I was minding my own business once more and I heard a knock at the door. I knew unless by some fluke, it couldn't be that Drazin mook. For I would have heard his name a thousand times already, as he says it quite steady. But still after all the crap. I ignored them and took a nap. The knocking ceased as I rested my head and it wasn't until I awoke that I was filled with dread.
I was standing looking all 2D and things were truly crazy. A turtle with a snapping yap and a hole in the ground laid out like a trap, quickly came into view. This could not be true. I jumped on the turtles head and kicked the shell. I hit a block and out came a mushroom. Really, what the hell?
I grew in size as it hit my hand and as I made my way through this strange land, out popped a leaf like it fell off a tree. I was such a sight to see. It now turns out when I ran really fast I could fly, but sadly I can still fall down the hole and die.
But it seemed if I collected lots of coins just hanging in the air, death wasn't such a scare. I just came back alive, if I took a nosedive. Who left these coins all over anyway? A litterbug that didn't want to pay? After collecting more and not wanting an encore, I thought this thing was through when I reached a black screen, popping a ever changing block and ending the scene. But that was only the start and it was the least toughest part.
It seems some Koopa clan were not a fan. Larry, Morton and Roy, oh joy! Don't they sound so threatening and scary? But Ludwig Von Koopa sounded a bit contrary. It seems I had to jump on their head in order to make them dead. All this head jumping seems to be their version of humping. Except those spiky things, I guess that's the equivalent of catching a disease after one too many flings. You attack those from far away. Sounds about right, wouldn't you say?
But that wasn't even the beginning of my fun, as there was even a crazy attacking sun. It chased me through a big litter box. Thankfully I got a flute and bypassed some locks. I turned into a frog and could hop, I had a shell head and let the hammers drop and I even turned into a raccoon. That was a terrible ordeal for this loon.
Plants came out of tubes snapping, some ghosts started flapping and did I mention I could shoot fireballs? Too bad they couldn't bounce off the walls. I had to swim too. The cat doesn't mind the bathtub or sink in the loo, but going so deep into the sea did not delight me. I could also sit on my butt and slide down a hill, knocking out all the bad guys, what a thrill.
I got asked where some Yoshi pet was and apparently a Luigi was jealous just because he felt overshadowed by me. Some Peach I had to free. Why couldn't it just be an apple? Oh right! Eve already gave that a grapple. I even heard of a Birdo, was it a cross between a bird and a deer? I don't know.
Finally there was the big bossman. He floated about in some tin can. It had a happy face too. That just made him sooo much more scarier then his Koopa crew. After Wendy O. Koopa and that pink bow, that really is hard to do you know. So King Koopa gave a laugh sounding like some crossbred giraffe. Pffft and I thought Drazin was a loon. But I guess he was happy because he replaced some Donkey Kong baboon. Like throwing barrels is hard to top. I guess that's what started this sock hop.
After a while the poor lizard thing fell upside down and I jumped on the kingly one smushing his crown. I was then able to reach that pink Peach, as she was no longer out of reach. But the king swore his revenge on me. I guess this was only part three. Then I received a letter from the Peach because I guess she really wanted to teach. Like being royalty isn't enough. I'm sure she has it so rough. As I read an item showed up and it was in the shape of a trophy cup.
It said I had won and now was done. I guess some plumber named Mario needed a break and they thanked me as the ground began to quake. It opened up and sucked me in and thanks to my great big win, I now was returned home. I think I really need to build a force field dome. The crazies won't leave me be or I need a more threatening bush number three. I do feel bad killing turtles in mass. Yet that is what you get when you try and bite my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.