Saturday, February 4, 2012

I Have No Degrees, Yet I Do Whatever I Please!

I just had to rub it in to you dirty humans out there. All working and lurking with the daily wear and tear. So you can one day live life free thanks to your $$$$$$ degree. I know you may get jealous a bit of not only my wit, but because the cat never had to lift a finger. I'll let the jealousy linger. You don't believe me? I guess I'll have to prove it here at bush number three.

I get up with a stretch after all I had such a rough night. That toilet paper sure puts up quite the fight. I trot by all cocky that I secured the win while Pat has to pick it up and throw it in the loo, letting it spin. That thing always interests me too. But Pat keeps putting the lid down so I can't view.

Oh and look! Free food. I chow down with no manners at all, being quite rude. Making quite the mess on the floor, giving Pat another chore. It's fun sticking your face right in the bowl, you should try it at your hole. I do a little announcing and some couch bouncing, then off to the litter box. I dig and dig and dig, peeking up like a sly fox. Then give my look of concentration and that leads to the normal causation.

Sometimes I bury it, sometimes I don't bother at all. For Pat comes behind anyway with a pringle can down the hall. I splat some litter here and there as I jump out and give another shout. Then run around and around proving why I'm so profound. I even beat up Miss Priss. She sure can hiss.

Oh joy, a new toy! A few seconds later it's chewed to hell or gone down my well. Of course eating it doesn't get my vote for it could get caught in your throat. In that case I go throw up in the corner somewhere and walk off without a care.

Now it's time to clean up my fur and I lick and purr. Every little inch but I have to be careful as some things pinch. A few hours of sleep come due and no, I don't dream about any of you. I guess sometimes I twitch and make weird noises though. What about? I really don't know.

Once more I'm awake and oh my gut begins to quake. Cough, Cough, Wheeze Wheeze, must have been that cheese. As up comes a hairball or three and the only mat in the whole placed was hit by me. That takes skill don't you know. For some reason Pat doesn't think so.

Now it's time for more to eat. But first I want a treat. So I dive into Pat's plate. I just can't wait. After I get that it's off to my dish and once again in goes my face as the food starts to swish. Then I run off and climb as high as I can go, letting everything show. I dive off at the sight of Miss Priss below and once again off we go.

I meow at the wall and some shadow things, deciding to stare out the window at those rats with wings. My tail goes in a back and forth motion. Those birds really cause quite the commotion. Time to go back to the litter to pinch off a hitter. That is supposed to be loaf? Oh quiet! You big oaf.

I need another nap, so I take over Pat's lap. Now he can't move one bit or a dirty look and a scratch I might transmitt. Time to run some more and roll around on the floor. Heck, I may as well open a cupboard door. It's not that much of a chore.

Finally out goes the light and with Pat out of sight, the next round with that toilet paper is about to start. Those white rolls think they are so smart. But I tear them to pieces and then meow into the night. Or sometimes some bird chirps could ignite. All I have left to do is rest my head as tomorrow once again this path will be led.

See! I proved it to all. As you all have chores to do and run to city hall. I get fed for free and run around with such glee. Oops, did I increase your jealousy with that? Aren't I just such a fun cat? Forget about the acts of sneaky Cass for this is the day in the life of my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

56 comments:

  1. I have to admit I do legitimately feel jealous Pat, you deserve everything you get though buddy, you're awesome. University degrees aren't everything at the end of the day. Sometimes I forget you're a rhyming cat haha!

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  2. Are we talking about cat poop to scoop?

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  3. Agreeing with YeamieWaffles from the comment above.

    I think I'm jealous of a rhyming cat.

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  4. Having read this, I think I'm glad that Orson has a lot less energy than Orlin does.

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  5. what do you mean you have no degree? I thought all cats have to finish Mouse Chasing Academy, Dog Evading College and Milk Stealing University. Not to mention How To Open A Can Of Tuna With Paws Studies.

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    Replies
    1. lol...that was a brilliant comment, Dez. :)

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    2. Don't egg Dez on
      I'll have those damn penguins crapping on my lawn..lol

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  6. of the cat its a day in the life, pampered without much strife, my newest who knows he is the cutest thinks its dinner time just about any time, already bigger than his 12 year old sister at six months pretty soon he will be a truck and we will be out of luck, luckily we dont get much in the hairball department

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  7. I wish I were a cat at RCB's. I've got two myself and I swear they think my house is Bora Bora. No rent, food aplenty and no office to go to.

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  8. The cat has spoken
    No degree but sure-footed
    Let's not moan
    A rhyming cat will be feted
    Speaks with crass
    Taunts with class
    Your had better be warned

    Hank

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  9. what a fat and fury life !
    i cant believe i envy a cat.
    but if i were one, i'd be fast and furious :)

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  10. Nice post
    From a friendly ghost

    LOL jealous of a cat
    How about that
    Pat is jealous of me too
    Except maybe when he has to clean my loo

    The poop goes scoop
    And right into a pringle can loop

    Jealous of a cat too
    The cat loves it, it's true

    Yeah being part wild cat kind of make Orlin hyper to say the least
    Has just as much energy, if not more, than that fido beast

    Who needs to open tuna when he can open the fridge door
    Then drag what food he wants across the floor
    Those dogs he just whacks upside the head
    And the mice just instantly fall over dead..haha

    Wow he sure chows down indeed
    Growing like a weed
    Might get as big as a dog
    Or a small hog
    And yeah they surely think they own all
    As they run about the hall

    LOL yeah that is pretty much the same with these two
    Although their more partial to Hawaii between me and you

    Good little warning you put out
    With your comment shout
    For the cat is here
    And will give a cheer
    Or strike fear
    With his little rhyming rear

    LOL movie reference too
    Look at you
    75% of the time he sure is
    With his meowing and running around biz

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  11. Trying to tell me Trix are for kids?
    Those adults may flip their lids

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  12. You fight with toilet paper huh??? I would close the bathroom door on you before I go to bed. Poor Pat, having to clean up all your messes hahahaha. I LOLed at him coming down the hallway with a Pringle can. My dogs would think "snack time", you think "clean up my poop time". hahaha

    And really? Vom in a corner!!!! Bleh!! Hairballs?? That really happens?! Sigh...

    You really do have the life. Guess I am a jelly belly! lol

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  13. LOL yep the cat and the tp fight every night
    Pat closes the door and with it I fight
    Sometimes I can get it to pop open too
    And off I trot into his loo
    Then take the toilet paper and run
    Spreading it all about is such fun
    hahahaha well many dogs do like to eat cat poo
    So snack time could still come due
    Hairballs happens once in a while
    But it's more Cassie than this cat that is vile
    Yep such is the life
    Roaming around with no strife

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  14. Ahhh the life of a cat to drive their human beserk When humans aren't expecting the cat will lurk :)

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  15. He lives such a fun and easy life,
    and makes you do all the tidying up.
    No, we don't have a cat because
    we got allergies, and we like our toilet
    paper all rolled up and tidy.

    Have a good weekend Pat ~

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  16. I guess that's what one would call a sick post... literally. Very creative. Well done, sir.

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  17. haha pretty much is want will occur
    Then they act all nice and lie down licking their fur
    Sometime giving you their rear
    As they lick far and near..haha

    Yep I get to clean up all his mess
    But it isn't a load I guess
    Allergies are a pain
    Would make me pop a vein
    So far so good with those
    Found nothing that makes me suffer such woes

    LOL what?
    You don't like a cat licking his butt
    Or that he can be lazy all day
    While you humans work for pay..haha

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  18. What a life your cat leads!
    Don't think I could deal with hair balls.
    Guess that's why I have dogs. LOL.

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  19. haha bah a hairball here and there
    Isn't that bad of an affair
    Except maybe when you step in it
    Then it can be nasty just a bit

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  20. Excellent description of a typical day in the life of a cat. It's funny how all cats are so much alike, they all have their little individual quirks but so much the same, so much the same. That toilet paper stuff, we had to start shutting the bathroom door, even when no one was in there, otherwise we'd see it stretched out, out the bathroom and into the hall. I've often thought how easy animals have it, but then remembered that some animals get shitty owners and quickly realize that lucky is more appropriately the term. My favorite part here though is the taking over the lap. My orange cat does this all the time, the black one just wan't to be left alone most of the time, but he'll sit on my dad's lap once in a while. But the orange one will jump up, try to do her kneading thing, but that hurts and is quickly stopped, but finally she'll get to that nap and I just can't move, else, like you said, a leer will come then the outstretched paw to warn you of what will come if you don't stay still. Fun piece. Thanks

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  21. Oh, Orlin, now you've made us humans depressed
    You really do have the life, I guess.
    And you could have rubbed it in
    that after this life has come to an end,
    you still have eight more
    to enjoy at your shore!

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  22. You don't want me to smash a printer anymore? Was enjoying it so much.

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  23. Crossposted to Matthew's blog: A college degree does not equal a good job, or even if you have training and experience in this job climate. My wife and I both have Master's degrees in Education and still can't find good full time jobs. I just recently got a job working in a warehouse doing manual labor and ordering parts for a furniture company.

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  24. Today is the day that the dog gets a chance to type
    Usually subject to Shae sitting here creating all this hype
    But as I dog I HAVE life the easiest you silly feline
    For I get to spend the day chasing my own behind

    You prissy little cat watch me and think I am dumb
    But haha! The jokes on you its more than just a little fun
    As I go round and round chasing my tail, you chase a little mouse.
    And as that mouse scurries in the hole, I catch my tail in my mouth!

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  25. I've always thought I want to come back as a cat in my next life! I've given you an Award over on my blog :)

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  26. LOL since the start till the end :-) ... i can imagine how happily was Orlin moving his whiskers while typing this ... haha!

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  27. The cat and Pat...twins for sure..he..he...

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  28. hahaha yeah many are the same
    Playing their cat game
    True some are so lucky and get shitty owners indeed
    That don't even feed
    I just took him off my lap now
    After a good 4 hours of him lying there some how
    Gave me a glare
    Which of course isn't rare..haha

    Yeah the cat doesn't need a fountain
    On top of some mountain
    As still have plenty of lives left in the can
    To outlive man
    Sorry for the depressed mood
    At least I wasn't rude

    LOL damn I was typing so fast
    I went with the last
    Saying at my shore
    Try not to do that anymore

    Wow that really sucks indeed
    I guess many should take heed
    When planning away
    For future jobs one day
    As the job market shrinks
    And university costs hit the brink

    LOL but do you bite your tail
    Then you will just wail
    And go sniff another butt
    You crazy mutt
    Or go pee on a tree
    Acting like it fills you with glee
    Then roll over and play dead
    Such great thoughts go through your head..hahaha

    Thanks for the award
    You must have been bored..lol
    A spoiled rot cat would be nice
    Although I wouldn't want to eat mice

    LOL yeah he was quite glad
    As much fun was had
    Typing out his day
    For all to display

    hahaha don't tell the cat that
    He make take offense and scratch Pat

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  29. My weiner pooches take offense to the cat poop comment! That isn't snack time!!! If my dog could rhyme, he may have let you have it! hahahaha

    Although the Pringles may make them go...isn't that the chip that has a special chemical in it that cleans you out? I'll have to google it. There's a reason why I boycott Pringles, I just don't remember why.

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  30. haha poor pooches taking offense to a cat
    You have to know he loves that
    Plus to him they may look like lunch a bit
    So best to not have a fit
    I eat pringles by the ton
    To the bathroom I don't usually run
    Once in a while I say
    And yeah we'll end there before any dismay

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  31. Bush number three.
    The more things change the more rhyme cat litters a truth.

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  32. Well, we aren't really that depressed.
    We have our advantages, too, I can jest.
    Like, we get to use tp instead of our tongues.
    Oh, I know you poor cat, but it had to be sung.
    lol!

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  33. Sounds good to me
    As I will litter away at my sea

    LOL you humans are just jealous you can't reach around
    And lick away acting all profound
    That would sure be a sight to see
    But yeah, it would be a tad nasty

    Happy is all one need to be
    Here at bush number three

    Glad you like
    And din't tell me to take a hike

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  34. We may be jealous of your laziness
    but some things are better taste-less. ha.
    I think I prefer my food to yours, too
    so that's another plus, besides the loo.

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  35. Although it does sound easy, it's still work to be a feline. I'm glad to be human, so I don't have hairballs or litter. Oh, you might need to be trained with that new infomercial product that moves you from the litter to the loo!

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  36. LOL I suppose that is true
    A nasty taste would ensue
    The cat eats human food all the time
    So he agrees with that part of your chime

    Yeah it is a bit of work
    And laziness is a perk
    hahaha and Pat won't let the cat use that
    For he make pee on the seat at our mat
    And that would just be ewww
    Plus he likes to dive in the loo

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  37. I wouldn't mind laying in a sun spot on the floor
    and napping away the hours, though.
    It would be fun to give people that aloof expression
    I bet Cassie has that down to perfection!
    hahaha.

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  38. We have the same readership, sorta, so decided to check your blog out.
    Your DP doesn't show that you could be a rapper, well, the toffee is way more different than the wrapper.
    Lame, I know.

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  39. Yeah Cassie has that down to a tee
    And then comes along the other crazy kitty
    Making her run about
    As he wants to play and shout

    A rapper I will never be
    Just a rhyming nut at my sea
    And bah it the rhyme still found a way to work
    Glad it was fun as you came to lurk

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  40. That they do
    Sure many dogs do too

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  41. This might as well have been written about my cat, I guess all cats act alike

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  42. Dude,

    That is *some* cat, and I ain't even a cat lover... EXCELLENT post again... I don't know how you do it, but amen, brother Pat, amen :)

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  43. *Sigh.... Nearly completely opposite of the life of a student.

    Wish I could get more sleep.

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  44. I often think cats watch us for amusement. And like "haha, watch all these humans rushing around."

    I'm jealous they can sleep so much and so well too.

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  45. Yeah many do act alike
    With their few quirks that tell us to take a hike

    haha the cat can convert one and all
    To at least like him at his hall

    Yeah pretty much the opposite it is
    Gotta love that university biz

    Sneaky cat he can be
    Stealing the tp

    LOL yeah that is pretty much the size of it
    Them watching these silly humans having a fit

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  46. I wasted years on my degree and never used it... I had a blast though

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  47. Yeah I had fun the first two years at my sea
    After that I just wanted to flee

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