What the hell are you trying to prove? You trying to ruin my groove?

"As this cat rhymed back at me, I could see why Drazin was annoyed by him. For he was a loon and reminded me of a cartoon. Look I can do that as well, I'm just so good at everything."

Oh go blow a goat and get back to your God fellow, with his stupid bellow. As it's onestop time, so beat it so I can rhyme.

"Does onestop mean it's your only stop? Or does it mean it's just one stop along the way? If so does that make it stop number five? Stop number ten? How do you tell, the rules aren't really that defined."

Oh you want to play voiceover nut? Ok the cat can crack you like a nut. As I'll send your behind packing, as brain cells you are seriously lacking.

"But do I lack more than you? For you are a cat that likes to rhyme and does so all the time, maybe you are the one who need to seek help, do you think?"

This voiceover guy seems different from the last, doesn't seem to be as fast, with all the comebacks like the other, could this one be his brother? Or maybe all his good material was used or maybe Drazin whacked his head one to many times when he abused.

"Oh you can tell there is a difference? Maybe you aren't as dumb as you look. But you'll never be as good as me."

I know who you are, I'm going to throw you in front of a car, as you interrupted my post, I'll make you a ghost.

"Oh shut up bro, you're afriad of everything you know."

Miss priss is using one of those voice disguiser things, as she tries to pull my strings. Thinking I'd fall for that, by that prissy Cassie cat.

"Hey give that back"

What you going to do miss priss, sit there and hiss?

"We'll see about that, you so called wild cat."

Yikes she's chasing my behind, a good place to hide I must find, so before she jumps on me with her bigger mass, I have to take off with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Visit My Reef, Good Grief!

So as I was typing up a new rhyme, I stopped before I was even 25% through that chime, as I called my place another name, so I decided to use this for today's rhyme game. Yes I will keep things somewhat tame and promise not to mame. Unless you are a mouse, then you might lose your life at my house.

See I just did it there, I know it's more than you can bare. As I confuse some unsuspecting visitor at my watering hole, as they come to take a stroll. Even if they want to relax at my shore, I bug them that much more. So at my rhyming tree, you get what you see or maybe you get nothing at all, can you follow the bouncy ball?

Oh doesn't that just annoy, watching that thing go up and down with such joy. Oh don't be coy, you know you don't go oh boy. More like oh brother, as I name off another. For at my rhyming land, I am quite grand. Maybe my shore should have a yellow brick road, as I seem to be full of quite the load.

At my bush, is where I plank my little rhyming tush. Or maybe I have a lair, yeah that's already taken so no fair. Is this to much to bare? Am I ruffling your hair? Do I call where I lurk by to many names? Have you had enough with these question games? Hmmm that could be an interesting post too, might have to try that to annoy all of you.

Sorry for those that come to my rhyming sea, that are confused by me, as there is no dub here at by pub. That would just take to damn long and might get the words wrong. Then you could think I'm a donkey as I say my last line, although some might think that already with the words of mine. But oh well, I could care less in the mountain where I dwell. Hmm first time I used that one, maybe out in my rhyming field I need a run.

Damn I could go on all day, but I can't just not work and play or then my place would be in a gutter and I'd have no internet connection to mutter. So I'll finish here at my rhyming grass, by simply stating I'll always be a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Touch Each Post, All Not Most!

So as Pat was walking a good twelve kms the other day, I have no idea how many miles that is for you down the south way and I'm to lazy to make that trek and go check. If I had some one to beam me up, then I'd check, sure, yup. Oh had to throw that in there, as it was too much to bare. Yes he had to walk, following the sidewalks and chalk, as the new car had one more thing to do, get undercoated so it didn't rust up the gazoo, as the old one did, so I ran and hid. As when Pat throws on his jeans, Cassie and I make scenes, as we know there is a chance we'll have to go for a car ride, so like I said we hide.

Of course he could have taken a cab, stuck his hand out to grab, but cheap he is, anyway on to the daily biz. So as he was walking he came across a guy and this is no lie, who was walking in front of him, didn't seem at all dim, but he had a certain confliction or it could be more of an addiction. For he did something I only seen on TV, Monk to be more specifically.

As he walked he had to touch each post, not missing one as he walked along the coast. It didn't matter if it was a telephone pole, if there was a water hole, if it was a sign post, he had to step on toast, or if it was a tree, he touched each and everyone he went past and could see. The same finger he used as well, yes Pat noticed that and had to tell.

Yes I definitely have my vices I will admit and many others that view and sit, have some as well, some may be weird as hell, but what do you get out of touching each post? You think if you don't you'll be haunted by a ghost? One thing you do get is germs, also there were lots of worms. How do those things get on the cement sidewalk, it's not like they have some dirt lock, that they can burrow through, maybe they are dropped by rain or got lost from the zoo. Yeah they are both probably untrue, but if you ever need bait for fishing I can tell you, just go take a quick walk near cement somewhere and you'll find more worms then you can bare.

Geez went off on the worm rant, next time I'll make it an ant. As those suckers come out of the blue and get eaten by me or squashed and flushed down the loo. But back on task, as the guy didn't even wear a mask. Just walked down the street, all nice and neat, touching every single one, wonder if it's fun? Guess never know what one might see, when they are forced to walk for free.

Yes I know I wasn't like Brian and didn't make a poem out of it, so don't go have a fit. I just rhymed up a storm, which here is the norm, everywhere else I'm a loon, going to my own toon, which I guess that guy does as well, still amazed so I had to tell. Now as usual I pass some gas from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, May 21, 2011

King of Kings and Other Things!

"In the darkness lies a being so immense, so terrifying, that the human mind is unable to comprehend the magnitude of his awesomeness. For he has traveled from afar, seeking revenge for a past injustice. Righting the wrongs with his Godly powers and striking down all who stand in his path. Now you are about to witness a small glimmer into the life of a God, the life of the Great God Duke Drazin."

DRAZIN: "That's right you stinkin furballs, this is a warning, this is your last rights come alive. As Drazin has everything prepared for that day when you are nothing but a pair of slippers. That's right, Drazin is going to take down the both of you furballs for what you did to Drazin. You took advantage of Drazin's unwillingness to show off Drazin's Godly powers to mortals and Drazin is going to pay you both back ten fold."

"With each word he echoes a tremendous force grips all those surrounding him, as they all stare on with wonder. The know not that of which he speaks, most not even understanding the words, but bow down in worship as he continues to spread his wisdom."

DRAZIN: "You flea bags are going to wish you were never created, that you never came into contact with Drazin or that you wised up and bowed down to the Great God Drazin like all Drazin's newly acquired subjects."

"The hundreds in attendance continue to watch in awe at everything he states, as they....as they....oh hell you can't pay me enough to read this crap. You are a nut job plain and simple, I mean the subjects you are talking about are rats and a few bums. Hell you are in a garbage heap, you want to reign over a garbage pile Mr. God, be my guest, I have better things to do then read this shit."

DRAZIN: "Narrator guy, you get your ass back hear and finish what Drazin paid you to do or the Great God Drazin will have you narratoring cereal commercials."

"Hell that be an improvement over this, they'd probably even pay better. Where did you get this money any way? Did you have your rat army go pitpocket some people for you? No you probably stole the bums can collection didn't you? Some God."

DRAZIN: "Narrator guy you are getting on Drazin's nerves, continue reading the script or Drazin will bury you in this garbage heap, giving you a taste of what Drazin has in store for those flea bags."

"Don't make me laugh, you probably have more fleas in your nose hair than two cats ever would. Throw in some human feces, old condoms and God knows what else. Oh wait, you're a God, you should know what else right? Heck if you're so Godly why don't you zap me with a thunderbolt right now? Waiting, waiting, what you need to replace your energizer batteries? Aren't they supposed to keep going and going? I bet with your mouth they deplete pretty fast."

DRAZIN: "That's it narrator guy, Drazin has had enough. Drazin is going to come down off Drazin's Godly mountain top and squash you like a bug, unless you start reading the script in the next five seconds."

"Oh ok I'll finishing reading your so called script. Flea Bag this God who has toppled giants, ogres and unicorns is going to turn you into a head dress, so he can prance around like Madonna. This God who has to walk to get to you, get thrown out a window by two cats and can't even handle a couple of zombies without people named Gung Ho, yeah real winners there, is going to chew on your bones. But don't worry his teeth are so rotten, they'll probably break from a strand of your fur...uggg...awww...."

DRAZIN: "Drazin told you to shut up narrator guy, Drazin isn't going to tell you again. Now the Great God Duke Drazin is going to make an example of you to all Drazin's loyal subjects and to those two furballs, who should fear what's coming."

"Ha fear they might get blisters in their ears from listening to you run your yap all day."

DRAZIN: "Smart mouth to the end huh narrator guy?"

"I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that a God has rats for subjects or the the fact that a supposed God can't even figure out one person's name, do you know how stupid you sound? Oh wait if you knew that, you wouldn't bother getting out of bed in the morning."

DRAZIN: "Enough of you narrator guy, time for you to become part of the trash, guess you'll feel right at home."

"You'd know all about that huh?"

DRAZIN: "See you soon furballs, as Drazin is coming for the both of you and Drazin knows where you live."

I can still see his ugly mug right up close on the screen, enough to make me turn green, as the TV went to static, but don't worry I didn't become erratic. That narrator also sounds rather swell, I'm sure he got away and ran like hell. Maybe one day we'll find out, but such crap that supposed God does spout. Oh wait I haven't explained any of this yet, so here we go don't fret.

Damn I thought the world was going to end there for a second or two, yeah right I know I at least can't fool some of you. Others may be a bit of a ummm bug, as their small brain capacity can be swept under a rug. As I rolled over on the remote last night and woke up to the TV blaring that fright.

So I thought I'd share with all of you, what that Drazin loon was up too. Can you believe he sent that in the mail, Pat must have thought the DVD was a fail. As I never saw him watch it at all, maybe it was for the cat and he's too tall? Yeah that's a stretch, at least I don't play fetch.

But can you imagine waking up to that dumb mook, made me almost want to puke, a hairball I had been working on, waiting to spit it up at dawn. So now I know I'm not hearing things in my sleep, as that narrator guy also blasted that creep, I need to take a nap, so lets all give a clap, to the supposed God of the trash and all those world ending loons who now owe me cash. What you didn't bet? Damn now I'll have a fit and fret. But at least there is satisfaction in knowing I was right, helping me sleep good tonight.

So the cat and everyone else is still here, some might cheer, others might peer and it will start up again another year. But come that time, I'll still be rhyming on a dime and hopefully with no weight added to my mass, as I wouldn't want to be a big rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Could Be My Last Post, Better Give a Good Roast!

Yes I may not be able to post anymore, here at my shore, as wait for it, nope not a fit, at least not yet, but don't fret, just give me a second of two and I'll have one just for you. Where was I? Oh yes being ever so sly, keeping you on the hook, as I write a book. Get on with it you say? You don't want to go through this delay? As I've got you hooked and without a fix, you might perform tricks? Hmmmm maybe I should stop just for that, be awfully funny to this cat.

But it has nothing to do with me or at least that I can see, as tomorrow the world will END, oh no all my money I should spend. Wait I have none of that, hmmm guess the world can turn flat..hahaha. Yes don't worry at all, as with my typical rhyming call, I'm going to say how STUPID this is, this Earth ending biz.

You know it's a slow news day when you have to show this crap on live TV, reality TV it almost makes me want to see, almost I say, as I'd rather go in the road and play, than watch that crap, least it could give me a good nap. Oh yes the world ending loons, maybe they watched one to many Saturday morning cartoons. Or was that some evil guy, making some plan to apply, to take over the planet for himself, bah both are just as dumb may as well talk about an elf.

Firstly the "World" will never end for billions of years, so while you fret about your world ending fears, know long after we are dead and gone, there will more likely still be a dusk and a dawn, the planet will still be here in some form, probably won't be the norm. Heck maybe bugs will reign supreme, Cassie and I will do a double team and try to eat them all, before our fall. Damn after that I'd get fat, maybe I'll just chew on a tasty rat.

Anyway dumb humans have to go all big, trying to put a fancy wig, on mankinds end, which is an ever growing trend, by saying oh the world will end, sorry still be here my friend. So now that, that is out of the way, anyone want to take a big bet that we'll still be here Saturday. Heck I'll even extend it to next year, if losing money you fear. Want to even go past December 21, 2012 too, I'll take that bet with you. Just be prepared to pay, as it isn't going to end on that or any other day.

Some dumb crackpot comes up with a theory whether it's scary or cheery and the masses follow like some obedient mutt, while I move on making a toot out my butt. Yep that's about the size of this theory crap, as they all can be flushed down the tap.

Things will change, things will rearrange, but the planet won't go anywhere and all these theories one shouldn't care. For to really go extinct, something big would have to make us hit the brink, like some outerspace meteor thing or even the aliens come to make us sing, but more than likely some nut job will start a war and cause at least some of this lore, to come into affect, so they can use it to deflect, how stupid they really are, for taking this crap to far.

As I can say I found clues left behind many years ago, that for sure I know, everyone will one day poop green and it will be a sight to be seen. Then when one person does that, oh look I was at least somewhat right with my chat. Point is if you look you will find, because it is on your mind.

I have gave a good fit, which was asked for by Betsy in the below comment hit. So when pop goes this big planet mass, I'm sure I'll be dead and buried in the grass, yet still will be crass and forever remain a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Need a Coffee Table Coaster? If Not, Better Off Buying a Brave Little Toaster!

For those who read the title and got the reference I made, you know what I'm about to degrade. As I did a movie one by the ton, about ones that were fun. So before Pat knocks another cover letter or two down, I'm going to go right to town, on all the bad crap, that will cause you to have a nap, if you pop it on your TV, try one if you don't believe me. So here is the bad movie one, it just had to be done.

So if I named off all the remakes, sequels and crap horror things
As I give my bad movie rings
I'd be here all week
So I'll just go with the ones that you really shouldn't seek
At least from the memory I had
And avoiding them you will be glad

The Fountain will make you wish they'd drown
As this awful piece of trash will make the cat go sport a gown
Mr. Nanny will make you rethink that though
The Tooth Fairy will take that thought and from your mind it will go
If you Zig Zag
Get some exercise instead and play tag

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory may look sweet
But it be more fun to bite the toenails off your feet
The Tomorrow Man should have stayed in tomorrow
And never came causing such sorrow
Game 6 will make your eyes go shut
More than 7 Seconds trust the nut

Abandon all hope
Unless you want to mope
Even if you are Alone in the Dark
It be more fun making your dog bark
If you see The Hulk
Be prepared to sulk

There are a Legion of these
But I'd rather go back and learn the birds and the bees.
Maybe I'll have Balls of Fury or something
Oh the title is the only thing worth a sing
Lymelife will make you go to the store
And suck a lime as that be more fun than that bore

The Million Dollar Hotel
Is more like a trip to hell
Anything with National Lampoon's now a days
Will put you into a stupid daze
The New World should never have been found
As it should have been buried in a big hole in the ground

The Puppter Masters was quite the scare
Just turning it on is more than you can bare
As it will bring the Doom
Yeah the title there should instantly state gloom
Also The Clearing
Will make you wish you lost your hearing

Ernest Goes to Africa is where he should have stayed
As that one was completely frayed
Exorcist the Beginning never should have begun
No I'm no where near done
Wild Hogs couldn't drag me away
Ok they could if I ever again have to watch that on my display

Another Stakeout will make you scratch out your eyes
As you see Rosie with only bubbles as a disguise
Behind the Red Door you'll wish you could slam
Or stick Beowolf in and use his head for jam
Bobby Z might do it for you
But you'd have better time at the zoo

Carriers could make your hair stand on your neck
As The Pest will cause you to already feel regret
Highlaner 2 and Nirvana I don't know which one is worse
Watching each will think you've been hit with a curse
TMNT 3 you'll wish would die
As you'd have more fun poking yourself in the eye

But Beverly Hills Cop 3 takes the cake
As that one you'll shove in the oven and let bake
Or X3 could take that spot
I wish that thing would go and rot
I could be singing The Gospel to you
But this is just so bad it's true

Dungeons & Dragons will make you miss
The last time a drop went down your leg of piss
You'll load up First Daughter
And use it for cannon fodder
I Am Legend adds to the trash
But anything beats Indiana Jones 4 that left a bad rash

Or some overbloated junk like Pirates of the Caribbean 2 and 3
Which make you want to flee
So starting to get into sequels to much
So I'll give one more touch
On Die Hard 4
As the fighter jet at the end might make you hurl all over the floor

Oh and speaking of what comes up, this food may be liked by a pup, but it is hated by Pat and the cat, although just to tick off the Fox and ruffle his socks, after his big long rant on this meme thing, I 'll give it a ring.

Orlando from O'About That, gave this award to poor Pat. Yeah he needs that, as a big head already consumes the cat. But the cheer is surely appreciated and with all my poking fun it shouldn't be depreciated. Although the rules I break, so excuse as I don't partake, oh wait I have one, 15 people who deserve the award for fun, ummm the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat.....did I use the commas right? Or cause a fright?.....the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat.....wow I have such a big head, how do I get out of bed?.....the cat, the cat, the cat, the cat, and the cat. So how about that? Mr. O'About That, was that a swell chat? Did I fall flat? Yes I'm an annoying gnat and a dirty rat, with a baseball bat and a big hat. Look gave facts too, I guess I did follow the rules by you, yep now I'm done, as I've had my fun.

So there we go, have I spoiled your dinner at my show? Or at least your day? But at least by coming my way, you now know to avoid some trash, keeping your cash, or the time you spend downloading stuff, if money is tough, or a cheapo you are. Don't worry I won't rat you out at my bar. So I guess it's time to let Pat type up his job crap, when I feel like giving it to him and taking a nap. As the computer is controlled by my small mass, letting you all hear from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

One Shot or Ummmmm Not!

Yes I'm early, don't get squirrely, I'll post in Mr. Linky thing, when he decides to appear and give a ring. So I never played this whole one shot thing, but I thought at least once I'd see what I could bring. I decided to give it a try, but you all know by now I'm not your typical rule following guy, errr ummmm cat, so I didn't just do that. I did a three shot, yes I know quite a lot. As I once again go all profound, thanks to stomping over at the onestoppoetry ground, Wednesday will never be the same, as I create a three ring frame, not just one, oh aren't I fun.

Bite Me

A quick tingle up your spine
As you step across the line
Bitten all raw and sore
No longer waiting to see what life has in store

Taking it upon yourself to choose
Whether you win or lose
But as the redness begins to surge
Certain aspects of one's self begin to purge

The little prick that once was
Now enlarged with more abuzz
Blatent and enlarged for all the world to find
As you scratch what is on the forefront of your mind

This itch continues to annoy
For the search has lead to no joy
It blisters and breaks
As your hand scratches and racks

Wishing this annoyance to end
As the puss flows around the bend
For the bow has broke
And you no longer remember the words you once spoke

Trying to get back to what once was clear
But finding yourself no where near
As the itch has now begun to cluster
And no more strength you have left to muster

Oh that wasn't bad, but aren't you glad, it isn't over yet, or are you going to fret? For I make you stay and read, here at my feed, as you are all hooked now, so sequel number one before I wow.

Scabbed Over

The drugs and cream
Have ridden the itch but haven't brought back the gleam
As you now show the wear
Of experience from your feet to your hair

Reminded of that past time
As you look at the stair you were once able to climb
Ignoring the itch and shoving past
Thinking forever your day would last

The scabbed over area focuses your stare
As you smirk and glare
Aware of what this itch had done
But looking at your new path that has begun

With one big swoop
You claw repeating a loop
Ridding yourself of scabs and reminders
Once again taking off the blinders

A scar develops where an itch gave birth
Which you use to judge your worth
Attempting to create a path
Avoiding the countless other opinions wrath

Choosing not to just try again
But attempt something done by few men
No longer a scabbed over area to show
As onward you go

Now the the first sequel is through, time to make this trilogy ring true, as I go back to rhyming each word, proving I'm such an unbeatable turd. Yeah I make fun of myself, here at my shelf, so I save you the trouble of that, aren't I just a helpful cat?

Healed or Not?

Start, Stop, Try
Chart, Swap, Apply

Wants of past you still eye
Haunts shove fast, true skill high

Knowledge now on your side
Acknowledge, allow, spawn, assure stride 

Scrapping back up top
Mapping black cup drop

Shining ever so bright
Mining clever, slow fight

Yield your plot
Healed or Not?

Look at that for the onestop day, I used three to play and rhymed every word in the last, aren't my skills just vast. Yeah my head is also quite big, I could use it to snap a large twig. But what makes it even more big, isn't a fancy wig, as Natasha has shown off The Tashtoo Parlour in the poetry acts and has once again upped the amount of acts. So go have a look, before I write a book. Well I think that will be my profoundness for May, but it will rear it's head another day. But no matter if I'm talking about postcards, aliens or crap, I'll still take you on a lap and you won't be able to pass, on visiting my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall

Monday, May 16, 2011

Cats Galore, All Across The Floor!

So Pat went home for his typical once a month visit or so and of course stuffed us in a cage and made us go. Being in a cage for two hours is no fun, but then if he let us run, we'd end up in the ditch, without a hitch.

So that is not the worst of it all though, as I'm about to show. For when I get there, it's to much to bare. So I'll just show it right now and yes I just about have a cow.

See all of those furballs I have to deal with each time I go, they are everywhere and run to and fro. Although thanks to my mouth they are all afraid of me, for as soon as it's me they see, they go the other way, not giving me the time of day. As they know I'll swat them upside the head, so they just go sleep on a bed. This means I get full run of the house, hey at least I'll kill a mouse. Those prissy things won't even try, it's like the little thing will make them die.

But as you sit and stare, thinking that's more than you could bare, count them up, yes there is also a butt sniffing pup. But he's just an annoying runt, that's shaped like a wiener so he makes a good hunt. But as you finish your count, don't worry your shoes can stay on for the above amount, add half a dozen to what you see and that's how many are in front of me, as I roam all around, seeing what can be found. Oh and don't worry miss priss scares them off too, as see can be quite feisty between me and you.

So all this stress of seeing so many furballs, up and down the halls, has made me quite lazy today, so I used them to play. But I'd like to open to door, cause them to scatter across the floor and chase some out into the grass, but instead I'll just sit and rest my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

P.S. I'll leave you with one final image to disturb your mind, oh and it's not of my behind. But don't worry you won't have to dash, as I have nothing left to flash.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

From Out Of The Blogger Dust, I Guess Showing Is a Must!

So this was the post blogger decided to say bye bye to, so it may not be new, but it was never commented on yet and you all never got the chance to comment and fret. Oh and special thanks to The Silver Fox Lair, for this post once again coming back to bare, as the Fox saved it in his Google reader and emailed it back to me for my blog feeder. So Brian you now know who else to blame, for giving your closet fame, but Betsy took the pictures and started it up, so if you light a bag on fire with poo from a pup, you know which doorstep to place it on and remember to do it at dusk or dawn.

Look What The Cat Can Do, Going To Be Hated By Most of You!

So after I tripped that Drazin guy, with us cats being so sly, ok it was Cassie's plan, but miss priss I'll just ban. Anyway going on with my show, as now I'm in the know. For when that big lug, gave my side a tug, I felt a quick jolt, but don't worry I didn't start to molt, as now I hear things quite clear, somethings I didn't want to know I fear.

"Get on with it already"

"What is this guy going on about"

Shut up the two of you, I'll get to it when I do.

"Hmmm the cat seems to be having a fit or he could just be a twit"

I heard that dear reader, want me to take all the feed out of your bird feeder? Yes Betsy I know that's what you were thinking, as that stuff you were drinking.

"Wait he heard me, what"

Yes now I can hear all the thoughts in your mind, meaning nowhere are you safe from my behind.

"Look at this guy and his commas, he must be using Word"

Orlando I'll flip you a comma bird, yes you too I heard.

"Ha I knew he was a fake"

Wait that was said twice, oh Fox I know that's your vice, maybe you two grammer hounds should get a room, I'll even make space my removing the broom. Oh I can still amuse, even if my Brian I'm starting to lose.

Look I even spelled that wrong, but speaking of Brian he seems to be singing a different song.

"Where did I put those? Where could they be? You think the kids found them? I know I left them there?"

Yes Brian seems to have something on his mind, as I called in a favor and had a friend go and find, a certain item down his way, as curiousity was getting the better of the cat today. But just to ease Brian's brain, I'll show what was found at his lane.

"Oh I hope he doesn't tell Brian it was me."

Betsy you just gave yourself away, now your twin might come your way and get you back, for taking pictures of the clothes on his closet rack.

"But after taking pictures at the auction, I just wanted more."

"I'm going to come get those sis, as I need them for the weekend."

"I wish Betsy would raid my underwear drawer."

"What is going on here?"

"Vaya, qué montón de colimbos"

"What he say?"

"How you know it was a he?"

"One hundred dollar bill, two hundred dollar bill, oh I love being rich, three hundred dollar bill..."

"Why don't these guys speak proper grammar when they think, maybe I should do a post on that hmmm"

"Wow, was für ein Haufen Seetaucher"

"Betsy there better not be wrinkles on my favorite skirt."

Too crowded in here, need to clear, talking like I have brain damage or something, bang head maybe relief it will bring.

"Thank God he doesn't hear me, or he'd know my love for Hitchcock was so deep."

" What the bleeping, bleep is this bleeping bleep, this bleeping bleep is bleeped."


Finally relief, now I can go back to being the chief, of all the thoughts in my mind, as some of you just aren't kind. Plus some things shouldn't be heard or told, I wonder if that German guy was being nice or cold.

Natasha must be taking all that money she's putting in piles and buying some new tiles, as she no longer has Tashtoo Tales, as now a Parlour instead has been erected with some nails. Lightening..lol...does seem to strike twice, as Orlando and Fox think about grammer like I think about mice. Fox also thought about underwear, yes that might cause some to stare...hahaha

Brian I'm sure Betsy will return your clothes to where they belong, as stealing them was wrong, I only asked her to take pictures and report back, but I guess your taste is just sharp as a tack. So she took them home with her, aren't you glad her camera doesn't blur?

DeeDee that I really didn't want to know, but got you again at my show. A lot of you used foul language too, what goes on in the minds of some of you. Of course I'd never point out directly which ones, pretty hard when there were tons. 

So wasn't that such a delight? Of course for some it might be a fright. But aren't you glad the cat decided to share? At least I was fare and included all that I heard, even if you want to now flip me the bird, which is probably the case, but it was so much fun today at my place. Of course I don't want that power back, as it prevents my rhyme attack. Ok just slows it down, but I know that would make some frown. So as all of you continue to think with such crass, I'll run and hide my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Alan and His Postcard Fetching, Seems To Be Catching!

So the cat is a bit ummm young, so is used to crap like Twitter to flap my tongue, but over at News From Nowhere, Alan stirred everyone up with this postcard affair. So after Betsy pleaded for the address to bush number three, I decided to peek my head up and see what I could see. Then the switch took place and now in two places you can see my face.
So you can see my bush with a crack, sorry doesn’t include a rack, gutter talk there, not that you care. But as I was saying you can see bush number three and all that surrounds me over at My Five Men, where I even show a bird or ten. Although one is in the shitter, I think I scared him out so now he’s quite bitter. But that’s what he gets for leaving a mess on the seat or on the floor where I put my feet. Ok enough about that, as if you want to see the postcard by the cat, go over there, if you’re a prude it might ruffle your hair.
But what did the cat get in exchange, here at my open range, ha I wish, maybe one day I’ll have a pond with fish. Damn there I go again, nope wrong it wasn’t a hen. As the cat gets shown off in style, although if it housed my past poo that be kind of vile. Hopefully Betsy had a clean can in mind, when she drew my behind. So here is the postcard I received in the mail yesterday, Alan aren’t you glad everyone has decided to play?

Now wasn’t that picture of the cat so cute, and the rhyme was just a hoot. Plus she has such nice handwriting as well, mine is pretty scary, which if you go look, you’ll be able to tell. Heck I could be lazy and didn't even need to retype what she wrote, all and all giving this postcard a big thumbs up rhyme time vote. So once again I give My Five Men a toot, Alan for treating twitter like a newt and me for just being me always here for one and all to see. Even if she did stuff me in a Pringle can, good thing I’m not a six foot tall man.
So to the full Pringle cans that Pat eats and the empty ones that he stores for the treats, that Cassie and I, live in the litter sometimes smelling like something did die and the full ones that house our past movements from the other end, what a nice post card from a friend. Now I will stop all this nice shhh, umm crap and say my usual last lap. So stay off the bush number three grass or I’ll chase you down with my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.

Blogger Can Kiss My Ass, Don't Care If I'm Crass!

The title says it all and I hope they see it all the days until fall because they are a load of trash, that I'd like it to be something physical so I could bash. I'd take a bat and smash it into more pieces than a collecting sewer rat.

Made my last post disappear, as well as some comments below I fear. Stupid, Stupid blogger is a piece of junk, maybe I'll just stick to watching Monk.

Ok that is enough of a rant for now and I hope these (fill in really crass comment here) have a cow. I hope it hurts when it comes out and they sit and pout. But at least Brian can take a sigh of relief, as the skirt crack now won't cause him grief.

Just wanted to say how crappy they are and I will have a better one that will hit a higher bar, sometime later on, as blogger is nothing but a stupid con. I hope it rots somewhere swell, likes down in hell. Oh aren't I crass, screw them as they can kiss my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

It's The Day Of The Cat, Screw Pat!

Oh that title could be taken so so wrong, just don't think about it to long. Of course the normal crew that come to lurk, will instantly get a smirk. So no longer will you get the basic run down of Pat, as now you get the rundown in rhyme by the cat. Oh it was just fun and I quickly got it all done.

But that can be seen over there, did you know that Drazin guy doesn't play fair? Yes the so called God returned to bug the cat, doesn't seem like he will ever scat. In fact he's here right now, having his typical every day cow, so I opened up one of those programs built by someone smarter than lambs, that types out the words you say, so you can read as I get rid of him once more today.

DRAZIN: "Don't ignore Drazin you stupid furball, Drazin knows you're in there, for the Great God Drazin knows all and when Drazin knocks down this door Drazin is going to make you into that hat."

CASSIE: "Friend of yours?"

She smiled at me with such delight, as I ran about for he did cause a little bit of a fright.

CASSIE: "Maybe he'll huff and puff and blow the door down."

She rolled on her back laughing at me, rubbing it in as much as should could for free. I never thought that thrid person, talking clown, could ever track me down. But it looks like he did, I'm going to have to have a chat with that Pat kid. As he needs to be more hidden of his address, so the cat doesn't end up in this mess.

I watched as the peep hole became dark and listened as he began to bark. I wished I had something to poke him in the eye, bet that would make this so called God cry.

DRAZIN: "Oh furball, get your scrawny ass out here so Drazin can chew you up and spit you out."

CASSIE: "Shouldn't a God be able to pick a lock?"

DRAZIN: "Who was that furball? Your girlfriend? Don't worry Drazin will let her watch your demise."

CASSIE: "Also shouldn't a God know what's on the other side of a door?"

DRAZIN: "Your girlfriend has a big mouth furball, maybe Drazin will create a pair of slippers instead of a hat. Come on furball, don't perlong this anymore than it has to be, as Gods always get their way."

CASSIE: "Please, the excrement I leave in the litter box is more Godly then this clown."

The fear had actually left the cat and I actually found miss priss funny at that. As the banter between the two went on like this for quite some time, I had to turn that program off as they didn't rhyme. I don't want you to think I'm going soft, here at my rhyming loft.

He started jiggling the door knob, acting as if he was someone looking to rob, this little hole, maybe Santa only left him a lump of coal. Could that be what made him so uptight, you know it just might. But the door became ajar and he started to open it quite far. I figured I was dead meat, but Cassie ran up to the door to greet.

Not really a proper greeting I must say, but it really made my day, as she jumped at the door and slammed it back into Drazin's face, making him fall to the floor.

CASSIE: "A God bested by a cat, how about that?"

Cassie laughed in her little prissy way, but down Drazin did not stay. As he got up and came charging into our place, with quite an ugly look on his face, not that he was much to look at before, but now it was just a chore. No the cat doesn't swing that way, just had to say, plus I'm inbetween as I've been fixed because Pat is so mean.

DRAZIN: "It's time for you to pay fleabag for getting Drazin fired, for getting Drazin mixed up in some zombie mess and for getting on the Great God Drazin's nerves."

CASSIE: "Do you just like the sound of your own voice or something?"

She was still as sly as ever, acting quite clever and not backing down from this third person talking clown.

DRAZIN: "What fleabag, going to let your girlfriend do all the talking for you? Yeah Drazin figured as much, don't worry no longer will you have to play second fiddle to her, as Drazin is going to skin you and mount you with no fur. Look you even made the Great God Drazin rhyme, now it's frying time."

This big galoot chased us around for an hour, his expression continuing to sour, as he was to slow and couldn't get in the small places we could go.

CASSIE: "Is that sweat I see? Where's your Godly powers now? Huh? Come on is that the best you got?"

Cassie kept egging him on as she sat on a window sill, he's eyes began to give off a glow which gave me a chill. But she just sat there with a smirk, just daring the jerk, to come on over, like some brain dead rover. He came running like a bull at Cass and that is when she nodded to my little rhyming ass, I ran out just before he hit the window sill and tripped him up which wasn't a thrill, as it hurt my side because that guy is kind of wide.

But what made it all worth while, as he went flying through the window in style. He landed on the balcony just barely holding on, yelling for us not to let him fall on the lawn.

CASSIE: "What a God, no wonder people would worship you, as anyone and everyone is better than you. You make that big rock out there look bright."

Cassie looked down so amused with herself and trotted out like a happy little elf. She then gave him a smirk and clawed his fingers one by one, watching as they became undone.

DRAZIN: "Drazin will get you furballs."

Was the last thing he stated as he fell through the air, but don't worry his life didn't end there, as after all he's supposedly some God or something like that, but he did go splat, right into the back of a garbage truck, I think I even heard him say oh ****, as the last load was dumped on his head and to the garbage dump he was lead.

So now that was another tale of that Drazin baffoon, told by this rhyming loon. Now we have to get this place back in order, before Pat comes home, sees it and ships us across the border. As Betsy already has five cats in her yard, having two more wouldn't be that hard. So now the cat gets to plug the facts more too, bringing more viewers to all of you, at least those who joined up, to them I tip my cup and go to clean the mess left by that God like mass, as I forever remain a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

So We Now Know I Can't Be Beat, So I'll Just Go All Repeat!

So after a combination of things, a thought was what this stuff brings. As first it was over at The Silver Fox Lair, where I laughed as he sold things on eBay with some flair. Then Pat nagged at the cat, to do just that.

Thus the creation of this rhyme, which I may have to use other places I go to chime. Or then people might think Pat is more of a nut and the cat might get a kick in the butt. But what the hell, I just thought I'd copy the ad and see any feedback one might tell. Yes I know I'm quite the lazy ass today, but at least I had something different to say. Unlike a certain My Five Men, who could up the ante to ten..hahaha oh wouldn't that be fun, I'd love to watch all things come undone.

Then of course I was over at WaystationOne and you know the new diddy Brian has done, is really quite swell, although he might make the lazy bloke curse him to hell. But he is right, damn did those words come out of my mouth must be late at night. But then all Pat has to impress is a cat or two, so that will be kept in the back of his mind although stuff he already knew. But a refresher is always a good thing, as who knows what it might bring, still say he should go write a book, least most women would give it a look, shoving it in the guys faces, Brian then might have to hide at a couple different places..lol

Oh yeah and a few new people came to rhyme in the comments below, will they come back or run out of pills avoiding my show? So now for the ad I wrote, does it have your vote, or is it more of the cat being crazy, as I'm never too lazy.

So your out and about looking for advertising options or places to put your sites link and look what you've found:

- sites that charge you $100's a week, if not day, but you figure what the hay

- then you find some sites for free, that have so many free ads visitors will flee

- oh but your on Twitter and Facebook too, well bully for you

And what do you find, when the day is done and your looking in the mirror at your behind?

First you find that option number one, which for that kind of money should really make your web traffic have fun, increasing it up and up, while you just sit and relax, drinking from your coffee cup. But lord and behold you got two whole clicks, making you think what dicks.

You go and check each great free site, as you know your ad is real tight. But where did it go? Oops it's now ten pages below. As a few hundred other sites have buried yours, look closely and half will be for the same old stores.

But Twitter and Facebook are so grand, they have to have lent you a helping hand. Oh look they increased your traffic by a bit, your sales must have been lit. Whoops not a one, as people only use those things for fun.
So now after all the work, you have no idea where else to go to lurk. Yet you hear a tale, of a great site to let your link set sail. Where you aren't charged an arm and a leg and to pay for advertising you won't have to go out and beg. Where you get not just one, but two backlinks of fun. Where you are so appreciated that a bonus has been made, with enough cash back to even help the guy in his mothers basement get laid. This mythical site can't be real, as this is too good of a deal.

Plus after your dealings with all the other crap, you instantly want to give it a bad rap. But hmmmm testimonials are all real and strong, maybe you should unbunch your thong and take a closer look because now your on the hook.

Now you can sit back and relax because you are one of the acts. No longer will you have to go through the rain and the mud, just to have your sites link buried in crud. No longer will you get the people playing for fun, on Facebook and Twitter with their Hun and No longer will you pay a huge amount to get traffic that on one hand you can count. As even if don't get one single click, you could get cash back right slick, plus the fee is less than you spend on toilet paper, so it won't cause you to get angry and expel water vapor.

But your link will remain for life, so clicks galore you should get with little strife. As together we make internet history with something new, giving one and all something to view. So no more will you put up with the same old crap, go take your lap. Join up now and become one of the many acts and that is simply the lets facts.

Yes the cat got paid in chicken for that, but it was a fun little chat, bet you never seen an ad like this, if so keep quiet or I'll hiss. So there was my endeavor for today, which I cheated and used to play. Guess I killed two birds with one stone, yes I know but that saying I already gave a moan. So as Betsy watches the kitties across her grass, Brian makes some lazy men say things crass, Pat tries to gets the  ads to amass, I will forever be a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, May 9, 2011

I'll Show Up All Of You, That's Just What I Do!

So I was on Twitter making the usual rounds, when I came across Tashtoo's grounds. I had a look and saw they were rhyming today, over at the onestoppoetry way. So I went over for a look, damn they wrote a book. But they only said there were two classifications of rhyme, now a tree I am going to make some climb. As I have one all my own, oh don't go and moan. Yes I know aliens were fun, but now something once again profound has to be done. To prove no one can keep up with me, unless you're on my back being an itchy flea. Yes I posted early too, but what the heck so sit and view.

So WaystationOne and the Tales of Tashtoo, sorry but I'm taking down both of you. As Natasha's old one was quite swell, but I'll do more than rhyme the last word in my little rhyming spell. Brian I can just make swear a whole bunch, just don't choke on your lunch, the cat wouldn't want that, so swallow before you chat. Now without further adieu, time to show up most of you. Yes the cat has a big head, would rather not be at work and in bed, but when the cat creates his own classification of rhyme, I guess I can be big headed some of the time.

To Do

An ever growing list
Plan never going pissed
Began endeavour showing fist
Scan forever knowing, persist

Expanding when days begin to pass
Outstanding sin relays herein you amass
Landing skin ablaze, chin through glass
Demanding win, praise, kin accrue class

Waiting where shadows lurk
Baiting glare, narrows smirk
Rating aware, scarecrows jerk
Slating blare shallows work

More bull arise from each word
Swore full wise, bum speech slurred
Ignore wool eyes, come leach herd
Floor pull cries, hum, screech, reword

Waiting just creates increases
Baiting distrust awaits releases
Skating robust gates creases
Equating rust straits decreases

All done within reach
Small run, thin speech
Recall fun, skin, beach
Stall, stun, begin each

Pen, wonder, you view axe
Men plunder spew, skew facts
Ten blunder through new acts
Again under TO DO stacks

Damn that was a bit rough, maybe a little bit tough, as instead of two I did four and yes as always at my shore, I made each word rhyme, each and every friggin time. So take that, now a break is needed for the cat. As Pat has things to do and I'm sure I amazed all of you. So I will let it all sink into your mind, as I give one last comment about my behind, yes dear lass, I have to say I'm a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.