I just had to rub it in to you dirty humans out there. All working and lurking with the daily wear and tear. So you can one day live life free thanks to your $$$$$$ degree. I know you may get jealous a bit of not only my wit, but because the cat never had to lift a finger. I'll let the jealousy linger. You don't believe me? I guess I'll have to prove it here at bush number three.
I get up with a stretch after all I had such a rough night. That toilet paper sure puts up quite the fight. I trot by all cocky that I secured the win while Pat has to pick it up and throw it in the loo, letting it spin. That thing always interests me too. But Pat keeps putting the lid down so I can't view.
Oh and look! Free food. I chow down with no manners at all, being quite rude. Making quite the mess on the floor, giving Pat another chore. It's fun sticking your face right in the bowl, you should try it at your hole. I do a little announcing and some couch bouncing, then off to the litter box. I dig and dig and dig, peeking up like a sly fox. Then give my look of concentration and that leads to the normal causation.
Sometimes I bury it, sometimes I don't bother at all. For Pat comes behind anyway with a pringle can down the hall. I splat some litter here and there as I jump out and give another shout. Then run around and around proving why I'm so profound. I even beat up Miss Priss. She sure can hiss.
Oh joy, a new toy! A few seconds later it's chewed to hell or gone down my well. Of course eating it doesn't get my vote for it could get caught in your throat. In that case I go throw up in the corner somewhere and walk off without a care.
Now it's time to clean up my fur and I lick and purr. Every little inch but I have to be careful as some things pinch. A few hours of sleep come due and no, I don't dream about any of you. I guess sometimes I twitch and make weird noises though. What about? I really don't know.
Once more I'm awake and oh my gut begins to quake. Cough, Cough, Wheeze Wheeze, must have been that cheese. As up comes a hairball or three and the only mat in the whole placed was hit by me. That takes skill don't you know. For some reason Pat doesn't think so.
Now it's time for more to eat. But first I want a treat. So I dive into Pat's plate. I just can't wait. After I get that it's off to my dish and once again in goes my face as the food starts to swish. Then I run off and climb as high as I can go, letting everything show. I dive off at the sight of Miss Priss below and once again off we go.
I meow at the wall and some shadow things, deciding to stare out the window at those rats with wings. My tail goes in a back and forth motion. Those birds really cause quite the commotion. Time to go back to the litter to pinch off a hitter. That is supposed to be loaf? Oh quiet! You big oaf.
I need another nap, so I take over Pat's lap. Now he can't move one bit or a dirty look and a scratch I might transmitt. Time to run some more and roll around on the floor. Heck, I may as well open a cupboard door. It's not that much of a chore.
Finally out goes the light and with Pat out of sight, the next round with that toilet paper is about to start. Those white rolls think they are so smart. But I tear them to pieces and then meow into the night. Or sometimes some bird chirps could ignite. All I have left to do is rest my head as tomorrow once again this path will be led.
See! I proved it to all. As you all have chores to do and run to city hall. I get fed for free and run around with such glee. Oops, did I increase your jealousy with that? Aren't I just such a fun cat? Forget about the acts of sneaky Cass for this is the day in the life of my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.