Saturday, May 28, 2011

Confused Today, Here At My Way!

If you don’t like what I said, print it off and hit shred. But I’ll just come back like a pointy tack.

Tag ur it, oh don't take a fit. Just because I'm quick and you have you hands around you di.., umm wick. Yeah that will do, while I poo

To hell with nine, I’m more than fine. With let’s say a thousand or so, lives buried in a hole

I ate a whole pringle can, better than you man. The cardboard was a bit rough, but my teeth are tough.

Take off your shoes and stop with the booze, if you want to count all my rhymes, it may take a few times.

It's early and your teeth don't look pearly. Your breath is rather harsh, are you living in a marsh? Did I offend? I'm sorry my friend!

Don’t point that at this cat, I’ll whack you with a bat. Then you’ll be toothless and I’ll be ruthless.

u can't fool this cat, scare me with a bat, because at the end of each night I'm ready to a fight with my great might and my fist tight

I'm talking funny, while u make honey. Or was that money? Yeah I know ur funny, because u look like a Bunnie, with your poop all runny

Hmm I can say dump about my brown lump. Poo works for the little ones and their buns or there is the one that rhymes with hit, oh shit!

I believe I can fly and that if I try I’ll die. But that will only be one life, it won’t cause me to much strife.

The cat comes back even if you don’t have a nice rack. Because the cat is so great, P.S. I know your fate.

I just dropped a frying pan, into the garbage can. It went right in, I didn't even have to grow a fin.

Look at my height, it’s like I could take flight or just bite as I win any fight.

Do you own a hen? Can you count to ten? Are you in a den? Or locked in a pen? Do you like men? I guess that is it for now then.

You like all my old rhymes? While that isn’t a crime. But it’s time for something new and no it’s not the poo in your shoe.

Oh I want to swear now, but you'd all go wow. So what the hell, I'll ring the bell. So shit it is, now I take a whiz

I pledge to get you down off the ledge. As I can give you a push, hopefully you’ll just land in a bush.

That car can go super speed, but I want to lead. Four legs are great, but I want one of those mate.

Almost to the triple digits all you little igits. I know it's hard to count that high, so I'll pretend you can and lie

Curiosity killed the cat, because it was too fat. But satisfaction brought it back, as it gave you a good whack.

Don’t be so fickle, I’ll give you a nickel. Then you can take that and make yourself fat.

Oh I'm late for a very important date. That's from a movie I think, Oh what a fink. Am I a dink in a rink whose pink and can't blink

You think I'm a fat cat? While I should hit you with a bat. Was that scary, yeah I know I'm kind of hairy.

I am such a leader, with my twitter feeder. What you think I was going to give you food, sorry I'm not in the mood.

I’m going straight to the top and I will not stop. So you better gets used to me or go get stung by a bee.

Next time you tweet, try using your feet. I bet you won't be able to rhyme, not even one time.

Are you a clown? That wants to go down, who can’t use a noun and avoids the town? Do you wear a paper crown, is it brown?

Why do I rhyme so much? I like to keep in touch. No not with you because you are germy like poo? Did I offend? So clean ur rear end

I have tiger dna, that’s just how I play. Oh wait should have said roll, I ain’t paying no toll.

Comment on by blog, you dirty hog. I may not like you mud, but I'll put you out to stud. Does that work or am I a jerk?

Oh that many spotted mutts, would really make me hurl my guts. As they'd run and bark all day, until I made them all pay.

Oh a mystic scroll it says we have to bowl. Oh this is great, I’ll beat you again at this rate.

Maybe u should take a break, jump in a lake, get hit with a rake, make a cake, or just bake, but the u might ache and go eat a steak.

A saying I haven’t heard in a while, made me smile. So get bent. Maybe in a tent? With all your money spent, not having a single cent.

Do u go to the bar, is it far. Don't u love all the drunks pretending to be monks. Then they get thrown on their ass and become crass

I have a hunch, you'll soon be eating lunch. Is it going to be good or taste like wood?

I will rhyme all yay, but you know what would make your day? Winning a bunch of cash and throwing your crap in the trash.

Damn this flea is such a bitch, it really makes me itch. Who’d want to suck blood, I’ll just roll in some mud.

You really think I can't do that many rhymes? While spend a few dimes. Then you'll see I can even rhyme when I pee.

Do you like to use the word that rhymes with duck? And no it isn't suck.

That’s right my rhymes go every day. No matter what comes our way. You don’t like it tuff, go walk around in the buff?

I hate the phone, I’d rather get blo.., hrm ahh, known. Yeah known and shown. Didn’t I recover good there? Stop looking at my hair.

If you want to be happy, stop being yappy. Listen to this and you’ll be in bliss. I’m a fine one to talk, as I like to squawk.

Crap, I’m such a nice chap. Oh shut your trap or should that be yap. Are you on a map? Time for a nap.

You all are being bested by a cat. That has to make you fall flat. As I’m just the best and you remain with all the rest.

My rhymes are magic, I know it’s just so tragic. You just have to nip at my heels, it’s like I’m on wheels.

I’m so funny, my eyes shoot honey. I make you laugh all the way down to your calf. What was that? I’ll make you go splat.

Don't cry and rub your eye. As the beagle boys, take all your toys. Get them back, give them a whack. The Gizmo duck way, with a tray.

I hate the ice, it isn’t nice. If it wants to come down, do it in a different town.

Oh no it's another rhyme, how can I make so many with so little time. Don't ask a dumb question rather make a suggestion

Write it out, then give it a shout. No one will care, but you can still pretend it’s rare.

Don't laugh at me or I'll whack your knee. Doesn't that hurt, bah just go buy a new skirt. Oh your'e a guy? Well you could still try.

Oh crap, no wonder Twitter wouldn't open it's trap. As I tried to post my blog there and the twits go mixed up here, that's just not fair. Oh well I can blame it on plugging the lets Face it Facts all day, causing me dismay. So at least you have lots to read on my grass, hmmm could it be I was just being a lazy rhyming ass?

Later all, have a nice fall.

8 comments:

  1. whoa.

    was it something I said?
    (Betsy tiptoes out with dread...)

    I'll be leaving now
    don't have a cow...
    (or fit)

    ReplyDelete
  2. ho-lee shiznit what a rant, reading the mile long post made me pant, you sound like marshall mathers, with all your beat down hate words, hit my knee, gee that i'd like ta see, so step of the soap box, cant even carry my jox when it comes to rhyming i be triple timing, while you still climbing and crying cause you legs are dying, take the blue pill, and chill cause only one king o the hill, take yo dump, while you sit on yo rump, i go rope a dope, tour the ring, chump, must be drunk from the bar, but dont ride no car, weaving while the road you be leaving, and us never seeing your cat with a hat, no scratch that, pat, whats with the tude dude, all rude and sh-t, brute wit, wont quit til i fill the comment box, rocks sox off a fox, you chicken, yeah chicken pox, but dont eat lox,it sux, wear chucks & just a little loco in the head room, max in the bed room, and not the witches that ride brooms but my wife, she got my back mess wit me she strike strife in yo life and no need for a lead pipe, her fist got bite, trust me on that, pat, so no rat a tat tat, booyah, school ya, see ya, later player...peace...LOL

    ReplyDelete
  3. Betsy what can I say to you but look below
    Brian just made you comment lack in comparision at my show
    haha I don't even remember half though
    As I typed them a while back to use on the twitter show..lol

    What the F*** is all I can say
    You really went aboard of me today
    That was a friggin post in and of itself for sure
    Maybe I should leave and let you take over my rhyming shore
    Yeah probably not gonna happen though
    Maybe a guest post at my show
    But holy F*** I must say once again
    As you left a comment the size of ten men(and women)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well, yes he did but that's ok
    I couldn't rap a rant like that even for pay
    I'll just stick to sweet things like acrostics of clouds
    and leave the rest to you two rowds.
    haha

    ReplyDelete
  5. Hi! Pat Hatt, Betsy and Brian...
    LOL!!!! This post and all the comments are just wayyyy too funny!
    I'am at a lost for rhyming words...until I can find them I have to leave just a comment which I hope will be "fine" until next time!
    Take care!
    DeeDee :-D

    ReplyDelete
  6. smiles all in fun bro, little rap cattle blow, too much 8 mile in the blood,should step outta my hood, be good and just leave nice words, but thats for the birds...

    ReplyDelete
  7. The rhyming's impressive, but you tend to spoil it
    With so many words that belong in the toilet.
    But then again, this is
    your blog anyway,
    And you have every right to have
    your kind of say!
    Myself, I will probably never join Twitter.
    To me, brevity just belongs in the...


    ...errr...

    I guess I should use "toilet" again for a rhyme? Heh.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes your talks about your recipes and clouds
    And those Deliverence crowds
    As that you do quite well
    When you have to work in port a pottie hell...lol

    Glad I gave you a laugh or two
    I guess being a tad lazy paid off who knew
    Bah it doesn't have to be in rhyme
    At least some of the time

    Exactly screw all the nice words and such
    And you can never say to much
    As it was one of the most enjoyable comment reads ever
    And was also very clever
    So bring it on any time
    Whether in rap, poem or just plain rhyme

    Yes but when you only have 140 characters to use
    The toilet words you have to abuse
    As the good words won't fit
    So some have to be used a bit
    Twitter I despise
    Even in the cat disguise
    But can't deny that it brings traffic to the facts
    Giving more attention to the acts
    So until it's full twitter I will use
    And the toilet words I will abuse

    ReplyDelete