Now that it's all over and the presents have been raided by rover, any type of food they go for, seen that time and time again at my shore. Quite funny thinking about it now even though then one might have a cow. Anyway, what is with this song? It just makes the whole two days we get seem so wrong.
It says we get twelve days of Christmas each and every year. But twelve days never comes near. After two it's back to the grind for all and my little rhyming behind. I think those damn turtle doves messed it up for all of us. Or maybe those french hens just like to cuss. So the world agreed not to go past two when Christmas comes due.
Who wants all that crap anyway? Couldn't they make it something fun for ones bay? I mean all that noise sure isn't wanted by girls and boys. The cat would surely take that pipe and make those pipers have a gripe. Of course if they passed gas later on, I suppose they would still make noise at my lawn.
The rest is all birds and a bunch of overacted words. Do they really need to emphasize five rings, each and every time one sings? Why would a true love send any of this? Is there anyone who all of this crap would give bliss?
The drumming drummers need a smack with their stick.
The lords a leaping can be stopped with a good kick.
The pipers I already said what they can do.
But again they can shove the pipe up their gazoo.
Ladies dancing is kind of strange.
What happens if the sending true love is male on your range?
Would a woman really want to see ladies dancing?
Even if they were prancing?
Maids milking, I take it to be cows.
Would surely raise some eyebrows.
Swans swimming would freeze on the lake,
And they would look so fake.
Geese laying eggs would probably give a honk.
Making their head you just want to conk.
Five golden rings?
Hmmm does that mean you can have four other flings?
The promiscuous might like that.
Just think of five true loves sending all of that crap to your mat.
Calling birds would never shut up.
French hens and their language barrier would be a hiccup.
Well Strat! I think I answered my own questions today.
On why only two days of the twelve ever display.
It is because the rest are total crap. The turtles doves are a nice sight to see as away they fly with a wing flap. The partridge makes a yummy dinner I hear and the pear tree will give you fruit throughout most of the year. So two days are all we get each Christmas time because they rest would make people go crazy and commit an inhumane crime.
I think you'd still get thrown in jail for killing drummers and pipers as they wail. Think if we change the stuff these whacko lovers send we can start a twelve day trend? Just make it more dVerse and then twelve days off will be our blessing or our curse. Yeah, wishful thinking I know, which only means back to the grind we all go. Why did this song even have to come to pass? Oh well, at least it let some sass come from my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.