Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Going To The Extreme With a Pyramid Scheme!

I had this idea for the next onestoppoetry show and figured I'd give it a go. Not a clue where it will take me, but that we shall see. Don't worry I'm not here to steal your dough, it's not that kind of scheme just so you know.

Eyeing the Divides of Four Sides


Upon High
Those dwelling below
Reaping what they sow
Enjoying spoils earned by others
Denying many the right of druthers
Clasping on golden cheeks as you commune
Speaking as though you lost your silver spoon
Stage acting, mastering the art of appearing self reliant
Securing new means of keeping deemed to be insects compliant
Finding amusement by extending the rift as you increase your divides
Wanting absolute leveraged dominion, amalgamating base to peak of the four sides


Well dry
Finding all take
Piggy Bank doesn't shake
Perfection of luck and savant
At meeting basic needs, not want
Disgusted at the tone of the condescending
Spurting out claims of worth yet result pending
Mindless to the claims they stroke with failed intentions
Excuses flow at the mouth when scrutinized on past mentions
Undertaking strains attempting to conserve feeble stature in the lingering divides
Wishing beyond stars luminous glow advance position to peak amassing four sides

Sigh, deny
Blind by land
Head stuck in sand
All about object of me
Neglecting the true worth of free
Comparing value to that of a megabit
Worrying when threatened the me benefit 
Creating walls that stretch the length of your domain
Yet not satisfied still clamoring with the need to complain
Ignoring accomplished deeds constraining the rift as you protect your divides
Needing absolute leveraged dominion, deceiving base to peak of the four sides

Gasp, apply
No middle ground
Go Go tightly wound
Stopping to see the time
Counting the days left of prime
Refusing to stop for a simple gesture
Back burner singeing skin yet letting it fester
Positive course set forth will attain your reign above
Crossing lines, doctoring agendas, worth soul loss and forgone love
Unknowing of solaces contemplation invisible as you increase your divides
Establishing your gained dominion, maneuvering base to peak of the four sides

Wanting absolute leveraged dominion, decimating base to peak of the four sides
Finding amusement through destruction of the rift depleting all that divides
Reputations grand stature rears its head lighting the combustible flame
Loss upon gain, tugging for position, opinions rightfully claim
Eye stabbing eye creating endless plague of blind
Screaming blame savagely at all other mankind
Dragged through hells gate refuting war
Surrounded by darkness ever more
Attempting to ask why
Eye stabbing eye
Wise guy
EYE

So I guess I really went all eyes on deck with that, had to poke fun here at my mat. At myself of all people you say? It isn't the first and won't be the last time at my way. Also props to anyone who saw what I did there, as not only does the eye have flare. It was a tad tough to get it to work, but consider it an added perk. As the words are a pyramid themselves too, yes have another look and you'll see it's true. Line one has one and line two has two, I think you get the drift as I bid adieu. Didn't go past twelve, as I'd need a new shelve and that is simply the facts as you went down my One Shot tracks. Now enough out of my hot air mass, as I remain a little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

70 comments:

  1. yikes. a grisly tale you portent, i wont pretend i need both eyes in i, at least i hope to keep it that way, today , tomorrow and the rest...when it comes to rhyming art you are the best.

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  2. wow how creatively done. *clap hands* to the master of rhyming art ~

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  3. All hail the cat most high
    For he really is the rhyming guy
    And now he goes all form~like too?
    Where pyramids and explosions ensue!
    Bravo dear Pat (or cat if you wish)
    You've presented a fantastic little dish
    For your oneshot at onestop today
    I am truly impressed, I really must say
    But we always knew you were a class act
    And that, my friend, is a Let's Face it FACT!

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  4. Very nicely done. I can't even come up with a good smartass insult.

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  5. Had no idea where it would go
    But figured I'd give it a try at my show
    Yep lets hope the eye stays that way
    I wouldn't want an eye to up and run away
    Art can rhyme
    I never really thought about it much, guess I one upped the mime

    Yippee I get a hand clap
    As you fell into my pyramid trap

    Don't know how form it was
    Just used it that way because
    It worked with the idea
    As always nice face it facts cheer
    Yeah explosions are fun too
    Thanks to Anubis I was able to use that, it's true

    Gigantic smile
    Lasting a mile
    I left the Fox without a smartass insult
    I better watch it the Grammar Nazi might revolt..LOL

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  6. This is truly brilliant
    your rhyming is resilient
    Yes, it's even art, too
    and that's what makes you, you!

    All corny rhyming aside...this was 'wicked, sick cool' as my twin might say. :)

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  7. Awww you just want to see if my head will explode
    Or implode
    Being all nice
    Even with some nice twin spice
    And yes my rhyming bounces back
    Always on the attack
    As I eat a mice snack
    Try to be sharp as a tack
    And not a hack
    Going down the track
    Now I'll stop this act
    And that's just a fact..lol

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  8. sugar and spice
    and everything nice?
    Yep, that's me
    thanks for noticing!

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  9. And then you go and only half rhyme
    But you were so nice I'll forget it this time..lol

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  10. this leaves me just speechless pat - you are such an artist..and probably a mathematician as well...this is awesome

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  11. Given my accounting job and gambling days
    Yeah the mathematician part can apply in many ways
    Artist might be pushing it a bit
    Not that I won't take it..lol
    Great reply for being speechless too..LOL
    I just had to play on that, thanks for the feedback from you

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  12. I'll bet Peacock would say it can't be "art," simply because it rhymed, right? *sigh*

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  13. Oh Geesh!
    Both lines ended in the long e.
    Besides, there are no rules
    unless you're turning into one of 'those' poets.
    ha.

    OK here you go...

    Don't be full of spite
    and pick on things so trite
    getting all uptight
    just be full of delight
    and sip on some Sprite
    and enjoy the night
    it's not all black and white
    there is no horse and knight
    no cause for any blight
    or rules for wrong or right
    I'm flying the rhyming kite
    until it's out of sight
    can't even measure it's height
    rhyming off just a slight
    bit. Still think it's kinda tight
    Fun to recite
    in it's own right
    won't stop for the red light
    or get stage freight
    more fun that a flea bite
    laughing with all my might
    hey, this is alright
    no need for a rewrite
    don't want to over exite
    so I better take flight
    there, I see the exit light....

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  14. @Betsy: I wanted to write something springing off of yours, but couldn't come up with a rhyme you hadn't used. Can you sympathize with my plight?

    Hey...!!!

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  15. Yes, that is a plight
    you could try with all of your might
    but with you I must tread light
    always fear to over exite.

    giggling...(ducks) lol....

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  16. A host of private jokes are fine,
    Stacked neatly in a little shrine,
    And giggling is oh, so cute,
    As I put on the Zorro suit...

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  17. Yeah Fox you are right
    That is probably what he/she would spout day or night

    DAMN you made up for that
    Yes the long e worked it was just said fast by Pat
    So it was my fault
    So I owe you a pound of salt
    Would you like that
    I'll send it on back the cat..lol

    Here Fox I'll help you out
    As Betsy forgot a few in your shout

    Oh that screen is bright
    How about adding another gigabyte
    It's like a construction site
    But the words are easy to write
    See I can put up a fight
    But I feel your plight
    So your rhyming I ignite
    Glad you got my invite
    Aren't I just so polite
    Don't be uptight
    As your rhymes I incite

    hahaha that's all I could think off for now
    I think we hit most some how

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  18. I think you forgot your cape, sir
    You can complete your look with it if you prefer,
    I'm impressed you suit up in this heat
    and your chivalry can't be beat!

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  19. yep, Orlin you made up for that
    but you are the little rhyming cat!

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  20. I forgot it? Or did someone take it as a souvenir?

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  21. Look you got the Fox so excited
    You made the Grammar nazi feel uninvited
    As you didn't even spell excite right
    Oh I have to stop using these rhymes until another night
    And I don't need to hear the foreplay
    So go roll around in the hay..LOL

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  22. She couldn't go with me to a haystack!
    She's married, and that's a Face It Fact!

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  23. Just being a gent, as you complimented,
    And trying to be coy. And I haven't relented!

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  24. Orlin, If you don't stop pointing out my misspellings, I'm going to crown you GN, Jr.
    You'll have to turn in your hat
    and wear his little badge.
    I'll make you eat blueberry pie
    without chicken nuggets by and by.
    Besides, spellchecker didn't catch it! ha.

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  25. Yeah, Orlin! And even the Grammar Nazi was too polite to point out "freight" instead of "fright."

    Oops...

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  26. You're all turning into peacocks is all I can say
    Oh, look at all your beautiful tail feathers today
    they're sprouting out your backsides with every comment
    and for a couple of gents, it's not very gallant.

    lol....

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  27. For some the whole married rule doesn't apply
    Just look at that Arnold guy..LOL

    Trying to take away my nuggets and making me starve
    I won't eat no pie you carve
    Don't you know not to rely on spellchecker yet
    After each and every Grammar Nazi fret..haha

    hahahahaha love that little remark
    But she has some bite to her bark

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  28. So if I fan my tail will you come and gock
    You'd probably pull a feather sending me into shock
    Oh look nothing on my backside but hair
    Guess I'm not quite there..LOL

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  29. "Oh look nothing on my backside but hair."

    Gee, thanks so much for that little visual, haha!

    And Betsy, what's a proper married lady like yourself doing, checking out or feathered backsides???

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  30. oh look GN has an error.
    tisk tisk.

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  31. You visualized my butt
    That's as bad as a sniffing mutt..lol
    Very true
    What is she doing looking at the place that creates number two

    Oh he did
    hahaha heaven forbid

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  32. Awesome rhymes. I love how you structured the poem.

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  33. Ah, yes, "or" instead of "our." Must be the heat of the moment, or... ummm... I was misquoted?

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  34. Ok...this is getting too crude
    I'm rescinding the 'gents' name as you're both rude
    and maybe even a little lewd.
    gotta go now as chores are calling
    have fun with your brawling!
    lol...

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  35. I love the little touches in this: "Back burner singeing skin yet letting it fester" Yikes!

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  36. Thanks for the feedback
    The structure just came as I went on the pyramid attack

    Probably the later
    As you got too enulfed with the chatter

    haha never said I was a gent
    So no need to repent
    But crude is fun
    And you are the one
    Who started this path
    But I won't do the math..haha

    Yes the little touches can make them that much more fun to read
    Thanks for the comment on my feed

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  37. Head spinning I seem to do
    Quite well between me and you
    Guess that can confuse
    Then all will think I can't lose..haha

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  38. Very creative piece Pat. I missed the # of words going through, obviously I saw the pyramids, and even made a note regarding they were pretty consistent, which is hard to do. But completely missed the # in each line. Well done. Really enjoyed this piece:)

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  39. Good thing I made note of it at the end
    Then you fully noticed the trend
    Yes it was quite the pain to make work
    But I had some time to sit and lurk
    Thanks for the great retort
    Also glad it made sense of some sort..haha

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  40. You are brilliant :) great!

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  41. Wow, now that was cool! So creative, yet quite poetic! I can't imagine how hard this was to get it perfect.

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  42. This must have been extremely difficult to do and yet you nailed it, which tells me you are a genius. Note to self: remember Pat is a genius and you are somewhat slow!
    I never understood the connection between poetry and math until this piece. There's math in there somewhere I think with the pyramids and the four sides. The most brilliant secular thing I've probably ever read.

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  43. Pat-
    crazy cat,
    you sure need
    a hobby, yes indeed!
    You make my head spin
    no contest, with pyramids you win!
    Thanks for stopping, though you didn't tarry,
    at my blog, my box. Signed, Other Mary :o)

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  44. A little bit brillant
    And a tad resilent
    I'll take that
    Just helps the ego of Pat..lol

    Yeah it took a little bit of work to do
    But I played with it here and there for a few
    Then poof it came together
    And I went out and enjoyed the weather

    Brillant and a Genius damn
    I'm soon going to hear the doors slam
    Locked up in the nut house with a straight jacket on
    Not knowing if its dusk or dawn..haha
    Oh math and poetry was the least of my worries when I tried
    Guess in the back of my mind it did hide
    And came out
    As I went about
    This one shot
    Here at my rhyming pot
    Thanks for the great retort
    Here at my fort

    Really cool
    From the rhyming fool..haha

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  45. I need lots of things
    Maybe a pair of wings
    Actually wouldn't this be sort of a hobby
    Maybe I need a less boring jobby...lol
    Better pay be nice too
    But now I'm getting greedy it's true..haha

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  46. My heart was racing as I kept reading each stanza. I felt the urgency in your words. Pretty amazing and I give you permission to rhyme in my comments anytime :)

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  47. Whooaa!! *applause*
    It really gets pretty lonely up there.. doesn't it?!
    You painted a realistic picture, Patt.. and superbly too!!

    The structure was not only clever, but was amazingly done! And I am becoming a HUGE FAN of your rhymes... woohooo!!

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  48. Inventive I can be
    Dark and light all the same to me..haha

    Hopefully it stopped racing
    Maybe I'll work on the pacing
    Would want to bring about an attack
    That would just be the wrong track..haha
    Amazing works for me
    Oh and I can rhyme that causes such glee

    haha more claps for me
    Extending my head across the sea
    Hmmm if I was up there I might know
    But I have quite the ways to go..haha
    Realistic in a rhyming way
    Who knew it would work as I play
    Huge Fan is nice too
    Thanks for the retorts by each one of you

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  49. you've gone scholar since i last saw you mr pat hatt!

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  50. hahaha well I don't know about that
    I'll have to try harder to fall flat
    And just be a funny cat
    With my rhyming chat..haha

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  51. WOW very cleverly done ....thank you

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  52. A great concrete poem- love the last triangle! very powerfully inverted/subverted :-) Nicely done

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  53. Cleverly done
    Can be lots of fun
    Thanking me
    For you coming to see
    Hmmm sure that works
    Maybe I should give away perks..haha

    Concrete I can pour
    Here at my tour
    Thanks for the retort
    Here at my rhyming court

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  54. Intelligently constructed and a clever marriage of form and content.

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  55. Yeah I tried to mix them together rather well
    Thanks for the great feedback and coming to sit for a spell

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  56. Wow.... Very imaginative, in every way imaginable. Love the way you typed the words to also fit the pictures too. Fabulous writing (for a cat in a top hat );)

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  57. Yes never would have figured a cat could do this
    All they do is usually hiss
    The words were a pain to make fit
    Had to switch a few around a bit

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  58. I enjoyed everything about this, the architecture and the words blended into brilliance.I sit in awe at how you can place words like "amalgamating" so perfectly in poetry! ~ Rose

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  59. The eyes have it!

    Good poem, Pat. Truly good poem.

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  60. haha I chuck the big words in to look bright
    They just fit in so tight
    That they look great
    On my rhyming plate..haha
    Yeah the architecture of it took a while
    Trying to make it pyramid style
    Don't sit in awe too long though
    For asleep your leg might go..lol
    Thanks for the feedback
    It sure didn't lack

    haha knew the eyes would come into play
    Such fun to pun them in some way
    Truly good you say
    That doesn't cause any dismay

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  61. Wow, excellent style and flow.

    Anita.

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  62. Glad my style wasn't vile
    And my flow wasn't, you know...haha
    Thanks for stopping by
    Visiting the rhyming guy
    Errr ummm Cat
    With a nice hat

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  63. I'm really diggin' your style
    my experience here: far from vile
    my mind is slow and slacking
    my rhymes are really lacking!

    wonderful one shot! First time here...have no fear...I will be back...um, er...jack..(man, I need some coffee!)

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  64. Glad it wasn't vile
    Or a big, you know, pile
    Hey the rhymes were grand
    I'll even give you a hand
    Back on the comment attack could have worked too
    But I don't mind being called Jack, as I've been called worse, it's true....LOL

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  65. Wow! You really went far, but you describe them well... pyramid schemes are evil. They deserve your words. LOL

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  66. haha yes they are crap
    Made up by some scammy chap
    So don't fall for the trap
    And that's the end of this rap..lol

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