Sunday, August 7, 2011

Nothing I Say Here Can Prepare You, Or Maybe I Just Don't Want To!

So the TV people are whining that they haven't got one, like my oh so much movie fun. I guess now's the time to appease and give the TV Face it Facts a squeeze. Yes I know all this crap in my head is such a curse, but I suppose it could be worse.

Although any reality TV crap, will not get a clap, or a call, as I'll send that for one big fall. I'll bury it in a grave so deep, that no one will ever hear a peep. From such and a such a person who seeks fame, walking down the street, acting so big, when really they are just lame. But who is the bigger baffoon? The one doing it like a loon? Or the ones who actually watch this drivel, causing their brains to shrivel? Oops did I offend, sorry that part I can't amend.

Oh wait I couldn't offend those guys any way, as just look at the time of day. The Hulk Hogan show is on, oh wait is he long gone? I meant some pee wee herman thing or some other bimbo who can't sing. I guess they really must thank God for machines, helping to better their routines. Damn I really went off there, I didn't mean to, I swear.

So as they watch 24 hours a day
The crap I wish Buffy the Vampire Slayer would slay
Watching another's Life from bed
Mozing along like The Walking Dead

I've already crossed the Threshold
Taking a Quantum Leap that's bold
Moonlighting as a rhyming nut
Until Day Break comes and I leave my hut

Going by another Alias to work
In Plain Sight I still lurk
Avoiding germs like Monk
Getting Lost in everyday junk

Counting Numb3rs everywhere
Saved by the Bell and outta there
Royal Pains in by behind
Something The X-files might have to find

Least I can avoid Warehouse 13
I'm Justified in thinking that place is mean
Californication be scary too
As The 4400 or so there might sue

Maybe Las Vegas is the place to be
That C.S.I. crew I wouldn't want to see
As they'd be looking at my Bones
And I could here Angel moans

As I go to The Dead Zone
I'll avoid going Due South and stay on my throne
As Dexter could slash me up
Even with Kung Fu that be a hiccup

The Magnificent Seven
With The Lone Gunman make eleven
That might be enough to stage a Prison Break
Psych they just went to fish in the lake

Smallville might be nice
I could pass through Roswell twice
Might see something Supernatural there
Stargate type aliens would make me swear

They'd cause Tremors all over the place
War of the Worlds we might face
Could run away on Battlestar Galactica though
Or find Sanctuary and not go

Eureka that's it
Chuck could have a fit
We could get the Early Edition
And send Dark Angel out on a mission

With the Gargoyles too
We'd have a Full House before we're through
Might be a few Growing Pains
La Femme Nikita could pop some veins

Those White Collar guys might get killed
Xena Warrior Princess might be thrilled
Unless Family Matters
Then the Heroes will make sure nothing shatters

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia they say
Jeremiah told me as he came by my way
Must be hot under those Friday Night Lights
Supposedly Castle bites

Have I Charmed you yet
You're right on the Fringe I bet
Just let those Happy Days come
Don't JAG your bum

Ooops I meant drag like Bossum Buddies
While the Relice Hunter studies
As The Pretender you could be
Joining MI:5 or maybe three

Martin would be doomed for sure
Those in NYPD Blue might give you a tour
That be a Spin City
The Shield would show no pity

Sliders might whip on by
Or Veronica Mars or some other guy
Giving you some True Blood
White Fang would bite you and it'd go thud

Wait Whose Line is it Anyway
Maybe NCIS will tell me what to say
As I go by Jericho at high speed
I can't let The Dukes of Hazzard get the lead

The Waltons would get mad
A Diagnosis Murder would be bad
Damages might ensue
And a Burn Notice might haunt you

Sending you to the Amazon
Watching a Firefly pull a con
Until some Invasion occured
After Tales of the Golden Monkey were heard

Hercules The Legendary Journeys you'd join
After joining Ducktales and stealing some coin
Going past Petticoat Junction
And some Green Acres Function

With Magnum P.I. on your tail
After your Mork and Mindy lunch pail
Such Criminal Minds after you
Yes what Seinfeld said is true

No Home Improvement here
Or some All in the Family cheer
Just the Facts of Life I fear
And as The Fresh Prince of Bel Air draws near

Breaking Bad I won't become
Or The Beverly Hillbillies might get glum
So as Bewitched as I may seem
Like I'm part of The A Team

I Dream of Jeannie never
The Brady Bunch however
Those Rugrats have some history
Isn't that just a Scooby Doo mystery

And so I hear The Jeffersons call
The Wonder Years are beginning to fall
Columbo is about to give a summation
And so ends my Perry Mason like narration

Or would that be Matlock
Bet Hunter is taking stock
Ready to go all Walker, Texas Ranger on me
Bah I have to stop as Gunsmoke is blocking my TV

Well I didn't really think I had that many in my head, had many more but some you'd dread. Plus wouldn't want you to waste your day, thinking this is reality TV as that'd cause dismay. Yeah most wouldn't fall for that, if you do fly away from my mat. You know the traps that are around if you trespass, so don't test my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

16 comments:

  1. How on earth did you think of all those? Wow!

    ReplyDelete
  2. haha oh movies and tv just float on out
    When I decide to rhyme and shout
    I have tons up there
    Added with my rhyming flare
    One comes to mind with each line
    And on TV tonight you dine..haha

    ReplyDelete
  3. Love how you started in the present and went back in time
    Recognize most you mention in your chime
    Hate reality tv..just don't get the point
    and haven't watched much tv at all in a couple of year at my joint
    I will admit to liking Alias and was s big fan.
    also of all the CSI's and the NYPD blue band
    But all have lost my interest in the last few seasons
    Some go past their prime for all the wrong reasons
    Did love Waltons and those shows as a kid
    That was back before cable or the satellite bid
    although we did have color
    in one form or another. ha.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah can only watch CSI crap now when I'm bored
    As it's really become stale as a board
    But 24, Stargate, Monk and Chuck
    I'll watch over and over again crap or not I don't give a ummm duck..haha
    At least you're not old enough to have had black and white
    That would be a bit of a fright..lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. ha..well, I do remember when I was very young
    having only black and white and no remote!
    Do love Monk..haven't seen that in years
    And no, this doesn't rhyme!
    But I'm tired and off to dreamland.
    have fun at work tomorrow
    I know they've missed you. ha.

    ReplyDelete
  6. holy bunny ear antenna batman, you got tv out the can, goodness, this is some longness but skilled you keep my eyes peeled, i know a few or maybe maybe, might need to get the TV guide to get the skinny on a few...whew...dont watch CSI anymore since grissom left, no longer the best and reality is enough without needing to watch it, most of my stuff is now on DVD, when i want it...

    ReplyDelete
  7. wow and you brought back memories too. but after having said that i haven't turn on the tv in one full month. i mean i have not turned it on at all. how i met your mother was the only show i was watching before this complete showdown. and yes, idol, thinking about it i stopped watching right after idol ends. and now jlo and marc anthony, so...

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ewww no remote would be icky
    Having to get up to change the channel would be tricky
    Especailly with a cat lying on me
    Yes have all of Monk on dvd
    As if that was ever in question..haha
    Uggg fun and work a pairing that's a bad suggestion..lol

    Yeah all my stuff is on dvd
    For whatever I want to see
    Screw the commercials and other crap
    Don't want to waste time watching the same products flap their yap
    Yeah it sucked since Grissom left for sure
    Have fun with your tv guide tour

    Geez a full month you say
    That might cause me dismay
    OK not really though
    And ewww Idol talked about at my show
    But I'll forgive that one
    As it's watched by a ton
    Although I wish it would die
    And that's no lie..lol

    ReplyDelete
  9. Oh, Brian my twin hit it on the head
    When Grissom left, the show went dead!
    Glad you agree with that dear cat
    He made the show and that's a Face It Fact

    ReplyDelete
  10. And welcome to work
    I see you've come to lurk. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. every single time
    u amaze everyone
    with your rhymes

    Ohh god how much TV u see ???

    ReplyDelete
  12. woooooaaaa... i have really started your raw and acidic tone of writing... :) :) :)

    ReplyDelete
  13. Pat that was impressive the you actually pulled those all out of your head. What's even more amazing is that there really wasn't any that I hadn't heard of, not that I've seen them all though, that would be something though. Some were a blast from the past, family matters forget that was the name of Urkels show to name but one of the many that I forget I had known.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yep when Grisson left it went way way down hill
    Now the Cheers guy is joining the CSI hill
    I agree with you and Brian
    Damn someone has to be lying..haha

    Yippee being at work is such fun
    Riiiiight away I'd like to run

    I've seen way way way to much
    And then double that by a touch
    Glad I can amaze
    As you gaze

    Haha quite raw I can be
    Acidic I suppose for a fee
    But my tone is like the phone
    It can change with each groan

    haha funny how some don't remember any at all
    Then when they come to my stall
    Find they know all or most
    Guess it's a good thing I give tv and movies a roast
    Yeah most forget Urkel's show's name
    But I remember all in tv/movie land, among other things, whether or not they are the same

    ReplyDelete
  15. ha nice - i don't look much tv - but recognized some of them pat..and i always loved the waltons...getting a bit nostalgic now...smiles

    ReplyDelete
  16. haha at least I could bring some nostalga about
    With my big long tv show shout..haha

    ReplyDelete