Friday, February 24, 2012

The Cat Is Another Year Old Or So I'm Told!

The cat is now a big old three here at my sea. So that makes me what? Twenty one if you go by human years like a mutt. Pat fills my gut nice and good and as well he should. Got my very own steak and Miss Priss doesn't want to partake. So I get it all to myself and chew it down at my shelf. But speaking of food I don't want to be rude. I must not neglect those I occasionally detect and also eat. They are such a yummy treat. They helped the cat grow big and strong. Not looking back on them would be wrong.



This one just gets a mention because they cause tension and I have to get that fllea stuff put on to get the blood suckers gone. So they are crap and I'm glad when they take a dirt nap.

Who says the cat doesn't know how to treat a lady? I let her crawl some place shady. I nuzzle her with my nose and then down she goes. Okay, that last part might not be the way to a woman's heart.

These ugly suckers crawl real fast. But never fear, I soon make them a thing of the past. I stomp on them and let them run then I stomp on them again for fun. Then finally I chow them down. They are slimy but hey, it's all the same when it comes out brown.

I found one of these once too. It immediately caught my view. This thing thought it could hop higher than me. I proved it was no better than that blood sucking flea. Although it was quite the sight we hopped for a good hour one night. Yet it always ends the same with me chowing down at the end of the game.


When I am through no ants will be marching on and on at my zoo. The only one that shouts hurrah will be me when I pick them up on my paw and them slurp them down my belly. They tend to taste better with jelly.

These ugly suckers you have to catch fast or their taste doesn't last. They let loose all that webby stuff and it makes getting them down tough. They stick to your throat and make you cough them back up thanks to that webby coat. So it's best to crush them first and then eat them down in one quick burst.

But this one takes the cake and it makes me wide awake. As soon as I see one of these off I breeze. The thing zigs and zags and just when it lags, I catch it in my paw. But I never use the claw. For I have to let it go and chase it once more until it becomes slow. After that I end my attack and it too becomes a snack. Of course I must confess when I'm done chasing this everything is in a mess.

And what washes all that down? Why making a toilet paper crown. I mess with that stuff every day, as it rolls quite well and makes for fun play. I even eat a bit here and there. Unless Pat closes the door on me, which is just no fair. I need to learn how to use a knob then I can always have my toilet paper corn on the cob.

Of course there is the typical chow like stuff from a cow. But this is what truly made the cat big and strong. I know you humans think it is just so wrong. But as I turn three I just had to give a shout to all the yummy food that helped me get this far at my sea. I still can't get that blasted bird outside in a tree. But maybe that day will come to pass while for now I sit and watch wiggling my three year old little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

95 comments:

  1. Have either one of us slept Pat? We were just talking a few hours ago it seems. Cats are useful when catching pests, excel they do at this. But when it comes to paper, toilet type, they wind up with a crown.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat got a little sleep
      Though not so deep..haha
      Yes they get rid of all the pests really well
      Unless they are prissy as hell
      Which these two are not
      Yeah he wears that friggin crown a lot..haha

      Delete
  2. Is this stuff nutritious because it doesn't sound delicious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha actually it does have nutrients galore
      Or so I hear at my shore
      Look at you with a rhyme once more too
      Here at my zoo

      Delete
  3. Congratulations! It seems like only yesterday we met and I had to be not scared of this cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh the cat isn't very scary
      Not even that hairy
      Time does fly
      And that's no lie

      Delete
  4. Eating bug-a-boos might make one pooh!
    Glad you have plenty of toilet paper.
    The Cat may not make it to the box.
    :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yeah he has no fear there at all
      For he takes the toilet paper right down the hall
      So if an accident does occur
      He can easily wipe off his fur

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. haha got an awww out of you
      That is fun to do

      Delete
    2. Yup. A pet's birthday makes me go "Aw."

      Now, if it had been Pat's birthday, I might have said "Who gives a strat?" Haha!

      Delete
    3. hahahaha save that for one month to be exact
      Then you can give Pat that stratty act

      Delete
  6. Those are some ugly bugs! Happy birthday to the cat!!
    I think he deserves a treat today!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes nasty bugs indeed
      But he has some fun killing them so they don't breed..haha
      And he will get a treat
      In the form of some meat

      Delete
  7. why do me has a feeling you're making Fridays into a DISGUSTING DAY? Last week rats, the week before your fungus toenails, now bugs.... :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now Dez you are a little off with your day
      For the rats were saturday at my bay
      And the Zombie foot was a Thursday
      Shouldn't a movie news guy know each day?...hahaha

      Delete
    2. 'tis the same day for me when you keep hitting me with pics from nightmares :)

      Delete
    3. LOL good recovery that was
      I'll believe you just because

      Delete
  8. Happy birthday Orlin enjou your birthday:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He will enjoy like any other day
      Running around to play
      And destroying crap
      Letting his yap flap..haha

      Delete
  9. Does the cat need hugs for having to eat bugs?
    Won't his master feed him real food?
    Or does he only eat bugs when he's in the mood?

    Happy birthday to my feline friend!
    A birthday wish for you I will send!
    Have a good day and all that good stuff.
    And I'm not a whiny bitch, enough is enough! lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He only eats them when he is in the mood
      Sometimes he finds real food rude
      And wants to give human food a go
      Plus those bugs put on quite the show
      LOL okay there will be no more whiny bitch
      The cat has scratched that itch

      Delete
  10. happy birthday cat, and thanks for the heads up on what you eat, sound like a creepy crawly treat for your gullet, if you mess up the TP be kind and roll it up...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Creepy crawly treat indeed
      The bugs are so nice to feed
      The cat's tummy
      As he thinks they are yummy
      And NO he does not roll the tp back up
      That is the slight hiccup

      Delete
  11. Many happy returns Orlin, hope you get that bird you're after. Sounds more appetising than the insects :s

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That bird does sound more like a treat
      But chasing the bugs are kind of neat

      Delete
  12. Have a really happy birthday cat, hope that owner of yours Pat gives you everything you want and more than that, if you get no rat you'll be sure to say drat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He will give me tons of meat
      So that will be a treat
      But no rat
      So I guess there is a drat

      Delete
  13. the lady is so pretty, how kitty, how could you.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat had to chow down
      The lady should stay out of my town..haha

      Delete
  14. Well, Happy Birthday to Orlin! :)

    From ~ Mustache, Whiskers, Tiger, and Marmalade.

    And from Socks, Charcoal, Grey, and two black and whites which have no name.

    Oh, and Nugget, Mr. Bird and Mrs. Bird from the zoo.

    Oh, and Betsy, too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow that is a ton
      That gave the cat a run
      Even two with no name
      Who is to blame?
      Must feel left out
      Might make them pout..hahaha

      Delete
    2. Don't know the sex of them
      so no name has been given
      besides they look so much like
      the other black and whites
      I can't think of good names
      to give them just the same.
      I have 5 black and white now
      how did that happen? how?
      ha.

      Mother cat sends good wishes, too
      and gosh, she looked wide today, between me and you.
      She was either brave or starved this morning
      just came right up and ate without warning
      Didn't matter at all
      that I was standing there by the bowls!

      Next month on your birthday there will be more here
      to give you wishes there! lol.
      Maybe I'll ship you a kitten or two
      just to send birthday wishes to you!
      I've always heard that it's nice to share
      and you need more cats at your lair. :)

      Delete
    3. LOL I suppose with five black and white
      Could be hard to name them on sight
      Could call one black
      And the other white in the name attack
      Wait until more pop out
      Then could be another five black and white about..lol
      She must be hungry indeed
      Or really need to feed
      Having been so brave
      Coming from her cave
      LOL no more kitties for me
      Orlin would cut them off at the knee
      He does not like them at all
      And would surely send them flying from our hall..haha

      Delete
    4. I was trying to name them as a way to identify
      like Mustache and Tiger are the obvious guys.
      So I'll have to think of somethng soon
      before too many more come to the zoo.

      Taylor thinks Marmalade
      is too girly for that cat
      Maybe I should change it to Marmaduke
      what do you think of that?
      We shorten it to Marmy anyway
      btw...he's sitting on my lap today!

      Delete
    5. Hmmm need a generic name
      Then whether guy or girl it will sound tame
      If more come it could get crazy indeed
      As they all come for the feed

      To me it sounds a bit girlie too
      But marmy isn't a bad one to come due
      Just keep it short and all will be fine
      Had a Westie named Maramaduke at my line
      Not sure being named after a dog would work
      But he may see it as a perk..haha

      Delete
    6. A Westie?
      Awww...I bed he was the bestie.
      lol. They are so cute
      but you named him Marmaduke? hahaha.

      Delete
    7. yeah, and poor Marmy was named before I knew he was a he
      so I'll just let it be.
      Has more to do with his color
      than any thing other.

      Bought Whiskers a ball with a bell inside
      now she's doing a solo soccer ride
      all through the house
      more fun than a mouse.
      ha.

      Delete
    8. He was my grandmothers and was grand
      Then came another "dutches" to her land
      They were very fun
      Always ready to play and run

      We had an orange one we called Ginger a while back
      Thinking it was a she but it was a he at our shack
      So been there all the same
      They don't seem to mind their name
      hahaha she's really living it up
      While you drink from your coffee cup

      Delete
    9. She has actually tried to take a sip
      but my coffee will not be shared, not even a nip.

      So does Orlin really get a steak
      or did you just need that word a rhyme to make?

      Delete
    10. hahaha no one messes with that
      Not even a nice cat..haha

      Yep gets a big piece all to himself
      Here at my shelf

      Delete
    11. how about that
      what a lucky cat
      we used to give our cats a can of tuna
      on their birthdays and christmas, too. ha.

      does 'too, ha'
      rhyme with 'tuna'?
      lol.

      Delete
    12. He never had tuna that I can recall
      Might give him the runs then he would really need that tp ball
      It rhymes with the startof it
      So it does a little bit

      Delete
    13. how was the steak
      at your place?
      did you do three candles, too
      or didn't want to singe a whisker or two.
      haha.

      Delete
    14. He would prob eat those too
      Or be afriad of it and run off turning blue
      So I just gave him the meat
      And he chowed down purring as he continued to eat

      Delete
  15. Happy birthday cat!!!!!! A whopping 3 years old? Wow, seeing wrinkles yet? LOL

    Stop with the FLEAS!!! Now my knees are itchy. My poor, poor knees are going to be left with no skin left from all the scratching I'm doing.

    At least you know how to treat a lady. LOL Crickets are the SCARIEST bugs out there. Right behind a spider. You can eat all the crickets and spiders you want as long as they all leave me alone. Bleh, barf, gag! Just stay away from the poisonus ones.!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not a wrinkle to be had
      Still a young lad
      And for a big old three
      I had to mention the flea
      Didn't wish them on you that time though
      Guess all I need to do is show them now to make the itchiness flow..haha

      LOL you the cat treats them grand
      Although eventually they come out in the litter sand
      Might not like that part
      Or take it to heart
      Those crickets are a pain
      Annoying to the brain
      Chriping here and there
      The cat would eat them with ease in his lair
      And the spiders are always long gone
      No need to get all geared up when the cat is on duty at his lawn

      Delete
    2. How many times can you wish them on me? All it takes is one time for the scratching to start for life!!!! You doomed me for life, cat!!! :(

      Ewww, don't eat the spiders! Just get a large gladware specifically for spiders. Trap it in there. Then get a big pot to hold the tupperware down. Come back an hour later and it won't run. Be armed with hairspray and raid. Then spray until you run out. Next just vaccuum and mop, Voila! Spider is gone :)

      Delete
    3. hahaha all it takes is one time?
      Oh that is a crime
      Your entire life you will think of the cat
      Whenever an itch comes across your knees at your mat..LOL

      hahaha now that is quite the grand design
      And for humans eating them just isn't fine
      But with one swat and lick they are all gone
      And no mess to clean up at my lawn
      So it is a little more time saving for me
      Plus no gaurdian angel has to visit my sea..hahaha

      Delete
  16. You had to go and put all those creepy crawlies on here didn't you!
    At the first mention of fleas, I turn into a non stop scratching machine. Hate them! I also hate flies, and all the other bugs that bite or suck my blood, because, I'm allergic to Black fly and mosquito bites. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
    We like late spring here, snows gone, it's warm and no bugs have arrived.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha another that itches at fleas
      I didn't even have to wish them upon your knees
      You live where you do and are allergic to those bites
      Wow you must hide most nights hahaha

      Delete
  17. Replies
    1. I'll just do an easy rhyme
      And use time
      Done
      Wasn't that fun

      Delete
  18. Happy Birthday kitty cat! I could have done without the spider - ack!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL but the spider was yum to the cat
      He ate that thing as it tried to hide under the mat

      Delete
  19. Happy birthday, Pat! And.. ew :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha not the dirty human, Pat
      It's the cat haha

      Delete
  20. Happy Birthday Miss Priss!

    That last part (under the lady bug picture) is the way to a womans heart!

    And ewww! a toilet paper crown?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Miss Priss was a few months ago
      Her exact date we do not know
      Glad I know the way
      So the cat can make their day
      As long as the tp isn't used
      Then the crown is alright and shouldn't be abused..haha

      Delete
  21. Well, a steak on your birthday plate, that must've been nice indeed. My cats enjoy the bugs as well, killing and eating any they may find. Cocoa is a bit lazy, so he goes for the slow ones, chomping on a spider is his favorite, although when all is ate and done, us humans usually have to wipe off the blood from his fur, icky spiders are. Chloe, well she likes a fight, those flying bugs are her favorite delight, buzzing about she jumps and swats, just like you spoke about, she'll jump and jump, poke and poke, until that bug flies no more, than she pounces on them and gulp they go down. She'll follow her meal up with a self-congratulatory meow, then dip her paw in the dog's bowl and wash off any wing stuck in her paw. Happy birthday, I hope drazin doesn't stop by and ruin your birthday play

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha haven't seen Drazin for a while
      And whipping her paw off in the dog's bowl just shows such style
      Both here will chase those flies without fear
      As soon as they hear
      Off they go
      Bouncing and prouncing on everything at my show
      So fun to watch as they run
      Not for the ly though who is more than likely done

      Delete
  22. awesome! a nice fat roll of toilet paper might be the perfect bday gift then :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah for him that would do
      As he'd chew it through and through

      Delete
  23. LOL ... happy bday cat! so Pat has survived through your teenage years ;-) Mr. T hates the flies as well ... that bzzz here and bzzz there just makes him crazy, maybe he was a cat in his previous life ... lol
    ps: sorry i haven't been around lately, the days were just way too filled ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah Pat survived the teenage years
      And all his fears
      Not bad when they only last a year for a cat
      Don't you wish humans were like that?..haha
      Come when you can to my sea
      There will always be a rhyming spree

      Delete
  24. Happy birthday to the (rhyming) cat ~

    I like that you know how to treat the lady, but those spiders and suckers are really yuck. Oh well, have fun today and put on your crown for display ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah the cat cat treat a lady great
      Until she suffers the same fate
      As all the rest of the creepy crawling things
      Even those with wings
      And the crown will come on at my sea
      The cat will do that for free

      Delete
  25. I had a cat who was too lazy to catch birds (thank God!). So would catch grasshoppers for us instead.

    Happy Birthday cat. I hope Pat gives all the toilet paper you could possibly want today. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha well grasshoppers are easier and more fun
      The hop and don't run
      Birds just fly away
      And yes there wil be some tp play

      Delete
  26. Happy birthday Cat
    Lucky you to have Pat
    We had one called Clyde
    A Scottish Fold but sadly died
    Missed it dearly even today
    Missed all the playful do
    Regular wash, ridding the poo

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah when they pass
      One always remembers their fun and sass
      Sad time indeed
      But as long as a good life they lead
      All one can ask
      Yeah I know that was a bad grammar task..haha

      Delete
  27. Happy Birthday, cat! Toilet paper crowns...ingenious!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Tp crowns are grand
      Altough Pat doesn't think so at our land

      Delete
  28. nice picture dude where did you get that

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Have to be more specific dude
      As some pics are nice and some are crude..haha

      Delete
  29. And after eating all those lovely little critters, do you like Pat in the face? Does it give him jitters?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nope the cat doesn't lick
      Although Pat would think that is ick..haha

      Delete
  30. Replies
    1. The kitty had fun
      Until his b-day was done

      Delete
  31. Replies
    1. Thanks for that
      It was enjoyed by the cat

      Delete
  32. My dog once had a nasty flea problem which spread to my room.

    They would jump everywhere so we got a flea killer bomb that went boom.

    Yet the little critters managed to survive.

    Then we left for the weekend to come back and then none of them was alive

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah if they don't have a host
      They quickly roast
      And die off with ease
      So that is one way to kill those fleas

      Delete
  33. My old cat used to leave presents of dead birds on our doorstep, finding that next to your bottle of milk is a surprise and a half. Especially since the birds are known to tap the milk to eat the cream. Making us wonder what was in the damn milk with Tweety pie laying there dead. I liked the imagery of the cat making a crown out of the loo roll,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah I'd wonder if the milk was poison too
      But since it wasn't opened that couldn't be true
      And have to blame the cat
      Not that I'm sure the cat would mind that

      Delete
  34. Replies
    1. Yeah a great bugger catcher
      Not a bad fetcher

      Delete
  35. A birthday rhyme,
    Is the hardest to write,
    And it's not because we don't have time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah not a whole lot one can say
      So could cause a little dismay

      Delete
  36. Oh, you poor dear cat,

    What is wrong with ol' pat?

    Does he not feed you well enough?

    So TP and bugs you must stuff?

    ReplyDelete
  37. hahaha Pat gives lots of food
    But the cat just thinks it's rude
    And has to have that toilet paper
    Making it into one big caper

    ReplyDelete