Thursday, December 1, 2011

Christmas Songs Abound! But A Jingle Jangle Is No Longer Found!

Can you guess the facts today? Isn't it such a decorative display? Maybe a fa la la la needs a say. But then that might give it away. Strat! Did I just ruin it for you? Okay, forget red and green just think blue. Now you don't know once more and off you go at my shore.

Well you Deck The Halls,
It was done months ago by malls.
A Holly Jolly Christmas they provide,
With the big SALE misguide.

But that Jingle Bell Rock,
Will surely cause a shock.
For O'Christmas Tree,
They also have a hefty fee.

Here Comes Santa Claus,
Let's all give an applause.
As just maybe,
You'll shop while waiting for Santa Baby.

O'Holy Night,
One day only it's a tax free site.
And as you know,
It's Christmas so Let It Snow.

A White Christmas though it is not,
It seems to be green a whole lot.
But Feliz Navidad,
Just confusing you a tad.

Do You Hear What I Hear?
My Gosh! Macy's big sale might disappear.
It Came Upon a Midnight Clear,
A little bird tweeted it in my ear.

So track through the Winter Wonderland,
Spend a cool grand.
For each Twelve Days of Christmas,
Although if your allergic avoid citrus.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus,
Half naked showing no flaws.
Ringing some Jingle Bells,
Hoping to cast some spending spells.

Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer is here,
A dog with a clown nose I fear.
But The First Noel wouldn't forget a pet,
So your shopping isn't done yet.

Hark the Herald Angels Sing,
As slowly your wallet no longer goes cling.
Stating you don't want to be The Grinch,
So go that extra inch.

Frosty The Snowman is thumping away,
You need him for your outside display.
Oh No! Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer,
That has to give a tear.

Now she needs more to get well,
Like pretty Silver Bells.
Take her for a Sleigh Ride,
The when she regains her stride.

Rock Around The Christmas Tree,
With your brand new CD.
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas,
Especially now that you are listless.

I'll Be Home For Christmas,
After succumbing to this sickness.
Although for free the stores Saint Nicholas,
Did say Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.

Not the approach I went for at first with by first Christmas burst. But it seemed to play itself out, so I gave it a shout. Of course you have to live under a rock or in some type of shock, not to have heard 99% of these. They are even known by my fleas. So now the Christmas tunes have come to pass and I will jingle jangle away with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

50 comments:

  1. You've inspired me. Sometime this month I'll recycle some of my own< sarcastic Christmas songs!

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  2. First? Me?
    Hah ha, Betsy!
    I wasn't even tryin'
    But ha ha, Brian!

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  3. haha keeping Globland green
    By recycling at your scene
    I will have to try my hand at an actual one
    Without stealing song titles for my fun

    Yes poor poor Brian
    He might end up cryin'
    Betsy won't get irrate
    She was already way way late..haha

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  4. Now all those songs are playing in my head at the same time and I can't make them stop. And I'm having a panic attack because I just realized it's December 1st and I haven't begun shopping yet. Thanks Pat, you've really helped me with this post haha

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  5. Haha yourself, Silver
    Some of us have chores to do in the morning before we can come over here for a showing.
    Now the men are out the door
    and I can come to the rhyme tour
    Yes, the stores are full of these tunes
    but I'm not in the holiday mood
    The spirit hasn't hit me yet
    it will soon I'll going to bet.
    or hope..or something! ha.

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  6. it's Christmas time already? Oh, time to find my Elven shoes and hat and striped socks and start packing presents at my North Pole headquarters...

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  7. hahaha don't you like all the voices playing about
    As each one gives a christmas shout
    You haven't got that done yet
    Bah lots of time don't fret
    Glad I could help
    And didn't make you yelp
    At least too much
    As you got 24 days left before Santa's chimney clutch

    Yeah Silver you big turd
    Haha-ing Betsy is just absurd
    I would never do that
    Just stupid Pat..haha
    Not in the holiday mood
    That is so crude
    Maybe if you get dumped by a few feet of snow
    It will me more holiday-ish at your show
    But then you are a busy bee
    At your sea

    I knew there was something about you
    Tell Santa that winning lottery ticket I'm still waiting to come due

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  8. It's crude?
    Sorry to be so rude!
    Is there a Christmas fairy to cast a spell
    then with the holiday mood my heart will swell?
    If so, she hasn't come yet
    But when? Wanna take bets?
    ha.

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  9. I HATE Feliz Navidad. That song annoys me to no end. It's so catchy that once I hear it, it just plays over and over again in my dam brain....and there it is. Sigh...

    Did you ever hear of the song Christmas Shoes? I ball every time I hear it. It's so sad. It's about a little boy buying shoes for his dyeing mother so she could look good when she passes. Shouldn't this NOT be allowed on the radio?

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  10. haha don't worry I took care of the christmas spirit
    Tomorrow you certaintly will hear it
    The cat will give tons of glee
    And you'll know how to get the spirit thanks to me
    No longer being a scrooge your way
    After tomorrow's display haha

    hahaha it's only the name
    So the cat's not to blame
    It's the brain of yours retrieving the words
    Or those singing birds
    Never heard the christmas shoes that I can recall
    Yeah for christmas time something sad like that shouldn't be played on the radio at all

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  11. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIf3EW9lbWA

    not sure if you ever heard that one, but it's my favorite!! I wait for it EVERY year. Cracks me up! lol

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  12. hahaha can't recall ever hearing that one
    LOL was very well done

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  13. you're getting really good at this rhyming thing. There were some carols in there I didn't know! :D

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  14. It is now and already here
    Christmas trees and Christmas cheer
    Early in time an opening salvo
    Fluffy white and ample snow
    Yet to appear, snow storms or hails
    Preceded by shouts of Christmas sales
    You have brought it out in the open
    Have to keep pace or left abandoned

    Hank

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  15. I had to read this slowly because I kept singing each song as it was mentioned in turn LOL! Now I want a Christmas tree!!! *giggles* Thanks for getting us all ready for Christmas ;)

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  16. nice....some cool songs there, rewritten in your sar-cat-stic flare, parababumbum on a spastic snare, have you ever heard relient ks christmas album, its a fun more rock look at the christmas tunes, i like throwing it in, sometimes even in june, ok maybe not but its got a penguin on the front

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  17. I HATE "The Little Drummer Boy!" Stupid effin' song. Just sayin'.

    I prefer the traditional stuff -- "The First Noel," "O Holy Night," etc. -- to the rock versions of standards, and newer tunes... usually. Having said that, U2's version of "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" kicks (a little rhyming) ass!

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  18. I loved the post you wacky host.

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  19. Some you did not know
    Geez get rid of the rock at your show..haha

    You can keep the ample snow
    But I agree with the rest of your flow
    And all the crap that does show
    As stores continually hit a new low

    hahaha geez that must have taken a bit
    As I had many in my fit
    I admit I had many going through my head too
    As I typed this up for all to view
    The Christmas tree might not last
    Unless a fake one is cast
    So prob better to wait another week or so
    And glad I could get you ready for christmas at your show
    Unlike another scrooge here
    Whose name I won't cheer..hahaha

    Brian and relient Ks Christmas and June
    Might make Rudoloph and Frosty sing a new tune
    Never heard it that I am aware
    Prob did just the name of it wasn't seen at my lair

    hahahaha don't like your parababumbum's
    As he beat his drums
    Figured your favorite would be The Grinch
    The newer versions work in a pinch
    But the older ones are better for the most part
    Seem to have more heart

    Wacky I can be
    Here at my rhyming sea

    It is a month of being festive
    But I still might be a tad suggestive

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  20. Bahhhh Humbug!~!
    Now, I will be singing Christmas carols for the rest of the day! Darn, it's toooooo soooooon!
    LOLOL did I say...Bahhh humbug! ;) (not really Scrooge, just like saying Bahh humbug!!!! haha)

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  21. ha - i don't know all of these..maybe 50 % but found myself humming along as i read...nice

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  22. ..and it's not because i live under a rock or in some type of shock..but because i know mostly german christmas songs...hihi..

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  23. @Pat Hatt Suggestive Christmas rhymes?! Awesome!

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  24. haha it is true
    Bahhh Humbag is fun to say just like Whoopdi Friggin Doo
    I hope I don't make you lose your voice
    I had to write it, I had no choice..haha

    I made you hum
    Doesn't that delight my little rhyming bum

    I guess being German is a good excuse
    So I won't go and make a noose..haha

    hahaha some might take offense
    If I give my suggestive two cents

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  25. Now that's it's actually December I'm willing to tolerate these songs a bit more.

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  26. Yeah I waited until December to post
    I wanted to be a nice host

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  27. cool song about christmas :D ;)

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  28. I want you to sing all of this and release it as "Pat Hatt Sings: The Classics Vol. 1"

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  29. Christmas is upon us
    So I figured I'd make a bit of a fuss

    hahaha I think that be volume 1-5
    But then I'd expect to get promoted at your hive..haha

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  30. LOL! Love this. Now you have to write music to it.

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  31. haha oh that could be a task indeed
    Pat may have to hire someone to do that at his feed

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  32. I do see that Christmas is upon us ... I can hear it on the radio morning and afternoon.

    Nice way to make a fuss...I feel the spirit now :-)

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  33. Glad you feel the spirit within you
    And no bah humbug came from your view..haha

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  34. Honestly this Christmas I dont have the sprit I think and maybe is by all these things in the malls (yes here we are) and when I see I feel out..Love some Christmas songs but.. hey Silver you really hate the little Drummer, poor little drummer, I love Holy night a classic and HATE Feliz Navidad Im agree with you Little miss fun:)

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  35. You know, for a cat? You're pretty conscious about the world around you. More so than the average human. I'm kinda just realizing now, a salute to you!

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  36. Haha- I especially like the one about Mommy kissing Santa Claus for spending privelages.

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  37. Yes, 29th and not 34th
    Thanks for bringing that forth
    Never was good at math
    and didn't go down the accounting path.

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  38. Just avoid the malls
    And the sales at their halls
    Then the christmas spirit may come
    If not tomorrows post from my little rhyming bum
    Should help a ton
    Or at least make you run..haha

    hahaha yeah all those humans are stuck in their own little world each day
    While the cat looks around and has his say
    Good of you to notice that
    You go on the good list of the cat

    hahaha yeah give a kiss
    And you can have spending bliss

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  39. Think you mean 34th and not 29th right?
    Are you a bit backwards tonight?..hahahaha
    Ahh accounting I can do
    Same old same old between me and you

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  40. blah, the older I get the more Christmas pisses me off. I can still admire your crafty word play, although the content has me grinding my teeth. ha

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  41. Want a rhyme book for the holidays? Not that you need it ;)

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  42. Now I have Feliz Navidad in my poor little head. All next week I think I'll sing it until someone wishes I would just go to bed.

    Love,
    Lola

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  43. For me, Christmas never loses it's charm. Especially once Steam sales has came and enlightened me.

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  44. Great stuff as usual Pat Hatt, I'm a huge fan of your stuff buddy.

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  45. haha you will end up like scrooge and have ghosts your way
    They can be a scary display
    I made you grind your teeth
    Want me to send you a pretty wreath?..haha

    haha rhyme overload that could cause
    But I always give rhyme an applause

    hahaha if they don't tell you your wish
    Will you still sing like that wall mounted fish?..hahaha

    Yeah so far doesn't lose it's charm
    Maybe when I'm an old fart I may wish it harm

    Got you in the spirit
    Glad I could as a cheer it

    Nice that your a fan
    And don't wish me to kick the can

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  46. Good job with all the Christmas cheer. Is it just me or doesn't it seem like every christmas song you think you know front to back, but when you try to sing them the words you lack-lol The half naked mommy may cause some psychiatrists very pleased to hear that line, and the dog with a red nose, oh boy, the sleigh wood zig zag around the sky as rudolph guides Santa to the homes of cats around. I thought you would end it with the south park christmas song, A very...Christmas sung by mister garrison, but then probably best it was not included. Nice one

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  47. I think you missed the right post
    But that's okay from your host

    Yeah pretty much all I know
    But sometimes the words just won't show
    As I try to bellow
    And everyone just turns yellow..haha
    Dogs would surely finds the cats
    And maybe tear up some mats
    Never thought of the South Park one
    But then that isn't a classic like the rest of my fun

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