So this weird looking guy appeared all hologram like and I told him to take a hike. But he just kept staring, as I continued swearing. He then stated he was the Beyonder here through some type of transponder. He was doing research and had questions for me. So essentially he was some over glorified telemarketer, yippee!
He said he wanted the Face it Facts on the questions he presented. The dick stole my line, like it he had created or invented. I could not do much of course, since this bad looking Odin rip off of a hologram stood all Norse. Every time I gave him a whack, I just hit the floor of my shack. Stupid line stealing prick. There had to be some button to flick, getting rid of this clown, as he finally headed to question town.
"Is there a time limit on fortune cookie predictions?"
How should I know? Does it look like I eat dough?
"Are eyebrows considered facial hair?"
My face is all hair, so what do I care.
"Can a short person talk down to a taller person?"
I believe they can with much sass. Now go back to your Star Wars convention and become one of those things that are all ass.
"Can you yawn in your sleep?"
"Is it still a day dream if it's night?"
You sure are boring, I'll let you know after I stop snoring.
"How come cats butts go up when you pet them?"
Because they either want to slap you or make you scratch their behind, it's true.
"Why do you say heads up, when you really mean duck?"
Because I hope you get run over by a truck and your questions suck.
"Do bald people get dandruff?"
Ask that Drazin guy, although beware he may lie.
"Can you still shove it where the sun don't shine, if it's sunny and you're on a nude beach?"
Why don't you go try. Oh wait! That's a horrible image, but if you do I hope certain parts fry.
"Why do you press the start button to turn off the computer?"
I guess it's too complicated to make a turn off switch or it could have been a glitch.
"Where do people in hell tell other people to go?"
I'll tell you to piss up a rope, afterwards clean with some soap.
"When caught between a rock and a hard place, is the rock not hard?"
Let's test that theory. I'll biff a few rocks and you can tell me if you're still cheery.
"If pro and con are considered opposites, wouldn't the opposite of progress be congress?"
Hmmm that one is rather good, use that I should.
"If something is new and improved, how can it be improved if it's new?"
That is also true, buy something like that and then sue. False advertising it could be, might get a hefty fee.
"How fast do hotcakes sell?"
I don't know. But you have got to go.
With that I really gave a huff and a puff and the hologram Beyonder thing fizzled, looking kind of rough. So Cassie finally came around and we blew a lot of hot air where he was found. Then POOF! His question asking behind was gone and he did not respawn. Too many questions from his hologram mass. I have to go and rest my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.