You know the economy or at least your wallet or purse or whatever you call it, could get a whole lot better if you exploit the Black Friday nuts. Who swing their butts and guts, trampling over little old ladies while acting as if they have won a Mercedes.
On Black Friday it seems brain cells go out the window and the brain shuts begin to flow. How that is different from most other days I do not know. But even the most slow person seems to hit a new low. Oh! A big dollar off I must have it! As the stupid person grabs it in a fit.
So since everything is magically wonderful on this day and people will buy anything on display. Especially if it says sale on the thing, even though that is mostly a BIG FAKE word they sling. For a few weeks before they jack up the price, then on Black Friday put it back to normal pretending to be nice. And many are a stupid fool, thinking they got a sale that's oh so cool.
Remember to wear a freaky Jason face mask and now I get back on task. For I promised to show you how to make a buck or two off the Black Friday crew. So here you go, just remember to kickback some to my show.
Do you have some boxes lying around? Hide the shopping carts so they cannot be found. Then sell the shoppers a box for ten bucks. Some would do it, the silly ducks. Or tear up the sides and sell them to the store. After all they may want to write SALE some more. Then they can re-use and give it to the guy who who holds up "The World Is Ending" outside loos.
Sell mosquitoes by the jar. This idea could go very far. Since the stores are sucking ones wallet dry, may as well help and let the little buggers fly. Could suck an enemy's blood or tell you if anything else is in that mud. This could really be the next big wave. Mosquitoes by the jar everyone could crave.
Do you have a dog or a fluffy cat? You can sell their hair, how about that? Yes, people actually use dog hair to knit. I guess it is quite the hit. So the more your dog and/or cat sheds the greater your return spreads. You can even make SALE signs spelled out in hair. It will make you seem like you have that much more flair.
I tried to avoid this but it seems to bring people such bliss. Just do a quick search on ebay and any sane persons nose will curl in dismay. You can sell poo! Even that which comes from you. If you make it all nice and artistic that is. Poo seems to be quite the biz. They have mouse poop neck laces and Insta poop in pretty cases. So take the shovel out back and throw the dog poo in a sack. Hell, I could have insta pringle cans full of it. YOU ARE NUTS IF YOU BUY SHIT!
A blind date would work well too. No! Not with me or you. That is just scary and besides the cat is too hairy. All you have to do is get many to sign up for it and then pair them up bit by bit. Hopefully there is an even number too or a threesome could come into view. The cat will not go there but I am sure it will be quite the affair.
Sell them an alien abduction and use your vaccum for suction. Sell them a trip to the zoo and once they pay let them in the store to view. A bucket of sand, saying they will be investing in a diamond worth twenty grand. A trip to the moon and tell them to meet the cow at noon. See just be inventive and your wallet will fill. People will buy anything if they think they can save a whole dollar bill.
The Face it Facts of Black Friday are, one should not stray far. Remain home and do not roam. Or go be fooled by the stores tricks as they take in money like bricks. Well you could still be paying off what you buy until next Black Friday gives a cry. Truly can be a brainless mass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.