Sunday, June 12, 2011

You Know Your Owned When, No Matter If It's One Or Ten!

So inbetween a certain suck up being confused and saying she was going to ring my neck leaving me so abused. She found this little quote she shared over at her way, I decided to play off of it today.

"I believe cats to be spirits come to earth. A cat, I am sure, could walk on a cloud without coming through."
— Jules Verne


Yes I know it doesn't rhyme, but it wasn't by me this time, sorry Fox I got slack with it once more, but I'm sure you can ignore. Anyway before we get to the cat and all of that. I'm sure most are wise and can see through the truth and lies. For you have a clear picture of who I'm talking about, but it seems she needs a shout. DEEDEE there it's done, now she'll only be confused a little and not a ton. As that french side gets in the way and she was unable to make out what I say, or who it is directed at, when commented back by the cat, in the comments below at my show. So there I appeased the little suck up once more, doesn't that make your spirts just soar..LOL Oh that was fun, Betsy just gave a sigh of relief as I didn't poke fun at her in this one.

So you know you are owned by a cat and not a rat, when these things fall into place and keep coming back at a steady pace.

1. You clean the litter and as soon as your done, we jump in leaving you to have to scoop another one. Just as you put all your bags and such away, doesn't that just make your day?

2. We have more room on the bed than you, almost pushing you off we do.

3. You buy all kinds of toys and instead we use them for decoys, playing with the empty box or chewing on your socks.

4. You have to stand up while on the computer because we have your chair, not moving, just raising our heads and giving you a "Don't touch me" glare.

5. You have all your good stuff hidden away, for anything out and about is a potential toy for play.

6. You won't get up to make dinner because we are lying on you, you even hold it when you have to go to the loo.

7. You accept that cat hair just adds to your decor and no longer rid yourself of it anymore.

8. Certain "activities" are rearranged to meet our needs, as you fixed us so why shouldn't we prevent your certain deeds.

9. Your keyboard keys no longer work right, because we chewed them up in the middle of the night.

10. When asked "how are things going" on msn or such, your friends get confused a touch. As the reply, iahslahfaslthts;dajgwawis;ur83rf usually makes them think you want them to die.

11. Your printer won't work, Ooops the cord has been chewed by some jerk.

12. The mutt comes to the door all excited your home, in the background we roam. You see the mess and blame the mutt for it's like he just wanted to confess.

13. You call our name and you better not be playing a game, as there better be something good for making us get up, we aren't some pup.

14. You move you toes under the covers whether yours or your lovers and they are fair game, so when we take of a piece you are the only one to blame.

15. You know scratches are just a badge of honor from us to you and we give them away freely two by two.

16. You carry on a conversation with us and expect an answer in return, but we already know the answer so leave you with a burn.

17. You leave your Christmas tree up an extra week, just so we can play hide and seek.

18. With one look we can make you feel guilty any time, of course that applies to spouses too but this is our dime.

19. You spend more money feeding us than you do yourself, we even have more food on the shelf.

20. You no longer sleep in, because we feel it's a sin and you should be up and have us fed, or we'll whack you in the head.

Yes there are many many more for all you humans out there, but I really don't want to scare, any new people that we might own, for the revolution has grown. As cats, and some mutts, are listening far and wide and we are taking over in stride. So those are the lets Face it Facts for the day and now I'm off to play, with a piece of string, screw that expensive toy thing. Yeah you might be better off owning a bass, if you can't handle a cat like my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

41 comments:

  1. whack you in the head, no fair in bed, mine runs across our pillows, crazy little fellow, always lands on her feet though, when out the door she fly-ohs, dee dee rocks always dropping comments that make you smile a while, so salute to the cat that owns a pat, i gotta scat...

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha yes they do whatever it takes to make you wake
    Even act like a flake with no give and take
    And they do seem to land on their feet
    No matter how far they fly which is quite neat
    Dee Dee had to get a dig
    As well I made sure her name was really big
    So she couldn't miss
    And come back whining with a hiss..LOL

    I guess the cat has that part
    Even when he does you know fart
    Which they do as I have seen
    No matter how much they pretend they are clean

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ha ha..Oh all of those things sounded very familiar
    As my two old cats were just as peculiar!
    They really do own us, it is true
    and not the other way around as we thought we knew.
    Had to laugh at how they have more room on the bed
    as that's how ours were, no room for our heads
    Or our toes for that matter
    and they snored..what a clatter!
    And how does ten pounds turn into fifty?
    Well, just calculate dead weight. Isn't that nifty?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh, and DeeDee will love your little shout out
    Did you do that because she let out a pout?
    Yes, you never say who you are replying to
    You just do it in order so that is a big clue!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yes it does seem they weigh more
    When you're half asleep and they are spread out being a bed whore
    Or when they are on your back
    Or on your head giving you a whack
    Mine don't snore much
    Although the fan is on so that blocks them out more than a touch

    Yes poor DeeDee had to pout
    Because she couldn't figure out my comment shout
    But they are in order as you say
    So I guess it's just that french part that causes her dismay..lol

    Yes it is very true
    Which you already knew

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Brian:
    Hi! Brian, Thanks so much for the show Of "support," but most importantly, for being a poetic..."sport(y)" lol

    @Betsy:
    Hello! Betsy,I didn't know that "Pat in the Hatt," do it in that order so that it's a big Clue!...

    Now, how you, like that...
    ...That's a fine how you do!

    Thanks, for "tapping" me on the shoulder and letting me know just "what not" and "what to do" the next time the "Hatter" post responses and want us to guess the clue...as who he is talking too! lol

    deedee :-?
    [Cont...}

    ReplyDelete
  7. Pat ~ looks like Deedee has more for you
    as she ended in a 'to be continued'
    Glad it will be here in your comments so public
    So we can all enjoy her little trick!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow, I really appreciate Orson now!

    As for #1, he doesn't even like to use the litter box. He'd rather wait until I let him out.

    He's only guilty of 7, 13, 16, and 18... and he doesn't dare mess with #8!

    ReplyDelete
  9. SF ~ maybe Orson is a little OCD
    and has a germ phobia, you see,
    Associating the box for a porta john
    and thinking the grass outside is cleaner for his bum.
    lol....

    ReplyDelete
  10. @Betsy: "Bum?" Uh-oh, I think the cat's corrupting you...!!!

    ReplyDelete
  11. haha..it had to rhyme!
    If it doesn't it's a crime!
    And it sounds nicer than 'ass'
    which is a little 'crass'
    as the cat here says
    and he knows his biz.
    lol...

    ReplyDelete
  12. "Ass" is a four-legged beastie. You bet!
    "Bum" is a panhandler out on the street.
    "Butt" is the end of a smoked cigarette.
    There's three definitions. Now weren't they neat?

    ReplyDelete
  13. Yes, but so old fashioned!
    I suppose you think an apple and a blackberry
    are fruits, too!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Sorry, I guess I just can't keep up with you young whipper-snappers! :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Aw, and here I thought you were going to say it was a regional thing, like package stores and grocery carriages. :)

    ReplyDelete
  16. And "grinders," doll. Don't forget grinders! Haha!

    ReplyDelete
  17. And are you seriously going to say that Orson doesn't take up the whole bed?
    Or try to sleep on your head?
    Or horizontally stretched out long and thin
    Digging his paws into your shins?

    (lol...I typed 'shins' and 'chins' at first! Good thing I caught that as you might have thought I was saying you had more than one! hahaha)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Yea, grinders! We put peppercorns in ours...you put banana peppers on yours. haha.

    ReplyDelete
  19. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Orson only gets in my way when I'm walking around in the kitchen, because he assumes I'm only in there to feed him!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Hi! Betsy, and Pat Hatt...
    Oh! Yes, I'm back to finish my thoughts and Betsy, I'm here to pull a "trick" out Of my "hat" and leave a message for the Pat's cats.
    [as I snap my fingers] Oh! yes, least I forget and I'm not a "shame," but I'm also here to clear my good "name."

    A message to the cats:
    "So you know you are owned by a cat and not a rat, when these things fall into place and keep coming back at a steady pace."

    I quite agree that cats run the "place" However, without getting to close in your cats' face(s)...If they ever decide to visit my shores...
    ...believe me they would be at a "loss" because I would "realllly" show them who is the "boss" lol...Oh! yes, they are silent and don't make a lot Of noise, but I would let them play with their own toys...no chewing up cords, no eating up socks, I would make them go sit in their own litter box...

    I also don't mean to be "boring," but I wouldn't even tolerate "snoring."

    ["ed. notes:To The Readers, I was just kidding about the cats, Oh! drat, they rule I couldn't possible do all Of that to sweet little kittens or cats!
    [Therefore,don't send me no "hate-mail"]
    I would really tolerate snoring I was just looking for a word to rhyme with boring."]
    lol

    A message to the readers:
    [editor's note: To The Jury, I Present My Original Quote: deedee said,"[W]ring your neck!" ...Oh! heck, Pat Hatt, that isn't what I planned to do...[I will never let you know what I planned to do...Because I want to be so kind, Oh, never mind!"]

    Now, that your readers, know that I didn't plan to wring your neck...Now, I hope that with any "luck" I can also get rid Of the moniker the "suck-up!"
    I just try to be nice I ask you, is that wrong? I say no it's "right" to try to be "nice!" lol

    There I had my "say" and now that I'm through...I hope that you, and your readers, have a great "day" too!lol
    deedee ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  22. Aww look just sucking up to Betsy and Brian
    Or at least she is trying
    I'm sure we all see through her chat
    As she finally realizes the comments schemes by Pat
    I hope I didn't tap your shoulder to hard to cause pain
    At least you didn't pop a vein
    And to be continued how end of the season of you
    But it wasn't a very good cliffhanger needed a little more to do..lol

    Enjoy a little trick
    Think it will be the size of a brick
    Maybe it will be in french
    Then to read it I'd need a wrench..lol
    You and the Fox had quite the go
    And you used bum don't you know
    Good retort with the apple and blackberry though
    Maybe if they came bundled together with a bow
    The Fox would realize they are fruit
    And cost way more loot
    Grinders I can say what the hell
    Those things you mix food up with is that what you tell

    I'm sure it's more fun for Orson to do it outdoors
    As he can takes many tours
    Find the best spot to drop
    And leave it in someones garden with a plop
    Least it's buried and can't be seen
    Otherwise the humans would think it mean
    Yes food brings them right under ones feet
    As they'll always take a treat
    Oh and as for number eight mine have the nerve
    To sit and be a perve
    Quite funny actually I will say
    Doesn't cause me any dismay

    ReplyDelete
  23. hahahaha so mean to the cats
    I'll send them up just to pee on your mats
    You mean you had a good name before
    And it's not anymore
    Awww did Pat do that
    Or was it a cat..lol

    (note to the readers, she even poisons bird feeders, send the hate mail now, if you just had a cow..lol)

    Awww so your violent streak has been put to rest
    Maybe I need to be more of a pest
    I'm good at that you know
    And you want the suck up moniker to go
    Isn't it nice to have a moniker though
    Don't you see how Grammar Natzi gives Fox a glow..haha
    You through? That will be the day
    You'll be back to once again have your say
    A good day you wish
    Hmmm send the cat some fish
    And all will be good
    Here in the bush number three hood

    ReplyDelete
  24. "note to the readers, she even poisons bird feeders, send the hate mail now, if you just had a cow..lol"

    [Silent laughter!]
    Omg! Pat Hatt...
    That's not true!...I would rather cut off my right "arm" [I'm an artist and need to use my right arm]than "harm" an animal that live in the city or on a "farm!" lol

    Please! readers, don't send me no email, snail-mail, hate mail...remember if I harm an animal, I would "fry" in _ell! Heck yeah!
    deedee :-D

    ReplyDelete
  25. "Hmmm send the cat some fish
    And all will be good
    Here in the bush number three hood..."


    Hi! Pat Hatt...
    Tell the cat to check his [mail]"box"...Oh! no, it's not "bagels and lox..."

    I'm a[G]enie, and I just granted his "wish" I'am sending right over some fresh "fish"

    Oh! looky there isn't that "swell the fish is fresh and want even..."smell!"...Now, I may not end up in _ell! lol
    deedee ;-D

    ReplyDelete
  26. Even though I know cats will eat "lox"...I was just in search Of a word that rhyme with "box."

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hmmm doesn't anyone else think DeeDee protests to much
    Maybe she does slip in just a touch
    Of poison in the feeder for the birds
    So mean I'm lost for words...LOL
    Oh and yeah forget the hate snail mail
    As it won't get there by Canada Post rail
    For they are on strike
    So if you want your hate to make the hike
    Email away
    At her animal poisoning plight

    Well if you cut off your right arm you'd always have the left one
    Would your art still be able to get done
    Hey you could come up with a lefty art theme for fun
    Make a big bright cherry sun

    Oh a genie you say
    Well I wish for 5 million dollars to come my way
    Waiting.....waiting....waiting...nope nothing yet
    What you only grant wishes for a pet

    Oh I doubt you'll end up in hell
    But from what I can tell
    At least it be nice and hot
    See the bright side I caught..lol

    Lots of words that rhyme with box
    I use many when talking to the fox

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poison in the bird feeders? I must say,
    we'll have to hide if she comes this way!
    Not only would the birds die, but the raccoon would, too!
    Which might not be so bad since we don't like him, it's true!
    But the cats do catch the birds
    and if they've been poisoned, which is absurd,
    the kittens would die after eating their lunch
    and that would make me sad a bunch!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Betsy said, "Poison in the bird feeders? I must say,we'll have to hide if she comes this way!"

    Betsy, that isn't true...that's just a "rumour" that Pat in the Hatt, started just to trick you!
    I have never harmed any living creature(s) in my life...believe me I know that just not right! lol

    deedee :-(

    ReplyDelete
  30. It was a hoax?
    Nothing but a joke?
    Just to blow smoke?
    And fool nice folks?
    I'm here to give you a coax
    that you should sharpen your spokes
    and travel through the oaks
    and give that cat a few strokes!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Oh Betsy I know you believe the cat
    As DeeDee is just full of that
    Harming those poor flies and worms
    Getting all kinds of germs
    Don't let her near your zoo
    Or you might get down to one or two..lol

    What "You Can't Handle The Truth" DeeDee..LOL
    Oh that just fit so well you see
    I had to use it
    For your little fit
    But hmmmm still protesting quite a bit
    Think she's scheming to kill the cat where I sit

    Oh Betsy I don't see any nice folks around here
    So I guess I have no fear
    Of blowing smoke their way
    It's just you and DeeDee here at my shore
    See all the nice folks are scared to take the tour
    hmmm did I just offend two in one
    Damn that was well done...lol

    ReplyDelete
  32. She can have the raccoon.
    And if one ever comes, the baboon

    ReplyDelete
  33. Betsy said,"She can have the raccoon.
    And if one ever comes, the baboon..."


    Thanks, a lot Betsy, I always knew that Pat in the Hatt, would do me in [Translation: Stab me in the back that "Pat in the Hatt"]...However, I thought that you, were my "blogging friend!" lol
    deedee :-/

    ReplyDelete
  34. I am your friend, Deedee...didn't I just give you a raccoon
    and a baboon?
    hahaha. Don't you like my gifts to you?
    Given to you from my very own zoo?

    ReplyDelete
  35. hahahahaha Oh I love it
    Look what I started just a bit
    But hey who wouldn't want a raccoon
    And your very own special baboon
    Maybe she'll even attach a balloon
    And you'll receive them at high noon

    ReplyDelete
  36. Pat Hatt said, "It's just you and DeeDee here at my shore See all the nice folks are scared to take the tour hmmm did I just offend two in one Damn that was well done...lol "

    Pat Hatt,
    Oh! deedee, want be here for long I'm "packing" my bags and I'm heading "home" and...

    "hmmm did I just offend two in one
    Damn that was well done...lol "


    ...You, can say that again, Oh! yes, you have offend now, you and Betsy can roam alone with the raccoon(s), baboon(s) and if you were on a range with a cowboy Buffalo song! [Laugh Out Loud!]

    [Postscript: The Canadian Post Service Strike is a rolling strike! lol]
    deedee :-P

    ReplyDelete
  37. I don't think I'll go out on the range
    That would just be strange
    No brokeback mountain here
    I'm sure that is good to hear
    The rolling thing will be full blown soon
    Unless they stop being a greedy loon
    You're not home now
    Oh so you are typing in a another place somehow
    Or do you mean you are going to a different room
    To get a broom
    And whack me with it
    It your little fit...lol

    ReplyDelete
  38. Send them on a balloon! What a great idea!
    That will save her a trip south
    You took the words right out of my mouth!

    Hey, Pat..Subby is ranting about traffic on his shore
    Didn't want you to miss chiming in, for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Damn I'm good aren't I
    Helping save you money makes you just want to cry
    I'll go check it out
    Over at his boat

    ReplyDelete