Sunday, January 15, 2012

Damn! This dVerse Art Class Has Really Brought Out The Gas!

Today I may get a little crude and maybe even a tad rude. But you are used to it and you can blame dVerse for this little fit. As they showed some art and the first thing I thought was fart. Hey! It's not a bad word everyone does it so no need to flip me the bird. You can pretend you don't but it's a lie. So I'm just going to let it rip and the farts are going to fly.

Having a case of gas is no joke,
The more you hold it the more your insides choke.
So don't be an embarrassed bloke,
And give those farts a poke.

Of course you must follow some rules,
Or suffer the wrath of fools.
But never fear that cat is here,
To teach you the etiquette to farting out your rear.

If you go with a big dress,
You could be left in a mess.
The air could get trapped and linger.
So when wearing a dress no pull my finger.


If you want to be sure and get rid of it all,
When the gas gives a call.
This is the easiest way,
But don't moon others as it could cause dismay.

Never stand on a balcony and let one rip,
The air will send you for a flip,
And you might fall to your death,
So go inside and hold your breath.


Crossing your legs doesn't make it go away,
No matter your display.
At least the blanket will wipe it up,
If a wet one gives a hiccup.


Set it to music as you fart,
You can really play a tune from the heart.
Okay, maybe it's your butt.
Oh and above all, don't piss off a mutt.


This would just be an awful fate,
I guess farting makes them irate.
Maybe they smell what you ate off your plate.
The same goes for your date.


They get really ticked off,
Your stink making them cough.
You'll sure get beat off too,
With plenty of bruises to view.


Sometimes it just won't come out,
So don't sit and pout.
Get creative with your fart.
It truly can be an art.


Contrary to popular belief,
Your stench still causes grief.
Even if you lift your leg when doing it.
Plus it's a dead giveaway a fart was lit.


Also if you constantly do it over and over,
You won't only offend rover.
But from people holding their breath all day,
A big head may form and be on display.


And above all NEVER do it in front of a cat.
As we will stop ridding you of rat.
Because we can even smell in on the roof top.
But other than all of this feel free to fart non-stop!

I have to admit I never thought I'd be doing fart Face it Facts. But looking at the facial expressions from some the painting acts. It is what popped into my head. I hope all my farting didn't cause you too much dread. Not to mention the nude art. But I guess you all can take it to fart. Strat! I better leave as there is quite a lot of gas, even for my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

49 comments:

  1. I don't even think those images bring anything to my mind. They aren't very visually beautiful...

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  2. Great rhymes with nice pictures!

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  3. haha yeah I can't say I disagree
    But I'm sure they cause some glee

    You like the pics you say
    Ohhh I'll reframe from jumping on that one today

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  4. haha...wondering what fernando would say if he'd stumble upon your blog...maybe you should really go into art crit.. your point of view opens up new and interesting perspectives...LOL

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  5. This is amazing Pat hahaha, excellent stuff. You've definitely addressed a controversial topic with this one, I probably would be too afraid to go anywhere near this topic in my posts haha!

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  6. LOL if he had no sense of humor I'd be screwed
    Might find me rather rude
    And then google would ban my little rear end
    For the farting trend..haha

    I'm never afraid to talk about gas
    Or much else with my little rhyming ass
    hahaha don't be afriad of the fart
    Take it to heart

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    Replies
    1. dude you are a riot, i have this theory that the big headed lady, she held it and it went to her head and...the blown off the balcony bit, was a hit....and you even found a cat how nice...i think we would appreciate your write for sure...ha

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  7. LOL, these drawings are... unsettling.

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  8. hahaha that's a good word for it
    But I guess they are also a hit

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  9. Those pics.. I think I need http://kidbleach.com/ now :p

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  10. Really you are a terrible boy!!! I dont like Botero dont like his paints, and he always make the same:)

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  11. and today I will swimm 4 times more than normal(lol)

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  12. Hilarious, Pat! You have given a whole new slant to Botero's art! I practically choked out my coffee this morning... I loved the woman with the big dress. My goodness, she could probably float away if she had eaten beans the night before. LOL.

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  13. Pat, I had to hold on to my fart..er...i mean hoot as I read your riot act. I have to say you are really creative with this fart..er..I mean fat lady's hiccups. You even got the cat on top of the fart...er..i mean artsy roof ~

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  14. lol nice art to go with the wicked rhymes x

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  15. LOL could be a correct theory
    As she surely doesn't look cheery
    Knew the cat had to be placed in
    Once I saw it as I brought about my gas sin
    Think he would appreciate it
    Hmmm not sure might give him a fit

    LOL what did they hurt your sight?
    Or make some gas take flight

    Yeah alot of them do seem to be the same
    And they aren't really tame
    Swim 4 times more than normal too
    Don't get a cramp or swim in the loo

    LOL yeah she could surely float
    Or be her own boat
    Glad you didn't really choke too
    Then you might find the cat and sue..haha

    hahaha look at your playing on the fart
    Err umm I mean art
    I almost made you let one rip too
    Hopefully it's only noise and no smell was due..haha

    Like the art
    I guess you take the fart to heart

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  16. Swimm in the loo?? ha you are a crazy!

    Only dont like Botero, like I like others paints of course!!!:)

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  17. Maybe some tdayday you can write about Modigliani or Picasso are so special too (lol)

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  18. great rhymes man! keep it up :)

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  19. Omg those pictures are horrible. The two naked men trying to crack each others backs almost made me gag. Lol! Ill b having nightmares tn. Hahaha

    The one with the lady falling off the balcony cracked me up! Imagine that death certificate? Cause of death: farted too close to the edge...lol lol

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  20. That's SO funny. Needless to say, I'm glad women are a bit shy when it comes to farting in public or even in private. Imagine what our world would looks, nay, smell like. Just kidding, ladies, but there's some truth to it, wouldn't you say. By the way, Pat, have you ever heard of the Fartist? Click HERE if you're r-e-a-l-l-y curious.

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  21. P.S. 'would lookSSSS'.... sure RC... that's what you get when someone is farting while you're typing, Pat. Ladies, what did I tell you? Don't do it.

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  22. HAHAHA. I went over to D'Verse to do a poem based on the art but I couldn't come up with anything that wasn't crass, and I, no joke, said I bet the Cat would have fun with that, and here today, at your bay, lo and behold, a symposium of fart art the cat composed. Brilliant. and damn funny.

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  23. hahaha always crazy
    But never too lazy

    Maybe some day
    I could give them a go at my bay

    Was it funny
    Enough for money
    Or for honey
    I hate farts that are runny..haha

    Will be kept up
    Without a hiccup

    LOL yeah they are pretty distrubing when you look close
    Some are even kind of gross
    Sorry for the nightmare though
    I hope that guardian angel will show
    And scare them away
    So there is no dismay
    LOL the be one of the weirdest cause of death ever
    And are you sure that's a lady in that endeavor?

    haha I suppose it is good they are a bit shy
    And besides it's fun catching them in a lie
    Never heard of the fartist though
    Will give it a look arter my flow

    LOL a grammar mistake from you
    Look what the farts made you do..haha

    glad it is funny shit
    And sometimes it literally is with a fart fit..haha

    Yeah I could think of nothing that wasn't crass
    So I gave it a go with my little rhyming ass
    A fart symposium sounds like a grand term to use
    Although it might abuse and confuse

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  24. "and the farts are going to fly"
    that is why me is always carrying a gas mask in my Prada bag when me pops over here, my precious.... :)

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  25. By the look on the face of the man in the doorway, I sure hope it's a ladyy!!! Hahaha

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  26. After a night out drinking my brothers and their pals used to sit lined up on the couch and wait for them to be ready each with a lighter and they'd all fart at the same time and set light to them with such a woooshhh! I learned what the saying meant then 'flaming arses'...lol Silly sods. Had a few giggles here, (sorry no farts though) Loved this Pat :)

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  27. Never have been a Botero fan
    but your rhyme at least made looking less bland!
    I think I'll stay away from beans
    and run on the treadmill to stay extra lean.
    The size of those thighs was just scary
    At least they weren't hairy.
    lol...

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  28. So that's what they were doing at Abu Ghraib, flatulence control! I like the Swiftean angle you take on this. Kind of like a Modest Proposal on flatulence, huh? :)

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  29. Lol awesome pics to go with the poem!

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  30. This is great, Pat. I've got to think Botero has a sense of humor. Do you know that my Kindle Scrabble game wouldn't let me use the word fart last night?! It would have been a triple word score, too. Dang. I removed it from my device this morning!

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  31. Oh my gosh, this is pretty much the best thing I've read today. You rock. I don't think I will ever stop laughing, Pat. :)

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  32. Only the big people are featured
    Convenient to think they are weird
    Fernando took a brilliant twist
    They are intimidating to say the least
    Of big subjects not quite a dish
    Their farts could be a big release
    Make sure you're not anywhere near
    Then healthy air is yours have no fear

    Hank

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  33. LOL that is probably a good thing for you to do
    Did the penguins give that piece of advice to you

    LOL I hope for his sake too
    But kind of looks manish between me and you

    hahaha flaming arses that's a good one
    Watching that must have been fun
    Until the stink
    Then you might want to head for a different rink

    I never even heard of him until dVerse
    So figured I'd go with the farts and not curse
    LOL yeah hairy thighs would be scary
    They certainly wouldn't pass for a fairy..haha

    haha that sounds like a great title for it
    Not sure though how modest I was with my fit...haha

    Glad it was fun
    As I played with my fart gun

    Well that is a stupid game
    Fart's a word so that is just lame
    I'd get rid of it too
    Flush that game down the loo
    Yeah I hope his sense of humor is grand
    Or the cat may end up in blogger blocked land..haha

    LOL glad lots of laughs were had
    And the best thing too just pleases this lad
    Errr um cat
    And maybe Pat

    LOL yes I'd want to be far far away
    And can run pretty fast at my bay
    So if I see a leg lift
    Or here a certain rift
    Off I will go
    Fast not slow

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  34. No, and as big as those thighs are that would be a lot of shaving
    not to mention, the bath tub would be caving.
    lol....

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  35. LOL need an awful big tub too
    But hey at least maybe it's true
    That they could save on water at their bay
    After all it expands so wouldn't need much to fill it with the weight they display..haha

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  36. Those pics are wild! That was very creative how you incorporated them into the rhyme.

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  37. It is amazing how the topic of farting transcends generations and makes us all chuckle--even with our noses plugged.

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  38. Gas?
    I'll pass.
    Did you see the pun?
    Stylin' on everyone.

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  39. Those are some of the most weirdest pictures I've seen.

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  40. This post was so smart, it made me wanna fart .
    Good post Pat :-)

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  41. great post. the pics are obnoxious. i mean they really are.
    lol.

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  42. haha yeah wild indeed
    The forest is where some should be freed..haha

    LOL I'll take your word for it
    As you seem to think they are a hit

    Sure you are
    Near and far

    LOL yeah it just flows will all ages
    Transcending the pages
    Curling up our noses
    Unlike roses

    Yes I saw the pun
    Was quite fun
    Within rhyme too
    Look at you

    LOL yeah they were quite weird to me too
    They stil are after I've given them a view

    LOL a smart fart
    Now I can take that to heart

    hahaha yeah they really are
    Might even go a bit too far

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  43. Lol... farts. Well I like how you managed to string art through it, that's impressive

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  44. i didn't like the violent art amid the playful lyrics, but otherwise i thought it was hysterical.

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