Friday, March 2, 2012

The Cat Is At His Best And Just Remember This Was A Request!

After watching a dreaded Walmart crack video sent to Pat leading to all sorts of this and that. One thing lead to another and by the end of this, heck by the start of this, you'll be thinking "Oh brother." Or maybe something even worse and this is real so the cat isn't being perverse. Now it's time for a rhyming lap as we do the:

Rumpology Rap

Palms and cards won't do,
They simply aren't true.
You want a true indication,
Of your life's duration.

Then forget the chants,
And yank down your pants.
Bend over and prepare,
For it's time to compare.

Every nook and cranny,
That shows on your fanny.
For at your fort,
It's time for your rumpology report.

Crevices, dimples, warts and moles,
Let you know your life's goals.
The left cheek reveals your past,
As the shadow is cast.

The right your future endeavor,
To read one has to be clever.
The crack can be tricky,
And sometimes icky.

As it corresponds to the division,
That prevents a collision,
Of the two hemispheres in your brain.
So to speak plain,

Your brain is in your ass,
The part that passes gas.
That must be hard to read,
Especially if hair grows like a weed.

If your bottom is round,
Happy go lucky is found.
If your bottom is flat,
You are oh so sad at your mat.

If shaped like an apple,
You'll be very confident entering the chapel.
Enjoying life with no strife,
For you and the wife.

If it's like a pear,
You'll be down to earth without a care.
Patient and steadfast,
Boy, this rumpology is vast.

Was practiced by the Greeks,
Some ancient Sheiks.
The Romans too,
Even some Indians stuck their ass out there to view.

So if you need to know,
Where your life will go,
Bend over and relax,
To get the rumpology facts.

Now you got all the facts on rumpology in mass and can learn your future from your ass. But I know you all have one question left for me. Who would request such a rap at me sea? And that would be, Jax, who brought this on at bush number three. So give a clap, thank her for the rumpology rap and if you decide to let a rumpologist trespass don't be afraid to tell my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

72 comments:

  1. Oh... I'm so glad I'm down to earth.. being a pear is such a big help ...hehehe

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha but the questions is did you need to check
      Before knowing the shape at your deck..haha

      Delete
  2. Pat, you definitely do not leave anything to the imagination here!
    You shared the 'facts' of rumpology with such joy and cheer!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I wanted to give your imagination a break today
      So cheered away all the rumpology facts at my bay..haha

      Delete
  3. Um yeah , I don't think I wanna look up my butt.
    But now I have this song stuck in my head for some reason...
    LOL!

    I like big butts and I can not lie
    You other brothers can't deny
    That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
    And a round thing in your face
    You get sprung, wanna pull out your tough
    'Cause you notice that butt was stuffed
    Deep in the jeans she's wearing
    I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
    Oh baby, I wanna get with you
    And take your picture
    My homeboys tried to warn me
    But that butt you got makes me so horny
    Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin ...

    Good Post as always :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL so sad I knew all the words to that
      And now you have it in the head of Pat
      I guess that is a payback lap
      For this rumpology rap...haha

      Delete
  4. My ass is a gas...passer, brilliant rhyming as usual sir.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha yeah with my typcial send off
      Rumpology sure didn't make me scoff..haha

      Delete
  5. LOL!! I requested this? My Rump!! Ok, maybe I did suggest a rumpology rap...(Spell check doesn't even recognize the word Rumpology. It needs to get w/ the times!) hahaha

    I still can't believe that it's 600 bucks to get done!! Crazyy...

    According to my rump, I'm happy go lucky. Maybe Rumpology IS tru!! I mean, I need all the help I can get considering my palms have me dyeing very young. lol I almost peed at the start of it. Forget the chants and yank down your pants...hahaha

    The left is the past and the right is your future. Well, we all already knew that the center is the present... LOL Bleh!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL now don't try and pretend you did not
      As you went on about it a lot
      And told the cat he should do one
      LOL yeah spell check was upset when I gave it a run
      Didn't like that word at all
      Has a thing for whoopdi friggin doo also at my hall..haha

      Yeah that is just disgusting to say the least
      That so called psychic must surely know how to feast
      Or read a hairy ass beast
      Or buy expensive yeast..haha

      I just stood up and checked at my sea....LOL
      I think it's round and I'm happy go lucky
      Or it may be an apple shape
      I felt it up enough to know it's not a grape..hahahahaha
      LOL I think the spit is much better to do
      Less messy between me and you..hahahaha

      LOL and presents do come
      Out that part of each and every bum

      Delete
    2. I bet they do know how to buy expensive yeast! How do you think they get their ba-dunka-dunk to look so good!! LMAO...well, I use the butt master. Does that count? Maybe I'll try the high end yeast...

      LMFAO You felt it up enough to know it ain't a grape? Well, that's great news! Who wants to pay $600 to be diagnosed as a sour grape! hahahaha

      hahaha well, at least you got my presents joke. But I was less graphic than you b/c I'm a lady :) LOL

      P.S. You should send this to Sir Mix A Lot to record. He'd be all over it!

      Delete
    3. LOL better watch out back now
      We learned there secret and they may have a cow..haha
      I guess the butt master would count
      Depending on your daily master amount
      Good luck with the yeast
      To the cat and Pat that wouldn't be a feast

      LOL yeah an old sour grape
      Or some human ape
      Would not go over well
      I think it might even smell..lol

      hahaha your jokes are easier to get than some of your art work..LMAO
      But both give me quite the smirk
      haha the cat has nothing to hide
      Graphic or not he'll say it with pride

      LOL there is a idea too
      Maybe some royalty fees would come due..haha

      Delete
    4. How does one even go about eating yeast??? Maybe I'll just eat some break. Then again, I feel like that would only contribute to love handles and a severe muffin top. haha

      My art work is SO easy to get. I must've been an artist in a past life. Maybe that's what the rumpologist would tell me. hahaha

      You believe in palm reading?!?!?! One of my life lines is VERY short. The other one is ok. ?!?!

      Delete
    5. LOL asking the wrong person that
      As food doesn't apply to Pat..haha
      LOL I'll stray from the crack I was going to make on that one
      It just shouldn't be done...hahaha

      Right! So easy it is
      That you get this with your artwork biz
      ???? wtf ????? sometimes
      But then I'm not one to talk I'll stick to rhymes..haha
      For $600 bucks you can find out
      What your past artist self was all about

      Well I believe in aliens and past humans and all that crap
      So I guess it's possible for palm reading to work on some lass or chap
      But then alot of it is in ones head too
      But then they aren't that bad for you
      Since you are short they are short
      If you were tall they'd be bigger at your court
      So you just have to make them proportionate to your size
      Damn the cat is wise..hahaha

      Delete
  6. I wish I knew what you were referring to here man because very recently I seen a similar sounding video that disgusted me of this guy in the WalMart changing rooms shaking his money maker, this guy was for sure no faker or even a piss taker haha!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No it was not that walmart video that showed
      Just a bunch of cracks that flowed
      Walmart shoppers or something like that
      A money maker would blind the cat

      Delete
  7. my boss at work was like wtf, when i rofled to this
    "Your brain is in your ass,
    The part that passes gas.
    That must be hard to read,
    Especially if hair grows like a weed"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL hopefully your boss was okay
      With you rofled because of my bay

      Delete
  8. pffft, you didn't give any useful and highly refined advice to those whose bum is shaped like a potato :) We can't all be apples and pears :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe just take the apple and pear
      And mix their flair
      Then you get a potato bum
      And can beat to your own drum

      Delete
  9. Replies
    1. Got epic this time
      Surely not a crime

      Delete
  10. Replies
    1. hahahaha you don't want to take a pic of your bum
      Send it away so some psychic can hum
      With $600 bucks to have it read as well
      Your future it could tell..hahaha

      Delete
    2. No, is my my answer you may surmise
      they're only perverts in disguise.
      ha.

      Delete
    3. hahahaha but they have appeared on talk shows and such too
      Talking about their bum business view...lol
      They have to get credit for that right?
      Diagnosing a bum on sight...hahahaha

      Delete
    4. maybe credit from you
      but not from me!
      That is just crazy!
      lol...

      Delete
    5. hahaha my credit charges lots of interest though
      They might not like 110% interest being charged on their dough

      Delete
  11. The cat make all he wants with Pat,
    take care pat who knows.......this cat is dangerous(lol)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes the cat is scary
      His bum is also hairy

      Delete
    2. Never ever
      I'm too clever..haha

      Delete
  12. Rumpology, gosh! what is this fella?
    Bend over and know your fortune
    You have to trust the fortune teller
    He sniggers surveying your moon
    When business sure is booming
    He'll be talking lots of balmy
    It'll take a lots of undoing
    I would just stick to palmistry

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with you
      Palmistry is way easier and maybe more true
      The crack could really confuse
      Whoever brought this forth needs a new muse..haha

      Delete
  13. his best disciple took his place lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha I will have no butt in my face
      So he can keep his place..haha

      Delete
  14. Hahahaha!!! A fitting rhme for Dr Seuss's birthday. He would have loved this rhyming word play. I'm impressed with rumpology's accuracy! "Happy go lucky" and "down to earth without care"... yep, that's me! :P

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I'm sure it would not cause him dismay
      And he'd enjoy it for his birthday
      Accurate it can be
      Although I wouldn't pay $600 bucks for someone to yank down my pants and see..hahaha

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Shame on you
      Letting rhyme not come fully due..hahahaha

      Delete
  16. seriously, i def dont want that job, think of the slob who forgot to wipe or cant reach, his fortune to preach, it aint no spring peach, or a walk at the beach, i guarantee this fortune, my lunch will splatter at the first opportune

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL maybe that is why it cost so much money
      Because some are still ummm runny
      I would not want it either at my hall
      I think the same splatter will befall

      Delete
  17. lol laughed so hard... pat really at its best :)
    brain in your ass... my god :D

    enjoyed n laughed hard :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha always fun when one laughs hard
      Here at my yard
      I guess the rumps have such zest
      They just bring out my best

      Delete
  18. This is fantastic because it is so very true! I just can't stand Walmart - low prices aren't the only thing falling there....so are the IQ's (at least where I live)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha another scary walmart
      Where I would never push a cart
      Those IQ's can be a pain
      So many let them board a train

      Delete
  19. you are fricking hysterical, dude:)

    the most creative way to see ahead is to look behind
    no tarot cards needed becuz it's all about the posterior rind
    if the future is difficult to see
    the present is quite easy:
    young and smooth or
    aged and lewd
    i suppose it depends on the intestinal mood

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha glad it was run
      As I gave the rump a run
      I wouldn't want to be around when some moods hit
      You might get a face full of well shit..hahaha

      Delete
  20. I was scared where you were going with this lol

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I was scared at the start of it
      But knew it was a hit

      Delete
  21. I once had funding agreed to do a phd based on the cultural differences of arse wiggles...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well there are different wiggles
      And some jiggles
      With each cultural type I suppose
      But then who knows..haha

      Delete
  22. ha- I've heard of every part of your body being represented in your feet and to a lesser extent your palms, but the butt, wtf. Rumpology sounds like quite the groove, with rhyming behinds divining the future, steering one's course. I'm not sure about this rumpology thing, guess I'll remain a sceptic, at least for now, but one thing is for sure, I'm glad this didn't get it's on video up on you tube, I could only imagine what our eyes would view

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL go watch shoppers of walmart
      And the cracks will make your eyes come apart
      Of course there are full moons up on the rumpology site too
      There for you to view
      I think it is a crock
      But who knows there could be a true rumpology flock

      Delete
  23. Replies
    1. Won't be funny
      If the you know is runny..haha

      Delete
  24. This discussion of rumps
    has me square in the dumps.
    But, you know, I really don't mind
    It's not my front; it's my behind.
    (pun intended)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pun was intended
      But they rhyming you blended
      Lets all know your rump
      Does what it's supposed to, dump..haha

      Delete
  25. The visual of the whole thing makes me want to vomit. Excuse me...LOL!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL just mae sure to hit the can
      As vomit on the floor needs a ban

      Delete
  26. Hmmm. Me thinks this needed an R warning. :D

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha but it is truth
      And to give it an R rating would have scared many away from learning it at my booth..haha

      Delete
  27. And right back into things after the joke from yesterday, lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes the cat does not stop
      As the posts will continue to drop

      Delete
  28. My ass is all flat and hard, barely exists. What does that mean?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I'm not the rumpologist at my sea
      But if you want to pay $600 to have it done, I'll make up something with glee..haha

      Delete
  29. We don't have wallmart, but we do have Meadow hall, which is neither in a meadow or has a hall. Bottoms are everywhere in art, they were used to break the myth of the divine and the artistocracy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So bottoms broke the myth of the divine?
      They must have got charged quite the fine
      Well walmart does have a wall
      Or sometimes even two in its hall..haha

      Delete
  30. Honestly speaking, I don't even know what the hell "Rumpology" means but damn, those rhyming words are awesome to read.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha glad it was fun
      Even if you don't know, and trust me, you don't want to give Rumpology a run

      Delete