Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I Said Don't Make A Sound And Then dVerse Noises Were Found!

Might want to plugs you ears, this could cause tears. For some of it is so horrible to listen too, it might drive you right to the loo. It was just so noisy at the dVerse way. I guess everyone was trying to have their say. The cat went in and took his seat and the walls seemed to be crying trick or treat. I told them to shut the hell up, which lead to this dVerse hiccup.

The phones were ringing,
And the walls were singing.
The dVerse pub was crying,
The quiet was surely dying.

Then came the clanging,
Along with some banging.
Some clucking followed that.
Sure intirgued the cat.

As did the cawing,
So I began clawing.
The racket I couldn't bear,
I knew this was rare.

But the hissing ensued,
And the cackling was rather rude.
The snorting was scary,
As the volume began to carry.

I told Brian there was quacking,
He thought my brain was lacking.
Then came the whining,
Right out of The Shining.

It was quite loud,
The thing seemed proud.
Next there was a tinkling,
That was just someone sprinkling.

Now there was a new beat,
The tune made me stomp my feet.
Even with the chattering wall.
And the person in the bathroom stall.

Until it started to squeal,
I asked Claudia what was the deal?
But she was too busy napping,
To hear the wall yapping.

It was wheezing away,
And sneezing through the day.
Giving a thunderous grunt,
And calling me a runt.

It thought I could bark,
Guess it missed the mark.
It's scratchy voice,
Left me no choice.

For everyone had begun to snore,
Falling on the floor.
That wall had to die,
And stoop mooing at this guy.

The chattering snarl moaned at me,
Gasping and piercing telling me to flee.
The cheeping was creepy,
So was the snoring from those that went sleepy.

That damn thing gave a chirp,
Followed by a burp.
Gagging at its own growl.
Followed by a whistling howl.

With some tapping clapping,
And some finger snapping.
A bubbling popping,
With some rhythmic hopping.

A rumbling tone,
A clattering groan.
Add a piercing yell,
And this wall had to go to hell.

It rattled and cooed,
Offended and shrewd.
As I heard a boom,
From the wall of doom.

Splashing whispers in my face,
Sobbing at my embrace.
As it began croaking like a frog,
And I tore through the log.

A trumpeting sigh gave way,
Like I relieved its dismay.
Soothing its pitch,
As it called me a bitch.

I soon made it bawl,
As the dVerse crew began to wake and crawl.
The yelping still brings me delight,
And the silence helps me sleep at night.

For I had saved the dVerse bay,
From complete noise induced disarray.
By clawing a hole in that whoopie cushion,
And shut off the sound it was pushin'

So if Brian and Claudia see a hole in there wall, blame the one in the bathroom stall. As the Face it Facts are simple today. The cat saved the dVerse way. From all that sound pollution. And that was the whoopie cushion revolution. Who put it in the wall though? That I do not know. But it was sure full of some type of gas and really annoyed my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

75 comments:

  1. I actually participated in a dVerse prompt, now that I'm back to blogging.

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  2. Uhhh... I forgot that you already knew that, and commented on the post, haha! Looks like my head was stuck up my not-so-little, sometimes-rhyming ass!

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  3. Did you ever watch Always Sunny in Philidelphia? Anyways, there was an episode a few seasons back where the main charachter lost her cat in the wall. She spent the entire episode trying to figure out how the cat got in the wall and how to get it out! Reallyy funny show. This post reminded me of it so ignore my random comment lol.

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  4. Yes I saw that
    And it was read by the cat

    You seem to be getting forgetful in your old age
    Maybe it's all the pent up road rage
    What's one more dent in your car
    Just don't come up this far..haha
    Give that head a good tug
    And you'll once again see your mug...hahahahaha

    Was that the one with Jack Bauer the cat?
    If so yeah I remember that
    I've watched up to season 5 of that show
    When I get time I'll get the needed dvd set and catch up with it's flow
    Random comments are fun
    So no problems when they are done

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  5. This is fantastic. You covered lots of ground. I'm amused. Loved it!

    Hank

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  6. The whoopie cushion revolution LOL! That sure was noisy. *giggles*

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  7. Like your header and how your poems have cats in them. My cats like that. :)

    Amusing poem with an intense beat to it, adding to the clamor you're creating. Great job.

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  8. Whoopie Cushion Revolution - that is too funny!

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  9. haha been meaning to remodel that wall anyway, what better time than today, especial-lay if it was making all that noise-eh? but any time you want to play exterminator have your way, say guess we might need to pay just send a bill in the mail i am sure it will reach our pail and we'll read and say oh hell, oh well ring the bell, ear to the shell we might drown, but always glad to have the rhyming cat in our side of town, no need to get down, or tear walls to the ground, hire a hound to bound and bound around the mound looking for sound, we got you and that is all that really matters.

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  10. LOL Walls wheezing...yapping... Good grief( Said Charlie Brown) remind me not to come for a sleepover at your house. ;)
    Very witty write from you Pat. Well penned!

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  11. These lyrics are great. You have an awesome way with words. Keep up the good work man.

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  12. Your rhymes are great
    There's no debate!
    Thanks for this post!
    I loved it the most!

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  13. I just noticed none of my tags were showing either and I wasn't showing on Poets United blogroll... Darn it! Just d/l a fresh install of WP and now the tags are working again. Sometimes technology is a right PITA << Pain in the A** :)
    I didn't think for one minute you're ignore me :)
    You are wayyyyyyyy too nice for that Pat~!

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  14. Yes the noises it made
    Would not fade
    And really went all over the place
    At a howling pace

    The whoopi cushion revolution has begun
    But all the noise was not fun

    Yes the cats take control
    And the rhymes take their toll
    Pat just sits back
    And lets the clamor attack

    haha yes the whoopie cushion revolution
    Could be a good new years resolution

    Glad I could save you some time
    And end that whoopie cushion chime
    Now you don't need to tear it apart
    And can take heed and heart
    Building it to new heights
    Maybe adding a few lights
    The cat is all that really matters too
    Oh how nice of you
    But your mound found in the ground really might confuse a hound
    As it could be too profound for one tightly wound

    Brilliant I like to be
    Here at my rhyming sea

    haha the walls in my place make much more noise
    That of ummm joys
    As they are thin
    So I hear all the sin
    Whether I like it or not
    I hear a lot..haha

    My way with words will keep on going
    With each and every showing

    You loved it most you say
    That could cause a fight my way
    Others might think they do
    What is the cat going to do with you
    But you are berserk
    So that could work

    Yep can be a big pain in the little rhyming ass
    But I give it sass
    I checked and you weren't on the blog roll yet
    Sure blogger is just slow so don't fret
    Oh I'm wayyyyyy to nice you say
    I must be doing something wrong my way..haha

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  15. haha pat - i'm honored to appear in your poem...even if i'm busy with napping..haha...so it was you...whoopie cushion revolution...eh..? smiles

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  16. haha yeah I broke you wall
    As that whoopie cushion was having a ball
    Making you all nap
    As it took it's sound lap

    It hurt the cat's ears
    All those awful cheers

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  17. Unbelievable! You've got it covered well.... like wall paper =)

    Been having trouble commenting here... keeps kicking me out. I'll try again. =)

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  18. i am going to make this comment rhyme
    but i am a man of few words...so until next time...

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  19. Haha, very inventive- I have to admit I never saw the whoopie coming-lol The whole piece though had a great songlike quality to it, of course because of the rhyme, and perhaps the echoes off the wall, or the stall- mm I don't know for sure, but all the sounding words in here were awesome to hear...er..read., thanks

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  20. RYN: I had some coding on a couple of entries that was wrong and Feedburner wasn't sending the pings to places I enter the posts too. I see it's showing up on Poets United Blogroll now and I checked the pingback thingie with Feedburner which came back with an 'OK' so, hope it shows to you now :)

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  21. Oh Pat..this is such fun, you are so clever!

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  22. Lol ...much fun to be had, here at your gaff....Thanks Mr cool cat :)

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  23. Where do you find inspiration to write so much? :o

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  24. The wall paper
    Did get torn a bit in my whoopi cushion caper
    Yes dumb blogger seems to be a pain at times
    Even to one who rhymes

    Oh you used the easy one
    But it was still fun..haha

    Yeah the whoopie came out of thin air
    As I went on my noisy tear
    Glad they were fun to hear er read
    And they didn't make your ears, er eyes bleed..haha

    Yes it works better now
    Blogger is no longer having a cow
    Once again showing your show
    With it's ever so nice glow

    Glad I can be clever some
    With my little rhyming bum

    Mr. cool cat like your applause
    To his rhyming cause..haha

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  25. I have no idea where it comes from
    But the inspiration just keeps coming out of my little rhyming bum..haha

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  26. what is with you and this obsession with loos?
    I must ring Freud, he might give me some clues!

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  27. the bums, the asses and your favourite poos
    I'll come to the bottom of this toilet blues!

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  28. great this time you linked us to those unknown poets ;.)
    Funny as always and witty too

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  29. You make rhymes seem easy but it takes a certain kind of 'mind to wind' it the way you do. (And that's the best I can do right now).

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  30. hahaha don't send your toilet guys after me
    That's not something I want to see
    I guess it just comes out because it rhymes easy enough
    As I huff and puff
    I would not want to get to the bottom though
    Stay on top because the bottom is an ugly show

    Yeah there was only two
    So Mr. Linky was easy to do
    Witty I can be
    At least hopefully

    A certain kind of mind
    Such as the one i can't seem to find
    Guess it takes a nut
    Stuck in a rhyming rut..haha

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  31. I love it! A fun little story and a theme song, too. How lucky are we tonight :)

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  32. haha if you say you are lucky I'll agree
    For it works for me

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  33. Pat, you always leave me with a big smile. Tell the truth now: How many brewskis did you sample before the rest of us arrived at the pub?

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  34. huge *xtrasmiles* with this one Pat ~
    who put the 0 in the whoopsie go go # gone
    heehe 'your rhyme' sure made me smile
    can imagine the racket of that sound
    good job you brought Brian around
    lol
    Lib
    (ty for lovely comment Pat
    made me smile too ~ but not breathing fire
    on this one ~ I'd be a firehazard down at the pub dverse ~ :)

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  35. I think you have a future in the rap business...I was hip/hopping with the rhythm there.

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  36. haha the cat can't drink
    And Pat no longer goes near that rink
    So not a one
    I'm just naturally fun
    Or ummm nuts or insane
    Either way I'm on some sort of loony train

    haha glad I can make you smile
    Brian needed that noise gone, it was so vile
    Yes a fire hazard you would be
    If you got mad and tried to boil some lass or lad at the dVerse sea..haha

    Pat and rap
    hmmm I think that future has quite the cap
    Maybe I could just sell the stuff
    That would be enough..haha

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  37. Yeah, that's right, we dVerse types are always making noise - that's what you get for coming down the pub!

    Entertaining story as ever though my friend; always leave here grinning!

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  38. Ha..ha.. why were we all napping
    with all that noise yapping
    but this was a fun read Pat
    and thanks for your kind words ~

    I appreciate it ~

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  39. Sound abound in this rhyming round
    good thing you didn't go boom
    I looked up then down, then turned around
    and finally had to zoom
    back to the pub to get some grub
    and perhaps a drink or two
    The Face it Facts is where its at
    My comment/rhyme is through! :)

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  40. But where went the quiet
    An edict ignored despite it
    So much noise in the halls
    No matter, your piece doth enthrall. (I think)

    Cheers!

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  41. I bow to the brilliance of your rhyme....you can never be out done, now or anytime :)

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  42. I thought it would be a mouse.
    Guess I'm always a little soused.
    Too much time at the pub around the corner
    Because I'm a
    uh
    fornercater.

    Couldn't think of anything.

    Love,
    Lola

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  43. Yes too much noise for the cat
    Next time I'll just send Pat
    So I won't pop a vein
    But sadly he can't entertain

    The whoopie chushion was full of toxis gas
    That made every human pass out in mass
    See always a way
    Here at my bay

    Yes did not go boom
    Even with the wall doom
    A bomb would have been no fun
    I would have had to run
    Don't have too many drinks
    You might get into some drunken hijicks

    The quiet would not stay
    Making my hairs fray
    The noise just would not stop
    So I made the wall go plop

    Glad I can't be outdone
    And my rhyme has won
    Just don't bow too long
    Might get stuck and that be wrong..haha

    haha could think of anything
    But your next bar fling
    Oh that shame
    At least you tried the rhyming game..hahaha

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  44. I love how you help me suspend disbelief and make the pub real. Too bad the cat can't get up to mischief in the rest room.

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  45. Fun I can be
    At my sea

    hahaha oh that would be just what we need
    The cat at the rest room on his feed
    Desmond would pop a vein
    With all the bathroom talk causing pain..haha
    Glad I could make it real
    With my sound making rhyming wheel

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  46. Hi Pat-- thanks so much for ever visiting me. I find your work consistently quirky and interesting-- you madden us sometimes with rhyme, I think-- but perhaps it's good to go mad on occasion. xxxj

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  47. haha oh I'm mad altogether
    No matter the weather
    So quirky works fine by me
    Actually causes such glee

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  48. Wow...I wonder if you rhyme in your dreams? you've gotta... unless, you let the cat take the lead. Another clever rhyme game ~

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  49. I've been none to on occasion do that
    It sometimes gives me an idea for my mat
    So all is well
    Unless I somehow get stuck in hell

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  50. Brian sounds sassier than a mayan :P
    Claudia hmmm fuck it, i don't know what rhymes with Claudia.

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  51. Hmmmm applaud ya might work
    Could also be an added perk

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  52. This takes 'if walls could talk' to a whole new level! :)

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  53. hahaha that is very true
    See I can up any thing to a new level when I'm in a rhyming stew

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  54. Hahaahah..... a whoopie cushion! Brilliant Pat!

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  55. another classic from Pat and his cat. Orlin saves the day in his usual kick-ass way.

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  56. wow thats some skill with verse, like the blog followed

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  57. Whoa! That cat may have a lot to answer for.

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  58. so many noises.. so many sounds :)

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  59. Why did this remind me of a farm o-o

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  60. Pat I just love your work and enjoy reading it so much I am so happy when I see your name and can not wait to read what you have written you are an inspiration and so creative enjoyed this so much
    http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/10/18/farewell-my-three-legged-friend/

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  61. Do you speak in rhyme all day? You must do.

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  62. Yes the whoopie cushion really makes a lot of noise
    Sounds like a whole herd of girls and boys

    Orlin has fun saving the day
    It does give him a big head though I must say

    Will follow back too
    With my skill indicated by you

    Bah Brian has to catch me first
    The cat cat run in more than a quick burst

    Yes your ears must hurt
    At least you are now alert

    Probably because of all the noisey animal sounds
    Seems to be many at the dVerse grounds..haha

    Glad you enjoy my rant and rave
    Here at my loonie rhyming cave
    You were so nice with your remark
    I forgot all about that dog bark..haha

    Nope I can compartmentilze and turn if off
    I tried it once and some tended to scoff

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  63. For all I know
    you might be Poe
    with the noise in the wall
    to scare us all
    at this time of year
    with Halloween here!

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  64. haha yes I threw in a Halloween feel
    Just make it more real
    Then swayed away
    As I went about my rhyme play

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  65. What a wall! You have brought such an image of such a one dimensional subject, enjoyed this! ~ Rose

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  66. haha yeah never one dimensional my way
    As I am a crazy person and all at my bay

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  67. quite entertaining
    in explaining
    everything
    that sing
    on the floor
    behind the door
    ...

    a fun read,
    your rhyming ability is great.

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  68. haha glad it was fun
    As I gave the wall a shun
    The ability comes with ease
    Guess the cat must just have one too many fleas

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  69. It was in the loo
    that I found you
    and Brian too
    you both were pushin'
    that Whoopie cushion
    it was all I could do
    to flee the loo

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  70. hahaha oh that would be fright
    And quite the sight
    That whoopie cushion plight
    Jus wouldn't be right

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  71. Hehe. Great rhyme! It was sublime! A poetic mystery tale for the modern time. :)

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  72. Or perhaps adventure tale would be a better description...

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