Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Every Flipping Word! Yes, Pat Truly Is A Movie Nerd!

Now this one took a little extra effort to do. There are enough movies here to make one turn blue. The ending rhyme was the challenging part. But thankfully I did not suffer a brain fart. So here is a new way to get your movie fix. Oh, and can you spy how many flicks?

Rumor Has It Once Bitten Spies Like Us Stakeout The Dream Team.
Unforgiven, Behind Enemy Lines They Saw Transformers Scream.
Half Past Dead Grumpy Old Men Buying The Cow,
Breakdown After The Sunset, O Brother Where Art Thou?

Beyond A Reasonable Doubt Coach Carter Hitch,
Derailed Detroit Rock City Because I Said So Richie Rich.
Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang Matchstick Men Die Hard.
Nothing To Lose Newsies Stomp The Yard.

Peggy Sue Got Married At First Sight,
To Kill a Mocking Bird Virus Judgment Night.
Whatever It Takes White Men Can't Jump, Liar Liar.
True Lies, For Love of The Game Zapped Aladdin Man on Fire.

The Count of Monte Cristo, Uncle Buck, Turner and Hooch, Undead or Alive?
For a Few Dollars More Dirty Dancing Rambo Made Fast Five.
Nothing But The Truth, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest,
Presumed Innocent Once Upon a Time in the West.

In Hell Ghost of Mars Grease The Man Without a Face.
Losing It Leaving Las Vegas Godzilla Shattered The Clearing Rat Race.
The New Kids, The Principal, The Fox and the Hound, Hiding Out Near Dark Club Dread,
Watchmen In The Valley of Elah Kill Shot Dawn of the Dead.

Footloose Flawless Flubber In Good Company Lean On Me.
Dumb and Dumber Find Me Guilty Definitely, Maybe.
Mars Attacks Good Luck Chuck Gremlins Next Deck The Halls,
Resident Evil Starship Troopers Rebound Sky High Space Balls.

Armageddon Bewitched Careless Juwanna Man.
Carolina Skeletons Casino Fanboys Hard Wired Big Stan.
Knocked Up Men In Black Romancing The Stone Seven.
Slam Dunk Ernest The Escapist Derailed All Dogs Go To Heaven.

Commando Cliffhanger Chicken Run Clerks Take This Job and Shove It.
The Princess Bride Coyote Ugly Field of Dreams Flushed Away The Big Hit.
Invaders From Mars Gone In 60 Seconds Clean Slate Total Recall.
The Postman Robots Abandon Air Force One Firewall.

America's Sweethearts Big Failure To Launch Friday Night Lights,
Proof Happy Gilmore Can't Buy Me Love, Reality Bites.
Madagascar Fools Rush In Striking Distance Frequency High Noon.
Gung Ho The Ghostbusters Goin' South Saved The Man On The Moon.

Now wasn't that quite the hall? I gave you tons of movies on my wall. Did you find them all? The facts are that well over 100 I gave a call. Not that I like all of them though, some just had to be used for the flow. I guess even the crap is good for the occasional rhyming lap. But for an exact amount, I will be mean and make you count. So ends another rhyme time movie pass and that is all from my little rhyming Kick Ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Thought Nantucket Could Trick Me! I Am Too dVerse At My Rhyming Sea!

Before we get to the post of today Pat has to have his say. Yeah, the cat let him on. Let's just not make a habit of it at my lawn. Anyway, he just wanted to say have a look, at this Wonderful Review Elisa gave of "A Not So New World," his first book.

In the comments below the other day, Bones came and had his say. He stated he could not wait until the cat did "There was a man from Nantucket." I and everyone else knows he wanted the cat to rhyme it with cluck it. No? Buck it? Suck it? Duck it? Pluck it? Ohhhh Canuck it! He wanted me to go all Canadian on it with a rhyming fit. So I canucked away and here is the man from Nantucket display.

There was a man from Nantucket,
Who went out in search of his bucket.
It seemed a thief had come in the night,
And stole the bucket from sight.

He traveled to Frog Suck, Wyoming.
Through the back alleys he went combing.
He ended up in Humptulips before long.
Literally doing that is just sooo wrong.

Eureka! He ventured too.
But his poor bucket never came into view.
Mosquitoville wasn't pleasant at all.
Those things were three feet thick and ten feet tall.

Pumpkin Buttes was a nice place to be,
He heard you could tell a person's soul from each pumpkin you see.
Spooner almost made him go blind,
And his bucket he still could not find.

He visited Thursday on a Tuesday,
That was quite the confusing display.
Looneyville truly stuck to its name,
As no one there was tame.

Booger Hole was just gross,
The little kids picked and flicked the most.
Walla Walla and Tum Tum were dead ends.
I guess he and The Three Ninjas were not friends.

Nutsville could be taken in so many ways,
They even had some questionable displays.
But Dildo really took the cake,
Who named that place for God's sake?

Bigfoot and Camelot were no good.
Remain in lore they should.
Defeated was a losing battle,
He could not stand their pity party prattle.

Sugar Tit sounded so fun,
But he got so hyper he pulled a Forest Gump, deciding to run.
He went through Forty Fort,
And Eightfour's court.

Why they didn't have eightyfive he did not know.
But he decided to let it go.
For he came to Boring.
And everyone was practically snoring.

Lizard Lick was nasty indeed,
I guess those lizards thought humans were feed.
Frying Pan Landing had him looking to the sky,
I guess frying pans had fallen and killed some guy.

Halfmoon was quite the sight,
Everyone walked with pants at half mast, day or night.
Hungry Horse and Moose Town,
Were fighting over some animal crown.

Conception seemed to have big tummies galore.
While Landfill's stink you could never ignore.
Cranky Corner he did not like,
They kept cursing and telling him to take a hike.

He went through Santa Claus,
And Hambone gave him an applause.
He reached the edge of Climax,
About to call it quits and relax.

When he spotted the thief going through Hooker.
He sure was not the looker.
He had the bucket in his arms.
And the man sounded Blue Ball's alarms.

The police from Alf and Ben Hur arrived,
Thankfully everyone survived.
The man now had his bucket,
And set out back to his home in Nantucket.

Sadly the facts of these are all true. Blue Ball's and Dildo's with Hooker's and Hungry Horse's are all out there to view. Who came up with some of these town names is beyond me. But they certainly are a dVerse sight to see. There are truly a whole mass. Dead Horse, Ding Dong, Tarzan, Many Farms and so much more got a laugh out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 28, 2011

Stuck In A Crowd! They Are Just So Loud!

So the cat took a wrong turn the other day, trying to avoid Drazin and his so called godly display. I ended up in some upity up place, where everyone seemed to have a stone face. They were all yapping with their lips constantly flapping. Each thought they were above it all, acting like they were ten feet tall.

Well they may not have been of such height. But a freak I surely would not dispute day or night. The more I heard from the group, the more they threw me for a loop. Not that they were hard to understand but why did they ever think they were so grand? Then it hit me like a brick when I saw one glance around and seeing no one, he scratched his ummm errrr dick.

For Woodrow seemed to have a Woody.
Cecilia was not a Cissy and thought "oh goody."
Richard just thought he was a Dick.
As Edward turned to Ted and became a hick.

Patrick went to Paddy.
I thought I knew that laddy.
Charlotte had a thing for Letty.
I guess neither were too petty.

Elizabeth and Margaret could start their own band.
Each having twelve that could give them a hand.
But Mary felt lucky by being unlucky.
As she had thirteen to keep her just ducky.

Montgomery desperately searched for some Gum.
Veronica and Franky would not give him some.
Charles turned to Chuck,
And just thought what the truck!

As Roberta became a Bert,
Thankfully no one was hurt.
When she ran her truck through the wall.
Rudolph went all Rollo thinking it was a dance hall.

If you ever want a Pony,
Look up Napoleon not Tony.
As Anthony may seem great.
But two legs is his fate.

John became a Jack,
As his pick up lines seemed to lack.
For he sent Sarah and Sally,
Running for some far off valley.

Sukey took Susannah and tried to rob,
Poor defenseless Bob.
But Robert stepped up.
And their scheme suffered a hiccup.

Henry wanted vile Hank,
To just walk the plank.
While Eric and Rick,
Still contemplated how Richard became Dick.

Virginia was upon us.
Sending Jane home on the bus.
Blanche and Bea seemed delighted by the moon.
As Melody and Lodi sung a tune.

Brian and Bryant thought they were a giant.
While Margaret and Peggy searched for a new client.
Adam and Edie signed up fast.
But Aaron and Ron knew their business would not last.

It seemed Benjamin and Benji were hunted.
And their growth became stunted.
Bridget turned to Biddy,
Dancing a little diddy.

Frederick and Fritz,
Tried to do the splitz.
While Tobias was Bias.
And I was not about to show these guys any pious

For now I knew what was up with these clowns.
Why they were trying to keep their frowns.
It seems they had a second side,
Strat! There's Drazin, time to hide.

Still interesting how such names arise, having no apparent facts to gals or guys. Maybe I should call Drazin Baldo and it would catch on like Where's Waldo. Maybe now I will go nickname some grass and hope poor Paddy does not ground my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

A Wild Walk With Some dVerse Talk!

So dVerse wants me to wander into the wild. But it is no longer mild. All this damn snow makes me want to stay inside. But I guess the cat can take a quick stride. Although this wilderness is kind of scary, at least maybe I will find a juicy berry.

In the wild I roam,
Farther and farther from home.
When what do I see?
More that disturbs me.

A guy in complete misery,
Dressed as the Statue of Liberty.
The meaning truly lost,
Buy one, get another at half cost.

A ten thousand dollar suit,
Taking a different route.
Avoiding the homeless scene,
For they are far too unclean.

A tip worth fifty grand,
Right in your hand.
For some fancy art,
That's as abstract as a fart.

Forcing others to yield,
For your backyard football field.
Where no ball has been caught,
But you like it a lot.

Selling guns to kill,
And drugs to thrill.
Not to mention the third most traded,
Humans to be used and invaded.

Idolizing a douche for winning,
Beating each other over the third inning.
Ratings on the rise,
Who cares if we tell lies?

Yet more civil than the baboon,
More graceful then the loon,
More wise than the owl,
And still constantly on the prowl.

Nice and polite in the daylight.
To those you wish to bite.
The rest can leave stage right,
Lost in the endless night.

A skin crawling cold,
In the wild I behold.
Running back for home,
The wild I no longer roam.

You humans truly are wild. Well maybe not so much that booger eating child. The facts are you are all just strange near and far. You create your own zoo and pretend it is not true. Such a weird mass and now I better go lock away my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 26, 2011

The Questions Continue To Arise! Some Have To Be Lies!

So that dumb Beyonder guy spurted out questions once more the other day on my dVerse tour. Most of them I ignored that came out of his yap. But a few intrigued me as he went about his question rap. So let's see what many think and hopefully you do not hit the brink.

Can you get cornered in a round room?

I suppose if trapped by a broom. That could bring doom and trap you in such a tomb.

Do fish ever get thirsty?

Do I look like a fish? All the cat knows is they make a yummy dish.

If you try to fail and succed, which have you done?

Isn't this fun? Do both count? But then that would be double the answer amount.

Since flying is safe, why is the airport called the terminal?

Maybe humans think they are versitle and should cover all bases. So they don't get egg on their faces.

Why do they call it a pair of pants?

I guess they were named after someone with implants. It must have prevented them from counting right, creating such a plight.

Can I use the AM radio after noon?

Only if it's a good tune. Other than that you'll have to go to a different time zone mat. But then it is always AM somewhere. So what do I care.

If a cow laughs does milk come out it's nose?

Then all you need to do is attach a hose and instant dairy. Although to the cat that is still scary.

So you are IN a movie, but you are ON TV?

Beats the heck out of me. I just hope the TV can handle your weight. They are getting awful skinny of late.

Can you blow up a balloon under water?

Your lungs it could slaughter. I would not try, doing that you could die.

Why do Doctors open a practice?

I guess in case you get stabbed by a cactus. Or school wasn't good enough and they need to see you in the buff.

So rain drops and snow falls?

I guess using the same word would sound absurd in the weather halls.

Did these facts make you think? I know you had to blink. Some of these could confuse. Still say the pair of pants or even a pair of underwear is not the same as socks or shoes. But yet they are called the same. Another mystery with our oh so great name game. Maybe I will go ask a bass if fish drink before I eat it with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Time To Make A Buck Or Two Off The Black Friday Crew!

You know the economy or at least your wallet or purse or whatever you call it, could get a whole lot better if you exploit the Black Friday nuts. Who swing their butts and guts, trampling over little old ladies while acting as if they have won a Mercedes.

On Black Friday it seems brain cells go out the window and the brain shuts begin to flow. How that is different from most other days I do not know. But even the most slow person seems to hit a new low. Oh! A big dollar off I must have it! As the stupid person grabs it in a fit.

So since everything is magically wonderful on this day and people will buy anything on display. Especially if it says sale on the thing, even though that is mostly a BIG FAKE word they sling. For a few weeks before they jack up the price, then on Black Friday put it back to normal pretending to be nice. And many are a stupid fool, thinking they got a sale that's oh so cool.

Remember to wear a freaky Jason face mask and now I get back on task. For I promised to show you how to make a buck or two off the Black Friday crew. So here you go, just remember to kickback some to my show.

Do you have some boxes lying around? Hide the shopping carts so they cannot be found. Then sell the shoppers a box for ten bucks. Some would do it, the silly ducks. Or tear up the sides and sell them to the store. After all they may want to write SALE some more. Then they can re-use and give it to the guy who who holds up "The World Is Ending" outside loos.

Sell mosquitoes by the jar. This idea could go very far. Since the stores are sucking ones wallet dry, may as well help and let the little buggers fly. Could suck an enemy's blood or tell you if anything else is in that mud. This could really be the next big wave. Mosquitoes by the jar everyone could crave.

Do you have a dog or a fluffy cat? You can sell their hair, how about that? Yes, people actually use dog hair to knit. I guess it is quite the hit. So the more your dog and/or cat sheds the greater your return spreads. You can even make SALE signs spelled out in hair. It will make you seem like you have that much more flair.

I tried to avoid this but it seems to bring people such bliss. Just do a quick search on ebay and any sane persons nose will curl in dismay. You can sell poo! Even that which comes from you. If you make it all nice and artistic that is. Poo seems to be quite the biz. They have mouse poop neck laces and Insta poop in pretty cases. So take the shovel out back and throw the dog poo in a sack. Hell, I could have insta pringle cans full of it. YOU ARE NUTS IF YOU BUY SHIT!

A blind date would work well too. No! Not with me or you. That is just scary and besides the cat is too hairy. All you have to do is get many to sign up for it and then pair them up bit by bit. Hopefully there is an even number too or a threesome could come into view. The cat will not go there but I am sure it will be quite the affair.

Sell them an alien abduction and use your vaccum for suction. Sell them a trip to the zoo and once they pay let them in the store to view. A bucket of sand, saying they will be investing in a diamond worth twenty grand. A trip to the moon and tell them to meet the cow at noon. See just be inventive and your wallet will fill. People will buy anything if they think they can save a whole dollar bill.

The facts of Black Friday are, one should not stray far. Remain home and do not roam. Or go be fooled by the stores tricks as they take in money like bricks. Well you could still be paying off what you buy until next Black Friday gives a cry. Truly can be a brainless mass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

You Cause Too Much Flack! Take It Back!

I know all of you down below are thankful and all today. Been there done that at my bay. But the cat is sorta, maybe, a little bit, thankful for all of you. Oh dear, that was hard to put into view. Betsy, get out of my head. This sweet and dear stuff just doesn't need to be said.

I really need to get better locks to avoid such brain knocks. Or at least better sound proofing in this thing my body uses for roofing. All those voices just seem to confuse and now it's simply time to abuse. Mother Nature needs to get a life and stop causing the cat strife.

Take your stupid snow and send it to the jolly guy that goes "Ho, Ho, Ho." I want none of it. Especially with the morons and their driving fit. "Oh look it's snow." That means the faster I must go. Morons indeed. They just keep sprouting up like a bad weed.

I know the cat must get real. Mother Nature does not give a strat about causing us an oh so white ordeal. So the cat will give her a deal. Wait until a time when the cat or Pat does not have to go anywhere before breaking the snowy seal. Or I will call up Storm and have her create things out of the norm. How would you like that? No longer would you have control, you old bat.

What? Storm is fake? Oh why don't you be quiet and go bake a cake. Mother Nature did not know. Now I have to think up another excuse to stop her stupid snow. That white stuff has got to go. Maybe I need that Frosty Returns spray stuff that was invented by that old crow.

Then I could attached it to one of those planes that spray crops and watch as all the stuff drops. Poof will go the snow and there will no longer be white at my show. What? I could poison you humans with it? Oh please! You have already taken that hit. Just answer your cell phone and give a groan. Now you got radiation in your brain. Maybe that's why I'm so insane?

I need a force field to block the crap. Then it would no longer take a lap. I could extend it far and wide. Then when someone ticks me off because they lied. I could open a hole above their head and watch as a huge mass of white stuff falls causing them dread. Now that would be fun and worth not seeing the sun. Too bad you humans don't have such a thing. I will have to give those aliens a ring.

So the facts are Mother Nature has gone too far. Keep her stupid snow until I have no place to go. Then do what see wants. Instead the old hag taunts. Always sending it when it can be a pain making me pop a vein. Maybe I should just board a train and move my bush to a warmer lane. But then I may not mix with the warm class and they might draw their pitchforks and come after my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Rhyme Time Saves! Even Those In Caves!

Did you know I was doing you all a favor? Yes, even you, you back shaver. For if the cat was not such a nut and stuck in a rhyming rut things could get dire. Your car could pop a tire and send you into the ditch. You could also get a rather weird itch.

As you see no more rhyme to quell your nutty side makes you want to do other things in stride. So be thankful I am around or really bad things may be found.

With no release,
Your bad mood could increase.
Giving you a full crack,
Being anal as can be at your shack.

You might actually "gasp" do work.
And not come here to lurk.
You may lose control,
And go on a rhyming roll.

For with no comments below,
Giving you a way to let them flow.
You have to get them out some way.
That could just ruin your day.

You may actually fall for a dog.
After getting drunk on egg nog.
It is the holidays after all.
Anything can happen at your hall.

Your face could freeze all vile,
For you won't crack a smile.
Then you'd look like frogman.
Could be a superhero with a green tan.

You may get lost,
And that could cost.
Going on a trip,
Or boarding a cruise ship.

When really you could save,
And be at my cave.
Even avoid a back shave.
Although with that things could get grave.

Also no facts.
How would you ever get info on certain acts?
You'd fall through the cracks.
Or lie down and get smushed on train tracks.

And you may even get so bored,
That oh my lord!
You do a little diddy and become pregnant.
You are so flagrant!

What? You are a guy?
Damn! Now now don't cry.
Junior did it first try.
But you can take a deep sigh.

For thanks to me,
Such a sight you don't have to see.
Aren't you glad for bush number three?
Stopping you from even a spending spree.

So there you go. Thanks to my show you now know that I am keeping your rear clear, your face in place, making you avoid a butt sniffing mutt, keeping the world free of pregnant men and allowing you to achieve your zen. I guess I better never stop my sass and for the sake of all let's hope you never hear the last of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Things Quickly Go To Hell, In This dVerse Tale I Tell!

So on my way to dVerse today. It seems I was in for quite the display. All the clowns seems to arise and once again many were not so wise.

Drazin and the Tarsier Man,
Were in another clash.
Neither having a game plan,
Blinded by a color flash.

Stripping the world's color away.
Gunafu of Color joined the feud,
His overacted display,
Made him seem rather rude.

Riot Man decided to occupy,
Spurting out his grief.
But got poked in the eye.
Keeping his statement brief.

Gung and Ho had hopped a bus,
Landing in the tussle.
The Beyonder added to the fuss,
Stretching his question muscle.

Going to dVerse,
To visit the clientele.
Wanting to converse,
But things went to hell.

Gunafu of Color,
Seemed to like Tarsier Man.
But wished his eyes were smaller,
And he had a tan.

The Beyonder had a thing,
For questioning cats.
Gung and Ho gave a ring,
To the group's meeting stats.

All on Imperfection street,
Drazin grabbed a stop sign.
Still in his bare feet,
And acting all divine.

He spouted his own name,
More than any can count.
Anger boosting his flame,
As he took all into account.

Going to dVerse,
To visit the clientele.
Wanting to converse,
But things went to hell.

Drazin swung the sign,
Imprinting Gung's ass.
Ho laughing at the new design,
Got thrown through pane glass.

Poof went The Beyonder,
As Gunafu went down.
Tarsier Man began to ponder,
And then ran across town.

In came the cat,
With Miss Priss close behind.
We stopped to eat a rat,
And were now in a bind.

Drazin heaved the sign,
Missing us by a mile.
Yet spurring a whine,
As we watched him smile.

Going to dVerse,
To visit the clientele.
Wanting to converse,
But things went to hell.

Riot Man still remained,
Pulling out a gun.
No longer restrained,
He shot at us for fun.

Spouting the usual crap,
Like his right to bear arms.
Crying through his liberty cap,
Setting off fanatic alarms.

Miss Priss had enough,
As his gun went click.
Drazin picked us up,
And threw us at the dick.

Riot Man can now go,
Say hello to my little friend.
For a scarface does show,
Thanks to my little rhyming rear end.

Going to dVerse,
To visit the clientele.
Wanting to converse,
But things went to hell.

Now was that not an interesting trip to dVerse? Do you see how things went from bad to worse? But Miss Priss and the cat can't be beat. Especially with Drazin not trying to make us slippers on his feet. All the above facts were true. This tale really did come due. What, you don't believe me lass? That might be wise considering it comes from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Head Shots Don't Get More Points! This Time It's Ummm Other Joints!

So Brian it seems your head shots get more points write is only 99% true. For oh the things I am about to do. This might make some turn blue and yes all these facts are somewhat true.

The day started off like any other one, as the cat was going about his fun. But suddenly I had the urge to rob a bank. I went in with enough weapons to stop a tank. Things were going fine and I also brought some friends of mine. But once we had the loot, Miss Wrinkles had to hoot.

More guys came from all over the place. Yet I was invulnerable and simply shot them in the face. I decided why bag the money and to instead be kind of funny. So I latched my helicopter, which appeared out of thin air, to the vault and lifted off with such flair.

Then some bad guy tripped me up and went on his stereotypical rant without a hiccup. Now it was on. So I leaped out of his pretty plane and landed on his lawn. He saw me as no threat and I was about to make him lose that bet. For once I got a hideout all decked out and turned green giving an Incredible Hulk shout, the strat really hit the fan. Oops! I ran over another man.

Don't worry he simply vanished into thin air like he did not even care. I stole a poor lady's car, yet it blew up and did not get me very far. The cops had me wanted, so I went streaking and taunted. Some big puss bucket guy wanted to crush me and I gave him a face full of bullets for free. But Puss Bucket kept coming, with the grunting he was humming.

He toppled over of lead poisoning I guess, the place was a real mess. Did I mention my satellite that can shoot rockets? I used it to shoot old ladies and steal their lockets. As I Need A Hero blared from my car. Yes, I stole that from outside some bar. All these guys seemed ticked off and they began to scoff. They chased me all over town wanting my saintly crown.

The I went inside my hideout and even though they could still see me and kept up their vile shout, POOF. They all disappeared as I took the elevator to the roof. I decided I was the Hulk and so full of bulk. So I jumped off the roof with such pride. Damn! I think I died. Nope, I guess not. After a mere $500, which was not a whole lot, I was back alive. Who knew it was so easy to beat a death dive?

I remembered what Brian said and so I shot some business looking people in the head. I think one was a politician of some sort and another was a whiny guy who played a sport. So don't give them too much pity. They were quite whiny and not at all witty. I did get more points too. Brian, that's when I was about to thank you.

But the gun in my paw slipped, as over a dead body I tripped. Those things just don't disappear fast enough and holding guns with paws is just tough. Anyway it went off at the next guy and shot him between the legs, no lie. And guess what? I got more points than if I shot him in the head or butt.

Crotch shots get more points is a new low. But that is what happens when you walk down Saints Row. Now if you are a noob, don't be a boob. None of this was real. So the cat has no psycho serial killer deal. I just caused tons of damage in mass and then Pat pulled the plug on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

You Try To Be Nice And dVerse Denies You Twice!

The cat thought he would take a dVerse lap and see what they had on tap. They were all in a frenzy as I came in. I checked to see if I smelled like a garbage bin. Nope! The cat still smelled grand and my feet had no littter sand. So what could it be that had dVerse in such a crazy spree?

After moving closer to the crowd, I heard quite easily the facts because they were so loud. It seems they were demanding change with their poetic exchange. They all ran back to their range and began writing about all the change. Whether needed or not change will always rearrange the plot.

Although that did remind me, I needed some change for my sea. So I figured I would give dVerse some change, as they made change for my change, changing the change I thought about as they demanded change. That did sound strange.

So I asked if they could change my loonie and toonie. They looked at me like I was cartoony. They figured the cat was just up to his usual games and were not about to fall for my claims. I just wanted some quarters though. Yet they were not in the know.

I told them to change my loonie and they gave me a number. They were nice enough to write it on a post-it and stick it to a cucumber. I guess they figured the cat needs more green food. But I just found them rude. The number was for a shrink. They thought I was talking about the loonie bin rink.

So I tried to get change for my toonie and this time I showed my little rhyming full moonie. But the behind of a cat is not much of an unfamilar sight and they were still confused over my change plight. They did turn on the TV for the cat. Putting on Tom and Jerry, thinking I wanted a cartoon, at their mat.

They saw I looked peeved off and before I could scoff, changed it to the Pokemon rap. Now I was done with their crap. I threw my toonie on the bar and stole the change out of their tip jar. I did take into account the exchange rate though. I would not want our exchange to short change their dVerse show.

But then they went and popped the middle out of the toonie. They took turns sticking their eye through it and I knew I should have used the loonie. Since they ruined the coin I just figured I would let them rejoin. I was not about to give the change back. So I left before they went on the attack.

I still had my loonie as I passed outside and watched as a sax player wailed and cried. I chucked the loonie into the case and the sax player made a funny face. Seems she thought it was amusement park money, finding my loonie to be rather funny.

I could not take this foreign exchange anymore and had to get back to my shore. Next time I will just charge it and avoid the loonie toonie fit. I guess one does have to have humor though to give their money a loonie toonie flow. I did not name names as to not embarrass the dVerse mass. For Brian and Claudia might change the channel to Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos the next time I show my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Stupid Flappy! Time I Get Stamp Happy!

Betsy, if Flappy is around when I get out of this hole, stealing your idea is truly going to be the goal. I am going to save up a bunch of cat strat filled pringle cans and shove them in that room with no ceiling fans. Have them all laid out like landmines and watch as Flappy dines. I hope a whole can explodes in her face. Although that would leave quite the mess all over the place.

So I stamped her little bill paid and this is pretty much what over and over again her lips played.

"Blue isn't good. Why don't you use red or a light green or even black? Why not use....."

I think she named every damn color in the book. Maybe that color guy that ticked off Drazin visited her nook. But I will not bore you today with the oh so stupid things she had to say. Instead here are the stamps I would like to display right on Flappy's forehead and cause her dismay.

Of course this one might not work. I doubt she knows text and would think it fun like some jerk. Figuring it stood for Want To Flap. Then she would have another excuse to flap with any old chap.

This might be one of those self help things and she might think she could grow wings.

Again she might think all one is getting is Blah Blah Blah and then start to talk louder or maybe even go baa.

Yes I know. She might take this literally and want someone to go umm down below.

She could find this one makes her seem that much more important or something and continue to let her flappiness ring.

Flappy would probably think this was directed at everyone around her, even those with fur. Or she might think should could only talk in L. That would truly be hell.

She could think this also applies to everyone around. But it would do better in making the point be found.

Now we are getting somewhere. Maybe with this one Flappy will never stray from her lair.

Oh! We are sooo close now. No one cares about Flappy so she surely will try and cover it with her eyebrow.

And what one will get stamped into her thick head and cause her so much dread? Well here it is. Think it will finally stop her flappy biz?

Wouldn't you like one of those stamped on your head? No? Is that what you said? Yeah, it would be more fun watching someone go out into the sun. They would have no idea that at night you made their forehead such a sight. Unless they look in the mirror or shower then there goes your prank power. Wait until they take a nap and so ends another Flappy yap. Now I will stop my stamp happy sass and try not to stamp my feet or my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 18, 2011

You Think You Are Iconic? This Is Nothing But Moronic!

So over visiting Sub Radar the other night, expecting a tune to come into my sight. When I saw this STRAT! Really disturbed Pat and the cat. Even though the cat thinks humans are nuts anyway. This right here is just an utterly stupid, completely moronic display.

Those morons with their houses the size of football fields are up in arms with their shields. They think the $300 million bucks they already made off a garbage film is not enough and want to get rough. These morons want to block everything and I am not talking Limewire or some other illegal download wing. They already have rules for that and already go after people who can barely feed their cat.

These morons want to block every single thing. Even if some guy on YouTube begins to sing. If that tune is made elsewhere. Goodbye! Your channel is now banned and bare. Say you go and write on Facebook promoting something with a movie clip in it. Oops! They have a fit.

Now they can sue Facebook for allowing it to happen even if it was just you and some bad rappin'. That means Facebook, Twitter and whoever else out there would go all big brother on what you say everywhere. Or just not exist at all because the lawsuits would pile up at their hall. Not that I would ever miss crummy Facebook, but still a stupid way to give them the hook.

Then when the moronic people behind this in the U.S. get it going, all around the world it will be showing. Not to mention they will have to tweak the internet a whole bunch, meaning a hacker will have many for lunch.

So instead of actually doing something about the economy. They instead want to take away the internet's autonomy. Only once more helping the rich like some little whoring bitch. Blogger would not even be immune, as they would have to ban things we use to commune. Hell, they will probably stalk our email too and ban each account if something deemed "illegal" comes into view.

And guess what? To prove even more they have their head up their butt. All one has to do is type in the ip address and not the site name and oops! They can still download a copy illegally of that game. No matter what these morons try to do there will always be a way around it if someone wants to view.

By going all 1984 on us, all they are doing is limiting us with their moronic fuss. And what makes more the internet or the stupid greed ridden Hollywood crap? The answer is clear and not those garbage Hollywood horror remakes that have no fear.

If their remakes and garbage sequels aren't bad enough with the rest of their barf worthy 3D fluff. Now they want to impose this crap because raising higher prices at theaters so one can go and take a nap, just does not cut it I guess.

Morons must really consider this true progress. Right? I mean this is such an awful plight. It's soooo much worse than the economy affecting millions. And who would want to deny those who already have billions?

It's not like the whiners are people who are just starting out and need the dough. Those ones use the internet to get across their flow and maybe get discovered and such. But with these changes only those rich whiny bitches will have the creative touch.

So the facts of this is (insert as many curses as you like here) it is complete and utter shit. Anyone considering this is a moron way way more than a bit. They will never shut me up. No matter how far their nose goes up a rich persons behind like some butt sniffing pup. Yes! Today I was a little crass but this stupid thing can kiss my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

You Might Need A Tissue, As The Cat Tackles A Real Issue!

So Elisa asked for one and all to do a loss piece at their hall. But for what source? Why her book blogfest of course This means that cat had to forgo funny as such a thing is never sunny. But I did get a chance to once again stretch my skill, as I went about loss at my rhyming hill. No idea where this came from, just wrote the title and off I went with my little rhyming bum.

Tears of Rain

I long to dry your tears of rain,
Gazing as they ripple with pain.
Aching over a loss so dear.
Shattering life's very chain.
Every sense feeling me near.
Reflections loom with every thought.

Envisioning all we shall never do,
Lingering on hopes untrue.
Shadows spur such belief.
Darkness spreads eternal view.
Truth erupts further grief.
Wishing such pain I never brought.

Your tears continue their dance,
While in your wandering trance.
Life's meaning ever elusive.
Existence questioned surroundings advance.
Feelings true remain reclusive.
I weep at the sight of you distraught.

Longing for just one more,
Sight of me at the door.
Arms wrapping with cementing embrace.
Whispering I love you to whom you adore.
Voiding such an empty space.
Cursing it all for naught.

Thoughts of woe grow dimmer,
As the past starts to simmer.
Agony's grasp loses control.
Heaven senses a slight glimmer.
The little things begin to console.
Over wonders love has taught.

Thankful that last tear was caught.
Giving you some peace
Knowing our time was not in vain.
Humbled by grief's release.
For in your heart I shall remain.
Relishing these joyful tears of rain.

Did you know the cat had such a thing in him? I guess the lights in my head are not so dim. Although I think now I need to go get in a fight with Drazin or Flappy. So I can go from sad back to happy. Anyway the facts are you should check out her blog and book and that is all from my nook. Of course I have to do one more thing lass and that is wave goodbye and walk off wiggling my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 16, 2011

What The Strat! Today I Will Be A Lazy Cat!

The cat does not want to entertain today. Is that okay? No? Well I guess you will just have to go with the flow. Are you calling me a name? Well two can play that game. So with these facts we are about to go on a familiar rhyming show. You want to know why calling me a strat does not work? This is why I have no need to go berserk.

I'm the rubber and your the glue,
Anything you say to me bounces off me and sticks to you.
Left Loosy, Righty Tighty,
Isn't it up and down for a nighty?

A dimple on the chin,
The devil within.
Aren't you a scary fellow.
What happens when your dimple is yellow?

Turn that frown upside down,
And put your issue in a tissue.
Of course advice when most needed,
Is least likely to be heeded.

But a friend in need,
Is a friend indeed.
Just don't be in need,
My OCD will keep me away if you bleed.

He who smelt it dealt it.
Is always a hit.
Or he who denied it applied it.
Will turn around a stinky fit.

I before E accept after C,
Which is complete bull for many.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker,
But what if you are a lollipop licker?

Beer then liquor, never sicker.
Liquor then beer, never fear.
Both are nasty to the cat,
So you can keep that strat.

Early to bed and early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Pffft I wish.
Maybe it only works on fish.

30 days hath September,
April, June and November.
The rest is crap,
Not taking a rhyming lap.

A ring around the moon,
Means rain is coming soon.
Or you are just a loon,
Maybe even a talking baboon.

Hooray, Hooray, the first of May,
Outside diddling begins today.
Hmm I will nod and agree,
For if it's too cold you may not be able to umm see.

Here I sit, broken hearted.
Had to shit but barely farted.
Oh yes that gas can be dire,
Can even enrage a fire.

If the van's a rockin,
Don't go a knockin.
Yeah could be scary,
Seeing things that are rather hairy.

Easy there Grizzly bear.
Don't get hot to trot because I'm in your lair.
Step on a crack and break your back.
Or give yourself a heart attack.

When in doubt throw it out.
That applies to cooking so don't shout.
See you later alligator,
In a while crocodile!

Does that count when I say it to myself? Or does it just make me sound stranger at my shelf? Yeah, I know that is hard to do. As I am loony tunes already through and through. Aren't you glad I used rhymes you knew? Now for one whole time you can catch on fast as you view. And I can go fish for bass and be a lazy little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Another Rhyming Feat! dVerse I Just Cannot Be Beat!

I have not done this for a while. So I made myself run the rhyme mile. For those that have seen it before you will guess the facts right off the bat. Even though this time it was done for EVERY single one by the cat. That is right! Five by Five and thirty two times for dVerse tonight. This one did take a little longer to do. Now can you guess what I did for the dVerse crew?

The Rhyme is Alive
Five by Five

You hoot air before damnation
Into astute prayer for aggravation
Queue dispute stare before manifestation
Through salute declare war transformation

Two route rare Thor narration
Taboo dilute beware your manipulation
View pursuit affair score observation
Brew flute blare roar escalation

Cue recruit snare abhor summation
Screw acute scare adore dislocation
True fruit bear sore reservation
Few permute square oar permutation

Shampoo brute hair ashore stabilization
Askew cahoot ensnare spore oxidation
Shoe shoot share swore sedation
Glue mute glare ignore desperation

Tattoo cute hare decor fixation
Zoo uproot flair store expectation
Outdo commute mare floor allegation
Bamboo lute forswear guarantor monopolization

Review root despair implore investigation
Accrue loot fare drawer saturation
Subdue boot care explore clarification
Anew hirsute where yore mutation

Who impute repair tore tribulation
To refute billionaire nor amalgamation
Lieu moot heir core nomination
Loo repute compare lore calibration

Withdrew suit bare boar creation
Flew coot dare more migration
Crew chute wear pour starvation
Adieu compute swear deplore sterilization

Never fear! Even after this cheer, I will never be all rhymed out. I will have plenty left to shout. And just in case you did not get what is in front of your face, for I know it may take a while to grasp it as my craziness came through in this rhyming fit. Each and every word in their respective spot rhymed from start to finish in this rhyming plot. Now was that not fun and confusing class? If you get rhyme overload, I do not mind if you curse my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 14, 2011

Suggestions From My Mat, So We Won't Get Squashed Flat!

So with them blithering on about us getting flattened like some dinosaur, I figured I would help them out with their asteroid chore. They seem to be having such trouble thinking up stuff, which brings forth another What To Do huff and puff.

The facts supposedly are, Apophis will be the next one to come near Earth's bar. But maybe those nasty aliens will send some our way. Who knows what kind of gadgets they have on display. So here is the easiest ways to stop the asteroids. Aren't I just so helpful filling their voids?

What to do, What to do
When an asteroid is going to crush me and you!

So here they come on a destructive path,
Making us suffer their horrible wrath.
Now what are we do to?
Stand around, twiddling our thumbs and turn blue?

At least the dinosaurs had a tail.
They could use it to play ball when the asteroids began to hail.
So that means we gather up all the stupid humans around,
And make them into a bat, swinging them as each asteroid is found.

Or maybe we just stick them all on one side,
Then the asteroid will go wide.
For you humans can get quite obese,
And all together that will increase.

The Earth will be weighed down,
And the asteroid will miss, hitting some other planet's town.
Of course there are those spider things.
Personally I like to eat them, but prefer the bugs with wings.

Anyway they can make a huge web around the globe,
And by using our space probe.
We watch as the asteroids get caught,
In the spiders webby knot.

Heck! It's a rock right?
Why not let another rock join in the fight.
Build a huge catapult thing,
Then let the bigger rock fling.

Pow! The bigger rock wins,
And both go sailing off into the universe's big garbage bins.
We could send up a team with a big parachute,
And have them hook it up to the big brute.

Make sure it is re-entry proof,
And then it floats down and doesn't make us go poof.
Or just strap a rocket to its ass,
Wait! Does it have one of those on its mass?

Okay, just strap it somewhere on it,
Then send it off to some other poor planet to hit.
Just don't piss off any aliens though.
They may strike a worse payback blow.

You know termites like wood right?
So find something that likes to eat meteor and let it bite.
It will think it has found something grand.
And lend us a hand.

The whole world could blow at once too.
Then off it will go from the hot air due.
Heck, politicians should be able to blow it away,
With all the garbage they say.

But if all else fails you and me will board a ship,
Get enough food and water for a million year trip.
Then let the Earth stop the stupid rock.
I am sure sooner or later we'll get over the shock.

Until one hits our ship too.
Then it's goodbye me and you.
So let's hope my What To Do works.
But if not, at least there will be less nasty Wal-Mart clerks.

Now is that not better than throwing a nuke at the rock? After all we could still get some nuclear after shock. This way we are environmentally friendly as well and hopefully will not get blown to hell. Unless of course breaking wind is a contagious thing, for with all you humans in one spot giving such a ring. I am afraid all of that smelly gas will pollute more than a nuke and just ruin the plans given by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Cat Got Your Tongue? Oh You Have a dVerse Lung!

So dVerse decided to be a copy cat and go all about idioms, which were done a while ago at my mat. But if they wish to play cat and mouse, I will surely let the cat out of the bag at my house. There is more than one way to skin a cat. You are a sicko if you really do that.

But this time the idioms won't rain like cats and dogs. For when the cat's away the mice will play with all their blogs. Yet the cat did not go far and just look what the cat dragged in from the dVerse bar. This time curiosity won't kill the cat and all cats aren't grey in the dark at my mat.

For with a little poof, dVerse is going to be like a cat on a hot tin roof. But they won't fight like cats and dogs, as I have a grin like a Cheshire cat and not hogs. Are you really a fraidy cat of that berry? What? I look like the cat that swallowed the canary?

I guess my cat idioms are through and now the scene is set for all to view.

Brian and Claudia both seemed to have lost their way. Also it seemed like there was only two things each could say. The pair had to make it back to the dVerse bar. Yet they did not know whether it was near or far. But I did leave them a tour guide, just to make sure no one got lost and died.

"Now where would you like to go? This is all on the cat just so you know."

"Make like a baby and head out."
"Don't get your panties in a bunch."

The tour guide scratched his head, at first he thought he had misread. So he asked once more and it seemed he got the same nutty encore.

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys."
"The lights are on but nobody's home."

I neglected to tell the guy these two could only say two lines. But I figured they would at least point to the road signs.

"So are you finally ready to go? Come on Brian! I need to know."

"Make like a baby and head out."

The tour guide shrugged and took that as a yes. He chose a direction on a guess and off they went. I think Claudia needed to vent.

"The lights are on but nobody's home."

"Can't you two say anything else? What is up with you two? Are you drunk or something?"

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys."
"Don't get your panties in a bunch."

Brian and Claudia strolled the other way while the tour guide was left in complete dismay. He figured they knew where they were going and was done with the lines they were throwing. So he took off for home and let the two roam. Such a good ten cents wasted on him. But I guess talking to Brian and Claudia would make the situation seem grim.

They stopped at a gas station and tried to ask where they were. But the lines just kept seeming to recur.

"So you two lost or something?"

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys."
"The lights are on but nobody's home."

"Did you escape from the Idiomatic psych ward up the road?"

The gas station man went to grab the phone and Brian stopped him giving a groan. The pair knew they had to leave soon or they would get chucked in the nuthouse like some loon.

"Make like a baby and head out."
"The lights are on but nobody's home."

The pair ran out of the gas station and into the bush. I bet they were really cursing my little rhyming tush. At least in their mind, as the words needed to speak they just could not find. They decided to follow the stars. I hear they can lead you to some fancy bars.

They walked looking up the entire way and ran right into he who pesters the cat at my bay.

"Why don't you two dVerse clowns watch where you are going? Get out of Drazin's way! Drazin is going after Drazin's slippers."

"The lights are on but nobody's home."
"More fun than a barrel of monkeys."

"Are you two trying to piss the Great God Drazin off? Drazin will send you flying all the way back to that fake bar of yours. Would you like Drazin to do that?"

"Make like a baby and head out."
"Don't get your panties in a bunch."

Drazin seemed rather ticked off at the pair. Then he stroked his goatee hair. He saw they were trying to say other things and all the pain they were in from the idiom flings.

"Drazin thought you were nuts. Then Drazin thought you were drunk. Now Drazin knows it's that damn fleabag."

"More fun than a barrel of monkeys."

"Drazin loves it!"

"Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Drazin doesn't wear panties miss. Do you want to see for yourself? Or would the sight of a God's backside be too much for you?"

"Make like a baby and head out."

The pair were not about to see a Drazin full moon and dashed away from the so called godly maroon. He laughed and could be heard yelling as the left out of sight. Still bellowing into the night.

"So Drazin isn't more fun than a barrel of monkey's? The lights are on but no one seems to be home. Drazin guesses you two just wanted to make like a baby and head out or you just got your panties in a bunch. Drazin guesses the fleabags can be amusing for some things. Have fun dVerse clowns."

Drazin watched until they were out of sight and took off looking for another slipper fight, while Claudia and Brian had to rest before continuing their quest. Yet from that Drazin mook Brian felt his words spook. For Drazin was right and the bar was not in just one place. For thanks to the poets worldwide it occupied a huge space.

So thanks to Drazin they had hope and were not longer at the end of their rope. They thought about their bar and with the passing of a car, they awoke back in their dVerse space, each giving a happy face.

"Make like a baby and head out.....I'm gonna kill that cat......More fun than a barrel of monkeys."

"The lights are on but nobody's home.....we'll get him the next time he comes in.....Don't get your panties in a bunch."

The pair still tried to shrug off their speech impairment having little success and blamed me for this whole mess. Can you believe the nerve of those two? Thinking the cat really brought all of this into view. What was that? I already admitted to it at my mat? Strat! I better go and prepare a mass of traps and fill in those gaps. At least the tale has come to pass and you two are now all idiomed out thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Damn It Yankee Doodle! I Don't Want Your Stratty Poodle!

I think I made one butt sniffing crack too many for they kept coming back like a bad penny. They would not leave the cat alone, them and their attention seeking howling moan.

First came some Airedale,
He and Spitz gave a wail.
This Great Dane came after me.
What was so great I could not see.

Some big scary Komondor came my way.
Newfoundland seemed to appear at my bay.
Then I saw a bug,
Oh wait it was just a Pug.

There was a Siberian Husky as well.
He wasn't husky or fat, what the hell?
That Shiba Inu came as a husky wannabe.
Also did things cat like at bush number three.

West Highland seemed to come into view.
Stumpy Tailed Cattle were seen too.
I was even greeted by Saint Bernard.
Beethoven should stay in his own damn yard.

I wish those Retrievers golden, black or otherwise.
Would stop acting like they won the Nobel prize.
Wow you caught a ball.
You're still just a few feet tall.

Norfolk and Norwich were about.
Leonberger got no attention and seemed to pout.
That Maltese you could not please.
And Jack Russell was just a tease.

I wanted to board a Greyhound.
Before some German Coolie were found.
There was also a Dalmatian.
I guess he skipped off the 101 plantation.

Anybody want some Chow Chow?
A Boxer might use it some how.
Maybe an American Eskimo.
I think he liked the Bloodhounds flow.

At least that Malamute,
Did not seem to need to hoot.
Vizsla! I've found it.
Oh Schipperke I overreacted a bit.

Bump, Setter, Spike!
Griffon needed to take a hike.
All this slobber is creating a fog.
That's is just such Bulldog!

Those brainless mutts thought they could get by my traps, with their howling yaps. I fixed them and then some as I taunted with my little rhyming bum. Lassie did help Timmy from the well though, just so you know. They eventually all left my place and I never even had to scratch their face. My traps are just that good, avoid them you should. Do you need these facts in a doggie bag class? Bah! I know most of you caught on fast to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Dezmond Might Be Thrown For A Loop. I Beat Him To The Scoop!

I got the news for you all now. The cat was out in "Fake and Prissy Land" and gave a nice meow. They all thought I was neat and liked my rhyming beat. So I got some scoop on the latest news. Sorry Dezmond for stealing your views.

Sadly it seems poor Jack Bauer will never grace a movie screen near you. It seems his time has come due. No theater would agree to play a 24 movie. I guess smelling the BO of people twenty four hours later was not groovy. They seem to be a tad confused over the title I guess. Plus it does not have remake in the title so that left them in a mess.

And no it was not the rehashed lame ending that brought him to the brink. It was not the movie theaters denying him access to their rink.

It was this thing that came into view. After all the terror stuff he had to go through, he could not take having to go to space. Plus that finger just seems to linger. Did it touch something foul? Control you and make you howl?

Maybe it was just because the thing looked to be all head. So alas any hope of a 24 movie is now dead. Not that many held out much hope of it being good. Word was they were going to turn him into Robin Hood.

Just for LMF I looked in on RDJ and boy was his ego at play. I guess for Iron Man 3 he has full say. He seems to think he is super enough. I mean doesn't that stance make him look oh so tough?

He no longer wanted to use the suit. I guess this spurred some dispute. But they came to an understanding and after Iron Man 3 a new RDJ movie will be landing. It is about a crazy person who thinks he is super and prances around like he has the armor of a Storm Trooper.

Gremlins 3 also seems to be inching into production. But I guess they are going to need a new introduction. So poor Billy will be left out in the cold to get chilly. They will also be in CGI ruining the whole thing. Although a new set of rules it seems to bring.

1. Don't answer your phone. It will make them groan and more will pop out, short and stout.

2. Keep your computer off when they are around. I guess they pop out of it like rising from the ground.

3. They turn bad at the sight of another Disney movie being made by Tim Burton. Especially if it's their beloved Snow White, so pull the curtain.

I guess now that computer and phones have shrunk, they can come out of them like a trunk. Does that make any sense? Maybe before they were too dense? Maybe another look should be taken at that Made In America thing. Those foreign products seems to bring them to your wing. So does that mean everywhere else just has Gremlins anyway? I guess they only cause Americans dismay.

Here's one that will really come as a shocker. Yippee Kay Yay Mother Flocker. Yeah they are going to go all G rating for Die Hard 5. I guess they are really getting desperate and really want those primary kids to arrive.

Maybe when he lost his hair, he umm lost some other pair. But I guess when you have a guy who made another horrible video game movie directing the thing, primary kids are the only ones who want to hear his flocker zing.

Did I mention the villain is this guy? Turns out he really did not die. It seems he had stocked up on dairy and was saved by the tooth fairy. He is also a Gruber too. He was married to Gruber's son's, sister's, cousin's, wife's, dog's, owner. Although I hear he is really pissed off because after going Ho Ho Ho he can no longer get a boner.

Oh and it revolves around Easter this time because having such BLOCKBUSTER movies shown in any month past August is just a crime. I wonder what happens if Easter is in March? Maybe it will be about the Gingerbread Man having too much starch?

I was about to go all Who You Gonna Call, but sadly the ever egotistical Bill Murray dropped the ball. It seems he has come down with a fear of his face. So a screen it never again can grace.

I guess after seeing himself as a zombie in that land, he really went off the deep end and sunk into the sand. He realized the zombie make up looked better than his actual face and now he won't even leave his place.

But GREAT NEWS! It seems he can still sing the blues. Another wonderful Garfield movie will soon be coming to all of us. Oh now don't cuss. Poor Bill Murray after all has it so rough. Those Meatballs were over cooked and rather tough. I hear he also chipped a tooth and now Garfield sounds like some old bitty named Ruth.

But doesn't a big fat orange cat coming to a theater near your mat, beat Ghostbusters 3? Yeah I know that was a dumb question of me.

What, you think I goof? You want some proof? You want something saying I was in Plastic Ass Town? I was only trying to help you avoid a crappy movie sit down. I am sworn to secrecy on my sources though. So no actual proof will show.

But would a cat really lie? I am not like that Pat guy. He is full of strat but the cat will bring the truth from the Injected Flubber Lips Land mat. I have tons more info waiting to be verified, so if you don't think I lied. I can send more out in mass and that is all from my movie news sleuthing little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

I'm Feeling A Little Off Today. You Want To Turn Me On You Say?

This just had to be done. I thought about it way back under the summer sun but it just sat on the back burner of my mind. But thanks to LMF's behind it came back. Now if you can't get the facts of this attack, get out from under your rock and get over the shock.

So mate I hear you are looking for a date. These work really really well. Your prospective catch will think you are sooo swell. So walk on up and do this, then you will be surrounded in bliss.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?
What! That only worked on a few?
Maybe my sight's going but you're the hottest guy/girl I've seen all night.
Just make sure you fake having bad sight.

Is your dad a baker? Because you have nice buns.
Just don't touch or you might get slapped tons.
You want me. I can smell it.
Don't over act the sniffing fit.

If you were a drug I'd overdose.
Make sure it's not a nasty drug, that be gross.
You dropped jaw.
This one might end in a draw.

I thought of introducing you to my brother/sister but I'm not that generous.
Yeah we wouldn't want you to be traitorous.
Are you from Tennessee?...Because you are the only Ten I See.
Now ask them out for tea.

Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?
Unless of course they are a stripper.
You are like a glass of do they body good.
Watch out for flying wood.

Want to get some air? You took my breath away.
Just make sure it isn't a chilly day.
Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.
This one might take a few tries.

If you were a laser, you'd be set on stunning!
If they really have a laser you might end up running.
You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.
No! This is good it won't bring you strife.

You're so sweet I'm getting cavities.
The Dentist? Hey it beats comparing them to antifreeze.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can't keep it in.
Okay! Even thinking that one would just be a sin.

I can't wait until tomorrow. Somehow you get prettier everyday.
Now Mr. Stalker don't keep causing dismay.
Is your name Pepsi? Because you are sure sizzling.
Over your head a can may soon be drizzling.

You're the marshmallows in my lucky charms.
You might lose your arms.
I can't taste my lips, can you taste them for me?
Of course it probably won't be free.

So if anyone actually uses those on their hunt, your growth may stunt. As you will probably get whacked in many different spots, lots! Then you would just get a poke to the eye with a thumb for acting so dumb. For you stole lines presented by a cat. What is up with that? There are many more that are crass but the cat will leave that to you class. For you are all a weird human mass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

DAMN! The Cat Is Great! The "Strat Hits The Fan" At Any Rate!

So the cat was employed by Pat to come up with something to do with strat. I had to charge overtime because this took a good two hours unlike my usual ten - fifteen minute rhyme. But if you thought the little theme song up in the corner for my place was something. This will just make me the rhyming king.

I do it my way and do not need no stinkin' book trailer shown at my bay. This is much more then just a talking voice with some background score. The cat was not about to be a copy cat. Plus I never follow the rules at my mat.

Once again I have outdone myself, here at my shelf. Yeah I'm a cocky cat today proving once again I can do most anything at my bay. Of course the cat cannot speak human like all of you, meaning the voices were from another crew. That's just in case you wondered why there was no meow. So hit play now!

The Strat Hits The Fan

This was more to gloat than to promote. But I am sure Pat will go and spread it around. Once he pays me for the work at my ground. If not I will scratch him in mass and he will yell strat at my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Who Is Taking The Brunt Of This dVerse Grunt?

"Damn it! I will get you if it's the last thing I do. You and your little dog too."

Alright I never knew if he had a dog but he neglected my blog. So it was time for him to pay and I was no longer going to take his dismay. Let him throw what he wanted to at me. I was going to crush him with a tree.

You can put up a wall and block your stall.
Redirect me to fields of corn or some bad porn.
Play me a death metal tune or have me berated by a raccoon.
This is not going to end, until I can hit send.

Dig in deep you stupid whimpering creep.
Scat the cat around your flat.
I will weather your storm and still perform.
Crack your thunder because here's your blunder.

Throwing me round and round.
Thinking your place can't be found.
But it's time I showed you a thing or two.
You'll be roadkill by the time I'm through.

Drown me in you struggling cries.
Go forth and spread your lies.
No matter where you hide.
The cat will not be denied.

Suck me straight to hell.
I'll rise back up from the fiery well.
Not even hell can trump my flames.
The cat will end your games.

Throwing me round and round.
Thinking your place can't be found.
But it's time I showed you a thing or two.
You'll be roadkill by the time I'm through.

You will not change my stance.
I am through with your dance.
Better to die than to crawl.
I am going to make you bawl.

That shivering will do you no good.
If only you had initially understood.
I will rise from any tomb,
Bringing about your doom.

This is the last time you step on my tail.
My link is going to prevail.
As dVerse drinks their swill.
Mr. Linky will bend to my will.

Throwing me round and round.
Thinking your place can't be found.
But since I showed you a thing or two.
Now my link one can view.

The facts are simple enough, Mr. Linky thought he could play rough. So I got tough and proved he was nothing but fluff. He thought he could block my link. I made him sink in the dVerse rink, that fink. I guess I just had energy to get rid of. So poor Mr. Linky did not feel the love. But now he knows to always give a pass to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Driving Like I Am Using A Walker. May As Well Pull A Brian and Be a Stalker!

Construction Zone Ahead

My you can read!
Reducing your speed.
To that of a toad.
Like your car will explode.

Actually it just might.
When the duct tape takes flight.
Could reuse it on leaves,
If one so believes.

Oh look a rock!
That is such a shock.
You've slowed to ten,
Searching for construction men.

Actually doing your hair.
Still resembling a grizzly bear.
Hands off the wheel,
Because of that last meal.

Guess there was something stuck.
Justifying almost hitting a truck.
Now your teeth shine,
So break open the wine.

Covered in a bottle,
Will you ever hit the throttle?
Nope! Need that construction man.
Going over your game plan.

Look there goes your twin.
Seems she also wants to win.
She waves to each passerby.
Whether girl or guy.

Isn't she quite the looker?
I really think she's a hooker.
I meant no offense.
Sure she'd take your two cents.

The dog walker trots past.
The Weiner is having a blast.
That's Dachsund for the civilized.
In case no one realized.

A#$it and T*X not swear words.
Not according to the birds.
Who perch on the sign,
Acting all divine.

Going on the billboard.
Guess there is some discord.
End of Construction!
Hmph! No one around for seduction.

Ohhh! But there is!
Want a pop quiz?
No hard hat,
Or hose at that.

Need no apple a day,
Or audit your way.
Speeding off down the road.
Back in grizzly bear mode.

Oopsy there is flashing,
Not what you hoped to be cashing.
Your wallet just got light.
Good Luck and Good Night!

I guess the facts are quite simple here. If you want to go slow and have cars lined up at your rear, like some kid with a load in their diaper. You will pay the piper. I knew where the speed trap was at. Guess she did not at my mat. Ohhh it was such a delight, watching prim herself up grizzly bear get caught the other night. Stay home if you want to look into reflective glass! Or just cause enjoyment for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Do Whatever The Heck I Want? Oh dVerse You Should Not Taunt!

So after reading all these rules, which yeah I barely ever follow anyway because ummm I don't have the tools? Would that be a good excuse? Or maybe I just like to hang loose. But once I saw "Do whatever the heck you want" over at the dVerse mat. I knew it had to be done by the cat. So cover your eyes for the colors are about to rise.

"Drazin has you now fleabags! Drazin will have Drazin's slippers before this night is through."

"Maybe he is trying to mock a broken record player? You think?"

All I knew was he had Miss Priss and I cornered in some art studio thingy magigy. And then out came this nut that resembled a piggy. Not in the rolling in the mud kind of way. But the mook was greedy and stated this was his bay.

Is it just me or does Drazin bring these clowns to him? Maybe it's because the godly one is so dim. But he quickly ignored us and we watched this weird moppy haired guy kick up a fuss. It seemed he wanted all the colors in the world for himself and he started sucking the very color out of the sky at his shelf.

Not to mention he danced around like a fool with his brush. But he became quite flush. As the colors sucked into the nut. Orange face and purple gut. Attractive right? I wish we stayed home that night.

"I'm the Gunafu of Color and will suck the world dry, that's no lie!"

"Another friend of yours Drazin? Wasn't popping eye ball man enough?"

"Drazin will squash this thing and get back to Drazin's fleabag slippers in a moment."

He went to crush him and then Gunafu of Color guy flashed his brush making Drazin different colors on every limb. Drazin still tried to crush that nut, but he danced around Drazin making him miss and yes he shook his butt. Then he started in on us and yep! He also should go on the short bus.

Ta Ra Ti Ta Boo Baa Holla Halla Ding Dong!
A little amber with a shade of blue and you can't go wrong.
You'd look good in army green,
With some burgandy and brink pink you'd be quite the scene.

Would you like some cool black?
A spot of dandelion for your rack?
With a touch of deep carmine,
And some duke blue would be fine.

Some emerald and electric yellow,
And now you're a classy fellow.
Some fuzzy wuzzy will make you look strong.
Ta Ra Ti Ta Boo Baa Holla Halla Ding Dong!

Wow! Drazin looked...I can't even describe what Drazin looked like. But he finally grabbed the brush from the Gunafu of Color guy and then Drazin gave it a try. But it did not seem to work and Drazin really went berserk. Then the Gunanfu of Color guy grabbed a mic and taunted Drazin some more as he tried to make him take a hike.

Ta Ra Ti Ta Boo Baa Holla Halla Ding Dong!
You need some heart gold to play along.
Maybe a hooker's green and some honeydew.
I think light salmon would really fit you.

With mauvelous you should be proud.
Some misty rose will surely draw a crowd.
Don't you like that neon green and pale copper?
With some patriarch you could be a color chopper.

That prune and quartz really hit a note.
Oh look! That raspberry pink has my vote.
Rich maroon just does belong.
Ta Ra Ti Ta Boo Baa Holla Halla Ding Dong!

The whole place was now black and white. Either that or Miss Priss and I lost our color sight. The same could be seen out the window too. He was sucking the world dry of color as Drazin's color continued to accrue.

"Let's ring his ding dong?"

Oh that sounded sooo wrong. But Miss Priss and I had enough of his song and Drazin just looked worse than an actual clown, as the colors continued to bog him down. So we snuck around behind the Gunafu of Color and I looked at Drazin shouting "I'd buy that for a dollar!"

The color guy turned around and tried to paint me the color of some freaky hound. Miss Priss teased from the other side and he also tried to make her color fried. But he could not catch us at all and then a hand came around his neck and he began to bawl.

"Drazin will make you holler and knock off your ding dong."

Did they know how bad they sounded saying this? Drazin seemed to be in bliss. For as he choked the color guy, out all the colors began to fly. Everything turned back to normal view even Drazin and his bald head's color was now true.

"The Great God Drazin can't be beat by some color freak. Drazin is going to snap off your damn neck."

Drazin choked him tighter and POOF he went. In a shower of flowers he became and his voice continued to vent.

Ta Ra Ti Ta Boo Baa Holla Halla Ding Dong!
I will next try a silver song,
With some screamin' green and steel blue.
Oh tickle me pink that will be fun to view.

Turquiose green and trolley grey.
Along with USC gold will make my day.
A wild strawberry will be grand.
Some wisteria should spread across the land.

Zinnwaldite brown will give a thrill,
And harvard crimson will have its fill.
Next stop the wonders of Hong Kong.
Ta Ra Ti Ta Boo Baa Holla Halla Ding Dong!

Drazin gave us a snuff and walked away. I guess that was his way of thanking us for today. So off we set for home and hoped to never again see Gunafu the Color gnome. Or whatever thing he is, him and his color biz. Now was that not truly colorfully dVserse class? And that is all the facts needed from my colorful little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.