Wednesday, August 31, 2011

What Each One Really Means, On These Keyboard Machines!

So as Pat was doing book number two, the cat heard him say shit and hit backspace on cue. The cat thought it was rather fun and just had to give this one a run. So the Face it Facts of this one can see, really quite easily.

backspace - "shit I screwed up. Whoops it wasn't me, the damn computer is at fault for this hiccup. Stupid keyboard didn't repeat the keys I hit. It did it again time for another fit."

shift - "I really want you to hear me. I want to SHIFT words for you to see. Can't you tell I'm SHOUTING at you, as I hit shift on cue"

caps lock - "I REALLY WANT YOU TO HEAR ME. I'M ANGRY AND WANT YOU TO SEE. TAKE PITY ON ME AND GIVE ME SOME ATTENTION, AFTER ALL MY BIG WHINING DON'T I DESERVE A MENTION. YOU HEARD ME RIGHT? DOESN'T IT SOUND LIKE I'M A BIG INTERNET BULLY THAT WANTS TO FIGHT?"

esc - "An easy way to make someone shut their yap. blah blah blah esc, phew out of that gap. Oh it hurts the eyes or they are such lies. esc and all is good, make it for real life they should."

ctrl - "I'm holding down the button making you under my spell. ctrl, ctrl, ctrl it's not working what the hell."

space - "Maybe if I add an extra space here and an extra space there, no one will see or care. It could look long and they'd think I'm right and not wrong."

f1, f2,....., f12 - "I hate this fing thing. One time I want the f word to fling. Oh now there is ten of you, ten times f**k is due. Damn there is just too many people I need it for. If added the keyboard would stretch right out the door."

print screen - "I've got you now, you cheating cow. I got proof of your evil affair. I now know you've been cheating with a grizzly bear. Oh the shame, you bring on my name."

alt - "I want to see rainbow colors making my words look hippy. alt, alt, alt, damn nothing is occurring this is rather trippy."

insert, delete, home, end, page up, page down - "I guess they needed to waste some room, as twice on the keyboard they bloom. Maybe if I hit each one at the same time, things will automatically rhyme. What if I hit page up and page down, nothing will happen making me frown. Inserting can be fun, although as useless as the other one. Delete can be great, right after you use f1 you can say goodbye mate. Home and end, are just a useless trend. So they are stuck on there twice to give a pair for those suffering from a vice."

enter - "Now that all has been done, I want to do another one. enter, enter, enter time to start anew and give another rhyme to view. As even if I'm crass, you can never esc, maybe just use f12, my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

A dVerse From Me To You, Mr. Linky Might Sue!

So the Face it Facts of this one are simple enough and some might get in a huff with what I'm about to puff. But I promise not to be too rough. Okay I might lie, but the cat will give it his best try. Anyway last Tuesday, the cat went here and there, following the yellow brick linky road everywhere. As I did so, I thought it would be fun to jot down the name of each show.

So if this goes on a while, in my typical rhyming style. There is no one to blame but dVerse, so send them your best curse. Or you can give it to me, I'll take it gladly. Now without further adieu, time to rhyme the Mr. Linky crew.

Hey Bub! This is the dVerse Pub!

One has to take Life in Degrees
But those Zen Moments make it a breeze
Helping you send a Letter to the Moon
Don't look a Madame Sweetcheeks you loon

You might get stabbed with a Sharp Little Pencil
Mad Kane's Humor Blog could relieve this tensile
Thwarting Mercutio's Revenge
Henry Clemmons will avenge

Rhyme Me a Smile you must
Wow that look is full of Sweet Lust
The Mockingbird Sings tonight
She's Writing fighting the good fight

Is that Catnip I smell
Or a Word Salad, I can't tell
I guess I need to go to The Word Bar
I want a Word Fresco not tar

Haiku Love Songs have me under a spell
The Borg Poet might shoot me to hell
But he's too busy Chasing Tao right now
So a Peaceful Idler I'll be as I meow

Damn I'm Jaywalking the Moon
I climbed a Glass Staircase and used a balloon
Ed Pilolla don't rat me out
After my Verse Escape I'll send a trout

Those Loose Leaf Notes gave me a scratch
Pages From My Mind beat that batch
Oh that one's Signed.....bkm
Shine the Divine on such a gem

In the Corner of My Eye
A Knot in the Line I spy
The Tashtoo Parlour is the cause
But Diana's Words will still give applause

On a Day Like Today
Excursions and Diversions might be the way
1 Emerald City is pretty I hear
As it's Celebrating a Year

Avoiding Urbanality at its best
Can you pass The Sanctum of Sanity test
A Sun Kissed Life could come true
If you're more than a Daydreamer Too

Not a Bird's Eye Gemini
But I Rhyme Without Reason, no lie
The Essayist might take offense
As my First Pages are quite dense

Y I Write God only Knows
Could be because My Tenth Muse joined the pros
Or I need some Immersion Blog-apy
Or just some Miscellanous Yammering for you to see

Faith Fiction Friends
WaystationOne has them to no ends
Poems to Ponder are all around
Poetical Psyche has many to be found

Penguin Poems are quite rad
Simplicity helps I must add
But don't fall down Oran's Well
Becky Kilsby might yell

Finally Pheonix would pry you out
So a new Poem Blaze you could spout
Modernity's Muse would be delighted
As some Poetic Delusions would be sighted

Are you having a Zero Summer
Jannie Funster considers that a bummer
The Garden Gate has you covered
If from A Glass of Bubbly you've recovered

Think I'm past The Halfway Point
As Aressa's Melodies fill my joint
The Wayside Word Garden fills my senses
Art Happens 365 on the fences

Fractured Phrases can be tough
But Lady Nyo's Weblog keeps you up to snuff
Inside Out Poetry could turn you around
And The World Poetized you could be found

Writing Without Paper can be fun
As a Bufferfly and Cocoon is spun
Peering through Windowland
Seeing Wolfs Rosebud's Blog is grand

This is quite the Alokoli for sure
With each abstract Semaphore tour
Fiorghra is all I can say
As the Yellow House Cafe sits on the bay

A Thing For Words and fun play
Mrs. Mediocrity tends to display
Shay's Word Garden helps words grow
As Bardology spreads words on the go

But Words Are My Drug of Choice
Beachanny's Texas will rejoice
As Rockpool Poety does pool
Safehouse Poetry plays it cool

I got An Inkling of Sorts
The Fourth Dimension is sending reports
Or Poems From The Heart
Giving Poetic: Whispers a kick start

That California Ink in Motion
Is seen in Orchards Windows Roses and oceans
The Noiseless Cuckooclock doesn't hurt my ears
Even Insanity in Purple gives cheers

The Linnet will fly on by
Pandamoniums Cat's blog might cry
As Expatincat's blog eats it first
Live2write2day's blog will quench the thirst

Poet Dreamer Steve's Shack
And Chromapoes don't lack
Kavisionz are fun to see
As Quazism's blog grows the poetry tree

The Cassandra Chronicles this has become
The Walking Den can walk and hum
Words and Thoughts PJs you will relate
As Memory Box Creations fill your plate

So Live High from each rafter
And keep Living Creatively Ever After
As a Rainbow shines through
And everything is simply new

So ends my dVerse chime
Here at It's Rhyme Time

Wasn't that a fun trip down the dVerse road, with some nutty rhyming bs load. I got all I saw and typed them out with my paw, but if I missed one or got it wrong with my rhyming fun. My bad, we'll blame that Pat lad. So after typing this huge dVerse mass, off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, August 29, 2011

They Say A Lot Can Be Said. Let's See What Comes From My Head!


Those five kitties on Betsy's lawn.
Why are you giving them the time of day, boring, yawn.

Cassie shut your yap. This is my place to flap.
And that you do. Do you want an award or two?

Ignore Miss Priss for today. She's just mad she can't rhyme and play.
Yeah that really makes me sad. That you are such a rhyming lad. I'm sure the female cats just love that, keep it up you so called wild cat.

Oh shut up already, you annoy me quite steady. That's right ignore me and lick your behind, I hope something brown and yucky you find.

So in the pic that was sent, with one wanting us to come and the other a bit bent. Doesn't it look like he is thinking really hard, while she is enjoying the yard? Yes they have names, but I'm not playing their games. So frik n frak, is all they'll get from my attack.

As cats I have seen a ton and I don't want to see another one. So having me visit would be quite a commotion. But maybe that Tiger fellow would get an added promotion. As you two might not be so pretty, wouldn't that be a pity?

Oh you are so full of hot air. You'd probably just run away from that pair.
Who asked you? Go back to cleaning off your do do.

The only do do around here is that little thing between your ears. Look I got plenty of cheers. See I will always win. Even at your rhyming garbage bin.
Okay Miss Priss you are toast. I'm going to pack you up and ship you off to the coast.

At least I'd be rid of you. So do what you think you have to do.
Oh go away and leave me be. Go get stuck in a tree.

Just what I thought full of hot air. Or too cheap to pay the freight fare.
Yeah you go fill your gut. At least it will keep your mouth shut.

So I guess the Face it Facts of this little rant. Are one can invite while the other can recant, meaning one says one thing and one says another. Isn't it fun to have an annoying sister or brother?

No! Not really. I'd like to be alone ideally.
Alright enough of you. Time I used my kitty kung fu.

You mean a quick dash and then try to blind me with a flash. Sorry you have nothing left there to see, guess you can't beat me.
Look what you two black cats did, you better hope I never get to your grid. Or things may go bad for you. Yeah he may yell boo. Oh that be so scary wouldn't it, causing you to have a fit.

Time I crush you with my mass and that is all out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hurt Your Head Or Get Angry and Turn Red!

So as the cat was here and there, on a comment tear, out came a little jig, that I knew I just had to take big. The Face it Facts of this are simply I'm a loon and nope with my pyschic powers I still can't bend a spoon. But I'll keep on trying, maybe one day I'll be a rhyming, flying Donkey...err umm cat, oh stop your sighing.

Did you do, what I asked you to do. By doing it, did it get done or did you do a little of what doing there was to do?
Is the truth true? True to some, but not true to you, does that make it true?

Maybe I'm a liar, lying about being a liar. So lying about a liar would make me a liar, through lying about a liar.
The fire found fire, through a crowd of fire and joined up making a bigger fire. Does that mean the fire merged in fire or was it always one fire?

If you're beat yet can't be beat are you really beat or playing to a different beat?
Your neat isn't my neat, so is it still neat? Or would I find your neat not neat and you'd think my neat was neat?

Think about thinking and when thinking think about not thinking, are you thinking when not thinking about thinking?
If you're sinking, yet sink only a little while sinking, did you really sink or sink while sinking?

Time to check the time of your timing. Does time find time to take time to make time to set time?
Rhyme a rhyme and well rhyming rhyme a rhyme about rhyme. Did you rhyme a rhyme, rhyme about rhyme or rhyme in rhyme?

Paint a white line white with white, so the white line is white with white.
Fought a fight, fighting a fight, fixing a fight. So by fighting a fight and fixing a fight was their a fight?

Stinks stunk such stinky stink while stinking up stinky air. Did the stink stink the air or the air stink the stink?
Link a link and by linking the link create a link with a link to a link from a link, which link is the link?

Now didn't you have fun while I was funny, finding fun in funny and funny in fun. If I run while walking did I really run or was running walking or walking a run? This test one can't pass, as it's some kind of nutty crap that came out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, August 26, 2011

I Might Actually Go In, But Using Would Still Be A Sin!

So as Pat was at work, going here and there to lurk. He sent this to the cat, an email they sent around at the work mat. It was too fun not to use, especially with how much I port a pottie abuse.


What could she be going in? Maybe a high tech garbage bin. Look at such reflective glass. Would you have guessed it is for your ass? Yes when you feel a tingle and have to go, no longer do blue little buildings steal the show. As in you trot and now they've made it so you won't get caught.


As once inside you can see far and wide. Who knew using the can could be a fun ride? No need for a paper or magazine, as you get to watch the daily scene. Plus you can see if someone is outside, trying to get in and know if they lied. When they say they really have to go, you can now tell by the actions they show. That would be quite weird indeed, with all those people about some might not let things be freed and be worse off than before. Oh the pain of taking the one way mirror port a pottie tour.



Now imagine if you were drunk or in some kind of funk and looked down to see this. The ground you might miss, grasping at this and that, until you realize it's the same as a floor mat. This would actually be rather nifty to have I say, might scare the germy users away..haha.



And if you think I would ever do this. All you'll get is a hiss. Plus Pat would never let me at all. As he'd have to leave the seat up and in I would fall. Yes I've taken a dive in here and there, that water just calls me, it's so unfair. But the litter I will take and in cat toilet training is something which I will never partake.

Either way the Face it Facts are no port a pottie I would ever use, but I can use them to abuse and the later to maybe confuse. That would be quite the rouse. I'll take my tush and go in a bush, if need be and that is all from me. On a new kind of port a pottie. But they need something to replace the phone booth you see. So I guess this is the next best thing. I wonder if they are sound proof in case you want to sing? Oh this is all just giving me gas, so off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Prepare For Snow, Yeah Nuts I Know!

So first some Face it Facts of the day, before I get on with my play. If you didn't believe the cat, which never admit or I'll squash you flat..haha. Or Betsy too, of course with her "dear" shame on you. Then you can go and see, Lanie's huge review of A Not So New World and it even has a little on me. Damn she's good, click here you should.

It was four months before Christmas and all through the land
Not a snow flake in sight or a mitten on hand
Everyone still at the beach without a care
Naked enough their almost bare

The kiddies were going back to school
Most not thinking it was at all cool
The parents flew free
As if they were full of holiday glee

When out on the doorstep arose such a slam
You duck and cover expecting a sales scam
Away to the window you slowly slink
Inching back the curtain trying not to blink

The sun shined down with a spotlight glare
Showing you there was no one there
But what should catch your watchful eye
A dog chasing that mailman guy

He ran rather fast dropping his bag
Trying to out zig and out zag
The dog walked off quite proud
Pretending his shih tzu bark was quite loud

The action had settled in the street
As you wished you had something to beat the heat
Upon opening the door to get some fresh air
Was a sight that almost makes you swear

For you learn it wasn't a salesperson at your door
But something much worse you couldn't ignore
"Sears" had paid you a visit that day
With a catalogue for something four months away

They basically say screw Halloween
And anything else inbetween
Don't you want to shop now
These prices will wow

But wait it isn't available until November anyway
Yet you should order today
Before you see the sales and find we overcharge
Making our prices look rather large

You give a flip through and see the same old stuff
Most of it nothing but fluff
But you cry out "Oh no"
Where did the time go

For the door swings open and in they come
As you try to hide the book with a ho and a hum
But they see it and the long wait begins
Damn those catalogue Christmas skins

They flip through wanting this and that
Quite over eager in their chat
How long is it the kids demand
Still four months before Christmas all through the land

Oh that was rather fun, as I saw the new catalogue the other week arrive in the sun. I thought it was rather nuts and rolled my eyes, as they come out early with the so called great buys. And so it starts all over the place, as they shove things down your throat and in your face. But I won't let them harass, as I'll ignore and walk on by with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Oh The Pain, I Could Pop a Vein!

Now this could be a rather interesting situation and upon some Face it Facts examination, I'm sure you'll get what I'm doing rather fast. As this one is no where near as confusing as the last. But if you do get a tad confused never fear, you can curse my little rhyming rear.

So here and there I stuck my face
Face the frivolous shell many embrace
I thought it would be rather neat
Neat ordering ones chaotic beat

To play off the last words
Words an excuse for political herds
Of each and every line
Line a load of bull expected to be taken fine

Plus of course I'd make it rhyme
Rhyme considered a poetic war crime
But then something else took hold
Hold endearing one with no words told

Now I get to be a nut and profound
Profound letting one know with each resound
So no need to have a fit
Fit claims overstated by some a bit

Damn I'm talking to myself again
Again same foolish attempts at pointless gain
All these voices won't shut their mouth
Mouth promises emitted that soon head south

Don't know if I can count the amount
Amount a tally of greed used to surmount
As there are so many coming out
Out loop holes that magically sprout

So I guess I'll just let one speak
Speak used for foul critique
Hopefully giving my brain a rest
Rest ignorance is bliss in their quest

Crap I didn't succeed
Succeed considered by others lead
This could be tough
Tough usually a hangman's bluff

They might all come out soon
Soon a foolish word for in a blue moon
And that could simply be scary
Scary useless fear those squawk and ferry

I guess that would be the defintion type voice in my head, but I'll cause it dread. As it got them all wrong or maybe it was trying to allude to a different song. Either way, I guess we had our say. So off I go with this voice mass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Bah They Are Bombarding The Cat, So dVerse At My Mat!

The cat doesn't want to chat today and is going to ignore the dVerse way. Did you really believe that? If you did let me pull out the mat. As I can yap all day and night, to my own delight. Others might not find it swell but what the hell. I don't give a strat and that is that. But today for my little adventure, others came and joined in on my dVerse venture. They started calling me names, swearing and all kinds of other games. I guess they didn't like the rhyme or felt I committed some crime.

They Are Attacking Me! Oh The Glee!

Does mommy know you escaped from a straight jacket?
What's the matter afraid of my rhyming racket
Who's driving this car, Stevie Wonder?
Wrong guess, looks like you had a blunder.

How can the same shit happen to the same guy twice?
You're just special and oh so nice.
Hey dickhead! Did I come at a bad time?
No but you should have tried to rhyme

Yeah, I'm that ****ing Energizer bunny.
So what do you want a plaque or some money
Crawl out from that rock you're hiding under, and I'll drive this truck up your ass.
It's a bush with a crack and no rock just lots of grass

When I say: "Hey, dirtbags!" that means you
That Drazin guy isn't going to like you including him in your stew
You probably don't think that I can force this towel down your throat
Can we talk about this and maybe change it to a coat

Go that way, really fast. If something gets in your way, turn
Good advice I won't even make you feel the rhyming burn
I’ve come to the conclusion that my guts have shit for brains
Thanks for sharing your gut pains

Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies
Oh you sound so wise
That man has more lives than a cat
Even when he gets squashed flat

Who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side
I don't know who? That has to give them pride
The only reason you're still conscious is because I don't want to carry you
Now now the cat isn't that fat, I swear it's true

I bet you can squeal like a pig
A bird I can do, but a pig I don't dig
I feel like I’m taking crazy pills
Don't you just love my rhyming thrills

I thought I was looking at my mother's old douche-bag, but that's in Ohio
I hope at least he's ummmm very brio
Those assholes must have stolen the wrong ****ing exam
You know I really don't need your spam

I have nipples, could you milk me
Not a sight I want to see
Come with me if you want to live
Some scary advice you give

They should make pills for this shit
Pop a few advil for your fit
Goddammit, I’d piss on a spark plug if I thought it’d do any good
hahaha try that you should

I killed the president of Paraguay with a fork.
Are you some crazy person from New York?
Get busy living, or get busy dying
You sir or ma'am aren't lying

Since I've met you I've nearly been incinerated, drowned, shot at, and chopped into fish bait
I think you have the wrong cat mate
Nobody leaves this place without singing the blues
What you don't like my rhyming news

Well, I read that dentists are prone to suicide
I guess I'll avoid them far and wide
Don't **** with the babysitter
The langauge, you sure sound bitter

If you don't cooperate, you're gonna suffer from fistophobia
Is that like claustrapobia
I'm in the lobby of a Howard Johnson's and I'm wearing a pink carnation
Oh lets just pretend I never heard that proclamation

What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive.
Yeah I hope you at least go five by five
I swear I'll go all over the world telling people not to screw the boss's wife
Okay so you're telling me in case I get a life

Friends do not engage in sexual congress with each other's wives
What is it with these tales of cheating bee hives
She thought "dictation" was some kind of S&M trip
Damn she must have been really hip

I swear to God when they start slapping that mayonnaise on there I could kill somebody
I hope they didn't use mayonnaise in their gluttony
I live my life a quarter mile at a time
At least you're not a mime

Just when I thought it was safe to go back in the water
Yeah your feet a shark might want to slaughter
Cuts off all the oxygen to his brain
I'm sure that could happen on my rhyming train

Its too damn hot for a penguin to be just walkin’ around here
Ummm a cat and a penguin have nothing in common I fear
They drew first blood, not me
So I guess that means you climbed a tree

C'mon baby, come ta' papa, I'll kiss ya' ****in' dalmatian
What if I had a whole plantation
Nine million terrorists in the world and I gotta kill one with feet smaller than my sister
Damn they must have given you an awful blister

The price is wrong, bitch
So in other words I need a new pitch
Would you like to go for Double Jeopardy where the scores can really change
Sure even though you sound strange

He could be a ****ing bartender for all we know
No I rhyme and do accounting at my show
Let's see you take *this* under advisement, jerkweed
You aren't very nice at my feed

Are you the Keymaster
If I say yes will you go away faster
Hi I'm Paulie the Penis. And I just love to have fun
I think you need to be locked up and given pills by the ton

My uncle thought he was Saint Jerome
I suppose that's better than a garden gnome
Now that penis had a mole on it
You still not over that penis fit

Please, please can we call it a tallywhacker
Okay if you want to be a slacker
I don't care if they're dead as long as they ain't too cold
Do I even want to be told

Either I have a monster in my kitchen or I'm completely crazy
Maybe your vision was just a little hazy
Last night, Darth Vader came down from planet Vulcan
I think you need to put away the drugs man

When someone asks you if you're a god, you say YES
Even if they are wearing a tacky dress
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria
You saying I could catch malaria

We came, we saw, we kicked its ass
I'm so glad you finally passed that gas
Are you trying to tell me that my mother has got the hots for me
Ummm that I would never say or want to see

It's not Tootsie or Toots or Sweetie or Honey or Doll
All of those sound like an evil cabal
Why don't you make like a tree and get outta here
hahahaha oh boy that insult struck fear

When this baby hits 88 miles per hour, you're gonna see some serious shit
I think going that fast would make bush number three split
That's all we got, one goddamn hit
Now don't throw a fit

When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor
Do you use that as your screen saver
I'm gonna cut your nuts off and stuff em down your ****in throat
I think it's time I boarded a boat

I was a stand-up tomato: a juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato
I guess that beats a non juicy potato
Don't give me this "olé" bullshit
Geez aren't you having a fit

He's looking to sacrifice a live chicken
Nah I'll just eat it and continue picking
Is very bad to steal Jobu's rum. Is very bad
Thanks for warning this lad

What was he doing wearing her panties on his head
Oh where this is going could cause dread
You know you drive almost slow enough to drive Miss Daisy
Sorry I don't drive like crazy

Eighty thousand dollars for this car and you ain't got no damn cup holder
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
Just a shiny dick with two chairs in it
Oh what wit

I want a woman that's going to arouse my intellect as well as my loins
Maybe if you toss her some extra coins
It seems to me that the best way to hurt rich people is by making them poor
Sound good, lets do it some more

I can't believe I'm committing an armed robbery for two flashlights
Well you have to see the city sights
I'm not up on all this jive talkin', home boy lingo, what's that supposed to mean
That you are making a scene, maybe green and not very lean

I done ****ed around and caught a ride with the wrong white boy
Say what you really think, don't be coy
Everybody thinks I'm suicidal, in which case, I'm ****ed and nobody wants to work with me
Wow for this therapy I should charge a fee

You really are crazy
Hey at least I'm not too lazy
Boy, did you pick the wrong guy on the wrong day
I have a feeling I could feel some dismay

The same albino jackrabbit son of a bitch who did Hunsacker
Ummm does polly want a cracker
What's the ****in' charge for getting pushed out of a moving car, huh? Jaywalking?
Could be car stalking

I'm too old for this shit
I know you can't keep up with me when my rhyming fire is lit
Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho
And with that I run and hide leaving my show

Weren't some of them just rather rude and a tad crude? But oh I love it, did you have a fit? So the Face it Facts of this, just in case you're confused and start to hiss, were movies lines galore, slapped together in a rhyming tour. I think I got most of the lines right, too lazy to look them up for a sound bite. So if you disagree, go have a pee and leave me be or I'll whack you knee. Then you'll fall in the grass and I'll walk off wiggling my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Webster is Saving a Buck. So If You Want To Find Aerodrome, You're Shit Out of Luck!

So the cat was going here and there and noticed Alan's News From Nowhere. Or would that be News From Now Here? That's for another day I fear. But thi isn't an overly big deal I guess. As you can go down the Internet aerodrome and find the definition in the world wide web mess.

Plus Webster is saving a few trees, the huggers it should please. As the smaller dictionaries will no longer support, words that have seemed to leave the language court. But don't worry your pretty little head, as these words get put to bed. For it is only the small dictionary. I just think they are trying to be contrary.

Really what the heck is the point, in doing a new dictionary every year from their joint? Has that many new words really changed? Been rearranged? Does anyone even buy those things anymore? The one from 1991 is just as good as the last four. So now that they have no new words to add, some clever gal or lad, came up with lets take some out, so people will shout. Then maybe we'll get some attention and people will buy no longer leaving the print version in detention.

Alienism must have some conspiracy nuts juices flowing, as their fear is growing. Those dirty aliens took out a word, oops I sound absurd. As that word, means the study of mental illiness, boy am I absurd. Maybe I have one of those, nope it's the aliens and that's how it goes.

Damn that cat stole their best material, now they'll have to go back to their cereal and search for a new tin hat, eating all the cereal and just getting fat. Wow sort of went off course there, did the cat ruffle your hair? Just stick that tin hat on good and tight and no one will see your messy hair sight.

Who the heck decides what words go poof anyway? Throw darts at a board and pick whatever they say? Damn that's the weather guy, stealing that would make him cry. Maybe a stauroscope could find a clue, before it's flushed down the word loo.

But I guess with all the added space, Snavofebudusehagostratnugotion will have room at their place. As it's used by at least the cat and shows up at my mat. So word searcher guy, has to see it with his little eye. For they look all around, to see if a word is found. It must not count if people say it outloud, as they just look at the literary crowd.

Oh well, again just a case of trying to get people to say what the hell. As they need a little boost, over at their roost, to pretend any new print dictionary is of need, now I am done making your eyes bleed. Yep today the Face it Facts were all over the place, no rhyme or reason as I go away without a trace. But you all know I'm full of gas and sometimes more than that comes out my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Just Screwing Around Today, No That Doesn't Mean Gutter Play!

So this is an idea the cat had, upon meowing two different ways at that Pat lad. After he stole the computer from me and wrote that book of his for all to see. The Face it Facts behind this one, will be told when done. But it's going to confuse you in every way, as I have my say. But I love it, so feel free and have a fit.
Upon this daring sight
Your eyes may turn to night

Yoon they daray tusi

What was that you say
Your confused already here today

Whay waco thal yohe tosa

Nope the cat doesn't have a cold
Don't really care if you're not sold

Nodo reath caca doif hayo ano soco

You don't get the facts
Maybe you need new acts

Yoma doyo gene neth faac

Such a terrible cat am I
For making your eyes cry

Fosu amak teyo eyca cram

Wipe those tears away
Hard on the eyes at my bay

Hawi thon teth eyaw

Black with shades of grey
As I continue to play

Blas witi cosh tosh plof

Figured it out yet
Some may I bet

Sofi mait outi beye

Now lets place it into one
And you can see together the fun

Noan youle capl itse toin thon

Converge/Merge!

Yoon they daray tusi
Whay waco thal yohe tosa
Nodo reath caca doif hayo ano soco
Yoma doyo gene neth faac
Fosu amak teyo eyca cram
Hawi thon teth eyaw
Blas witi cosh tosh plof
Sofi mait outi beye
Noan youle capl itse toin thon

POOF!

Say you dart honey
Thaw why acolyte shit
door death if can
mad yoyo negate one
mate fake same crayon
hat with hoe way
blot cash sue ploy soft
shout bet may
Now fan loo fit coin telethon coy
tape sin haha cocoon you coo

FINALE!

Acolyte death door
Honey ploy sin cocoon
Coin negate shit
One way dart

YoYo mate, HaHa coy
Crayon blot you coo
Hoe shout fit
Soft say thaw
Cash bet fan

Now you tape hat
Loo same with why
May sue if can
Mad telethon fake

So start with rhyme and ended with this little chime. Merged the start of each word above and below, to get the jibberish that does show. Then went and made words from each line, using any leftovers to add when needed to the next batch so they wouldn't whine. Then picked them out and about, putting them in a combination to shout. Now wasn't that a confusing day, did I cause you much dismay? I bet you thought I was full of gas, but something always does come out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, August 19, 2011

A Stroll Through Blogland, Isn't This Just Grand!

So this idea came about, as I was going here and there to shout. So whatever pops in my head, beware could cause dread, I'm going to say, to somes dismay. So in no particular order here we go, indirectly I may poke fun at your show.

Here and There

As I go to and fro
A $1300 bird does show
A happy friendship day
Comes to play

Never knew there was such a thing
The Crows then sing
Coupled with some cloudy shapes
With maybe some cherries or grapes

As cheese can't be around no more
On an attention grabbing tour
The poor pitiful me act
After the tenth time has lost any attract

Some shadow play
Made a cats day
Until the other got in the way
Wanting to have her say

My Nova Scotia I already know
But nice of you to show
Running with crayons though
Might make all their crayoninise run low

The end, the beginning seem the same
Playing the confusing game
Guess still wrapped up in that book
Going backwards from 101 at your nook

Went to Rome
Still stuck under that dome
As the streets were great
Can't get the taste off my plate

Some remain Mute
Such a hoot
As Evening does come
And one can rest their bum

Pegasus is free
Doesn't that mean Everything to Me
Unless he flies upon high
And lets waste go on some guy

Random Thoughts seem afloat
Bringing forth a zucchini boat
Guess that was done Tuesday
I must say

As it wasn't what I did wednesday
That caused my ocd dismay
Much like underwear superheros
They look kind of like zeroes

Whose Side Are They On Now
With their Godly wow
The Little Wishing Well
Might just tell

At least you might win a rolling pin
As that jar should go in the garbage bin
Or it could hold food galore
All that makes my stomach sore

Could be a rockin robin Birdy
Or something that's a tad wordy
Like "Please do not leave your cats in parking spaces"
Yeah that sign would give some funny faces

Much can come from Wet Paint
Although you could faint
As it made a Hot Bright Day
Leaving Waste Management at bay

Or Tiger could strike a pose
That suck up really knows
How do get in the right place
To show his little face

The Silence is Deafening though
Just made sure you know
As Strolling you go
Through my show

But a woman always seemed game
To yell her name
At the cat
But Drazin scared her off my mat
Guess he's not so lame

So there we are
Blogland near and far
Without a car
At my bar

Time to stop and go
To another show
Yeah I sunk to a new low
With my to and fro

This time the Face it Facts are for all of those who come to see and nothing about bush number three. So have fun sorting out my little rant. I hope I didn't make you feel like an ant. But if I did, know I kid. Oh what I was too crass? Oops just don't try and kick my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

The Drazin Guy Wants Me Dead, So I'll Copy Fred!

So I seen this a while back and decided to give it a crack. As I was over at Poetical Psyche and saw diarized poetry there and figured I'd see how I fair. You can go there for all the Face it Facts on it, right now I'll let the self proclaimed God have his fit.

August 16th, 2011.     Placed the cat nip down for that rotten cat. Left a long trail for him to follow. Drazin knew as he got closer, he'd be hanging from the end of a rope. Drazin reveled in the notion of having Drazin's new cat slippers. The bushes were prickly as Drazin waited, but the nagging pain was bearable for a God of Drazin's stature. As Drazin saw those two cats coming, lapping up the cat nip, Drazin crouched down and waited.

Drazin
Thought he was brazen
Really the mind of a raisin
Getting me high on cat nip
Hoping Cassie and I would take a dip
Not knowing we smelled his stench
After our cat nip need got quenched
We'd leaving him hanging
His mouth banging
Upside down
With a frown
Drazin

August 16th, 2011.     As Drazin's new slippers came that much closer to reality, Drazin 's eyes emitted a glow from the bushes. Drazin guesses that is what gave Drazin away. Oh the powers of a God can be such a curse at times. As Drazin began cursing those cats with words Drazin doesn't care to write. But Drazin will have Drazin's day and those cats will pay.

Wow Mr. God you can really swear
While your hanging upside down there
I guess your trap was unwise
Just like your fake Godly disguise

Now Cassie don't berate this God so much
Even though with reality he's out of touch
As he might turn the rope around
And hanged he may be found

Wait would that work
With one quick jerk
His ego would break the branch
Leaving no need to stop a stanch

Yeah this fool is too dumb
And then some
To ever be out of our hair
But what should we care

He can't beat us
Although with an ego the size of a bus
We should give him a hand
As up his you know he can pound a lot of sand

August 16th, 2011.     Those two mouthy felines left Drazin hanging upside down, in Drazin's own trap. But that doesn't give the Great God Drazin any despair. As the more they let their guard down, the more chances Drazin will have to strike and get Drazin's cat slippers. As winter is coming and even the feet of a God get cold.

So there we go. I of course took some liberties at my show. But used the idea to weave in and out, this latest shout. From that Drazin mook, who would probably survive a nuke. As I just can't be rid of his hot air and gas, guess I'll have to try harder with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Doesn't This Sound Good? Watch You Should!

Beats me where this came from. I guess I just had to beat this drum. Not the usual movie fun, but needed to be done.

Brand new on your screen
A movie like any other
Sucking in the teens with over bloated scenes
Yet still trying to appeal to your mother

Brand new on your screen
A movie you've already viewed
As before it even starts, you've seen the best parts
So out of your money you've been screwed

You curse the preview clip
For the inflated hype
But you get a grip
As your bathroom break saved on bum wipe

Brand new on your screen
Wow it's in 3d
Newly converted, looking so perverted 
You'll forget they charged a larger fee

You still might get a thrill
When they talk all kiddie
As PG trumps free will
Causing shhhhirt to make you giddy

Brand new on your screen
A 200 million dollar flick
With half to the poster face inflating his ego base
Along with paying to bronze his dick

Brand new on your screen
The DVD with bonus features
Each cost a dime to make but your wallet they break
Those real life greed sticken creatures

Brand new on your screen
Sequel number two
Barely rehearsed and worst than the first
Don't worry in five years they'll be a redo

Barely rehearsed and worst than the first
Don't worry in five years they'll be a redo

So that's some fun Face it Facts on all the crap, that seems to keep making the movie lap. But it's one big continuous circle we're stuck in, making us stuck in the garbage bin. But never fear, as with any rhyming rant or cheer, you won't find any PG here, at least usually when you come to peer. As I will remain crass, with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

This dVerse Could Annoy, Oh Joy!

Beware after this one you might need cardiopulmonary resuscitation, like you were just hit with electromagnetic radiation. As I came up with this rhyme industrialization last week with my own dVerse denationalization. So as you try your reconciliation, A Not So New World might leave you with some diversification. NOTE: Pat's book is to download online, so no shipping, waiting or any other crap in line. Just in case some feel abused or a tad confused.

So with that out of the way, on with the mind bending stuff that will cause dismay.

Ummm Exclamation?

In came the misappropriation
Or was it misinterpretation
Maybe just a generalization
Caused by some disorganization

Guess we should try experimentation
Could lead to hospitalization
Or some type of detoxification
Side effect equals disorientation

Don't I have quite the characterization
In my own categorization
That deserves some capitalization
Or a little intensification

Spelled fully with no abbreviation
As I get my rhyme accreditation
Sticking it to the administration
Boy does that bring gratification

Would you like a modification
From my over dramatization
Through my all rhyming discrimination
Don't worry it won't become globalization

That would just be an exaggeration
But one could use their imagination
And give consideration
To such a socialization

I bet there would be retaliation
From such a purification
So rhymes should remain in privatization
So language doesn't suffer obliteration

As it's good as an infatuation
Not an over glorification
Leading to some investigation
And to my elimination

I wouldn't even want an illustration
Of such a fabrication
So don't make an allegation
Just ignore my aggravation

Or enjoy the demonstration
With my rhyming exploration
Leaving your head in fluctuation
Thanks to my presentation

Some words my suffer mutilation
Upon reading in syndication
But it causes me no perspiration
Even with a Grammar Nazi's valuation

Damn I caused your brain inflammation
Beats a bout of constipation
At least in my estimation
Both could cause devastation

But you can have a celebration
As my rhymes will never suffer a cancellation
Or a liquidation
One day I may need some lubrication

But that's just speculation
Maybe I'll just need a vaccination
So there is no dissipation
Or a single complication

Probably soon time for a summation
As I leave you in frustration
You may give me a citation
For this rhyming narration

But sadly it has become your fixation
Even if I'm full of inflation
You like my rhyming flirtation
Here at my location

So enjoy the sensation
For the whole duration
Don't curse me to damnation
As I need hydration

Yes I'm finished the foundation
Time to go on a days vacation
Before you go into sedation
And the cat turns into a dalmatian

Wasn't this a fun dictation
Or maybe just a fun formation
Here at my dVerse rhyming rotation
And so ends this little creation

So the only Face it Facts I have on that, is it was an idea thought up by the cat and I just rolled with the gravitation, coming to a realization. That upon examination this was quite the instrumentation. I hope you suffered some illumination and it didn't ruffle your so called sophistication. Now go into rhyming decontamination as rhyming all the time might come across as insubordination. Damn today the tion words did amass, popping out from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, August 15, 2011

A Novel Idea, STRAT It Doesn't Rhyme I Fear!

So here are some Face it Facts you didn't know, about the last month or so. Pat and the cat have been fighting over the computer every day, as of course I wanted to just rhyme away. But Pat had other ideas and decided to shift gears. But the little strat didn't rhyme, not on purpose one single solitary time. For that the cat can never forgive, but I guess I have to live and let live. As his little endeavor turned out rather well, as he rang the novel bell.

Today is the launch as it's done and up, so today to Pat I tip my cup. As on a chair you might soon find yourself curled, with A Not So New World.

So I guess after all that work I'll give him a plug and a HUGE thanks to Betsy for taking the time away from her rug. To edit and give feedback on the book, as it kept her on the hook. As she helped make it even better for sure and nope it's not at my floor.

As Pat even made his own site for it, pathattbooks one should give a hit. Yes notice the plural there, as that may be the first over at his fair. But 20 more are to come, so for a long while he'll be harrassing my little rhyming bum. I guess we'll have to learn to share, that I might not be able to bear. But the cat has heard that it is good, so take a look you should.

Also not a bad site, which Pat did in one afternoon at work and a little that night. So have a look or two, as it's nothing like my rhyming zoo. I know the shame, how can he not play the rhyming game? But that doesn't mean one won't enjoy, A Not So New World and no I'm not being coy. So feel free to go there and trespass, as it's really a far cry from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

dVerse And Lean, This Urban Scene!

So had a minute or two and came up with this after visiting the dVerse crew. Yeah I had a moment to come up for air, so of course went all urban in my typical rhyming flare. But not in the called out way, so I guess more dVerse today.

The walls, painted clown
The people, grumble, mumble, frown
The towers mystic glow
Calling those that know

Blinding mice, circling staircase
Crushing bugs at stranded base
Light hides darkness about
Darkness hides lights route

Inviting through "Welcome" entry
Home of "such and such" complimentary
Stricken vermin quickening haste
Delighted through added waste

Ceiling tiles withered creases
Melted glue, hardened pieces
Bull rising ever higher
Next advancement must acquire

Glass smashing, head gashed
Sharded trench, memory flashed
Speed hastens towards demise
Mice cured for cement cries

Scatter from barreling path
Eagerly awaiting imminent wrath
Ego ballooned intervened fate
Collision averted, stars collate

Twinkle gropes minds eye
Vastly towering in heightening fly
Dread slips "Exiting" found
Harking back "Joyous" ground

So that was the Face it Facts that came out, when I followed through on Claudia's dVerse shout. Guess when in Rome wouldn't apply, as I think off on a whole other planet I began to fly. But what pops in my head pops in, maybe I should get that made into a pin. Now I've got some mice to go harass, so that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Time for a Cat Call, You're Sure To Have A Ball!

So I guess it's time for some Face it Facts on me, here at my rhyming sea. One has to be beaten with a rock and then living in a sock, to not know the cat rhymes. With many, many chimes. But it was brought up a while back, as Pat made some wisecrack over at Betsy's place about all the noises that come out of my face. So let's see how many I can say, in my usual rhyming way.

First there is they typical meow, of course any one can do that, even a cow. So I guess that makes one, yeah that's easy and no fun. But it gets me what I want, so I use it once in a while to taunt.

Next up there is my half meow, half crunch thingy when I eat, it does have quite the interesting beat. But that is only if I really like the food, if it's blah I'll curl my nose up, try to bury it, and then run away thinking how rude.

Oh and I even have my own digging meow. When I dig in the litter and take a bow. I meow my head off as I dig, but then concentrate as sometimes my movements are big. I'd say it's of a higher pitch and Pat knows when I'm going in my litter ditch.

Then if there is a high spot I want to jump too, I let out some weird groan between me and you. It sounds like more of a bellow and with it I can sorta sound like some human fellow.

Of course there is the typical purr, when I allow one to brush my fur. But I'm special as I drool a bit, yeah it's nasty and you humans would have a fit.

Also besides the normal hiss, when I'm telling all those other cats what to kiss, I have a really shrieky one. As those cats are just no fun. When they get close I swat them back and do some weird shrieky growl thing going on the attack.

I also can do a growl and meow at the same time, it doesn't really rhyme, but it makes those other ones run away and allows me to have a nice day.

I can hiccup in my sleep too, I do quite a few. But at least I don't snore, that be bad as Pat would push me on the floor.

Of course whenever I get a new toy, I have to kill it and enjoy. So I act like I real wild cat, yanking it from Pat and growling as I chew it up. Yes I know I sound like a butt sniffing pup.

I can give a meek meow like a mouse, if something is interesting yet scary in my house. Then I sneak right up to it all crouched low and if it moves I spring a good five feet backwards just so you know. Oh and if you are in my way, you may mistakenly get a big scratch causing dismay.

I also have a playing in water one, it's a gurgle and meow crossed noise until I'm done. Yeah I'm a cat that plays in the bath tub, you have a problem with that bub?

Then there is the really really weird one, that I only do at night on special occasions for fun. I chirp like a bird, yep that's the right word. Pat once woke up in a huff, thinking a bird got in and was flying over stuff. When really it was just me, maybe I just wanted a light on to see. It's one of those continuous annoying chirps too, like one of those nonstop cell phone ring tones had by a few.

I think that's all for me, Cassie makes a few too but I'll ignore miss priss today at my sea. As she can't make as many as me, maybe that's why she always swats me off the cat tree. Oh well at least now you know when you pass, what each noise means when it comes out of my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

OK Brian I'll Give It A Try, But You Know The Cat Is One Mouthy Guy!

So lets see if I can get the Face it Facts right in this little game, as I try to remain tame and do a 55 word story thing. Oh pain this could bring. As I have to shut my yap, once I hit the 55 word trap. But look I got exactly 55 in rhyme, with my 55 word dime. So here I go, psssst this part doesn't count just so you know.

55: Oops

Bleach fumes encompassed the hairs of my nose.
I saw a guy wearing a radioactive suit for clothes.
I received a dirty look as he cleaned.
He seemed to be the source, that dastardly fiend.

I shrugged saying I thought it was gas. 
I never knew anything would actually come out my little rhyming ass.


Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Dirty Human Did It, So No Google Fit!

As if Google hasn't stuck their over sized nose into every ones business already, now they are going to make sure you go slow and steady. Their precious robot car, after traveling near and far, had it's first big break. I wish they would drive this into a lake. But oops wasn't the cars fault, so no need to break the Google vault. As it was all the humans doing, least that's the idea that's brewing.

This makes me think planking is a good idea, that just strikes fear. Having Google make a computer that controls how you drive. I'd rather stick my head in a bee hive. Also isn't it rather convenient that the human did it, so they can use it to increase PR for the computer a bit.

No wonder there is so much money crap going on, people wasting it on garbage like this from dusk until dawn. Could take 10% of that and train people a little more and they could be better than before. I know some will still drive like idiots though, no matter if they are going fast or slow. But still the day I let a computer drive me, as the day I buy a boat and go live on the sea.

Oh wait that would probably be computer controlled too, maybe I'll go live in a zoo, with the new robot animals or something. Oh annoyance this does bring. But wait the insurance people will fall in love and they'll flutter around like a dove. As now the computer will make less payouts, guaranteed Google will get kick backs from their happy shouts.

Disgusting indeed, I hope Google's bank account starts to bleed and all the money goes by by, letting this stupid car idea fry. But the chances of that are nil, so guess one day we'll get our fill, of all these robot cars. Just think of all the drunks that will use it as an excuse not to get thrown behind bars.

Oh look a car is coming the other way and it's swerving on the icy road to my dismay. But I can pull over as the computer won't let me, so poof I get hit like a tree. Or someone runs out in front of the car and the computer can't see that far, poof dead human one or two because the stupid thing still can't stop on cue.

So if you want more of the Face it Facts on this junk, can find the story about this foul smelling skunk by clicking here, although warning it does strike fear. Now that was just another rant with some sass, from my ever ranting little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Not So dVerse, All Rhymes Don't Curse!

So by not being dVerse, should I hit reverse? Am I sounding too perverse? As in my rhymes you immerse. Oh now I deserve a curse, but I will still converse. So don't disperse, although I might allow you to disburse. Would that be the inverse? So what if my direction is adverse. So before you fit me for a hearse, here is Mr. Linky's wanted verse.

Rehearse, Reimburse = Fabrication, Inflation

Bleak approach benign
Cacique broach design
Oblique encroch align
Antique reproach enshrine

Muffled typhoon embrace
Shuffled lampoon race
Ruffled maroon interlace
Scuffled monsoon trace

Sinks confess lapse
Jinx digress flaps
Links bless collapse
Blinks regress relapse

Gaze critical misread
Amaze hypercritical impede
Craze analytical stampede
Phrase political mislead

Stain plasma immersed
Reign misasma submersed
Drain plasma dispersed
Attain asthma thirst

Accusation stream wield
Castration extreme yield
Manifestation regime sealed
Nullification esteem concealed

Abrasion stilt crass
Persuasion guilt amass
Evasion quilt glass
Invasion built harass

Fluorescent beyond reliance
Incandescent abscond alliance
Quiescent correspond compliance
Incessant respond defiance

Now I'm not even going to guess the Face it Facts on that, as off went the cat. On another all rhyming rant, here at my rhyming plant. A few simple words and off I went like the birds. My rhyming is as shiny as brass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Getting All Touchy Feely, OK Not Really!

Wouldn't it be nice if things didn't magically move, like they have their own groove. Mr. Pen seems to always disappear, while other crap gets mixed with other gear. As all touchy some can be, when I'm not there to see. Yet with my memory I know, when things move an inch or get up and go. So a little payback I decided to play, plus to keep those nasty germs away. By the sounds of it, I may have just caused a bit of a fit. Oh but doesn't that make me grin, when I'm not there I still win.

Off I go for a few weeks
Avoiding climbing any work peaks
When the fun starts
And desk things magically grow moving parts

But I've been down this road before
So this time it was war
Saving up some junk
That didn't work in some funk

All in a bottom drawer
Or in a box on the floor
Where no one could see
My junk saving spree

Aww but what was the point
To make a nose or two go out of joint
Plus you can keep your germs
Now you know my terms

As you take my pen
But where's the other ten
Oh well it's here and you will use
Shake, shake, shake damn it no ink will ooze

Wait it's all out
Oh but there is no doubt
These drawers have some hidden away
Yank, yank, yank, damn they won't open today

Their locked where's the key
Oops forget I took it with me
Leaving my pens in one place
And no germs I have to erase

You need a staple quick
Push, push, push is this some kind of trick
Then damn thing is empty too
Shouldn't there at least be a few

But oh the tape gun has to work
Lets give it a good jerk
Damn it a two inch piece is left
Can't even do some sensible theft

Yippee the highlighter works though
Damn it after a line or two it doesn't show
You have to sit in the chair
Whack, ewww eeee ahhh, the pain you can't bear

Why is it up so high
You whacked you knee thanks to that guy
For something clean it's sure a danger
At least the postage machine isn't a stranger

Error, error, error call for service
Now your getting nervous
Nothing works in his square
You're going to pull out your hair

You'll phone your shrink
What no signal damn it, clink
Guess you should have stayed in your own space
You will leave a note telling him to replace

What not even a sticky
So clean it's icky
Hell with this
Your desk you miss

So the moral of the story is, if you want people out of your biz, save up some junk, hide the good stuff in a trunk and let them play with the crap and pretty soon their "using your things and leaving it everywhere" routine will snap. Don't you like those Face it Facts and how I can think ahead with my dirty little acts. Now crap will once again start to amass, for the next time I want to sit at home on my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, August 7, 2011

Nothing I Say Here Can Prepare You, Or Maybe I Just Don't Want To!

So the TV people are whining that they haven't got one, like my oh so much movie fun. I guess now's the time to appease and give the TV Face it Facts a squeeze. Yes I know all this crap in my head is such a curse, but I suppose it could be worse.

Although any reality TV crap, will not get a clap, or a call, as I'll send that for one big fall. I'll bury it in a grave so deep, that no one will ever hear a peep. From such and a such a person who seeks fame, walking down the street, acting so big, when really they are just lame. But who is the bigger baffoon? The one doing it like a loon? Or the ones who actually watch this drivel, causing their brains to shrivel? Oops did I offend, sorry that part I can't amend.

Oh wait I couldn't offend those guys any way, as just look at the time of day. The Hulk Hogan show is on, oh wait is he long gone? I meant some pee wee herman thing or some other bimbo who can't sing. I guess they really must thank God for machines, helping to better their routines. Damn I really went off there, I didn't mean to, I swear.

So as they watch 24 hours a day
The crap I wish Buffy the Vampire Slayer would slay
Watching another's Life from bed
Mozing along like The Walking Dead

I've already crossed the Threshold
Taking a Quantum Leap that's bold
Moonlighting as a rhyming nut
Until Day Break comes and I leave my hut

Going by another Alias to work
In Plain Sight I still lurk
Avoiding germs like Monk
Getting Lost in everyday junk

Counting Numb3rs everywhere
Saved by the Bell and outta there
Royal Pains in by behind
Something The X-files might have to find

Least I can avoid Warehouse 13
I'm Justified in thinking that place is mean
Californication be scary too
As The 4400 or so there might sue

Maybe Las Vegas is the place to be
That C.S.I. crew I wouldn't want to see
As they'd be looking at my Bones
And I could here Angel moans

As I go to The Dead Zone
I'll avoid going Due South and stay on my throne
As Dexter could slash me up
Even with Kung Fu that be a hiccup

The Magnificent Seven
With The Lone Gunman make eleven
That might be enough to stage a Prison Break
Psych they just went to fish in the lake

Smallville might be nice
I could pass through Roswell twice
Might see something Supernatural there
Stargate type aliens would make me swear

They'd cause Tremors all over the place
War of the Worlds we might face
Could run away on Battlestar Galactica though
Or find Sanctuary and not go

Eureka that's it
Chuck could have a fit
We could get the Early Edition
And send Dark Angel out on a mission

With the Gargoyles too
We'd have a Full House before we're through
Might be a few Growing Pains
La Femme Nikita could pop some veins

Those White Collar guys might get killed
Xena Warrior Princess might be thrilled
Unless Family Matters
Then the Heroes will make sure nothing shatters

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia they say
Jeremiah told me as he came by my way
Must be hot under those Friday Night Lights
Supposedly Castle bites

Have I Charmed you yet
You're right on the Fringe I bet
Just let those Happy Days come
Don't JAG your bum

Ooops I meant drag like Bossum Buddies
While the Relice Hunter studies
As The Pretender you could be
Joining MI:5 or maybe three

Martin would be doomed for sure
Those in NYPD Blue might give you a tour
That be a Spin City
The Shield would show no pity

Sliders might whip on by
Or Veronica Mars or some other guy
Giving you some True Blood
White Fang would bite you and it'd go thud

Wait Whose Line is it Anyway
Maybe NCIS will tell me what to say
As I go by Jericho at high speed
I can't let The Dukes of Hazzard get the lead

The Waltons would get mad
A Diagnosis Murder would be bad
Damages might ensue
And a Burn Notice might haunt you

Sending you to the Amazon
Watching a Firefly pull a con
Until some Invasion occured
After Tales of the Golden Monkey were heard

Hercules The Legendary Journeys you'd join
After joining Ducktales and stealing some coin
Going past Petticoat Junction
And some Green Acres Function

With Magnum P.I. on your tail
After your Mork and Mindy lunch pail
Such Criminal Minds after you
Yes what Seinfeld said is true

No Home Improvement here
Or some All in the Family cheer
Just the Facts of Life I fear
And as The Fresh Prince of Bel Air draws near

Breaking Bad I won't become
Or The Beverly Hillbillies might get glum
So as Bewitched as I may seem
Like I'm part of The A Team

I Dream of Jeannie never
The Brady Bunch however
Those Rugrats have some history
Isn't that just a Scooby Doo mystery

And so I hear The Jeffersons call
The Wonder Years are beginning to fall
Columbo is about to give a summation
And so ends my Perry Mason like narration

Or would that be Matlock
Bet Hunter is taking stock
Ready to go all Walker, Texas Ranger on me
Bah I have to stop as Gunsmoke is blocking my TV

Well I didn't really think I had that many in my head, had many more but some you'd dread. Plus wouldn't want you to waste your day, thinking this is reality TV as that'd cause dismay. Yeah most wouldn't fall for that, if you do fly away from my mat. You know the traps that are around if you trespass, so don't test my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.