Sunday, March 11, 2012

1999 Ways To Be Dull As Dirt With Some dVerse Rocks For Dessert!

If you want to be anything but dVerse besides the odd curse, go do half a dozen tax returns in one day. Warning! You may want to drown yourself in a bay. You'll get some serious brain drain but it will lead to this thought train. Plus your words and anything remotely involving intensity will die which will please those guys pointed out by that Bly guy. Too lazy to think back to 1999 plus at a whole 14 can't recall much too divine. So I'll play with the quote as the stupid tax thoughts continue to float.

They send you a paper, summed up from short to long.
Unwise to their caper you think what ease, wrong!
With 1999 sections and dull as dirt descriptions,
Along with 5000 more directions leaving you needing drug subscriptions.

Gobbly goop runs high,
Shifting the bullseye.
Jumping through another hoop,
Forging more gobbly goop,

Add to the file and get a case if indigestion.
Forget the style and creative suggestion,
Rub out the point to the next decimal,
Lather up and anoint for the medical.

Here comes more gobbly goop,
Why not have a double scoop?
With a free butt plug,
The gobbly goop slithers like a slug.

1999 rules go upside down and time for a recount,
For 1666 take the crown and rearrange the amount.
Percentages become a draw looking to screw.
Lower you get the claw, higher a hand comes due.

No ease in gobbly goop,
You now have a troop.
Forging the mind to none,
Save another gobbly goop run.

Great new additions arise giving a little hope,
Oops! Just a disguise screwing over the dope.
For true correlation brings about a measly sum,
Leading to more taxation to your bleeding gum.

Gobbly goop has control,
Suffer and sell your soul.
Living on the stoop,
Succumbing to the gobbly goop.

For there in the lines lies the truth,
More profitable than diamond minds or great aunt Ruth.
Interest gained while you gobbly goop gawk,
Easily rained in your state of shock.

Gobbly goop strikes again,
Draining men and women,
Gobbly gooping pockets of those,
Who can't count without their toes.

That is the end of numbers for me they can take those forms and shove them with glee. Even the stench of such crap rubbed off on the cat from that Pat chap. I think I have to go shower the stench of that tax crap off me now or at least get some chow. Maybe the cat will eat a bass. I hope it will stop this tax crap from coming out my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer

98 comments:

  1. So thankful I have toes
    Or I would have to count my woes
    With my ears, my tongue
    and my nose.

    Gobbly goop
    Go away
    I can't stand this numbers thing
    Another day.

    Now it's time for me to go to bed
    I need to rest my little rhyming head
    That's all I have to say about that
    Goodnight to all, including Patt Hatt.

    ...and the cat.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Counting with ears and your nose
      Would be interesting should see how that goes
      Gobbly goop can die
      As it needs to fry
      I just got up
      Surely needed a coffee cup
      After doing that crap
      For I still want to take a nap

      Delete
  2. The tax man comes
    and slays another day
    and bleeds you dry
    to pay
    his living
    dying wage.

    Two of my sisters are accountants and they hate this time of year. There's no way to make this gobbly goop fun is there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep bleeds everyone dry
      That surely is no lie
      And nope not a single way to make it fun
      Unless you just ignore them and don't get them done
      But then they will come after you
      And jail might ensue..haha

      Delete
    2. The bastards actually owe me money this year and I'm on tax holiday from Ireland, so I'm in the black right now. Keeping a double set of books helps quite a bit.

      Delete
    3. There you go
      I'm sure you'll get it back quite slow
      As they aren't as fast at returns as when you have to pay them in
      Either way the bastards always try to win

      Delete
  3. I was always good at math in school, but accounting? A lot of it's beyond my comprehension, admittedly. I don't envy you a bit come tax time!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I like math way way way better than dumb accounting crap
      But I can take the lap
      Just have to make your brain go down that lane
      For each loss and gain
      And all that other crap
      That makes you want to take a nap

      Delete
  4. I'm just happy I am getting some cash back, and no gobbly goop.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I get money back too
      So that makes the gobbly goop easier to view

      Delete
  5. Replies
    1. Gobbly Goop is even more that great
      I guess with gobbly goop awesome is my fate

      Delete
  6. figuring out tax code
    is like trying to find a rose smelling
    load of ca-ca
    upon which you will cry raca
    and ricky martin had one top song in 1999
    la vida loca,
    dance to it
    makes you feel fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL can see you dancing to that now
      Afterwards you'd have to take a bow
      And yeah figuring it out is a load
      Glad I'm out of tax mode

      Delete
    2. didn't we mention once that Brian couldnt comment
      without using some toileting lament?
      I rest my case. Just look about.
      my twin has a potty mouth.
      hahaha

      Delete
    3. LOL yes he does seem to use it time and time again at my sea
      But then it is used by me
      Here at my bin
      Least I never tried to deny it like your twin

      Delete
  7. I love how you tried to make that pretty dull uet still managed to pull it off and make it an enjoyable read. Glad to hear you're kicking taxes ass buddy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha taxes are dull as dirt
      So dull had to be thrown in a squirt
      But the cat can never just be dull at his sea
      That can just never be

      Delete
  8. ugh..tax confusion...you know, i need ALL my toes to do the math...smiles..seems it's not a cent better with the tax confusion than over here..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha nope I think it is universally the same everywhere
      Each person hates doing them at their lair
      LOL need all your toes
      I guess whatever it takes to beat those tax foes

      Delete
  9. Spare me from gobbly goop
    let's get rid of it in one scoop
    and throw it into the chicken coop
    where it can mix with chicken poop!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That sounds like a plan
      I am quite a fan
      Or letting it mix with the poo
      As long as it's out of my view

      Delete
  10. No problem with tax this year,
    as my son is getting them done, I hear
    you about tax lines and credits,
    but I am hoping to get my due in debit
    very soon.

    Happy Sunday ~

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nice when you don't have to do it
      Avoid a brain fit
      Always nice when you get something back too
      Makes up for ones brain feeling black and blue

      Delete
  11. I do not like the gobbly goop. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope gobbly goop is indeed a pain
      Like what happens after getting hit by a train

      Delete
  12. An excellent description of our tax code; "Gobbly Goop"
    Entertaining, once agin, Pat!
    http://charleslmashburn.wordpress.com/2012/03/10/someone-passed-by-today/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gobbly Goop is all the crap is
      The stupid tax biz
      But at least I can entertain
      With it at by lane

      Delete
  13. So it's safe to say that you don't enjoy doing taxes?? LOL!!

    Taxes stink. Did you ever see one of those H&R block commercials where one of the employees is sitting on a chair? The employee sits there and tells us how much she LOVES doing taxes. She breathes and eats taxes. I refuse to believe that lady! But, I'll still pay her to do mine so I don't have to...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I say that is a safe bet
      The cat is one lucky pet
      Not having to bother with taxes at all
      And just runs up and down the hall
      Plus chews on the papers as I try to do it
      Thinking he is quite the hit...lol

      hahaha yeah I saw those
      Cureld my toes
      LOVES it my bum
      Then again they are liked by some
      If not there would be no IRS and the like
      For no one would want to take such a job hike
      I'm a cheapo and mine is easy to do
      Since not much there to view
      So I can do mine with ease
      Those others though, do not please..haha

      Delete
    2. Right? The only people that like taxes are the ones making profit off of it!! hahaha I think the cat should have to pay taxes too. That's just not fair!! Or you should at least be able to claim the cat! LOL

      Delete
    3. Yes I think we should be able to claim cats and dogs as dependants too
      Up here a vet visit for them costs more than taking any kid to the doctor for a view
      So they should get to be used on there
      And the cat not paying may not be fair
      But then again he is an unproductive member of society that leeches off Pat
      And not one that leeches off some welfare mat..haha

      Delete
  14. I dont envy your work dear, poor you, I know is more than Mathematics and Im not good in my counts (lol)I know when I received some call of the Bank (sigh)
    have a nice Sunday!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well as long as all your money is there
      And the bank doesn't cause you to swear
      In french or otherwise
      All should be well just avoid the tax cries

      Delete
  15. I hate administrative stuff in general, doing taxes in particular. Oh for the days when I could do the EZ form and get money back. But how get money back, anyway? Why can't they do this precisely so that you pay when you pay and that's it? Anyway, this enjoyable per usual. I found the following line interesting, though getting reamed seems its intent, or are you using a prgram I should be aware of? :)

    With a free butt plug,
    The gobbly goop slithers like a slug.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah it would be very nice to pay when you pay
      And then those buggers go and piss up a rope on tax day
      But they want more and more
      So they give it an encore
      More of a reamed thing too
      But it seems that you knew

      Delete
  16. I hate taxes and anything that has to do with taxes. The people who work on these for sure deserve my sympathies.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those that work on them yes they do
      Those that come after you
      Well they can shove it up the old gazoo
      And go get a clue

      Delete
  17. You had me cracking up, as always. But this line, in particular, is very clever:

    "For there in the lines lies the truth"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah no need to read between them here
      For they stick it right in there for all to fear

      Delete
  18. I still have to file my own


    I don't want to make any mistakes that'll make me moan

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah and then they come after you
      Which just makes you turn blue

      Delete
  19. I don't think I've ever done my taxes :) We penguins are mobsters, people pay taxes to us... which reminds me,Pat the Cat, you are about to receive our yearly charge in a leopard print envelope :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a tax evader at your sea
      hahaha that causes me glee
      A rebel and you don't pay tax
      Aren't you just a bit lax
      And if that envelop comes
      We'll wipe it on our bums
      And send it straight back
      All brown to your shack
      That's all you'll get in pay
      From our bay..haha

      Delete
    2. at least have the decency to eat some spinach before and send it green to us, we love the colour and it might soften our hearts so instead of a horses head you get just a dead rat on your pillow :)

      Delete
    3. making note not to open any animal print letter
      since I now know who would be the sender! ha.

      Delete
    4. Pat, you should scan for penguin prints on any mail, too
      just incase the leopard print was all a ruse.

      Delete
    5. I'll get some spray paint
      And make it green so you won't feint
      Then the cat will eat the dead rat
      And all will be fine for Pat

      Yes now you no who it is from
      But then he would have to track down the address of my little rhyming bum
      And he's get that other place
      Sure that still wouldn't put a smile on their face..haha

      Delete
    6. I can just hear that call
      "Pat, we have a visitor at our hall.
      He's looking for you
      and has a penguin crew.
      He looks kind of mean.
      Says he has roses that are green.
      We'll give him some bogus directions
      so we loose connection.
      Now don't you worry.
      He'll never find Bush #3."

      Delete
    7. Dez will arrive in a cloud of heavenly scent and you'll be so enchanted you won't see him when he sneaks up behind you with that axe.

      Delete
    8. hahaha...making another mental note to sniff the air
      and run if any angelic scents become aware!
      An axe?
      Ew. He's a maniac!

      Delete
    9. Yes Dez will get no thrill
      When he finds 12 cats on the windowsil
      He'll have to run away
      And never find my bay
      As I will be warned he is here
      And get ready just in case to cause him fear

      An axe you say
      Geez quite the butcher at his bay
      I will put on a fan
      And blow away the cloud or just make a cloud ban

      Creepy Freddy or Jason wannabe
      With that axe trying to come to anothers sea

      Delete
    10. what axe, Annezilla? You know, better than anyone else, that Dezzdragon would just blow rainbow on Betsy and Pat and turn them gay :) Now, wouldn't the world be a better place with gay Pat and gay Betsy? :)

      Delete
    11. Oh yes we'd be so happy and fancy free
      That would bring us all so much glee

      Delete
    12. Oh, yeah that sounds like a plan
      how do you think of these things, Dezzdragon?
      ha.

      Delete
    13. Anne drew him as a dragon
      So now he goes around braggin'

      Delete
    14. oh, just wait till you see how she drew you, Cat you naughty Pat :) I know, since Annzie and me have a secret Irish/Serbian Gossiping Society.
      And Betsy is already acting gay, I've seen her winking to Gloria :)

      Delete
    15. Yes you and your secret society of crazy loons
      Out somewhere in the sand dunes
      Do you like that sight
      I bet you dream about it at night

      Delete
  20. i have to play this year, no refund :( I need to withhold more

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having to pay is just ick
      Stupid tax prick..haha

      Delete
  21. Replies
    1. hahaha numbers get a no
      I would like to throw them out the window

      Delete
  22. You guys, too?
    What did our two countries do?
    Get together and work out a plan
    to turn insane every woman and man?
    Why must it all be so complicated
    making our brains discombobulated?
    Hopefully with election promises coming due
    a new system will ensue.
    I know, wishing thinking on my part, of course
    but it would be nice to file without remorse.

    I have my business sales taxes which I file twice a year.
    It's really just some simple math so no fears
    even this non-math girl can figure it out
    and file over the phone which doesn't make me pout.
    The Mister gets to do the big family filing
    which would really leave me crying.
    ha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep whether north or south
      They confuse and try to take the food from our mouth
      Such a pain but it is done
      So now back to rhyming fun
      With no brain strain
      Here at my lane
      Good luck getting that wish too
      I doubt that will ever come due
      Some are easy enough
      Others are rough
      That will make one huff and puff
      With their overstated fluff
      Be glad you get the easy ones
      For the others could give you the runs..haha

      Delete
    2. hahaha...yes, I always tell the auction staff,
      "Why are you making me count the money? I'm terrible at math!"
      And I've shown them a time or two
      when I had to recount the whole stratty slew.
      lol.

      Delete
    3. hahaha well maybe they know
      You'll recount it two or three times on the go
      That way you'll be sure to get the correct amount
      Thanks to each recount

      Delete
  23. Number crunching hurts my head. I've decided next year, the dog is doing the filing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I hope he doesn't charge a lot
      Then the idea might not sound so hot

      Delete
  24. Who knew gobbley gook was so rhymeable! Of course I knew silliness was smileable. :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep gobbly goop works well
      And rhymes rather swell

      Delete
  25. Your cat is so deserving of that bass
    along with your amazing rhyming ass;
    dealing with taxes all the day long
    it's surprising your brain remained so strong.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My brain needed a nap
      So I let the rhymes flap
      And it's fun to be amazing too
      Even when the cat sometimes doesn't have a clue..haha

      Delete
  26. Numbers can be a bit like gobbledy goop- lol Taxes tax me so, I buy the programs that make it easier but somehow I wind up spending just as much time, but tax time always makes me laugh- Ex. I owed money to the state last year, check cashed next day. This year they own me, it's been 30 days and hasn't come yet-lol Pretty funny stuff that tax time crunch. and yes, a bit of that gobbledy goop too. I can't imagine doing more than my own, must be quite the drone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL sucks that you have to spend the same amount of time
      But at least you get done the tax chime
      hahaha and that is always how it goes
      They make you wait and wait until your payback shows
      But theirs they are right on top of that
      And yeah doing more sucks at any mat

      Delete
  27. you lost me at 1999 sections, it's the season for silly numbers...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. lol taxes make all get lost
      I'd almost rather take snow and frost

      Delete
  28. great aunt ruth may be the truth
    but the gobbly goop will make me aloof
    truth is i'd rather pull my own tooth
    or have q and a with ruth
    finally let me say that i also hate that tax crap
    it's important information for that pat chap

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes that is important indeed
      To hear at my feed
      To know Pat isn't the only one
      Who hates giving it a run
      Have a good conversation with her
      She is quite stinky and curls up the cat's fur

      Delete
  29. Taxes would be a lot easier if they streamlined things--but of course, since it's bureaucracy, the chances of that are low. :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep very very low
      I doubt such a thing will ever show

      Delete
  30. It's no fun being around dull people!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That it is not
      So the cat tries not to be dull a whole lot

      Delete
  31. I have no printer to smash!
    Your rhyming posts are pretty flash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well I guess if there is nothing to smash
      You can throw out the trash

      Delete
  32. I actually like doing taxes. :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ewww a strange one are you
      Doing taxes at your zoo..haha

      Delete
  33. gobbly goop, they have no control lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gobbly goop
      Sure does drive one right to poop

      Delete
    2. That last bit was my favorite and so is the last comment you left on this post LOL!

      Delete
    3. LOL yes I tried to reframe from using poop
      But had to finally do so in the comment loop

      Delete
  34. That's a lot of different ways. Also, 1999 was a very good year.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1999 was fine by me too
      At least nothing to bad came due

      Delete
  35. I hate taxes, I could have bought a new gamging console with the money I'm gonna end up giving to the government :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yuck, you have to pay in
      That truly is a sin

      Delete
  36. I wish I could rhyme the same way you do.
    Even though all I could do is copy you.
    I'm awaiting the release of your latest work.
    That is the reason why I'm here to lurk.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My latest work is a while off
      So I hope you don't scoff
      As a new post comes every morning here
      Still a few hours off I fear

      Delete