Today I may get a little crude and maybe even a tad rude. But you are used to it and you can blame dVerse for this little fit. As they showed some art and the first thing I thought was fart. Hey! It's not a bad word everyone does it so no need to flip me the bird. You can pretend you don't but it's a lie. So I'm just going to let it rip and the farts are going to fly.
Having a case of gas is no joke,
The more you hold it the more your insides choke.
So don't be an embarrassed bloke,
And give those farts a poke.
Of course you must follow some rules,
Or suffer the wrath of fools.
But never fear that cat is here,
To teach you the etiquette to farting out your rear.
You could be left in a mess.
The air could get trapped and linger.
So when wearing a dress no pull my finger.
When the gas gives a call.
This is the easiest way,
But don't moon others as it could cause dismay.
The air will send you for a flip,
And you might fall to your death,
So go inside and hold your breath.
No matter your display.
At least the blanket will wipe it up,
If a wet one gives a hiccup.
You can really play a tune from the heart.
Okay, maybe it's your butt.
Oh and above all, don't piss off a mutt.
I guess farting makes them irate.
Maybe they smell what you ate off your plate.
The same goes for your date.
Your stink making them cough.
You'll sure get beat off too,
With plenty of bruises to view.
So don't sit and pout.
Get creative with your fart.
It truly can be an art.
Your stench still causes grief.
Even if you lift your leg when doing it.
Plus it's a dead giveaway a fart was lit.
You won't only offend rover.
But from people holding their breath all day,
A big head may form and be on display.
As we will stop ridding you of rat.
Because we can even smell in on the roof top.
But other than all of this feel free to fart non-stop!
I have to admit I never thought I'd be doing fart facts. But looking at the facial expressions from some the painting acts. It is what popped into my head. I hope all my farting didn't cause you too much dread. Not to mention the nude art. But I guess you all can take it to fart. Strat! I better leave as there is quite a lot of gas, even for my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.