Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Don't Get Bitter, It's Just The dVerse World Of Twitter!

The cat was sitting at work, doing that thing where I lurk and saw the Twitter feed go down and down. Some of the crap is dVerse enough to make one frown. But I watched it run and knew it had to be done. If you don't like it now, wait until after I give a meow.

Resturant and Catering Financial Control,
Will surely suck out your soul.
Psst! Grab your FREE WorldSite domain name.
Afterwards we'll charge and mame.

We're not the only ones being tracked online.
I knew my desk was being tracked for being too divine.
Jesus Christ. Are you serious?
Maybe I just want to be mysterious

I just got pulled over by them boys free I am
Hmm I will nod and agree mam.
What's your biggest pet peeve?
That your same damn question won't leave.

Love that she speaks her mind, if only she had one.
Now this one was well done.
Tonight is gonna be crazy.
Oops that was last night, I'm still hazy.

I'm bubbling over here with excitement.
Damn! I got a Twitter indictment.
Dear Liberals & President Obama,
I will forgo what was said after the comma.

How does one exercise a spirit/entity,
Hmm get them a treadmill to go with their new identity?
Gettin' close to time to REALLY clean house.
Bah let's just blame the dirt on the spouse.

Find a quiet corner in a cave.
It's dark and scary but I'm brave.
It's national pop corn day!
Pop pop, chew chew is all I can say.

A series on "truth in media."
Better off reading an encyclopedia.
Tweet Tweet Tweet!
Wow you surely can't be beat.

Turn this up as loud as you can.
So I can run you down with my van.
It's easier to fall alseep at school than at home.
No wonder with old Mr. Chrome Dome.

No relationship is ever a waste of time.
Tell that to my ex, the mime.
People live by an idea of reality instead of reality.
How do you check in all actuality?

OH ME!
Your brain has been set free.
The most trusted place to buy facebook fans.
Who cares if they are robot clans?

Nothing really new, but well composed.
How rude! Your mind is so closed.
Chewing my finger nail.
And with that great bit of info I end my tale.

Now you can't say that wasn't dVerse. Might surely make you want to curse. But the facts are that a lot of crap, surely takes the Twitter lap. If you have to say "chewing my finger nail" on your feed, take heed. You need a life before you start announcing your bathroom habits and causing everyone strife. So there is some Twitter sass and now I need to go rest my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

92 comments:

  1. truth in media, haha, yeah dont hold your breathe, nice little slap to the boys on the left, def some fun lines from the twitter feed, runs as fast as litter box pee...oo i can rhyme multiple syllablees...boy! peace

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  2. I make it a habit to never be serious on Twitter. What occurs in the public timeline on my account is just a puppet show. Each country is very, very different in how it tweets though and that I find interesting.

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    Replies
    1. Annzie is one of my fave twitting birds over there :) The two of us also use Twitter to spread gossip about Pat and Lurk bellow me :)

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    2. Spread away I say
      As it all helps promote my bay
      Plus payback is a bitch don't you know
      And I can let the gossip flow..lol

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    3. We gossip via DM so no one knows what we're saying. I never use the public timeline anymore. It's too, well too public.

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    4. Awww and I can't see
      As you gossip about me
      That is no fun at all
      Then I can't use it to make fun back at my hall..haha

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    5. we also use Twitter to plot about conquering Alaska together and turning it into a reservation for cats :)

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    6. But Alaska is so cold
      Plus it has moose I'm told
      That can be scary
      As those things are way to big and hairy

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  3. Well said and very true and in rhyming too!

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  4. Alright I completely agree Pat that there is no way I can even try to disagree that Twitter isn't diverse. Great stuff mate.

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  5. Syllablees
    Were you rhyming with your knees
    Litter box pee doesn't go anywhere
    As it just clumps at my lair..haha
    And yeah won't hold my breath at all
    I'd pass out at my hall

    Yeah I never take much seriously on that
    As I'm just a rhyming cat
    Never paid much attention to the countries though
    That is interesting to know
    Makes sense too
    As those India ones keep wanting to make money off me and you..haha

    In rhyming too
    Will always come due

    haha no way indeed
    As it is diverse to read
    Not that I ever do much though
    As with 75,000 people it's hard to do don't you know

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  6. I quit Facebook after a year, partly due to the junk that people considered was relevant to the rest of the world. I never even bothered with Twitter. The more I hear about it, despite how popular it is, the gladder I am that I made that decision.

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    Replies
    1. ok Gramma Nazi...is 'gladder' a word? :)

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  7. Aw Twitter , I just post nonsense,and to let people know another post is up for the blog. Although I do get kick out of the R.I.P. shtick .
    Twitter seems to kill more celebrities.

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  8. Great rhymes
    For fun times

    Yeah it is pretty much junk
    You are better off not getting caught in such a funk
    "Bathroom break" for a message you really don't need to know
    As who really cares if you have to do this, that or go

    Excellent you say
    Of my bay

    hahaha yeah twitter does seem to kill a lot of those nuts
    As they talk out their butts
    And the poor so called famous mooks get caught
    I feel for them, umm not
    Yeah I use it for the blog too
    And maybe the odd view

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  9. speaking of Twitter I remember how I was shocked when you've sent me invite their and I saw you had like 20,000 followers or something and then you sent me an automated welcome message which made me laugh a lot :) You're such a naughty cat, Pattzilla.

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  10. I suddenly feel the urge to tweet you nonsense :P

    I totally agree that the majority of the people in the "Twitter-verse" are automated robots spitting out nonsense. But, I also can't deny that it's a great tool to get connected with people and promote your page. I came in contact with a guy from New Zealand. We talk almost everyday and it's been so interesting to learn the cultural differences!! (I even helped him plan a Superbowl Sunday party so he can root for the Pats in NZ!!! How cool is that?!?!?! lol) He's just one person I connected with. There are many! See, Twitter isn't all bad :)

    Plus, I like anything that keeps me entertained while I'm at work!

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  11. This is too funny! And, why I avoid Twitter!

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  12. lol & so true about the media x encyclopedia! i never created a twitter account ... i thought it would put me under unnecessary stress ... tweet tweet tweet tweet ... ha!

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  13. LOL you picked up on that did you?
    It's an automated thing I do
    Along with the followback
    As once you get 20,000+ people in your pack
    There is a need to make it easier for me
    Glad the automated message brought glee..lol

    hahaha you tweet nonsense and the cat can get you back
    But you are right it does work well for the work shack
    And yeah met a few on there too
    Is it's not all bad for a view
    Plus the promotion works as well
    So I won't completely damn it to hell
    That is cool too
    But his rooting didn't help you..LOL

    Yep gives a good reason
    Not to commit treason
    But joining the thing
    Although it is a bit fun to let some things fling

    Well with a name like Birdie you could tweet tweet away
    And no one would question you're display..lol

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  14. Pat ~ you make me want to tweet
    just to hear your thoughts so sweet.
    I have read some of yours online
    not so sure they were divine.
    lol....

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  15. Grammar Nazi sez to Betsy: Yes, doll, it is. But I have been known to make up a word once in a while, just for entertainment purposes. Ha!

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    Replies
    1. Well, Google disagrees and corrects it to "more glad". lol. And yes, it was entertaining.

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    2. The free dictionary things has it there
      Maybe Google is just not gladder and thinks it's no fair

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    3. look at you
      replying, too!

      wouldn't be the first time
      google was a little behind.

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    4. I can reply
      Just easier to do one big long rant back, no lie

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  16. Ohh, your rooting joke is just sooo funny!!! hahaha

    Twitter can also be scary! I was tweeting my friend about how bad it is to tweet and drive. Right then and there, I got cut off by a giant Sleepys truck. It's almost as if they knew what I writing! So I sent my friend a message about how a Sleepys truck almost killed me. A few minutes later, I get a tweet from a Sleepys rep asking me to file a grievance with the company. How did they know?!?!?! Stalkers...

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    Replies
    1. Jax ~ don't tweet and drive
      we want you to stay alive!

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    2. I'll try to resist...but traffic is sooo borringggg!!

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    3. Yeah tweeting off your pretty little head
      While driving may leave you umm dead

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  17. hahaha I only tweet once in a while
    Answering those back in rhyming style
    Mostly have it for the blog
    As it does help lead others through the fog
    And no I doubt any are divine
    No where near that line

    Gladder is a word
    Even if it sounds absurd
    But being a word adder is fun
    As made up words just have to be given a run

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    Replies
    1. my 'grammar check' changed it! You'll have to tweet that it's real and spread the word! ha.

      yeah, most were announcing a post
      from you, the host.

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    2. Yeah that and reply to others is all I usually do
      I used to do original ones but that was before away the blog flew

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  18. LOL I had too
    Can never resist taking a shot at you
    Yeah all one has to do is up in the search bar
    Type a word that they want and poof have them all near and far
    But that's not how it was done
    I know how it was spun
    They have a program all set up and waiting for you to type a certain word or phrase
    The program searches the millions in the twitter maze
    And every single time someone types what they have set up
    They send a pre-programmed message without a hiccup
    Or it pops up on their screen
    And they can send the message they want to be seen
    Very tricky isn't it?
    It's how people find buyers for all the umm shit..lol

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  19. @Betsy: Hmmmm. Then Google disagrees with the Free Online Dictionary, Your Dictionary, Merriam-Webster, Scrabblefinder.com, Dictionary.die.net... and the cat and me! :)

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    Replies
    1. The power of google has finally suffered a fail
      That just make me prop up my tail

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  20. It could be that, or they could just be watching me! lol!!!

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  21. Twitter has made everybody think they're celebrities haha!

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  22. haha I suppose they could be lingering about
    Waiting for you to shout
    Or could be one of those island monsters on there
    Wanting to creep up on you at your lair..haha

    LOL sad but true
    People yap on there until they turn blue

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  23. lol My thoughts exactly :)

    P.S. I'm biting my nails j/k rofl

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  24. haha oh the germs that can come from that
    Why did you have to tell the cat..LOL

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  25. hihi...nice..It's easier to fall alseep at school than at home...true that...my preferred place to fall asleep is in trains.. think it's just the comfort of the rattling rails...smiles

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  26. Glad it was well said
    And you didn't want to whack me over the head haha

    The rattling of rails makes you fall asleep
    Those rails must run deep

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  27. I'm still waiting to make a dime on wasting yours and my time on Twitter. Oh heck, I didn't mean to disturb your cat tray litter. ;)

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  28. Disturbing my litter tray
    Could be smelly if I did my duties today..lol
    I made a dime or two of twitter
    So don't get bitter

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  29. I'm not down for twitter at all. no dice.

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  30. When the duties call
    Have to be answered at any hall

    No dice
    What if I throw in some furry mice?

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  31. Hi Pat ~ I hardly watch or use my twitter except on Tues for D'verse. But I do get the tags and followers...which until now confounds me. Anyway this was fun rhyme ~

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  32. I'm still not sure how Twitter works, but this is too funny! I really like:

    Find a quiet corner in a cave.
    It's dark and scary but I'm brave.
    It's national pop corn day!
    Pop pop, chew chew is all I can say.

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  33. yep, you hit the nail with this one, tons of crap afloat beneath the twitter boat. D'verse indeed are the words that a twitter reader is often forced to read. Many of the messages are nuts too. Really fun way of describing this inanity that goes on with twitter insanity. Hey, side note though, I guess NBC hasn't heard of the cat yet, for it seemed like every commercial during the superbowl had a dog in it, not that I mind, I think dogs are fun, but you'd think they'd have also given the cats some love, they can be just as entertaining as the dogs can be, so I'm thinking next year we'll have to get the cat out there for all to see.

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  34. I'm a detail oriented guy, and appreciative of the little things-- like seeing you spell "forgo" correctly for the context in which it was used!

    I notice the little things
    Much more so by far
    And if you request
    I'll even detail your car!

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  35. That's why I never go to twiter or even facebook... forgot how to get there... and I am glad I did.
    Great write, you witty one! :-)

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  36. Eh, f*** twitter. But it's damn handy.

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  37. Ditto on the national pop corn day! What else can I say.

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  38. This is why I so seldom tune in to Twitter. :)

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  39. Eh I don't like twitter. I FAX my friends and they usually fax me back.

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  40. My twitter is on, but I am seldom there--I am not sure what that says about me--witty write!

    @AudreyHowitt

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  41. I dont use twitter I think is terrible talk all the day about all the persons make,:)

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  42. It's all about ME
    On MY twitter feed
    How can that be bad?
    Oh dear Pat
    and Cat in Hat
    It's the best fun I ever had!
    Every tweet is a kick
    to the gut or your teeth
    But the poetry's always free
    You must spend some time
    in this twitter of mine
    And then you'll really see!
    PS: Check out http://newworldcreativeunion.blogspot.com Send me pic, profile, and let us do some promo for YOU for a change!

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  43. Twitter couldn't handle even a fraction of your greatness.

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  44. I once found myself jealous and bitter
    Alas! The only one without Twitter.
    Two emails, two Facebooks, two Bloggers,
    and an online chatroom for loggers.
    My life without Twitter in disarray
    Now that I have it there's nothing to say.

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  45. I wish I understood the draw of twitter...but its lost on me

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  46. i wish there was snow in hawaii :( our winters just rain.

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  47. I started laughing at the first line... you rule.
    If twitter is the time capsule of today, we will surely look like fools tomorrow.
    But by then there will be something new in our way.

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  48. So much to figure out, Pat,
    and to refigure out.

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  49. Nice rhymes man, funny and poetic.
    I'll be following you for sure.

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  50. still trying to figure out twitter. Clearly, you have it figured and rhymed.

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  51. I use it for a little fun
    And to promote this place a ton
    It is a little bit of a task to get at first
    But it is easy enough after a quick burst

    Don't have to know how it works to enjoy the show
    As it is a pain for those on the go
    And yeah it was national pop corn day
    Without twitter I never would have known my way..haha

    Yeah crap floats twitters boat
    Worse than some talkative goat
    See once more the dogs run the show
    The cat will have to let those commercial guys know
    But then those silly mutts obey
    The cats just trot away

    Glad I could appease
    And even please
    With my grammar
    Where here sometimes I stammer
    And you'll detail my car
    That puts you well above par

    Feel the shame
    I guess I also have some shame all the same

    This witty one had to give it a run
    As it was fun
    Facebook is crap
    That should just take a dirt nap

    haha yeah it can be dandy
    And come in handy

    Glad you like national pop corn day
    Although I think it's past us by by before I used it for my rhyme play

    So you're out of tune
    With the twitter moon..haha

    LOL faxing
    That must be sooo taxing

    Mine goes and goes
    And I check the high and lows
    Once or twice a day
    And have my say
    But that is all
    As that list gets tall

    Terrible to talk all day
    I will leave that one alone until May..haha

    I suppose being all about me
    Can cause one glee
    And as long as you have fun
    Go ahead and give it a run
    I guess I can come and see
    But I'll curse if I bump my knee
    And another one to check out
    Will go and see what it's all about

    Damn that is grand
    Twitter fails against rhyme time land

    Well you had two of this and that
    That kind of impresses the cat
    And you used all your words already
    Being so bitter steady
    So now twitter is all tweeted out
    Before your first shout

    Yeah the draw
    Has a serious flaw

    Pffft you wouldn't be long wishing it away
    As snow causes such dismay

    I rule
    Yippee and those dogs drool
    So very true
    Is is sad if twitter is the time capsule many will view
    Won't be us in a good light
    Probably be a fright

    Not much to understand
    Just a tweeting nut case land..haha

    Figure and refigure, damn that's a lot of work
    Maybe you're better off just with a quick lurk

    Funny and poetic all in one
    Glad it was fun

    haha yeah it's figured out by me
    Still doesn't mean I like it a ton at my sea
    But it isn't that hard to figure out
    Once you take the time to see what it's all about

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  52. Alas, someone has done something entertaining with tweets. Thank you! Very well done.
    xoRobyn
    PS Your anti-V-Day poem's great too. Sorry you don't eat chocolate.

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  53. Hm... I probably should use Twitter a little more... get more site views..

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  54. Yeah I like twitter for the updates on companies or a tv-show, when things start getting too personal it just becomes ridiculous.

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  55. We must monitor twitter at the same time! How about "Wow, get 1000 followers in one day!" from an account that doesn't have followers. I'm a selective tweet reader and maintain my insanity with ease. Very clever.

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  56. Glad I can entertain
    And not pop a vein
    Like crappy twitter can do
    With all the tweets that come due
    And yeah it is true
    Pat doesn't eat chocolate as it sends him to the loo

    Yeah you get more site views indeed
    Best thing about the twitter feed

    All that personal crap
    Should take a nap
    But some silly sap
    Has to flap

    Yeah that is a load of bull
    You know that they are full
    As even when it works like that
    You got 1000 robots following you at your mat

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  57. Another brilliant tale you have created my friend. Always enjoy your take on this world we traverse! ~ Rose

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  58. Wow, I know I've said it before, but I'm so amazed at your ability to rhyme. This one is really good. I'm not on Twitter and rarely do Face Book. No time. But blogging, I find time for that.

    Really enjoyed reading this.

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  59. Hahahahah...... Quite True Mr. Pat!!!!

    "Love that she speaks her mind, if only she had one.
    Now this one was well done.
    Tonight is gonna be crazy.
    Oops that was last night, I'm still hazy."

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  60. Yeah my take is rather peculiar to say the least
    As the cat is just a rhyming beast

    I enjoy amazing time and time again at bush number three
    Glad it was fun to see
    I'm the other way
    As twitter once in a while I display
    But facebook is crap
    That can take a nap

    Always fun when it's true
    Glad it is agreed upon by you

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  61. the idea of reality. i like that turn of phrase and all transitions to it very much.

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  62. I guess something likeable can come from twitter
    Glad I could let you see it being a typical rhyming critter

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  63. I'm not a tweeter...I think facebook's much sweeter :P

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  64. I think both are rather meh at best
    But they are better than many of the rest

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  65. Just proves there's no subject which can't be enlivened by rhyme.

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  66. Glad I can provide such proof
    As the rhymes come from this goof

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  67. People live by an idea of reality instead of reality.
    How do you check in all actuality?

    I truly loved these lines and the truth they speak about our minds. :)

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  68. Yeah there is some truth in there somewhere
    As we all have a different version of our own at our lair

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