Friday, June 17, 2011

The Good, The Bad, The Future, Oh Your Eyes Might Need a Suture!

So now I create a trilogy for all of you, with what I eventually come back to. But unlike with most crap, you won't want to just go take a nap. Plus I'm not 90-120 minutes long or so, unless you read very very very slow. Then I pity you, as that would make anyone blue.

But yes I did the ones I like, I did the ones that can take a hike, so why not do some that have not come out. Although remember not to shout, if they never see the light of day, for sometimes talk is all that comes of such a display. Upon looking and looking, not even selecting the board game ones for booking, as who cares about that trash, they deserve tons of backlash, I found sequels galore, seems to be what's in store. As if that is anything new, plus a remake or ten will be out to view. So now I will complete my set, a remake, uber secret sequel, a prequel or revision might come out later I bet. Once again setting forth down the movie tracks and that's the lets Face it Facts.

Four seems to be the new one
As up and coming there's a ton
One with little doubt is Bourne Four
Even though Bourne will be no more

Beverly Hills Cop Four is supposedly in the pipe
But Eddie Murphy's stuff in the last decade has smelled kind of ripe
Major League Four also has some talk
But I bet Sheen now is so old he'll give balk after balk

Spy Kids Four is also coming out
That one made DeeDee pout
Now they are back on Jurassic Park Four
Haven't they already ruined that lore

Oh and American Reunion is coming next year
Technically that's like the eighth one I fear
Although it's the fourth to go to theatre screens
Not much of a difference that means

Speaking of four and adding some time
24 The Movie is supposed to being after our dime
But I doubt it will ever get made
For Bauer and Murtaugh are to busy in the TV escalade

Now to skip around a bit
Jaws 5 has started the rumor mill having a fit
Die Hard 5 and 6 are said to be all but certain
After the fourth they should burn the curtain

Harry Potter, it was too big so we split it in two
When really we wanted more money from all of you
Will finally come to an end for now
Guarunteed is will come back soon some how

Indiana Jones 5 is said to be wrote
Although after 4 someone should strangle their throat
Transformers are going to the dak side of the moon
With what's his face the hated loon

Dark Knight Rises leaves little doubt
That it will be one good one on this crap boat
As Spiderman being remade more lovery dovey than before
Really makes me want to barf on the floor

Superman was just remade
But why not do it again before the rights they have to trade
Fast and the Furious 6 or whatever they call it
Has officially been green lit

Although ignoring two and three
They have at least kept up good pop corn quality
Kung Fu Panda and The Hangover just had sequels come about
But number three of both are guarunteed to be coming out

Pirates five is coming
Disney are one their knees bumming
As Depp has some sense and ignoring a fifth one for now
But it will get made when the money makes him go wow

Oh and Tarzan one, two and three
Have been set to come out with glee
Of course if the loin cloth doesn't draw them in
Only one will ever get made, what a sin

Yogi Bear Two is said to be coming
Even after the first left most strumming
How awful that garbage was
Too many reasons to state so may as well say just because

Ghostbusters three should have been made long ago
But oh no Mr. I'd rather make Garfield wouldn't show
They say it is close every year
But looks like it will never come to a theatre near

Expendables two is going to blow more crap up
Adding another trigger happy pup
Or ten
Whoops meant trigger happy old men

Iron Man three has been put to task
After The Avengers ship has cast
The later should be good thanks to Buffy fame
As Whedon knows how to play the game

Go Joe
Yep watching a second of that will make you wish you stubbed your toe
Oh but Happy Feet 2 will come soon
And you need that toe to dance like a loon

A third Riddick is also coming according to chatter
Does it really even matter
Plus Planet of the Apes fifty
Oh that ought to be really nifty

Then the Hobbit big long name
And a second with the same
Will be good but they just want cash
Which is why they went back to the shire for a bash

Then you got remakes and TV shows sprouting ones
Like The Three Stooges with their puns
21 Jump Street
Thinks it will be neat

Fraggle Rock
Might make you wish for new kids on the block
Yeah that would be bad
But a Cabbage Patch Kids movie must make you glad

Oh and a 74 year old Dick Tracy complete with diaper
Is coming to the screen, guess someone needs to pay the piper
Ninja Turtles will be remade
The third was an awful piece of trash so might be a better trade

Daredevil will be born again
I know you can't wait to see more spandex on men
Total Recall gets a reboot
Point being is for pure loot

Back to the yellow brick road with Oz
Can't they watch the old one and hit pause
The Lone Ranger will ride once more
Cowboys and Aliens will soon do battle at our shore

There can be only one
Guess not as a Highlander reboot will get done
Don't forget Winnie the Pooh
As a new one of that is coming too

The Muppets also will be back
As well as Fletch on the attack
The Great Gatsby will have another go
Even though nothing has changed from the first one don't you know

Asteroids gets a movie all its own
Yes that old arcade game you can now play on your phone
The Smurfs will la la their way in your face
Good memories of watching them it will probably erase

Tomb Raider is also going to be remade
Preventing another gamer from getting laid
Fright Night is the same
I know another remake, lame

Piranha 3DD is coming soon
As well as a Puss n Boots toon
Zookeeper about some clown
At least the animals might not make one frown

Dark Tower in theatres and on TV
Yes they are doing it for both for all to see
Horrible Bosses I'm sure we all can relate
Looks pretty good by the trailer bait

World War Z has the zombies back
On the lets eat the humans attack
But one good Headshot puts them down
Guess in that Rambo runs all over town

Lucky might be just ducky
Turkey Bowl might fill a boredom hole
Freaky Deaky might make me want to go take a leaky
The Change Up might make a good coaster for my cup

Larry Crowne might not make one frown
Django Unchained might be good if trained
Now I must put this to rest
But there are many more as you have guessed

Damn I do go on rather long, when going off on my movie song. But what the hell, maybe I'll help them sell. Or not, as most of them can rot, but you never know, a couple will make a worth while show. Now I must go before I start again with more movies I know. I know you're glad I gave you a free movie pass, as that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

52 comments:

  1. Wow, there's some scary stuff there! I mean... "21 Jump Street?"

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  2. Yep really scary and down right pointless too
    Some of those higher ups must be sniffing glue
    The guy from Superbad is in that one
    So 21 Jump Street will turn into a really bad pun
    At best
    With that pest

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  3. You should submit your movie critique rhymes to the local newspaper, Pat.
    Someone might love them and give you a chat.
    Your own little column
    both joyful and solemn
    would be most entertaining
    with you not refraining
    but telling it like it is
    in the movie making biz.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 21 jump street rocks, it was the beginning of Depp, now its pirate galleries he schleps, Indy 4 was a chore to watch, sad they jacked a fav bad

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  5. I didn't know you know your movies well.
    Die Hard was on again the other night, did you miss out Rambo? Or did I?

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  6. haha I'd probably get some hate mail galore
    If I did that with what I say at my shore
    But you know it's a thought
    May have to add that to my to do pot

    Yeah to bad any movies based off TV are usually crap
    Making one want to take a nap
    So the show may be great
    But the movie will just make one irrate
    Yep they jack them every day
    Seems only the idiots get their say
    Indy four can rot
    For it could have been done better by a robot

    Yep sad but true fact
    As I know them whether I say it with tact
    Or just plain call them crap
    I always take the movie lap
    Die Hard is one of the best action ones ever
    As it was quite clever
    Four was just garbage all and all
    Rambo is in that Headshot movie filming summer or fall
    That was my plug on that
    But at least four of that didn't fall flat
    Like the rest of the crap we get
    Better stop before I have a fit

    ReplyDelete
  7. Something tells me you'd love hate mail.
    It would just tickle you pink to have someone break a nail
    or have a fit
    call you a twit
    or pop a vein,
    driving them insane.
    Yes, you would smile with glee
    if you caused a need
    to pop a pill
    from reading your movie-kill.
    lol...

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  8. hahahaha hmmmm I think you are right
    It be such fun if the hate mail people did bite
    Sending all kinds of comments my way
    It just make my day
    Especailly if they popped a pill
    That just be a thrill...lol

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  9. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    Omg!
    I had to pick up my "Jaw" after reading your post... I thought there should be a "law" against releasing so many terrible "sequels."[Don't they know by now that the original films have no equals.lol]
    deedee :-/

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  10. Oooh...Deedee! That was a good one! :)

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  11. Hi! Betsy...
    Thank-you, for the praise...even though after this encounter my eyebrow is [was] raised...
    You Know Your Owned When No Matter If...

    Now,let see what The Hatter," will think I bet after he reads my rhyme he will say that my rhyme..._tink! lol
    deedee ;-D

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  12. Well I sure like those movies
    that you listed as sequels or pre-quels
    I would buy a ticket if I could
    to all of them premieres
    Yes, I am a big movie buff
    see you forgot to include the Twilight hulks
    Rotten Tomatoes I don't care
    As long as I get to see my fav stars ~

    ReplyDelete
  13. Well having your jaw hit the floor
    Might bring out lots of bad breath at your shore
    At least you could scare the rats away
    And not have to put on a display..lol
    Yes it wasn't bad
    Just a little stink to be had..lol

    Now don't go egging her on
    Or was being nice just a con

    See Betsy she's still not over your comment there
    You went and ruffled her hair
    Oh I love it I must say
    Of course most is in play
    Why did you have to _ stink
    _hit I could see but stink won't make anyone hit the brink..lol

    I wait for the dvd
    That way no people there to annoy me
    But Twilight oh gag me
    I wouldn't watch that for free
    Stars are a tad overrated too
    But I'm sure that you already knew

    ReplyDelete
  14. I'm not going to ruffle her hair
    I'll leave that to you, if you dare!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Pat Hatt said,"Well having your jaw hit the floor Might bring out lots of bad breath at your shore..."

    Hi! Patt in the Hatt...
    [Laughter]
    Omg! that isn't true...I'm no "dope" because I use..."Scope"
    Three times a "day" that is the only "way" and after each "meal" in order to "seal" the "deal." lol

    "Why did you have to _ stink
    _hit I could see but stink won't make anyone hit the brink..lol"


    Because I wanted to and I didn't want to be "crass" Now, I'm as I get even with your little rhyming "_ss" lol


    By the way, Betsy,
    I would never bother you, because like the [opposite] title Of a James Bond film I would probably have _ell to pay**
    Because I wouldn't be able to "Live Another Day" lol

    [**By who you may ask...By your followers, but Of course!...I can just image the scenario...I'm all a "flutter" which is causing me to freeze all over and "shudder!"] lol

    :-D

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  16. Aw, I think my followers are quite sweet
    and very neat.
    Not many would turn to violence when
    I was bothered by crazy Canadians.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh you know I dare
    I'll do it with flare
    Or just because
    I'm sure you would annoy with a little buzz..lol

    Scope three times a day
    Guess you don't want to be smelly up your way
    Seal the deal could be taken in more ways then one
    Better hope no crazy American sees it then you'd be done
    Whoops too late
    Guess that's just your fate
    Rifting on the bond film was nice
    Don't be afriad of Betsy she can take some spice
    Her zoo might go and give you lice
    If you do it twice..lol

    haha go start a riot
    You know you want to try it
    That would be very neat
    Although your followers might drag the crazy Canadians out and beat them on the street..lol

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  18. If Betsy ever gets "attacked,"
    Her followers will all strike back.
    We'll come from near, we'll come from far,
    And run you over with a car!
    We'll strike today and strike tomorrow!
    (Especially those who dress like Zorro!)

    And DeeDee, do you think this bunch
    Has brains that have gone out to lunch?
    We're not a clueless group, all told.
    No need to put your rhymes in bold.
    (And if that wisecrack's not too pleasing,
    Rest assured, I'm only teasing.)

    ReplyDelete
  19. Awww, what a loyal group of mine that follow!
    If I need them, I'll just give a holler!
    Dressed like Zorro and ready to get in a scrape?
    How can I resist a man in uniform...err, um cape?

    Oh look, the cape comes off and the Grammar Nazi appears!
    He's got a good point with his fun little jeer.
    It's easier to read rhymes without all the extras
    like asterisks and boldness and parentheses that attack us!

    No, no...my zoo is lice-free
    As I won't even tolerate a flea!
    The Mister laughs at me each day
    as clean bowls are set out for the strays
    I sweep the porch and shake out the rug
    just so they're comfy and warm and snug.
    And free from all bugs.

    lol....

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  20. hahahahaha oh that was good, that was grand
    I think I'll stay up in Canadian land
    Wouldn't want the irish mafia coming after me
    I like being able to use each knee
    Although if you bring a sword and try to give me a Z
    I'll get a gun and I think it will beat that pointy thing you see
    Even a water gun can splat you in the eyes
    Missing every swipe one tries

    You mean a loyal group of ONE
    Oh now I'm so scared I better run
    Maybe spandex is the new suit
    Wouldn't that just be a hoot
    Although certain things you could see more
    Yeah you can keep that down along your shore

    True it isn't hard to see the rhyme
    But of course each can go at it with their own chime
    Mine excuses some grammar as I go
    But what the hell as most get it I know

    hahaha I put the cats water through a filter so nothing nasty is in it
    And clean the dishes too so they don't look like a yucky pit
    I'm sure though for outside ones there is more germs in the grass
    Than what is on their little mass

    ReplyDelete
  21. Loyal group of one?
    You better run and get your gun!

    ReplyDelete
  22. A battle like that could indeed be much fun.
    'Twould not be the first time my swords's faced a gun!

    And Betsy has followers in many regions.
    All sorts of folk willing to show their allegiance!

    And speaking of "showing," there's no spandex tights
    On this Zorro, so you won't see "unsightly" sights!

    ReplyDelete
  23. A cat in tights with a water pistol?
    Will that make us bristle
    or whistle?

    ReplyDelete
  24. A sad, sorry sight as the war drums start drumming...
    We may end up laughing at his... errr... shortcomings!


    (WV is "bucracc." Fittingly enough for Pat's bloggy ways, that sounds very much like "butt-crack.")

    ReplyDelete
  25. He could always send that man in green
    we've already seen all we can see!

    ReplyDelete
  26. The cat cat fend off any attack
    He'll just throw Pat out to take all the flack

    hahahaha oh that Snake Plisken comparision was great
    I remember the computer wore tennes shoes and those other two sequels to it he put on his plate
    Bah when push comes to shove
    They'll show fake love
    And run away scared of the cat
    For I'll carry a big bat
    That is good that the sights remain unseen
    And everything remains nice and clean

    Hey but who knows what the cat's water pistol holds
    Could be germs galore, with funguses and molds
    That would scare you away right there
    Especially if aimed at your hair

    Hey as you laugh I can attack
    Winning through shortcomings I supposedly lack
    Oh the butt stuff just comes into play
    When I end the post for the day
    Or maybe a time or ten before that
    Blame it on a nearby rat

    hahahahahahaha oh I laughed at that green crack
    Yes he would surely thwart an attack
    As all would laugh or run in disgust
    And any revolution would be a bust

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi! Fox...
    "And DeeDee, do you think this bunch
    Has brains that have gone out to lunch?
    We're not a clueless group, all told.
    No need to put your rhymes in bold."

    lol
    Fox,the bold letters are aimed only at that Pat in the Hatt,...Therefore, when he attack me I want to place an emphasis on certain words as I don't want my comment to lack while my back is arched like a cat on the attack!
    [**Note:
    See Breath Insult...Oops! I meant to say rhyme...Must importantly, I'm an artist, and I know you don't mind, but we like to standout in a crowd sometimes.]

    "And if that wisecrack's not too pleasing,
    Rest assured, I'm only teasing."


    Fox, rest assured no offense was taken...I will whip-out the bold letters whenever, that Pat Hatt, get out Of hand...Oops! that will be in a few minutes or two even before this comment is even through...He is going to come back with a smart retort...not only to try to offend, but most definitely, to try and do me in...Hello! I'm shifting gears a little bit here...

    Hi! Pat Hatt, Brian, The Fox ,[and to Betsy's better half] and to all your readers, before I leave I have one thing to say... I hope that all Of you have a very pleasant, safe, and Happy Father's Day
    [Ah! now, that is a great use Of bold letters...]lol
    deedee ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  28. Grammar Nazi can have a field day there
    As you say your words with such flare
    Because you have to go all artsy fartsy in your retort
    Hey maybe you can paint the wall of my fort
    Then you can standout in the rain
    And maybe even pop a vein
    Back arched like a cat
    Hmmmm may be the Hunchback of Notredame or a little sneaky rat...lol

    Have I gotten out of hand yet
    Oh don't fret
    I'll never do you in
    As that would be a sin
    Then there would be one less to give a smart reply
    Or poke in the eye
    Shifting gears you say
    Hmmm doesn't that take a car in your bay
    Which you have none
    Oh this was just so well done

    Does it count if you only have cats
    And not any rugrats
    As the most they leave me is a present in the litterbox
    That is smelly enough to curl your socks...lol

    ReplyDelete
  29. "that will be in a few minutes or two even before this comment is even through."

    Hmmm...I told ya!
    ...I know, I know, you, have to be a leader [and flex dominion]and your blog is about insulting your readers, [your underlings]...However, you were very nice when I first communicated with you, what happened? lol
    deedee :-D

    [Oops! I meant to say...Most importantly, I'm an artist, and I know you don't mind, but we like to standout in a crowd sometimes.]and I don't paint...walls!

    ReplyDelete
  30. That is one big trick
    Suck you in then drop the big brick
    Or the cat has mood swings
    With such retorts he brings
    Pick the best one
    But you know you enjoy the fun
    Or you'd run and hide
    From my rhyming behind

    You don't paint walls
    Ahhh that's to0 bad, what about bathroom stalls..LOL

    ReplyDelete
  31. Gee, Pat, if you think the "Grammar Nazi" side of me is bad, wait until the "Rhythm Nazi" side of me goes after you for lines like this:

    "Back arched like a cat
    Hmmmm may be the Hunchback of Notredame or a little sneaky rat."

    ReplyDelete
  32. A water pistol full of germs aimed at my hair?
    Calling The Mister my better half if you dare?
    Gee, you have to have thick skin to venture on this shore
    Or maybe just a rain hat and a bigger gun than yours!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Hope the rhythm there was ok for you, Rhythm Nazi. :)

    ReplyDelete
  34. Sing to the tune of 'Love and Marriage'....

    Rhyme and Rhythm, Rhyme and Rhythm
    Go together like knife and incision
    This I tell you brother
    You can't have one without the other!

    umm..bad, I know. ha. lol....

    ReplyDelete
  35. So where is everybody?
    Am I too late for the rhyming party?


    Sigh....

    ReplyDelete
  36. Damn you have two sides that are anal
    Does it increase your nasal
    Yes it was pretty sad
    But I wasn't going for rhythm just rhyme so doesn't bother me if it was bad

    hahahahaha Oh I didn't pick up on that better half remark
    With that one I was in the dark
    But it's quite funny now
    Can see why you'd have a cow..lol

    Oh look you're here talking to yourself
    Maybe I'd sure hire a magic elf
    That way you could converse when I'm away
    Or working which just causes dismay
    Was ok not too bad
    Hmmm I guess I'll try a mix of the two just a tad

    I was watching a movie sitting on my butt
    And stuffing pringles down my gut
    What else is there to do
    How about you

    ReplyDelete
  37. I always talk to myself!
    Most times I'm the only one at home who can talk at all! ha.
    OK...that didn't rhyme.
    So here's a chime...

    No movie or pringles for me
    For I didn't do either you see
    I went to church and out for brunch
    and made sure The Mister had a hunch
    that he's appreciated on Father's Day
    although the bill I made him pay.
    lol.

    Yes, Deedee said he was my better half!
    She got me good and had a good laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I posted a recipe.
    Thought I'd give a heads-up you see
    Cause I know you'll have a fit
    as it won't tempt you a bit.
    So go ahead and pop a vein
    when you do you so entertain!
    And you could even pop a pill
    just don't fall out the window sill!

    ReplyDelete
  39. haha yes I talk to cats
    They meow back but I can't understand their chats
    You made him pay oh how rude
    He should have been like oh dude
    And made you dig out your money
    That would have been funny..lol

    I'm sure she did
    Then she went and hid

    ReplyDelete
  40. Oh it's only a five foot fall
    So unless I whack my head on a cement wall
    I should live
    But thanks for the heads up you give

    ReplyDelete
  41. If The Mister had called me 'dude'
    that would have really been rude
    and yes, I'd still make him pay
    as his checks are bigger than mine any day!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
  42. hahahaha I knew that one would get you going
    So I said it full well knowing
    You'd come back on it
    With a little bit of a fit..lol

    ReplyDelete
  43. haha...yes, by now you know how to yank my chain
    so I'll post recipes that cause you pain.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    Speaking Of rude,
    Hey! dude, I didn't mean to be rude when I said, that you use to be nice I still think that you are nice...

    ...However, I do think that you spew out sharp rhymes like arrows at your readers, "Achilles' heel," but I guess that give you such a tantalizing "thrill"lol

    Hi! Betsy,
    Yes, Deedee said he was my better half!

    Hey, Betsy,that not true...I would never have a good laugh on you...By the way,
    I don't think there is nothing wrong calling your Mister, your better half...because half and half = a whole! lol

    Most,importantly, that just mean "spouse" if you don't believe just check this definition out:My Better Half lol ]

    deedee :-P

    ReplyDelete
  45. Well then I'll just post nasty pictures of stuff
    That puts one in a huff
    Then they won't want to eat
    A single treat..lol

    Oh now look she's trying to back out
    Rearranging because she thought she made you pout
    See the suck up moniker sticks
    But never fear we all can take our licks
    If we couldn't we'd run away
    And never come back here to play
    Yes I remember all
    So can yank ones chain whether small or tall
    Oh and never laugh at her you say
    Oh I get it you laugh with her every other day
    Right?
    Oh I'm on tonight..lol

    ReplyDelete
  46. "back out" indeed!
    She said it and it's there for all to read!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
  47. hahaha that's right don't let her off easy
    That just be cheesy

    ReplyDelete
  48. Hi! Betsy...
    Please don't listen to that Pat in the Hatt, he is just an "instigator" and guess what?
    I'm going to be just like Schwarzenegger's "Terminator" and a lesson he soon will learn and I want even have to use a gun...Hey! that sounds like really big..."fun!"

    What is she going to do to him? Is she really going to do him in? Or will she have a change Of heart? and just pop his bum in a toaster like a pop tart?

    To Be Cont...[Insert Overly Dramatic Music...lol]
    deedee :-P

    ReplyDelete
  49. Oh so scary you are
    Giving definitions out at my bar
    I want even have to use a gun????
    Shouldn't it be won't? Oh you screwed that up a ton..LOL
    So you are going to come back from the future you say
    Then you'd be old and grey
    A tad too slow
    Plus your memory would go
    And you'd never be able to catch me
    I could just walk away to flee
    As you shake your cane
    Too old to even pop a vein...LOL
    Plus I think my bum is a little to big to fit in a toaster
    Unless you had one the size of a roller coaster
    Oh scary music I'm getting chills
    Whoops wait that just more bills..lol

    ReplyDelete
  50. Pardon not Pardom me grammar Nazi part deux Oops! I made a mistake [and a not so vital mistake]...Therefore, what are you going to do file a lawsuit against me too!
    LOL
    deedee :-P

    ReplyDelete
  51. oh tee hee
    this is most entertaining to me...
    to be continued
    I can't wait
    deedee knows how to throw out the bait!

    ReplyDelete
  52. You're mistake wasn't hidden or idle
    So I had to point it out, at least it wasn't in the title
    Lawsuits take way way way to long
    Plus it wasn't that wrong
    But I don't pardon you
    So soon your rhyme jail sentence will come due...lol

    Hey since she knows how to bait
    Why don't you set her up with your raccoon mate
    Maybe then she'll catch him for you
    And have a new friend that is so true...LOL
    Oh that just worked rather well
    I know damn me to hell..haha

    ReplyDelete