Friday, November 11, 2011

Dezmond Might Be Thrown For A Loop. I Beat Him To The Scoop!

I got the Face it Facts for you all now. The cat was out in "Fake and Prissy Land" and gave a nice meow. They all thought I was neat and liked my rhyming beat. So I got some scoop on the latest news. Sorry Dezmond for stealing your views.

Sadly it seems poor Jack Bauer will never grace a movie screen near you. It seems his time has come due. No theater would agree to play a 24 movie. I guess smelling the BO of people twenty four hours later was not groovy. They seem to be a tad confused over the title I guess. Plus it does not have remake in the title so that left them in a mess.

And no it was not the rehashed lame ending that brought him to the brink. It was not the movie theaters denying him access to their rink.

It was this thing that came into view. After all the terror stuff he had to go through, he could not take having to go to space. Plus that finger just seems to linger. Did it touch something foul? Control you and make you howl?

Maybe it was just because the thing looked to be all head. So alas any hope of a 24 movie is now dead. Not that many held out much hope of it being good. Word was they were going to turn him into Robin Hood.

Just for LMF I looked in on RDJ and boy was his ego at play. I guess for Iron Man 3 he has full say. He seems to think he is super enough. I mean doesn't that stance make him look oh so tough?

He no longer wanted to use the suit. I guess this spurred some dispute. But they came to an understanding and after Iron Man 3 a new RDJ movie will be landing. It is about a crazy person who thinks he is super and prances around like he has the armor of a Storm Trooper.

Gremlins 3 also seems to be inching into production. But I guess they are going to need a new introduction. So poor Billy will be left out in the cold to get chilly. They will also be in CGI ruining the whole thing. Although a new set of rules it seems to bring.

1. Don't answer your phone. It will make them groan and more will pop out, short and stout.

2. Keep your computer off when they are around. I guess they pop out of it like rising from the ground.

3. They turn bad at the sight of another Disney movie being made by Tim Burton. Especially if it's their beloved Snow White, so pull the curtain.

I guess now that computer and phones have shrunk, they can come out of them like a trunk. Does that make any sense? Maybe before they were too dense? Maybe another look should be taken at that Made In America thing. Those foreign products seems to bring them to your wing. So does that mean everywhere else just has Gremlins anyway? I guess they only cause Americans dismay.

Here's one that will really come as a shocker. Yippee Kay Yay Mother Flocker. Yeah they are going to go all G rating for Die Hard 5. I guess they are really getting desperate and really want those primary kids to arrive.

Maybe when he lost his hair, he umm lost some other pair. But I guess when you have a guy who made another horrible video game movie directing the thing, primary kids are the only ones who want to hear his flocker zing.

Did I mention the villain is this guy? Turns out he really did not die. It seems he had stocked up on dairy and was saved by the tooth fairy. He is also a Gruber too. He was married to Gruber's son's, sister's, cousin's, wife's, dog's, owner. Although I hear he is really pissed off because after going Ho Ho Ho he can no longer get a boner.

Oh and it revolves around Easter this time because having such BLOCKBUSTER movies shown in any month past August is just a crime. I wonder what happens if Easter is in March? Maybe it will be about the Gingerbread Man having too much starch?

I was about to go all Who You Gonna Call, but sadly the ever egotistical Bill Murray dropped the ball. It seems he has come down with a fear of his face. So a screen it never again can grace.

I guess after seeing himself as a zombie in that land, he really went off the deep end and sunk into the sand. He realized the zombie make up looked better than his actual face and now he won't even leave his place.

But GREAT NEWS! It seems he can still sing the blues. Another wonderful Garfield movie will soon be coming to all of us. Oh now don't cuss. Poor Bill Murray after all has it so rough. Those Meatballs were over cooked and rather tough. I hear he also chipped a tooth and now Garfield sounds like some old bitty named Ruth.

But doesn't a big fat orange cat coming to a theater near your mat, beat Ghostbusters 3? Yeah I know that was a dumb question of me.



What, you think I goof? You want some proof? You want something saying I was in Plastic Ass Town? I was only trying to help you avoid a crappy movie sit down. I am sworn to secrecy on my sources though. So no actual proof will show.

But would a cat really lie? I am not like that Pat guy. He is full of strat but the cat will bring the truth from the Injected Flubber Lips Land mat. I have tons more info waiting to be verified, so if you don't think I lied. I can send more out in mass and that is all from my movie news sleuthing little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

37 comments:

  1. nice...we love garfield...guess 24 is all we get, and wont need any more...G on die hard, that one will bounce far i am sure, ugh,

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  2. Oh this rhyme blog about issues from Robert Downey Jr.s Iron Man suit to a lasagna devouring cat reminded me of the rhyming 70's pimp/super hero Dolemite...except he would say stuff like, "Man, move over and let me pass 'fore they have be to pullin' these Hush Puppies out your motherfunkin' azz"

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  3. Excellent stuff as always Patt Hatt. I love it and that's a face it fact!

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  4. just so that you know the police has been informed about a certain cat who kidnapped my team of Madagascar penguins in order to steal Hollywood news from HOLLYWOOD SPY.Poor feline kidnapper doesn't even know that Skipper, Ricco and Kowalski have been trained to create mischief in their possible kidnapper's headquarters. Expect penguin poop all around your place. And they eat a lot of sardines .. which creates a very nasty poop smell ...

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  5. Iron man with out the suit?
    Die hard with out the swears/killing?
    I'm just glad I heard this sad news in rhyme! It lesens the blow!

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  6. haha you that G will bounce quite the ways
    With the oh so sunny language displays
    Maybe he can borrow strat
    As long as a commission is given to Pat..haha

    Hey I could go all crass too
    But Dolemite might come and sue
    Not that he would get much
    And I guess he wasn't crass more than a touch
    Switching the words around
    So just the innuendo could be found..haha

    Going all face it fact too
    Look at you

    I'm glad they have no idea where to find bush number three
    Plus they'd never get past my traps to catch me
    Those penguins do leave a mountain of strat
    I'll pack it up in pringle cans and mail it back to your mat
    I hear they are on a vegan diet now though
    So that nasty smell doesn't show..haha

    haha see the next time you have to say something bad
    Just say it in rhyme and it will sound better by at least a tad

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  7. These movie mentions are awesome. You had me laughing even from the start. That picture by the Jack Bauer bit--epic :0)

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  8. Cool stuff Pat.

    Of course, now I am going to have to go over to You Tube for some "Yippee ki yaya..." clips.

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  9. This is hyserical like always!! My heart dropped when I saw R-Dow standing there in all his glory! Isn't he just beautiful?? And an Iron Man 3?? Yess, we like!!

    ok, wanna be R-Dow Movie king: What movie was that picture taken from? I know you saw it b/c it was on your list...

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  10. hahaha yeah I saw that as I went along
    And just had to use it because Jack Bauer would think it was soo wrong..haha

    Yeah and it's almost Christmas too
    You know you have to give Die Hard a view

    haha yeah that's the kind of "all his glory" I can take
    Literally taking that statement and seeing a pic of that would just be a mistake..haha

    Oh you know you can't get past me on movie stuff
    It was Heart and Souls as he was being channeled by Charles, Beethoven/Midnight Run, Grodin and giving the star spangled banner a puff
    Plus there was BB King in the background
    Was that enough for my kingly ship to be found?..haha

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  11. Plus that finger just seems to linger. Did it touch something foul? LOL
    You really do dig them all up ... good grief! Hehe

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  12. Die Hard as a G movie has my mind reeling?! Exactly what will the movie be then?!? Sounds depressing but hearing it in a rhyme did make me feel slightly better about it :)

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  13. alright, you win!!! I'm pretty impressed, not gonna lie...

    Now I have "Walk like a Man" stuck in my head. Sigh...

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  14. hahaha yes I dig deep to find the "truth"
    Here at my rhyming booth..haha

    Yeah if the last one wasn't bad enough
    That G will make him oh so tough
    To get through that is
    Wouldn't be surprised if it really happened with the idiotic movie biz

    Yippee I WIN!
    Add another one for me in my win tin..haha
    They did do a pretty good version of that in the movie too
    Maybe you need to do what younger RDJ did and go sing it in the loo..haha

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  15. Awwww.... Why would you steal from Dezmond. :(

    Though your stolen news makes me excited for Gremlins 3.

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  16. I wish all my daily news information rhymed...

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  17. hahaha maybe I made it a bit to real
    Although I hear Gremlins 3 will one day be a done deal

    Yeah they were good flicks
    Let's hope they don;t get ruined by some stratty dicks

    I'm sure you could make it rhyme
    Just might take a little time

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  18. Fun piece, looks like Orlin's joining TMZ:) I heard about the Die Hard 5, actually heard the title too, but can't remember the words to chime back for you-but it has Die Hard in the name in a bit of a bad joke clever way. The Gremlins news was news I never knew, Geez, all that news you'd think I was Gary Gnu. Love your rules, funny for sure, mogwai rule!

    I actually heard there would be a new Ghost Buster movie, perhaps it got squashed. Not sure if Murray was slated to go.

    Movies and me get along great. Glad to see there was no talk about a friday the 13th leap year edition or a Reunion at Elm Street or Jigsaw spinning off unto his own, for Horror and me is well, unseen.

    Great write, thanks

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  19. You had me all happy with the Monk poster but no.. no proof. Silly cat.

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  20. I didn't like ET. Yes, I was the one person in the world. I tend to be like that.

    Love,
    Lola

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  21. G rating for Die-Hard 5???!! Wow, surprising. But intriguing.

    Hard to keep the Grubers down indeed!

    I haz my own fat orange cat. :) I'll watch him instead.

    xo

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  22. Awesome movie comments! And yes, too bad there has never been another Ghostbuster movie. I just watched the original one right before the Halloween :-) And ET is waiting on my kitchen counter for the kids to watch tonight.

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  23. Add me to the list of those stunned by a suit-less Iron Man (How will he justify the name? By ironing Thor's cape?) and a John McClane without the mass bloodshed and the requisite potty mouth! "Yippee Kay Yay, Mother Flocker!" indeed! Good grief!

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  24. Movie news in rhyme, that's got to be a first.

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  25. Bill Murray is great, Garfield is great, but the animated movies are poop.

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  26. It was about time Orlin got a movie post in
    So he jumped on down to sleazy town of sin
    Yeah Die Hard in Russia whoopi
    They'll ruin it just like 4 with their whole live free
    They've been going on about Ghostbusters and Gremlins for years
    So who knows if they will ever get any cheers
    Yeah screw the horror crap
    Maybe one day I'll take that lap
    When people need a nap
    Because I'm such a helpful chap

    hahaha Monk wouldn't pick it up
    It was too germy and he would not touch the cup

    Yeah it figures you are the oddball
    Prob out with your booty call..hahaha

    Yeah those Grubers keep coming back
    And I doubt it will be G more like PG but still one big hack

    I know but Murray is being a moron and won't do it
    Even though it will be a hit
    Without the schmuck
    So I say wtf
    And just do it
    Screw Murray's ego and his hissy fit

    hahaha that suit-less Iron Man will steal Fury's eye patch I hear
    I guess having one eye strikes some sort of fear
    They actually used Flocker when I saw the original on tv
    Or something as stupid and silly

    haha hey first time for everything
    Who knows what next I'll give a ring

    Yeah they will ruin the Gremlins if they go cgi
    So I hope any sequel talk will just die

    Bill Murray was great
    Now he just has loads of crap on his plate..haha

    Well they are good for kids
    So I guess by liking them you won't flip any lids..haha

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  27. Wonderful round up of movie titles and movie greats. Garfield, Murray, Monk and all. Hey otherwise who would you call if not the ghost-busters!

    Hank

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  28. haha yeah who else really can you call
    I think that phrase is engrained into one and all

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  29. Thanks, as always, for helping us all face the facts, Pat. I think I will look for a movie to see today. Maybe "Puss 'N Boots." LOL.

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  30. Puss N Boots is supposedly half decent at least
    And yes that cat likes that it stars a kitty beast..haha

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  31. haha geez that far orange cat
    I guess at least he never pees on a mat

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  32. Here I am, dear Cat
    commenting here at last
    I thought it was a long time ago
    that I missed the comments, so
    I was looked way in the back
    but here it is just one month back.
    Yes, I did work an auction this day
    and it was a long one, with lots of pay.
    Didn't get home til late that night
    and didn't read blogs at all, if I remember right.
    But now I've taken the one blemish off my record
    and you can say I've never missed a comment blurb.
    :)

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  33. I guess if anyone has a spotless record it would be you
    Since you keep things all nice and clean at your zoo..hahaha
    Even if you were way late ringing the comment bell
    It just worked so well..haha

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