The cat knows some people get paid by the hour and move like they are at half power. Heck, sometimes even that is overstating it. They go so slow they can't even have a fit. Oh wait they can indeed, just look at where this is going to lead.
Nine o'clock approaches as the seconds tick away, the time when all mooks are supposed to be out and on their way. The Jeopardy tune plays in the background, as a few seconds left are all that are found. Nine o'clock passes and two mooks are still sitting on their asses.
"Do you think we need a washer for this one?"
"A washer would make it earthquake proof?"
"I don't know if we have any left."
Clunk, clunk, clunk, walks over like he's in a funk. Bends down like there is something stuck you no where and begins to look here and there.
"I've got big washers but they won't fit the screws. I've got small washers but they won't fit the screws. I've got thick black washers but they won't fit the screws."
By this time I think the one whole guy in the room knew the damn things would not fit the screws. But he kept acting like it was big news.
"Oh I found five washers. This should do."
Clunk, clunk, clunk, walking again like he's in a funk. He lies on the floor and puts the screws in by hand, because he's too lazy to once again stand and climb a few stairs to get the power drill that blares.
Clock reads quarter after nine, as he puts the screws in their corresponding holy line. Did you know it takes two guys to put in one screw? I'd hate to see what would happen if they had to fix a loo.
"I gave you five washers, where are they?"
"You only gave me three. I only had three."
Takes a flashlight and looks at the floor. Oh they found one more.
"I knew I gave you five washers, but where is the other?"
"Oh yeah! We used two on one."
So they once again take their sweet ass time with their one whole washer left. But I guess it had enough heft, as they did not need any more, as they put the rest of the screws in the floor. Three whole screws took fifteen minutes to do. No! I'm not kidding you. Pat could do it faster shoving the screw driver between his cheeks and spinning, boy would that be winning.
"There this side is done, now we have one more side to do. Think we have any more washers?"
Even though they already looked through their damn bag once, can someone really be that dunce? Oh stupid question, take that more as a suggestion.
"I can check the truck for more washers."
Oh no you are not. Pat says **** a whole lot and systematically turns out the lights pretending it was termites. At nine thirty or so they take the hint yet still stand around eating an apple like it's a mint.
"I think I'll go to the store and get more washers tomorrow."
Who gives a flying ****, now get the hell out and in your truck. Is what Pat thought, but not the speech he brought. Just said they had to go and they moved ever so slow.
"It just didn't want to cooperate tonight."
One muttered as Pat slammed the door. Right! If only you had a washer or avoided the liquor store.
I could not make this shit up if I tried, alright I lied. I know I could, but being true makes this just that good. Although it was not fun waiting last night for Pat to get home and feed us because someone decided to board the short bus.
I have no idea what the Face it Facts of this one are. I guess make sure you have something to do at work or home or your bar. If you ever have some slow poke coming in to fix some crap. Hey, at least you can take a nap. Okay, I am done class and off I go with my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.