If you want to be anything but dVerse besides the odd curse, go do half a dozen tax returns in one day. Warning! You may want to drown yourself in a bay. You'll get some serious brain drain but it will lead to this thought train. Plus your words and anything remotely involving intensity will die which will please those guys pointed out by that Bly guy. Too lazy to think back to 1999 plus at a whole 14 can't recall much too divine. So I'll play with the quote as the stupid tax thoughts continue to float.
They send you a paper, summed up from short to long.
Unwise to their caper you think what ease, wrong!
With 1999 sections and dull as dirt descriptions,
Along with 5000 more directions leaving you needing drug subscriptions.
Gobbly goop runs high,
Shifting the bullseye.
Jumping through another hoop,
Forging more gobbly goop,
Add to the file and get a case if indigestion.
Forget the style and creative suggestion,
Rub out the point to the next decimal,
Lather up and anoint for the medical.
Here comes more gobbly goop,
Why not have a double scoop?
With a free butt plug,
The gobbly goop slithers like a slug.
1999 rules go upside down and time for a recount,
For 1666 take the crown and rearrange the amount.
Percentages become a draw looking to screw.
Lower you get the claw, higher a hand comes due.
No ease in gobbly goop,
You now have a troop.
Forging the mind to none,
Save another gobbly goop run.
Great new additions arise giving a little hope,
Oops! Just a disguise screwing over the dope.
For true correlation brings about a measly sum,
Leading to more taxation to your bleeding gum.
Gobbly goop has control,
Suffer and sell your soul.
Living on the stoop,
Succumbing to the gobbly goop.
For there in the lines lies the truth,
More profitable than diamond minds or great aunt Ruth.
Interest gained while you gobbly goop gawk,
Easily rained in your state of shock.
Gobbly goop strikes again,
Draining men and women,
Gobbly gooping pockets of those,
Who can't count without their toes.
That is the end of numbers for me they can take those forms and shove them with glee. Even the stench of such crap rubbed off on the cat from that Pat chap. I think I have to go shower the stench of that tax crap off me now or at least get some chow. Maybe the cat will eat a bass. I hope it will stop this tax crap from coming out my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer
So thankful I have toes
ReplyDeleteOr I would have to count my woes
With my ears, my tongue
and my nose.
Gobbly goop
Go away
I can't stand this numbers thing
Another day.
Now it's time for me to go to bed
I need to rest my little rhyming head
That's all I have to say about that
Goodnight to all, including Patt Hatt.
...and the cat.
Counting with ears and your nose
DeleteWould be interesting should see how that goes
Gobbly goop can die
As it needs to fry
I just got up
Surely needed a coffee cup
After doing that crap
For I still want to take a nap
The tax man comes
ReplyDeleteand slays another day
and bleeds you dry
to pay
his living
dying wage.
Two of my sisters are accountants and they hate this time of year. There's no way to make this gobbly goop fun is there?
Yep bleeds everyone dry
DeleteThat surely is no lie
And nope not a single way to make it fun
Unless you just ignore them and don't get them done
But then they will come after you
And jail might ensue..haha
The bastards actually owe me money this year and I'm on tax holiday from Ireland, so I'm in the black right now. Keeping a double set of books helps quite a bit.
DeleteThere you go
DeleteI'm sure you'll get it back quite slow
As they aren't as fast at returns as when you have to pay them in
Either way the bastards always try to win
I was always good at math in school, but accounting? A lot of it's beyond my comprehension, admittedly. I don't envy you a bit come tax time!
ReplyDeleteI like math way way way better than dumb accounting crap
DeleteBut I can take the lap
Just have to make your brain go down that lane
For each loss and gain
And all that other crap
That makes you want to take a nap
I'm just happy I am getting some cash back, and no gobbly goop.
ReplyDeleteYeah I get money back too
DeleteSo that makes the gobbly goop easier to view
That's awesome!
ReplyDeleteGobbly Goop is even more that great
DeleteI guess with gobbly goop awesome is my fate
figuring out tax code
ReplyDeleteis like trying to find a rose smelling
load of ca-ca
upon which you will cry raca
and ricky martin had one top song in 1999
la vida loca,
dance to it
makes you feel fine
LOL can see you dancing to that now
DeleteAfterwards you'd have to take a bow
And yeah figuring it out is a load
Glad I'm out of tax mode
didn't we mention once that Brian couldnt comment
Deletewithout using some toileting lament?
I rest my case. Just look about.
my twin has a potty mouth.
hahaha
LOL yes he does seem to use it time and time again at my sea
DeleteBut then it is used by me
Here at my bin
Least I never tried to deny it like your twin
I love how you tried to make that pretty dull uet still managed to pull it off and make it an enjoyable read. Glad to hear you're kicking taxes ass buddy!
ReplyDeletehaha taxes are dull as dirt
DeleteSo dull had to be thrown in a squirt
But the cat can never just be dull at his sea
That can just never be
ugh..tax confusion...you know, i need ALL my toes to do the math...smiles..seems it's not a cent better with the tax confusion than over here..
ReplyDeletehaha nope I think it is universally the same everywhere
DeleteEach person hates doing them at their lair
LOL need all your toes
I guess whatever it takes to beat those tax foes
Spare me from gobbly goop
ReplyDeletelet's get rid of it in one scoop
and throw it into the chicken coop
where it can mix with chicken poop!
That sounds like a plan
DeleteI am quite a fan
Or letting it mix with the poo
As long as it's out of my view
No problem with tax this year,
ReplyDeleteas my son is getting them done, I hear
you about tax lines and credits,
but I am hoping to get my due in debit
very soon.
Happy Sunday ~
Nice when you don't have to do it
DeleteAvoid a brain fit
Always nice when you get something back too
Makes up for ones brain feeling black and blue
I do not like the gobbly goop. :(
ReplyDeleteNope gobbly goop is indeed a pain
DeleteLike what happens after getting hit by a train
An excellent description of our tax code; "Gobbly Goop"
ReplyDeleteEntertaining, once agin, Pat!
http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/03/10/someone-passed-by-today/
Gobbly Goop is all the crap is
DeleteThe stupid tax biz
But at least I can entertain
With it at by lane
So it's safe to say that you don't enjoy doing taxes?? LOL!!
ReplyDeleteTaxes stink. Did you ever see one of those H&R block commercials where one of the employees is sitting on a chair? The employee sits there and tells us how much she LOVES doing taxes. She breathes and eats taxes. I refuse to believe that lady! But, I'll still pay her to do mine so I don't have to...
LOL I say that is a safe bet
DeleteThe cat is one lucky pet
Not having to bother with taxes at all
And just runs up and down the hall
Plus chews on the papers as I try to do it
Thinking he is quite the hit...lol
hahaha yeah I saw those
Cureld my toes
LOVES it my bum
Then again they are liked by some
If not there would be no IRS and the like
For no one would want to take such a job hike
I'm a cheapo and mine is easy to do
Since not much there to view
So I can do mine with ease
Those others though, do not please..haha
Right? The only people that like taxes are the ones making profit off of it!! hahaha I think the cat should have to pay taxes too. That's just not fair!! Or you should at least be able to claim the cat! LOL
DeleteYes I think we should be able to claim cats and dogs as dependants too
DeleteUp here a vet visit for them costs more than taking any kid to the doctor for a view
So they should get to be used on there
And the cat not paying may not be fair
But then again he is an unproductive member of society that leeches off Pat
And not one that leeches off some welfare mat..haha
I dont envy your work dear, poor you, I know is more than Mathematics and Im not good in my counts (lol)I know when I received some call of the Bank (sigh)
ReplyDeletehave a nice Sunday!
Well as long as all your money is there
DeleteAnd the bank doesn't cause you to swear
In french or otherwise
All should be well just avoid the tax cries
I hate administrative stuff in general, doing taxes in particular. Oh for the days when I could do the EZ form and get money back. But how get money back, anyway? Why can't they do this precisely so that you pay when you pay and that's it? Anyway, this enjoyable per usual. I found the following line interesting, though getting reamed seems its intent, or are you using a prgram I should be aware of? :)
ReplyDeleteWith a free butt plug,
The gobbly goop slithers like a slug.
Yeah it would be very nice to pay when you pay
DeleteAnd then those buggers go and piss up a rope on tax day
But they want more and more
So they give it an encore
More of a reamed thing too
But it seems that you knew
I hate taxes and anything that has to do with taxes. The people who work on these for sure deserve my sympathies.
ReplyDeleteThose that work on them yes they do
DeleteThose that come after you
Well they can shove it up the old gazoo
And go get a clue
You had me cracking up, as always. But this line, in particular, is very clever:
ReplyDelete"For there in the lines lies the truth"
Yeah no need to read between them here
DeleteFor they stick it right in there for all to fear
I still have to file my own
ReplyDeleteI don't want to make any mistakes that'll make me moan
Yeah and then they come after you
DeleteWhich just makes you turn blue
I don't think I've ever done my taxes :) We penguins are mobsters, people pay taxes to us... which reminds me,Pat the Cat, you are about to receive our yearly charge in a leopard print envelope :)
ReplyDeleteLOL a tax evader at your sea
Deletehahaha that causes me glee
A rebel and you don't pay tax
Aren't you just a bit lax
And if that envelop comes
We'll wipe it on our bums
And send it straight back
All brown to your shack
That's all you'll get in pay
From our bay..haha
at least have the decency to eat some spinach before and send it green to us, we love the colour and it might soften our hearts so instead of a horses head you get just a dead rat on your pillow :)
Deletemaking note not to open any animal print letter
Deletesince I now know who would be the sender! ha.
Pat, you should scan for penguin prints on any mail, too
Deletejust incase the leopard print was all a ruse.
I'll get some spray paint
DeleteAnd make it green so you won't feint
Then the cat will eat the dead rat
And all will be fine for Pat
Yes now you no who it is from
But then he would have to track down the address of my little rhyming bum
And he's get that other place
Sure that still wouldn't put a smile on their face..haha
I can just hear that call
Delete"Pat, we have a visitor at our hall.
He's looking for you
and has a penguin crew.
He looks kind of mean.
Says he has roses that are green.
We'll give him some bogus directions
so we loose connection.
Now don't you worry.
He'll never find Bush #3."
Dez will arrive in a cloud of heavenly scent and you'll be so enchanted you won't see him when he sneaks up behind you with that axe.
Deletehahaha...making another mental note to sniff the air
Deleteand run if any angelic scents become aware!
An axe?
Ew. He's a maniac!
Yes Dez will get no thrill
DeleteWhen he finds 12 cats on the windowsil
He'll have to run away
And never find my bay
As I will be warned he is here
And get ready just in case to cause him fear
An axe you say
Geez quite the butcher at his bay
I will put on a fan
And blow away the cloud or just make a cloud ban
Creepy Freddy or Jason wannabe
With that axe trying to come to anothers sea
what axe, Annezilla? You know, better than anyone else, that Dezzdragon would just blow rainbow on Betsy and Pat and turn them gay :) Now, wouldn't the world be a better place with gay Pat and gay Betsy? :)
DeleteOh yes we'd be so happy and fancy free
DeleteThat would bring us all so much glee
Oh, yeah that sounds like a plan
Deletehow do you think of these things, Dezzdragon?
ha.
Anne drew him as a dragon
DeleteSo now he goes around braggin'
oh, just wait till you see how she drew you, Cat you naughty Pat :) I know, since Annzie and me have a secret Irish/Serbian Gossiping Society.
DeleteAnd Betsy is already acting gay, I've seen her winking to Gloria :)
Yes you and your secret society of crazy loons
DeleteOut somewhere in the sand dunes
Do you like that sight
I bet you dream about it at night
i have to play this year, no refund :( I need to withhold more
ReplyDeleteHaving to pay is just ick
DeleteStupid tax prick..haha
No, no! No numbers!
ReplyDeletehahaha numbers get a no
DeleteI would like to throw them out the window
You guys, too?
ReplyDeleteWhat did our two countries do?
Get together and work out a plan
to turn insane every woman and man?
Why must it all be so complicated
making our brains discombobulated?
Hopefully with election promises coming due
a new system will ensue.
I know, wishing thinking on my part, of course
but it would be nice to file without remorse.
I have my business sales taxes which I file twice a year.
It's really just some simple math so no fears
even this non-math girl can figure it out
and file over the phone which doesn't make me pout.
The Mister gets to do the big family filing
which would really leave me crying.
ha.
Yep whether north or south
DeleteThey confuse and try to take the food from our mouth
Such a pain but it is done
So now back to rhyming fun
With no brain strain
Here at my lane
Good luck getting that wish too
I doubt that will ever come due
Some are easy enough
Others are rough
That will make one huff and puff
With their overstated fluff
Be glad you get the easy ones
For the others could give you the runs..haha
hahaha...yes, I always tell the auction staff,
Delete"Why are you making me count the money? I'm terrible at math!"
And I've shown them a time or two
when I had to recount the whole stratty slew.
lol.
hahaha well maybe they know
DeleteYou'll recount it two or three times on the go
That way you'll be sure to get the correct amount
Thanks to each recount
Number crunching hurts my head. I've decided next year, the dog is doing the filing.
ReplyDeletehaha I hope he doesn't charge a lot
DeleteThen the idea might not sound so hot
Who knew gobbley gook was so rhymeable! Of course I knew silliness was smileable. :-)
ReplyDeleteYep gobbly goop works well
DeleteAnd rhymes rather swell
Your cat is so deserving of that bass
ReplyDeletealong with your amazing rhyming ass;
dealing with taxes all the day long
it's surprising your brain remained so strong.
My brain needed a nap
DeleteSo I let the rhymes flap
And it's fun to be amazing too
Even when the cat sometimes doesn't have a clue..haha
Numbers can be a bit like gobbledy goop- lol Taxes tax me so, I buy the programs that make it easier but somehow I wind up spending just as much time, but tax time always makes me laugh- Ex. I owed money to the state last year, check cashed next day. This year they own me, it's been 30 days and hasn't come yet-lol Pretty funny stuff that tax time crunch. and yes, a bit of that gobbledy goop too. I can't imagine doing more than my own, must be quite the drone.
ReplyDeleteLOL sucks that you have to spend the same amount of time
DeleteBut at least you get done the tax chime
hahaha and that is always how it goes
They make you wait and wait until your payback shows
But theirs they are right on top of that
And yeah doing more sucks at any mat
you lost me at 1999 sections, it's the season for silly numbers...
ReplyDeletelol taxes make all get lost
DeleteI'd almost rather take snow and frost
great aunt ruth may be the truth
ReplyDeletebut the gobbly goop will make me aloof
truth is i'd rather pull my own tooth
or have q and a with ruth
finally let me say that i also hate that tax crap
it's important information for that pat chap
Yes that is important indeed
DeleteTo hear at my feed
To know Pat isn't the only one
Who hates giving it a run
Have a good conversation with her
She is quite stinky and curls up the cat's fur
Taxes would be a lot easier if they streamlined things--but of course, since it's bureaucracy, the chances of that are low. :P
ReplyDeleteYep very very low
DeleteI doubt such a thing will ever show
It's no fun being around dull people!
ReplyDeleteThat it is not
DeleteSo the cat tries not to be dull a whole lot
I have no printer to smash!
ReplyDeleteYour rhyming posts are pretty flash.
Well I guess if there is nothing to smash
DeleteYou can throw out the trash
I actually like doing taxes. :(
ReplyDeleteEwww a strange one are you
DeleteDoing taxes at your zoo..haha
gobbly goop, they have no control lol
ReplyDeleteGobbly goop
DeleteSure does drive one right to poop
That last bit was my favorite and so is the last comment you left on this post LOL!
DeleteLOL yes I tried to reframe from using poop
DeleteBut had to finally do so in the comment loop
That's a lot of different ways. Also, 1999 was a very good year.
ReplyDelete1999 was fine by me too
DeleteAt least nothing to bad came due
I hate taxes, I could have bought a new gamging console with the money I'm gonna end up giving to the government :(
ReplyDeleteYuck, you have to pay in
DeleteThat truly is a sin
Ha! Well done.
ReplyDeleteGlad it was well done
DeleteAnd fun
I wish I could rhyme the same way you do.
ReplyDeleteEven though all I could do is copy you.
I'm awaiting the release of your latest work.
That is the reason why I'm here to lurk.
My latest work is a while off
DeleteSo I hope you don't scoff
As a new post comes every morning here
Still a few hours off I fear