The crazies were out in full force yesterday. As Pat went to Wal-mart to play. Yeah, I know he said he was done with stores. But thanks to a certain Miss Priss on all fours. He had to go get peroxide stuff. Although it is fun watching her get into quite the huff. Ever try holding a cat's foot in a bowl of peroxide before? It tends to spill all over the floor. That is a whole other story though. Now on with the show.
So as Pat was going in up came a guy smelling like a garbage bin. Okay, it was more like dope and he pretended to mope. He pointed to a nearby car and said it was his. He jiggled like he needed to whiz and then said he was out of gas. Could I spare some change as I pass?
What he did not know was Pat saw him point to a car in another space below, while he was telling his tale to some other guy trying not to show either red eye. I guess he was just too high and Pat did not even bother to lie. He asked to see the gas gauge and the guy quickly ran off no longer wanting to engage.
Pat thought that was that. When lets call "him" Jiggle Jugs scurried along side him like a rat. A very large rat that is. Playing Santa surely had to be his biz. His tummy sure shook like a bowl full of jelly. But at least he wasn't smelly. Why Jiggle Jugs you say? Let me just tell you his tummy wasn't the only thing shaking on display.
So Jiggle Jugs said the guy tried to fool him too and this is really when Pat knew he had a loose screw.
"Kids shouldn't have Santa Claus. That is what happens to so many when they have such a thing."
Were the exact words he flung. I did hear this last year on the net slung. But this was the first nut that actually said it face to face. Which was becoming blue because he couldn't keep up with Pat's quick pace. How the two worked together not even I know. But Pat just wanted him to go.
"What you don't believe me? Just look at all the things he represents. Look at all the parents never getting recognition, all the commercilization and poor Jesus getting the shaft."
Alright, the first two I could have seen Jiggle Jugs saying. But the last one just the way he said it you could tell he was only playing. Playing as in one of those people who try and pretend they are smart feeling better about themselves by ranting in the parking lot of Wal-mart. I bet he saw it on a poster and thought it was good. Or one of those end of the world road signs made of cardboard, not wood.
Jiggle Jugs would not leave Pat be. I guess parking so far away to get a little extra exercise back fired today at our sea. The two had no correlation at all. Yet he kept up with his Santa Claus call. Following right into the store and was really starting to bore.
"Think about it. They resent the parents because years later they find out they were had."
"Riiiight I see so many kids doing that now. You're just jealous." Pat muttered under his breath, feeling this guy was on meth. Or some other drug, as Jiggle Jugs would not stop staring with his ugly mug.
"Jealous of what?"
Pat should have bit his tongue. But this guy needed his bell rung. Even though he could squash Pat completely flat. You'd need an air compresser to blow him back up after that or I would be an orphan cat. But this guy was surely getting on his nerves. So he did not bother with any polite swerves.
"That he gets liked for his jolly belly and you don't."
Pat walked faster and got away. Jiggle Jugs stood rather stunned and looked to be in a bit of dismay. But seconds later Pat heard him speak talking to some nearby lady about how Santa wasn't unique. That was all Pat got of that and quickly turned the corner avoiding any more of his chat. Isn't Pat just so mean? Not making Jiggle Jugs feel lean. First nut he actually ever had do that and many a nut has been dealt with by Pat. I guess drugs just bring out the Jiggle Jugs.
So what do you say? Do you agree with Jiggle Jugs Face it Facts today? Does poor Santa Claus make kids resent parents in later years? Pfffft riiiiiight! I think he had one too many beers. And Pat did not even get crass. But Jiggle Jugs does sound scary to my little rhyming ass.
Later all, have a nice fall.