Wednesday, November 16, 2011

What The Strat! Today I Will Be A Lazy Cat!

The cat does not want to entertain today. Is that okay? No? Well I guess you will just have to go with the flow. Are you calling me a name? Well two can play that game. So with these Face it Facts we are about to go on a familiar rhyming show. You want to know why calling me a strat does not work? This is why I have no need to go berserk.

I'm the rubber and your the glue,
Anything you say to me bounces off me and sticks to you.
Left Loosy, Righty Tighty,
Isn't it up and down for a nighty?

A dimple on the chin,
The devil within.
Aren't you a scary fellow.
What happens when your dimple is yellow?

Turn that frown upside down,
And put your issue in a tissue.
Of course advice when most needed,
Is least likely to be heeded.

But a friend in need,
Is a friend indeed.
Just don't be in need,
My OCD will keep me away if you bleed.

He who smelt it dealt it.
Is always a hit.
Or he who denied it applied it.
Will turn around a stinky fit.

I before E accept after C,
Which is complete bull for many.
Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker,
But what if you are a lollipop licker?

Beer then liquor, never sicker.
Liquor then beer, never fear.
Both are nasty to the cat,
So you can keep that strat.

Early to bed and early to rise,
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
Pffft I wish.
Maybe it only works on fish.

30 days hath September,
April, June and November.
The rest is crap,
Not taking a rhyming lap.

A ring around the moon,
Means rain is coming soon.
Or you are just a loon,
Maybe even a talking baboon.

Hooray, Hooray, the first of May,
Outside diddling begins today.
Hmm I will nod and agree,
For if it's too cold you may not be able to umm see.

Here I sit, broken hearted.
Had to shit but barely farted.
Oh yes that gas can be dire,
Can even enrage a fire.

If the van's a rockin,
Don't go a knockin.
Yeah could be scary,
Seeing things that are rather hairy.

Easy there Grizzly bear.
Don't get hot to trot because I'm in your lair.
Step on a crack and break your back.
Or give yourself a heart attack.

When in doubt throw it out.
That applies to cooking so don't shout.
See you later alligator,
In a while crocodile!

Does that count when I say it to myself? Or does it just make me sound stranger at my shelf? Yeah, I know that is hard to do. As I am loony tunes already through and through. Aren't you glad I used rhymes you knew? Now for one whole time you can catch on fast as you view. And I can go fish for bass and be a lazy little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

48 comments:

  1. yes, be lazy and make Garfield proud :)
    but don't let us hear you snore too loud!

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  2. The cat doesn't snore that I know
    But he does chirp and fart when he sleeps at his show..haha

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  3. A bird in the hand
    is worth two in the bush
    but then if the bush has a crack
    they could go on the attack!

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  4. Good one. Do you also talk to people in rhymes?
    :)

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  5. Pat really I think you always are a lazy cat!:)...Maybe not..

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  6. dude lighting farts can hurt,
    be careful what you spurt
    cant believe the OCD went there
    but might explain the cats lack of butt hair
    and bushes with cracks,
    thats whack, ha, no more,
    your rhymes dont bore but
    if doubt comes i'll hit the door
    myself to need to throw me out
    or shout, peace cat

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  7. 'Put your issue in a tissue'? Dare I ask or is it me? ....seeing things that are rather hairy hahaha
    :)

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  8. hahaha if those birds hide in my bush
    Their chirps I will surely shush
    As the cat will have none of that
    And squash them flat

    Nope no talking much in rhyme
    At least most of the time

    Yep the cat just sits around all day
    But he does go out and cause dismay
    So I guess lazy can be fun
    And crazy just must be done

    My OCD lets me go anywhere
    Just with much more care
    The cat does have little butt hair
    Maybe he did it on a dare
    Yeah your twin brought the crack bush up
    Guess see was watching the birds as she drank from her coffee cup..haha

    hahaha oh mind in the gutter I see
    But it was surely gotten by me

    Hilarity shall ensue
    Or at least once in a while it comes due

    Can make you smile
    Even when I'm vile?..haha

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  9. lots of good advice buried in here... but what's a "strat"? ;)

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  10. lol, Avoid cracks at all costs. I refuse to step on one and be responsible for breaking my poor mother's back.

    awww, lazy cat today. You're allowed ONE lazy day. But that's it.

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  11. haha you can't decipher what strat means you say?
    Well it rhymes with it and fit at my bay..haha

    You do know you've prob tramped on fifty cracks already today
    You just did not see as you went about your way
    So if that one lazy day a year?
    That would cause fear..haha

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  12. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker!
    I think I heard that in the old version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory! Great line! Loved hearing it again! Infact theres a lot of good advice in what you say!
    You teach us so much! And it all rhymes! Thank you!
    (on and I liked seeing you use the word berserk! Its not used enough in sociaty!)

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  13. Wow! I haven't heard some of these in a very looong time. Thanks for the trip down memory lane with all that handy, dandy rhyme.

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  14. Great stuff as always, this is awesome!

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  15. It's impossible to say fart without having me smile.

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  16. Early to bed, early to rise--I wish that worked too :0)

    Oh and that second stanza is awesome!

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  17. Ha nice use of these time-tested slips, lots we use everyday, laziness is a good thing, lets the soul dream-oh, well that was just a failed attempt at creating my own-lol I never heard a cat fart, dogs neither, but tell that to the nose. Fishing's fun, but do you catch and release or catch and eat:) Guess it depends on what is caught

    Cool little jingle today, too bad my heads in a blur and my typical commenting flair, is well lost in thin air.

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  18. We used to have an old expression in the UK and it was so well known as I grew up. in public toilets you used to have to put an old time penny in the slot to open the toilet, hence the expression 'Spend a penny'
    but then came the rhyme: 'Here I sit broken hearted, paid a penny and only farted." LOL

    Gosh, I don't know where you get all this (dare I say it) crap ..(there, I did) from! LOLOL
    Put your issue in a tissue...OMGoodness!
    Too funny by far!

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  19. Yeah Gene Wilder said it
    With his Willy Wonka fit
    I stole this advice though
    At least for the most part at my show..haha
    Except for Berserk
    I know how much you love that when you come to lurk.

    Glad the trip was fun
    Or just a handy dandy one..haha

    Great stuff
    From my huff and puff

    hahaha I'll remember that now
    So if you ever have a cow
    I'll just say fart
    And all will be right at my mart..haha

    Yeah Early to bed and rise would be sooo nice if it worked out
    But alas it is a fake shout

    haha well it was an okay attempt at one
    With your comment fun
    I heard a dog let one rip before
    But never a cat across the floor
    Yes you can smell such a thing
    As they give the gas a ring
    I don't fish at all
    The cat just used to to rhyme with ass at his hall..haha
    To many flies
    In them there skies

    hahaha I heard that expression before
    Never knew you actually had to pay a penny to go over at your shore
    That would really suck
    If you had to go and no penny for good luck
    hahaha I use crap all the time
    Such fun with your comment chime
    Yeah put that issue in a tissue
    Then nobody with diss you haha

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  20. Even when your rhyming ass is talking sassy & crass, I manage to laugh and laugh (and NOT pass gas)! :-)

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  21. Echoes of idioms, Batman ... uh, Catman! That was fun. I have really enjoyed visiting here because I come away with a smile every time.

    Thank you for your read of the telescope poem. I really appreciate the energy in your response. I tried to create a poem with some constellation waypoints, for those who watch the stars. I don't, at least not with any understanding, but I'd like to learn. Stop by again sometime.

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  22. Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker – classic!

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  23. hahaha that's good about the gas part
    Especailly if you are at some mart
    Or other public place
    If someone hears you might get a red face..haha

    Catman to the rescue I guess
    With my past rhyming mess
    Yeah I don't watch the stars like that
    As no understanding is had by the cat or Pat
    Glad I gave a smile
    As I went on the rhyming mile

    haha yeah that one has been around the block
    But still can get some shock

    Hopefully no one was disturbed as you laughed out loud
    Might draw an unwanted crowd

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  24. "Isn't it up and down for a nighty?" Cute.

    And I thought I was the only one who remembered the First of May quote.

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  25. haha that quote was right up my alley
    So it was locked away in my mind's wide valley

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  26. So apparently strat means "loss" in Polish... interesting.

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  27. Hmmm never knew that
    But means something different coming from Pat..haha

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  28. Rubbers with glue? Is that how they stay on?
    One-of-my-favorite-jokes-which-is-not-mine:
    Young man goes into a drugstore and orders a box of condoms.
    Druggist says, "That'll be $9.95 with tax."
    Flummoxed, "Is that how they stay on?"
    BA DUM BUM

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  29. See a penny, pick it up, and all the day you'll have dirty hands. Sorry. Too lazy to even rhyme.

    Love,
    Lola

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  30. This is a perfect companion piece to Weird Al's song "Dare to Be Stupid".

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  31. hahaha excellent rhyme as usual. i also agree that you shouldn't give cats liquor. dogs however...

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  32. is the kitty loud and proud, or silent yet deadly?

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  33. Lazy like a cat..great analogy :P

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  34. Loony toons alright.. haha.. but in a good way..

    You crazy cat...

    =]

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  35. hahahaha first time I heard that one
    That would just hurt a ton..hahahaha

    Yeah I don't touch money without washing right after
    My ocd allows those germs no laughter..haha
    Damn lazy Lola today too
    Lazy Lola could work for you..hahaha

    Never thought of that song as I went through
    But you're right would work it's true

    Yes cats should not have liquor
    Dogs depends as their stomach is umm thicker

    Silent yet deadly is the kitty
    But he struts around thinking he is ever so witty

    haha yeah just not a fat orange one
    That lazy thing can't be compared to my rhyming sun..haha

    Loony toons right out the window
    Good way or not here at my show..haha
    Just don't call the nut house
    Or I'll send you a dead mouse

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  36. I'm glad I took the time to read this. I found myself writing poetry for my daughter the other day, thanks to reading your blog. lol

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  37. Oh,Pat, you said you did not want to entertain today, but.....I hope you don'y mind that you DID anyway. You're rhyming was hot today, but I'm too tired today to play. LOL.

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  38. LOL! Too funny!

    Thanks as always for your fun contributions to my Limerick-Offs!

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  39. All because of me
    Geez who knew a nut could bring poetry to your tree
    Guess taking the time to read a rhyme
    Is not such a crime..haha

    No I don't mind at all if I did
    I will not flip my lid
    When really I tried to anyway
    With my lazy dispaly
    And your did play
    Here at my bay

    Limerick offs are fun
    So they have to be done

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  40. I dunno, cats are pretty funny when they aren't drunk, nothing bad can come from getting them drunk.

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  41. Great
    Just my fate

    hahaha yeah I suppose that is true
    Unless drunk makes hairballs ensue

    Lazy cat was fun
    Just had to be done

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  42. hahaha this was good, im a cat lover too. i'm curious though, about how long does it take you to make a rhyming post?

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  43. Most take me 15 - 20 minutes max
    Then I just sit back and relax
    Just need a topic first
    And away I go with my burst

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