Monday, September 26, 2011

An Interesting Cheer. Could Turn Into a Regular Thing I Fear!

The Face it Facts of this are simple enough and won't get too rough. For at work the other day, I got a phone call and some dumb person began to say, that I won a trip. Right! I gave them some lip and then went click. Not going to fall for their stupid trick.

So that coupled with the ideas forming in my head, is what brought on this little rhyming thread. As far as a regular thing goes. What to do, What to do was just so fun to compose, that I may have to do it for other things, from traffic to flings. Now enough with my yapping. It's time my What to do started flapping.

What to do, What to do
An Unwanted Phone Call Review

Hello! Hello!
Unwanted crap begins to flow.
So what can you do?
Here's a thing or two.

Breathe heavy into the phone.
Give off a little moan.
Talk in morse code.
Listen as their patience begins to erode.

Give ransom demands.
Talk with your hands.
Dial a number while still on the line.
Rant how cannibals are fine.

Repeat everything they say.
Pretending there is an echo at your bay.
Talk in rhyme.
It can be a fun time.

Grab some chips and chew real loud.
Change voices acting as if you're in a crowd.
Pretend you are a recording.
It can be so rewarding.

Talk really fast than slow than fast.
Their brain will be in a cast.
Ask for another quarter to continue.
Or the conversation will discontinue.

Answer everything with a question.
Or with a suggestion.
Answer everything with the same word.
Chirp like a bird.

Meow like a cat.
Pretend to be a pet from a dog to a rat.
Act like your drunk.
And in some ranting funk.

Pretend God has been reached.
And some word needs to be preached.
Talk in the third person.
Listen as things worsen.

Ask if they want a kangaroo.
Say you'll throw in a platapus too.
Constantly ask for Sue.
Pretend you're using the loo.

Say they've reached 911.
Or they should dial 69 for their sex fun.
Ask if they have a favorite scary movie.
Pretend to die cruelly.

Ask "Where's Waldo?" over and over.
Pluck a flower or clover.
"Hang up" "Don't Hang up" Hang Up"
Pretend to have the hiccups.

Claim you can smell them over the phone.
Act like you're stuck in a cyclone.
Give them the weather report.
Act like your commentating a sport.

So there are some alternatives to going click.
Warning! You could get pegged as a prick.
But oh it will be fun.
You know you want to try one.

So the first of What to do is through. Now you know something new and the next time you get a call, go ahead and have a ball.Throw in some of your own sass or just use the plenty given off by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

33 comments:

  1. Funny, Cat.
    I may use a few of these at my mat.
    although I usually just let the answering machine pick up
    then I'll talk if I want to know what's up.
    I'll take a kangaroo and a platypus, too
    as I have neither of those at my zoo.
    You could say the person they ask for is dead
    that would cause them some dread.
    Or flush the toilet in their ear
    they would quickly hang up in fear.
    Election calls are the worst
    makes you just want to curse
    Hilarious, Orlin..I want you to know
    that this series will be a hit at your show!

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  2. hehehe.. great idea Pat..
    will definitely give it a try next time when I get an unwanted call ;) :)

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  3. You are SOOO hilarious!!!

    "Grab some chips and chew real loud.
    Change voices acting as if you're in a crowd."

    I laughed so hard.

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  4. haha that would surely teach the telemarketers to try their speach, i keep a fire arm nearby, why, well to give them a start to their wee little heart...some really funny stuff here and no senseless fluff

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  5. Oh I hate those calls, especially the ones where you answer and for about 30 seconds nothing happens only to then find you're listening to a recording!!
    Now, I don't even bother picking up the phone on those 1-800 numbers... ;)

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  6. haha you would shit a brick
    If you went out to the kitties and got a lick
    Looked up and saw a Kangaroo
    That I added to your zoo
    That would be quite funny
    But it would take a lot of money
    So you won't have to fear
    Of a Kangaroo coming near..haha
    Saying the person is dead would work too
    Unless they spread it around and legally declared dead were you
    But then you could come back from the dead
    That would just get hard on the head

    hahaha tons of things to try
    Whether you get an unwanted call from girl or guy

    hahaha pringle chewing I've done
    To more than one
    Sometimes even to those I wanted to talk too
    Sad but true

    Yeah the gun is a good idea
    That would strike some fear
    Yet the dumbies will still call the next day
    Maybe they hope you put the gun away?..haha

    I have to pick it up at work
    Never know who will lurk
    But at least I get paid to pick up for these nuts
    Then I can make fun of their stupid guts

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  7. Oh this is just too much. Pretend to have a hiccups..I'll do that one.

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  8. hahaha just don't go and catch them for real
    That wouldn't be a good deal

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  9. Some great suggestions there! In fact, I've actually used a couple of them in the past. (I won't say which ones.)

    If you'd like a phone-related story that you might find amusing, click here.

    Anything else? Oh, yeah. I have some bad news for you. That call you got about the trip you'd won? That wasn't a joke. That was from me. I'd held a random drawing to reward one lucky die-hard reader of my Comical Wednesday posts, and you won. I had to give the trip to another reader, who shall remain nameless. But you probably wouldn't have liked the trip anyway. It was a flight to California, where you'd get a tour of a Pringles manufacturing plant (with free samples at the end included, of course), with a second stop at one of California's far-famed Chick-fil-A restaurants, where they make what many have described as the best chicken nuggets. I suppose the trip was too limited in scope to interest you, so no harm done, right?

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  10. Some may just work.Hilarious!

    Hank

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  11. haha afriad to admit to the ones you used
    Did you leave your victim too confused
    Quite the fun phone story as well
    One digit can surely screw everything to hell

    What? No apple juice? I'm glad I hung up the phone. How do you expect me to survive in the heat of California with nothing to drink?..haha...oh and I never knew you could pitch your voice so high. That was truly a well done female voice too, you've got that down..haha...of course anyway I need a passport to get out of Canada town. So it be a no go anyway. Here I have to stay.

    hahaha yeah I guaruntee some will work
    Although you might get called a jerk
    Or far worse
    As they leave you with a curse..haha

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  12. Oops. Sorry about the high voice. (Ever since my odd little... errr... side job in the early 1990s, I almost always do that on the phone.) You should have heard the high notes I could hit when I was doing Led Zeppelin cover tunes in my old bands.

    And I'm sorry I forgot to mention that apple juice would have been available in abundance on the airplane.

    It sucks that we now need a passport just to visit Canada, and so do our Canadian friends to return the favor. Otherwise, I'd make a trip northward to visit a couple of people I know.

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  13. haha that odd job must have really caused some sort of shock and I have no doubt you could hit the high notes as you rock. Just slow down when you speak, your voice tends to squeek..haha

    Oh that would have worked well, if only you didn't sound like you were trying to sell.

    Yeah that is so stupid that they did that, stupid Mexican drug dealers flying their crap up here and then taking it across this border because theirs is guarded way more. Plus the so called terrorists take the tour. Just another way for them to exert their power and suck more money out of us to get that damn passport just to visit the north or south court.

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  14. "Just another way for them to exert their power and suck more money out of us..."

    What? Our governments, motivated by money? How could you think that?

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  15. Definitely going to try a few of those!

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  16. Much better than my solution, which is simply Take me off your list and don't ever call me again or I'll find where you live and . . . oops! I didn't mean to reveal quite that much.

    Love,
    Lola

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  17. I've been busy just ignoring, but perhaps I need to be more clever as you've suggested. Now, I've got some work to do :)

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  18. interesting post! +followed, come check my blog out when you get the chance! http://mightyideas.blogspot.com

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  19. grab some chips and chew real loud
    is what mr. hatt has written proud
    this might be good advice if you are in a crowd
    but if they can be eaten quietly we would all be wowed.

    (this from someone who has never eaten quietly:)

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  20. A lot of fun this one was. At one point, way back when, i was a collector, a job that lasted by a week or two, I hated it with a passion. Obviously a lower level of slime, apologies to all the bill collectors reading this rhyme, but the place I worked at encouraged you to act all underhanded, when you spoke with old ladies deceive them and all sorts of terrible things. Anyhow, Telemarketers are funny, They'll just go on and on- it's great, I often wonder if they continue talking after we disconnect with them. We get this one at the house at least three times a week. It starts with static, a bit of dead air, then a click, then this crazy loud steamship type of a horn- I always tell people who happen to hear it on the machine, that they make it so loud to deafen the person, that way they won't hear all the spewing. Your ideas here are just amazing, can't wait to use some of them. The act as a cat or pet, and the questioning and the repeating ones are probably the ones I'll try first. Prick I'm okay with being called, if only at the telemarketing or collection stalls.

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  21. I don't know
    Am I an awful cat for thinking that at my show?..haha

    haha have fun
    Should be interesting to see what happens after a few is done

    Geez aren't you quite violent to them
    Do you yell and spit up flem
    Okay that's nasty I'd say
    Just get your dogs to rub poo on then for a little dismay..haha

    hahaha when bored or just want to take a break
    It's quite fun to pretend to be fake
    And do some work
    Getting back at the phone jerk

    Of course I will check
    What the heck

    I can eat quietly when I think someone wants one
    And I know they'll take a ton
    Or get their germy mitts on my can
    Other than that it's drowned out by the fan..haha

    hahaha ewwww you did that
    You just went on the no talk to list of the cat..hahaha
    Yes they do go on and on and on and on
    From dusk to dawn
    And in reverse
    Just making on curse
    I get the stupid fog horn thing too
    Bunch of crap that's untrue
    The repeating one is fun
    And just has to be done
    Yeah I've been called worse than prick
    And even dick
    So it doesn't bother me
    Just cause me some added glee

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  22. I don't need a kangaroo or platypus now
    as my kitty crew grew some how
    Does 11 kittens sound like too much
    yes, I think it's too big of a bunch!

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  23. haha have to give it a go
    To see if it can entertain you at your show

    Yes 11 is a ton
    I think after four you should be done
    What are you to do
    With so many visiting you
    I can send Orlin down
    He'll chase them clear across town..haha

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  24. I seldom use my house phone
    its number is not even to me known
    so when this phone does ring
    I know an unwanted call it does bring
    I answer with cynical voice
    my unfriendly voice of choice
    a market I most often find
    of the most disgusting kind
    I tell him to take me off the list
    as i am more and more just plain pissed
    and he promises me he will do that
    ha ha that is all just chat.

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  25. haha seems for every list
    That you say take me off and shake your fist
    There are five more than you go on
    As they try and pull their con
    Isn't that fun
    The way things are done..haha

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  26. haha - thanks for this - some useful stuff...next time they call, i have some ideas now...smiles

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  27. When I receive and unwanted call
    I use that chance to tell them all
    about my aches and pains
    and what to do if it rains.
    Then I chat about menopause--
    that usually works because
    by then there's a dial tone
    and I can put down my phone.

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  28. Lol! I seriously cant stand telemarketers! Love this rhyme its perfect!

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  29. ha..ha.. fun stuff here. okay will try a few tricks though sometimes having a childish voice helps.. they think i am a kid..ha..ha...

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  30. Glad I gave you some phone cheers
    Should over work their brain gears
    So they'll just hang up
    And one no longer has to pretend to be a pup

    hahaha that must work real well
    They think oh hell
    And then hang up the phone
    Unless they are trying to get you some health crap helping your aches and pains moan
    Then that may not work at all
    With that prob best to let the phone just fall

    Yes they are quite the pain
    Can make one pop a vein

    haha yeah a childish voice helps too
    As they they you are to young and won't bother with you

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  31. Great stuff Pat.

    And ironically my phone was ringing with an unwanted call as I was reading this.

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  32. haha you got really good timing I guess
    With that stupid phone unwanted mess

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