Saturday, July 30, 2011

So dVerse I've Hit The Brink, Drives Me Right To Drink!

So Pat's been on vacation for a week and another he has before the end of his streak. Of course he drug Cassie and I along, which was so wrong, as we got plenty of Face it Facts on cats of all sizes shapes and acts. It was not a fun vacation for us, as all those cats made me kick up a fuss. Plus as you know they aren't very good for the pet revolution, as I think their brains skipped an evolution.

Yes some are just that dense, they can't even rhyme or make sense. I'm a cat that even knows the density of water you see, 1000kg/m3. Oh I used Google you said, bah put that thought out of your head. Either way I'm pretty dVerse. So now you get to see why all those cats I curse and why I drank a lot, as I had to hiss and spit at every single spot.

Oh water how I valued you as all these cats started to accrue. You kept my mouth wet as I uttered each and every threat.

I spit so much at this one he dropped dead, either that or decided to sit on his head. But after that he left me alone and didn't even phone. How water you helped me survive, allowing my hissing to strive.

This chubby one could have sat on me. But the water made her jump away to have a pee. Actually it looks like she's about ready to do number two, but hey scared her away and less I had to do.

This one decided he would rather be mailed away, as poor little old me caused him too much dismay. I guess it's good there is no more strike or he might have had quite the hike.


Maybe if I try to blend in he won't see me. Think cat tree, think cat tree, think cat tree. Oh damn here he comes, I hate water for letting him hiss and flap his gums.


Damn how do those ostriches do that. My head just won't go through the mat. Oh no it's that spotted thing, get me some water and your theme song I will sing. Does that make you want to leave me be? Maybe if I think cat tree?


Just like a mutt to show his you know, but I sure like hot dog on the go. It's just good he wasn't full of water there or he might have try to further yellow my hair.


Cassie took over a round for me. Two on one as you can see. I drank back the water as fast as I could and that was all from Cassie as she became a lump of wood.


Yep Miss Priss told me to take a hike after that, as she said she was too smart a cat. As those ones were just too easy to take for they were all fluffy and fake.


This guy had something in his water I think or he had really too much to drink. As he either really had to go or was kind of drunk not knowing which way to go.


He thought acting cute would get him a reprieve, but I quickly made that notion leave. As I rolled him right out the door and then let the water pour. He was quite heavy to push, boy did I miss my bush.

He tried to head for higher ground as he didn't want to drowned, in all the commotion I was making. But I did my job as his knees were quaking.


I chased this one right out the window. She couldn't hand a single blow. I shut the window tight as it poured all night. She sure got her fill. I don't think the water gave her a thrill.


This one was the toughest of the bunch, as he wanted to make me lunch. But I sure showed him, as he remained up by the ceiling trim. Never coming down thanks to me, just peering wishing I'd leave his sea.


So take it from me. The next time you get dragged on vacation like a busy bee, make sure to pack a water bottle or ten. It could save your life so jot that down with a pencil or pen. I sure sucked back the water at my watering hole and if dVerse was the goal. I guess I had plenty of that, thanks to that dumb human Pat. So now I'm home and done scaring them with my spotted mass and can just rest my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

38 comments:

  1. no! this one really gives the chill, too many cats, too much fur, and nothing will rhyme with jump! what is it about water again? i'm out of here.

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  2. hahahaha oh those scary kitties give you a fright
    Couldn't have been a good sight
    They made me suck back the water to fend them back
    From their ongoing attack
    Rhyme with jump?
    Ummm hump, plump, pump, gump, trump, dump, lump
    Guess the kitties got you all confused
    As I stated how I abused..haha

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  3. Love the two with the "laser eyes." Heh.

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  4. haha yeah they tried to go all sci-fi
    But really it was just contacts in their eye
    Mine are real though
    Just so you know

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  5. You're going to have to pardon me for not rhyming tonight :) Hope you enjoyed your vacation, and I might be one of the few around here that is not a cat-lover. I'll have to try and dig deep and find some feline affection, so you don't kick me out.
    Enjoy your evening of poetry!

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  6. hahaha I won't give you a kick
    As just liking the rhyming cat will do the trick
    The rest of them the cat finds ick
    And would like to hit them with a brick..lol

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  7. That is a heck of a lot of cats.... LOL
    I don't know where you fins the stamina from to write all of this on one go~!

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  8. hahaha the picture loading was the worst
    Kept interrupting each rhyming burst
    I can go on and on and on
    Once an idea does dawn..haha

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  9. ha glad you had a good vacay, threw back water thats the ways, specially is you spit and hiss, gets realy bad when you are too dry to piss, de-hydroed heads feel like they'll burst about as bad as this rhyming comment verse...

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  10. hahaha hey it worked out pretty well
    Although grammar nazi might balk at how you spell
    The cat had a bit of fun
    Making all the other furballs run
    Water he did drink a ton too
    Hissed so much he barely had to go to the loo..haha

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  11. Well, welcome home, Orlin!
    Gosh you are a pretty cat!
    You and Cass are gorgeous and that's a fact.
    So you're done terrorizing mom's felines
    and at them wiggling your behind?
    I've been busy reading
    but stopped to send your greetings!

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  12. ok, this is just funny. I need a think cat tree. The drunk cat was my fav. thanks, for sharing your cute little rhyming ass with us, Orlin. oh yeah, tell Pat to fill up your water dish so at him you can hiss.

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  13. This one really made me laugh. I love how the "water" theme plays out here:

    I spit so much at this one he dropped dead ...

    David

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  14. I love the photos! Just brilliant, thanks Pat! :)

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  15. Ha! This is fantastic! I came for a light, rhyming expression of the prompt and found a fabulous tail... tale. Thanks so much for the little vacation into giggles, happiness and rhyme.

    Beth

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  16. so tell me, do cats really NOT like water?
    i have none..
    this was fun and great pictures too!!!

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  17. ha..ha.... fun post indeed.

    hope you have a nice vacation ~

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  18. Yes prissy Cassie thinks she is as well
    But I like to be scary as hell
    When all the other cats run
    That gives me a smile as it's such fun
    Busying reading you say
    Well I guess if something has to keep you away..haha

    haha Pat just filled it up ten minutes ago
    So now I can hiss at him on the go
    Yes think cat tree if you must
    But I gauruntee like the fluffy one it will be a bust..haha

    Saw water and vacation at dVerse when I went to lurk
    And figured why not as it did work
    Yeah Orlin the rhyming cat isn't just a rhyming thriller
    He's also a cat killer
    Who knew
    Guess now all of you..haha

    haha the photo of Cassie and me priceless I agree
    But the rest just annoy me..haha

    Brillant once again
    Whether using on cat or ten..haha

    Oh I defintely keep things light
    Each and every day and night
    But doesn't mean I can't wave a tail
    That usually doesn't fail
    Glad I could make you giggle
    As my behind I wiggle..haha

    Some hate it
    Having a big fit
    Others tolerate it enough
    But find it rough
    Although Orlin loves the water most of the time
    Maybe that's what makes him rhyme

    Yes so nice just sitting around
    No work to be found
    Of course probably be bored after a while
    But I'm sure something would end up in my pile

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  19. As always a charming write my friend! ~ Rose

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  20. Glad I can could charm
    FYI in the making of this no animals were given much harm..lol

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  21. haha - so you were on vacation as well.. cool - you always make me smile with your rhymes pat - your writing is refreshing like a bottle of water.. smiles

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  22. Hi! Hatt...
    I'm here to comment on Orlin and Cassie Cat...[See next comment]
    Oh! by the way, This is to Drazin I have to say...
    One Of your commenter thought there wasn't enough words to rhyme with "Jump" how about this witty little ditty for that punk:

    Drazin I wish that I could hit you over the head with a "lump" Of "coal..."
    Because you are a "chump!" Oh! yes, I'm being bold! lol That's good!


    deedee :-P

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  23. Pat Hatt~
    The photographs [Of each cat] and Orlin's captions are all very nice...not like Salt and Sour, but Sugar and Spice! lol
    Thanks, for sharing!
    deedee ;-D

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  24. Rephrasing:Drazin you are a "chump" I wish that I could hit you over the head with a "lump" Of "coal..." Oh! yes, I'm being bold!

    lol That's good! No, That's better! like a cool drink Of water after spilled wetter! lol
    deedee :-P

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  25. Pat, really great post. Thanks for posting all the pictures, they're great, and the captioning played right on through. It definitely looked like there may have been some cat planking going on, just a hunch lol

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  26. No Way! Pat you are bloody brilliant - you made me produce laughing liquid and i didnt make it to my litter tray... you are the funniest dude with the best ryhming skills... and im sat in a puddle!

    Cats...amazing creatures...i once came face to face with a big cat in its own back yard and in one look it saw my soul, told me how easy it could kill me, pointed out that on his mountain he was king and if i wasnt on my merry way a.s.a.p it would chew me up easy and suck my bones dry... I was to dazzled by his beauty to be frightened.
    Afterwards I shit myself!

    Amazing creatures from another world.

    Lovin your words Pat

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  27. My familiar I call cat
    But no his names not Pat or Hat
    Just a crazy boy named slims
    Who always, ALWAYS plays to win
    So we have water, we have cats
    And we have you Sir Cat in Hat
    What better way to spend the day
    Than reading your words while I vacay!
    So from the beach I'm shouting back...
    And that, my friends in the Face it Facts :)
    Enjoy it! (I can imagine how desperately it was needed knowing where you work,)

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  28. Yes, reading is keeping me away.
    And I'll still blame you, if I may!
    Oh I'm sure Orlin that you love to scare
    as all of those hisses told me there
    At least Cassie sits up on a perch with the others
    It's like they are leaders in a courtroom! ;)
    Still, I bet you are glad to be home
    where you're king where ever you roam!

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  29. It's always fun to go away
    but nice to return to one's own driveway.
    So many interesting cats in this poem!
    But I am glad they don't live in MY home.

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  30. Damn well I was lazy about
    Many came to give a shout

    Yeah the pictures added to the fun
    Helping with the story I spun

    Glad I can be refreshing with my rhyming..stuff...umm..crap..umm whatever
    Hopefully I'm not overly clever
    As I wouldn't want to be a big water bottle
    Or my throat you may want to throttle..haha

    Drazin has long gone
    Guess after hearing your babble he just moved on
    Hey at least you can bore him and scar him away
    Back to his own bay

    hahahaha I forgot about the planking
    When the rhyme stuff I was cranking
    But clever little rift on that
    Could have used that for more than one cat..haha

    hmmmm not sure if that's good or bad
    As a puddle could be unsanitary just a tad..LOL
    Never seen a big one outdoors up close
    But if I saw one that made me look like a mouse
    I'd be on my merry way quite fast too
    Might even shit myself like you..hahaha
    Yep amazing they can be
    Even when just gazing to see what they can see

    Look at you
    On vacation too
    I clued in to familiar as well
    So tell slims Orlin wasn't thinking what the hell..haha
    Shouting back from the beach
    Guess you have quite the reach
    hahaha oh you must have had fun with that last line
    But I'm on vacation so those Face it Facts I won't have to whine..lol

    Blame poor little old me
    Maybe I should climb up a tree
    Yes Orlin loves it when they run
    But sometimes he chases as he isn't done
    Cassie mingles as long as they leave her be
    As she like the big cat tree
    hahahaha oh the Leaders you say
    Those guys should just go drown in a bay..LOL

    Yep nice to come back
    Sleep in your own sack
    Walk around bare
    Oops was that TMI with this does of cat hair..LOL

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  31. Hilarious anti-poetic anti-cat poem. Miaow.

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  32. Yes anti a whole lot
    Although sometimes not
    Except all those cats
    The rhyming cat would like to swat them with bats..haha

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  33. Ever consider changing your name from Pat Hatt to Cat Man? or at least make that your superhero alter ego.

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  34. haha as long as no spandex was involved that might work
    I could have a tail spinning perk

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  35. Lovely visuals. It is revealing! There is that special relationship even between known sworn enemies, cats and dogs. How did you do it!

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  36. Yeah they have their own special relationship
    At least most do as their tails whip
    They pretend not to like
    But really I think most just enjoy the fight hike
    No idea how
    Just works some how

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