Yes I am very slow. As I was here and there on the go and Pat took the computer from the cat, to write the second book at our mat. So that's the Face it Facts as to why I was slow on such dVerse acts. But the third eye can be so fun, that it just had to be done. So I will kill two birds with one stone. I know it is a stupid saying but do not moan. Of course I'm going to go for a stroll far far far down the rabbit hole. But since when have I not? At least I never get caught.
A Blue Moon Sucked Up This Loon!
The cat opened the fridge looking for some food. But all I found was a rainbow bridge, how rude! Although there was a troll with his hand out to me. I guess he wanted me to pay a fee. I figured I was just seeing stuff. So I ignored his huff and puff. Maybe he was really food for me? I took a bite to see. Damn! He tasted really foul and let out quite the howl. But he moved aside and I walked by with such pride.
He laughed as I almost got stuck with a horn on a duck. Okay it was really on a horse but such things I do not endorse. The thing neighed at me like some common thing and then I saw one with a wing. It turned and I found it had two. So I jumped on and yelled "Screw You!"
The troll shook his fist as we flew away and some man with wings got in our way. But I guess he got too close to the sun and the wings were done. They burnt to a crisp and he sounded like he had a lisp, as he screamed all the way down, crashing into a town.
A dog face man, who really needed a tan, pointed up to the sky and I thought we were going to die. As arrows flew at us from below. I yelled for the flying horse thing to go and we avoided the rain of wood. Just as I knew we could.
The sky caught fire as our situation turned dire. This lizard thing wanted us for lunch. Then I saw a whole bunch. The fire from his breath was very hot, but his breath was not. He needed a mint and so much more. His teeth also looked rather sore. So as the others were at our back, we charged this foul breathed one, going on the attack.
The flying horse dodged his fire and the lizard sucked in air like he was filling a tire. I backed up the flying horse and without any remorse, we both kicked his teeth down his throat. The sound he made sounded like a goat. The others ran at his horrible shrieking. I guess no further snack they were seeking.
The dumb flying horse did a twirl and off I plummeted and no I did not scream like a girl. As I saw the mush I was landing on. It seems the day of the dead had begun to dawn. It was so gross, their issue I did not even try and diagnose. I slated the gunk off my paws and stuck out my claws. The funny looking human tried to bite me. Damn that! I decided to flee.
I hid behind what I thought was a hairy bush. But it broke wind and turned out to be a tush. The hairy ape thing groaned and turned around. His big feet were quite profound. Again it looked at me like I was dinner. But just like the rest, he was not a winner.
I swerved from his grasp before his hands could clasp. I ran and ran and ran some more. Until I was blinded by something of lore. The city was huge and sparkled with flare. I also noticed a rather well dressed pair. They looked all high tech with their little toys, but were running around screaming like little boys.
I noticed my paws were becoming wet and soon learned why everyone was beginning to fret. The damn island was sinking into the sea. This was just not a good day for me. I hopped to the highest tower I could find and looked for the flying horse to save my behind. Yet as everything sunk and I began to drown, I was kicked by some human wearing a fish fin gown.
She kept me afloat until I spotted a boat. She then launched me on board and I was met with a horde. These folks talked rather funny and were after some money. I guess there was an island with treasure, too much to even measure. Luckily the ship was vast and they could not find me as I climbed the mast. I stayed there for what seemed like hours and then came the rain showers.
Some big tentacle thing came from the sea and started whacking the boat with such glee. It totalled their poor boat, as screams came from their throat. They still spoke in tongue, but I knew their bell was rung. This monster created quite the mess. So I swam ashore and read the sign, which said "Welcome to Lochness."
I delved into the forest to try and make it home. I had it with this stupid fridge rainbow dome. Yet I came across more dumb humans chanting in prayer, I just had to stop and stare. As the city glistened with gold, my greedy instincts took hold. I grabbed a gold bar but could not run very far. The damn thing weighed a ton. I could barely lift one. Although it was not long before they caught my behind, but thankfully they were kind.
I was sent to their leader who sat on top a throne. He let out a rather cheery moan. With his hat kind of like mine, except his was green with a black line. He was saying something about his pot of gold and how I was quite bold. He then heaved me down a hole and told me not to lose my soul.
The place was dark and dreary, not at all cheery. Some guy asked if I wanted to cross the river. The look of him made me quiver. No way was I going near his canoe looking thing. Then I heard some three headed mutt sing. Boy was that a sight. As if a mutt with one head was not bad enough to fight. It snapped at me over and over. But it was quite the dumb rover.
I ran under it and the dumb thing snapped its own heads in its fit. The thing whined a bit and shook off its hurt. No blood seemed to spurt. Then the thing came after me, but I zipped along like a buzzing bee. I saw a bright light and immediately took flight. That mutt was not going to catch my little rhyming ass, even if it did have three heads coming out of its mass. I flung myself into the air and jumped into the bright light lair.
Some stupid snake wanted me to play and steal some apple from his bay. I told him get the two naked humans to do that, as that goose intrigued the cat. I did not know whether to have it as a snack or to watch it quack. The thing was laying golden eggs left and right. I was not about to again fall for my greed plight. As I figured next I would find a three headed cow and that would just be wrong some how.
So I trotted off and found a box, guarded by some blue ox. The thing had a name tag and Babe really looked like an old hag. She let me open the box too. I guess smart guards are not blue. Some voices moaned from inside and I slammed it shut not opening it wide. No Pandora size mistake for this cat. Plus Babe dropped a cow patty and I knew that was that.
The stink blinded me as I went through some mist. I finally saw some guy shaking his fist. He actually looked like he was doing the twist but could not pull it off and was rather pissed. I guess he was some wizard long ago but some cowardly, heartless, brainless crew pulled the curtain back at his show. Now everyone was in the know, that he was nothing but a phony bologna with a name that was not John Doe. I left him in self pity and came across a one eyed old bitty.
I was grossed out as out came two more. They popped the eye out like it was a chore and then shared it between the three. It was certainly a sight to see. They ranted about how they could see my fate and something about one breaking a dinner plate. I guess it got caught in some string or some other thing. They bickered like old women do and I left their one eyed view.
The mist cleared and all around, nothing but sand could be found. Now I had been holding it for a while but did I really need a litter box that stretched more than a mile? There was only so much I could dig and no I did not enjoy it like some pig. Meaning I was not as happy as one in shit, for I was about to have a fit. All that walking was wearing me out and I gave a shout. But the cactus man was just a mirage, maybe next time I will play in the garage.
I heard a click as I moved a little bit more and a pyramid popped out of the sandy floor. I went inside to get out of the sun and wished I had a gun. As tall grey men surrounded me and they looked rather freaky. They even tried to stick something up my little rhyming ass. I was not about to let that pass. So I scratched one and ran circles by the ton. They looked down at the marks I made in the sand and thought it was quite grand. I figured what the hell and ran down the hall before they caught and threw me in some cell.
A light shined bright on a lamp in the middle and I heard some strange fiddle. I heard the myths and figured I would give it a shot. So I gave it a rub and the room got hot. Smoke filled the place and out popped a face. The rest of his body came after and then some delirious laughter. I guess I got three wishes now. But I did not trust this freaky smoke thing that began to bow. Yet I wanted to give it a try and catch him in a lie.
So I wished to be home and he sent me a garden gnome. I wished for a snack and he sent me to a horse race track. I wished he would go pound sand for life and heaven only knows if it caused him strife. After he went poof and disappeared, the cave reappeared. Gone was the lamp but the place was still damp. I could hear a drop of water drip into a puddle below and I walked around, stubbing my toe.
I hopped on one foot and heard a click. Oh someone was a big dick. As through a hatch I went and yes I was beginning to get bent. I landed on more sand of course. I still blame that stupid flying horse. But there lied a cup, ragged and worn like it was chewed on by a pup. I just had to quench my thirst. So with one quick burst. I ran up grabbing the thing and under the puddle I gave it a fling. Then sucked the dirty water down. Yes it was not as clear as my town. But beggars cannot be choosers I guess. "Oh My God!' I cried, as I was out of this mess.
I looked around and home is where I was found. The fridge was bare and my stomach seemed bloated like I ate a hare. All I can really say is the next time you get indigestion your way, close the fridge good and tight or prepare for a agonizing plight. It is safer to grab your rod and go fishing for some bass. Trust my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.