Monday, November 7, 2011

Driving Like I Am Using A Walker. May As Well Pull A Brian and Be a Stalker!

Construction Zone Ahead

My you can read!
Reducing your speed.
To that of a toad.
Like your car will explode.

Actually it just might.
When the duct tape takes flight.
Could reuse it on leaves,
If one so believes.

Oh look a rock!
That is such a shock.
You've slowed to ten,
Searching for construction men.

Actually doing your hair.
Still resembling a grizzly bear.
Hands off the wheel,
Because of that last meal.

Guess there was something stuck.
Justifying almost hitting a truck.
Now your teeth shine,
So break open the wine.

Covered in a bottle,
Will you ever hit the throttle?
Nope! Need that construction man.
Going over your game plan.

Look there goes your twin.
Seems she also wants to win.
She waves to each passerby.
Whether girl or guy.

Isn't she quite the looker?
I really think she's a hooker.
I meant no offense.
Sure she'd take your two cents.

The dog walker trots past.
The Weiner is having a blast.
That's Dachsund for the civilized.
In case no one realized.

A#$it and T*X not swear words.
Not according to the birds.
Who perch on the sign,
Acting all divine.

Going on the billboard.
Guess there is some discord.
End of Construction!
Hmph! No one around for seduction.

Ohhh! But there is!
Want a pop quiz?
No hard hat,
Or hose at that.

Need no apple a day,
Or audit your way.
Speeding off down the road.
Back in grizzly bear mode.

Oopsy there is flashing,
Not what you hoped to be cashing.
Your wallet just got light.
Good Luck and Good Night!

I guess the Face it Facts are quite simple here. If you want to go slow and have cars lined up at your rear, like some kid with a load in their diaper. You will pay the piper. I knew where the speed trap was at. Guess she did not at my mat. Ohhh it was such a delight, watching prim herself up grizzly bear get caught the other night. Stay home if you want to look into reflective glass! Or just cause enjoyment for my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

36 comments:

  1. I actually really enjoyed this man, these are some awesome lyrics. Keep up with your actions and I'll remain loyal to your faction.

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  2. This one is epic! There are so many lines in here that had me laughing--between the
    grizzly bear, hooker line, the throttle phrase LOL! Awesome!

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  3. so you see a hooker in a construction zone and the weiner is having a blast...really these should never be in the same verse, at least not with my name included, duct tape or not, ha ha because i will have no part of that...hehe...she got busted i see, doesnt that fill you with glee...

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  4. oh, I've always wanted to have me a private stalker or a private maniac :) Me would feel pretty then :)

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  5. Oh poor woman looking like a grizzy bear
    that must have been some facial hair.
    Yes, you got the last laugh
    when she got stopped and you got to pass!

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  6. I bet she was talking on her cell phone, too!

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  7. LMAO this is hilarious
    boy do I know what it feels like when people love loitering on the road
    especially when they're NOT SUPPOSED TO
    what a kiss-my-ass way of driving

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  8. Great Pat.

    Glad your driver did not have to deal with a four-way stop. Or maybe they did and that post is upcoming.

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  9. Orson sez:

    No more old Cat posts in my cup!
    I fi-nal-ly done gots CATched up!

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  10. there's nothing better than duct tape to get those leaves back on the trees... smiles.. and yes - wish i had his reading speed.. smiles

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  11. I saw stalker in the title and I nearly ran away without reading...hahaha jk :)

    This is pretty funny! Back in grizzly bear mode? Remind me to stay away from that on the road! (Did I just rhyme? It was unintentional, I swear...lol) The Love Bug has quite the temper. She might not be as patient...

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  12. When we're out for a drive, I like to give my fellah a surprise. Blow job! he cries. Then he rear ends the next car and dies -- happily.

    Love,
    Lola

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  13. My actions may be insane
    But they will be kept up at my rhyming lane

    haha yeah so much in one
    If was such fun
    Stupid slow driver was good for something
    Bringing this about ay my rhyming wing

    hahaha yes I know how that sounds
    But it's per the usual at my grounds
    I knew you would not curse
    With your name attached to the verse
    Yes it filled me with such glee
    To watch the shiny lights go after her and not me

    hahaha I'm sure LMF can send a private stalker your way
    She seems to have plenty on speed dial at her way

    haha wasn't close enough to see facial hair
    Although I bet she may have had some there
    Still spruced herself all up nice and neat
    And got caught speeding, loved such a feat..haha

    haha I saw it there once
    Thinking what a dunce
    But I think she was texting on it
    Adding more to my fit

    Loitering on the road is exactly what she was doing too
    A slow poke ticket was due
    But she got a speeding one
    Guess either way my little ass won..haha

    hahaha no, no four way stop
    That would be a whole other post hop
    Some nuts at those two
    As I have seen a few

    Glad Orson was able to catch up with me
    After all Silver Fart rarely leaves the computer free
    Too busy pining away
    And I'll end her today..hahaha

    Yeah that duct tape can do many things
    Might even fix a pair of wings

    I scared you oopsy did not mean too
    But what's one more to your stalker crew?..haha
    Yes you are cathing it
    Going out and having a rhyming fit
    The love bug
    May just need a hug..haha

    hahaha at least he's happy
    And things didn't end too sappy
    I guess you walked away without a scratch
    To go kill another batch..haha

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  14. Loved the Dachsund for the civilized line- that was great. Loved all the observations, so true though. Traffic stinks, all backed up, and no place to go- Oh I hate driving sometimes lol fun piece

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  15. Road rage in poetic form, well done!

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  16. your rhyme skillz are at the top

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  17. haha yeah not much to do with slow pokes
    But maybe hope she chokes
    So I looked around
    To see what was found
    Then recalled as I went on this rant
    At my little rhyming plant

    Yeah road rage is better in rhyme
    Doesn't make you cause much of a crime

    Glad I'm at the top
    And not a flop

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  18. My son is 19, the girl 17.
    Which is pretty keen.
    Because if I have too much to drink by far
    They can load my drunk ass in a car.
    But, soon they'll be 21.
    And my drinking will be done.
    Because they can now drink.
    No more designated drivers, I think.

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  19. Poetic road rage? Whats next beat box whistling? Actually this is one of my favorites of yours.

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  20. So she was looking for cat calls
    and instead got an officer with white walls?
    Poor thing got a ticket
    now doesn't that just take the biscuit!
    Those tickets are expensive
    I'm sure she looked a little pensive
    and then her debt was massive
    and her mood no longer festive.
    haha.

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  21. Lyrics are great..but I just don't know what to replay XD

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  22. your rhymes are amazing bro

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  23. Ugh, don't remind me of construction zones. Projects that should only take 6 months take 3 years over here.

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  24. Reminds me of the road today. Effing sucked.

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  25. Maybe she managed to flirt her way out of the ticket. :D

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  26. hahaha glad you got your drunk ass covered twice over
    Maybe when they turn legal age you'll have to teach rover
    Then you'd have a driver that may like to drag
    Watched out for the tail wag
    Or save for taxi fee
    Either way might not be free..haha

    haha beat box whistling would be fun
    That should be done
    Who knew road rage could be so well received
    Even if it left me peeved

    The one on the road WAS looking for cat calls
    This one was primping herself in the car instead of her halls
    Yeah they are close to 300 bucks here
    That just strikes fear
    Nope not longer festive I'd say
    Way too much wallet dismay..haha

    I need an instant replay
    That could be interesting my way..haha

    Glad I can amaze
    As you gaze

    haha not that bad here
    Still a pain though I fear

    Guess I was just psychic and gave you a glimpse of what you were about to see
    Just don't go and blame me

    The grizzly bear would have to flirt really hard to do that
    She'd have better luck meowing like a cat..haha

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  27. Whoa $300 is quite a lot
    ours are a little over $100 for one speeding shot.
    Funny they gave you so much amusement
    as you drove off into the distance!
    ha.

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  28. Wow that is quite the difference between the two
    I guess if I ever go south I can speed and if a ticket is due
    It will be way cheaper than here
    Giving me less fear
    Yeah it was quite funny
    Pay back for moving slower than that dead easter bunny..haha

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  29. Yep, and you can speed three times for the same price
    or maybe just get a warning if they are feeling nice.
    I bet Flappy could talk her way out of a ticket
    the officer would rather fall on a picket
    than to listen to her go on all day
    it would cause him some serious dismay.
    haha

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  30. hahaha all I have to say down there
    Is I'm Canadian and give a nice eh and a stare
    Then they may let me go
    Because they like the way the eh tends to flow
    Yeah Flappy could do that with ease
    Her yap could probably bend trees..haha

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  31. Or you could rhyme him to death
    or have Ms. Nostril breath on him with bad breath.
    But I doubt Ms. Nostril would be in your car
    I doubt her tp record would get her very far.

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  32. lol enjoyed the post. Rhyme on bro!

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  33. Twins and posible hookers! Sounds like good subject matter for your rhyming stories!

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  34. haha but then I might lock me up and throw away the key
    Thinking I've lost my sanity..haha

    I will rhyme on
    From dusk to dawn

    Yeah did seem to work out perfect for me
    Guess watching can work at my sea

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  35. Drivers have really been bugging me lately... more than they do usually. Why get on the FREEWAY if you're scared to go the flow of the speedway? :P

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  36. Yeah very true
    Seems they turn blue
    And then want to get off the thing
    As their arms fling
    And they cause some accident scene
    Now turning green

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