Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Okay I Have A dVerse Third Eye, That I Can't Deny!

Yes I am very slow. As I was here and there on the go and Pat took the computer from the cat, to write the second book at our mat. So that's the Face it Facts as to why I was slow on such dVerse acts. But the third eye can be so fun, that it just had to be done. So I will kill two birds with one stone. I know it is a stupid saying but do not moan. Of course I'm going to go for a stroll far far far down the rabbit hole. But since when have I not? At least I never get caught.

A Blue Moon Sucked Up This Loon!

The cat opened the fridge looking for some food. But all I found was a rainbow bridge, how rude! Although there was a troll with his hand out to me. I guess he wanted me to pay a fee. I figured I was just seeing stuff. So I ignored his huff and puff. Maybe he was really food for me? I took a bite to see. Damn! He tasted really foul and let out quite the howl. But he moved aside and I walked by with such pride.

He laughed as I almost got stuck with a horn on a duck. Okay it was really on a horse but such things I do not endorse. The thing neighed at me like some common thing and then I saw one with a wing. It turned and I found it had two. So I jumped on and yelled "Screw You!"

The troll shook his fist as we flew away and some man with wings got in our way. But I guess he got too close to the sun and the wings were done. They burnt to a crisp and he sounded like he had a lisp, as he screamed all the way down, crashing into a town.

A dog face man, who really needed a tan, pointed up to the sky and I thought we were going to die. As arrows flew at us from below. I yelled for the flying horse thing to go and we avoided the rain of wood. Just as I knew we could.

The sky caught fire as our situation turned dire. This lizard thing wanted us for lunch. Then I saw a whole bunch. The fire from his breath was very hot, but his breath was not. He needed a mint and so much more. His teeth also looked rather sore. So as the others were at our back, we charged this foul breathed one, going on the attack.

The flying horse dodged his fire and the lizard sucked in air like he was filling a tire. I backed up the flying horse and without any remorse, we both kicked his teeth down his throat. The sound he made sounded like a goat. The others ran at his horrible shrieking. I guess no further snack they were seeking.

The dumb flying horse did a twirl and off I plummeted and no I did not scream like a girl. As I saw the mush I was landing on. It seems the day of the dead had begun to dawn. It was so gross, their issue I did not even try and diagnose. I slated the gunk off my paws and stuck out my claws. The funny looking human tried to bite me. Damn that! I decided to flee.

I hid behind what I thought was a hairy bush. But it broke wind and turned out to be a tush. The hairy ape thing groaned and turned around. His big feet were quite profound. Again it looked at me like I was dinner. But just like the rest, he was not a winner.

I swerved from his grasp before his hands could clasp. I ran and ran and ran some more. Until I was blinded by something of lore. The city was huge and sparkled with flare. I also noticed a rather well dressed pair. They looked all high tech with their little toys, but were running around screaming like little boys.

I noticed my paws were becoming wet and soon learned why everyone was beginning to fret. The damn island was sinking into the sea. This was just not a good day for me. I hopped to the highest tower I could find and looked for the flying horse to save my behind. Yet as everything sunk and I began to drown, I was kicked by some human wearing a fish fin gown.

She kept me afloat until I spotted a boat. She then launched me on board and I was met with a horde. These folks talked rather funny and were after some money. I guess there was an island with treasure, too much to even measure. Luckily the ship was vast and they could not find me as I climbed the mast. I stayed there for what seemed like hours and then came the rain showers.

Some big tentacle thing came from the sea and started whacking the boat with such glee. It totalled their poor boat, as screams came from their throat. They still spoke in tongue, but I knew their bell was rung. This monster created quite the mess. So I swam ashore and read the sign, which said "Welcome to Lochness."

I delved into the forest to try and make it home. I had it with this stupid fridge rainbow dome. Yet I came across more dumb humans chanting in prayer, I just had to stop and stare. As the city glistened with gold, my greedy instincts took hold. I grabbed a gold bar but could not run very far. The damn thing weighed a ton. I could barely lift one. Although it was not long before they caught my behind, but thankfully they were kind.

I was sent to their leader who sat on top a throne. He let out a rather cheery moan. With his hat kind of like mine, except his was green with a black line. He was saying something about his pot of gold and how I was quite bold. He then heaved me down a hole and told me not to lose my soul.

The place was dark and dreary, not at all cheery. Some guy asked if I wanted to cross the river. The look of him made me quiver. No way was I going near his canoe looking thing. Then I heard some three headed mutt sing. Boy was that a sight. As if a mutt with one head was not bad enough to fight. It snapped at me over and over. But it was quite the dumb rover.

I ran under it and the dumb thing snapped its own heads in its fit. The thing whined a bit and shook off its hurt. No blood seemed to spurt. Then the thing came after me, but I zipped along like a buzzing bee. I saw a bright light and immediately took flight. That mutt was not going to catch my little rhyming ass, even if it did have three heads coming out of its mass. I flung myself into the air and jumped into the bright light lair.

Some stupid snake wanted me to play and steal some apple from his bay. I told him get the two naked humans to do that, as that goose intrigued the cat. I did not know whether to have it as a snack or to watch it quack. The thing was laying golden eggs left and right. I was not about to again fall for my greed plight. As I figured next I would find a three headed cow and that would just be wrong some how.

So I trotted off and found a box, guarded by some blue ox. The thing had a name tag and Babe really looked like an old hag. She let me open the box too. I guess smart guards are not blue. Some voices moaned from inside and I slammed it shut not opening it wide. No Pandora size mistake for this cat. Plus Babe dropped a cow patty and I knew that was that.

The stink blinded me as I went through some mist. I finally saw some guy shaking his fist. He actually looked like he was doing the twist but could not pull it off and was rather pissed. I guess he was some wizard long ago but some cowardly, heartless, brainless crew pulled the curtain back at his show. Now everyone was in the know, that he was nothing but a phony bologna with a name that was not John Doe. I left him in self pity and came across a one eyed old bitty.

I was grossed out as out came two more. They popped the eye out like it was a chore and then shared it between the three. It was certainly a sight to see. They ranted about how they could see my fate and something about one breaking a dinner plate. I guess it got caught in some string or some other thing. They bickered like old women do and I left their one eyed view.

The mist cleared and all around, nothing but sand could be found. Now I had been holding it for a while but did I really need a litter box that stretched more than a mile? There was only so much I could dig and no I did not enjoy it like some pig. Meaning I was not as happy as one in shit, for I was about to have a fit. All that walking was wearing me out and I gave a shout. But the cactus man was just a mirage, maybe next time I will play in the garage.

I heard a click as I moved a little bit more and a pyramid popped out of the sandy floor. I went inside to get out of the sun and wished I had a gun. As tall grey men surrounded me and they looked rather freaky. They even tried to stick something up my little rhyming ass. I was not about to let that pass. So I scratched one and ran circles by the ton. They looked down at the marks I made in the sand and thought it was quite grand. I figured what the hell and ran down the hall before they caught and threw me in some cell.

A light shined bright on a lamp in the middle and I heard some strange fiddle. I heard the myths and figured I would give it a shot. So I gave it a rub and the room got hot. Smoke filled the place and out popped a face. The rest of his body came after and then some delirious laughter. I guess I got three wishes now. But I did not trust this freaky smoke thing that began to bow. Yet I wanted to give it a try and catch him in a lie.

So I wished to be home and he sent me a garden gnome. I wished for a snack and he sent me to a horse race track. I wished he would go pound sand for life and heaven only knows if it caused him strife. After he went poof and disappeared, the cave reappeared. Gone was the lamp but the place was still damp. I could hear a drop of water drip into a puddle below and I walked around, stubbing my toe.

I hopped on one foot and heard a click. Oh someone was a big dick. As through a hatch I went and yes I was beginning to get bent. I landed on more sand of course. I still blame that stupid flying horse. But there lied a cup, ragged and worn like it was chewed on by a pup. I just had to quench my thirst. So with one quick burst. I ran up grabbing the thing and under the puddle I gave it a fling. Then sucked the dirty water down. Yes it was not as clear as my town. But beggars cannot be choosers I guess. "Oh My God!' I cried, as I was out of this mess.

I looked around and home is where I was found. The fridge was bare and my stomach seemed bloated like I ate a hare. All I can really say is the next time you get indigestion your way, close the fridge good and tight or prepare for a agonizing plight. It is safer to grab your rod and go fishing for some bass. Trust my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

44 comments:

  1. Whew, what a tale from opening the fridge to the flying horse to back to your house with a bloated stomach and indigestion. (edit suggestion: home is *where*)

    I drink brewed ginger tea to get all that poison out ~

    See you later ~

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  2. haha yes I hate indigestion
    And thanks for the catch with your edit suggestion
    Slipped on by
    As I went about my rant on the third eye
    If it happens again at my place
    I may have to stuff ten glasses of that tea in my face..haha

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  3. again a post that went way over my head :( :P

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  4. hahaha the cat is just lucky I guess
    As his head is big enough to catch anything I confess

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  5. dude you really need to lay off whatever you are eating before bed...or maybe you just have a colorful brain in that head...i laughed at the hairy bush being a butt, until the pyramid men in it tried to rut, a fine jaunt full of fantasy, many i remember from stories, you bring alive, never boring

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  6. haha only pringles go in my yap
    Before a take the goodnight nap
    I suppose I could have a colorful brain
    As all this stuff in it cause pain..haha
    Yes stuck stories in that popped into my head
    As the tale went where it led

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  7. Yep, I remember those file drawers in your brain
    being all the colors of a bow after rain.
    Have to say that was quite the dream
    You went through a bunch of movies, it seems.
    With some added imagination, too
    Just to add a thing or two.
    I would say that having multiple heads
    would be a problem that I would dread
    bumping heads with another of your own
    would just make you want to groan!
    Quite the funny dream, Cat
    So, do you sleep while wearing your hat?

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  8. Pat, I think you know I really liked this. Epic proportions. And finally, finally I believe I got every single reference within. WOO HOO!!! Exceptional in every sense

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  9. haha yes I guess they are pretty colors at times
    How else would I make such rhyming chimes
    Movies and lore mixed within
    Hopefully that isn't a sin
    Yes multiple heads would be bad
    Especially if one got cut of and two more were had
    That just be way way too many for me
    Considering my one is already as big as the sea
    Actually I curl up in my hat
    Because that cat can fit and isn't fat..haha

    hahaha yes I knew you'd get the references with more of a myth/lore feel
    Thanks for the epic seal
    Next time I'll make sure you don't get them all though
    Wouldn't want things to be too easy at my show..haha

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  10. whenever I eat before bed I am always visited by the wildest dreams, waking with stomach cramps....never good...but this write is awesome :)

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  11. rainbow bridges in the fridge and trolls...i like how your brain works patt...and now off to check my fridge but bet there are just boring things like cheese and sausages...

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  12. That to me, happened in Loch Ness too.

    But the big hairy tooting bush, that was a tush -- luckily I've not had to experience that yet. :) And hopefully never will.

    This is HILARIOUS, Pat! I smile as I picture you there all feverishly happily weaving yarns like this.

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  13. i would love to see an mri of your brain when you write...all these crazy incredible synapses of brilliance

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  14. pringles before bed is what he said
    the stomach may attack you, and even david,
    but for me it's the head

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  15. haha yes I try not to eat much before
    But either was my brain still takes a nutso tour
    So guess it's just my curse
    But I suppose it could be worse..haha

    haha hopefully there is no trolls in there
    And hey at least it isn't bare
    But if there are
    Slam it shut and attach a steel bar

    hahahaha yes that tush was a sight
    And the think stood at such a height
    It burned into my brain
    As I ran away from it down the lane
    Yes it was quite fun to write too
    Going around the mythical zoo

    hahaha I'm not sure it would be well understood
    Plus I'd have to go to the hospital for that which just wouldn't be good
    My ocd would have a fit
    And gone might be my brillant wit..hahaha

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  16. For you it the head
    Oh that could cause dread
    But you can pop a pill
    And hopefully the ache will have it's fill..haha

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  17. So many wonderful tales you took us through
    How do you remember them all to continue
    each reference more fun than the next
    I'm not sure which I liked best.

    Much fun! Well done!

    :)

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  18. My dear Pat, You make me laugh
    And a smile was much needed today.
    Sneaking a peek, before I run off to meet
    Folks at a house out my way.
    Will they buy...I sure wish they'd try
    But I'll probably be wasting my time
    Much as I fear, I'll rush back to here
    And drink up this most awesome rhyme!

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  19. They just popped in as I moved along
    Whatever came I stuck in my rhyming song
    Many more came to light later on
    But I had to go to bed as it was almost dawn
    Plus it would be way way to long
    Some might find it wrong..haha

    Least the rain as stopped pouring down
    So when you meet them out on the town
    It could be dry
    Might make them buy
    Always welcome to rush back
    As your rhymes don't lack
    And this one might take some time to get through
    Just by looking that you knew..haha

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  20. Trolls, ducks with horns... Genies and lamps and someone who was a big dick.. OMGoodness. My head is in a spin at where we all have been inside the mess that is your mind..or.. is it the pyramid popping (or pooping ) out of the cats sandbox...... OMGosh you've got me going nuts here too now ... sheesh!

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  21. hahaha I made you go crazy
    Can't say I'm getting lazy
    Pyramid pooping out of the litter
    Oh that sounds bitter
    Look where your mind went
    Getting the facts all bent
    hahaha oh I love it
    Such a fun going nuts fit

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  22. Quite a fantasy you go through when you're hungry Patt!

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  23. Yes it's all that fridges fault
    I never should have opened that vault..haha

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  24. Pat - this is an epic riot my man as ever your bannanas and poetic - a combination i can relate to...

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  25. I like... this is good work you've done :) – here’s mine: http://www.image-verse.com/clown

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  26. haha yes bananas I can defintely be
    Here at my rhyming sea
    I knew you could relate
    I guess it's just our fate

    Thanks and yours was a great read too
    Makes me want to avoid a clown or two
    Or more likely them all
    See one and I'll go running down the hall..haha

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  27. I think there is a kaleidoscope in your brain :)

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  28. I imagine you "rhyme" all the "time." This would be good for spoken word.

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  29. What a wonderful piece it is so en lighting from the beginning to the end
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/08/29/unsuspecting-creatures-of-the-night/

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  30. Yes it got stuck there and won't come out
    No matter how much a shout

    My mouth may be dry after reading all of this though
    As today there was a ton at my show..haha
    I'm getting better at turning the rhyme off and on
    So I don't do it from duck until dawn

    The myths played true
    Thanks for the visit from you

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  31. Goodness, I'm going to have to start training to keep up with your marathon poems! I loved all the mythic creatures especially the arrival of Cerberus. Glad the cat escaped his fantasy encounter at the refrigerator.

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  32. What a blast to read! I love the adventure you took me on this morning. Your poetry never fails to make me smile especially when I read it out loud and the clever rhymes add lyrical motion to the thoughts. Thanks so much for starting my day with this smile. Bravo!

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  33. hahaha if you train
    I'll have to make the word rain
    And have it that much longer
    Just because you got stronger
    So everyone else may curse you
    Meaning training you might not want to do..haha
    Yes Cerberus the three head mutt
    Tried to bite the cat on the butt

    Glad the adventure was fun
    And the rhymes oh so clever that I spun
    Never thought about the lyrical motion they make
    But you're right that's something they bake
    See at least I'm good for something
    With the smile I bring..haha

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  34. I will really never understand how you create such long and engaging rhymes, my friend. It would take me hours of construction to make such things to my own content - and even then it's iffy!

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  35. Yeah it doesn't take me long at all
    Can say I fully understand it either at my hall
    But it works so I won't knock it
    Although I might have a fit..haha
    I'm sure it wouldn't be iffy
    And be rather spiffy

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  36. Pat,

    I'm exhausted and all I had to do was read it! Enjoyed your excursion into...everything.

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  37. yes there was quite a bunch
    Now go fill up on lunch
    Then hopefully your exhaustion will go away
    And you'll be ready for the rest of the day..haha

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  38. And I thought all they did at night was chase tree rats around....

    Some of the comments are funny too, like taking a scan of your writing brain. I see you with sweat on your brow, your tie all askew, laughing like a mad scientist....

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  39. hahaha that may not be far from the truth
    Here at my rhyming booth
    And yes the comments are quite fun
    By many that leave one

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  40. {shaking my head} I can't keep up! :)

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  41. Uuufff!!!! I got lost in this amazing and mad adventure´-a few times!!!
    great writing Patt Hat :-)

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  42. haha at least you try
    That counts for something, no lie

    Glad you found your way back
    On the track
    After my rhyming adventure
    For the dVerse venture

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  43. This is the house that Pat built. He pushed the rhyming to the hilt. But I don't care. The story is fair.

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  44. haha glad it's fair
    And you enjoyed my rhyming flare

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