Thursday, July 28, 2011

I Need My Rubber Room, So Much Doom!

So once again old WaystationOne sparked an idea and away I had to steer, from what ever other crap I was going to say. Guess I'll save that for another day. As Brian gave the best way to go, when you leave this earthly show. At least I would agree, as I'm sure would many. But you can go there for that, as it's fun time for the cat.

So the cat consulted the oh so powerful all seeing eye for the Face it Facts and found there were 8 million ways to die through various acts. Oh look a movie reference too. Haven't I already impressed you. Now I want to cower in my rubber room. Wait a second I could eat the rubber and that would spell doom.

So here is what the all seeing eye said when it appeared on some weird fortune teller's forehead.

You could step on a tack
Have a vein popping attack
Get a paper cut
Be bit by a mutt

Fall off a ladder
Be poisoned by a Death Adder.
Get mauled by a bear
Take a stupid dare

Drive off the road
Car could explode
Drown in a lake
Falling through a crack in an earthquake

Fly off to Oz in a Tornado's whirl
Choke on a pearl
Or some chicken bone
Just from the sight of your huge loan

The classic fall off a cliff
Be beat up by Biff
Poison yourself with more than a numb tongue
Travel to the old west and get hung

Could get stung
Maybe pop a lung
Waking up dreading work
Or just being there not able to lurk

As you push on a seat with a hole
Try climbing a flag pole
Some Drazin nut
Get too big of a gut

Some germy flu
Slip and bang your head in the loo
Cut with glass
Shot in the ass

By the very air
Cellphones too I swear
A lightening strike
Run over by a bike

A dam could break
Could swallow a file in a cake
Do any of these you like
Oops I'm a big fake psych

Stupid fortune teller leading me along, with her big fake song. Only getting forty of the eight million there are, for me to share at my bar. Brian's still wins of course she also mentioned a mishap of his twin's. Hey at least you'd already be numb and then some..haha

But one thing is for sure, if you didn't take the death tour. You sure would when you saw the bill, boy those funeral people must get a thrill. Burn me and stick me in a pringle can or two with such glee. Then use me for kitty litter for all I care, I promise I won't even swear. Then it be cheap, you'd even recycle and save a whole heap. Oh I can even poke fun at my eventual fate. I know I'm just that good don't hate. But I could still find the fountain of youth and take a pass, forever wiggling my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

15 comments:

  1. grizzly deaths, its so morbid.
    don't want any of it, heaven forbid
    i wish you a blessed day instead
    because we will have a long weekend ahead ~

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  2. Some aren't that grizzly though
    Others yeah I wouldn't want to strike the fatal blow
    Blessed day wishes work though
    I have a 17 day long weekend at my show
    So it's all fun and games
    Hopefully nothing mames..haha

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  3. OK, that was rather fun!
    I'd agree you'd need more than just a tongue to be numb.
    Although the tongue feels dead
    the rest of you lives on with dread.

    I agree Brian's way is the best
    All fun if you dare
    and a smile to spare
    Can't beat dieing in your sleep
    Just so it's fast and doesn't creep
    that's all I ask
    when I take that pass.

    Ashes in a Pringles can or two
    oh now that is just so you!
    I agree about the expense of embalming
    that is just outrageous and not at all calming
    if you know all that they do to you
    makes you want to be ashes, too!

    Although that is all kind of glum
    it's fun to think of your tombstone hum
    Yours will have to be in rhyme
    since you do it all the time!

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  4. haha I'll take your word for the tongue fact
    As I don't really want to try that act
    Yep can't beat Brian's way
    Causes no dismay
    Exactly make it quick
    And that will do the trick
    hahaha I was looked at rather strange when I said the pringle can thing out loud
    In front of a crowd
    But hey I'm long gone
    Dump the ashes on the lawn..lol
    Expense of it all is crazy
    All that they do I'm a little hazy
    And that way I'd rather remain
    Or really could pop a vein
    hahaha yeah I'd make sure it was in rhyme
    Heck I'd tell all who see it to drop a dime
    Then come back and take the cash
    Hundred years or so there should be a good stash..LOL

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  5. ha. love all the ways to go,
    a few might make me smile though,
    not just delicato flagranto morto
    two popes went out that way you know

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  6. whoa...seriously Brian
    you ain't lyin'?
    I'm sure they were glad they died
    instead of facing the facts of what they tried.
    lol...

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  7. Yeah sure there are a few more smile enducing ones
    Out of the tons and tons and tons
    Hmmmm damn never knew that fact
    Guess they literally were caught dead in the act..LOL

    Rifting on the facts are you
    Such fun to do
    Yes I'm sure they were glad they didn't have to stick around
    To see how they had been found

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  8. Entertaining as usual Pat. Just got done reading Brian's so it was a good segue. Now that was a lot of fun, two poems back to back, but I agree what Brian wrote would be the way to go.

    Side not: love the Biff reference, If I'm thinking of the same Biff, I'm assuming he'd beat you up before he turned all jabba the hut-like lol

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  9. hahaha yeah you got the reference well
    And yep Brian's way would be swell
    Glad it was a lot of fun
    And not taken too morbidly under my rhyming sun

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  10. Saw the movie reference two by two
    And had to stop back by to see you

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  11. Damn been a while since I seen you here
    Guess you ran away out of fear?..haha

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  12. "As you push on a seat with a hole
    Try climbing a flag pole
    Some Drazin nut
    Get too big of a gut

    Some germy flu
    Slip and bang your head in the loo
    Cut with glass
    Shot in the ass"

    [Laughter!]

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  13. I wonder who you could be
    Really fooled me

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  14. Hmmm I have a friend who begrudges paying for her funeral so, she is being buried in a biodegradable cardboard box! Good for her! LOL

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  15. hahahaa hey that works well
    Not expensive as hell
    And environmetally friendly too
    Sounds like a very good plan it's true

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