Sunday, February 5, 2012

Watch Your Fingers and Toes. The Hammer Might Bring dVerse Woes!

So dVerse wanted me to bring the hammer down here in rhyme time town. I guess objecting can be fun and a tale can be spun. Just don't get your finger stuck, as it might get hit and then you'd yell umm duck. You might even quack or have a heart attack. Which one is worse? Oh yeah the objecting of dVerse. So easy to get of topic for the cat. I blame that damn distracting Pat. But on with the show we must go.

I object!
Of course with respect.
At least that's what I say.
But I truly wish to cause dismay.

It's just a nice object,
So I can cause neglect.
Why the frown?
I brought the hammer down.

All you need is some money.
Or act all funny.
Then I object!
The evidence gets a deflect.

All slick talk,
Will let you walk.
For the dots won't connect,
Thanks to the cry of  I object!

A little slip here or there,
Poof, free to go back to your lair.
A court reject,
Thanks to I object!

To serve and protect,
Screwed over with I object.
Back on the street,
Pounding the concrete.

Thus is the way it goes,
No matter the woes.
For those with the power,
Making the little guy cower.

I object!
Stand erect.
No need to reflect.
Be direct.
As you can detect.
The BS reject.
Get the real suspect.
No need to call collect.
Forget respect.
Don't interject.
Strat! I'm incorrect.
This path I need to eject.
Supposed to infect,
And use the object.

A hammer can pound a nail,
Into a train rail.
A big one you may need,
But be sure and take heed.

If the train comes by,
You may be a squashed girl or guy.
It's Hammer time.
Saying that is such a crime.

Hammer can make justice swift,
Or cause a rift.
Between the blind leading the blind,
Letting their teeth grind.

Always the same,
Add the twisting facts to place blame.
Hammer comes down,
Back out on the town.

Makes Hammer time seem grand.
The hammer above should be made of sand.
Or taked with a grain,
For it's more than a grand that sends it down the verdict lane.

Let the peers,
Give cheers.
Drop a dime,
And thwart hammer time.

So there was my object run and the objective tale that was spun. Okay, one sided I suppose but that is just how it goes. Mixed and matched the object stuff, so hope it doesn't leave one in a huff. Took it literally and then how it was supposed to be and gave it a go at bush number three. I object, I can hear already. As it will come steady. So let it come to pass like gas from my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

58 comments:

  1. I toured around the world from London to the BAY
    It's Hammer go Hammer
    mc hammer yo hammer and the rest can go and play

    U can't touch this!
    oh-oh oh oh oh-oh-oh ...

    For some reason , I now have this song stuck in my skull .

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  2. As always, a read worth my time,
    Your rhyming ass is doing just fine. :D

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  3. It is daily hammer time, i can almost hear the judge swinging his gavel.I used to work in the courts in England i never saw it used once. The judge just tells people to shut up.
    Then if they don't they get carted off by group4 security.
    Money counts, to help you bounce.

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    Replies
    1. i am doing the hammer dance, come on give justice a chance, but alas as with must elected officials, some have the brains of melting icicles...banging his wood, making lots of noise...no wonder it scared the girls and the boys...

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  4. I like your rhyming I object,
    Too bad Justice is such a deaf subject
    I am doing the hammer dance gig
    Also because it is sunday morning ~~~

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  5. Awesome as always mate. Love the judge theme this time, I hope a judge never brings the hammer down on me!

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  6. hahaha yeah the damn thing gets stuck in ones mind with ease
    That surely does not please
    Think it sad we know the words to the thing?
    I guess it's okay to let hammer time ring
    Once in a while
    But too much is vile

    Nice rhymes
    Fun times

    Glad it's doing just fine
    Maybe even a little divine

    LOL well shut up is more fun to yell
    Then swinging a hammer or ringing a bell
    Unless the hammer goes upside the head on someone
    Then that could be a little fun
    For the swinger of it
    Not the one getting hit..haha

    You doing the hammer dance
    Quite the visual as you prance haha
    Yep and the brains melt fast
    And they never last
    The big scary hammer
    Is all he can do so he doesn't stammer

    Things are mostly germy though
    So no touching is fine so you know

    Yep deaf and blind
    To all it seems to find
    You dancing a hammer jig too
    Oh the sights this post does ensue

    Nice blog
    Did it clear the fog

    Just don't get caught
    And then in jail you won't rot
    Because a hammer was swung
    And you sentence was sung..haha

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  7. Wow hammer as the object of poetry. I second.

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  8. Looks like majority rules
    And those the dog drools..haha

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  9. well you've succeeded in getting an MC Hammer song stuck in my head. No small feat. My hat's off to you sir

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  10. LOL not sure I want such a success
    But I'll take it I guess

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  11. I've always wanted to slam down a mallet and scream order! lol

    Object huh? Cat's know about that? My "object" knowledge ends at watch Legally Blonde. lol

    If a train comes by we'll get squished? Noted!!!!! lol

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  12. you're the next Eminem. wait, i think you're even more talented than him.... yo!

    jasmine

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  13. LOL yeah I admit if I walked by a mallet I'd have to grab it and slam it down too
    My ocd just would compluse me to make it come due
    Legally Blonde one wasn't bad for what it was
    The second and third was garbage just because
    Avoid those trains
    Would do more than pop a few veins

    More talented than him
    Hmm hope he doesn't hear than and on a whim
    Come and try and skin the cat
    We can't have that..lol

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  14. Never think a hammer would be object of rhymes!!!

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  15. Hope it's Thor's hammer and not MC Hammer... although I'm kinda sure it's the second one in your case :)

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  16. Hammer time! That was definitely fun to read. Always a pleasure to see this, original humor is so rare to find.

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  17. A hammer would make me stammer
    As I can clamor
    About anything in rhyme
    Each and every time

    Nice blog twice
    Did you eat some bad mice

    LOL yeah it was the second I gave a go
    But Thor is much better which you know
    Unless it's that guy from Adventures in Babysitting at the end
    Although he could have been Thor's friend

    Glad it was fun to read
    As I gave it a go on my feed
    Orignal I can be
    And a tad crazy at bush number three

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  18. Great rhyme. There are many things I wish to object to some times. lol

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  19. you are brilliant! ... your rhyming is clever & fun ... wishing you that you don't have to ever deal with these people ... for over 4 years we are fighting for justice to be done ... i would never believed how corrupted the system is starting at the base and going higher and higher as well ... makes me feel to vomit! (sorry as you can see it steers something inside of me :-( ...)

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  20. Yeah would like to object to many things too
    But then too much objecting might come due..haha

    Wow definitely stirred something up with this one
    As I had my clever fun
    Been down that road though
    And yeah one big cluster**** is all I can say of the legal show
    Money talks is all I can say
    Justice doesn't come unless you pay

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  21. An amazing read today!
    I'm looking for my hammer.

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    Replies
    1. Blogger spammed you once more
      Guess it is fickle about three dogs at my shore..lol

      Delete
  22. My favorite part is "I object! Stand erect..."
    That passage makes for a great rap.
    I picture lawyers chanting this
    Not talking legal crap.
    Judge Judy cuts a rug and, Whoa!
    Who wouldn't pay to see that show?
    xoRobyn

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  23. LOL yeah I'd pay to see Judge Judy to that
    Maybe even Judge Joe Brown break dance on some mat
    Lawyers would sure be a sight
    Maybe they'll even fight
    As they chant
    And stop squashing the little ant

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  24. 'All you need is some money'... I rest my case. No matter who wins, our lawyers and judges know how to line their pockets. (no haha today, Pat)

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  25. phat rhymes as usual Pat ^_^ i think you didnt need much goading

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  26. Leave it to you to turn a noun into a verb
    throw the dVerse prompt to the curb
    and like a cat smoking herb
    leave the shelved tomes disturbed.

    Dude, it's hard to object
    when your humor infects.

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  27. sorry to hear that you too had the 'joy' with the system ...
    'legal show' is just fantastic description, it made me smile after all :-)
    we pay only what we have to, the corruption is inside the system starting with the lawyers ... it came as a surprise to me to learn that the lawyer of the victim & the accused can make a deal as who is going to win the case ... i mean where is the justice here? ...

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  28. An objection never sounded so rhythmic. Perhaps they should use rhyme more in the courts, then at least the jurors could be entertained when listening to this crime or that shame. Agree with much you said about the hammer, both the gavel and the rapper, guess that there, puts this comment in a wrapper. Some great d'verse rhyming fun, for old, young, I guess even for the felon.

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  29. I still remember the Python skit where they had the judges in drag! It's so easy to poke fun at the judicial system today, especially when they have silly shows like Judge Judy on the telly. And lawyers, well they're going to hell.

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  30. DOn't know how you do it, your rhymes are so good, love reading them all :)))

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  31. It almost feels like you started somewhere and ended somewhere else. Almost.

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  32. Yeah no haha to it
    High on top they sit
    And always line their pockets with dough
    Letting their belts sink low

    LOL nah it doesn't take much goading my way
    To have my rhyme say

    hahaha that is good that is is hard
    Wouldn't want to be chased from the dVerse yard
    A noun and a verb
    I always mix and match with my rhyming blurb

    Yeah the damn system even effects cats
    This cat isn't allowed to step foot in Hawaii, as it's illegal, how about that

    Yeah they can sure make a deal
    One that is unreal
    Making up their own loop hole
    So they get their main goal
    Of making more money than they need
    And increasing their greed

    LOL don't know if a felon would approve
    Of my rhyming groove
    Might not want them too
    As they can be scary between me and you..haha
    But yeah it would entertain
    If they went on the rhyming train

    Yeah lawyers are all going to hell
    Straight down the well
    Flushed away
    Never to be heard from or have to pay
    Wouldn't that be nice
    What? Don't like Judge Judy with her spice...lol

    Glad you love them all
    At my hall
    As I give them a go
    In typical rhyming flow

    Almost, I guess I can count
    With horses and hand grenades now at my mount..haha

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  33. Hahahaha - I read dVerse,
    but my brain was worse
    Now that's a different way to look at an 'object'
    How could anyone possibly object?

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  34. I've never had to go before a judge. I was questioned by the police once or a couple of times. But it wasn't me I tell ya. It was the one armed man. He's sneaky.

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  35. They could object a bit
    In some little fit
    But it would do them no good
    The bash the mallet on that wood

    That damn one armed man is a pain
    I think he hopped a train
    I heard he lost a leg too
    Amazing how he can still pull a fast one over the fugitive and you..haha

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  36. I'm doing the hammer dance, too,
    just between me and you!
    I might even sing a bit
    just to make someone throw a fit.
    Where is my wooden spoon mic?
    You might tell me to take a hike!
    Clever rhyme you gave today
    I'd never object here at your bay!

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  37. Guess what, you've been tagged. Don panic, it's nothing to brag. Put on your think cap. Cause it's time to go to this link for crap.

    (hey, I tried. :D)

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  38. Doing the hammer dance with 20 people about
    That might make them shout
    If they aren't already screaming at the tv screen
    Making a messy scene
    So grab that spoon
    I won't think, too much, that you're a loon..lol
    But wouldn't object your way
    Either I will say
    Well maybe to food though
    As you know me with that at my show..haha

    Tagged you say
    Will give a look at your bay
    May cap is on
    And not a bad rhyme at my lawn

    Phd
    In rhyming for me, yippee

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  39. Yep, 20 people laughing and yelling at the TV.
    I don't think they would even notice me
    if I did a dance and sang in the kitchen.
    But Whiskers is with me and she might mention
    that I'm acting like a loon
    and need to sleep til noon.
    ha.

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  40. I have no more printers to smash. :(

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  41. haha I'm sure at least one would notice that
    Geez Whiskers is really making herself at home at your mat
    Sucking up every day
    As she watches you type at your bay

    Damn! You ran out.
    It's okay, don't pout

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  42. Yep Whiskers sits in the flower box and looks at me
    and comes through the window for a visit, you see.
    But after about an hour I put her out
    since there is not cat litter box about.
    ha.

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  43. This rhyming all the timing is not great for a Bear who is deep in his lair, waiting to hibertate. But it's too warm, which isn't great.

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  44. justice is just ice.
    heat to, will melt.

    good one, Pat. as always :)

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  45. Fun limerick. And I say that as someone who spent way too much time as a courtroom lawyer. :)

    And thanks as always for another fun contribution to last week's Limerick-Off!

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  46. nice work, like usualy...but the only hammer I work about is Lord Google's (BAN)hammer.

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  47. I need a hammer
    to clear up some clutter.

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  48. Yeah true you would not want her to poo
    On well umm you..haha
    But Nugget has one
    Maybe she'll use that for fun
    Plus you have pringle cans galore
    So you can use them to store

    Well the bear
    Just needs to stare
    And come out of his lair
    Then everything will be fair

    Glad it was grand
    Here at my land

    You were a lawyer you say
    Hmmm sorry for the dismay
    I only play
    Oh wait! You agree at my bay..haha

    That ban hammer
    Can surely make all of us stammer

    Well if you smash some things though
    More clutter could show

    That will be the trick
    Even bust a brick

    Pffft screw you
    Objections get flushed down the loo..lol

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