Saturday, December 17, 2011

I Guess It's Not Longer Rude To Play With Your Food!

There you go kids now when you play and your parents flip their lids, you can say their reasoning is no longer valid. Besides who wants that nasty salad. The dog won't even lap that up. So stash it in your cup. Then pretend you are done but take your drink as you go off for fun. Then proceed to flush in down the loo and there is a little Face it Facts trick I used to do.

So back to the task of food as the other day something irked Brian's attitude. At first I thought it had to be a hoax, just some fool out there somewhere telling jokes. But then in the comments below at his show, he gave the link and my faith in you humans continued to sink. But I guess faith is what it's all about as it could really "rolls eyes" bring about the most devout.

That's right! Jesus Toasters will end your suffering this very night. But wait! There is more. If you order three to your shore, you get a Virgin Mary Toaster FREE. Isn't that just so Christmas-y? So now you can eat with Jesus for breakfast each morning although they really should issue a warning. As after you invite him in, you commit such a sin. You have to bite off his ear, after of course some jam or jelly or whatever it is you smear.

So now you're a cannibal invitee but oh his face you got to see. That must cause such glee. I suppose you can truly say you bring Him into your house each and every day. It's a wonder that's not their tag line to try and get you to buy and dine. I wouldn't put it past them one bit to add that to their commerical fit. But then again "Butter up to Jesus" is pretty bad. Aren't you so wanting one for your pad?

Now they also have Obama's face. So you can dine with the President at your place. Then chow down on his mug and act all smug. Never fear though, no matter your association at your show, they have a color for all parties too. So you won't feel politically left out as you chew.

So those three faces you get to eat. They all have an important beat. The later is arguable maybe but we won't go there at my sea. Now what could possibly follow their important act? A dog paw print to be exact. That is right. After those three a dog paw print must feel so right. Maybe with dog paw toast they are trying to prevent you from feeding Fido? Damned if I know.

Who the heck would buy one of these? When instead could be doing something useful like ridding Fido of fleas. But I guess there must be a market for burnt toast. Next it will be The Pope pot roast. Or maybe the Queen's ribs followed by you pulling out some bibs. Then having King Tut crab made in some top secret lab. Some Odin soup and some Zeus poop. The last one would be chocolate though just so you know.

And humans have the nerve to complain when they let such stuff continue to rain. Then again I guess everything is someones scene, like used panties in a vending machine. Yeah, still hung up on that. Just plain ewww to the cat. This was all to make fun of the Brave Little Jesus Toaster nothing more. So don't go getting all bent out of shape at my shore. Not that many would but you never know some could. Hmmm maybe I should take a burnt toast class and then you all could eat toast burnt with the shape of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

39 comments:

  1. I'm buying you rum flavoured Zeus poop for Christmas, Pats! Don't complain when you open the present!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Then again I guess everything is someones scene, like used panties in a vending machine." That line is just pure class man, I loved this whole thing though, excellent work as usual buddy, keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  3. hahaha okay I won't complain
    As long as those penguins didn't add to the poop train

    haha hopefully no one that visits me likes such a thing though
    That just be very disturbing to know..haha

    ReplyDelete
  4. hahaha yep that is actually in their selling video I gave a look
    They really think their toasters are off the hook

    ReplyDelete
  5. well if you stumble on a strange cinnamon one
    it's something the penguins have done :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'll remember that and ship it back
    I'm sure you wouldn't want to miss out on such an enjoyable snack

    ReplyDelete
  7. i hear newt gingrinch has one or two, obama ones the one he did choose, haha hoody hoo glad to inspire you, scary as it may be, we need one of the cat and his tree...or bush, or pringles can man...

    ReplyDelete
  8. see it old you it was the truth but pat went and found the proof, the inventors a goof and wonder where he will go when the world goes poof...

    ReplyDelete
  9. hahaha well newt just does want to have fun after all
    So I'm sure when his servants butter his toast he's having a ball
    hahaha a bush with a crack staring back at you
    That might have to come due
    But then one might not be able to eat
    That burnt tasty treat

    I was a non-believer for a second or two
    But after a quick vieew
    Yep, saw the things too
    When the world goes poof, he'll think his spirit is true
    After all he did spread burnt faces
    Into everyones places

    ReplyDelete
  10. I never before heard about this Pat, I dont know is bizarre or crazy I dont know, really I love normal toasts with normal butter Pat, have a nice day:)

    ReplyDelete
  11. haha well you can still use normal butter on the burnt faces
    And then you're off to the races
    Chowing down on a face or a paw print
    Then you can pop a mint

    ReplyDelete
  12. The Virgin Mary toaster free LOL! THAT is epic :0)

    ReplyDelete
  13. haha guess all are in the Christmas selling mood
    Giving out free toasters to burn faces in your food..haha

    ReplyDelete
  14. "Then again I guess everything is someones scene, like used panties in a vending machine."
    hehehe... You never fail to bring a smile... :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh Pat this is terrible (I think is the cat now)

    ReplyDelete
  16. hahaha glad I don't fail
    As I go on the rhyming trail

    Yeah blame the cat for everything
    When the terrible things start to fling..haha

    ReplyDelete
  17. I eat a salad for lunch every day!!! They are delicious and real healthy. You're obv not making them right. Cranberries, pecans, tomatoes, cheese....and no dressing. Bleh, dressing is sooo bad for you!!

    Jesus toaster? Seriously???? hahahaha I can't, really can't.

    ReplyDelete
  18. the cat is your "alter ego" you know..:)

    ReplyDelete
  19. I like how people buy devices to make shapes and stuff. I put oil on my bread then fry it. Make awesome details, free.

    ReplyDelete
  20. haha..i think yes.. there IS a market for burnt toast...

    ReplyDelete
  21. hahaha all that rabbit food doesn't do it for me
    But I don't eat dressing either so I guess that's healthy hahaha
    You can't comment on the Jesus toaster
    I'm sure pretty soon you might see an advertising poster..haha

    I seem to have quite a few
    So many voices in my head, sad but true

    hahaha yeah that is true too
    That is all one needs to do
    Guess just going for shock and awe
    Or could be lazy or can't draw

    There is a market you say
    Oh that just causes dismay

    ReplyDelete
  22. you know, I'm so bent out of shape right now-lol literally-hahaha Yeah I laughed at ton when Brian first showed us this toaster fun, but the cat, yep, the cat put on his own spin, the Odin Soup might be cute, but the Zeus poop, nope, that I'll refuse. The Buy two get one thing-a-ma-bob thing they do, is almost as bad as the jingled they toss out so many times, "all this for the low, low price of….19.99, but if you act now you get…." Sales are funny, but yeah burnt toast. I bet that burnt dog paw one will be a guilty pleasure for the cat, well, at least he could use it to scare off wayward strays from coming his way. Lol Great fun. Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  23. fun post, I take it. though i can't eat properly if those faces are staring or laughing at me from the mugs or plates or vending machine.

    happy saturday ~

    ReplyDelete
  24. Is it really considered eating "with" Jesus if you're eating his face on toast? haha.

    I saw a hello kitty toaster once, it was too rad. I wonder if there are ninja turtle toasters...

    ReplyDelete
  25. The cat just had to do his own spin
    To not to would have just been a sin
    No Zeus poop?
    Come on I hear it's a slam dunk, you know the thing with the hoop
    Burnt dog paw would be nice if it scared the mutts away
    That just make my day
    Yeah advertising is fickle
    What next? A cat popsickle?..haha

    hahaha yeah faces staring back at you would be hard to eat
    Even if they were a tasty treat
    Just cover them with jam or jelly
    Then stuff them in your belly

    hahaha hmmm not totally sure on that
    But they try to make it sound so at their toaster mat
    I have a ninja turtle lamp and piggy bank somewhere
    Never saw a toaster though, but they could be rare

    ReplyDelete
  26. Jesus, Obama and Newt facials
    What else that is now in style
    It has to be something special
    Used undies for males?
    Shees...that is the ultimate
    Recycling at its very best
    Collect them from your mates
    And just hope for the best!
    Just like the nasty salad
    If it is not palatable
    Look for other 'recycles' or fads
    Which are easily edible!
    And hoodwink your dad
    As long as you feel reasonable!

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
  27. It really is just all too weird
    can't imagine eating it with jelly smeared.
    I can't see paying money for that
    but I wouldn't take one for free, dear Cat.

    ReplyDelete
  28. A Virgin Mary toaster, I've gotta have one. Just kidding. I don't know who comes up with this stuff, but we live in a world where your value is determined on how much you shop. It's so out of hand.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Virgin Mary,
    quite contrary
    on toast we see your face.
    But, never fear,
    Jesus is here.
    Crap! No butter's in the place!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Really, your rhyming gifts are much better than mine.

    ReplyDelete
  31. haha wow Hank quite the little spiel there
    Really went on a tear
    Nasty salad can go in the recycle bin indeed
    So salads beware and take heed
    All those facials are scary as well
    Of course just about anything one will sell

    Yeah even if I was rich
    My face would still twitch
    Just looking at the thing
    And no matter the tune they sing
    I'd never buy one of those
    That's just how it goes..haha

    So true
    The final words given by you
    Out of hand it has become
    And then some
    Only way to stop is to ignore
    But people and their wallet still seem to want to explore

    hahaha you never know
    Such a thing could flow

    hahaha without butter
    One might mutter
    Or maybe stutter
    With their mind going to the gutter
    Then throw the toast away
    Even with the facial display

    haha hey at least you try
    When you aren't running around in a bathrobe making squirrels cry...haha

    ReplyDelete
  32. hehe so many face u invited in :P
    wat a party u had, still trying to visualise it :D

    ReplyDelete
  33. Why would I need a Virgin Mary coaster when her face appeared on my coaster? Underneath the screwdriver and then the mimosa and then the Tom Collins and then I was toasted.

    Love,
    Lola

    ReplyDelete
  34. Just think. Someone, somewhere is buying a Jesus Toaster right this second!

    ReplyDelete
  35. haha not sure the invite was wanted
    But they couldn't help but be taunted

    Hmmm you may have been seeing things on that one
    Those drinks really can have their fun
    Making you think things aren't there
    Even some run through the streets bare..haha

    Yes! That is a true yet sad fact
    Such a disturbing act

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hahaha that's so funny. Virgin Mary toasters... really? I guess I'm not doing such a bad job with my Winnie the Pooh 'Think Less, Bounce More' mugs. There were presents, of course! The other one actually says, 'So soft and cuddly!' Can you imagine? The Pope pot roast? No, thanks.

    ReplyDelete
  37. hahaha nope your Winne The Pooh mugs aren't that bad
    Some might find them rather rad
    What no pope pot roast
    I'm sure you could really boast..haha

    ReplyDelete