Sunday, July 31, 2011

Time To Play Walls and Dragons, Start Your Wagons!

You know it's quite interesting how being away and near thick walls, makes you not miss the thin wall calls. But you do learn alot of interesting Face it Facts I guess, sometimes it comes out in a jumbled mess. Like what....going....shit...., sometimes is all I hear from the walls having a fit. Now a lot could be drawn from those three words alone. Could have been talking on the phone, on the can thankful they went or they could be vulgarly telling someone to get bent. Plus tons of other things, but if I gave all those wall calls rings. I would be here all night and day. No sleep would just cause too much dismay.

Thankfully the walls around me are single though, so all I get is the typical crap I don't want to know. Like "Oh I need to go shopping" that really gets my eyes popping. Also "I pressed the button damn it. It's this stupid controller's fault I keeping losing, f this f that" yep some real smooth characters near my mat. But there is no moans or groans, at least not the kind indicating pleasurable tones. So that I'm thankful for as already took that thin wall tour.

Maybe some pretty wallpaper will dull the sound and no longer make it be found. Que the spooky music I can hear, maybe they are indicating I should be in fear. Yet I hear a little shout. Maybe I should twist the wall and scope it out. Oh no I'm being struck by the Wall-E, what could this be.

Move to wall street
You'd hear a different beat
When you hear a fart
Consider it wall art

Could get enthwalled
With the names that are called
Wall shelves could block the vibration
Of someones castration

Don't cast the first stone walls
Could begin hearing cat calls
Plenty of wall quotes will arise
Not always that wise

Some can be a kicker
Might make a good wall sticker
Others could make the wall street journal
But some aren't fit for a urinal

Maybe some wallpaper as said
Or actual wall paper by ones bed
Would that be like wall tattoos
Wall designs could amuse

Wall clocks could work
Timing when voices lurk
It would give the wall words
Walls might sound like birds

Think I pulled back the curtain wall
Making a wall decal at my stall
Did you like my wall decor
OK I'm done with my wall covering tour

Before I get all walled in or walled up and need a cup. I can say "That bitch better no win"...hmmm guess that would be a sin. Bad enough I can relate that to reality TV, which should be bricked in for no one to see. Guess that's where the dragon part comes into play, as oh that reality TV sure does get the walls pumped up in a fire breathing way. Well today you were all lucky, isn't that just ducky. As you received a wall pass, from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice wall.

Saturday, July 30, 2011

So dVerse I've Hit The Brink, Drives Me Right To Drink!

So Pat's been on vacation for a week and another he has before the end of his streak. Of course he drug Cassie and I along, which was so wrong, as we got plenty of Face it Facts on cats of all sizes shapes and acts. It was not a fun vacation for us, as all those cats made me kick up a fuss. Plus as you know they aren't very good for the pet revolution, as I think their brains skipped an evolution.

Yes some are just that dense, they can't even rhyme or make sense. I'm a cat that even knows the density of water you see, 1000kg/m3. Oh I used Google you said, bah put that thought out of your head. Either way I'm pretty dVerse. So now you get to see why all those cats I curse and why I drank a lot, as I had to hiss and spit at every single spot.

Oh water how I valued you as all these cats started to accrue. You kept my mouth wet as I uttered each and every threat.

I spit so much at this one he dropped dead, either that or decided to sit on his head. But after that he left me alone and didn't even phone. How water you helped me survive, allowing my hissing to strive.

This chubby one could have sat on me. But the water made her jump away to have a pee. Actually it looks like she's about ready to do number two, but hey scared her away and less I had to do.

This one decided he would rather be mailed away, as poor little old me caused him too much dismay. I guess it's good there is no more strike or he might have had quite the hike.


Maybe if I try to blend in he won't see me. Think cat tree, think cat tree, think cat tree. Oh damn here he comes, I hate water for letting him hiss and flap his gums.


Damn how do those ostriches do that. My head just won't go through the mat. Oh no it's that spotted thing, get me some water and your theme song I will sing. Does that make you want to leave me be? Maybe if I think cat tree?


Just like a mutt to show his you know, but I sure like hot dog on the go. It's just good he wasn't full of water there or he might have try to further yellow my hair.


Cassie took over a round for me. Two on one as you can see. I drank back the water as fast as I could and that was all from Cassie as she became a lump of wood.


Yep Miss Priss told me to take a hike after that, as she said she was too smart a cat. As those ones were just too easy to take for they were all fluffy and fake.


This guy had something in his water I think or he had really too much to drink. As he either really had to go or was kind of drunk not knowing which way to go.


He thought acting cute would get him a reprieve, but I quickly made that notion leave. As I rolled him right out the door and then let the water pour. He was quite heavy to push, boy did I miss my bush.

He tried to head for higher ground as he didn't want to drowned, in all the commotion I was making. But I did my job as his knees were quaking.


I chased this one right out the window. She couldn't hand a single blow. I shut the window tight as it poured all night. She sure got her fill. I don't think the water gave her a thrill.


This one was the toughest of the bunch, as he wanted to make me lunch. But I sure showed him, as he remained up by the ceiling trim. Never coming down thanks to me, just peering wishing I'd leave his sea.


So take it from me. The next time you get dragged on vacation like a busy bee, make sure to pack a water bottle or ten. It could save your life so jot that down with a pencil or pen. I sure sucked back the water at my watering hole and if dVerse was the goal. I guess I had plenty of that, thanks to that dumb human Pat. So now I'm home and done scaring them with my spotted mass and can just rest my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Oh I Get To Be Royal Today, Isn't That Fun To Say!

Saw this and had to give it a go, over at the dVerse show. As Natasha and that Brian guy said is was kind of scary. Personally more scared of dairy. So for today I sorta followed some rules, for all you nice folks and umm fools. But I'm the biggest loon of them all, so here is my rhyme royal stanza call. Again just wrote a line and this is what came out, as I stand here short and stout.

A modern day folk tale to pass the time
Diluted with every spoken verse
No longer does five equal prime
Additions added to sound perverse
Lowering each crowds want to disburse
Bastardized to the brink
Watered down over food and drink

Fact from fiction terribly skewed
The grand designs unspoken fate
Holes lending fire to every feud
The facts no longer collate
Sparking apprehension through debate
Both sides stand justified in their claim
Yet seeking only increased fame

Clouds varying shape deflect views
Words once spurring delight bring distress 
Constantly spurred from tongue to abuse
In a subtle game of chess
Stalling any such progress
As reality confirms the cold hard facts
No winner can be born from tic tac toe acts

But even when hope looks grave
Denial shapes as the only trade
Faulty promises run deep to enslave
Greed filled eyes spur on the crusade
Incoming disaster only delayed
Future sickened by the very thought
That present's gift was all for naught

So that was my Face it Facts of the day. Did it make any more sense than any other day? Beats the heck out of me, time I scratch a flea. Damn I missed it on that pass, guess I'll get it the next time it bites my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

I Need My Rubber Room, So Much Doom!

So once again old WaystationOne sparked an idea and away I had to steer, from what ever other crap I was going to say. Guess I'll save that for another day. As Brian gave the best way to go, when you leave this earthly show. At least I would agree, as I'm sure would many. But you can go there for that, as it's fun time for the cat.

So the cat consulted the oh so powerful all seeing eye for the Face it Facts and found there were 8 million ways to die through various acts. Oh look a movie reference too. Haven't I already impressed you. Now I want to cower in my rubber room. Wait a second I could eat the rubber and that would spell doom.

So here is what the all seeing eye said when it appeared on some weird fortune teller's forehead.

You could step on a tack
Have a vein popping attack
Get a paper cut
Be bit by a mutt

Fall off a ladder
Be poisoned by a Death Adder.
Get mauled by a bear
Take a stupid dare

Drive off the road
Car could explode
Drown in a lake
Falling through a crack in an earthquake

Fly off to Oz in a Tornado's whirl
Choke on a pearl
Or some chicken bone
Just from the sight of your huge loan

The classic fall off a cliff
Be beat up by Biff
Poison yourself with more than a numb tongue
Travel to the old west and get hung

Could get stung
Maybe pop a lung
Waking up dreading work
Or just being there not able to lurk

As you push on a seat with a hole
Try climbing a flag pole
Some Drazin nut
Get too big of a gut

Some germy flu
Slip and bang your head in the loo
Cut with glass
Shot in the ass

By the very air
Cellphones too I swear
A lightening strike
Run over by a bike

A dam could break
Could swallow a file in a cake
Do any of these you like
Oops I'm a big fake psych

Stupid fortune teller leading me along, with her big fake song. Only getting forty of the eight million there are, for me to share at my bar. Brian's still wins of course she also mentioned a mishap of his twin's. Hey at least you'd already be numb and then some..haha

But one thing is for sure, if you didn't take the death tour. You sure would when you saw the bill, boy those funeral people must get a thrill. Burn me and stick me in a pringle can or two with such glee. Then use me for kitty litter for all I care, I promise I won't even swear. Then it be cheap, you'd even recycle and save a whole heap. Oh I can even poke fun at my eventual fate. I know I'm just that good don't hate. But I could still find the fountain of youth and take a pass, forever wiggling my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Bah No Rhyme, He Committed A Crime!

"You want some Face it Facts cat, I'll be there to squash you flat. But I suppose I can prolong your agony and give you a few more days before the Great God Duke Drazin comes and attacks."

Was of course the first thing I saw in my email today. That stupid Drazin once again coming my way. I least I didn't have to look at his ugly mug, as today he was just an email thug.

"I know you're going to make fun of me cat. But I'll squash you flat."

I think that's the only rhyme the Godly one knows, but when you have so much power I guess that's how it goes. Oops was that his nose? It looks like it grows. Do you think that means he's a liar? Or just on fire? Maybe it's some strange power. I suppose he could make a good flag pole for a tower.

"Here cat this is what I did, show it on your crappy blog and I'll let you live for a bit longer. As it's nice and sunny and I don't need my cat slippers just yet. This is an excerpt from my fine work, so play it and the rest I'll keep over at my other place."

You know I hate to admit it, but that Drazin guy came up with something over at his pit. Although it's not in rhyme, so isn't a usual chime. But since I can blame it on him, the Godly one that is quite dim. I guess I can put it out there for you to skim. If you really want to hang out on the non rhyming limb.

The essence of life
Oozing steadily an unhindered being
Seeping the very pores of existence
Taming indiscriminately mankind’s legacy
Decaying turmoil glistening in prevailing light
Solitary power singular essence
The power to crush
The power to create
The power to weave the three fates fate
Deciding whether to cut your thin fabric
Drowning memories long forgotten
Melted rising, frosted freezing, baron waste
Twisted forms guiding extinctions progress
Passive with nature
Aggressive with time
Hacked by wealthy
Begged by poor
Abundance diminished
Cracked lip suffers
Quenching one last drop
Ravaging wrapped war
Stricken with terror
Imperfectly forsaking in ones exemption
The Last Man Standing


So think that Godly fool, who acts so cruel, is actually half decent or what? I think he copied or pulled this one from his butt. But who am I to judge, so I gave him a nudge. The next time it will be out the window once more, if he comes near my shore. At least he wasn't too crass, with his one whole rhyme about my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Two In One, Being dVerse is Fun!

So I had this idea to combine two fun things I did before. Of course some might roll their eyes at this tour. But when has that every stopped me? Yeah never exactly. Oh and just so you know each and everyone I'm about to do at my show, came from my head. See it's filled with a bit more than lead.

So lets see if before this is through, it can be guessed by you. But don't worry if it causes you dismay. At the end I'll be sure and share the Face it Facts of the day. So you won't leave confused, just a tad abused. Mr. Linky might even have to blink twice, for this little dVerse slice.

It's time I go on a Yakety Yak
Soaring from Rags to Riches at my shack
We could go Side by Side
Unless Hudson Hawk lied

Oh stop it Johny B. Good
Go Back to The Future you should
Join a Travelin Band along the way
Maybe stop off at a Roadhouse to play

You might get the Hippy Hippy Shake
And see Angels in the Outfield as your knees quake
Impressing poor Barbaranne
Stealing her away from the Surf Ninjas clan

At least you'd no longer be a Man of Constant Sorrow
O'Brother Where Art Thou you my ask tomorrow
But you'll find him if your all Hot to Trot
Even with a Tutti Frutti singing robot

I bet your thinking Rescue Me
Could always use Air America to flee
But there seems to be a Bad Moon Rising
That My Fellow Americans their disguising

Heading into a Danger Zone
As some Top Gun wails with the odd moan
Such a Sinnerman too
With Cellular hacking out of the blue

Can't we all get some Summer Lovin instead
Just don't slip on Grease and whack your head
Oh just Follow Me you say
3000 Miles to Graceland to play

Damn we may as well go to an Island in the Sun
As Out Cold I'd be after that long run
At least Footloose I'd be
Not sure Footloose would work for me

Bit by Bit it might annoy
Then like Fletch I'd have no joy
Until I heard Play That Funky Music White Boy
And watched the Evolution of a toy

But just know I Can't Take My Eyes Off of You
As a Conspiracy Theory I know your into
Cotton Eyed Joe told me so
But The Negotiator can help don't you know

As you can see I Get Around
And Good Morning Vietnam from my ground
Oh I'm lost Show Me The Way To Go Home
Or my Jaws will keep flapping as I roam

Is that a Dowadiddy I hear
They may be trying to earn Stripes through cheer
Not sure If The Lion Sleeps Tonight
As he might be in Hot Pursuit ready to fight

I think I'm only 25 Miles from Bush #3
No Adventures in Babysitting for me
Think I could be a Scatman
Hey I got Nothing to Lose if I kick that can

But my Respect you say
Bah I'll blame it one Forrest Gump to his dismay
Oh a Bad Reputation that may give
Guess I'll go with Shrek as he'll live and let live

As the Apeman is such a fink
I think his name is Link
But I told him to Take This Job and Shove it
Take This Job and Shove it made him have a fit

So there was no more Lets Work Together
Not even with Mighty Ducks in nice weather
Cuban Pete had to do my task
He even wore The Mask

Yes now I Feel Good
Even if White Men Can't Jump in the hood
Rockin Robin I will be
Oh You've Got Mail come see

Another Holiday for the cat
Accepted at my mat
Off to the California Sun
Back to the Beach I run

Did you know I Believe I Can Fly
Like some Space Jam guy
Or maybe like the Spirit in the Sky
I'll give it a Remember the Titan's try

Paranoia may come about
As Disturbing Behaviour make some pout
But I'd rather Twist and Shout
Going the Ferris Bueller's Day Off rout

Wow Dude Looks Like a Lady for sure
Like Mrs. Doubtfire on tour
Highway to Hell is where he's off to now
I guess he wanted a Final Destination that would wow

Or to go out in a Blaze of Glory
Like the Young Guns but less gory
He could be Savin the Day
Bringing the Ghostbusters to play

Every one would then do the Neutron Dance
Even a Beverly Hills Cop would prance
Look Now That I Can Dance
You can take a Teen Wolf stance

You'd rather Walk Like a Man though
Heart and Souls might move to and fro
But The Rhythm is Gonna Get You
No matter the Stakeout you do

You have Nowhere to Run
As The Warriors want you to have fun
Nothings Gonna Stop Us Now
You no longer look like a Mannequin or a cow

But if you sing I Feel Pretty
I'd slap you in Anger Management with some old bitty
Just avoid The Stroke
Of that Billy Madison bloke

You might have to show the Eye of the Tiger
Like Rocky not the counter guy named Geiger
Or you'll end up Busted
And your Money For Nothing will be adjusted

Once and For All
You could use Newsies to make the call
Taking Care of Business for you
And Taking Care of Business past due

Continue to think You're the Best Around
As The Karate Kid will knock you to the ground
Don't Lean on Me
You Lean on Me and I'll slap you for free

We Will Rock You
A Knight's Tale you'll think was true
At least When You Know
Serendipity will go

You may try but You Can't Hurry Love
Not even on a Boat Trip with a dove
Could shout Gimme Some Lovin though
Mr. Destiny may never know

Or you could be saying I Need a Hero
As through a Short Circuit you're now a zero
But You're Still the One
With Primary Colours by the ton

Aren't I such a Wild Thing
Going up to the Major League with what I bring
We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore
I'll get an Iron Eagle to force you to stay at my shore

Hit The Road Jack
Or The Dream Team will attack
Oh Get Off My Back
Stallion Spirit of the Cimarron protects my track

Look I made that Jingle Bell Rock
Guess a Lethal Weapon was hidden in my sock
But I'll Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let It Snow
This was epically Die Hard, yes I know 

Now did you get all of that? See what was done by the cat? No you did not? Just in case it wasn't caught. The cat took a movie and a song that played in it. Then with a little polish and spit. I slapped them together in rhyme, one after the other what a fun time. Oh and if you see a double one, that's because the song and movie had the same title, so it wasn't a mistake or pun.

Yep all of that really was in my head, which this post it fed. So have fun with the movie pass, you can even sing along with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Oh How Low Some Have Sunk! Who Would Seriously Get Involved In This Funk?

Before I get to what I just saw today, as I was out and about at play. Just wanted to point out I got rid of that ugly blogger favicon, now it's me up top when you visit my lawn. Yeah it's small and such, but looks better than Blogger's crap by a touch. Didn't know you could do that until I was messing around and it was found. Now I no longer have to advertise up their for blogger what a shame. Bah they still get some fame. So don't feel sorry for them yet, they'll probably change it back I bet.

So this brings me to the dumbest thing I've seen since I don't know when and I've seen dumb things upwards of ten. Planking! No your chain I won't be yanking. This is for real and is supposedly quite the big deal. I just heard of the stupid thing and had to give it a ring.

So in order to play sometime during your day, you go out and find a stupid spot and lay down on it pretending to rot. Let's say you're out in the grass, you lay down your whole mass, acting like a wooden plank, thus planking is the name, and that's it to this game.

Oh wait you take a picture and post it online, so more planking people can find you and whine. As they say theirs was better by far, as they planked on a car. Wait some plank on a roof too, no I'm not kidding you. Soon some kid will see it and figure he/she could do that little planking bit. Climb up on a roof and fall, because he/she wanted to answer the planking call.

This is just so dumb and then some. Oh I so want to act like a piece of wood, come one and all do it you should. Grown ass people have even done it and for doing it, taken a hit. Gamestop employees did it and got fired, okay I can kind of see them finding this fun, as their brain cells could be scrambled from constantly being hard wired. But doctors and nurses also did it while at work. I guess it's no so bad I lurk. Really they had nothing better to do, but to act like a piece of wood, snap a picture and slap it online to prove to all they could be wood too.

So there are some planking Face it Facts for the day, hope for any sane person they cause dismay. As it sounds as fun as a pet rock or talking to yourself with a puppet made from your sock. Hope I wasn't to crass, as I ranted about with my little rhyming ass...haha

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Today A Mutt Went To The Loo, In A Shoe!

Damn it, go away I'm trying to type. What is your gripe? Shoe fly don't bother me, you're as pesky as a flea. But I guess if the shoe fits, meaning I'll squash you to bits. Not that it would be a hard feet. I'll squash you when you land on my seat.

Stop buzzing overhead, land so I can cause your sole dread. What do you think it would be called if you're squashed with one shoe? Think a sole killer would do? I'm sorry this shoe looks rather old, Pat doesn't have many because he doesn't fold. At the newest pair like many of the opposite gender, going on a shoe bender.

But with crappy shoes he has a good DVD collection to boot. To bad you're buzzing I'm not able to mute. Maybe you'll get lucky with a Shoeshank Redemption, then I might give you an exemption. Or maybe you'll shoe em up, trying to tie them like a young pup. Heck maybe you'll pull a Heart and Soles, letting someone else take the controls.

But sense I'm only using one shoe, would saying the other was a lonely sole be true? Would it leave a Hole in your sole as well? Then it might Shoe me all night long on the Highway to Hell. It could then be a whole new shoe, that might do.

Maybe you should just shoe along, before I give you the boot for staying so long. So as I go on scheming to steal your sole, I guess you could blame dVerse for this shoe patrol. Oh you landed doesn't my shoe shine, wait it smells like someone went to the loo in mine. Oops it looks like Pat stepped in something well outside, I guess he wasn't wanting each stride.

So that would mean at least his feet are clean. So the shoe is on the other foot now, drawing in this fly literally like a fly on shoe wow. Yeah it's all thanks to what rhymes with it, as Pat tramped in it a bit. This has been the Face it Facts of the day, so shoe along okay? Or I'll give you some more shoe sass and a wiggle to boot from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Bush #3 Is Under Attack, At Least The Names Don't Lack!

So I was lounging about at bush #3, scratching at a pesky flea. When all of a sudden I noticed some tracks, so decided to investigate, searching for the lets Face it Facts. As I followed them toward the trees, I covered up in the grass, bending my knees.

As off in the distance I could see names floating in the air, as I peered I also saw someone was there. They were running about, commands they would shout. I tried to keep quiet as I watched on, but some of the names strolling across my lawn, really made me giggle, as I ducked down trying not to make my behind wiggle.

The first one I saw was dingleberry22. Don't think I'd want to be referred to as that between me and you. He was trying to chase down bendherover27, maybe he wanted an extra dingleberry because he thinks they smell like heaven?

I was scared as I saw spermygerms, as he just opened a whole can of worms. My ocd wanted no part of that, plus he was running alongside snottybum, I knew I'd have to de-germ my mat. A DEADPLANT came into view, he seemed to be going after The Henchmen crew. Although is it fair to be called The Henchmen when it's just one guy? I guess maybe he was trying to multiply.

I got excited when I saw the MightyJamaican coming to play, but he suffered an EVIL POiSON to his dismay. He should have followed runMFrun maybe then he would have got things done.

LEWTENINT DAN came rushing around from out of the blue, chasing after Twiztid Voodoo. Guess he wasn't afraid of a curse, as he made Twiztid Voodoo need a hearse. But dangerD68, went and shot Forrest Gump's mate. Right in the back, what an evil way to attack.

Grave Digger UK was all around, he was lying on the ground. Guess he was just looking for the best place to dig or maybe he wanted people to think he was a pig. But than some efinplayer stepped on his toe and they put on quite the show. For the two squared off seconds later, I couldn't make out their words, needing a translator.

Oh no I thought, as a xXkillaXclownXx I also caught. I hate those horrible clowns, but this one was a killer really making frowns. He had meatball1568 for lunch, as he stepped on him making him go crunch. But then he got surrounded by like20rednecks, maybe he was so dumb he thought 19 more joined him when he tried to flex?

I had to laugh as omgwtfIFarted came flying out of nowhere, chasing after ahairyfanny, they made quite the pair. I guess who8mycracker to offense and shot them both, as they seemed pretty dense. PrepareForHurt made him, umm well, hurt. But he finished him quick so little blood did spurt.

IM DAMAN 82 thought he was tough, coming in all big and brave like he'd had enough. But got rocked by irockspeedos pretty quick, yeah the sight of him must have been quite sick.YESZZIR flew on by, chasing the irockspeedos guy. I guess he was just following orders by his name or yelling really loud to try and seek fame.

Another came from Tennessee, just to see me. As I saw a TENNESSEEXGOON, he seemed like a bit of a loon. Guns o Blazin came out with his guns ummm blazing, shooting the goon as he took to grazing. xLOSTnCONFUSEDx seemed rather lost, yet wanted to survive at all cost. So she teamed up the The Dean83 and Guns o Blazin I could no longer see.

FineItsNick was trying to catch thefastestsperm, but I guess he had come to full term. As he was too fast to catch, not even by BlowyBarrel2 or MikeHunt32 as they tried to play fetch. But then a countdown clock appeared over head, signaling for those alive dread. As they ran about, once again orders they did shout. As they attempting to get one last thrill, searching for a kill.

Finally BLUE TEAM WINS showed up in the sky and I was shaken by that Pat guy. As I was muttering in my sleep, resting comfortably at my bush #3 keep. I guess I watched Pat play that game one too many times, so my dreams brought forth those weird name chimes. But fake or not as I was lying in the grass, one could easily tell more people have quite the fetish with behinds than my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, July 22, 2011

Maybe That Wasn't Santa After All, But A Big Smog Wall!

So last night Betsy was seeing Santa Claus in the sky, I swear it's not a lie. Or for those without their contacts in fry. Of course with this heat your eyes may also be dry. Just so you know he never responded to the flag I stuck up, guess he didn't want to fill my tin cup. Mean old fart, I hope he gets beat out by Wal-mart..haha

But I walked by the television as Pat let me out of the room and saw a big cloud that continued to loom. Yes I'm stuck here with all those horrible cats for a few days, as Pat procrastinates for two weeks in many different ways. On vacation from work, so may be a tad slow from time to time coming to lurk.

As I was saying, I thought it was a cloud as the TV was playing, but they were yapping about the 20 most toxic states. Have to admit I was wrong on my guess here at my gates. As obviously I'd pick New York from all the smog and crap, but that didn't even make the top 20 lap.

I think you can guess what number one was, if you got my whole Santa buzz. As poor old Ohio won the race, having the highest toxic trace. There is only like five on the list I would have guessed, maybe being Canadian makes my picks kind of messed.

Of course the bigger the state, the more crap it can create. So that probably has to be taken into affect too, plus it's probably more a news scare tactic, to get you to watch and turn blue. Just found it interesting because it fit with the cloud theme yesterday and my guesses were wrong at my way. So in this case my Face it Facts were way off, does this list make you scoff?

No matter what we do we'll never escape some toxic crap, as it's in something everywhere, on every corner of the map. But I suppose some could be worse, at least now I know why Santa didn't come open his purse. Damn Ohio toxic gas, disappointing my little rhyming ass..haha

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Beam Me Up Scottie, Hey It Beats a Port a Pottie!

So I went to one of my usual haunts, to throw out a few unsuspecting taunts. Actually scratch that they were expected, as Drazin makes everyone feel neglected. But enough about that clown for now, as he's over at that other place, probably taking a bow. Yet I received a message from a friend, that might drive some around the bend.

Now there are little Face it Facts to behold, as this, again for some, could be quite bold. Not wanting to ruin their little world with the maybe, refusing to see. I'm not saying any of this is legit, but one has to admit interest can be peaked by some of it.

Of course the added oh so scary song in the back, makes it an over dramatic play on an attack. Some I haven't seen before, others I've seen along with some more. That last little bit made me laugh though, probably fake but you never know. I tend to leave most things with the benefit of a doubt, even if someone said they saw a flying goat.

As they made glow in the dark cats, I guess to keep away the night rats. Completely pointless and dumb, but with some glue and a little gum, a goat may fly, more likely crash and die. But that's a different story for another day, back on topic as I don't want to stray.

Oh and the cat feels so safe at bush #3, as it seems Canada is completely free. No sightings of these pests, or should we call them guests. That you should keep in mind, if laser beams start targeting your little behind. Then you'll be thanking the cat, just don't try to hold up at my mat. My port a pottie will be out of commission and you wouldn't be able to afford the cost of admission.

So I think by now it's clear what I'm yapping about. So today this is what I received in a shout out. Click Here if you dare, warning may raise your neck hair. Now what did you think of that? Do you think we all need to put on a tin hat? Doubtful as most of it was probably fluff, with a slow news day so they gave it a puff. But one or two seemed rather strange. So who knows what lurks above our range.

Lots of theories I could produce, but if I let my tongue flap too loose. Men in black may drag me away and then you'll all get rhyme time withdraw, causing dismay. So on the theories I'll take a pass, as it could be a huge mass, large ball of gas, a crock to fool the lower class, a strange type of bass, an inter dimensional lass, whoops I wasn't supposed to sass, so I'll beam away with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

A dVerse Cast, Warning They May Get On Your Nerves Real Fast!

"Through space and time, I send this chime. Bring forth a crew, who's hearts are true. Let them host a pub for all, from coast to coast, answering the poetry call.....Damn flies, I never said I wanted you guys. If a did I would have said send a crew who's hard on the head.....oh no look what you did, I forgot to close the lid."

Suddenly my bed was rough and rather cold, I awoke thinking it was mold. But as the cat looked around, I didn't know where I was found. I looked from side to side, wondering if I crossed life's divide. But if I did this was hell, as an assortment of characters followed me down the well.

I slapped myself thinking it was a dream, desperately wanting to hear my new theme. Yet as I closed my eyes I didn't awake, meaning this wasn't fake. I cracked Pat upside the face, hoping he'd know this place. But he seemed just as confused as I, OK he was more confused, I won't lie. Cassie leaped up rather fast, as she saw some of the other cast.

That Voiceover Guy loon was here as well, as was Gung and Ho who gave a yell. Those three were no wiser than I and of course I saw a glowing red eye. He awoke on the ground looking at me side to, wanting to make a pair of slippers out of you know who. He shouted blame, asking why I was playing this game. Why I brought him here on the street, with no shoes on his feet, throwing him on the ground like a worn out raisin, thus it was a typical rant by the self declared God, Duke Drazin.

Yet all of us kept our cool, after some loud mouth remarks from that tool. As the only building in sight, was "Merlin's" basically telling us to come in, with a big red "open" light. So in barged that Drazin mook all hot under the collar, ready to give the bar keep a hollar.

Gung and Ho still looked out of it, but followed Drazin and his hissy fit. Voiceover guy had nothing to say, so he joined the fray. Cassie and Pat looked at the cat, indicating we should steer clear, but there was just nothing else I fear. This pub was all that could be seen, everything else looked like a blank screen. As it was pitch black in every direction, like someone yanked us out of our existence for some collection.

So in we followed watching chairs fly, as Drazin was searching for this Merlin guy. As a chair came whizzing by, I noticed a piece of paper fall from the sky. It read, "one way out, give a shout", I shrugged dropping the thing, until a spotlight came on, over the place one was supposed to sing.

We all stared at the microphone, Drazin laughing in his usual tone. Stating how this guy was trying to get free acts and that was simply the lets Face it Facts. But Drazin decided to play along, getting ready to sing a song. As he hoped this Merlin guy would show his face, allowing Drazin to bury him under this place. I figured it was a good time to plug my ears, but after a few Gung and Ho cheers, Drazin began. I can say I'm still not a fan.

It's tough to be so great
As no one can relate
To the powers of a God
My voice can shake a quad
That's just one impressive trait

The rest is too dVerse
And can do far worse
So avoid Drazin like the plague
And if that was too vague
This once Drazin will hit reverse

Stating you will fry
And most likely die
Becoming slippers on Drazin's feet
As Drazin walks Drazin's Godly beat
So come don't be shy

Get on up here cat
Don't hide behind Pat
As Drazin has filled Drazin's dime
With some type of rhyme
And now it's time to squash you flat

As he stated his final line, a bright light started to shine, and poof Drazin was gone, it was like we were in the world of Tron. But would singing secure our release or simply make our existence cease? We took a vote and even with huge doubt, decided this was the only way home, as clicking our heels three times didn't work, so why not sing into the chrome.

We found some straws and each took one, as Voiceover Guy got to start off the fun.

Follow me to a place where the bells toll in your face
Where the residents are dVerse, yet won't steal your purse

Where poetry runs the show and lines are aglow
Off the page, all the rage
Come and engage, no matter your age
Whether rain or snow, just get up and go

A chair will be saved, the street will be paved
The doors are unlocked, the bar will be stocked
The tunes will blare, the words will have flare
You can even pop a vein, as someone caters to the insane

It's a cheapo's delight, day or night
As there is no fare, come if you dare
Fill your canteen, get glued to the screen
With words taking flight on the first OpenLinkNight

 
He gave us a smile and disappeared off the tile. Again there was no trace, just like Drazin and his ugly face. So up went Pat, having no idea what to say unlike the cat. Although as if there was ever any doubt, it wasn't hard to tell he'd use movies for his shout.

Did we all Die Hard in the night
Maybe Critters caused this plight
Either way I think Heaven Can Wait
No matter if this is a Serendipity trait

As I'll be a Lethal Weapon if need be
Sending this place Out to Sea
I'll employ the Lion King
Hey at least it isn't Grease I have to sing

Maybe we've been Bad Boys
Or Gremlins got in our toys
Transporting us Back to the Future once more
Taking the We're Back tour

Because Chances Are we are still alive
For we have such a Braveheart we will thrive
Meaning we won't have a Breakdown
So Catch me if you Can you Merlin clown

This isn't Dawn of the Dead
With an Eagle Eye one can see it's all in our head
You can make use think it's the End of Days
But Equlibrium is where my mind stays

So I wave away this Fortress of yours
Going back to the Frequency of my shores
For The Magnifiecent Seven we may be
But let me out now or The Full Monty you will see

 
As Gung and Ho laughed at the threat of Pat, he disappeared from Merlin's mat. I guess this Merlin guy didn't want to see all of him, every single ummm limb. Those two goons were the next to jump on stage, acting as if they were all the rage.

Hey Gung lets go
It's time we put on a show

Hey Ho calm down
They can hear you across town

Gung I never knew there was a town here
Just this pub with that Merlin puppeteer

I wasn't being serious Ho
That you should know

Wow we are really dVerse Gung
Maybe we should go on the road while we're young

Yeah and make lots of dough
Wouldn't that be fun Ho

Look here's a glow
I guess time is up for Gung and Ho

Weren't we grand
Give us a hand

For Gung is Hung
And Ho is...slow...can row..hates snow...away we go

My ears were never more thankful, to be rid of their bull. I didn't even know what to call that, as their song was more of a chat. I think Merlin just wanted them gone, so poofed them away with a yawn.

Now all that remained was Cassie and I. But we figured somewhere in the shadows, lurked this Merlin guy. So together we decided to finish this so called fun because if he was around, it would be better to face him two on one. So up we went to the stage, when out came this man dressed as a mage.

He simply picked up a chair and took a seat, acting as if he was in for a treat. Cassie and I both tried to make the leap, figuring we'd end this creep. But we were stuck to the floor and couldn't move no matter how much we swore. Out of nowhere a tune started to play and we began to sing like some blue jay.

We have ourselves an ocean
With words too dVerse to ignore
So lets create a commotion
Providing a place to mingle and explore

Allowing us to discover
More and more as time goes along
Through the eyes of another
Creating a kinship through poetry's song

Building on each others feedback
Over a quick pub snack
As dVerse reaches for the sky
All will be seen eye to eye

If the road should split
Too bright to see, too dark to choose
The skills learned will never quit
Helping out through life's cruise

So attempt to take a break
Think before you pass on by
As missing out would be a mistake
And that's no lie

Building on each others feedback
Over a quick pub snack
As dVerse reaches for the sky
All will be seen eye to eye
Eye to Eye


He clapped for a second than waved goodbye, throwing his hands into the sky. A bright light came over us just as those before and when we opened our eyes we were back, snug as a bug, at our shore.

"Thank heavens I fixed that mistake, as although the cat will partake. This wasn't supposed to occur, as Pub's don't usually allow so much fur. So as I was saying before the flies, made me bring forth these guys. Bring forth two figures to take charge, named Brian and Claudia to make poetry large. With a dVerse poets pub, creating a magical hub. Now that should fix that, but I also see great things for this cat."

So it's anyone's best guess, what came out of that mess. But it sure was dVerse and I suppose it could have been much worse. Admitedly we also had some fun and so ends this new tale I've spun. So if you ever go through the looking glass, remember the experience you gained from reading the words of this little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, July 18, 2011

Letting Google Talk For Me, Sorta, A Little, OK Not Really!

So as of late word verification has been getting some love or hate, depending on the mate. I can say since I turned it off, no spam crap has made me scoff. So there may not be much point to it after all. Of course saying that now will probably bring a bunch of crap to my hall. But that's neither here or there, as I'm sure most don't care, wanting me to stop my yapping and let Google to the scrapping.

Yeah we'll pretend it's them a bit, as can't fully or they'd have a fit. They might get mad at the cat and banish me to some bare corner of the map, just for flapping my trap. The cat doesn't like the cold and plus at the moment Google doesn't need to be told. So what am I going on about? Instead of word verification, I'm going to give some search keywords a shout. As I was bored and having a look and some were so funny I had to write a book, or umm post, highlighting some of the phrases that help people find your host.

Now for starters there is the lets Face it Facts, of course I said that so many times it's brought quite a few acts. So that was a given to all, who has come to my rhyming stall. But now the fun begins and just so you know Grammar Nazi I didn't commit these sins.

So they came to visit it's rhyme time, to see my rhyming chime. Oh no it was its rhyme time, as my stairs they started to climb. Damn it wait, it was its rhyme time\. Yep they committed a grammar crime. Oh no I'm wrong once more, as they used its' rhyme time to visit my shore. Oh crap I was wrong, it was its rhyme time' they used to come see the irish drinking song. Or maybe it was rhymetime24, this is confusing, thank God there is no more.

One found their way with damn rhyme, probably a pissed off mime. Another looked up rhyming cat, I'm famous how about that? Here is a fun one that might make the mutts mad, as mutt that sniffs butts was used to find this rhyming lad. Oh I mean cat, but you knew that.

Here is a big long confusing one, rhymes little bad in good and a little good in bad, boy was that a ton. No idea who would actually type out all of that, but I bet they got a thrill when they came to see the cat. Speaking of long and nuts, this one probably created finger cuts. Typing this out in Google would be insane, I'd pop a vein. rhyme with, you wouldn't want to miss a celebration such as, maybe they were looking for jazz?

Rhyme to make you smile, I think I can do that one for a good long while. The all seeing eye pyramid came through, bringing another to view. But big words you can use to rhyme with left me high and dry. At least they could have told the word before saying bye. Cat names that end in y, now there was a clever guy. Does Orlin or Cassie end in that? Nope, not even Pat. Or that Drazin nut, I think Google got stuck in a rut. But if they wanted to send them my way, I guess that's OK.

Create a rhyme brought one here, probably some thieving nut I fear. But the cat won't judge, maybe just hold a small grudge. Back in time rhyme, maybe he wanted to go 88mph and go back when gas was a dime. Because I'm so clever. Who me? Oh I'll take it if you must praise my endeavour.

Do you no to wash your hands rhymes, maybe they wanted to see how not to catch germs from even limes. Heck with the germs gone they could work on spelling a tad better, as they wouldn't want to type like that in any official letter.

Fetching the cat limited edition, so if I'm limited can I charge a commission? But I don't play fetch, so that was a bit of a stretch. All the good times was so fun, sounds like a little too much for someone. And makes two about a fat, now really who the heck would search for something like that? Playing it back rhymes, guess they wanted to read me multiple times.

Now for the two that put this idea in my head and might cause some dread. But I found them funny and they just made this idea that much more sunny. Kiss my ass rhymes, I might have said that in a few of my chimes. Do fruit loops cause gas, if they do you can get rid of it by jumping around like my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Fried Squirrel Yum! Want Me To Send You Some?


For a rodent that has 365 different classified species or so, you'd think that the little buggers would be in the know. At least by now, that chewing on a wire won't make them go meow. They'll still be little rodents running about and at the very least have no snout. As it will be fried, but with a little ketchup applied, the cat says they make a yummy snack, and go great with the rat burger I mentioned earlier at my shack.

But I guess with the brain the size of a walnut they should just stay in their hut. Oops I meant drey or if it's in a tree it's a den, hell let's just say bay. Yes these little rodents annoyed the cat, as after I woke Pat, everything seemed all fine, yet once the light switch didn't work, we looked around and saw one got fried on the powerline.

Oh that big juicy wire just looks so yummy, I want it in my tummy. Yeah I think that walnut size is over stated, maybe those lets Face it Facts were dated. But the best part was the light switch didn't work, the fridge conked out like a jerk, yet two feet away the microwave was having a great day.

The dumb rodent couldn't even do the job right, as during it's powerline fight, where it had to try and gulp those yummy wires down, it only took half the power out in that part of town. So a light switch worked here, yet a plug didn't to the rear. Of course the stuff that needed to be plugged in, was so far away from the working plugs Pat had to give a few extension cords a spin.

Actually it was quite funny moving things around to fit certain plugs, maybe that squirrel took some nasty drugs. But just as everything was on and plugged back in, as Pat didn't let the squirrel win. Not even a minute later it all came back on, I think that squirrel was a demon spawn. It probably laughed at making everyone do all this switching around, as it fell crispy to the ground.

So of course had to go and put everything back, thanks to this dumb rodent's powerline attack. But if you are looking for something good to eat and those blackberries over you know where look too sweet. I can still go out and scrape it off the grass and mail it to you from bush #3 where I reside, with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, July 16, 2011

dVerse Enough For You? Yes, You Know It's True!

Brian I thought my work was through for today, then I came to the pre-opening thingy to play and look what you made me do, again I have to blame you.

So first some fun, then we'll get to the other stuff I just done.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
So there is a new place
Where poets should show their face
Heck even nut jobs like me
Can go and sit at their tree
Oh wait I meant pub
Hopefully I don't get a snub
So now that I'm done this verse
Even if I made you curse
Go get out of your funk
And show a little spunk
Visit the dVerse pub
As I hear they have good grub
Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Now these five below, were supposed to look like bricks in a wall, just so you know. But on short notice I can only do so much, so use your imagination just a touch.

Hallucinogenic Visions Spur           First tool out was a hammer
Design, Countenance Blur              Swung with quite the stammer
Sparking Flash Pants                     Shit, Damn, ****, my thumb
Procuring Cardinal Plants               Oh that was dumb
Naked Globe, Yet Lights Strobe      Yet I still envision the glamor

Concrete Spilled, Assembly Stated       Heat and Cold collide, yet taken in stride
Intentions Stream Forth                        What was drew dust, staggers forth sheer lust
Dam Ruptures Through Muses Light     Completion compelled to take place
Combined Cognition Woes Thwarted   Whether or not suffering Mother Nature's grace
Foundation Secure, Destiny Concrete   In axis spinning sphere, relaxation draws near

The duct tape flinched, as the feeble breeze secured hold.
End swaying in the wind, not strong enough to hold on,
but stubborn enough to carry forth. Job requirement withheld,
as nail drives through gently held spot. The two converse,
appreciating the others help, combination process established
 
Yes Brian now what do you want? You want air time to taunt? OK I'll give you a second or two, what you want to try that Hoedown thingy I did way back, hmph, who knew.

dVsere Hoedown

We're throwing a party at our pub, so come show your spunk
As we'll be hear all night long, with lots of poetry to get you drunk
Conversing with friends, with poerty galore, is sure the life
So for tonight, join us and skip the foreplay with the wife

Hahaha umm but Brian what if it's the other way around, shouldn't that also be given some ground.

Conversing with friends, with poetry galore, just gives you another excuse
To wave off your husband and leave certain things hanging loose

Hahaha there you go, see so dVerse at my show, oh you're out of time, so away you go. Now if get any more dVerse than this a gasket I will blow, just came up with this in thirty minutes or so. So if things don't meet the Face it Facts or whatever, just pretend I was still clever. Plus my new It's Rhyme Time theme just proves that, which can be seen on the top right showing the cat. Now I have to go eat more than grass, which means that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, July 15, 2011

BEST ONE EVER, I'm So Clever!

So as you all know, I figured I'd make a theme for my show. Gave a glimpse at some a while back and after some feedback. I chose one that worked best with song, to which you can even sing along. But the song wasn't just enough, so for the last three hours I've been playing rough.

Trying to avoid Pat, as he followed around this rhyming cat. But after a while I just wanted him to go away, so I decided to make his day. Doing the activities he wanted me to do, Cassie on the other hand gave him a big Screw You! But when it was all done, I have to admit it was rather fun.

I hardly ever impress myself, here at my shelf. But this is one time where all I can say as wow, so go watch now! Oh and Orson I think you'll be glad, at my fun that was had.


So what did you think of that? A good theme for the cat? Let me know all the Face it Facts, as I want to hear what you think of my new theme tracks. So watch it again and send it about, while I just sit back and gloat. Oh and sorry there lass, if you were offended by actually seeing my little rhyming ass..haha

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Attack of the Cereal, Brian You Had To Go And Make One Bacterial!

So thanks to Brian posting in the comments below the other day, going off in a new path as he had his say, indicating not to let him pee in my cereal, I've received quite the flack to use as material. Thanks to Brian the cereal killer, you get this little thriller. No the peacock hasn't returned, instead his comment seems to have really burned, a cast of characters unlike most, of course they'd come and bug your host.

"Isn't this cat Greeeeeeeeeeat! I'll even rhyme since I'm on his plate."
"Yeah him and the Captain will make it happen, even with Brian and his dirty rapping."
"You'll never get me lucky charms, I installed plenty of alarms."
"What's that I smell? It's fruit loops I can just tell."
"I'm cuckoo for this cat, but steal my Cocoa Puffs and I'll squash you flat."
"Silly cat trix are for kids, but it doesn't stop me from licking the lids."
"Oh such snap, crackle and pop here, although you may want to have a pill handy we fear."

Too many people trying to yap at once at my place, Brian made the comment go bug him at his place.

"Because cat you're Greeeaaaaat and we all can relate."
"Yeah so don't pop your signature vein, Snap, Crackle and Pop are here to make sure you don't go insane."

Shut up and go away, you cause too much dismay. I'll do more than relieve myself in your cereal and it will be quite the raw material.

"What's that I smell, Oh it's gas not swell."

Keep your nose out of the air or I'll make your fruit loops go bare. You'll have none left and have to share with one of these others nuts, I miss the days of mutts.

"Are you cuckoo dear cat? I think we should talk to Pat."

Pat is just rolling his eyes at all of you, glad nothing with this post he has to do.

Drazin: "Cat Drazin is back and going to have you for lunch. Than Drazin is going to make a pair of slippers out of you and you're bimbo. Don't you just love the Great God Duke Drazin. What is this? Drazin didn't know there was a convention in town?"

"I take that back cat, this Drazin guy is as cuckoo as a nutty bat."
"Silly Drazin this is the home of the cat, stop trying to squash him flat."
"He thinks he's Greeeeaaat, but so full of hate."
"He needs more than the Captain to make that happen, the cat will never be dirt napping."
"Not even me lucky charms can help, his eyes glow, yelp."
"He has no snap, just a big yap. He has a bit of crackle, as he can cackle. Look at those eyes pop, cat just call a cop."
"I smell something from the gutter. Is he talking in the third person or did he stutter.?"

Great just what I need, this so called God clown coming to my feed, on top of these other mooks from a cereal box, I really, really need to get new locks.

Drazin: "Cat have you finally decided to run away and join the circus? Are you getting some practice in? Don't strain, as Drazin is going to cause you pain. Drazin will make sure you never get there. For Drazin is going to skin you alive, Drazin is going to wear you as slippers. Drazin...."

"Think we'll get lucky and he'll shut up soon, me thinks he's a bit of a loon."
"Wouldn't that be Greeeeaaat but I think he's a bit of a windbag mate."
"I think the nut house is calling this cuckoo back, as over the nest he must have flew to come and attack."
"Silly Drazin Trix are for kids, being a God you should know anyone else heaven forbids."

Who else wants to chime in, maybe Rin Tin Tin?

Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-doo
I've got another perfect puzzle for you
Oompa Loompa, do-ba-dee-dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me
What do you get when shore is clean
And you can't them to see you as mean
Unwanted house guests by the bunch
Refusing to leave until you feed them lunch
At least your refrigerator is now clean too
Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-da
Pull a Fox and run them over with your car
Than you will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa do-ba-dee-do

 
 
Oh that's just what I need, those orange fools back at my feed. This is becoming quite the nut house, I think I should go eat a mouse.

"Silly cat Trix are better than a mouse, maybe one day you'll learn that from a spouse."
"Oh snap, those guys have an orange yap. They sure can crackle like a drone, with their little moan. Their green hair adds pop, as long as it's just on top."
"They smell magically delicious I'd say, whoops Lucky in your territory did I stray?"
"As long as you don't eat me lucky charms, I won't chop off your wings or arms."
"Isn't this Greeeeeaaaat all, don't you just love the cat's stall?"
"No wonder the cuckoo went extinct, it wasn't like the cat, so distinct."
"Wow maybe those green guys need some crunch, instead of all that candy for lunch."

Brian this is all your fault, bringing these guys to my vault. Just had to go and threaten to take a leak, when you came for a peek.

Drazin: "It's time Drazin put an end to this crap. Drazin will have bird stew, Drazin will have a Tiger rug, Drazin will have a new pot of gold, Drazin will pass a snap, crackle and pop with a flush, Drazin will make sure cuckoo's stay extinct, Drazin will sink your damn boat, Drazin will play basketball will round orange men, Drazin will have a lucky rabbit's foot and Drazin will have Drazin's cat slippers."

"Wow that's a cuckoo task for one guy, oh yeah you're a God, even though I think you lie."
"Let's get this goof as it will be Greeeeaaat when he goes poof."

Drazin: "What the...get away from the Great God Drazin...."

"Here have a pot of gold, wasn't that whack aside the head bold."
"You want a lucky rabbits foot, this one will make you go caput."
"The Captain will ram his mast, right up your..***, sorry kiddies moment of weakness there, the Captain usually doesn't rhyme or swear."
"Here's a snap to the eye, a crackle to make you fry and a pop along with a good bop."
"When we're through, you will be see circling cuckoos."
"I will smell something vile, when we make your pants fill with a pile."
"Some greeeaaat God you are, I hope you don't fall too far."

Oh what the heck, why not make the trek and use the same trick twice, as this Drazin guy is as blind as those mice. With a hop, skip and a jump from the cat, once again off the balcony goes Drazin kersplat. Back in the trash where he belongs, letting out his same old songs.

Drazin: "Drazin will get you cat and the rest of those creatures will become nothing but a stat."

"Guess he's not lucky at all, that was quite the fall."
"Oh that was greeeeeaat for sure, I love taking the rhyming tour."

Not for long, as you don't belong. So if you don't clear out, I won't pout or shout. I'll take a share of your revenue, for cluttering up my avenue.

"Oops got to go, the Captain wouldn't want his income to slow."
"Yeah Trix may be for kids, but no one takes the rabbit's bids."
"Oh snap time to go, lets crackle and pop away from this show."
"I smell fruit loops, time to round up the toucan troops."
"You're not that greeeaaat, taking my royalties isn't your fate."
"I'm the last of my kind, so I have to support a whole cuckoo species you will find."
"You won't be lowering my pot of gold, wow you're cold."

And away they scurry as I caused them financial worry. At least now I know how to make them go. See now wasn't that quite confusing from your host, don't forget to thank Brian for bringing about this post. So that's the lets Face it Facts of the day, aren't you glad you came my way? I might invest in some rings of brass, so next time I can beat them up with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

A Theme Song For Little Old Me, Oh Golly Gee!

So while Betsy was in my head, as she stated in the comments below, yeah I know, such dread. She went through my nice clean filing cabinet stealing my good lines. So don't believe her when some things she says shines. As she stole them from me, but that's OK I charge a fee. She just doesn't know it yet. What's that? Double or nothing you say? I'll take that bet..haha

So where was I? Oh right she listed off a bunch of crap from the past some low, some high. This spurred the idea I had on the back burner for a while, so I thought I'd head down this mile. For as she listed a ton of my crap, I gave my own theme song a clap. I came up with three, which one is the best from me? Yes I know they are all good, but order them you should. Damn aren't I great, yes I can do this over and over again mate.

Oh and before you start does about really rhyme with ouch? Anyone anywhere on a train, on a bus, or on a couch? Yeah I didn't think so, see now a certain person is in the know. I won't say who, as she might sue and I'd lose my fee, oops was it given away by me...haha

So on with the show, just let me know, which you think is the best. As it be interesting to see which one scores the highest in this test.

Theme Number One, Such Fun!

Oh I live in a bush that flashes its crack
Like a smile to the east
Where germs fear entry
As Miss Priss roams on sentry
Hey, you know what to expect, at least

My rhymes can't be beat
So sit down, tap your feet
For come pretty soon
You'll start to strain
Pop a vein
Pop a pill
Thanks to this rhyming loon

The nonsense from day
Changes form come night
Causing more stress
As you bow at my success
But you could, maybe, win...yeah right

So search out my tail
From my hot air mass
Don't fall through the cracks
That's the lets Face it Facts
Just surrender to my little rhyming ass

Theme Number Two, Who Knew!

Taking over the world here at my shore
Traffic, cats, nonsense - rhymes galore
You might get a thrill or pop a pill

It's Rhyme Time, Meow
Rhymes, grammar crimes, such fun times, Meow

One day you may regret this find
Met with jokes from my little behind
At least I'm fair, so pull up a chair to Rhyme Time, Meow

Once you have a handle on this rhyming twister
It gets amplified with a new transistor
Leaving you so confused, yet increasingly amused

It's Rhyme Time, Meow
Tails so nuts you'll be hooked the first time, Meow
I'm joined by Pat and Cassie Cat it's Rhyme Time, Meow

Theme Number Three, Yes I Really Could Do Fifty!

Stand on your head
Use your hands not your feet
As you walk down the street
Feel the dread
As your eyes start to spread

Stare at your veins
Notice the change of walking headfirst
As you swear they will burst
Then they pop giving pains
Suck back a pill for whatever remains

Act like a human not a baboon
Standing right side up
Or you can't drink from your cup
Who was that loon
Wait, what? A cartoon

You've just been confused
Becoming another stat
Of the rhyming cat
Feeling used
And a tad abused

Yet you have a new addiction
Coming back for more
Taking a daily Rhyme Time tour
What is this affliction
It has to be fiction

As you come tip your hatt
Hoping for some sort of sense
Relieving the suspense
Expecting a greeting from Pat
Instead you're met with Orlin the Rhyme Time Cat

So I've said it a time or two already, but I have to keep on doing it steady. As it's just my thing, to shout out and sing. How I got gas? Whoops meant to say something about my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.