Monday, February 6, 2012

I Guess I Can Show My Kind of Snow!

So Betsy was saying how she liked that awful stuff and sometime during my hate for snow huff, the bush with the crack came about and it prompted this little shout.

A ostrich wannabe snowman with a mooning butt that surely needs a tan. Now I have to compare the bush with the crack at my lair and the snowman with a crack on the lawn of another shack.

My bush is warm and cozy,
In the spring in can smell rosey.
No one can tell I'm there,
As they walk right by my lair.

The snow crack is rather cold,
And hypothermia might take hold.
Plus white doesn't allow me to blend,
If I have to hide after an insult I send.

So that's one for my bush,
And none for the other tush.

Bugs like my bush too,
They come from all over to view.
Crawling on the branches of it,
Trying to make a nest at my pit.

No bugs lurk in this crack,
It would take a whole pack,
Just to keep warm,
So no bugs is the norm.

So that's two for mine,
As on the bugs I can dine.

My bush loses its leaves once a year,
Then everything is bare I fear.
But I can attach some fake ones,
Although I have to buy tons.

The snow crack melts three seasons,
For all different reasons.
Plus the cat hates water too,
So that just would not do.

Three for my bush with a crack,
The snow one really seems to lack.

My bush stays still,
No matter the thrill.
Oh and FYI, if it starts to rock,
Don't knock.

With a magic top hat,
The snow one could move on the cat.
Can you imagine that?
Stuck in a moving snowman's ass even when he sat.

So that is four,
Need I do more?
I think you know my bush will win,
I don't even have to be biased at my bin.

So to the poor snowman crack,
You seem to lack.
But give your reflection a look,
Before leaving my nook.
And pucker up to it,
Come on! Just a little bit?



Oh and did I mention it could turn yellow,
If a mutt decided to bellow.
That is just epic fail,
And so ends my crack comparison tail.

Never fear if my tail is in the air as you pass. I won't always show you my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

65 comments:

  1. That is the snowman to end all snowmen. Thankfully I have no snow with which to build one. I'm with you Pat, I hate the stuff. It's pretty in pictures but not in the yard, on the sidewalk or on the road where it kills people. (I just read Brians poem, I'm thinking about death right now!).

    ReplyDelete
  2. love that snowman haha! i like winter when it's with blue sky, sun, snow and cold temperatures ... at least here where we live which is so rare to get ... that's maybe why ... it was a whole different story when we did live in Canada & yet another snowstorm came by the end of April, i just couldn't see the white stuff anymore ... i guess some things when in excess stop being appealing ...

    ReplyDelete
  3. I think snow should be criminalized. Say no to snow!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Every one needs snow butts on a Monday. Lol

    ReplyDelete
  5. People use to talk about the yellow snow.
    I never found it to be a problem where I am from.
    We don't get snow...
    Good pics!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. wow that snow man has a wide load, ha maybe he just needs to take a sleet...we got a dusting last night not enough to shill a carck or roll a snow ball to smack...

      Delete
  6. you know, since I currently have tones of snow in my yard, with no signs of it melting away anytime sooner than summer, I will accept volunteers to make dozens of these snowmen in my backyard, with frontal nudity versions too! My neighbours would love it, not to mention my cats!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Your label line reads "Betsy mooning snowman"
    I about dropped my coffee cup in hand
    Laughing so hard at that
    It was funnier than the crack!
    I agree with Brian
    He certainly wasn't lying
    when he said that was a wide set of buns
    he needs to lay off the cookies a ton
    Maybe eat his carrot nose
    until some of those pounds he throws.
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
  8. now we just neeed more women to randomly do this.....

    ReplyDelete
  9. Haha, greta snow picture and nice rhymes!

    ReplyDelete
  10. You could put an empty bottle of Jack Daniels in the snowman's hand or empty beer cans scattered around his feet as he's mooning.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'd show these to my kids, but I wouldn't want to give them any bad ideas. Fortunately we don't have much snow left here, so they can't make any snowmen right now. :D

    And I only imagine the boys reaction to the rhyme. lol

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yeah thankfully, as of now, there is no snow here
    So there are no snowmans near
    I hate the snow indeed
    As people don't take heed
    And when it's ont he road
    They do more than squash a poor toad

    It's nice to look at once in a while
    But yeah too much and it gets vile
    Although we've been lucky this year
    Not much snow has come near
    Excess does suck
    Makes you want to pluck a duck

    I agree with you
    When need some spray that will make it leave our view

    LOL snow butts galore
    Here at my shore

    Lucky you
    Snow sucks it is true
    But still you should know
    Just in case, not to eat yellow snow..haha

    Roll a snow bal to smack is fun
    Especially if you can make those you don't like run
    I think he may need to do something indeed
    As he seems to be in need

    LOL well get those penguins to work
    Then you can have the snowman perk
    Literally if you get dirty enough
    Although for some it might be rough
    But others will get a thrill
    As they stare and have their fill

    hahaha I didn't even notice how that lined up
    A bit of a hiccup
    But quite funny indeed
    I guess it was good you planted the seed
    Although Whiskers might not agree
    If you dropped the cup on her at your sea
    Seems he doesn't watch his weight
    I guess it just adds to his mooning hate..haha

    Hmmmm you should revise that a bit
    As some just would not be a hit..haha

    Yeah only snow that is tolerable I guess
    As I hate that mess

    hahaha yeah he sure got drunk
    Or is in some kind of funk
    Maybe he smells like a skunk
    Or just wants to moon some punk

    ReplyDelete
  13. hahaha I'm sure they could come up with the ideas on their own
    But if I can throw them a bone
    That would be fun to see
    Them makes snowmen like this because of me

    ReplyDelete
  14. Don't be egging Dez to do that!
    Might be dangerous at his mat.
    Could cause accidents as people look
    and take their eyes off the road with a jerk!
    Might be a little too much when things start to melt
    and start to drip. People might yelp!
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "jerk", "drip", oh, Betsy you're being naughty again :)

      Delete
    2. a picture of a couple of snow buns and all hell breaks loose!
      Pat probably knew when he posted an icy caboose!

      Delete
    3. haha yeah I hoped for all hell to break loose at my sea
      As it aways brings such glee

      Delete
  15. omg! Not turn yellow... :p LOL! gross. And yes, love the snow moons... :D <3

    ReplyDelete
  16. Amazing snowmen Pat, I'm with Anne when it comes to hating snow, I'm just glad that it's dry and snow free at the minute, loved this ode to snow though!

    ReplyDelete
  17. Good crack at my shack
    As I went on the rhyme attack

    LOL Then they might sue poor Dez too
    That just would not do
    But those penguins have the idea now
    Maybe they'll do a mooning cow
    Oh how fun that would be
    Yeah as things melt might not be a sight to see

    Yeah turning yellow
    Would make the snowman bellow
    Snow moons are grand
    So had to give them a hand

    Yeah I'm glad it's snow free here too
    But who knows how long I'll have such a view

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. some of the neighbours already wanted to sue me, Pat, when they saw a huge wireless antenna at my roof (I cover the part of the city and get the net for free) and they thought it will radiate and turn us all green and radioactive or something. My revenge was to send my cats to poop in their yards, which they are still doing to this very day :)

      Delete
    2. LOL such a pain neighbors can be
      And you get the net for free
      Geez lucky you
      I have to pay for when each bill comes due
      Aren't cats grand
      Always willing to lend a hand
      Or umm ass
      To let things pas

      Delete
  18. We have yet to have snow!! Forget snow, there's been so Winter!!!

    But I would have to go with the snow crack. Your bug argument sold me to the snow. No bugs b/c it's too cold? Fine by me! A bug free crack is just the way I like it!! hahahaha

    and the yellow snow? At least you would know when an animal took a leak on your crack. If an animal tinkled on the bush, no one would know. You'd be hanging out in a tinkled bush!!! Bleh, gag, barf..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol....I prefer bug-free cracks, too.

      Delete
    2. Apparently the cat...He clearly states that he prefers bugs in his crack!!!! lol!!

      Delete
    3. Gives the cat an added snack
      He can save them and have them later at his shack..lol

      Delete
  19. LOL lucky you
    We've still had cold come due
    But not a ton of snow
    Which makes me smile from head to toe
    A bug free crack you say?
    Oh that is going to come back to haunt you at my bay...LOL
    Too good to pass up on
    Wait until a near post at my lawn
    True I guess you would know
    But then I'll I would need to have is you to walk by and go
    Bleh, gag, barf and whatever other noises you want to use
    Then I'd know someone peed on my bush and I'd never lose

    ReplyDelete
  20. No way the kids are seeing these snowman pics. They'll be motivated to create and get me into lost of trouble.

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOL but won't it me fun to watch them create
    Who cares if the neighbors give a little hate

    ReplyDelete
  22. hahahaha I didn't even realize what I said until you pointed it out!!

    Can't wait for THAT to come back to me. LOL

    And you won't hear me make my dramatic noises all the way up north. Did I get your OCD yet? lol

    ReplyDelete
  23. Why is it that snow crack is always more appealing on a snowman than a plumber? Not sure, but you always provide some great rhymes!

    ReplyDelete
  24. hahaha already added it to the post
    That will run thursday from your host
    Worked in quite well
    And let's just say it won't be oh so swell
    To your ocd
    Which will be fun to see..haha
    Yeah you irked mine a bit
    I will watch where I sit
    When I crawl in my bush
    With a tush

    hahaha usually because you can kick a snowman and it will be gone
    A plumber might take offense if you kick up in the butt on your lawn

    ReplyDelete
  25. Here in this small cow town, I'd have to keep a broom on hand to shoo off all the hillbillies trying to have sex with it. They love-a the big white girls.

    I'll never look at bushes the same way again, and I surely won't knock if it's a rockin'.

    ReplyDelete
  26. hahaha well at least the hillbillies are only after the snow
    And not pulling a Deliverance type show
    Wouldn't you want a bush with a tush
    With thorns I'm sure those hillbillies won't push..haha

    ReplyDelete
  27. here in belgium it's about -15°
    so... forget all snowman, cause we don't use to have this type of weather...
    so jalous of thoses snowman :o

    ReplyDelete
  28. you know...it's freezing cold over here...and i'd prefer a green bush over a snowman (and even if it's such an off-beat one as on your pic) any time..

    ReplyDelete
  29. Definitely hate the snow, but your mooning snowmen are quite the glow, fun to look at from inside the home, but I'd still prefer a nice summer day and a well kept lawn, even if it had one of those creepy gnomes. Fun write, thanks

    ReplyDelete
  30. Yeah wouldn't want to show my bare rump
    And go thumpty thump thump
    In that kind of cold
    Frostbite would take hold

    Yep will take the green bush anyday
    Especailly if it has a tush like the one at my bay

    Be fun to look at from inside
    As it smiles ummm wide
    From its behind view
    For all to see what came due
    But yep well kept lawn and summer day
    Is a much better display

    ReplyDelete
  31. I saw the pictures this morning and had a chuckle
    Where do you find these stuff? I guess it means
    spring is around the corner for him to show his rump ~

    ReplyDelete
  32. Nice
    You like the rump being shown twice?..lol

    hahaha I just have a look here and there
    And when I come across something ummm bare
    I use it for my lair
    Hopefully spring has sprung but say so I wouldn't dare
    As then we'd get tons of snow
    And I just want that to go

    ReplyDelete
  33. You folks in the snow are silly and quite bold
    But pull your pants up, else you might catch a cold.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  34. I can ship the snow to you
    That would get rid of the mooning view
    No longer would it be here but there
    Nice plump buns by the pair..haha

    ReplyDelete
  35. It's been snowing since weekend here in England so your poem was appropriate and your snowman certainly put a smile on my face.
    As a first time visitor I'm really taken with the background and the banner of your site...very inviting.

    ReplyDelete
  36. I love the snow & I love bums . . . So this post is just perfect for e ^_^ Thanks

    ReplyDelete
  37. Glad I could at least give a smile
    As you watch that snow that is ever so vile
    I try to be inviting too
    Without inciting a riot to come due..haha

    Well there you go
    Bums and snow all aglow..lol

    ReplyDelete
  38. Haha, love it, you've got something special there, so witty & quick off the mark & snow isn't vile, it's great, we don't get enough over here :(((

    ReplyDelete
  39. a full snow moon, neither waxing nor waning.

    ReplyDelete
  40. No snow this year. An odd year. I don't mind.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Just wished we had enough snow here to copy it lol

    ReplyDelete
  42. These pics are hysterical! I so want to make one in my yard after reading this lol!

    ReplyDelete
  43. It never snows here. Silly desert.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Witty and quick off the mark I can be
    At least sometimes at my sea
    And you can have all the snow
    Just keep it away from my show

    Lucky you
    Although hot days must ensue

    Just there to view
    For me and you

    I wouldn't mind
    At all if there was no snowy behind
    But sadly we've had some
    Making my ho and hum

    Thanks a bad wish
    Wish for a singing fish..haha

    LOL be sure to chroncile the adventures of making mooning snowmen as you go
    Would really be something to see over at your blog show..haha

    Silly desert indeed
    Although right now I wish here followed its lead

    ReplyDelete
  45. Wow never knew there were so many pictures of mooning snowmen.

    ReplyDelete
  46. Amazing, truly classy pictures. If it ever snows here, this is what I'm doing.

    ReplyDelete
  47. It doesn't really snow that much in Georgia, if at all...Keep up the good work man! Your rhymes get better and better each post!

    ReplyDelete
  48. I'm not sure what to think of this. Need to get my mind out of the gutter...

    ReplyDelete
  49. haha mooning snowmen do abound
    And are easily found

    A snow crack
    Surely doesn't lack

    Truly classy
    For the snowmen to get all ass-y...haha

    Better and better you say
    That surely doesn't cause dismay
    And lucky you
    With no snow coming due

    LOL bah my mind is in the gutter a ton
    So you aren't the only one

    ReplyDelete
  50. Those are the greatest pictures ever! 'ostrich wannabe snowman with a mooning butt that surely needs a tan.' Hahaha! That second picture looks just like an ex-mother-in-law of mine!

    ReplyDelete
  51. LOL I bet you are glad she is an ex too
    And yeah the first may be an ostrich wannabe but he sure leaves something to view

    ReplyDelete