The cat was reading some dumb news story thing here and there and figured it couldn't be that rare. So I looked about and found some things I had to give a shout. I guess that is just the way life goes or some sort of karma surely brings about woes. So it seems today the dumb news facts will be bursting out in teams.
Two seals were rehabilitated to the cost of quite the sum. Then when they were released back into the wild, people cheered and drank rum. One minute later a killer whale ate them both. That surely stunted their growth.
It seems a terrorist didn't pay enough postage one day on some letter bomb he sent to some bay. So it came back return to sender. He forget what it was, opened it and I guess you can say he went through a blender.
Seems some guy committing a crime would be better off as a mime. For his getaway vehicle sealed the deal. It had his name and phone number in foot high letters on the side. I'm sure that made the coppers smile wide.
Also I hear when people see a glass wall, no matter how tall, they climb it to see what is on the other side of it. Hmmm isn't that redundant by at least a little bit?
Seems a french farmer shot himself in the foot one day because a ghost appeared at his bay. Maybe the ghost was short? Or just wasn't the type to consort.
It seems a man liked to throw bricks. Through jewelry store windows and not at hicks. He did so one night to take his criminal mastery to a new height. But the window was made of plexiglas and it bounced back knocking him out cold onto his ass. There he would stay until the cops came and took him away.
A lawyer was rather cunning. For as his mouth began running, he stated how his client could not be held responsible for stealing and kept at his appealing. As his arm was the only thing that reached through the door and stole so his body shouldn't pay the tole. The judge agreed and sentenced his arm to one year in prison for the deed. His body could tag along if it wanted, the judge taunted. The lawyer and the defendant both gave a grin, as the defendant placed his artificial limb on the table and walked out, considering it a win.
Two bandits went to rob a store. One shouted the usual bit of lore. "Nobody move!" he said. This just proves he was messed up in the head. For his partner moved and he shot him. Oh how robbers are so dim.
There were burglars once more this time trying to rob a safe at their shore. But I think they were a tad confused which can be seen from what they used. They tried to cut through the thing with a laser tag gun. Is it any wonder why they never won?
Another robber went up to a cashier one day and demanded all the money from their bay. He got the money and he ran away. But the mastermind left his wallet on the counter for display.
There are so many of these that is just gives the cat fleas. Damn! Some people are really dumb. Their brains must really be in their bum. Anyway, that is the news I found out and just had to give it a shout. Yes, sadly it is all true too. I never made it up for you. Maybe they are so dumb because they eat too much grass? Either way it was quite funny to my little rhyming ass.
Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.