Friday, June 3, 2011

Back to the Drunk Ummm Funk!

If the cat took liquor, he'd just get sicker and sicker. But looking out the window I can see, a drunk nut or ten pass by me. My ears flatten as I peer out and listen to these nuts gloat, about kicking a rock. I really think they should fill their mouth with a sock. They act all happy and look like they are about to get scrappy, as one tackles a tree and yells as he bumped his knee. Oh don't fret, as this won't turn into what's the point just yet.

Even though I'm not sure tackling a tree counts as higher brain functions, maybe us pets should get an injunction. As they say we're lesser because we run around bare, yet humans get drunk and act dumber than a mare. But I suppose when a mutt goes and eats its own poo, they just make those words more true..lol.

So anyway this brought about something not done in a while, so I figured what the hell and will go at it Irish style. As I have more dirt on the old and new, who come here to view. So I came up with this little ditty, yes I know I'm nuts but I don't need pity.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

One day there were lots of tales
Then all of a sudden she went off the rails
As a parlour sprung out of the ground
Yet when it did I could not be found
As the owner started playing with a needle
I didn't really want to turn into a weedle
As she stated she'd tear my skin all apart
With her lovely art
So if a tattoo you really need
And you aren't looking to bleed
When you see The Tashtoo Parlour just run
But other than that it's a lot of fun

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

When this guy walked down an aisle
He got looked at rather vile
As an old prude gave him a glare
Yet the prude was already there
Makes one think she just didn't like getting caught
But what about the book that was bought
As it was a mighty fine requisition
Showing off position after position
Some I'm sure would take a little ambition
But performing #78 could make you see a physican
He tries them out inbetween WaystationOne
And I hear #84 was lots of fun

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

I went over to the fridge to get poor Nugget some food
Oh it is bare how rude
My Five Men eat me out of house and home
So to the grocery I must roam
Then quickly make a new concoction
Before I go to another auction
Now I try and hover over a Port a Pottie
Then I saw something kind of naughty
As oops your belly button just went pop
At least your drawers didn't drop
As with my camera in hand
Your bare behind could have got sent out to blogger land

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

The Grammer Natzi
(You spelled that wrong cat, Orson tell him to shut up and I'll send you a rat)
Isn't quite as annoying as Potsie
But I couldn't just sit and say zip
As that would give him a trip
For on nothing he becomes elated
For memes aren't his thing, which he stated
Has taken up enough space in my box
As Orson is who you truly want to see
Putting a straight jacket on the Grammar Natzi
Proving he's in charge
But soon he'll send him out on a barge
As the pet revolution will take place
And you humans will be on all fours as we flick litter in your face

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Awww did he just make you all feel bad
Never fear DeeDee is here to make you feel glad
Is exactly the sentiments of a the little suck up
But shhhh she's just being nice like a loving pup
We wouldn't want it to get around too much
As a heavy object she might clutch
And pull a Hitchcock
Going for a long walk
Attempting to find bush number three
Looking to murder me
But as she gasps for air
I'd trot off with such flare
Leaving DeeDee staring at my bush with the crack
And Yakkety Yak don't talk back

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Just remember to blame Pat for all of this
As I picked on all the ones that almost never miss
Especially the twins
Even if one is doing things that involves bare skins
Just remember I'll always share a rat burger or two
Doesn't that impress you
So to close
No matter what #101 says don't go sticking certain parts in a hose

Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!

So now lets see what kind of sass
Comes back at my little rhyming ass

Later all, have a nice fall.

19 comments:

  1. Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

    Well, now lets not forget those who live in bush three
    Two cats and Pat make up the triple, you see?
    They are an Iams eating, chicken munching, juice guzzling breed
    The place is germless and neat as can be!
    Nothing goes to waste,
    not even the Pringle Cans emptied in haste!
    After the chips are gone
    They are used for a different song.

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  2. hahaha...between you and betsy...i cant rhyme...too busy laughing...fun stuff...

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  3. hahahaha oh that was some good sass
    still laughing off my little ass..lol

    Now we're even I must say
    As you made me laugh too much to rhyme the other day

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  4. Well, I do have a little Irish blood in me!
    Not enough to bring any luck, unfortunately!
    But wait for the Fox as he has lots
    He'll have your funny bone tied in knots
    In fact if he popped a vein it would bleed green
    and he's the one that can actually sing!

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  5. It just occurred to me that this is a sad situation
    If the best entertainment is the Orlin destination
    On a Friday night
    Oh what a fright
    Our social calendars are really quite lacking
    If we come here on date night to do some chatting!

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  6. haha God knows what Orlin has in him
    As he can rhyme on a whim
    Yes the Fox could probably show us all a thing or two
    As like as he doesn't turn my kneecap into glue
    Oh he can sing too
    One ups me there and Cassie too
    Orlin who knows as you tries
    But he might be hard on the ears, word to the wise..lol

    Yes it is pretty sad
    Even more so for me by a tad
    But oh well with my luck
    I'm better off not giving a, you know, ****...lol
    So here I sit
    And rhyme like a twit
    Just a bit
    Trying not to have a fit
    Or pop a vein
    Or take a pill at my lane
    Oh look now you got me depressed
    Aren't you the best..lol

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  7. Hi! Pat Hatt, Betsy, and Brian said,...hahaha...between you and betsy...i cant rhyme...too busy laughing...fun stuff...
    my sentiment exactly Brian!
    Now, I must go and eat my breakfast...Oh!what are you, going to eat for breakfast Pat Hatt said,

    DeeDee said, I like to eat eggs, bacon, or ham, jelly, or jam and
    I like to drink my coffee from a "cup" and I'm most definitely, not a..."suck-up!!!!"

    I know [later] that you, are going to rhyme about my breakfast treat and I don't mind because I would think that was "neat"
    Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!
    Ha!
    DeeDee :-P

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  8. Pat Hatt said no such thing
    As Orlin is the king..lol
    But since you brought that into play
    To breakfast I will stray

    I think you skipped a beat
    As that is more of a feast you eat
    Is breakfast and brunch counted as one
    Eating all of that might make your shirt come undone
    Oh I won't go in the gutter right now
    As I wouldn't want you to have a cow..lol

    So with the eggs
    You strengthen your legs
    With the bacon you get some grease and fat
    And the ham you chow down unable to chat
    But the jelly
    Just doesn't quite fill your belly
    The jam helps with that
    Although it is kind of smelly to Pat
    Then the coffee washes it all down
    And now you give a big frown
    As your fridge is bare
    And you got jam stuck in your hair..lol

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  9. [Laughter! Good-one...]
    Oh! yes, Pat Hatt,I did bring the subject Of breakfast into "play," but that didn't mean that you, had to "stray" into my eating habits "today."

    By the way,good thing it's not the Sabbath or I would have to "fast" and I know that wouldn't "last..."

    Therefore, let me go with my little rhyming...Oops! blushing gurgle, blushing some more, swallowing, gasping for air!

    Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!
    DeeDee aka [The suck-up!]

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  10. Do you need me to send up a paper bag
    I could even ad an instruction tag
    Telling you blow into it
    When you're gasping for air from a fit
    Then you could reuse it for lunch
    Or maybe your breakfast/brunch
    Aren't I just a clever guy
    And a Sabbath oh my
    I don't eat a whole heck of a lot anyway
    So I could observe it for at least a day
    But then the pringle can would call
    And the Sabbath I would stall
    Plus some empty ones are needed for cat poo
    So they have to be eaten two by two..lol

    You trying to copy me
    Oh well my rhyming ass is original as can be
    So if you have one too
    Maybe we can stand side my side and compare me and you
    Although you might blush more as mine is bare
    For I have short cat hair..lol

    Look you even got a new aka
    Aren't you glad you came to play..lol

    Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!

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  11. [Laughter!] Omg!
    Like a good game Of Chess... I would say that you, "_on," but I can't because that would spoil all the rhyming game "fun..."
    Oops!
    Now, I have to "run"
    because I have to go somewhere and I don't want to be "late..."
    Therefore, I guess that are rhyming game have to end at..."stalemate!"
    DeeDee ;-P

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  12. Are you still here singing the Irish diddy
    with the funny girl deedee?
    It's like a Music Marathon
    For everyone named Patrick and Sean.
    Those are good Irish names
    and so are Erin and Shannon.
    And Fox never came for a tune?
    Maybe when I invite him he thinks I'm a loon!
    As he never comes when I mention him here
    I'm afraid he thinks it's a trap to ensnare!
    lol....

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  13. THIS COMPUTER IS ABOUT TO GET CHUCKED OUT THE WINDOW
    But I reframe as that cost money and I'd no longer be able to rhyme at my show
    Fucking viruses and other junk
    Came back and of my day took a good chunk

    But on to the game of chess
    Which I'm the winner I guess
    As you had to go somewhere
    And my rhym was more than you could bare
    Maybe you should walk so you don't fall
    Or run into a wall..lol

    Yeah she's funny in more ways than one
    But to list them all would ruin my fun
    Good irish names
    to play the music games
    I don't think Betsy would fit
    But you can pretend a bit
    Yes the fox seems to ignore after you went to flirt
    In that lost comment spurt..lol

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  14. I love the fun rhythym here
    and the silly words that appear.
    Linking within to blogs you hold dear
    could bring some to shed a happy tear. :)

    P.S. Do you ever link in at Poetry Potluck? This seems perfect for their theme this week.

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  15. Yes I linked up with those
    Who have become comment pros
    I'm sure some might not be so happy
    Or some might be sappy
    Yeah I went and stuck it in the place you tell
    Figured what the hell

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  16. Very well done great rhyming much fun

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  17. Glad it was fun
    And didn't make you run

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  18. hope that you had fun
    to have your job done.

    Thanks for linking,
    your entry makes us smiling.

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  19. Not a problem at all
    Linking at your stall

    ReplyDelete