Monday, August 8, 2011

Getting All Touchy Feely, OK Not Really!

Wouldn't it be nice if things didn't magically move, like they have their own groove. Mr. Pen seems to always disappear, while other crap gets mixed with other gear. As all touchy some can be, when I'm not there to see. Yet with my memory I know, when things move an inch or get up and go. So a little payback I decided to play, plus to keep those nasty germs away. By the sounds of it, I may have just caused a bit of a fit. Oh but doesn't that make me grin, when I'm not there I still win.

Off I go for a few weeks
Avoiding climbing any work peaks
When the fun starts
And desk things magically grow moving parts

But I've been down this road before
So this time it was war
Saving up some junk
That didn't work in some funk

All in a bottom drawer
Or in a box on the floor
Where no one could see
My junk saving spree

Aww but what was the point
To make a nose or two go out of joint
Plus you can keep your germs
Now you know my terms

As you take my pen
But where's the other ten
Oh well it's here and you will use
Shake, shake, shake damn it no ink will ooze

Wait it's all out
Oh but there is no doubt
These drawers have some hidden away
Yank, yank, yank, damn they won't open today

Their locked where's the key
Oops forget I took it with me
Leaving my pens in one place
And no germs I have to erase

You need a staple quick
Push, push, push is this some kind of trick
Then damn thing is empty too
Shouldn't there at least be a few

But oh the tape gun has to work
Lets give it a good jerk
Damn it a two inch piece is left
Can't even do some sensible theft

Yippee the highlighter works though
Damn it after a line or two it doesn't show
You have to sit in the chair
Whack, ewww eeee ahhh, the pain you can't bear

Why is it up so high
You whacked you knee thanks to that guy
For something clean it's sure a danger
At least the postage machine isn't a stranger

Error, error, error call for service
Now your getting nervous
Nothing works in his square
You're going to pull out your hair

You'll phone your shrink
What no signal damn it, clink
Guess you should have stayed in your own space
You will leave a note telling him to replace

What not even a sticky
So clean it's icky
Hell with this
Your desk you miss

So the moral of the story is, if you want people out of your biz, save up some junk, hide the good stuff in a trunk and let them play with the crap and pretty soon their "using your things and leaving it everywhere" routine will snap. Don't you like those facts and how I can think ahead with my dirty little acts. Now crap will once again start to amass, for the next time I want to sit at home on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.


  1. Oh, that was so cruel and clever!
    I bet they would say "Well, I never!"
    If they knew you set them up like that
    saving all the crap with which to attack!
    You must have spent the whole last day
    setting up the traps to keep them in disarray!
    I can just see the smirk on your face
    as each thing you put in it's place.
    Reminds me a bit of Home Alone
    and the pranks to make the burglars groan!

  2. This entire scenario was like a microscopic look into the past, when I had a cubicle, in a room with 8 others. We travelled a lot, like 8-10 months a year each, and every time anyone came back from a trip they all said the same or very similarly themed things, myself included, who gave me the bum chair, where's my sharpies, pencils,, how come the desks have been rearranged, or even worse our office tended to shift a lot, from one building to another, floor to floor, in my ten years there we moved offices 6 times, And of course no one would tell anyone anything, and the 2 consistent folk, who were always targets numbers 1 and 2, always denied and played dumb. Doug almost caught them the one time as he was home early and came in and spied without knowing, but of course no dice. Anyhow it's all both surreal at times and quite annoying most others. The only thing none would ever admit is that perhaps, outside the chairs and moving, we were in such a rush to go on a trip or vacation we just packed up everything and thus did it to ourselves- this theory was never put under investigation therefore remains as nothing but a possibility. Great time warp for me today, thanks

  3. hehe hope you enjoy the time away, what are you doing for vacay, little OCD eh? i would probably move them for fun, just to see you run when you return, i'll trip your traps then take a nap cat...

  4. Where has Brian been?
    he thinks your vaca is about to begin!

  5. I admire anyone who can rhyme. I believe it is the most challenging of any poetic form. And u have it mastered. Bravo! Hugs!

  6. hahaha I love cruel
    Making one look like a fool
    In a good way though
    Oh I loved the home alone reference you know
    My traps definitely wouldn't hurt as much as those
    A brick to the head like the second one sure would strike a dead pose
    Not the whole day just some
    I spent the rest being a little rhyming bum..haha

    Damn that must have been a pain in the butt
    Quite the story you got
    I'd definitely be in disarray there
    I'd even swear
    Over and over again
    Cursing all the women and men
    Who kept moving my things
    Of course I'd give return stings
    As I could play that game
    And wouldn't remain tame..haha

    Damn I think Brian went to the past
    As I already had a vacation that was vast
    But he goes here, there and everywhere
    So his brain my be a tad overloaded from the wear and tear
    hahaha oh two can play at that game though
    As payback is quite the bitch don't you know..haha

    Yep Brian is out of the loop
    Blame it on the dVerse troop..haha

  7. You admire me
    Isn't that nice to see
    Challenging it no longer is
    As rhyming is my biz..haha
    Actually it never really was before
    One day just picked it up and rhymed forever

  8. Your verse is always such fun!

    An thanks for participating in this week's Limerick-Off!

  9. Not a problem at all
    Enjoy the limerick off call
    As it is fun
    Now I've got to run
    Down some crappy work hall

  10. Pens without ink
    Staplers on the brink
    Phones that done work
    and no paperclips lurk
    Where did your rubber bands go?
    and your highlighters all in a row?
    I just need a piece of paper
    not to be caught in your little caper!

  11. Are you a little OCD? I'm not, but I have CDO...that's almost the same, except the letters are all in the right order, like they're supposed to be!

  12. ha..ha... what fun to read this dreary and raining morning....reminds me of what I did over the weekend ~

  13. My rubber bands where hid away
    If I don't they'll take them so I can't play
    Or snap one or two as they walk by
    Low so I don't put out an eye..haha

    hahaha cdo is much better I will admit
    All in a nice order so there is no fit
    Guess that makes you worse than me
    When it comes to cdo or ocd..haha

    Yeah all we are getting is rain
    It's such a pain
    You did it over the weekend
    Guess it's a growing trend..haha

  14. "Yippee the highlighter works though
    Damn it after a line or two it doesn't show
    You have to sit in the chair
    Whack, ewww eeee ahhh, the pain you can't bear"

    this happens wid me so many times :)
    Nice read as ever !!

  15. hahaha yeah I whacked my knee quite a few times too
    Isn't very funny, but goes numb after a time or two..haha