Monday, October 31, 2011

The Exciting Conclusion! There Will Be No Confusion!

Part two of the frightful quest of the cat and all those left alive that visit his mat. Who will live and who will die? Who the hell is this cocky voice guy? I bet I know who your are thinking it is, him and his godly biz. We shall see and now that is enough out of me.

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At first I thought Mama Zen really did have powers, as the floor continued its showers, because she stood on nothing at all. When Indiana Jones I did recall and knew it was some stupid mirror trick. Thank God for that flick. I jumped over beside her and curled up my fur, as everyone followed suit, Fox almost stomped me with his boot.

Nothing but spikes were seen all around, besides all the bodies that fell down and began to compound. A light shined down from above and a rope dropped down, to which no one was showing any love. It smelled like a trap. I wish Gizmo had left us an app map. Another door opened up from an adjacent wall and I wasted no time jumping for that, making it and ducking down to a crawl.

Fred smelled books from the trap door above and that made him give it some love. No idea how he smelled the books, but he climbed up fearing no hooks. He got to the top feeling right at home. I hear his lips even began to foam, as he was surrounded by a library filled to the brim. He shouted down saying things were no longer grim.

Some looked at me and I was not about to move any further in. This voice was not going to win. Dezmond climbed up first, still chasing his exclusive thirst. Then Eliza and Mama Zen climbed on up and made it without a hiccup. LMF went up next and I guess I will have to take over her school of text. Let's just say little miss fun was ummm well done. For the rope caught fire and things became dire. She burned to a crisp quick and I must say death aside, this voice sure had a neat trick. Of course he was a nut and sick but his freaky crap was kind of slick.

Slamdunk jumped on over with me and he could not stop as slick as a kitty. So he stumbled through the door frame and into the room, bringing on his doom. Arrows flew from the wall from side to side and so many hit him he instantly died.

I did my normal cat routine and ducked down below the arrow scene, finding a lever to pull and finally stopped this arrow bull. Fox, Betsy and Brian jumped on over and Fox pretended he tripped like some rover. Falling on Betsy to hold himself up. Yeah I know! Such a love sick pup.

Fred's worst nightmare had come true. The books came alive and tried to smite the crew. Mama Zen had no need for her chi and just decided to flee. Eliza and Dezmond followed suit, Fred eventually did becoming quite ticked off at this voice brute. They slammed the door shut and held it closed with their back and butt, making sure no books knocked it down and went flying across town.

Of course "cough" stalker "cough" watcher Brian noticed everything and a light bulb appeared above his head as his brain went ding. He pointed out how there had to be another exit in here, so the arrows could be shot out by our great puppeteer. We scoured the room and Betsy even picked up a broom. Apparently there was dust that left her in disgust.

Fox had his Grammar Nazi skills at play and noticed a word on the wall was not spelled the right way. He gave a rather snarky remark and put the letters in their right arc. As he finished straightening them all nice and neat. The wall turned around and caught Fox by his feet. He went around with it and disappeared. I hoped the voice did not try and shave off his beard.

I could not reach so Betsy and Brian tried to repeat. But it appeared to be an unattainable feat. I hoped these guys were better repo people than door openers. Boy, did we need the Ghostbusters.

The books stopped clamoring and the group let go of the door, slowly moving across the floor. Mama Zen fell through a rotten board and dangled there while Dezmond wrote everything down with such flair. Fred helped her up and she screamed "Duck!" as they were being shot at by hockey puck after hockey puck.

Elisa dodged one just in time, yet Dezmond was too busy writing and could not move on a dime. He got cracked upside the head as the other three fled and his body the hockey pucks began to shred. Poor Dezmond was now dead.

The cat had a plan and although no one, not even I, was a fan, I made Betsy and Brian get down on the floor and I hit the lever once more. The arrows began flying about all over the place and we all lied flat on our face. With nothing in the way they shredded the far side wall and we could hear freedom's call. Plus that stupid voice saying we cheated. He was becoming a little heated.

I flicked the lever with my tail and we all were glad the wall was so frail. But one arrow still came out and Brian and I heard a shout. It stuck to Betsy's back, yet seemed to cause her little flack. It fell off and her back was all healed up. She did not even give a hiccup.

"Petsy!" I shouted as Brian could not believe his eyes. For Betsy had been telling little white lies. Seems she was not seeking the Fountain of Youth after all because she already found it at her hall. I guess it does more than reduce age. That thing surely is all the rage.

We got outside and a shadow figure approached us from behind. In the moonlight his face did show and all I could think was "sick" in my mind. Seems Brian had the same look, but Betsy was oddly reminded of her nook.

Eliza realized they were in a loo and knew that would not do. If anyone died there the cat would never let them live that down, especially if killed by something brown. She took the back off the toilet and Mama Zen took the other one, leaving Fred with none. So he got creative and stood up on a urinal jumping up and down. It came off and he picked it up, thankfully not wearing it like a crown.

They left the bathroom and Fred went out first, using the urinal like a shield to block the hockey puck burst. Mama Zen and Eliza batted them back and from their use of toilet stuff to attack, they noticed the wall which they were heading to had begun to crack. Fred being sharp as a tack, ran at the wall and let go of the urinal sending it hurdling in the air down the hall. It stopped the pucks and barreled right through, knocking the wall down and they smiled as the outside came into view.

The flying pucks seemed to stop and all looked down not caring about the drop. They jumped out at the same time and thankfully were still in their prime. Although Fred stepped in something eww and looked at the bottom of his shoe. It was orange not brown, the three wondered what could one eat down to make that and then they saw Betsy, Brian and the cat.

They joined us and were as disturbed as Brian and I, Betsy for some reason still seemed to like the thing, no lie. For standing before us all pink and fluffy, the creator of this little huffy, the one who sent the troll out for money, was the frigging Easter Bunny.

He ranted about no longer wanting to be cute and furry tired of delivering eggs that looked like poo to those whose vision was blurry. He wanted to take over Halloween and be oh so mean. So he had a troll collect money for his cause and made this ruckus to get known as a bad ass. He stood all smug awaiting an applause from those around his mass.

We all tried to ring his neck and like something out of Star Trek, he waved his hand and we could no longer stand. He wanted us to bow and showed off his power by making the house go pow. It blew to pieces and flew all around. I barely raised my head and Natasha was found. She stood there looking rather pissed, I guess this house she was about to list. Personally I think he did her a favor. This house would have needed inspection waver after waver.

But why was she standing in the middle of the road? How did she get out of her zip code? She did not appear inside with the rest and then I smiled as all the answers were filled in on my test. A pair of headlights snapped on and let's say the Easter Bunny became a smudge on the lawn. Fox borrowed Natasha's car and rammed it up the Easter's Bunny's ass. He backed up and over him several times shouting things that were a tad crass.

Fox stepped out all glad. Remind me never to make him mad. Then from the Easter Bunny smudge came a glow and within seconds everyone, living and dead, were back at their show. I guess time reset itself when the Easter Bunny lost and Fox left his smudge sucking exhaust.

So for those that were dead, do not worry your pretty little head. I think all memories were wiped too, except for some reason my mind still has them firmly in view. Could be a felines is different or simply my mind is vast so the tale will last. Dezmond if you still want the scoop here it is. Although I'm sure some might not believe this Easter Bunny biz.

I have no idea what will happen on Easter though. Who knows? Maybe Cupid will show. So if for some reason you remember highlights like the stain left on the grass, you now know the full story thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

49 comments:

  1. I always knew that Easter bunny
    Was something more than pink and funny
    You amaze once again, Sir Pat
    And that is an undisputed Face it Fact
    But rather than rhyme, and go all obscene
    I'm here to wish you a great Halloween
    and pray there's no death to something brown
    No amount of candy could help wash that down!

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  2. Interesting read! I caught this post from your title and glad that I found it! Keep up the great work with your blog and I look forward to reading your next post!

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  3. And Betsy? Sorry that I... errr... lost my balance.

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  4. Man I love your titles haha, crack me up all of the time. Nice conclusion, love your stuff, since I know rhyming's... tough? Haha!

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  5. I always wanted to be super girl
    where arrows bounce off my back when I give a twirl!
    Yep, I have to live forever
    some people need me in this endeavor!
    And the twins lasted to the end
    I was hoping we'd be among those to win.

    Amazing Halloween story, Cat
    I never took the Easter bunny for a jealous chap
    maybe he just prefers black and gold
    to those pastel colors that are sold.
    So now will Santa be jealous of Tom Turkey
    and try to hand out yellow and orange jerky?
    lol.....

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  6. LOL!!! Did you just have me killed off by the Easter Bunny??? Well, I guess my rabbit allergy is well suited...Perhaps a warning from some higher power??

    You never stop surprising me. The Easter Bunny was the last thing I expected to hear as the cause of this hot mess.

    This should be a Dr. Pepper commercial..."Believe that noww, Budd!"

    Happy Halloween!

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  7. ha, what a riot, the dark cough cough stalker here to save the day with my powers of od-servation, just dont ask me to repo a dor at your location, ha...easter bunny is kinda weird anyway, always changing colors and making eggs...creepy....

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  8. WHAT? I die in the story? I swear I will wake from the dead and come to haunt you as a zombie, Pats, for this! Mama Zen will help me! Watch yourself, mister, you're sooo going down!
    Unleash the zombie armies!

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  9. Was knocked off earlier on in the 1st Part
    Glad that it did as I don't have the heart
    To mess around with the Easter Bunny's whims
    Just as well, wishing you a great Halloween

    Hank

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  10. Yeah now I know the cat should have ate the thing long ago
    When it first appeared at my show
    But rather than rhyme you say
    You wish Halloween to me at my way
    And still do the rhyme play
    Yes that brown stuff would just cause dismay..haha
    First again are you
    Becoming a habit for Tashtoo

    Yes glad it was caught
    By the title I brought

    Glad it was worth the wait
    And you enjoyed your fate

    I think Betsy will forgive
    For she will have the last laugh and outlive
    All of us now
    Since she found the Fountain of Youth somehow

    The titles I just slap up the first thing that pops in
    Glad they win
    haha rhyming is not tough for me
    At least so far it is nice and easy

    haha if you recall Santa is stuck in jail
    Or worse things have filled his sail
    The Fotune of Youth just popped in
    And had to use it to help you win
    I guess you can never trust a furry bunny
    Better watch Nugget he might be stealing your money
    Tom Turky no one will be jealous over though
    The cat will definitely chow down on him, if his face were to show

    Glad i can impress
    With my rhyming mess

    hahaha when you put it that way
    It is even more a delight to say
    Killed by the Easter Bunny
    That is just too funny
    See I'm a tad psychic too
    And the rabbit allergy I knew
    Glad I could surprise
    When the voice was the Easter Bunny in disguise
    Might be one long ass commercial though
    Interrupting one of your CW shows

    Yeah he is kind of weird when one thinks about it
    No wonder he had this fit
    Your observation's got us out
    So when can live to shout
    Yeah I have no fear of you breaking in to bush number three
    After those doors you were unable to open and set us free..haha

    hahaha you come back
    As Fox crushed the Easter Bunny in his car attack
    But if you go zombie I know to shoot you in the head
    I'll gladly take on the undead
    Mama Zen charges a fee I hear
    So you may also be a poor zombie trying to spread fear

    Yeah seeing that bunny was not a great sight
    So one can be glad they were knocked off early in the night
    Then just came back all happy as can be
    After the Easter Bunny was crushed and we were all set free

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  11. What's been going on here? I obviously can't leave you unsupervised!

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  12. Happy Halloween,

    Thanks for supporting our community in the past,
    bless you.

    welcome back with your talent any time.

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  13. hahaha yeah you might be a tad lost
    Seems things went to hell at such an awful cost
    If other mary was there
    She could have fried the Easter Bunny's hair

    Sure I suppose I was there
    Or I'll just nod and agree so I ruffle no hair

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  14. That Easter Bunny
    wasn't funny
    Made some people's noses runny
    and isn't at all sunny
    Didn't act sweet like honey
    just wanted to steal our money
    well, and also put us in his tummy.
    ha.

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  15. haha yeah he really tried to shed his cute and furry
    As it made as all scurry
    In that darkened house with our sight so blurry
    And making us all worry
    Served him right to be a smudge
    Looking like nothing but soupy fudge..haha

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  16. And it was worth borrowing Natasha's car to do it, I must say!

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  17. This was like a great nightmare! I never noticed the back drop of a library on you post; did that just appear? Perfect for Halloween.

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  18. Epic Halloween post. Nice story! Hehehel

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  19. haha hopefully you did not leave to big a dent
    Natasha then might get bent

    Hmmm never noticed before
    Maybe you took a detour
    As it has always been with the cat
    At least for a good few months at my mat
    Maybe the nightmare played with your mind
    I would not blame you if you were confused by my little rhyming behind..haha

    An evil laugh too
    So Halloween of you..haha

    You going all Terminator now?
    Can you sound like Arnold that would make me wow

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  20. i'm just blog walking, and stop your beautifull blog. Also give you some comment here.

    Nb: Oh ya, dont forget to visit my blog too. And give us your opinion about my blog.

    Thanks for share.

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  21. Books came alive? I had that nightmare few days ago :o

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  22. Blog walking and not hopping
    Was that due to all the head chopping

    haha yeah those big ones will really hurt
    And some of them even try to flirt

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  23. LOL! This is hysterical. Thanks for the laugh :) I'm smiling so big right now.

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  24. Nice one pat! Your rhyming skills know no boundaries!

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  25. see that weird black hole up next to your right window above the book shelves? That's where me and Mama Zen will be lurking with our zombie armies when you go to sleep tonight ... you have been warned.

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  26. Eeek!~ I think Brian and I better repo a door and cover that hole Dezmond is talking about!

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  27. Pat- Like I said, I'd either be wrong or ruin the tale, but in such I never disappoint, cuz when I'm wrong, I'm wrong without fail. Old nemesis of the Cat did not show for this ordeal. I really thought you were going to either have Drazin be the voice, all jigsaw like, or he'd be the one to save us all-that would've come out of the blue- Something like the old cliche that's spoke of time and again, but never fails in it's fun-If I'm not getting those slippers, no one is-type of thing. But I like the easter bunny and the Hop reference fun, very glad to see all I got was an orange smudge upon the sole-lol

    Fun piece, Perhaps for Easter they'll be the first appearance of the Blood Thirsty Peeps:)

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  28. watch out Betsy, we shall come through your oven too :) when nothing is baking and you're least expecting us ;P Some Mama Zen and Dezzy Zombie cookies at your menu totally unwanted!

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  29. Oh, crap, Dezmond means business!

    Betsy! Throw me the keys to your SUV, quick!

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  30. don't you already have a set? lol....

    Blood Thirsty Peeps? Oh gosh...

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  31. Come through my oven? LOL....let me just turn that up to 500 degrees.....

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  32. @Betsy: You mean that spare set that I... ummm... found? The police confiscated them, remember?

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  33. and you aren't in jail yet? lol....

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  34. Glad I can make you smile large
    Now do you feel even more large and in charge?..haha

    Yes I seem to have push the limits on this one
    With all my rhyming fun

    Now you just told me where you will come from
    So when you come through you'll get an arrow stuck in your bum
    And when you turn around boom
    A grenade will bring on your doom
    Just don't splatter your zombie guts on me
    That would mess with my ocd

    hahaha yeah a door would be good
    If repo this one you actually could..haha

    Yeah it was a tad too violent for Drazin
    He isn't that brazin'
    More of a brute
    Then playing death's flute
    And oh everyone is on about the zombies now
    I guess I will have to work that in some how
    Dezmond may get his wish
    But his zombie self will sink into the sea with the fish

    EWWWW so they'd come through and be cookies to eat
    Some zombie cookie meat
    Ewwww again
    Not a treat I'm sure she would serve her five men

    How can you get the suv in front of the oven?
    I know I should make some crack about lovin'

    haha don't worry the cat will get him first
    And end his blood thirsty burst
    He can't get by my traps
    I'll have him going zombie laps

    Then he will roast
    And you can serve zombie toast

    Found?
    Yeah good choice of words, "window breaks" what was that sound?

    The irish mafia paid his bail
    I guess they want to make sure he doesn't cut a deal and rats with a wail

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  35. oh yes, I bet you're right...stole my keys and got outta sight!

    Would never roast Dezmond to eat...just to cook his great big feet!

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  36. Yeah I would not put if past the Fox
    Probably even stole a pair of socks
    Or something from your glove box
    Maybe he left you a pretty glass ox..haha
    hahaha ohhhhh you should soooo do a zombie recipe
    That's something I want to see

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  37. ox as in cattle or ox as in smooch and hug
    lol..I'll take a guess which he'd prefer at his rug.

    You think he stole a pair of socks?
    What happened to his own? Did he loose them? What a shock!

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  38. "How can you get the suv in front of the oven?"

    You drive it through the wall and crush the zombies

    "I know I should make some crack about lovin' "{

    Or not...

    My socks are right here on my feet, by the way. And as far as the ox... well...

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  39. haha meant like one of those glass figurine thingys they have of animals everywhere
    But yeah I think I know which he'd prefer at his lair
    He's shoes sank in the mud
    And socks got full of crud
    So ran off without anything
    With your key ring..haha

    Yes those ones are on your feet
    But who knows where the ones are for your key stealing meet and greet..haha

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  40. OK Dezmond, we're ready..bring it on!
    The oven is toasty roasty hot
    It will singe your eyebrows off
    and then Cat will laugh and scoff.

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  41. hahaha looks like the zombie chickened out on us
    Maybe he did not have enough fare for the bus
    And could not get close enough to use is powers
    Or got stuck smelling the flowers

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  42. a flower-smelling chicken zombie?
    doesn't sound so scary now, huh!
    hahaha

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  43. Pat, why aren't you a multi-platinum Rap artist?!

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  44. Now THAT'S what I call writing. I bet you didn't steal that from anyone (unlike my students). I don't rhyme a lot myself unless... it's about politicians. Have a nice day :)

    http://rcbenglishclass.blogspot.com/2011/08/there-once-was-politician.html

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  45. hahaha nope I think all the scare is out of old Dezmond now
    He may still be able to scare a cow

    It is fun here
    As I go on with each cheer

    hahaha oh I'd like the money from that
    But it be a scary sight a rapping Pat

    Yeah I don't think I could steal this from anywhere
    As it just has my own rhyming flair
    Politicians deserve only rhymes
    For all their head spinning bs chimes

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