Monday, September 19, 2011

Damn It! All The Clowns Are Back With This Fit!

"You had to press the button. You just couldn't leave it be. Oh no! Not you, you stupid rhyming ass."

What my oh so loving sister Cassie was referring to was a package that came saying past due. Since I am quite the curious cat, I ripped it open before it could be seen by Pat. Just as he came in from emptying the garbage bin, I got done. It looked like we had won. It said "push here to finally claim your prize." In hindsight that was a little unwise.

For some big contraption popped out of the box, as I jumped on the button like an ox. It trapped the three of us in a cage type thing and then a phone below us began to ring. As Pat hit the button we all went poof and once again ended up in another little goof.

Yes! That means Drazin, the so called god, was back. Gung Ho also were there giving us flack. That Voiceover Guy was here too and Pat has once again gone Arthur type cuckoo.

All was orchestrated by this Riot Man clown, who wanted to give one of us a crown. This just is going to be bad news, I need some red ruby shoes, to click three times and go home. For now we are stuck in some great big caged dome.

"This is Riot Man here coming to you live from Madison Triangle Pasture and tonight we have quite the riot on our hands. From far away godly lands we have Drazin, who should come out guns a blazin."

"You let Drazin out of here! Drazin is going to put Drazin's foot up your ass. Then you'll really have something to riot about. Drazin has had enough let Drazin out!"

"For a so called god he does not seem to be much of a threat. But he could be a safe bet. Next up is the team of Gung Ho. Gung is Hung and Ho is slow...ummm....in the know....gottta go....just a hoe?"

"Ho, he makes fun of you just as well as I do."

"Gung, that riot fools bell really needs to be rung."

"I'll have to work on that for a later date. Voiceover Guy is up next and he seems filled with hate."

"As I stared at the unlikely crew surrounding me. I had but one question, one question to end all questions. The devestation it could cause if not answered. For we were all trapped in this cage with nowhere to go. I meant that literally, I hoped they all got my whiff."

"Yes, that surely could turn out to be a mess. I never thought of that I must confess. Then there is Pat, the nut with too many voices under his Hatt."

"Arthur is all that remains and with Excalibur I will slay you riot demon. The force is with me."

"Umm Gung, isn't that Star Wars?"

"Yeah it is Ho, but let's just let him go with it."

"And the last addition to my riot ensemble are two felines, who cross all kinds of lines. Cassie dubbed Miss Priss and Orlin the rhyming nut, who you truly do not want to miss."

"This is all your fault again. I'm getting dirty and I'll have to bath myself for hours when I get home. I'll get a hairball and it's all your fault."

Do you see what I have to deal with every day? Maybe I secretly wanted to hit the button to get away. But I guess it did not work very well, as all of these mooks came with me straight to this hell.

"The stage has been set. So place your bet. Who will win? Who will sin? The Riot Man has gone through great trouble to get them all here. Watch on with fear, give a cheer and watch it, Drazin might bite off someones ear. Oops! That was already done, we would not want people to think this was a rerun."

"Drazin hates you fleabags and will make you slippers. But Drazin doesn't like fools waking Drazin up and dragging Drazin here. So Drazin is going to shove Drazin's godly foot up that riot freaks ass, then Drazin will make slippers out of the two of you."

"He's talking in the third person, he thinks he's a god and yet he has the nerve to call that riot guy a freak."

"You might want to wait until we aren't trapped with him to make fun. For we wouldn't want to get chased again by the bald one."

"Thy crown shall shine upon thee demon and you will tremble in fear. Do you feel lucky punk? Well do you?"

"Ho, wasn't that Dirty Harry?"

"Gung, I think that Pat guy has a screw lose or two."

"Does thee wish to have words? I'll give you a cowabunga dude."

"Gung, did he really just say that?"

"Ho, I think he did."

Those two kept guessing Pat's mixed up voices he continued to spew, as that Riot Man fool continued to view. Drazin just banged away on the cage, while Cassie and I wished we could flip the page.

"The godly one showed his awesome might. For he made the very walls tremble at his shouts. While everyone else laughed, delighted at his idle threats. A god of the ages I tell you folks. Gung Ho were not exactly gung ho to go anywhere and they continued to peer at Pat. As he moved from referencing Arthur to Lassie herself. Yes he actually barked and his territory was about to be marked. When he changed once again. It must be tough living with all those voices. I on the other hand watched the cage rattle at all the blithering that was taking place and thus sparked an idea in the cat. The feline would save the day."

That voiceover nut did spark an idea and I knew we had to give a cheer. So I got everyone in the middle butt to butt. Yes, even that Drazin nut. Then we just sang out, as that Riot Man continued to shout. It seemed these Face it Facts were all wrong and he wanted us to battle it out with swords in a thong. Yeah, that would be tough to picture for sure. Plus it be quite disturbing and so much more. Now all we had to do was rattle the cage and continue to let our voices rage.

Drazin is going to kill you.
Gung, what should we do?
Ho, what should we say?
"The place was in complete disarray"

These guys can't stay on tune.
Drazin will blast you to the moon.
Thou shall not demon slime.
Look you all can rhyme.

Shut up! You stupid cat.
Drazin will squash you flat.
Gung, I wonder if he'll use a car.
Ho, is my singing sub par?

Now all at once.
Let's end this Riot dunce.
It is starting to crack.
One more time pack.

Drazin hates all of you.
Thou are the equivalent of poo.
Gung, I wondered about that smell.
"I damned them all to hell."

The bars cracked on one side and Drazin stepped up with one big stride. He kicked in the bars and walked on through. He grabbed Riot Man by the throat and waited until he turned blue.

"Now do you have anything to say to Drazin? Drazin can't hear you? Is Drazin not saying it clearly for you? What's that? Drazin is too much of a god for you to contain? Yeah that Drazin knew. You look good in blue. Drazin rhymed like the cat. How about that? Speaking of fleabags."

Drazin dropped the riot nut and he passed out. I knew what was coming next from his shout. He wanted to try once more, to take the cat slipper tour.

"So not only does he talk in the third person, but he answers his own questions. Wow! Drazin you truly must be a God."

Drazin was not about to take any more of Cassie's retorts and ran at her missing of sorts. As the mook fell for the same old trick in his rage, as Cassie jumped through the square hole in the cage. He could not slow down and his head went through the hole looking like a bald little crown. The poor silly schmuck, got his head stuck. Cassie slapped her tail in the air, as he began to wail how it was no fair.

"Thou has less wit than a cat. Thou really must not be a god. Now who you gonna to call?"

"Ho, that one was to easy."

"Yeah Gung, it was also a tad cheesy."

"Drazin will have Drazin's slippers before winter sets in. Let Drazin out of here. You! Voiceover wacko, push Drazin out of here."

"God helps those who helps themselves was all I could muster, as the whole slew of characters began to laugh and we left Riot Man's pathetic attempt at a bout. He didn't even have that Buffer character, it was so disappointing. To anyone who spent money on such a thing. Take comfort in knowing as we left the arena we found the return package, hit the button and got home. All going away and living happily ever after, besides Drazin, who was still crying out insults as we left."

And once home, I did not want to roam. I was tired after once again dealing with that character mass and had to rest my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

24 comments:

  1. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    I don't mean to sound like a "bore" but I will return to read your post after I finish my "chores!" lol
    deedee...Darn! this post is long!
    LM_ _ Oops! Please pardon not"pardom" me!
    deedee :-/

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  2. you lost me at sword fights in thongs manm was afraid of what might come next, sounds like you could have hit pay per view, if riot was worth his stew, an drazin not such a hot air god dude...

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  3. Hi! Pat Hatt...
    Even though yesterday where I live was cloudy with a chance Of rain and not "sunny!" after reading your post that made up for it [The weather] because your post is quite..."funny!" lol

    [Non-Rhyming Mode: I have to admit what a very humorous bit Of business...between the different cast Of characters. Great writing!]

    Thanks,for sharing!
    deedee ;-D

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  4. Came back
    Yes was long at my rack

    hahaha I threw that in for a scare
    And yes Drazin is a nut I swear

    Yeah all the characters interact quite fun
    And i have a ton
    So it went on rather long
    Drazin spews crap that is just all wrong..haha

    hahaha yes those turtles came into play
    With the tale I did the other day

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  5. i have on occasion mentioned star wars
    and was told i was one of the big bores
    i said i was born in 1972
    we know about star wars and caddyshack too
    :)

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  6. Wow, what an ordeal
    I'm sure it seemed surreal
    Too bad it wasn't just a dream
    Sounds like Drazin needs some sugar and cream
    to sweeten up his disposition
    then you could give him a niceness initiation!

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  7. All this kick ass stuff, I'm done all done in and... it's only Monday!!!
    Thank goodness there was no Ho, ho, ho, in there.. I do not want to see the end of fall. Winter comes too soon, too soon!!!

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  8. haha yes that damn gopher was it
    That made Bill Murray have a fit
    I was born far later than that
    Yet still have them all under my hat

    Nope not a dream like those slippers you made
    That still has yet to fade
    Mean human you are
    Drazin will never be nice at my bar..haha

    Yes no ho ho ho
    For I don't want snow snow snow
    Hate that crap
    Better slow down on your week lap
    Don't want to be done it right away
    I'll make the rest shorter at my bay..haha

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  9. haha - may the force be with you....and somehow...i always see this math guy before my mind's eye as soon as you start to mention drazin...makes it all the more fun..

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  10. hahaha I'm going to have to use that math guy at some point
    It be Drazin vs Drazin at my joint
    Then you'd have tons of fun
    Although mean Drazin may make math Drazin run

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  11. I was getting to wonder when the "crew" would return, haven't seen them all together in one forum. Entertaining piece Pat. Love how you got this thing started, don't animals seem to get into places they shouldn't be, reminds me back to Christmas eve, one of the cats, both deny, but only the cats could jump that high, so It had to be either Cocoa or Chloe, jumped up and ripped the paper off some presents, another day we'd awake to find a scattering of tinsel and ornaments too- but the whole curiosity angle to start the piece was great and with each interacting you transferred that curiosity to those that view- fun piece indeed.

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  12. haha oh yes any presents Cassie and Orlin like to unwrap too
    They won't want for Christmas to come due
    They rip and tear as soon as they see
    Heck, they'll do it right in front of me..haha
    Yeah the crew showed their face
    And interacted as they were all once again back on a nutty case

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  13. I don't know what's funnier, the actual post (which is pretty good) or the comments (which are also pretty good).

    Good stuff here.

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  14. Mean human?
    Oh, stop your fumin'
    Everyone knows I'm all sugar and spice
    if you didn't get it, I'll repeat it twice!
    sugar and spice.
    :)

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  15. hahaha yes they are nuts most of the time
    Especailly when they rhyme

    Yeah the comments can sometimes rival or beat the post
    Which are fun to see as each gives a boast
    Glad it's good stuff
    And it wasn't long enough to put you in a huff

    Yes oh so mean
    You evil Drazin following fein
    Dreaming up slippers of us
    Orlin will always make a fuss
    Maybe it's less sugar more spice
    Or you ate some bad rice..haha

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  16. I got confused during your post, which I think is due to my limited contact with gaming prose and drinking.

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  17. hahaha yes the colorful cast of characters can confuse
    As they abuse
    Each have been around the block a time or two
    So is a tad confusing if one is new

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  18. I second Susan.. I got confused too...
    But All in all a first class read !!!!

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  19. oohhh... along post :(
    couldn't read it complete :P

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  20. hahaha confusion abounds
    All over my grounds..haha

    Yes quite long
    With my character song

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  21. There's no such thing as too much rhyme (well, almost). I emphatically approve of this blog.

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  22. haha when it comes to mine
    I cross the rhyming line
    And keep on going
    With my showing
    Screw it I say
    And thanks for the approval at my bay

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