Tuesday, January 3, 2012

With This dVerse Edition We Go On An Expedition!

This could get a bit dVerse as the cat goes through this strange rhyming universe. I want that damn goose. You know, that one that has golden eggs come out its caboose. So I figured I would talk to the dVerse cast of characters in rhyme land and see if they could give the cat a hand. It was anything but bland. But I'm not quite sure it would be considered grand. For they just can't keep up with me having one whole rhyme when I have many. Anyway, here we go, as it's time for the show.

The golden eggs I want.
They're so shiny they taunt.
The cat must have the goose.
Not some lame Canadian moose.

So off to find a clue,
And prove this legend true.
As I delve into rhyme land,
For a helping hand.

Georgie Porgie was no help,
He just made girls yelp.
Humpty Dumpty was on crack.
And fell from his shack.

Some twinkling star,
Blinded me from afar.
Simple Simon had no hair,
And kept whining about a fair.

The weasel went pop.
Someone called a cop.
Many were busy patting a cake,
When it would take less time to bake.

That black sheep,
Was a real creep.
Would not share its wool,
With three bags full.

The rain came on down,
And it almost made me drown.
Rain rain would not go away,
Like it did another day.

I chased people around the rosy,
But they thought I was nosy.
John Jacob jingled too much,
As he walked on his crutch.

Some cat had a fiddle,
And sang about a diddle diddle.
Sadly I've be fixed,
So that idea was nixed.

From some Alexander,
I heard of Goosey Goosey Gander.
Had my hopes high,
But it was just some costume wearing guy.

Londen bells started to ring,
As the queen of hearts let her hands fling.
I wasn't going to bow,
No matter how she raised her ugly eyebrow.

That Itsy Bitsy Spider I ate,
I missed supper, don't hate.
The piper seemed calm,
As his son Tom was the bomb.

But neither knew a helpful fact,
Wee Willie Winkie was a scary act.
Old Mother Hubbard was a senile bat,
She thought I was a dog and not a cat.

Three blind mice were well blind,
So they couldn't help my behind.
Mary chased her lamb,
As she yelled I feel for a scam.

Some hush a bye baby song,
At some points sounded so wrong.
Just eat an apple a day,
And all will be right at your bay.

A Peter Pumpkin eater,
Picked me up in some old beater.
But he crashed the car,
Trying to open another pumpkin jar.

Good thing too,
Because London Bridge fell from view.
I guess it was some trick or treat,
As it had to smell too many feet.

Polly had a kettle,
And it wasn't made of metal.
It was pure gold.
I listened as her tale took hold.

She said what I seek,
Lied with those who squeal not squeak.
Some little piggies I guess,
They needed the eggs to cure some toe jam mess.

I guess it cost a lot,
To have it fixed by a robot.
I ignored the wee wee one,
The one who stayed home was no fun.

The roastbeef was good,
The other had nothing but wood.
Finally at the market it was found,
The goose sat on the ground.

The pig wanted a ton,
So I snatched the goose and began to run.
It then popped out an egg,
And it hit my leg.

The thing burst open all over me.
It was so gross to see.
I started to pout,
As it turns out,

If touched by a rhyming cat,
The gold falls flat.
The eggs go normal forever more.
No one knew that bit of lore.

So I set the thing free,
And it sailed up into a tree.
Giving me some snarky honking roar,
As I went home empty handed and yes, I swore.

How do you like those facts? Of all the rhyming acts and I am the one that makes the gold go away. Oh that just caused me so much dismay. But I guess it was a fun time strolling through the land of rhyme. After all I got to prove that with their one whole rhyming groove, they pale in mass when compared to my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

67 comments:

  1. tom tom the pipers son....had not thought about him in a while...nice bit of nursery rhyming smiles today cat, even giving the mice a chance to play...

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  2. Love the rhythm of this one, it sounds so playful when you are reading it!


    click here

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  3. Good job I bought my explorers hat for this expedition

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  4. Forge, Yes sounds like a playful, Pat /Cat ls absolutely nice, remember me fun things, like Humpty Dumpty, lol

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  5. hahaha Oh, this was great
    one of my favorites at any rate.
    Too bad you didn't see Mother Goose
    Knowing all the nursery rhyme secrets she would have let loose
    and warned you about touching the one that laid
    golden eggs which she had made.
    But you ended up with egg on your pants
    I'm sure that made you do an OCD dance.
    Better than egg on your face, I say.
    That would really cause dismay.
    ha.

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  6. This isn't wack and that's a DVerse fact! Cheers for the supportive comments on my blog too man, they honestly mean a lot Pat.

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  7. Always a twist or trick with those characters. Worth the trip for the wondrous parade of familiar faces. :D

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  8. good job on that poem!!! now following

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  9. I think you first have to plan the magic bean in order to find the Golden Goose and her eggs :) But since we know beans make you fart, and I don't think magic bean results with magic farts... you better forget about that business, Cat :)

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  10. You ate a spider? Forget about you breaking the goose and her golden egg maker...You ATE a spider. Ew.

    ...and it sounds to me like you egged yourself...who does that?? What a spaz...hahahaha

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  11. Yeah I figured the mice could play
    Then I'd eat them to their dismay
    Gave the nursery rhymes a run
    As I went about my fun

    Playful indeed
    Can usually be found at my feed

    Hopefully the hat didn't cost a lot
    When you went to join in on my rhymeland trot

    Glad I made you remember fun things
    With the nursery rhyme rings

    Mother Goose would not show her caboose
    I blame some scary moose
    Yeah the egg really curled my toes
    Causing my ocd woes
    Stupid golden egg temptation caused all of this
    Should have stayed home with the paw picker miss priss..haha

    Supportive you say
    Shhh don't spread that around my way..haha

    They sure were a parade
    And some would just not fade

    Good job you say
    Here at my bay

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  12. haha those magic beans to make me fart
    But I can take that to heart
    Then I can get lots of gas
    And have something to end rhyme with my little rhyming ass

    Cats eat spiders all the time
    What is the crime?
    They add protein to the diet
    Especailly good if you fry it
    You should try it
    Instead of burning your place down in a fit...haha
    It popped the egg out on me
    I didn't have it in my hand and throw it at myself like someone else, who could that be?..haha

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  13. ahaha I picture you talking to people this in real life, like some sorte of bard or something

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  14. hahaha now that would be something to do
    Maybe I should travel from town to town and put on a show to view

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  15. You're at the top of your game with this one Pat. Contrary Mary with pretty maids and cockleshells couldn't make a garden grow, but looking here, it's very clear that a cat and a goose don't go.

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  16. Glad my game is on top
    And it was not a flop
    That Mary can be contrary to me
    As I pooed in her garden you see
    So it would not grow
    But shh she doesn't know

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  17. Great rhymes!
    Nice blog.
    +Follow

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  18. Surely you wouldn't ask Mother Goose
    to show her caboose!
    She's prim, proper and old
    Probably wanted to give you a scold.
    Maybe faint and gasp
    at what you ask.
    lol.

    Oh, back to work
    where you blog and lurk
    Did Cass have to stay in the cone
    or did a sock she have to bemoan?

    And did you sabotage your desk
    so people couldn't find their request
    to steal your stapler or rubber bands
    and find booby traps all over your land?

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  19. Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold
    This rhyming cat sure knows his stuff
    Consider yourself told...
    Off and running for another New Year
    This is the Face It Fact I fear
    But hope you rang yours in really well
    Wouldn't that be oh so swell?
    Sending love and sending thanks
    You know dear Cat you top my ranks
    and as this post is most dVerse
    this rhyming bug can be a curse
    But thank you Pat for all you do
    I going to give the facts a view.
    And with that said, she turns her head
    And a big Happy New Year too!

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  20. It's like making fun of my youngest moments and I love it.

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  21. With gold prices as they are right now, a goose with a gold laying caboose would come in handy. Time to go set my traps.

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  22. Nice nursery rhyming from the king of rhyme :)

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  23. I get more support
    Here at my court

    Another follow too
    Whatever will I do

    haha yeah that fainting would not do
    She might squish the cat if she fell over out of the blue
    So I will forgo that
    Don't want to be a flat cat

    Yeah lurking and working today
    Here at my way
    I took out some packing tape and a goss pad
    And wrapped it around her pad just a tad
    Better not take it off either I will say
    Or I'll throw her out of my bay..haha
    Yep hid some junk all about before I went
    Hoping to make anyone get bent
    Some things were moved so I know they were here
    Hopefully I struck fear with my crappy work gear

    See the swearing has to come do
    After such a tale, it's just true

    I'm sick
    well as long as no germs prick
    My skin
    That be a sin

    haha yes I know my stuff
    As I go and huff and puff
    Or at least I can fake it quite well
    But shhh don't tell
    Yeah it can be a gift or a curse
    But then things could be worse
    I could be a mime
    And that would be a crime
    The last face it facts I will tell
    Is happy new year to you as well

    hahaha yeah I had to make fun of all of those
    I think all have heard them as one grows

    So very true
    I'll help you
    Then we can split the take
    And go buy a big house on the lake

    The king of rhyme
    Will try to remain in his prime

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  24. Humpty Dumpty was never all that he was cracked up to be. :)
    Now, I think I need to go and lay down. LOLOL

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  25. hahaha that was good
    And don't have a great fall hurt yourself you could.

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  26. Did you just tell me to eat a spider?????????

    That poor little goose was minding its own business when some little cat came along and scooped it up out of greed!! It was a golden egg laying goose too! ...what did you expect it to do? Hold it in? Don't blame the goose for your clumsiness! :)

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  27. dazzled. I'm left dazzled by this post and the thought of gold.

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  28. This should be placed at the end of every nursery rhyme book.

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  29. hey this is really cool...even as a german, i knew quite some of them...cool..made me happy...haha...nicely woven sir..

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  30. Yep just told you to eat a spider
    Add some apple cider
    It goes down well
    The cat must tell
    Real chewy too
    I'm sure it will taste good to you
    haha the goose wouldn't share
    So I had to ensnare
    I wanted the gold
    And yes it should have held it, not pop out it's yucky egg mold haha

    Dazzled that is new
    Seems you had a golden view..haha

    Would that be fun
    Then the cat could get a percentage of each one

    Even to a german it made sense
    Geez I'm losing my touch as I give my ten cents..haha
    But I made you happy
    So I won't get flappy

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  31. What a fun way to weave all these rhymes..very creative pat.

    I just have to say..how come you don't want the Canadian moose hey? Enjoyed this much ~

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  32. "Bah bah black sheep,
    have you any wool?"
    "Get your own damn sweater
    ya cheap ass fool."

    Sorry, all I got today.

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  33. smiling all the way through... great ending!

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  34. Wow, that was great, I forgot all about those songs from very young. Yet the words came back as If I had just heard them. That sucks about the cat not being able to get the gold, but instead of letting it loose, you should have got someone to get the gold and trade it in, then the Cat could be more than just the Rhyming King, but a rich, rich cat forever more, I guess the richness will have to remain with lore…Unless that pat guy shares his novel profits with you, or you learn to hack a bit, then perhaps that goose won't be lost. I really have no idea where I was going with that, but that seemed like a good spot to stop that spot. Great job, love the recall you have here.

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  35. nice capture of childhood friends...

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  36. HA! I loved this and I very loudly lol'd at "Humpty Dumpty was on crack.
    And fell from his shack." - hahaha brilliantly done, and yet again you leave me rolling in a head full of rhymes, ah well it livens up my mental ramblings haha - truly great stuff here, had fun reading! nice!

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  37. I wonder how one goes about frying a golden egg, and if the nutritional benefits outweigh the heavy metal poisoning?

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  38. Enjoy your winter smash a printer.... hmm I'm going to try to think of one you can use for summer that involves smashing printers lol

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  39. This is another one of my favs! You're so talented. It amazes me how you can write such great posts every day and still write books too.

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  40. Does the cat never sleep? It must have taken ages to come up with this genius rhyme. Loved it but I prefer a happy ending. Give the cat the gold!!

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  41. No diddle diddle for the cat's who's been fixed...
    laugh out loud good!

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  42. Those moose just get in the way
    You can honk and they still stay
    And yep can weave away
    As always at my bay

    hahaha hey it works out well
    You put that cheap ass through hell

    Glad I could provide you
    With a smile all the way through

    Yeah I forgot half too
    Until this one began due
    But as soon as you hear the words they come back
    Giving the brain a kick start attack
    A rich rich cat forever more would be nice
    Then I'd just get fat eating mice
    That Pat guy doesn't like to share
    But then I can always steal from him at our lair

    Captured the friends
    To no ends

    Glad it was loved by you
    That is true

    haha twisted I can be
    When get egg pooped on especially

    hahaha the humpty dumpty crack
    Was too good not to use at my shack
    All this rhyme has to be going to your head
    Hopefully it doesn't cause dread

    Hmmmm that is a good question indeed
    I'll just sell it and cop out to greed

    Hmmm have a nice summer
    Smash a printer like a drummer?..haha

    Another fave to your list
    It amazes me I still have a wrist..haha
    I just keep going at it at my bay
    My muse just seems to need its say

    The cat never does sleep at the moment, it's true
    With some stupid paw thing that came due
    This only actual took maybe 30 mins max to do
    Here at my zoo

    hahaha stupid Pat getting me fixed
    I should have really got that idea nixed

    Glad it's pretty cool
    Even if I am a fool

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  43. Interesting.

    I have mixed feelings, mainly cause of length; there's good AND bad in here.

    What I WILL say is keep writing. You have commitment.

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  44. hahaha that cat never shuts up
    So if that is a hiccup
    So be it I guess
    Will go on and on sometimes I must confess

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  45. What a brilliant place to visit..so pleased I stumbled on your incredible pages ..ELiza Keating

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  46. Wow - I think you got them all in there!

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  47. fixed/nixed! lol

    I always smile when I visit your words. You have a gift and share it freely. I adore your poetry.

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  48. Just don't stumble and fall
    You may hit a wall..haha

    I get quite a few
    But I might have missed one or two

    hahaha yeah that had to be said
    As it just popped in my head
    Share it freely I do
    How could I charge you

    Fantastic is nice
    Can say that twice

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  49. Pat wants to skin some nursery rhymes,
    He'll have fun, whatever the time,
    Pat be nimble, Pat be quick,
    Pat don't mess around with the rhyming bit!

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  50. Hey the cat and the fiddle
    Your cat got the better of the dog
    The cow sure is easy to handle
    Bulky and unwieldy over the moon
    Great future for cats in 2012
    Roll them on the rhymes and rhythms
    Looking forward for more that's for certain!

    Hank

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  51. Enjoyed the poem. One clever kitty:))

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  52. Very interesting take on the good ole Mother Goose Rhymes.

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  53. Or maybe messes around too much
    Way more then a touch
    So it looks like there is none
    Oh what fun..haha

    The future sure doesn't look bleak
    At my rhyming peak
    Lets hope it stays that way
    And the dog never has his day

    The cat is very clever
    With this rhyming endeavour

    Had to give mother goose a take
    With the rhyme I decided to bake

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  54. this can't help but provoke a smile... and i *love* that you used the word "snarky" there at the end!

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  55. you make my weasel pop pat...and that is that:)

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  56. hahaha hmmm that could sound rather dirty if you think about it
    But I won't let my mind fall into such a pit..haha

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  57. hey Mr Pal Hatt with a witty o'l cat
    please go on and on without any hiccups
    as your verse make us smile and laugh without any breakups.

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  58. Just found your blog today. It certainly is... interesting...

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  59. Cool and fun,
    like all the other ones.
    Pat, you've got the knack
    and I hope you come back...

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  60. haha glad there are no breakups that ensue
    That just would not do
    And I will go on and on and on
    At my lawn

    hahaha yeah interesting is a good choice of words
    As I rhyme away and chow down on some birds

    I will always come back
    On the rhyme attack
    With my little rhyming rear
    Never fear

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