Monday, October 31, 2011

The Exciting Conclusion! There Will Be No Confusion!

Part two of the frightful quest of the cat and all those left alive that visit his mat. Who will live and who will die? Who the hell is this cocky voice guy? I bet I know who your are thinking it is, him and his godly biz. We shall see and now that is enough out of me.

****************************************

At first I thought Mama Zen really did have powers, as the floor continued its showers, because she stood on nothing at all. When Indiana Jones I did recall and knew it was some stupid mirror trick. Thank God for that flick. I jumped over beside her and curled up my fur, as everyone followed suit, Fox almost stomped me with his boot.

Nothing but spikes were seen all around, besides all the bodies that fell down and began to compound. A light shined down from above and a rope dropped down, to which no one was showing any love. It smelled like a trap. I wish Gizmo had left us an app map. Another door opened up from an adjacent wall and I wasted no time jumping for that, making it and ducking down to a crawl.

Fred smelled books from the trap door above and that made him give it some love. No idea how he smelled the books, but he climbed up fearing no hooks. He got to the top feeling right at home. I hear his lips even began to foam, as he was surrounded by a library filled to the brim. He shouted down saying things were no longer grim.

Some looked at me and I was not about to move any further in. This voice was not going to win. Dezmond climbed up first, still chasing his exclusive thirst. Then Eliza and Mama Zen climbed on up and made it without a hiccup. LMF went up next and I guess I will have to take over her school of text. Let's just say little miss fun was ummm well done. For the rope caught fire and things became dire. She burned to a crisp quick and I must say death aside, this voice sure had a neat trick. Of course he was a nut and sick but his freaky crap was kind of slick.

Slamdunk jumped on over with me and he could not stop as slick as a kitty. So he stumbled through the door frame and into the room, bringing on his doom. Arrows flew from the wall from side to side and so many hit him he instantly died.

I did my normal cat routine and ducked down below the arrow scene, finding a lever to pull and finally stopped this arrow bull. Fox, Betsy and Brian jumped on over and Fox pretended he tripped like some rover. Falling on Betsy to hold himself up. Yeah I know! Such a love sick pup.

Fred's worst nightmare had come true. The books came alive and tried to smite the crew. Mama Zen had no need for her chi and just decided to flee. Eliza and Dezmond followed suit, Fred eventually did becoming quite ticked off at this voice brute. They slammed the door shut and held it closed with their back and butt, making sure no books knocked it down and went flying across town.

Of course "cough" stalker "cough" watcher Brian noticed everything and a light bulb appeared above his head as his brain went ding. He pointed out how there had to be another exit in here, so the arrows could be shot out by our great puppeteer. We scoured the room and Betsy even picked up a broom. Apparently there was dust that left her in disgust.

Fox had his Grammar Nazi skills at play and noticed a word on the wall was not spelled the right way. He gave a rather snarky remark and put the letters in their right arc. As he finished straightening them all nice and neat. The wall turned around and caught Fox by his feet. He went around with it and disappeared. I hoped the voice did not try and shave off his beard.

I could not reach so Betsy and Brian tried to repeat. But it appeared to be an unattainable feat. I hoped these guys were better repo people than door openers. Boy, did we need the Ghostbusters.

The books stopped clamoring and the group let go of the door, slowly moving across the floor. Mama Zen fell through a rotten board and dangled there while Dezmond wrote everything down with such flair. Fred helped her up and she screamed "Duck!" as they were being shot at by hockey puck after hockey puck.

Elisa dodged one just in time, yet Dezmond was too busy writing and could not move on a dime. He got cracked upside the head as the other three fled and his body the hockey pucks began to shred. Poor Dezmond was now dead.

The cat had a plan and although no one, not even I, was a fan, I made Betsy and Brian get down on the floor and I hit the lever once more. The arrows began flying about all over the place and we all lied flat on our face. With nothing in the way they shredded the far side wall and we could hear freedom's call. Plus that stupid voice saying we cheated. He was becoming a little heated.

I flicked the lever with my tail and we all were glad the wall was so frail. But one arrow still came out and Brian and I heard a shout. It stuck to Betsy's back, yet seemed to cause her little flack. It fell off and her back was all healed up. She did not even give a hiccup.

"Petsy!" I shouted as Brian could not believe his eyes. For Betsy had been telling little white lies. Seems she was not seeking the Fountain of Youth after all because she already found it at her hall. I guess it does more than reduce age. That thing surely is all the rage.

We got outside and a shadow figure approached us from behind. In the moonlight his face did show and all I could think was "sick" in my mind. Seems Brian had the same look, but Betsy was oddly reminded of her nook.

Eliza realized they were in a loo and knew that would not do. If anyone died there the cat would never let them live that down, especially if killed by something brown. She took the back off the toilet and Mama Zen took the other one, leaving Fred with none. So he got creative and stood up on a urinal jumping up and down. It came off and he picked it up, thankfully not wearing it like a crown.

They left the bathroom and Fred went out first, using the urinal like a shield to block the hockey puck burst. Mama Zen and Eliza batted them back and from their use of toilet stuff to attack, they noticed the wall which they were heading to had begun to crack. Fred being sharp as a tack, ran at the wall and let go of the urinal sending it hurdling in the air down the hall. It stopped the pucks and barreled right through, knocking the wall down and they smiled as the outside came into view.

The flying pucks seemed to stop and all looked down not caring about the drop. They jumped out at the same time and thankfully were still in their prime. Although Fred stepped in something eww and looked at the bottom of his shoe. It was orange not brown, the three wondered what could one eat down to make that and then they saw Betsy, Brian and the cat.

They joined us and were as disturbed as Brian and I, Betsy for some reason still seemed to like the thing, no lie. For standing before us all pink and fluffy, the creator of this little huffy, the one who sent the troll out for money, was the frigging Easter Bunny.

He ranted about no longer wanting to be cute and furry tired of delivering eggs that looked like poo to those whose vision was blurry. He wanted to take over Halloween and be oh so mean. So he had a troll collect money for his cause and made this ruckus to get known as a bad ass. He stood all smug awaiting an applause from those around his mass.

We all tried to ring his neck and like something out of Star Trek, he waved his hand and we could no longer stand. He wanted us to bow and showed off his power by making the house go pow. It blew to pieces and flew all around. I barely raised my head and Natasha was found. She stood there looking rather pissed, I guess this house she was about to list. Personally I think he did her a favor. This house would have needed inspection waver after waver.

But why was she standing in the middle of the road? How did she get out of her zip code? She did not appear inside with the rest and then I smiled as all the answers were filled in on my test. A pair of headlights snapped on and let's say the Easter Bunny became a smudge on the lawn. Fox borrowed Natasha's car and rammed it up the Easter's Bunny's ass. He backed up and over him several times shouting things that were a tad crass.

Fox stepped out all glad. Remind me never to make him mad. Then from the Easter Bunny smudge came a glow and within seconds everyone, living and dead, were back at their show. I guess time reset itself when the Easter Bunny lost and Fox left his smudge sucking exhaust.

So for those that were dead, do not worry your pretty little head. I think all memories were wiped too, except for some reason my mind still has them firmly in view. Could be a felines is different or simply my mind is vast so the tale will last. Dezmond if you still want the scoop here it is. Although I'm sure some might not believe this Easter Bunny biz.

I have no idea what will happen on Easter though. Who knows? Maybe Cupid will show. So if for some reason you remember highlights like the stain left on the grass, you now know the full story thanks to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 30, 2011

Poor dVerse Just Had To Know, That The Nuts Would Show!

Bet you thought it would be part two today! hahaha not Halloween yet so I still get to cause a little dismay! Plus blame dVerse if the cliffhanger you're stuck in still makes you curse. They brought this about. Had to be given a shout.

Sun goes down and Drazin will have his slippers
Hey Gung aren't these some nice strippers?
Yeah Ho we're rocking this town tonight.
I wish the godly mook would get over his plight.

"Drazin stalked the cats as they walked the streets."
Thou has some rather impressive feats.
I bet he thinks we don't see him.
Yeah the mook is kind of dim.

Step right up as I take out the man.
Riot sure needs a tan.
Ho, what's that noise?
Look Gung it's all the regular boys.

"The group joined as one once more."
Thou art supposed to be behind a closed door.
Arthur tell Pat to bite us.
Here comes the mook on the short bus.

Drazin will have the slippers now!
Sorry mook! Go milk a dairy cow.
Get out of Riots view.
He's going all third person now too.

Look Ho it's the strippers again.
Gung there is now ten.
I think we better run.
"The group watched as witches ascended upon their fun."

At the rise of the moon,
We will have you dancing to our tune.
In our stew you will go,
And you're lives will drain slow.

Drazin isn't going to take this crap!
"The godly one continued to yap."
Leave thy sight wenches.
I think we better let them handle the trenches.

None of you will leave,
That you must believe.
For we witches ten.
Love to chow down on men.

Good thing we're cats so time to scat,
We'll take Arthur because he's a nutty Pat.
Gung and Ho are all yours.
The voiceover guy will do your chores.

Riotman can kick over your pot,
And the god can do a  good third person trot.
Shut up cats!
See you can have the ugly rats.

You all will fall at our might,
Just gaze into our sight.
Drazin will clobber your ugly ass.
Doesn't the god have such class?

"The witches surrounded the group."
"Their eyes began to droop."
"They chanted as they spun,"
"Thinking they had won."

All is lost for you tonight,
We stand here quite the sight.
Gung, I think they mean quite the fright.
Yeah Ho, the strippers need to hop a broom and take flight.

Shut up! You crew will bow to us from just a look.
Fleabags! Drazin will have to let you off the hook.
Drazin is going to take out these clowns first.
"The witches looked about ready to quench their thirst."

We say look into our eyes,
Know all else you see to be lies.
We are your one true thrill,
Sometimes we even take a dollar bill.

I guess they can multi task Gung,
Think they can do things with their tongue?
"The witches stared on and became quite upset,"
"Their tactics did not even make this group sweat."

That's right you old wench King Arthur is upon you.
Pat, you need to tone the Arthur thing down a notch or two.
Bah, let him go Miss Priss,
Okay fleabags get ready to hiss.

"The group scattered at each of the witches."
"I guess their eyes were having glitches."
"For their bell was rather rung."
And Gung is rather hung.

Riotman liked taking care of those,
They were quite the scary hoes.
Now where was Drazin,
Explaining what it's like to have a brain the size of a raisin.

You fleabags will become slippers soon.
Right! See ya later godly loon.
And Ho is rather slow, in the know, oh let's go.
I too shall retire to the castle from fighting with that crow.

Sure Pat whatever you say.
Let's be on our way.
Drazin will have Drazin's slippers fleabags.
Maybe you should get some rags.

Riotman still wants to take on the man,
And you still need a tan.
"Cassie shouted as they ran away."
"And Drazin swore he would have his day."

There we go, had to do it for the dVerse show. The Face it Facts are these mooks keep coming about and they all worked well for my shout. Although they may confuse, except with Drazin's third person act as he goes to abuse. That you will always know, when the so called godly mook is at my show. Now I just need a singing bass and then the crazy characters will be complete that visit my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Everyone Took A Stroll Because Of A Troll!

So the cat was all hunkered down with the lights low, practicing my hiding and peeking out the window. For I knew Halloween night was coming and around will come all those kids bumming. The cat does not like company at bush number three. It is just too bad the nuts keep falling like leaves off a tree.

A rapid knocking came at the door, with a voice that sung out across the floor. I had enough of this thing when the buzzer he began to ring. So I opened the door with a bat, ready to make him go splat. There stood one ugly troll, who went on about some toll.

"Pay the troll a hefty toll or be forced to watch as all die and leave you my little four legged guy."

Riiiight! I slammed the door in his face not even saying good night. Then I started to shine and things were no longer fine. It was so bright I closed my eyes. Looking back a word to the wise, don't piss off a troll, it is not a lofty goal.

I opened them up and there I was in a house. The thing was not even livable enough for a mouse. It smelled so rank and even had a rotted fish tank. The floor creaked at every turn and my nostrils were really starting to burn. But before I could take it all in, I scattered as glowing things started appearing all over this huge garbage bin.

They looked as confused as I and some even started to cry. I guess they said no to the troll as well and he damned us all to this hell. Yet through the crowd I saw a familiar few and figured this could not be true. As soon as Daydreamer said "bloody wanker" out loud. I knew I was seeing some of the usual crowd.

Bersercules was going well berserk on the door. It seemed to be stuck and that is when things got worse by a whole lot more. It seems with all his slamming and damning the floor below him gave way causing all to pray. For he was impaled by a spike, something very few seemed to like. Except one overbearing voice who said "We have no choice. We refused to pay the toll now escaping with our lives was the goal. Have fun! It has begun."

Brian and Betsy began to repo the door, watching carefully not to fall through the floor. Eliza shouted for her brother to show himself right now! I guess she thought it was a prank some how. LMF was also quite the talker, she kept yelling about some stalker.

Waffles kept asking if there were any jobs around, while DWei was asleep on the ground. Mama Zen was trying to keep her zen centered in all the chaos and I love weed was as high as an albatross. Hank was limericking us to death, while D4, Gareth and Sub Rader refused to waste their breath. They set up their tunes trying to block out the wails sounding like creatures from the black lagoons.

Gizmo kept trying to find an app to get back home. My Maniacal Mind was crazy and thought all of this was some dream dome. LOLA said the word that rhymes with duck more times than I could count, let's just say it was a triple digit amount.

Slamdunk analyzed the Bersercules crime scene and The Fox looked rather mean. Those Irish mafia days sure could come in handy. So having him was quite dandy. Dezmond was crying out for the full scoop trying to get an exclusive from anyone in the group. Then there was Fred. Poor Fred who seemed to had lost his head. Without his dictionary collection around, his words just could not seem to be found.

The rest of the strangers also seemed to be quite fearful of the dangers. All anyone was doing was yapping, I guess that's why with LOLA and her bad language flapping, no one was the wiser until it hit and then they all took a fit. The chandelier came down on her head and poor LOLA was dead.

I backed up into LMF and around she spun. She actually tried to get me with a fire poker, like I was some stalker joker. It's a good thing the cat can jump. It's just too bad Waffles did not notice the hump. He tripped on a bulge in the carpet and fell right into the closet. There a spike went right through his head, poor Waffles was also dead.

Brian and Betsy had given up on the door knob, I guess someone gave it a nose job. For the damn thing just would not open giving little hope. Don't worry I won't tell that when Fox came over he tried for a grope. I figured my best bet was to hide with them, for Fox knew how to sever a brain stem and Brian had his scary mohawk. While Betsy had five men so would not handle any big scary voice back talk.

Fred wandered over to where D4, Gareth and Sub Radar had set up their equipment. I guess he wanted to use Morris code to send for a dictionary shipment. But they would not let him touch their stuff and as he left in a huff, things got kind of rough. It seems the voice had about enough and sparks flew from the tune crew. The voice laughed and said "They are no longer Staying Alive."

Gizmo tried to find an app that could revive while Slamdunks was going nuts over all the crime scenes. I love weed thought he was in the marines. He stormed up the stairs, pretending he was doing it in pairs and as he got mid way up, he was met by a hiccup. A hook swung down from above and let's just say I love weed was no longer feeling the love.

Hank thought he knew what this was and said it in limerick just because. He thought it was a ride from Disneyland and this was all one big fake stand. I knew Pat would reference the April Fool's Day flick and that's when I saw a floating brick. Mama Zen had her chi in focus because she dodged the hocus pocus but poor Hank got one upside the head and after a few more he too was dead.

The voice seemed rather delighted blithering on to all he supposedly invited. Slamdunk had enough of this crime, while Dezmond was scribbling everything down having a grand old time. Eliza finally realized this was not a prank after staring at poor dead Hank. Then as My Maniacal Mind declared this was all a dream, Eliza really let out a scream.

For the voice wanted to see in My Maniacal Mind's head and boom it went, splattering everywhere, now she was dead. Daydreamer simply uttered "bloody hell" and her body fell, in two pieces to either side. I guess that saw blade's purpose was to divide. DWei's face sleeping apparatus moved a bit and then came alive and had a fit. It sucked his brains through his nose and I closed my eyes as some got on his clothes.

The strangers about were getting picked off one by one and Gizmo was trying each app, but he had a ton. He went so fast, because his list was so vast, that he did not notice when one asked "Do you want to play a game?" I know that sounded so lame. But he did not agree and before long some flying saw thing lopped off his knee. It came back around before he could move and let's just say not even an Emperor would want such groove.

All seemed quiet as most were toast and the voice began to boast. Yet there was no exit to be found and the boards on the floor started falling into the ground. Everyone jumped to the side of the wall, as steel doors slammed down blocking the hall. The stairs fell into the ground too and spikes like those that got poor Bersercules were all anyone could view.

TO BE CONTINUED...

For those that are dead you are probably over the dread. But for those that are alive what could be in store? How horrible of me to end it here at my shore. I guess all will have to wait in mass to see what happens to those left alive and my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 28, 2011

I Sure Have The Words! It's The Language Of The Birds!

So Pat has used strat and others in his books and for the cat Snavofebudusehagostratnugotion has gotten me some strange looks. But as the cat was going out in globland. I was reminded that all words were once sand. The Face it Facts are I have already done a few, so why not go ahead and do a whole slew?

Wiggtilme is such a grand word but hurpleti makes one sound absurd. I really want a purtolonie one day. But not an ereption my way. Those things are rather yarmition I hear. Plus they have tradlopop in them I fear.

Are you calling me a haplogono? Doesn't bother my graklome for I just go with the flow. Unlike that Asebronelo thing. I hear it can really sing. But sounds birklaman in tone, sometimes making the poputateca groan.

Fussipit is so fun to say. Those Jipilotins like to hide in the hay. They could help localamie the needle though. So you can wedbolone at your show. That one sounded kind of bad, it might make Oscar Mayer mad.

Blogger is sure blowing a trunholip over the words I spout. Keeps saying wrotliom to me with its shout. Glad the meaning I cannot deem. Maybe it wants to use some vinetato but is all out of cream.

Zuckagale is nice this time of year. Just add a bit of kliporoct to it and all will cheer. They may not know about what. But will be quite miritis in their rut. Have I caused you any sissition yet? If so don't blow a xenipocker and fret. Just sit back and pop a palitock. Just remember to avoid the dipitlips because they might throw a rock.

Praglio, riflogom and dronilin did not have a good showing. So their Snavofebudusehagostratnugotion just was not glowing. I guess I better give you all a nipinass or you might soon halitip my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Stupid Truck Driver! But The Cat Is A Survivor!

When Pat was away at work, outside the door the cat heard someone lurk. I figured it was that Drazin nut, so I got ready to once again kick his butt. But the door opened and I was buried in these curled up, wannabe cookie things. Some stupid truck driver with the brain shuts dropped them off here instead of Colorado Springs.

First of all, was he ever far far away from his destined hall. Secondly, I could barely move in this crap and then the cookie things themselves began to yap. Yes! The stupid things were talking to me, as I crushed them and tried to flee.

"He who throws dirt is losing ground."

You stupid thing! I bury stuff with the dirt I fling.

"A thrilling time is in your immediate future."

When you pop a poison pill, that will give me a thrill.

"The first step to better times is to imagine them."

I imagine you away. See you damn dirty dough you lie with your sad excuse for a cookie tray.

"A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking."

I'm sick and tired of you getting stuck to me feet. But I will never admit defeat.

"The secret of getting ahead is getting started."

I hope you things are not faint hearted because oops I farted.

"Any rough times are behind you."

Good! Now let me out of this crap because after your boring chat I need a nap.

"You are talented in many ways."

Sucking up will do you no good. When I get out of here I am going to burn you like a piece of wood.

"He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at."

I guess you things have that covered, with all the pathetic sayings you have discovered.

"You will inherit some money or a small piece of land."

Now you are trying to buy me off? I won't fall for one of Miss Priss's fake coughs.

"Funny thing about humility. Just when you think you've got it, you've lost it."

I guess then you are completely out to lunch. You must have drank too much fruit punch.

"A secret admirer will soon send you a sign of affection."

You want to stalk me now? That was not a happy meow.

"The one you love is closer than you think."

It's not going to work. So shut up you jerk.

I am free. No more of your blithering for me.

"When you are nothing but crummy dough. Beware your own hot air, as you may just fly out the window!"

I grabbed Miss Priss and made her turn on the fan. We pushed the thing toward the dough clan. I leaped up to the door and pushed it open, as the crushed dough and their stupid messages went flying across the floor. The whole mess blew away and the Face it Facts are simply what stupid messages they convey.

So to the dough I have one thing left to say, just in case that stupid stuff ever gets dumped again my way. When you sound like nothing more then the passing of gas, you will always be blown away by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The Cat Could Not Sleep! Pat's Alarm Clock Kept Going Beep!

The damn thing Shook Me All Night Long. Some American Woman would not let me be, which is so wrong. I was a Basket Case and Running On Empty at my place. So it was time I took the Rockin Robin alarm clock and went all Cold Hard Bitch on Mr. Tick Tock.

It just had to Ramble On. So I was going to pitch it and its La Bamba out on the lawn. Especially after it called me a Tutti Fruitti with its Shout. That so called Wild Thing was going to pout. Tiny Teddy felt my wrath, when the Cats in the Cradle set forth on their path.

Time of Your Life was not in store for it because I was Bad to the Bone with my fit. I pulled the plug on Run Around Sue with a yank, proving I Stir It Up and this was no prank. But the damn thing asked Who Are You? It kept on with its Yakkety Yak turning me blue.

I was sick of this Travelin Band but it said You've Got to Kick a Little which I found grand. For this thing was on the Highway to Hell. No matter if it was having Love in an Elevator, I was going to ring its bell. It shouted Rescue Me and Let it Ride. But I was Taking Care of Business and it was not going to break my stride.

Although People Are Strange I will agree. That's Life though at my sea. Tweeter and The Monkey Man can go to Katmandu. But still there will be no Blaze of Glory for you. I Want You To Want Me won't work. You're Voodoo Thing is keeping me awake jerk!

I'll be singing Jailhouse Rock you say? But I'm a Renegade and will bury you down Copper Head Road way. No matter your threats I Won't Back Down. So send Wooly Bully to chase me across town. It will soon be Movin' On and you will Thunderstruck come dawn.

That Old Time Rock n Roll won't stop us from going Side by Side for a stroll. So you can Get Off My Back. Lets Work Together so I can finish this attack. That Neutron Dance doesn't impress me. You're Still The One I'm going to bury.

You suck at Kung Fu Fighting and Standing Outside The Fire makes for great lighting. I Walk The Line and I Fought The Law and won just fine. For I've Got Friends in Low Places and you've entered a Danger Zone but It's All Been Done Before at the races.

Let It Be and call Barbaranne because Life is a Highway and I'm not a fan. Time we Hit the Road Jack. Hey Ho, Lets Go on the attack. You will no longer see the California Sun or have Somebody to Love. That Fat Bottom Girl will mourn you with a white dove.

I Would Walk 500 Miles to be rid of you. No New Attitude is due. Eww! Don't Talk Dirty To Me. I'm not a Little Bitty Pretty One for you to see. So sing your Dowaddidy, your Hippy Hippy Shake and do your Locomation, with a Splish Splash going Under The Boardwalk to cause a commotion. Make it go Higher and Higher because I Stand Alone and you're on fire.

Here's one last Tequila for you. But if you try to Gimmie Some Lovin I'll sue. Now That I Can Dance Play That Funky Music and Drift Away in a trance. The Witch Doctor will be no good. For I'm Stone Cold Crazy as I bash you with wood.

I will not Come on Feel The Noise. Just Beat On The Brat which causes such joys. Bye bye, it's Celebration time. For you are now a Spirit in the Sky and I can once again rhyme, without having Everybody Sing This Song or some scary YMCA rendition. The cat is Swinging on a Star after completing my mission.

So remember Nice Guys Finish Last and be Once Bitten Twice Shy so you don't get another cast. Oh I Feel Good now that I can sleep. I might Go For a Soda and kill those Patio Lanterns next. If you cry I Need A Hero or We're Not Gonna Take It at your annex the cat will come up to 25 Miles. I Will Survive and give you smiles, bashing the thing to crap so you can nap.

Unless it's Waltzing Matilda as she's a stalker and Bad Bad Leroy Brown is a mean talker. Sorry! I don't Walk Like a Man lass. It's All Right for the Face it Facts are I'm a (s)catman with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Going Truly dVerse, Old People Might Curse!

You may 86 me from dVerse after this but ICBW and it could cause bliss. Just know well you are LIS your way. You can blame LMF for the dVerse nature of my rhyming today. Do not GRRR me! But it does seem to be ODTAA at my rhyming sea. So TAP and strap in. If IPN is that a sin?

ITA with you.
IWBNI away these acronyms flew
But OST it does save time.
SWIM a short rhyme.

MOS no longer.
Language like KMA can get stronger.
IMO, oh hell.
IMAO I must tell.

PBIAB!
MSTM but does it cause you to itch?
Don't worry there is MTF!
So KYBC and swallow.

I know you could be asking WDYS.
TTTT I enjoy causing dismay.
NTW though.
Usually it's only HHOK at my show.

FTLOG will I ever stop?
There are NSA so don't call a cop.
NBS you look funky.
When you go JUADLAM.

Just don't STM too.
IGWS that would corrupt somes view.
Yeah I'm so FOS.
But you always enter AYOR for each rhyming fit.

Once you come you DGA.
MOF NMTE you sit and stare.
But don't avoid BMS.
Places WTSDS it might perplex.

A BHOF came by my way.
Age was a BDN I must say.
He said IGGP.
And to MYL before he left me.

Now PRW this POSC and I have a QQ.
If SNAFU occurs what is your suggestion?
Oh that was MITIN but it MML at bit.
You CMU I TIGAS.

NNWW DBD and CYM.
DMPMPL at that tale.
You're NOA that's NFF!
SYT at my lair.

DWBH it's as E123.
DIY or get a BSEG from my sea.
You are a BAMF!
IYD fooled you sucker.

I'm now ROTFLMAO,
Oh NOOB don't scoff.
IKYABWAI!
JSU I know that sounded like a two year old guy.

Remember DQMOT!
If you can't RBTL and the point you miss.
RUNTS you ask?
Maybe it's just the BIBO in my flask.

Can you FITB yet?
NBD if you can't RYS and fret.
Let's MRA now.
It just SLAP somehow.

SIUYA you S4B!
Well S2U for I'm the MFIC of these lanes.
INBD if you are OOT,
And SOBT over this texting crutch.

AISE it is okay.
I still CSL my way.
FAWC though.
Or saying AFDN at my show.

While I'm BAG.
Because you don't KWIM at my hut.
Saying IHA and TFN cat.
GNSD and we'll blame this on Pat.

With these Face it Facts I have one thing left to say. I was GTSY SOBT as I went OTW J4F with JM2C in rhyme. Know you SUL with the SSDD and TWITA my way. BB4N I will BBL but won't BRB. So DND my R&R or I will attack, after TAS with my BIOYN power. GMAB I've G2G, OOO, GFTD to put it simple IOH. GLA, sorry for the fear, PLO.

So did you pass or fail from my acronym wail? Either way my dVerse mass. That is the end of the acronym lesson from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Another Nut! Why Can't I Just Attract A Mutt?

I guess it's my rhyming stuff or simply how I huff and puff, for all the cat seems to find, are crazy people following my behind. Oh never fear. Brian, Betsy, LMF, Elisa, Fred and the many others aren't the topic of this cheer. What you thought they were? Hmmm that could ruffle their crazy umm lack of fur.

And moving on, I long for the days of just being chased by a dog at my lawn. Now it seems I found a whole pack and brain shuts is surely on the attack. For each stranger I came across, with danger they seemed to be at a loss.

The first guy thought he was so clever,
Trying to prove a point with his endeavor.
He ran with scissors down the hall.
Slipped on a banana and stabbed himself as he went for a great fall.
Let's just say something won't be rising any more,
As when he stood up it was not just a banana lying on the floor.

Another lass thought see was being nice.
No longer satisfied with feeding ducks a slice.
So she went and fed a bear,
Let's just say she no longer has any hair.

The next nut tried to traverse thin ice,
And he paid the price.
Now he's the man in blue.
A carnival act performing for all of you.

This mook was just plain ewww.
He wanted to prove pissing in the wind untrue.
Let's just say he now is wise,
But still might have a burning feeling in his eyes.

Another crossed the road without looking.
A pine box she is now booking.
It's just so sad and too bad.
That robot dog was such a clever lad.

Want to see a human roll like an animal at the zoo?
Then playing with fire is due.
He stopped, he dropped, he rolled.
Luckily the fire was controlled.
For now no eyebrow guy,
Can also give the circus a try.

Then this mook talked to a stranger,
I guess he mistook him for the Lone Ranger.
When really Zorro it was and if I can give one tip.
From his response forget about any enjoyment from a whip.

Glad I kept my distance from this frightful show. I guess these brain shuts nuts were just not in the know. But they learned the Face it Facts the hard way and hopefully in their head they will stay. Before they get to trying laughing gas and really annoy my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

On The Road With The Godly Toad!

"You fleabags better let Drazin out of here! This isn't how you treat a God!"

That mook Drazin continued to whine as Miss Priss and I calf tied the godly one. We turned to run and then we were blocked by a fool that did not make Drazin seem so undone.

****************************************
"You know this is a trap right?"

Miss Priss cried and I never thought she lied, but there was free meat and I knew the whole thing smelled of that mook Drazin's godly beat. But we kicked his butt time and time before. So I figured why not once more?

"Where's the fun in walking away. Let's make the godly ones day."

Miss Priss swore at me as I shoved her on back the truck, I think what she said rhymed with duck. Then I jumped on and we said goodbye to the dawn. Drazin slammed the back hatch shut and laughed right from his gut.

"Drazin's peacock slippers are about worn out fleabags. Drazin needs something warmer. Drazin told you Drazin would have Drazin's day."

I can't really say what was worse, listening to Miss Priss curse, Drazin actually thinking we fell for his stupid game or the fact that I lost count of how many times he said his own name.

We smelled the dinner to make sure it was okay and then lapped it off the tray. Miss Priss stuck her claws out and shoved them through a crack. It was not long before we once again could see light out the back.

Drazin actually obeyed the traffic law and stopped at the red light he saw. Big mistake for that fool. I wonder if he even passed pre-school?

"Thanks for the meal. It was quite a steal."

I yelled as we ran away. Drazin stopped the truck and I think spit began to spray, as he yelled at us. I bet he himself could fill the short bus. He came after us running and Miss Priss could not help but say how this god was not so cunning.

"Don't you have the power to stop us or something? Better yet why not just turn the truck around and use that? Some god!"

Drazin got mad and then became kind of glad, as he thought he was catching up but we let him know it was just a temporary hiccup. For we made him feel good and slowed down. Then took off leaving him in our dust as we ran across town.

"Drazin will get you fleabags! If it's the last thing Drazin does, Drazin will have Drazin's cat slippers."

Was all we heard echoing down the street, as the godly one stood there in his bare feet. It seems he wore out his peacock slippers. Maybe he should invest in flippers.

We dashed into a building to take a rest letting poor Drazin continue his never ending quest. Yet before we could even leave the godly one almost made me believe. He showed up out of the dark and gave his usual third person bark.

"You fleabags think you are so smart. But Drazin won't be denied."

He grabbed me by my scruff and latched on kind of tough. He literally squeezed the "you know" out of me and that was when Miss Priss was able to see. There was a blipping light in that which he squeezed out by holding on tight.

"A tracking device. It figures the god had to use technology, after all he is short a few circuits of his own."

I gave his hand a bite and spit out the germiness on sight. I did not want to catch his mook disease, I already have a few fleas. Miss Priss already started to twirl some cords around his feet. It was not long before the godly one and the floor had a meet and greet.

That is when he swore to catch us for the hundred time and he did not even do it in rhyme. But what was the real crime, was the nut standing before us thinking he had hit the big time.

"Never fear, Tarsier Man is here!"

His eyes were bigger than his skull and he sounded like a squawking seagull. He had some Dhalsm Street Fighter legs and looked like one who would take round holes and fill them with square pegs.

"A fan of yours Drazin? Let me guess. You met him at a Xena convention. Which one wore the costume?"

"Probably both, as they repeated the Joxer oath."

Neither seemed amused by our ranting and the Tarsier Man actually seemed to be panting. He undid Drazin and acted all proud, pretending he was playing to a crowd.

"Drazin is appalled by such a sight. Drazin doesn't need no filthy what ever you are helping Drazin."

"You mean the god himself can't identify the species?"

"I guess after saying your own name a thousand times or so, all others around you seem to go out the window."

Drazin grabbed the nut by the neck and choked him, until his lights grew dim. The nuts eyes then popped out whacking Drazin in the face and he quickly fled this place.

"I guess he only has eyes for you."

Miss Priss laughed as we took off and faked a cough. She knew how lame it was but said it just because. Drazin once more was left all alone. Maybe he should have asked Tarsier Man for the number of his phone?

So that was the Fact it Facts of this Drazin adventure and our little outing venture. We got home before Pat arrived back. He had no idea we left our shack. Just another human who can't compete. But at least he feeds us white meat. The dark stuff from Drazin left my stomach at an impasse and that is that from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 22, 2011

Make Things Less Boring and Avoid Snoring!

I guess Pat and his crap inspired the cat the other day, with his stupid accounting and such say. Then I walked by this course and felt a load of remorse, for all those in there. If I had to listen to Mr. Robot Voice drone on and on, I would have pulled out my hair.

Just ten seconds was enough, to know staying awake through that thing would be rough. So the cat thought about it and of course it brought on a what to do fit.

What to do, What to do
When the speaking robot man is boring you!

So you have to go to some presentation,
Whether it be class or another representation.
Yet you get there and the droning begins.
What can you do when no one but the book reading robot man wins?

Of course there is the tack on the seat
Or other known rules to defeat.
But why not get a camera and have it flash,
Blinding robot man and no more book rehash.

A question arises to you,
Oh! Oh! Pick me oooo! oooo!
You that sounded bad.
But still lets say you're a picked lass or lad.

Then point to someone else and say,
They know the answer today.
Or claim you got the answer from the bathroom wall.
After all the new medication makes you run down the hall.

Could simply just walk up and read from robot man's book.
Wait for the dirty look,
Then say he sets a bad example.
And why should you be part of a random sample.

Could use spray paint to takes notes,
Or an old fashion typewrite to for his quotes.
Tape record the end of day bell.
Then play it ever five minutes causing such hell.

Or simply sit it on your chair,
And walk out with such flare.
Say your machine will copy another.
And you've got better things to like watch Big Brother.

Yeah reality TV ewww!
But it does cater to the brainless crew.
Bring a water gun,
That would be such fun.

Or switch it around,
And have a fishing rod be magically found.
Use it to take off the robot man's wig.
Then dance a jig.

I did that! I did that too!
Is constantly sung out by you.
Then contradict every thing with some fact.
Acting as if you are the authoritative act.

Or you had a family member.
And as your tree you dismember.
Your wife's, dog's, half brother's, cat's, half eaten mouse,
Did the thing that was gross.

Time to play hoops,
In robot man's coffee or fruit loops.
Pick your paper apart,
And let it depart.

If you miss, don't hiss.
And if you get caught just dismiss.
You need 30 required minutes of exercise after all.
According to town hall.

Stretch out with your 3d glasses,
Yeah a fad that hopefully passes.
And ask when the movie is going to start.
Say you found better choices at Wal-Mart.

So there you go,
Now thanks to my show.
You have no need to be bored,
The next time a robot man slouches your spinal cord.

The Face it Facts were easy today. Avoid robot men or women and their stupid reading display. And that is all coming from my way. Hopefully I caused those robots dismay. The next time they ramble on out of a book in class and I will laugh as they curse my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Flappy Just Got Cooler! Elastic Band?...Elastic Band?...Bueller?...Bueller?...Bueller?

Just when one thinks things could not get more annoying, Flappy's same repeated dumb questions just keep deploying. Pat really needs to find a new job or carry a bucket around of corn on the cob. Then as the stupid brain shuts questions arise, whack her with one right between the eyes.

As everyone left and Pat was ready to go, Oh NO! An elastic band refused to show. It's not like they are a dime a hundred or anything. Although right then Pat wished he had one to fling. Snapping her right on the forehead, creating a red mark that said, "Brain Shuts Alert! Will Make Your Head Hurt!"

"Did you see my elastic band? My elastic band was right there. Did you see my elastic band?"

Flappy acted as if she just lost a million dollar lottery ticket and was more annoying then a bedside cricket. But Pat said no. Still her questions did not slow.

"I know it was right there. Did you see my elastic band? You wouldn't happen to have an elastic band?" Did you see my elastic band?"

Yeah, I am just like the other seven billion on the planet. I carry a pocket full of elastics around that are bronzed in granite. And you are waaaay too annoying for me to unlock everything to go get some dumb elastic for your stupid crap. Shove your crap in your bag and shove off already you sap. But off course Pat remained in a happy place and her yap continued to flap off her face.

"Someone must have took my elastic band. Are you sure you didn't see my elastic band? I know it was right there. I wonder what happened to my elastic band."

I wish you would wonder long and hard about it and get lost. Also maybe suck on some exhaust. Really, who the hell is going to steal an elastic anyway? I sure know that's the first thing I would steal any day. Someone probably took it and used it to snap their own head for listening to her just brings dread.

"I wonder where my elastic band went. I know it was there on the table. What happened to my elastic band?"

She keep saying as I slammed the door shut. Literally I almost hit her in that rather large butt. I over emphasized the slam too. Sadly, I do not think the hint got through. For I could still hear through the door her go on about some stupid elastic forever more.

I guess the Face it Facts of today. Maybe all should carry an elastic around in case Flappy comes their way. If you have good aim fling it at her head for me and take a video as that be a delight to see. Also sure Pat thought things quite crass, which will not be repeated by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Oh The Shame! Pat Is So Lame!

So the Face it Facts are this brings the cat to 200 rhyming rings. Whoever thought I would do so many of these things? Yet I still have all my hair and still have my rhyming flare. But what would have happened if Pat hosted the blog. I think you all would have leaped to another log.

The term "GAAP" is an abbreviation for Generally Accepted Accounting Principles. GAAP is a codification of how CPA firms and corporations prepare and present their business income and expense, assets and liabilities on their financial statements. GAAP is not a single accounting rule, but rather the aggregate of many rules on how to account for various transactions. - Wikipeida

You see what you would have got? Aren't you glad you have this nut?

The drying of acrylic paints occurs in two very different stages, hence drying times must be thought of in two different time frames. The first stage, a relatively short period of time, results in the formation of a skin over the surface of the paint. This is the time that it takes for acrylics to "dry to the touch". At this point, the flow of water towards the surface is no longer sufficient to keep the paint film wet. Very thin films can feel dry within seconds, while thick films may take a full day or more to skin over.

Oh no! Look what I started now. I have to stop Pat before everyone has a cow.

The object of mowing is to keep the lawn neat without cutting away too much vital green grass leaf. It is the evenness of cut, not height, that is important for appearance. In fact, a low-clipped lawn may look shaggy quickly because of conspicuous weeds. Like most plants, most lawn grasses "tiller" or spread out shoots from the bottom when they are topped (mowed), resulting in a thicker and more luxurious lawn.

Give the computer back now Pat. I may type slow with no working thumbs, but you are annoying the cat.

Annoying - to disturb or bother (a person) in a way that displeases, troubles, or slightly irritates.

Yes! You are that and so much more, take a hike away from my shore. Bush number three is no place for your flack. Heck, just go hide in the crack.

Yippee Pat is long gone, so no more talk about mowing the lawn. Or his stupid day job or definitions from that attention hog. But I figure there has to be some big reveal for number 200 though. So I have decided to finally show, the home where I roam, here at my rhyming dome.

Besides Betsy, Brian and the Fox from a while back thanks to Betsy's postal box. Many think what the hell, when I talk about bush number three and the crack in its well. But alas for number 200 you will all know. In what the cat resides at his show.



Did that not make up for Pat? I don't even need to be offensive when someone comes to visit the cat. My bush with the tush does all the work. Aren't I just a jerk? So number 200 has come to pass and once more I bid adieu with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

And Now Poof! Here is the Proof!

So the Face it Facts are simple today. I was over at LMF's way and I guess she has a crush on Iron Man maybe it's the suit that makes her a fan. Yeah really it is RDJ I will confess and that started this whole mess. And just think if you are having a bad day, you can pretend to be dyslexic your way. Then it will be FML instead. Look where that led?

She wants to watch every movie of his, which of course had me go back to the movie biz. I said I seen fifty or so. Which I will sorta prove at my show.

For I will go all Sherlock Holmes on the case,
With no Due Date at my place.
For The Incredible Hulk might get mad.
Of course the psycho Zodiac would be glad.

A Scanner Darkly you should skip,
Johnny Be Good is kind of hip.
The U.S. Marshals may clobber him though.
If The Gingerbread Man were to show.

Take your favorite swearing picks,
And use them on Game 6.
I'd rather be hit with a ton of bricks.
Then EVER again watch that big steamy pile of dog mix.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang!
The Singing Detective has sang.
The Shaggy Dog is quite the mutt.
Sniffing Iron Man's butt.

Iron Man 2 was a pile of crap.
So the dog took a nap.
Weird Science might send you back.
To 1969 or to some strange shack.

Gothika might make you scared,
Those Heart and Souls shared.
Air America will fly you away.
Chances Are there will be no dismay.

The Pick Up Artist might cause some.
Natural Born Killers will shoot off your thumb.
Quite the Danger Zone,
Just watching that last one will make you groan.

Back to School!
You Firstborn fool.
Two Guys and a Girl,
Will give Tuff Turf a whirl.

Are you a True Believer yet?
Whoopi and her Soapdish will help I bet.
Guess I know Less than Zero.
Hail Caesar the conquering hero.

That Tropic Thunder sounds loud.
Sure Charlie Bartlett is proud.
As are the Wonder Boys,
Home for the Holidays with all their toys.

Only You can prevent forest fires.
I think Bowfinger crossed my wires.
In Dreams you should go.
With a One Night Stand and the lights low.

The Soloist would even play a tune.
So your date you can swoon.
Looks like I'm a lying err ummm duck.
So Good Night and Good Luck.

Yes! Upon further reflection and with a little bit of extra detection, I have only seen forty one. I guess I jumped the gun. Oh well only nine off, so don't scoff. I am sure there will be nine more, that I will take the movie tour. So there we go LMF lass. Now I'm certain forty one have been seen by my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

I Said Don't Make A Sound And Then dVerse Noises Were Found!

Might want to plugs you ears, this could cause tears. For some of it is so horrible to listen too, it might drive you right to the loo. It was just so noisy at the dVerse way. I guess everyone was trying to have their say. The cat went in and took his seat and the walls seemed to be crying trick or treat. I told them to shut the hell up, which lead to this dVerse hiccup.

The phones were ringing,
And the walls were singing.
The dVerse pub was crying,
The quiet was surely dying.

Then came the clanging,
Along with some banging.
Some clucking followed that.
Sure intirgued the cat.

As did the cawing,
So I began clawing.
The racket I couldn't bear,
I knew this was rare.

But the hissing ensued,
And the cackling was rather rude.
The snorting was scary,
As the volume began to carry.

I told Brian there was quacking,
He thought my brain was lacking.
Then came the whining,
Right out of The Shining.

It was quite loud,
The thing seemed proud.
Next there was a tinkling,
That was just someone sprinkling.

Now there was a new beat,
The tune made me stomp my feet.
Even with the chattering wall.
And the person in the bathroom stall.

Until it started to squeal,
I asked Claudia what was the deal?
But she was too busy napping,
To hear the wall yapping.

It was wheezing away,
And sneezing through the day.
Giving a thunderous grunt,
And calling me a runt.

It thought I could bark,
Guess it missed the mark.
It's scratchy voice,
Left me no choice.

For everyone had begun to snore,
Falling on the floor.
That wall had to die,
And stoop mooing at this guy.

The chattering snarl moaned at me,
Gasping and piercing telling me to flee.
The cheeping was creepy,
So was the snoring from those that went sleepy.

That damn thing gave a chirp,
Followed by a burp.
Gagging at its own growl.
Followed by a whistling howl.

With some tapping clapping,
And some finger snapping.
A bubbling popping,
With some rhythmic hopping.

A rumbling tone,
A clattering groan.
Add a piercing yell,
And this wall had to go to hell.

It rattled and cooed,
Offended and shrewd.
As I heard a boom,
From the wall of doom.

Splashing whispers in my face,
Sobbing at my embrace.
As it began croaking like a frog,
And I tore through the log.

A trumpeting sigh gave way,
Like I relieved its dismay.
Soothing its pitch,
As it called me a bitch.

I soon made it bawl,
As the dVerse crew began to wake and crawl.
The yelping still brings me delight,
And the silence helps me sleep at night.

For I had saved the dVerse bay,
From complete noise induced disarray.
By clawing a hole in that whoopie cushion,
And shut off the sound it was pushin'

So if Brian and Claudia see a hole in there wall, blame the one in the bathroom stall. As the Face it Facts are simple today. The cat saved the dVerse way. From all that sound pollution. And that was the whoopie cushion revolution. Who put it in the wall though? That I do not know. But it was sure full of some type of gas and really annoyed my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 17, 2011

This Ruffles My Hair, The Cat Can't Seem To Swear!

So the cat got into it the other day, with some big nut who just had to have his say. Sounded worse than that Drazin guy. Sadly that is not a lie. And when I went to let him have it. Turns out I could not have a fit. Must have came down with something, for the swear words just would not fling.

The Following is based on a true story.
(Do you really believe me? Never know it could be.)
And wham it! I can't go for the glory.

I saw this nice meat shop and figured I would have a snack. So I ducked down ready to go on the attack. The meat was just sitting there right on display, plus there was a ton and I figured he would not miss one or two slabs of it today. I guess I was wrong for that's when Mr. Chef Boyardee went on the attack singing his song.

He called me a flea ridden varmint and said I should scram before he hung me next to the rack of lamb. Well that I was not about to take, so I tried to insult the nut with a french accent that was obviously fake.

"You won't miss one little piece there Denise."

It's Dennis he cried out far and wide, acting like a royal peacock with each stride. It still sounded like Denise to me, which I admit caused me such glee.

"Well I'm taking one just for having to put up with your phony french bull tail ringing in my ears. Cheers!"

I grabbed a slab and went to run and noticed how I was getting a weird look from him and everyone. I knew I wasn't as strange, as the guy in the corner singing Home on the Range.

Then it hit me what I said, strat is all that would go through my head. But since that was Pat's made up word, I knew I would sound even more absurd. I could not leave in such a state. I had to get the insult off my plate.

"You are nothing but a mother kisser. Wham it! Mother Hugger, Mother Watcher, Mother Talker. Wham it! How could I become such a bad disser?"

He did seem to take offense to the watcher one. I guess that could come across as something insulting if compared to a Peeping Tom or someone. But that was not good enough. It was time I got rough.

"Alright you lollipop sucker. Son of an itcher. Bass Fisher. Shhhow me the money. Strat! How about you just look funny?"

He quickly became Chef Smiley Face, loving that I could not put him in his place. I let my anger rise. In hindsight that probably was not wise.

"You tootise roll licker! Apple eater! Country Slicker! Brick! Duck! Rock! Custard! Rich! Fun loving cat! Silly Strat!"

He laughed harder at me and I figured my only thing to do was flee. But as I ran out the door, his laughing turned to shouting as he ran across the floor. For I did get the last laugh on him. For he thought I was dim while I snuck more meat on my tray and dragged it off as I made my getaway.

I guess the Face it Facts of this tale are quite simple, if you cannot flirt with some cute dimple. There is no need to abuse, just go ahead and confuse. They will think you are funny and you really do get more honey. Just make sure you can run really fast or pick a Chef that is shall we say vast. In case you are lost that means he has a large mass. Now I must go enjoy my spoils so see you later from my little rhyming a....a....as....(smiles) ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

C From Cat! How About That!

So Fred and his Twisted T went and had to challenge me. So when you go blind from looking at my hmmm "Curly C," blame Fred for what you see. That is all the Face it Facts you will need today. For you will C what I mean in a second or two at my bay.

Can Canadian Cats Create Cryptic Claps Causing Cuban Club Culture Cookey Coca Cola Clogs? Citizen Class Could Confirm Consumer Capital Clears Corrupt Corporate Coin. Contract Collusion Coincendentally Causes Country Conflict Costing Citizens Cash. Cost Cutting Crunches Cripple Crowds Curving College Commision. Clapping Claims Cover Convex Chemical Companies, Conning Construction Crews. Cramped Courts Certify Cuts, Clogging Criminal Cases. Chocolate Chip Cookies Can Cause Citizens Celluloid. Census Claims Cats Cannot Cough Corresponding Customization. Cold Cycles Cause Complete Crippling Chin Crying, Claiming Crop Clipping Chickens. Christmas Caroling Conitinues Curing Cold Climate Chin Cases. Coronary Catching Can Carry Cross Crazy Cyber Cat Chat. Class Cramming Cripples Circuits Causing Clear Cut Cramping. Colleges Can Cure Cramping, Corresponding Cost Claiming Can Cripple Coin. Crystals Cry Closing Causing Creditor Commissions Contracting Corn. Carrying Canoes Can Cripple Coronary Cover. Candles Create Carbon Chemicals Causing Continuous Consumer Cash Cycles. Climate Change Can Cure Cold Cycles Creating Complex Climates. Clumsy Curly Clawed Cats Can Catch Cold Climate Changing Corporate Criminals. Covering Celluloid Clingy Cuddling Can Cause Cramping. Clipper Customizing Changes Chin Copping, Clipping Crystals, Causing Cuts. Complex Companies Can Change Consumer Cart Cases, Chipping Cash Capital, Crippling Club Culture. Chickens, Cows, Chimpmunks, Canaries, Coyotes, Cranes, Crickets, Crabs, Camels, Chinchillas, Catfish, Crocodiles, Clams, Cardinals, Cockroaches, Caribou, Centipedes, Clown Crews, Contract Clear Cut Corny Class Census Claims, Confirming Cookey Canadian Complex Cryptic Cat Concerts Can Contract Country Crowds.

Now I bet you will never look at C the same way. Wasn't it such fun today. What is that? You can no longer C thanks to the cat? Oops! My bad. I may have went overboard a tad. But there is no need to C that sass. Today I was just a C happy little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Does That Bridge Send You Over The Ridge?

A bridge does send you over stuff. That I know so do not get in a huff. The cat was asking if it made you nuts because of all the traveling people with the brain shuts. Yes! People of Globland. I coined a new term and it had nothing do to with a germ. Seems to be so many people around, that act dumb and can easily be found. That it's like their brain has been shut off or they drank from a poisoned horse trough.

So from now one there will be no long winded rhyme about how people seem dense most of the time. I will just say they have the brain shuts. Oh! I know I am already nuts. But rub it in if you must. I hope I did not leave you in digust. If you suffer from the brain shuts your way. I am....I am...ummm okay, not so sorry for the dismay.

Now back on track, going on about the nuts who cannot seem to cross a bridge without a brain shuts attack.

What to do, What to do
When bridge nuts shout ballyhoo!

So you have an empty fridge,
And the grocery store lies over a bridge.
What can you do?
To avoid the bridge nuts in your view.

Swing like a monkey under it.
You'd be a sure fire circus hit.
Might drop some groceries on the way back.
Depending upon how you stack.

Or you could just give a quack,
And swim across if you have the knack.
Could catch a free fish too.
Polluted dinner all ready for you.

Of course you could use a canoe.
And give yourself a toxic shampoo.
Then you'd be glowy and bright.
And Santa could ask you to lead his sleigh Christmas night.

But if it is all rock.
Latch onto a geese flock.
They will honk and clear a path.
Although you may be in need of a bath.

As they just let their dung fly.
Oh that would be nasty to have dung eye.
Hop on a pogo stick.
Or listen for the banjos of some hick.

That right there will make you run.
Even the bridge nuts you will stun.
Could have took that boat.
But they just passed a vote.

So you are out of luck.
As some senator wants to pocket the cash for a new truck.
Steal it and play Dukes of Hazzard.
Just get a good lawyer and say the truck was a biohazard.

If you don't want to risk a limp.
Go out and get a blimp.
But that could go pop.
And you could go plop.

Or rather splat.
Hmm is that roadkill a dog or cat?
Now don't flip your lid.
Look what I did.

Don't you like the bridge that much more.
Aren't you glad you came ashore.
The bridge nuts will still be there.
But just say a prayer.

Flip them the bird and continue to swear.
Letting them know brain shuts syndrome is oozing out their hair.
And they belong in day care.
For there is only room for one in solitaire.

The cat just went off there, as brain shuts syndrome abounds here so beware! For the bridges seem to have an accident every second day. I guess more than one lane causes too much dismay. So the bridge Face it Facts are through. I do not know how much of it is true. But brain shuts syndrome seems to be growing in mass. It is quite scary to my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Friday, October 14, 2011

The Cat Joined The Bus. With The Blogfestivus For The Rest of Us!

Now do not go and cuss. Unless your name is Gus. Then you will get a pass from my little rhyming ass. Damn! I used that first and yes I ripped off Seinfeld with my title burst. But what are you going to do about it? Maybe just "Sit on it?" Oops did you have a fit? I better stop before I get hit. Now on to blogfest for a bit.

For over at QQQ's way, yeah typing that out would just cause dismay..haha. There is a blogfest today. Yes! I know everyone is becoming a pimp as they have their say. As long as no fluffy hats and fees are charged I think we will be okay. But if you are one of those stay away or I will hit you with STD repelling spray.

I figured what better way to go about this little venture than with a certain drinking song adventure. Yes, I brought it back. Don't give me a smack. Or I will hide in my bush with a crack. For those not in the know that might cause flack. So my rambling will cease before QQQ calls the blogfest police.

The Blogfest Irish Drinking Song

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

So I'm supposed to follow the rule of three,
Giving praise who I go to see.
But you will soon learn what a cheat I can be.
For with Pat and the cat that is three plus three.
Meaning we could do thirty three or more.
I think my math just took a detour.
But what can you do?
Blame the school system, that's who!

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

This should be done with nothing too crass.
But I make no promises with my little rhyming ass.
Will take you to the crazy prom.
Peeing in parking garages and swindling with mints,
Can leave those kind of imprints.
Whoops! I hit the skids,
That stuff is done by her kids.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

This would go on all night,
If I sucked back twelve cups of coffee as I write.
Damn! My Five Men just caused another fright,
As here comes a new recipe in sight.
Oh! My poor ocd.
Pile that laundry higher so I am no longer able to see.
But the shoes are nice and in a row
And tons of kitties join in for the show.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Why are you so obsessed with me?
Raviolis & Waterworks is who you should go see.
Oh wait! She already has one stalker on her plate.
That could be a heinous fate.
But she knows the tell tale signs.
So stalkers will go on the declines.
Maybe hit a land mine.
I guess karma has decided to align.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Out flips the bird,
For you shouting nuts seem quite absurd.
Oh! Was that a dirty look,
WaystationOne can write a book.
Now you are immortalized in pen,
In 160 characters or ten.
Even shows off 3000 pairs of underwear,
Maybe he could send you a pair?

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Hollywood is so fake,
The BS could float a lake.
But the Hollywood Spy digs deep.
Now you no longer will go what the bleep.
As you will know the inside scoop,
Might even be able to tell you when they poop.
If that is your sort of thing.
Warning! No matter how pretty, the smell will still sting.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

All the T's might make you go blind,
If the tongue twister you find.
But Poetical Psyche will wake you up,
Without a single hiccup.
Going from western to medieval,
Truly quite the retrieval.
All comes off without a hitch.
Oh! And give Blogger a clap, as it stopped being a bitch!

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Was this a Slamdunk?
Even if I Live High and my math stunk?
And climb a Rainbow how about that?
Madhulika Speaks to the cat too!
Even My Maniacal Mind knows that sounded bad.
I blame that Technosauce lad.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

So I will end it here,
For I bent the rules I fear.
Hell! I blew them all away,
As I went about my rhyme play.
But what's a blogfest to be.
If you can't fest with more than three.
What if one gets too drunk and decides to pass?
Aren't you glad that was thought of by my little rhyming ass?
And I am a cat not a pup,
Either way math went out the window so suck it up buttercup!

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Oh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeee-diiii-deeee-diiiiiii!

So the Face it Facts are simple enough the cat cannot do math even in the buff. Three is just a number to me and I make it what I want it to be. So if you must call the blogfest cop, first do the bunny hop. Now don't you feel better as you flail? You little bunny hopping tattle tale. Now the blogfest has come to pass and that is all today from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Skynet Is Going To Cause Dismay Or At Least Put Us Away!

And so our reliance on machines grows ever more, as soon they may make you take the "don't drop the soap" tour. FAST is going to look all over you and determine if your intentions are true.

So do not move FAST acting like you might put someone in a cast. Or you'll be singing Jailhouse Rock and stuck behind a lock. Let's say your kid ran off down the hall and you ran fast flustered and all, you could be thinking something bad. So off you go into a little locked pad.

Hey you! Yes! You with that twitchy eye. Oops I did not mean to make you cry. Your movements just made the machine think that you are up to no good. So off you go to the clink. Do not stare too long or blink FAST, that is just wrong.

You see your lover and get all flustered up but oh no you created a FAST hiccup. Down comes the hammer and off you go to the slammer. You will recieve some love though, just maybe not the kind that will happily curl your toe.

Speak in a bad tone and rhythm and you are done. FAST has won. So if I go and rhyme, it might take that as a crime. I will be dragged away from my den and locked up in the pen. Probably give me super max for my craziness. This is FAST approaching laziness.

In 81% of field tests, in some dark and dreary place, where they used FAST without a trace. It seemed to work. I guess the poor 19% it screwed up on thought it was a jerk. So it threw them away for the hell of it. Tip: Do not make FAST have a fit.

The Face it Facts are simple today, giving machines this much power is asking for a Skynet doomsday. Going all Minority Report on what people may be thinking is dumb to bring to any court. Most people do not think for starters, others are just brain farters and the rest change their mind on a whim. So using a machine is quite dim.

All it can do is pick out what's seen by me or you. Does not take much premonition most of the time, to see someone is about to commit a crime. But alas they want their dough, so the machine will come and never go. Eventually giving courts the heave ho. Not sure that would be a bad flow. No longer letting some slick rich bitch getting away with crap, but that is a whole other rhyme flap.

If a machine flags me passing gas, I will rhyme FAST and think crass. The machine will die, overloaded by my rhyming sass and all with thank my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A Not So Rhyming Time. Yet Another Pat Crime!

The cat and Pat have been fighting a ton once more. As he just finished up book number two at our shore. Once again there is no rhyme. Pat truly does commit a crime. But I guess humans can't be as smart as the cat and rhyme everything at my mat.

But I will still give him a plug at my rug, as he fills the gut of this rhyme nut. So from A Not So New World to A Not So Perfect World I guess, they are good as others seem to confess. Now my rhyme is done. Time for other fun.

Stuck on Chutar fighting the P.A.T. (yeah look at the name Pat used, ego much?) as well as the Defense Force and The Middle(That must have took some thinking up) Not wanting to but having no choice, for all Jack and Emily want to do is get home. Do they win? Do they lose? Not to mention do they get their feline contraption back? Hmm one never knows how these things go. For with McClane, The Leaders and Commander Brown all on their behind, their feline contraption and home won't be easy to find. Especially since they don't know where or even when they are.

But that's just number one and oh they aren't through. Now Critlens, dragons, gods, aliens, even Santa himself come into view. Heck that damn Drazin nut shows his ugly mug. Gods and Drazin hmmm that must be fun. I wonder from where Pat stole that one? (from the cat) But all is not what it seems, with collars bursting out at the seams. Plus a nutso Prophet after them all and the OCP added to the mix. Then Zeus throws in some tricks. Are they home or in a new land? Not much of it seems grand. Then there is that light bright upgrade and General Old Spice plus the clones. Warning you may ignore your phones. And don't forget those stratty germs, scarier than worms.

For a limited time buy one get the second free. Isn't that nice to see? Oh and Pat must once again send a big thanks to Betsy for editing once more and taking the A Not So Perfect World tour. Now here is the cover to view. Oh and the first 100 people to send a review or write one some where, get a free ad in the Face it Facts with flare. With roughly 4.5 million hits already this year, could definitely send others to see your ummm rear.
Now the cat is done plugging and being all nice. Back to fighting with Pat, as he goes at number three, and eating mice. So feel free to go to Pat Hatt Books and trespass and that is all from my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Mr. Linky Is Giving Me Triskaidekaphobia Today. Damn that dVerse Way!

I suppose there are worse things to suffer from. Like fear of wiping your bum. But really Triskaidekaphobia is a tad out to lunch. Except maybe when applying it to this credit crunch. Never fear, I will give you the Face it Facts dear. Crap! I stole Betsy's word, but she's a dear and will not flip me the bird. This 13 is really bringing me bad luck. Riiiight and because of it I will get hit by a truck.

Yes, it means you are afriad of the big scary number "13" oh no! There it is at my show. Run, flee, hide. You cannot let it be seen far and wide. So anyway this should be fun, as I go down the 13 tracks of dVerse one by one.

13 I cannot find.
Gives me such piece of mind.
They even skipped a street for me.
If they did not every accident would be 13's fault you see.

I hit the elevator button for fourteen.
And 13 just is not seen.
Aww isn't that nice.
They once again played to my vice.

Oh no! It's Friday and 13 together.
We better watch out for stormy weather.
Even though it's the most common day.
That 13 tends to have its say on any weekday.

Yes there is religion too.
13 at the last supper for brew.
Also in Norse myth 13 came to Odin's feast
And it was ruined by that Loki beast.

That has to make it oh so legit.
Further verifying such a fit.
Oh do not give me any more facts.
I am set in my ways and acts.

Who cares if there were 14 in some earthquake.
Or 10 got squashed like a pancake.
Or 5 had uneven toes.
Or 50 got killed by killer windows.

13 is truly the bad luck one.
It will always make me run.
The 24 folks in the plane crash.
The 7 with a bad rash.

The 11 with no sweat glands.
The 19 afraid to shake hands.
Or the 15 with one shoe.
With 17 aliens in their loo.

Are all just out of luck.
Because 13 is what makes bad luck go cluck.
I do not care if it was good luck before.
It brings bad luck now galore.

Who cares if a suggested $800 - $900 million is lost each Friday.
That thirteen decides to play.
It is just so scary.
I'd rather walk under a ladder, see a black cat and make my toes hairy.

What is that you say?
13 does not cause dismay?
Pfffft I am not a Placebo case.
Wait until 13 shows its face.

Then you will know.
You will know at your show.
That 13 is out to get you.
You and the dVerse crew.

Oh no! 13 is going to come after me. I guess I better flee! Pfffft, just some crappy number and if you think by pressing 14 on an elevator you are truly on the 14th floor, you are dumber than a cucumber. But I will now let you and your scary number be. Maybe I should charge a 13 dollar fee? Then they will round up for bad luck, could be a golden duck. Point is, as always, if you look you will find, no matter what number is "oh so scary" to your behind. That is all today for my scary number math class and off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Monday, October 10, 2011

Gramana Time, Hurts The Head In Rhyme!

So today from the tac. Wait! I am not some harps pointy thing. Why did I give hatt a ring? What is happening to me? This is not a thighs to see. I cannot seme to say what I want to today.

It's like my nogute is numb or has sweat, yebts will get a kick out of that I bet. Maybe I need eon of those Tager Britain dollar mints. But they docul leave tongue imprints. This could be some dab rupes power. Damn! That mint satted sour. I think for a rolled they should taste like they came from the holy gairl or at least better than a tacs tail.

That was just too nufny not to use as I went around to globland to peruse. Tills not getting me out of this fit. Maybe I should go all kard like Ed with his rentruc bit. Grasp thy throat and hocke the life, binding sipep through stabbing of knife.

Umm did the kard work? Damn! Still ableun to convert. Maybe a fela bite poisoned me or something else I tea at my sea. I knew I should not vahe chewed on that tac. I think it really gave my siindes a crack. Yes, the cat tups anything in my mouth, surprised I do not have a growth. Pat has to tawch me close. I guess I think everything is a mouse.

If you ever find bush bumner three, you also better hide your hoess from me. At least if they have laces, for when you all go kalt off your faces, I will chew the cales up. Just like a raczy pup. Yeah this had to be caused by something I ate, not much to alets on Pat's plate.

Could have been hatt fly. He thought he was a clever guy. But I knocked him morf the sky and chowed him down so he could no rolnge cry. Or the tainruc I chewed. That thing and I have a feud. Maybe mose Cassie hair I got in my trap. As you all know it continually flaps.

Nope, not like a mutt. I don't nisff or eat things that moce from my own, or others, butt. So never fear, was not that, hatt brought on this cheer. Oh! Now I know. As I was oging to and fro. I had to cusk back one of Fred's dab rhymes, with all his crimes. He dame this happen, with all his bad rappin.

He caused this pain, making me pop a gramana vein and fusingcon all of you. Fred, look what you made me do. Yes, I lambe you. In sace you could not tell it is true. So those are the simple Feca ti Cafts of this. Now, dref don't go and hiss. After getting that off my chest with my little jest, it seems it has come to pass. I no longer sound like a cat, dog and horse rolled into one with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Bumper To Bumper. Never Fear, The Cat Is Not A Leg Humper!

So it seems everything was screaming at me to go all bumper cars my way. From a certain crazy bloggers two giving a boy a thrill the other day, to Brian at the dVerse way. So I will now have to have my bumper sticker say. Of course with my usual fun. So here we go on a bumper sticker run.

Pat shoved us in a cage and took us for a trip, to the place with tons of cats that I give plenty of lip, and I looked out the window at the cars passing by. On every few I spotted a bumper sticker or two with my little rhyming eye.



I guess you would drive with your feet. That be kind of neat.


I guess I talk a ton, as I have quite the gas gun.


Oh damn! We'll be stuck here forever. Blondes don't seem too clever.


I suppose that's a usual thing. I bet your finger is tied off with lots of string.


Depends on how it is percieved I guess. But a prick can make quite the mess.


You can't remember shit? Or to shit? Either way must cause a fit.


How would you do that? Bag it and walk around with it like a hat? Until you found one and then hope you could hit it as you run.


Yes that vacuum cleaner sure does suck. Or did you mean my truck?


We would be here all day, seems to be many at play.


I know poor me, no one likes me at my rhyming sea.


So if it doesn't piss me off at all, does that mean you have hit a wall.


Made you look was not good enough? I bet you think you are tough.


haha oh so true. Most do not have a clue.


At least you have a style. Losing always isn't so vile.


Pucker up buttercup.


And you answered the phone to find out? Well idiot don't pout.


Maybe that is why mutts chase them away. I guess that are good for something at least once a day.


haha too bad you couldn't throw them out as easy. Especially those that are sleazy.


So if you use each hand. I guess you are grand?


I did not know you could scream out your ass. You do know by sending it to the trunk it won't work as gas?


Yeah I agree, your opinion can't be heard at my sea.


At first glance, could be quite the stance.


I guess you lose. Blame the booze.


With those heads up there in yours that land is full. Maybe you could push and pull.


Either way put it back. That thing could fit a wall plaque.


Que the violin. That's why pigeons always win. Oops I just ate one. I guess I ruined their fun.


haha I won't even go there. Those two P's are quite the pair.


That is easy to do. Still put it back, not something I want to see from you.


I'm sure there is a reason. Oh wait! We're in America, step on a crack and commit treason..hahaha


And there you go in the ditch. I guess you now have time to scratch your phone itch.


Is that legal to do? Maybe some woman will want to grow a few.


Been there done that. Guess being loonie means I'll never be a fully broke cat.


Certaintly not your brain. As you think you are in Spain.


This one is a loaded suggestion. Dare I ask what it is in question?


Haha maybe that's the problem of Pat, at least he has the cat.


Then I guess we have to let it all hang out. That would be scary no doubt.


Ewww you really need to go to the zoo. You would sell tickets just by going moo.


Yeah you are only half hot. P.S. that is not really a beauty spot.

So there were all the bumper stickers scene on the road with Pat. The Face it Facts of these seem rather crude to the cat. I guess cars like their bumper not to be a stumper. For any mook can get most of these. Unless their brain is truly upon the high seas. That is all of today's bumper sass and off I go with my little rhyming ass.

Later all, have a nice fall.