Saturday, March 17, 2012

A Day After Pat? We Can't Have That!

You silly humans need to give the cat a saint's day all his own. Especially if you threw Pat a bone. What? You did not know it was named after Pat? Shhh don't tell him that. As he got sent back in time by that Merlin guy, no lie! And he did something so great that his very own day became his fate. But the cat wipped his mind and now he doesn't know he has a saintly behind. He's no saint anyway so we'll just forget such a display. After all he likes mutts too. What kind of saint would have such a view?
So now that the cat is done his rant and we realize Pat is just another ant, it's time the cat warned all of you. For on this day lots of liquor seems to come due. Here is what could happen if you have one too many at your sea. Don't say you were not warned by me.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

As you go to celebrate
Dressed all in green.
You could seal your fate,
Waking up to someone whose fifteen.
No matter how much you wail,
Or try to flee the scene.
Your ass is going to jail,
Where you'll become a queen.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

Or you could just awake,
To an ugly head.
Looking at you like a steak,
Wanting to be fed.
You make a dash for the street,
Forgetting this bad porn.
But once on the concrete,
You find you're naked as the day you were born.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

You wake up on a bench,
To the rising on the sun.
Finding an awful stench.
Blaming the nearest someone.
But as you stumble,
Finding it hard not to sit,
You give a grumble,
Remembering how you rolled in dog shit.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

You wake up to the day,
Finding all the same.
Back at your bay,
You thought last night was lame.
Until you find the mirror,
Finding you shaved your head,
And as you draw nearer,
See it was replaced by a tattoo of Fred.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!

So before you take a swig,
Remember my tale,
For defiling a pig,
Will still land you in jail.
And if that's not enough,
Picture a running river,
And yourself in the buff,
As out explodes your liver.

Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!
Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-diiii-deeeee-diiii-deeeee-diiiiiii!

So many scary sights when the liquor turns back on the lights. Add a hangover to that and I'm so glad I'm a cat. None of that crap is done by me and I can just sit making fun of all the humans at my sea. So dress in green and do a jig. Even tip your hat or wig. For I have warned each lad and lass and that is all I can do with my little rhyming ass.

Enjoy your winter, smash a printer.

98 comments:

  1. Happy Saint Patrick's day Pat, Saint Patrick's Hatrick's day, awesome rhymes as usual mate, love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL well that was original I'll say
      Glad you liked the rhymes on display

      Delete
  2. Nice rhymes, and Happy Saint Patrick's day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow all kinds of words from R today
      He may go into overlad and cause dismay..haha

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    2. he probably drunk some Irish beer today, Pats :)

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    3. hahaha must have and it made him yappy
      Drink some more and he may become as bad as Flappy

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    4. He's is quite talkative today isn't he. He's got the Irish gift of gab he does.

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    5. I guess so
      As something came over him today at my show

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  3. The morning after and so also the day
    Cat's wondering when it'll have its way
    The head's spinning,had had one too many
    Pat has his St.Patrick and he's happy
    Cat has 9 lives all the more it should
    May be next year Cat,lucky '13 touch wood

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat will take the nine lives over the day
      Because then I can just keep coming back to play
      So the cat will get his way
      And will never join the saint fray
      True 13 is next year
      Should be an intersting cheer

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  4. Heya Saint Pat! Don't say I didn't pay my homage!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha that I will never say
      As you have proof now at my bay

      Delete
  5. oh man i had to rub my head at the thought of the ache that would come from that, and not just hungover but waking up and rolling over, to a bearded leprechaun whose gold a promised, must still be mined at the end of the rainbow...oh wait thats just a jail flash back...happy st pats cat, and be good to pat on his day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL a bearded leprechaun would be quite scary
      As they can be way too hairy
      But grab them and gets your three wishes
      Or threaten to feed them to the fishs
      A jail flashback
      Hmmm glad you got out and are no longer in the jailhouse rock shack..haha

      Delete
  6. In celebration for this day, I'm going to eat some Lucky Charms and kill a leprechaun. Have a great Green Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Get your wishes first
      Before making such a burst
      Then kill the leprechaun all you want
      Although he may come back to haunt

      Delete
  7. Replies
    1. haha was this absurd?
      Want to flip me the bird..haha

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  8. This is your day, Pat!
    Go celebrate with cat
    Cook that corn beef and cabbage
    to eat, but not like a savage
    have a pint of Guinness beer
    just one, so nothing to fear
    don't celebrate so hardy
    you don't remember the party.

    Here's to YOU
    and cat TOO!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly all of that
      Is not eaten or drank by Pat
      So I think we are safe from a memory loss
      And forgetting to umm floss
      Pat remembers all anyway
      Even when quite drunk at his bay..haha

      Delete
  9. smiles..i def. have to look up what st. patrick's day is about...have heard about it..but no background..ha...those germans...so...when are you going to sing this for us..?

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    1. Geez you Germans are out of the loop on this one
      That just isn't any fun
      But then again North America has lost the meaning altogether
      And just use it as another excuse to get drunk in any kid of weather
      So you could be better off
      Then drinking from a trough

      Delete
  10. becoming a queen in jail... is it a bad or a good thing? Can't establish :PPP

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    1. Guess it depends on your persepective and the jail
      For it be good if all bowed and gave you hail

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    2. pfft, that happens every time I walk out of my house :P

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    3. or is me mixing hailing with people crossing themselves? Not sure....

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    4. LMAO hmmm go with the hailing
      And not crossing themselves or wailing
      At least you'll feel better that way
      No matter their display..haha

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    5. With your sense of style Dez, you'd make prison orange look fabulous!!

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    6. as milady Gaga says WALK WALK FASHION BABY :)

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    7. Sure I'll just nod and agree
      With thee

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  11. Happy st.Patrick's day. Dress in green and chase the rainbow leading to pot o gold. I love his day

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If only I could get that pot of gold
      Then on that idea I would be sold

      Delete
  12. hehehe.. Happy Saint Patrick's Hatrick's day :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha now everyone is using that phrase
      Waffles had to go and start a craze..haha

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  13. Happy St. Patrick's Day Pat ~ Yes, be careful of that drink ~

    (Just chilling at home; supposed to be a warm weekend)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah just chilling at home too
      Still no warmth here has come due
      Stupid cold
      Still has hold

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  14. "St. Patrick Hatrick." Oh, yeah. Too funny. Happy SPH Day from an actual (partial) Irishman!

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    Replies
    1. LOL yeah waffles day was such a poor attempt at a rhyme
      But I'll pretend it's not a crime..hahaha
      Now that you've wished it to me
      The Irish mafia will hopefully leave me be

      Delete
  15. Happy St. Patricks day!!!!

    Yes, people do silly things when they drink. Although, I've never heard of anyone defiling a pig?! Poor little piggies!! And who rolls in dog poo?? I had no idea you were this crazy, wild party person that hung with that type of crowd! hahahahaha

    P.S. Is this song that you sing in the shower with the loofa microphone? Just trying to clear that up from the last time...

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    1. Happy saint me day to you
      haha that is so fun to say and view

      Yeah very silly things indeed
      That's why I try to help them take heed
      I heard of it before somewhere along the way
      That someone did that to a pig on display
      Never did any of that
      But oh the things done by Pat
      I hung out with that crowd for a while
      Let's just say I'm very very glad I'm through going down the party mile hahaha

      hahaha nope you'll never guess the song
      It's not even known by the zebra thong hahaha

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    2. Some really did that to a pig?! Omg, that's awful!!! That pig should be granted the best pig's life that one could give. And that person would be made into bacon!! Sigh...

      So what did Pat do? Share with the class! We all want to hear the juice.

      Ohhhh, so Pat does admit that he sings a song!!! I knew I'd get it out of you. LOL!!!!!

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    3. I read somewhere along the way
      That such a thing took place at some bay
      Not sure if it was true or not
      But you they should really rot

      Pat did one too many a thing
      And will never let such a thing ring
      Those days are long gone
      Although it was nothing bad that got my thrown into the clink like a con..haha

      Pffft I never said I sung in there
      Just said you can't guess it because there isn't one at my lair..hahaha

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  16. I love the song Pat:) (lol) have a nice day!

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    Replies
    1. Glad you like
      As I took the song hike

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    2. Happy Saint Patrick day dear!

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    3. Happy saint me day to me
      That just causes such glee

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  17. People are drinking today, but none can drink like the Irish nor have near the fun as my people have while doing it. Now put on that zebra and do a Riverdance!!

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    Replies
    1. LOL I'm going to shoot Dez for that one..hahaha
      God that would just be scary by a ton
      Nope none can drink like you guys
      No matter how much they try and sound wise

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    2. excuse moi, but the Serbians bathe in booze and can equal you Irish in drinking for sure :) Serbia is the only country in which every house makes its own booze :) We have more brandy stills than bathroom boilers :)))
      /shakinghisbumsintherhythmofcelticmusicwhileweavinghisriverdance/

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    3. Serbia knows how to use their booze

      and Irishman has everything to lose.

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    4. Well I have no idea what goes on over there
      I'm tucked away in my lair
      You guys can all got get drunk
      While I'll remain in my rhyming funk..haha

      I guess it's a war between the two
      To see which can make the best booze come due

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    5. The Serbs and the Irish have been kicked around by so many other countries, we know how to have fun with very little. Family and social life is where it's at. We have stills as well, we brew poteen. It'll kick you in the butt!!

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    6. I love that you used Present Perfect in THE SERBS AND THE IRISH HAVE BEEN KICKED AROUND BY SO MANY OTHER COUNTRIES and not Past Simple. The truth hides in your words.
      PS, speaking of fun, have you two (or three, Adam included) checked out Serbian representative at this year's Eurosong, you have the video in my left sidebar MUSIC GEMS section :) It will give you a taste of Serbian elven music, and it might give Pats some melody to work on his riverdance :)

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    7. That riverdance will never come due
      It is sad but true
      As you live to far away
      From my bay
      So no worries about that
      For Pat or the cat
      And fun with a little isn't so bad
      At least a fun time is had

      Delete
  18. Awesomeness. Happy St. Patrick's day

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    Replies
    1. Happy saint me day is grand
      Here at my land

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  19. Replies
    1. Happy saint day to me
      Once more giving me glee

      Delete
  20. LOL, I'm going to the firemans ball tonight with all my county friends. Gotta do my civic duty and support the local emergency services, right?

    Stay out of trouble yourself today Pat.

    .......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pat and trouble no longer go hand and hand
      So he will be safe at his land
      Enjoy your night out
      As the firemen shout

      Delete
  21. Nice drinking song! Now what are you going to do for Saint Catty's Day? Something about Fancy Feast and dead mice?

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    Replies
    1. Throw some fleas in there too
      And that is just what might come due

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  22. The way I read this it could have almost been a country song lol!

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    Replies
    1. LOL I suppose it could be that too
      If read such a way when giving it a view

      Delete
  23. haha, Old Drunkenness, remember it well. Back in college old st. pat's day was mighty swell. Here in Buffalo it's a big thing. at 8 am the bars door's swing, offering nickel drafts that go up a nickel every half an hour, then back down again by a nickel at noon, and this keeps up until the day's no more. I don't recall knowing anyone to make it through a full day. In fact I was a big drinker back then, but found the 8 am thing too much too comprehend, besides the draft they used for that was enough to give you some serious….well, anyhow, I liked the expensive beers, lucky for me but not my pocket book, but those drunken days I remember well, quite fondly, a bit embarrassed from your retell, pretty accurate on many flights, not mine for sure, but many I've known, have seen such similar things. But alcohol as fun as it was, It's been quite a while now and while I don't miss it one bit, some of that craziness sometimes I think fondly back upon. just a little bit. Fun and appropriate piece for such a day, glad to hear the drunkenness of this day is not but an American and Irish thing--well now that I think of it, it probably started in Canada, any excuse to drink Labatts- which, when I would drink the cheaper beers, there were no comparison to the taste provided by Canadian Beers. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beer was never my thing
      I gave the hard stuff a ring
      Always went to the rum
      With my then not so much rhyming bum
      I also look back fond of such memories at my sea
      But glad they are way way way past gone at bush number three
      No more of that crap going in my system I will say
      For I'm well past that at my bay

      Delete
  24. I'm getting St. Patrick's Day fatigue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well maybe that won't leave yoiu in a funk
      As you'll be too tired to get drunk..haha

      Delete
  25. Ha,i think it is too late for warnings from the ryhming cat about over indulgence, especially here in England. They are all drunk by now, i can hear the booming sound of the clubs from my flat. Where once was the sound of church bells. I read this story of this guy who while drunk spent two thousand pounds on a caravan on Ebay. Later when his extreme panic faded and attempts to back out of the deal failed, he went to visit the thing. It was being reclaimed by nature on some farmers field. He had to spend months getting it shipworthy, i think he made a tiny profit from it. But how hammered he must have been.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL ebay and drinking should not mix
      Then your wallet will be doing tricks
      As the money floats out of it
      Bet he learned his lesson taking that hit

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  26. Replies
    1. Happy me day once more
      Here at my shore

      Delete
  27. Happy St. Pat's Day!
    Don't let it go to your head
    And make you stray
    Be good Pat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I will never stray
      And join that fray
      For that is all done
      I just rhyme for fun

      Delete
  28. I hope you had a great St. Patrick's Day, Pat and my dearest cat - St. Pat rocks because he loves dogs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't go telling him that
      That just doesn't do for the cat
      Cat love dogs too
      Pat can't let such a thing come due...haha

      Delete
  29. I'm totally staying away from the alcohol tonight. Dumping wine down the drain now. lol

    Happy St. Pat's Day!

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    Replies
    1. LOL see the cat is saving your liver too
      Isn't that such a nice thing for him to do

      Delete
  30. Happy St. Patrick's Day! New follower here. I'm trying to get a head start on visiting my fellow "A to Z"ers. I'm really enjoying your blog and sense of humor/voice. I look forward to visiting again.

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    Replies
    1. Head start on A to Z
      While almost all those posts are done by me
      Glad you enjoy my sea
      And will come to visit thee

      Delete
  31. Someone needs to turn "Ohhhh, aye-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di-dee-di!" into a ringtone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha oh that would be great
      I'll see if I can find that and stick it on my phone letting it play over and over to such hate..haha

      Delete
  32. Oh. My. Gosh.
    Sorry..but I'm swooning over the new photo.
    Am I allowed to say that?
    Don't tell The Mister.
    And that 5 o'clock shadow? Be still my heart.
    haha..oh wait...forgot to rhyme!
    forgot to read the post!
    oh dear....got very distracted there.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL geez I made you not rhyme
      That is a crime
      I'll have to take it down
      So you can once more rhyme at my town
      And so the cat doesn't get mad
      At this lad..haha

      Delete
    2. oh, it's still there, you big tease
      and yes I took another peek.
      lol.

      Ok..I am back to rhyming and read the post
      I have to say I agree with the host
      drunk as a skunk does not appeal to me
      although a single drink occasionally is nice to see

      Hope you had a nice St. Paddy's day
      at least you didn't work with crummy porta-lays
      and farmers that smelled like their swine and hay.
      hahaha.

      Delete
    3. LOL peeking at Pat
      Might get a jealous cat..haha

      Yep drunk as a skunk
      Getting into a funk
      Is long past for me
      Not even one occasionally

      Any day without a portapottie is good
      Ban those things they should..haha

      Delete
  33. Replies
    1. Well it is still me day here
      So it still works for a cheer

      Delete
  34. You ARE hilarious. I read this to a friend and we both had a ball. You have such great wit!

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    Replies
    1. hahaha reading to a friend as well
      Probably think I'm nutty as hell..haha

      Delete
    2. lol
      happy st pat's day pat
      I wouldn't mind a holiday for your cat

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    3. haha holiday for the cat
      Is something I'd never hear the end of at my mat..haha

      Delete
  35. happy St. Patrick day Pat :D
    cat is way more intelligent than anyone else.. !!
    Enjoy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The cat agrees with you
      Everything you say is true..haha

      Delete
  36. I really like the random sounds in this one...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha random is where it's at
      Whenever you come to see the cat

      Delete
  37. Happy belated St. Pats, Pat. Perhaps now that I have a working computer I won't miss any other holidays...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As long as nothing spills down inside
      Then you should be good and always out and about in globland far and wide

      Delete