Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I Showed A Claw! Oops I Broke The Law!

So after Fred talked about the moose and law the other day, I went and found many to my dismay. Yeah, I even found some with moose and one could even reflect a goose. If you are into that kind of thing. Oh the bad images that starts to bring.

Now depending on where you are, whether near or far, this could apply to you. So watch what you do. As I give some Face it Facts on many interesting illegal acts.

Bad You! It's Illegal To....

Tie a pet dog on the roof of your car.
If you do that you deserve to get hit with a guitar.
Get divorced what so ever.
If there, you better think twice about the marriage endeavour.

To climb trees.
Yeah because it is such an awful disease.
One may not sniff glue.
Not even if you know kung fu.

To kiss on a train.
Yeah your dog drool causes others pain.
To push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
I guess if it's not moving no one will pop a vein.

May not slurp soup.
Or in the law will swoop.
Liquor stores can't sell milk.
Not even if you trade silk.

May not fish on a camel's back.
You might give the poor thing a heart attack.
Drive a camel down the highway.
Umm can you drive a camel anyway?

Throw a ball at someones head for fun.
Even when, to some, it should be done.
Milk another persons cow.
Yeah that they just can't allow.

To fish drunk.
I know your hopes have now sunk.
To sell one's eye.
Have to really be a hard up girl or guy.

Whistling underwater is one too.
Is that something one can even do?
Take more than three sips of beer at one time while standing.
What happens if you get drunk? Counting to three could be quite demanding.

To sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
But you can sell them to buy a jet.
On Sunday people can not relieve themselves and look up.
Not even if going in a cup.

For more than five women to live in one house.
Does that count cat, dog or mouse?
Can be fined for flirting.
That is quite disconcerting.

When raining you can't water your lawn.
If you did anyway it means your brains are long gone.
To go to college you must be intelligent.
Who decides such a development?

Every office must have a view of the sky.
So when it is falling you know you are about to die.
Can't pay for a 50 cent item with all pennies.
Guess you have to break out the twenties.

A pillow is considered a passive weapon.
So if you have one, get to steppin'.
To have oral sex.
No matter how much you flex.

But here is the kicker.
For those the equivalent of a butt licker.
It is legal for a male to do it with an animal as long as it doesn't exceed 40 pounds.
Oh the sounds, run cats, run flamingos, run hounds.

So if all of this causes dismay.
Wait for that one special day.
For at some bay.
It's illegal to arrest someone on Sunday.

Now would that make it legal to do something illegal? Or just illegal to get someone for being illegal until it is legal? There I confused you all after my legal fun and now I am done. See what can happen from a Moose pass. It brought up this little ditty from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

29 comments:

  1. Oh, it should be illegal to laugh this hard so early in the morning!
    Yes, we should all still be yawning.
    I guess my cats would have the disease
    of the curse of climbing trees!
    And at least in my home it's five men
    and not an illegal number of women!
    Now I want to try to whistle under water.
    I guess with humming I could get farther.
    But who would arrest you for that whistling?
    Someone underwater that was listening?
    Oh my gosh, this was fun
    and it didn't even contain a pun!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sheer silliness, as silliness really is an all or nothing proposition, though I wonder if I were to wander down the pathways of your mind what I would find:

    To push a live moose out of a moving airplane.
    I guess if it's not moving no one will pop a vein.

    (Are thoughts like this in a broom closet or do they wander down Main Street (like the moose in Northern Exposure))? I know, I know, curiosity is a life threatening illness for cats and Pandora wannabes like me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. haha yeah I had quite fun finding these
    Some are nuts and do not please
    Like climbing trees
    I guess maybe they are trying to save your knees
    Yeah I don't think you can whistle underwater one bit
    You'd drown anyway, if tried, that kind of fit
    Humming you could be able to do
    And no Idea how they'd actually catch you
    See gave you tons of fun on your birthday
    And I noticed how you said "my" for the cats your way
    Finally saying they are yours
    Soon they'll be running across the floors..haha

    haha oh you'd be lost quite fast
    It seems pretty vast
    Whether all is good or bad
    Is unknown to the cat or that Pat lad
    hahaha they are saved in a cupboard for a while
    Then wander down the hall to use in my typical rhyming style
    When known they just pop in
    And I have fun digging into the mind bin

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha Yes, I've succombed to their adoption of me.
    and in honesty, I'm full of glee.
    They are so sweet how can I resist
    but I do hope the newer strays find other's hearts to twist.
    lol

    yes, lots of laughs on my birthday
    this was a fun post for sure at your bay

    ReplyDelete
  5. hilarious some of these-- are they all true? never knew law could be so interesting... :) thanks for the smile, Pat!

    ReplyDelete
  6. the sky is falling, seriously, they make us work to hard to see evenif there was a window dont you know, maybe a falling moose might wake us up, make us kiss a car, train or truck....and you know what rhymes with that....cat rhymes with that...thanks for the laughs pat...

    ReplyDelete
  7. This is too funny! Run, cats, run!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Pat, hilarious post. I love all these laws that are so ridiculous and all. And to think all this came from some person in Maine who told me a tale, about a moose.)

    The Run cats, flamingos...had me spitting up milk- way, way too funny

    Thanks for the fun

    ReplyDelete
  9. haha yes let's hope they don't bring home friends to stay
    Then you'd catch up to the ones I visit towards home way
    That wouldn't be good
    Your yard would be quite the kitty hood

    Yep all are true as far as I know
    Not sure if they are enforced much high or low
    But they are there
    Sure there is also one about a bear

    That is true
    Make us work to not even see the view
    Dirty rotten sob's
    I want to see the trees
    But not climb
    As that's a crime..haha
    Yes I know what rhymes with that
    And no it isn't cat

    Fun verse
    And I didn't even curse
    Except for the end
    But that's a normal trend

    haha yes run cats run
    Or get yourselves a gun

    Yes they are completely ridiculous to see
    If anyone arrested you for climbing a tree
    They'd be the laughing stock of the place
    Unable to show their face
    Yep all from a moose
    Think what could happen if it was a goose..haha
    haha did the cats come and clean up the milk for you
    That's something they might do..haha

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is MY FAVORITE post I've read at your site. SOOO awesome. Here's my favorite line:

    "Every office must have a view of the sky.
    So when it is falling you know you are about to die."

    ReplyDelete
  11. haha being SOOO awesome is fun
    Glad it could be a favorite one
    Chicken little might warn them though
    So they may get away before the sky opens up and crap starts to flow

    Yep no longer a zoo
    As the kitties would take over the rest of your zoo crew

    ReplyDelete
  12. Okay, slurping soup I understand
    But, kissing on a train
    come on!
    No way :)

    And, I don't want to meet the men who came up with some of these laws, for I know, no woman was involved, lol.

    ReplyDelete
  13. i'd like to see someone push a moose:) i love your vision for every office, however.
    fined for flirting?
    now i'm hurning

    ReplyDelete
  14. haha yeah I can't see a woman coming up with most of these
    But could be one who umm has man knees?..haha
    Yeah they are nuts
    Sounds like they were made by mutts
    Actually they'd probably do a better job
    And wouldn't try and rob

    Yes that be funny to watch someone push a moose
    Everything would hang loose
    And they'd have no chance
    Unless if they used a lance
    haha yes it's the truth in some place
    So avoid that space

    ReplyDelete
  15. OMG, I'm laughing so hard I'm crying! Love it. How do you come up with all of these ideas? Now I have to try whistling underwater. I just MUST TRY it! Ha, ha.

    ReplyDelete
  16. These are awesome! Are some of these legit laws?!? Either way this defintely made me smile!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Oh the ideas just fly on out
    One word or phrase usually brings out my shout
    Better watch laughing and crying
    That could be illegal too, although I'm not sure so I could be lying
    Good luck with trying to whistle down under
    It might turn into one big blunder

    All are legit laws that I found
    As I looked around
    Which makes it that much more fun
    Knowing some nut had these done

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hahahahaha - oh dear
    some of those laws are queer
    and I don't want to think about them any more!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  19. Pat, nope cats didn't come to aid, I had to go grab the generic paper towel that I bought for 1 dollar, wish i spent the extra buck though, I found out the hard way, that although the same number of sheets, you wind up using more of them because they're so darn non-absorbent- bright side: I now know never to be the generic TP ha ha

    ReplyDelete
  20. *smiles* *smiles* and some more *smiles*...
    It was really funny... :D :D
    never knew some laws are such fun ;)

    ReplyDelete
  21. You're so funny!

    I love the feel of your blog.

    ReplyDelete
  22. haha yep quite queer indeed
    Had to use them at my feed
    Oh that may be a bad choice of words
    I'll blame it on the birds

    Yeah that generic crap sucks
    They are cheap ummm ducks
    You go through it fast
    And it doesn't last
    Which means you have to buy more
    Should have just got the good stuff in the first tour
    haha yes you never want to be
    Some crappy generic tp

    I can be funny
    And usually sunny

    Yeah I guess laws can be good for something
    As the rhymes they bring

    Glad you like the feel
    But what is my deal?..haha

    ReplyDelete
  23. I don't very many Flappy's
    Most I know are not Yappy's
    and that is all right with me
    I favor conversational equality.
    I think I would be driven wild
    By a super yappy adult or child.
    I don't think such a person knows
    by talking a lot ignorance shows
    or if they know they don't care,
    as they want their message out there!

    (Fun poem, Pat; I enjoyed my turn up to rhyming bat!)

    ReplyDelete
  24. haha that was quite fun
    And well done
    You take your turn well
    Sorta in the wrong post, but what the hell..haha
    Agreed, don't think she knows
    Until she has to count the times with her toes
    Then the mook just wants to get heard
    Like some stupid annoying old bird

    ReplyDelete
  25. (Sorry about that, Pat!
    Damn, I hate when I do that.)

    ReplyDelete
  26. hahaha no problem at all
    Alwasy welcome whether the post or ten posts below at my hall

    ReplyDelete