Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Head Continues to Shake, Hope They Never Bake a Cake!

The cat knows some people get paid by the hour and move like they are at half power. Heck, sometimes even that is overstating it. They go so slow they can't even have a fit. Oh wait they can indeed, just look at where this is going to lead.

Nine o'clock approaches as the seconds tick away, the time when all mooks are supposed to be out and on their way. The Jeopardy tune plays in the background, as a few seconds left are all that are found. Nine o'clock passes and two mooks are still sitting on their asses.

"Do you think we need a washer for this one?"

"A washer would make it earthquake proof?"

"I don't know if we have any left."

Clunk, clunk, clunk, walks over like he's in a funk. Bends down like there is something stuck you no where and begins to look here and there.

"I've got big washers but they won't fit the screws. I've got small washers but they won't fit the screws. I've got thick black washers but they won't fit the screws."

By this time I think the one whole guy in the room knew the damn things would not fit the screws. But he kept acting like it was big news.

"Oh I found five washers. This should do."

Clunk, clunk, clunk, walking again like he's in a funk. He lies on the floor and puts the screws in by hand, because he's too lazy to once again stand and climb a few stairs to get the power drill that blares.

Clock reads quarter after nine, as he puts the screws in their corresponding holy line. Did you know it takes two guys to put in one screw? I'd hate to see what would happen if they had to fix a loo.

"I gave you five washers, where are they?"

"You only gave me three. I only had three."

Takes a flashlight and looks at the floor. Oh they found one more.

"I knew I gave you five washers, but where is the other?"

"Oh yeah! We used two on one."

So they once again take their sweet ass time with their one whole washer left. But I guess it had enough heft, as they did not need any more, as they put the rest of the screws in the floor. Three whole screws took fifteen minutes to do. No! I'm not kidding you. Pat could do it faster shoving the screw driver between his cheeks and spinning, boy would that be winning.

"There this side is done, now we have one more side to do. Think we have any more washers?"

Even though they already looked through their damn bag once, can someone really be that dunce? Oh stupid question, take that more as a suggestion.

"I can check the truck for more washers."

Oh no you are not. Pat says **** a whole lot and systematically turns out the lights pretending it was termites. At nine thirty or so they take the hint yet still stand around eating an apple like it's a mint.

"I think I'll go to the store and get more washers tomorrow."

Who gives a flying ****, now get the hell out and in your truck. Is what Pat thought, but not the speech he brought. Just said they had to go and they moved ever so slow.

"It just didn't want to cooperate tonight."

One muttered as Pat slammed the door. Right! If only you had a washer or avoided the liquor store. 

I could not make this shit up if I tried, alright I lied. I know I could, but being true makes this just that good. Although it was not fun waiting last night for Pat to get home and feed us because someone decided to board the short bus.

I have no idea what the Face it Facts of this one are. I guess make sure you have something to do at work or home or your bar. If you ever have some slow poke coming in to fix some crap. Hey, at least you can take a nap. Okay, I am done class and off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

15 comments:

  1. This is one of your funniest! Love it. Of course since everyone has been there on this one it's going to be a hit.
    I loved Alaska, it was a lot of fun. That one episode though was scary as crap. Have a good day Pat. (that last was my attempt, albeit poor, at playing your game. haha)

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  2. oy this would drive me nuts, i'd be kicking some butts, lazy or incompetents, i am a getter done lets then have fun kinda guy, i get paid by the hour myself but earn most pennies, my job though is fun...

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  3. This reminds me of the time, my husband tried fixing things in my kitchen LOL!

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  4. Ugh! What a couple of bums.
    Guess they have a degree in 'dumb'
    to hold down that job and then some.
    Where my oldest works
    there is a custodian that lurks
    obviously paid by the hour
    she vacuums with half power
    even will redo a room
    just to a slow motion tune
    to pad her paycheck
    while leaving other rooms a wreck
    Won't see the trash about
    may even have to pout
    if she had to do real work
    oh yeah what a jerk.
    ha.

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  5. Yeah at some point or another everyone has had people who are damn slow
    Or who can't understand it's time to go
    They just sit around and yap
    Letting their lips flap
    haha at least it was an attempt
    Go for it, no one is exempt

    Exactly! Get the shit done and have fun
    Act like to the loo you have to run
    And do it all
    Then answer your lazy ass call
    At least the job is fun too
    That makes it not as bad to do
    Unlike mine
    But the four days of work is fine..haha

    hahahaha take it, it went rather slow
    And by "tried", well it did not go..haha

    Yes I'd say they exceled at that degree
    I seem to get many who come and do their crap at night with me
    Oh I hate the rental people for sure
    I always, always have to show them the door
    And stupid lazy ass workers I get too
    What am I to do..haha
    She sounds like a pain for sure
    Give her a good kick across the floor..haha

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  6. I ALWAYS eat my apples like mints! Is that bad? :) Junior mints, Baby!!

    I say put all those slow-ass booggers on commission!!

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  7. hahaha if you can chew and walk out the door at the same time
    No it's not a crime
    Yes they should go on something
    For all the pain and agony they bring..haha

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  8. i have lost washers and screws
    diamonds and clues
    i looked in the truck
    no such luck
    at least i'm getting paid
    baby, i got it made

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  9. Pat, the worst part is, I cannot believe I dated BOTH these guys in the 80s!! Thanks for the cat-giggles, honey. Amy
    http://sharplittlepencil.wordpress.com/2011/09/14/free-edits-from-amy-free/

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  10. haha yeah that abous sums up their vision
    Taking an hour to make a decision
    When all I want to do is what them upside the head
    And get home to bed..haha

    Ewwwwww you dated these two fools
    They were such tools
    Glad it was funny
    Even if you called me honey..hahaha

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  11. I wrote a long reply, but don't know what happened but the screen blinked and the box was dry. Anyhow this is way too true - very irksome indeed- any of these so called repair/installer types- well not all but I always thought they were reserved for working on my home- good to see I'm not alone. Also irksome is the " They'll be there between 8 and 5" And sometimes still are late. Telling you there's only so many hours in a day, to which you can reply "well if I didn't before, I do know now" But the incompetency is enough to pop veins- but the word mook is perfect to describe these types of, hmm. Kooks.

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  12. Excellent! Hilarious! Did they have plumber butt too?

    Love,
    Lola, who feels guilty because my comments don't rhyme; I don't have time.

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  13. haha yes I HATE when you type something out
    And then stupid blogger destroys your shout
    Irksome is a good way to go
    Making one say **** way more then what they usually let flow
    Yeah it's horrible indeed
    Oh we'll only be two hours with our speed
    Four hours later we're still here
    Enough to strike fear

    hahaha I wasn't exactly looking at their butt
    But one had a big old gut
    Don't have to rhyme
    It's fine no matter the type of chime

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  14. Sounds like some of our gobment workers here I see, just come visit our local DMV. Seems like there is a lack of pride in work done and their bosses are letting them slide. Seems that a boss has the pick of the work litter and somewhere out there is a worker who is not a sitter.

    So sad, so bad, lazy slobs can keep their jobs. Maybe changes will take place and they will be forced to pick up the pace, but don't hold your beath because it might cause your death for due to our great gobment change is not the way their ideas went.

    God bless.

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  15. Wow you left a long rhyme
    Such a grand old time
    Yeah if they even have a boss
    Who lets them get away with just s simple toss
    Forgetting about any kind of ethic what so ever
    Then they didn't seem to clever
    So I'm sure they had someone tell them what to do
    No I will not hold my breath for that to come due
    Better chance of me using a port a pottie loo
    Which let just say between me and you
    Will practically never ever happen
    And now my lips are done flappin

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