Oh this just had to be played with at my way, after going over to The Lair of Silver Fox's hideaway. Where he was supposedly on vacation from writing, guess that urge he is still fighting. But it was mentioned how in superhero land no one ever stays dead, not even if they get shot in the head. So I figured I'd see what I could do, with all the ways to come back that are far from new. Also maybe make fun of a few, that I remember from a view.
Damn I got stabbed in the heart, got wheeled off on a cart, even a body bag thrown over me, yet two seasons later I come back with such glee. Even when it was declared officially I was dead, no matter how much one begged and plead. Showing up Jack Bauer who died twice, but mine was much better as it was done with spice.
Oops I died, wait they lied. It was really my friend's, cousin's, niece's, dog's, former owner's, boyfriend, yeah we just hope your confused by the end. So you'll take it and won't have a fit, glad the dust wasn't bit and continue to watch as you sit.
Look at me as I'm back, the real me not some hack. As what you saw was a clone, that got blown up by that phone. Oh the one in the car was a clone too, same with the one who drowned in the deep blue. As was the one in the fire and the one that died so dire. You get the point yet? I'm the real one, until I die, so don't fret.
I'm your son, daughter, mother, father, brother, sister, dog, cat, bum you walked by or just some strange guy and I'm from the future where you die, don't worry I won't let you get stabbed in the eye. Oops I made a mistake, guess I'll go back and try another take. I promise you won't die more than a few times, as in the end you'll be alive and continue your chimes.
Oh no such and such is dead, wait where is his head. Huh there is no blood, what is up with you bud? Damn a spark, that's going to leave a mark. Oh he was a robot and the real one is just caught.
The poor guy is dead, with not even a shred of his body left behind, for one to find. I'm not dead you nuts, I wish I could punch you in the guts, but my hand goes right through, as I have shifted out of your view. Be it another reality, dimension or mechanical interaction, I can't get a reaction. Even though I seem to go through walls, people and doors, yet I can somehow still stand on the floors. Hmmm go figure that, I even go through the mat, but not the floor, oh look I'm back once you hit restore.
Hmmm, what the? Where am I? Look out you're going to fry and then die, some might cry. Oops you're dead, no matter how much I plead. Ok now you're walking down the road, carrying a load. How can that be? You have to come and see. Turns out he's from an alternate reality you say, oh the things one can do today.
Oh wait that alternate reality excuse has been used and overly abused. Let's go with the tried and true, he's the long lost twin of you. That's right seperated at birth you were, now in a quick blur, one is toast, the other might also roast, as the bad guys think your him and you might have to fake it on a whim.
Old age you say? Bah I was frozen beneath the ocean, in some bay. I only age half as fast, making my life span vast. Oh I cured that long ago, no I found a ring that gives me immortal powers don't you know. Nope I was bitten by a vampire and only got the good parts, meaning I don't need to eat hearts. Heck I just found a genie and made a wish or ate a yummy dish. The fountain of youth was found too or I'm just held up by glue.
I ascended and wasn't really dead, that was all in your head. As I can take human form once more and all will be as it was before. No harm done, I can now go back to fun, whoops I died again, oh I mean ascended another time or ten, so now I can come back, no matter how many times my stuff you pack.
Never fear if all of those have been used, we'll just mix and match no matter how much each is abused. Call it a different name, so it won't look so lame and you'll be alive once more, until a cliffhanger or sweeps week comes and we once again need you to take the death tour. Or you ask for too much money, then we'll kill you and think it's funny.
That was rather fun, I can come up with a ton. But I will spare you all of going on and on, as these ones usually, in some way or form, are what make the dead walk across your lawn. I didn't use voodoo, nanities and many more, as writing them all out would make my fingers sore. Have to save time for the lets Face it Facts, so you'll have to use your imagination to go down those tracks. So when your favorite hero or villian goes to the grass, you now know they'll always come back thanks to my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.