Friday, January 13, 2012

Third Time's The Charm. This Time Some Want To Cause Harm!

The cat does not know what has magically occurred as of late but many weirdos people seem to be finding me at an alarming rate. I don't mean all of you so "don't have a fit" which was typed by someone that came to view. That's right! We are once again going to shed some light on who the search engines send my way. Some seem to have serial killer tendencies at play.

Those Looking For a Deal on a Meal

"fried squirrel photo"

Well Brian did say they tasted like chicken a while back. I guess many agree with his comment whack. This person most have wanted to see if they were doing it right before they took a bite.

"cat tail hamburger"

Really? Who the heck would take a cat tail and set sail, sticking it between a bun. A tail-less cat would just be no fun. If this becomes a trend something will have to be done. Can you imagine grocery stores selling cat tails by the ton?

"mice themed recipes"

Now this is more my style. The cat has a whole file on how to cook a mouse. I'll even get the things out of your house. Unlike some prissy cats I know over at some other show.

"mouse crossbreeding graph"

This was search four times, no joke. Almost made me choke. When have I should a mouse crossbreeding graph here? I didn't even know there was such a thing to fear. Plus wouldn't it be mice? So said someone searched this more than twice.

"more than one way to skin a cat"

So now that you are done with the tail you want to hang us across some rail, skin us and cooked us up. I hope your eyes burn from hot coffee spilled out of your cup.

The Horribly Confused and Maybe Abused

"does fan and cat rhyme?"

Unless you are two I don't think any rhyming should ever be done by you. Not even the most ungodly accent can make those rhyme. You're better off finding a career as a mime.

"spot winkie"

This isn't some Where's Waldo place, you don't have to spot a face. Or are you missing something you nicknamed down below. I can guarantee it isn't at my show. Come in out of the cold and your spot may once again take hold.

"forum poor little dinosaur haha that's nasty"

Hmmmm any ideas on this one? Seems to be randomly spun. A forum dinosaur is nasty I guess. I'm sure the dinosaur, being extinct and all, could care less.

"crazy song sgsgsgs"

Mike, D4, Gareth, you want to take this one? Any song with such a title somewhere under the sun? Or is this lurker over the rainbow and just doesn't know?

"intitle:snoring+%22post+a+comment%22+-%22you+must+be+logged"

I sooo hope that was a mistaken copy and paste. Otherwise what a big waste. Who would really type such a thing? If you did someone really donged your ding.

"21. april 2011 car exident drazin"

Hmmmm Drazin does have a big mouth and all, shouting his name as he nears my hall. But a car accident, I think not. Although on second thought. Maybe the Grammar Nazi tried to frame Drazin for this. As we all know spelling errors can make him hiss.

"how to rhyme to everything"

Is that rhyme for everything or rhyming everything. You have to be clear for the rhymes to fling.

An Ego Boost Here At My Roost

"pat hatt rhyme time"

Bah! That is a ego deflation, Pat is only around for maybe a summation. The cat is the one you should be looking for. Stupid Pat, have to stuff him in a drawer.

"most clever rhymes ever"

Awww you are so nice, you even searched it twice.

"rhyme time" questions and answers

You truly do find all you need or are just so confused by my feed, that by the time you leave here you think your questions are answers and vice versa thanks to my little rhyming rear.

"germy dirty keyboard"

That's right, join in on the OCD fight. Clean that keyboard and avoid the germs. Have to love such search terms.

"strat hits the fan"

Even found me through the video I made for Pat. Aren't I just a talented cat?

"mr. cool cat" meow song book

Sorry, no meowing song book though. Maybe I will have to look into that for my show.

And Now The Scary. Someone Obviously Ate a Rotten Berry

"golly gee im a lucky boy"

Did you really have to come and announce such an affair? Why my lair?

"spider bite on dogs balls"

Ummmmm really? Did you look down and have a feely? Bad enough you bring dogs into my shack. But spiders going on the ball biting attack. And you came here twice for it. I hope your dog can at least still sit.

"dirty words to rhyme with tash"

I guess someone is over watching M.A.S.H. and you do know there is no more soap, now they just pluck out an eyelash.

"claudia walldoom"

Look out Claudia someone is trying to cause your wall doom! They might make it go boom. Which one I don't know though. Maybe it will be over at the dVerse show.

"hell expanding funny"

How is such a thing funny I must ask? Unless in its warmth you like to bask.

"i'm feeling a little off today wanna help turn me on" 2011

Here's one that will make most cringe once more. I guess someone felt it needed an encore.

"ugly animal pictures to hang on peoples doors"

Bah, any human face will do for this. Just pick one, you can't miss.

"ugly ass face prank"

Are you going to put your ass in a face? Ohh that would just be such a horrible embrace.

"nothing much i can say here if you are one of them, get away "

One of who? A ghost that goes boo? Ohhh one of them you mean. Yeah, them are so unclean. Them shouldn't be seen. Them aren't usually lean. Them want me to stop. Them are going to call a cop.

And the winner of this one, yes, I know there have been a ton. But this one really takes the cake and shows someones mind has begun to shake and bake. Who would type this anyway? Not that I couldn't do them my way. Still, this crazy person might need to pop a pill.

"rhyming death threats"

So normal death threats aren't good enough anymore? They need to rhyme as you yell through the door. What have I done? The rhyming is spreading to everyone. From the fillers to the psycho serial killers. I really better watch my back some rhyming death threat might attack. But you still won't stop my sass and that is all for this edition of the search engine retort given by my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

55 comments:

  1. You're doing a good service by attracting the loonies and saving us the hassle.....

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  2. Yours is far more interesting than mine. Lol

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  3. Haha, your searches are actually awesome man, you should be glad you get these things haha. If I'd searched and found you using some of this stuff I would feel so incredibly guilty right now lmao.

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  4. You should def consider writing a book of these mate, you could even publish on amazon kindle for next to no costs

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  5. hehe great post my man .. favorite stop for me ^^

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    Replies
    1. spider bite on dog balls about made me fall out i laughed so hard, these people need a card or sign to carry around to keep them out of our town..i love reading these searches my clever rhymer ever...

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  6. I never looked to see what search engines send my way, but I assure you, it must be gay!

    I did it again, I speak like you. I guess rhyming is the thing to do!

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  7. I'm missing the smash a printer, love it better than have a nice fall :)

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  8. I'm with Brian
    laughing so hard that I'm cryin'
    Really need to have a look at mine
    and see if any would make a post sublime
    Dirty words to rhyme with tash
    maybe tashtoo was writing trash!
    I'm sure you had fun typing this up
    might have spilled your apple juice cup!
    Almost spit coffee, it's true
    if I'd ruined my laptop, I'd blame you!

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  9. look ~ Brian only replied instead of commented
    does that count in your numbers? You might lament! ha.

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  10. One can never know who one will attract! A lot of weirdos out there!

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  11. i am beginning to like this blog..... good post bro

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  12. haha I never looked at it that way
    But I guess if I can help them avoid your bay
    And still have fun
    Why not let it be done

    amazing
    Thanks for gazing

    LOL the loonies come here
    Sometimes it strikes fear

    Yeah it gives me some fun to be had
    So I don't mind if the crazies find my pad
    I'd be guilty too being caught with this stuff
    Dog balls and flea bites must be rough

    Never thought about that before
    But it could be something else to add to the list at my shore

    A favorite stop you say
    Makes my day

    LOL I first saw it I laughed too
    Knew that one had to be given a view
    At least if they had a card to see
    I'd know which one were truly crazy

    haha you never know
    could be some interesting ones at your show
    Yes rhyming has to be done
    You do it just fine under my rhyming sun

    Sorry Dez old habits die hard
    My mind went to fall when I typed the ending today at my yard
    But I fixed that
    Just for you at my mat

    LOL I first saw the dog one I spit too
    Lucky just into the cup in came due
    Never know what you might have there
    Could put numb tongue to shame at your lair
    LOL don't blame the cat
    Should keep in mind when reading to avoiding coffee at your mat

    Nope it still counts
    To the amounts
    Brian must have hit the wrong one
    Isn't this dumb added rpeply thing fun

    Yep A LOT of true weirdos out there
    Thank God they don't leave comments at my lair

    Glad it has begun
    For you to like my fun

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    Replies
    1. Oh, yeepee, there's the smashed printer again :)

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  13. Well, you know Brian..flying through
    on his way to visit a million and two.

    Yes, can always find ant spray numb tongue
    I'm not the only one that sang that song.

    We got windchills below zero today
    I'm asking it to blow your way.
    Just a warning to find your slippers
    whether they be peacock, moose or flippers!

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  14. Yeah Brian just flys about
    With his his millionth shout
    We had that windchill yesterday
    With a foot of snow our way
    But now it's all nice and warm
    The calm after the storm

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  15. I get some strage ones too and some that make sense. Some people are just really bent. But strat hits the fan a compliment makes to your book a tag line. I've got a few doozies, but none can top mice themed recipes and spiders biting balls.

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  16. Yeah a compliment indeed with that one
    And I'm sure you have a ton that are fun
    In a strange kind of way
    Spiders biting dog balls may never be topped at my bay..lol

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  17. Dear Pat you never stop!! (lol) nice:)

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  18. "spider bite on dogs balls."

    Now that is curious.

    This a true sign of success; and a good reminder of why I enjoy being an anonymous blogger.

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  19. I can't believe how people enter full sentences in searches, as opposed to only the important words.

    I do like "exident." Sounds like "accident" with a foreign accent.

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  20. That rhymes?
    Grammar crimes

    I never stop indeed
    Here at my feed

    Yeah it was curious to me too
    Never talked about such a thing at my zoo
    Anonymity does have it's perks I will say
    But bah it is fun making fun at my bay

    I know
    Who really wants to type all that out in a row
    You may find what you want
    But judging by my little taunt
    I don't think they did
    Probably flipped their lid
    And exident was you right?
    Trying to run Drazin over on sight..haha

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  21. I think your spider bite on the huevos got everyone giggling. hahaha

    LMAO @ ugly animal pics to hang on people's doors. That got me thinking 1) Why do you need to tell google what you are going to do w/ the animal pics? 2) Was the rhyming cat ugly enough and who's door is he hanging on?! hahaha

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  22. OH MY Hope not have mistakes today (lol)

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  23. LOL yeah the spider bite
    Sure seemed to bring the giggles to a new height
    Uh oh I used that word
    Are you going to flip me the bird?..haha
    I believe it was that Tarsier Man guy they were looking for
    But the cat can scare the rats away at his shore
    Or maybe it was Pat
    He is one ugly human at that...lol

    Mistakes my be made
    But then you could join the fun search engine parade..haha

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  24. Those are crazy searches but the ones with your name is certainly a boost. How to rhyme everything..now that something I would like to learn...

    Lousy weather here...hope you are keeping warm ~

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  25. nice share

    hi their do you now how to put threaded commenting

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  26. shhh ...Don't tell my dog about the spider bites ... Oh.. that's right, he doesn't have any little round objects to object to being bitten anymore. He was fixed by a vets little bag of tricks.. OMGoodness, you have my rhyming ...AGAIN! haha

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  27. Yep, that sounds like evolution to me, no more do mere death threats call neer-do-wells glee, not they need to be in rhyme, each and every diabolical time. I love this topic, glad to see the weirdos are still searching nutty things and somehow to your bush their mouse does ring. I'm sure Cocoa can share a few of his mouse recipes with you too. I do find it pretty crazy how the search engine thing works, where a, why would someone think to search such things, but then some of those that lead back to your site make you want to stop and blink. Fun piece. Rhyming Death Threats- That certainly sounds like it could catch. I do hope Drazin is all right, for eccidents sure can cause the frights.. Thanks.

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  28. Sorry that I haven't been around for awhile but I'm glad I did today because it's a free smile.

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  29. I spotted a few btk references.. unless im just being morbid.

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  30. Yep they are quite the boost
    As they bring people to my roost
    Learning to rhyme everything isn't so tough
    Can do it if you try enough
    At least I think
    But some might hit the brink
    Warm I am at my sea
    As it is kind of nasty

    Threaded commenting not a clue
    On exactly how that comes due

    LOL see you saved him from spider bites
    Down below out of sights
    Maybe he should be thankful for being fixed
    Even if the humping was nixed..haha

    LOL yeah it is amazing how the nuts find us
    Usually many are on the crazy bus
    But it seems everybody searches some crap
    That makes them look like a sap
    Don't know how they find me
    But they are quite fun to see

    Bah life gets in the way
    Glad you enjoyed once more coming to my bay

    Nope nothing morbid here
    Well except for those rhyming death threats that my cause fear

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  31. Sure... cat and fan rhyme... Have another sip, pal. Dirty words that rhyme with tash? Here's one: the-IRS-took-all-of-my-escape-from-the-province-cash.
    Take care, Pat :)

    P.S. There's nothing funny about a cat without a tail. You've got that right. I've got two cats myself and cat #1 bit off cat #2's tail: OUCH!

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  32. These are HILARIOUS! My favorite was the one about "fan" and "cat" ROFL!

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  33. These are way more interesting than mine.

    Seriously, combine any word + derp and you'll end up at my blog. :P

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  34. How funny - you sure do attract a lot of weirdos. How do you even know who searched and how they find you anyway??

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  35. Those are some really weird search terms.

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  36. LOL yeah might need quite a few sips to get there
    But when you're that drunk what should you care
    Yeah that surely is a dirty word
    The IRS is quite absurd
    Poor cat that must have been awful to go through
    Hopefully cat two gave cat one the payback that was due

    haha yeah fan and cat
    They rhyme right? Pfft maybe if you are as dumb as a door mat

    Any word you say
    Some could be quite interesting to display

    I'll send a rat burger to you
    Hopefully you can enjoy it with some stew

    I have no idea who searched me
    All I know is what they typed in the search engine to get to my sea
    Under stats is where you find that
    Can be found on any blogger mat

    Hopefully you don't eat such meals
    Although they can be steals

    Weird indeed
    But then so is my feed

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  37. I would never send a poorly rhymed death threat. That's just rude.

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  38. Wow, excellent blog's here, will defo be following you :) Keep it up

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  39. Great rhyming love this one:)

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  40. Yeah they can be fun
    So I give them a run

    LOL yeah you may as well make it count
    So once is all you need and the death threats don't mount

    Glad you like
    As I going on a rhyming hike

    Thanks for that
    From the cat

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  41. Spider bites on dog balls
    truly appalls.
    Come to think of it, so what?
    Because, a dog I am not.

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  42. Thanks for that
    From the cat

    LOL I suppose it would not matter to you
    But when the dog had to use the loo
    If some howls came out
    It might cause you to shout
    Or put earplugs in
    Either way spider bites there are a sin

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  43. I'm not sure which was funnier, the search terms or the asides.

    I never get any as good as that. Though I did have two people check out my blog to see if Disney is making Tangled Two. That's what I get for dissecting the movie over two blog posts. :D

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  44. Laughing and giggling
    I try to comment
    But I want to scroll up
    And read it all over again
    Mice-centric recipes and oh, the poor cat
    Better shield its rhyming rear from attacks
    The confusions did get me confused
    But laugh, I did, so did my muse
    The rhyming duo of Pat and the cat
    Impress better than the rabbit out of a hat
    The scary must've teamed up with the confused
    But your follow-up comments did leave me amused
    With a death threat that rhymes
    Must be some poetic crime
    To be able to rhyme 'fan' and 'cat'

    And i guess, it ends at that. :D

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  45. "does fan and cat rhyme?"

    wow. really?

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  46. haha well at least you get Disney ones
    They usually arent crazy or looking to cure the runs
    Movie posts are so fun too
    So they have to be done no matter who comes to view

    haha what a fun rhyme you gave
    Here at my rhyming cave
    I guess the nuts that find me
    Can get some kind of glee
    Out of you looking twice
    Or maybe it was my added rhyming spice
    Glad I can impress better than a rabbit too
    Because otherwise that just wouldn't do

    LOL my reaction too
    They must have been loaded between me and you

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