Thursday, June 2, 2011

The Cheque Is In The Mail, With a Great Big Nail!

So the cat is back surviving yet another dimwit Drazin attack, yet I'm going to use the words of Pat, as I go on with my typical rhyme chat. As I've listened to him go on at length and my ears no longer have any strength, about the stupid postage machine, that I have never seen.

I have to go and whine for him at my show. Pesky humans should just go play in the road, in front of a truck carrying a great big load. Oh that was a tad mean you say? Well if you listen to me and into the road you stray, you're a nut that probably deserves a car imprint on your butt. Oh that was fun, now time for the mail run.

Oh and one more thing to the "Grammar Nazi", Cheque is spelled right no matter how much you plea.

From the Mail Springs Hail

As I listen to your warm up tune
I know you will have a fit real soon
So ripping the power button from your face
Would really put you in your place

Asking for a password you seem so proud
Acting is if you'd be used by everyone in the crowd
When really most would pass you by
Because you are a big sore to the eye

The first thing you do is ask for funds for you gut
So more postage can be cut
When you already have plenty in the tank
Yet you still give another clank

IGNORE is pressed
Yet you make it your quest
To cause me stress
With your wordy mess

Oh you now need ink
When yesterday you said you were at the brink
I slap the lid down tight
Uttering something to do with bite

You make some more noise
Showing off to all the girls and boys
As I reach for a nearby hammer
You quickly stop your clammer

For now all seems well
As you act as if you will excel
But the next time someone goes to use
You work for two seconds and then abuse

Now you've got me back on me feet
And I'm about to throw you in the street
Back over you ten times with my car
Yet I know you'd pop my tire so I couldn't get very far

So I slap you upside the head
Glad you can never be bred
Wishing you were dead
And would stop asking to be fed

I pull the plug once more
And you go through your start up chore
Working as if nothing had occurred
Hoping my vision has been blurred

Until that one faithful day
Where I take a hammer and nail, driving it your way
Attaching a rope around your neck
And finding the cities tallest deck

Then I'll string you up letting you suffer and hang
Until out of the blue comes a big bang
For postage machine parts are coming down like hail
And I'm at peace no longer hearing you wail

Wow Pat really does hate that postage machine, he is really mean. But the cat finds it rather funny, I'd kill it too if you kept asking for money. So there was your enjoyment for the day, as you visit my way and I will go check the grass, for postage parts with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

17 comments:

  1. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    Wow! Can you please tell us how you really feel about your postage machine? LOL!!!!
    DeeDee ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Wow...Your rhyme was super cool, and very "lean" not very "mean" as you explained to the readers, how you really feel and what you wanted to do to your postage "machine!"
    LOL!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wow two comments back to back
    But only one went on the rhyme attack
    And first with a burst
    Geez usually your low when you quench your comment thirst
    I guess the postage machine remark
    Made you need to bark
    Errr ummm come have your say
    Enjoyed the comments you left today
    Yes the postage machine must die
    Or at least fry

    ReplyDelete
  4. if you need to borrow a stamp
    all you got to do is ask
    those machines our tempers do amp
    they are barely up to the task

    all it take is a stick o dyn-o-myte
    to fix er up jis raight!

    hehe that last bit is just to darn the fox' sox

    ReplyDelete
  5. Except when you have to stamp 100 or so envelopes
    Not enough spit in my mouth, not a chance, no hopes
    So the stupid fickle thing has to be used
    Yes a stick of dynamite would certainly abuse

    Oh and look everybody joined in to make the Fox have a fit
    He might have to pull out his grammar kit..LOL

    ReplyDelete
  6. Is this machine at work
    where you blog-lurk?
    Oh, that's too bad since it seems like a jerk
    Maybe your coworkers were watching with a smirk
    as you wanted to toss it in the dirt.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Damn at the same time almost
    With our comment boast

    Yes the piece of junk is at work
    It really isn't a perk
    If it was mine
    It would be full of pine
    As I'd take it out in the woods
    Steal a gun from some hoods
    And murder the thing dead
    Yes they laugh a bit and shake their head
    As I mutter
    And bad words I utter..lol

    ReplyDelete
  8. Yes, I should jinx you but you'd still talk
    as you don't follow the rules at all.

    I can see them laughing at your calamity
    as you wrestle the old monstrosity!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I had to stop by and say hi
    and thank you, rhymer guy,
    for the FUN notes you left me
    which all made me say hehehe.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yes I'm not good with rules
    As I don't follow those set by human fools..lol

    I just keep on muttering and smacking the thing
    Oh the words it does bring..haha

    Well I guess if you went hehehe
    I should start to charge a fee
    Ok not really as that make some pop a vein
    Thanks for the visit here at my lane

    ReplyDelete
  11. Your rhyme was really cool,beautifully done!
    Love it :)

    Bullying Poems

    ReplyDelete
  12. Geez newbies coming from everywhere
    Increasing me head don't know if I can bare
    Thanks for the comment though
    And glad you enjoyed the show

    ReplyDelete
  13. Rolling strikes! the call of the day
    looks like you can throw the machine away
    For Canada Post needs a bit more dough
    Though their some of the highest paid, don't you know.
    I'd take a job, in rain or hail
    And I'd be sure you get your mail.
    Thanks be to the heavens Face it Facts is online
    And the strike will not trouble this site divine
    So there's my say, least for today
    But I'll return again to play :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes their greed is really high
    More the more you make the more you buy
    So that's the more they think they need
    So they whine and they plead
    I at least get a while ignoring that stupid thing
    So some peace it will bring
    UnlessI see them with their signs bobbing up and down
    All around town
    Then my ears will hurt
    If it gets violent blood my spurt
    Yes Face it Facts steers clear of the mail
    So that can't stop the facts from setting sail

    ReplyDelete
  15. So how was the postage machine today?
    Was it better than yesterday?
    I had a chuckle or two, or three
    just thinking about your frustration with glee.
    At least you entertain your friends
    with your animated chagrins.
    So now you have the weekend off
    and you won't have to scoff
    at the horrid machine
    until Monday reconvenes!

    ReplyDelete
  16. From the prairies to the coast
    to another Canadian
    I raise a toast
    not just a Canuck
    not just a brother
    but another true cat lover!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Uh oh you mus tbe getting old
    As you forgot what I told
    For I don't work on Friday
    So yes the postage machine was fine today
    As I never had to go
    And the stupid thing didn't have to put on a show

    Oh you played the rhyming game
    And we are the same
    At least the country where we reside
    Guess we can take that in stride
    Yes the cats will abound
    And around me they can be found

    ReplyDelete