Friday, March 23, 2012

Island of The Gawker Part Four Has Washed Ashore!

NEWS FLASH!!! All can now make a dash and get The Swashbuckle Chuckle in print form, at CreateSpace or Amazon. So if you don't have the tech, what the heck. Now back to the norm!

I was the first to wake and had to do a double take, as that bug eyed tarsier was curled up next to me. But I decided to let him be. Those glowy eyed freaks were enough to make him look cute. Heck, I was even glad to have that Drazin brute. At least he gave one more target to let me get away and of course he attracts them with the third person crap that he always has to say. Pat was propped up against the wall with Miss Priss curled up on his lap in a ball while Blabber was staring me down. I think being alone this long she did kinda board a bus to crazy town. But I still was not sure as she gave me a smile and seemed to have changed the crazy dial.

Drazin finally stopped his godly snoring and got up ready to continue exploring. He wanted to get out of here as bad as us. So there was no slipper fuss. The tarsier awoke from the commotion and in one quick motion leaped on Blabber's shoulder. I guess beauty really is in the eye of the beholder. And with his eyes you may have to put him in a disguise.

"Drazin thinks it is time we give this Gawker his walking papers. Drazin is going to push him and his big eyeball of the cliff."

"Keep yapping, godly one. As long as you do that he'll jump just to end your name ringing in his ear."

"Drazin will..."

"Fleabag this, fleabag that, Drazin, Drazin, Drazin. You need to get some new material."

"Drazin knows you are the expert on that with all the voices in your head."

The three continued to banter for a while making their yaps run a mile. Drazin finally gave up as Pat and Miss Priss did not seem to miss. They really let him have it and I loved every bit. Blabber saw we were trying to leave her base and moved to the bottom of the slide tunnel standing in place. A ladder dropped down from the ceiling and Drazin took off ready to hear The Gawker squealing as he threw him from the peak, him and each and every glowy eyed freak.

Miss Priss and I each picked a shoulder of Pat and jumped on. He began to climb us out into the day's dawn, as we noticed Blabber was not coming with us. We heard Drazin cuss as we went back down telling us to forget the Blabbermouth runt from crazy town. She spoke as plain as could be, no longer acting crazy. I guess she just did not like Drazin being around and I can relate, as even I preferred a hound. I guess one battle with The Gawker was enough and with no shampoo she had it rather rough. She was not going to tempt fate once again, as she had her palm read at her old den and it was not good. Blabber wished us luck and said she would help in any other way she could. So off we went climbing out of her lair's vent. Of course as we did that damn dust still haunted me and I went one about some stupid flea.

A flea on a knee,
A knee with a flea.
Tried to eat for free,
Instead sent her across the sea.

Glad it wasn't me,
Or a magic tree.
But it beats a bee,
And there will be glee.

As we squash the flea,
Break The Gawkers knee.
Get back to our sea,
Without a flea on any knee.

As soon as we crawled out Drazin gave his usual shout and Blabber closed the door, probably figuring he would draw unwanted attention with his roar. We could see the side of the mountain in view and made our way there with no sign of The Gawker's freaky crew. Drazin tried to climb the wall first and fell giving his usual burst. Not even our claws would stick to the side. That's when we saw Pat smile wide.

"Great! The voices are back in that nuts head. Just what Drazin needs."

"Just what you need indeed my dear fellow."

Pat ranted on about some science junk once more in some voice in his head funk. He grabbed some coconuts and some other stuff and Drazin continued to huff and puff. He set a fuse on his bomb looking thing and chucked it into some hole letting his arms fling. He picked up Miss Priss and I while motioning for that Drazin guy. We all thought he was nuts like a mutt that sniffed one too many butts, but as we stood over this hole we easily reached our goal.

A geyser of water blasted up into the air, once again wetting my hair. But it reached us up to Gawker Peak and we jumped off ready to end that Gawker freak. There he was waiting with his army behind him, there were so many things were looking grim. Just as Blabber had shown me with the dust in her lair The Gawker parted his mohawk hair. Out popped a huge eyeball glaring at us and I could see why it would cause any ones OCD a fuss. Think a tarsiers eyes times eight and that would be your fate.

"The choice is yours. Join my crew and help me rule. I gawk all and know what is to come. Join me and you too will have the power of the others."

"Drazin would rather make you eat that eyeball."

"For once, I'm with the godly one."

"Get ready to draw pilgrim."

"The wild west, really Pat?"

"Drazin told you he was useless. What's he think that finger is going to do?"

Pat pointed his finger at The Gawker like a gun as everyone continued to make fun. But a blast of light flew from it and caused The Gawker a fit. It hit one of the glowy eyed freaks in its head and poof! The glowy eyed freak was dead.

"Noooo! This is just awful. You can't defeat the Waffle."

"Drazin takes that back. Point away."

"Get them! If they don't want to join. Let's teach them what it feels like to fly."

The Gawker retracted his huge eye, as we could tell he really wanted us to die. Pat tried once more to shoot the light but nothing came out as we got ready to fight.

"So you just had to piss them off more huh Pat?"

"Drazin could have done that."

"Seems my gun is jammed, where is the deputy when you need him."

We were easily surrounded by each freak as they stood cheek to cheek. There was no room for even us cats to break through and then the three prima dona freaks moved out in front of the crew. They were all nice and smug and yes I will admit, I hid behind that Drazin lug.

"Putting your fists up to fight Penguin Man. You really need a brain scan."

"In my collection it does state that a Dictionary Collector will decide your fate."

"When Grammer Nazi it through you'll feel like a car just ran over you."

"Fleabag, have you been giving them rhyming lessons or something?"

"That's an unfortunate side effect of the transfer process. My Gawking power causes some sort of poetic response from them. Kind of catchy though isn't it? Goodbye!"

The Gawker waved to his crew and away they flew. They were all above our head shrouding us in darkness like we were dead. We were too busy watching them to notice the other three until they cackled with glee. They each raised their arm and suddenly I wished I stayed on Petsy's farm. For they did some magic crap like on the beach and somehow attached themselves to us like a leech. They controlled our every limb and Drazin could not even say something dim. The Gawker came right up to me and bent down on one knee.

"You could have been one of the best. But sadly you will not be around when I gawk the world into submission. If only you knew what you almost achieved."

The Gawker walked back to his oddly shaped throne and I expected our bodies would be crushed, each and every bone. For they simply chucked us off the side of the peak avenging their fallen glowy eyed freak. We regained use of our limbs but it was too late for it seemed a smudge on the ground was our fate.

********************

And so our lives seemed at an end. This seems to be an every growing trend. Maybe I should find a new bush with a tush or give Pat another push and we'll hide in Blabber's lair or go back to the farm with Petsy and all that animal hair. I just hope we don't die that would make me cry. I hope it's magic grass and will let me land all cushy on my little rhyming ass.

Experience spring, have a fling.

88 comments:

  1. Wish I had some free funds right now... :(

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Never fear
      Down the road I'm sure plenty will come near

      Delete
  2. Amazing rhymes Pat, love the new Spring ending too, it's awesome. Here's hoping I have plenty of flings this Spring lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL good luck with that
      Just wrap it could as you don't want any diseases or to slip one past the goalie at your mat

      Delete
  3. I do like the new spring ending too. If I tire of 'spring flings' I will just fling a printer. LOL.

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    Replies
    1. LOL that is the way to be
      Keep on smashing that printer by biffing it against a tree

      Delete
  4. For some reason I am scratching a lot.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Did you get fleas too
      Well maybe they want you to start a flea zoo

      Delete
  5. you def can not defeat the waffle, even with a wiffle or much less a pancake...its got all those little nooks for syrup, oh i am off on a tangent, congrats on your book and giving spring sprung a look, kinda like the gawker guy you know....smiles.

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    1. Well the Gawker guy through me off a cliff along with the cat
      Wanting us to go splat
      So you'll have to excuse me if I don't like him very much right now
      Hopefully we are saved by Petsy's cow..haha
      Off on a tangent indeed
      But fun to do at my feed

      Delete
  6. a fling, huh. :) lol.

    So let me get this straight, dear Pat.
    They only let you have one bullet with your finger attack?
    We'll have to call you Barney Fife.
    All talk and no strife. ha.

    And Brian is worse than Silver.
    throwing people off a cliff just makes me quiver.
    Worse than getting run over
    wouldn't even do that to Rover.

    I can't wait to hear how Jax feels about
    you giving her a dirty house shout.
    Dusty vents in her house you say?
    Spring cleaning needs to come her way!

    I guess the lesson of the story is true
    Life at Petsy's Place is better for you.
    So everyone's welcome to show up for dinner
    I guarantee you it will be a winner.
    We'll even let Jax shower before we eat
    and I'll have 2 shampoos there for her. What a treat.

    lol.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. LOL spring and fling rhyme so well
      Married people should forget it though and not ring the bell
      Way too much trouble
      Might get buried in rubble

      hahaha there is a reason for that
      Which will come due later at my mat
      Much how Blabber was able to use her hair
      To keep from getting gawked when she entered the Gawker's lair
      As you know there is always a method to my madness every time
      As nothing is random not even in rhyme

      Well at least Brian gives them time to think about life
      Silver just causes them strife
      And runs them down right away
      While Brian gives them a few extra seconds to have their say..haha

      LOL well the dusty vents are rather high
      And she is kind of a small fry
      So she just couldn't reach high enough
      Or that ladder climbing is scary and causes her to huff..haha

      hahahaha sure she'll like that
      Should have stayed at your mat
      Then we wouldn't have ending up falling to our doom
      But I'm sure something will occur that prevents such gloom

      Delete
    2. I'll move into Petsy's if I can rock two shampoos! I feel my hairline thinning already... :'( Besides, I believe you owe me some cinnamon raisin french toast. Yum!

      I'm not acknowledging the dirty vents. Nope, I refuse!!

      Small fry ?!?!?! Can you work a step stool, some qtips, and bleach into your story? That's all I need for squeaky clean vents. Sigh...

      (ok, I know I just acknowledged them. I couldn't help it.)

      Delete
    3. LOL Petsy knows the way to your heart
      Just sit out a shampoo cart
      And off Blabber will run
      Using a ton..haha

      hahaha I could work it in
      But then people would leave my bin
      They aren't as OCD as us
      And might find the cleaning quite the boring fuss..haha
      Maybe a step stool though
      Like you'd ever let that go..haha

      Delete
    4. yep...how can you refuse
      with cinnamon french toast and 2 shampoos?
      :)

      I just vacuum my vents with an attachment
      they've never seen q-tips and bleach...that's amazing.
      ha. (writing that down on my spring cleaning check list!)

      Delete
    5. Oh God, now by bay has become a place to exchange cleaning secrets too
      But it won't turn me blue
      As I can use them too
      To make it an even cleaner view

      Delete
    6. Ohh, reallyyy??? Fill up a little bleach in a cup, dip the end in it, and then scrub those little vent slots. Don't forget the vents on your microwave!!! Those need some loving too. hahaha

      and I like connfectionary sugar on my french toast please!!! Thank you :)

      Delete
    7. The microwave too?
      That is one I never do
      Hmmm will have to see
      If that is true and they are dirty..haha

      Aren't you pushing your luck today
      With the toast you want from Petsy's bay..haha

      Delete
    8. nothing say loving like bleach on a Q-Tip? lol.

      a dusting of powdered sugar...got it. :)

      Delete
    9. LOL I checked and there was dust there
      No longer at my lair..haha

      Delete
  7. Ooh..on each others blogs at the same time
    It's been a while since we committed that crime!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah been a time or two
      But I guess it was time for it to once more come due

      Delete
  8. **off topic a bit but is it okay to feel popular through knowing you via the blogging world? I feel excitement for you whenever I see that your books are published and now it's on Amazon and I feel like I know a famous author. Congratulations, Pat.

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    Replies
    1. haha yeah that kind of off topic is grand
      As is most anything else in my land
      If only I had such fame
      Actually I'd rather that remain tame
      And just take the money and run
      That would be more fun..hahaha
      But thanks a lot
      Hopefully I can get that ame a bit before I go in the ground and umm rot..haha

      Delete
  9. strange how me was never arrested by the Grammar Nazi :)
    And why is you selling your books only on Amazon, what about Nile and Orinoco? Scared from croconiles?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They would sin in the Nile
      And wash away for at least a mile
      Those fish can read very well at all
      So i avoided such things at my hall
      Grammar Nazi might not like the me
      But oh well most anything goes at my sea

      Delete
    2. yep, me is aware of the me thing, that's why me does it :)
      'tis true that the fish can't read, we should do something about it, educate the ocean.

      Delete
    3. Yeah me away you do the me
      As me knows it causes thee glee
      All those suckers to is swim fifty miles to get laid
      Then get eaten or died off so that idea should fade
      For they'd be dead before they got to D
      And all would be for nothing trying to teach them past B

      Delete
    4. me likes the way Dezzy do says me. me thinks it's cute!!

      Delete
    5. Me thinks me head will explode
      If me keeps coming to me in such a me load

      Delete
    6. "you do the me"
      oh. Pats, that sounds so very naughty :)))

      Annezilla, melikes that you thinks me is cute :)

      Delete
    7. LOL yes it does when the mind goes to the gutter
      One mustn't let their head fill with such clutter..haha

      Delete
    8. too late, you already planted the picture into my head :) /putsavillainousgrinonhisface/

      Delete
    9. haha it I'm sure it will haunt forever more
      As you use it at my shore..haha

      Delete
  10. How's the paper/ink quality on the printed Amazon version?

    I'd rather wait for the e-version if it comes out looking like it's written in Persian

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Perfect on the print version I got at my sea
      Looks just like one you'd pick up anywhere else when searching for something kiddie.

      Delete
  11. Great post, I love your rhymes!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Getting some love from R today
      That is a new one at my bay

      Delete
    2. positive novelty, I say, positive novelty

      Delete
    3. Prob only a once a week thing though
      Tomorrow very nice will show

      Delete
  12. Spring is here and Winter is gone
    Have a fling and cut out the frown
    Have book will travel
    A knock on the gavel
    Your choice CreateSpace or the Amazon

    Hank

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sounds like a plan to me
      Here at bush number three

      Delete
  13. OMG, you're really making Blabber out to be the French loon!! lol She just sits and stares???? Poor girl has been hit hard with that Shampoo withdrawal!

    and LOL @ her and the tarsier leaving you all to fend for yourselves!! But who knew that the cowboy voices of the old frontier lurking in Pat's head would grant him magic finger powers. One blast and goodbye waffles! This is getting juicy...can't wait to see where it ends :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. LOL maybe next she'll give a french meow
      Or a french moo like Petsy's cow..haha
      Poor poor Blabber needing shampoo
      Making her go crazy and not following the crew

      Damn tarsier not helping out
      After the cat didn't eat him what's that all about?..haha
      Yep waffles bit the dust
      Then the magic finger power went bust
      I guess we will see why
      Maybe by part eight of the tale with all including that stupid Drazin guy
      So might be a while before it ends at my sea
      As the cat is having to much fun with it so far thanks to the flee on the knee..haha

      Delete
    2. Ohh the French MeooOOooWww hahaha. You can't moo in French. Psh, It's impossible!

      The cat can't eat the tarsier. Poor guy is way too cute!! After chasing the little sugar plum, why should the tarsier go and save your butt. I think not. Bring the shampoo, some coconut oil, and a hair straightener and we MIGHT have a deal. LOL!!!

      Delete
    3. LOL but the question is did you actually try to?
      I put that in there just to see if it would come due

      The cat would just chase him around
      And bat him around the ground
      Well science Pat did make a bomb out of a coconut and some other stuff to make the geyser go off
      So maybe he can come up with some stuff like that even if it could make him scoff
      God know what would be in it
      Especially if Petsy had some sheep or a whale at her zoo pit..hahaha

      Delete
    4. ...I did...hahaha I'll bow my head in shame. LOL

      Delete
    5. I'm going to set my aquarium back up this summer.
      A whale in it? What could be funner?
      I know you can get those 3" mini sharks
      and 3" whale would really bring remarks
      especially if it blew little fountains sprays
      now that would be adorable at my bay!

      If I have an elephant I might as well have some sheep
      "What's a few more animals?", I always cheep! lol!

      Delete
    6. Sadly I knew you would too
      Hmm what other noises could I get you to do..hahaha

      The cats will surely love to watch that
      And more animals at your mat
      You really need to charge a fee
      For all to come and see
      Be interesting to have each one of those
      Then you can say there she blows...haha

      hahaha Petsy likes to cheep
      I'll be sure and make here give that a peep

      Delete
    7. had to use cheep for the rhyme
      it's really Mr. Bird that says that all the time. lol.
      never fear,
      I still say 'oh dear'
      hahaha.

      Delete
    8. haha you mean you don't cheep back
      Going on the cheeping attack?..lol

      Delete
    9. Have a little something on my sidebar for you
      for tomorrow, actually but I'll be gone at an auction with portaloos
      And gee. while I'm typing this I see you are there
      leaving a comment at my lair. ha.
      but it's already the 24th at your bush
      so I guess it's not really early for your tush.
      ha.

      Delete
    10. Nope it was really late
      But I'll come over to see my side bar fate.haha

      Delete
  14. Please be nice with me today Pat I feel sometimes I cant run with you in all these tales that I love of course,

    I try to understand
    but is difficult to run
    the cat always has a new tale
    and Im so tired to know all in his brain (lol)

    :)

    ReplyDelete
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    1. LOL yes I know it is a lot to take in
      As the cat and crew try to win
      So never fear
      The cat will cut you some slack just this once here..haha

      Delete
    2. don't worry Gloria. It's hard for us to understand
      and we don't have the excuse you do at your land.
      Pat just loves to play with our minds
      and reading this stuff can make you go blind!
      lol.

      Delete
    3. hahaha but reading it backwards can make your vision come back
      See I'm always so considerate at my shack

      Delete
    4. Oh, is that the trick we must do?
      Withholding that info is mean of you!

      Delete
    5. Well I just thought you knew
      Hmmm I guess maybe I should tell all who view

      Delete
    6. Maybe some day
      I would understand that I cannot today lol

      The cat is nice sometimes
      but always save some surprises lol

      Delete
    7. And at last
      remember Pat when you said I was naive?
      I think you have reason maybe:(

      Delete
    8. Pat has no reason or rhyme
      He just has a fun time
      But if you want to think so
      That is fine too at my show..haha

      Delete
    9. Most times
      Except for those mimes

      Delete
  15. Replies
    1. Sounds good to me
      Do I get paid a fee?

      Delete
  16. It's so nice the way you include us all in your posts Pat and I'm glad I'm part of this crew. Have a great weekend everyone!!

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    Replies
    1. haha yeah it is fun to do
      And easy for those that converse alot at my zoo
      As I have more ammo to use it the post
      And don't worry Irish Air will be back to the gawker coast

      Delete
  17. Gawd save us from Blabbermouth runts from crazy town. Typical of a finger gun to jam at the wrong time! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Those Blabbermouth runts are crazy
      Yeah stinking fingers can jam and make you go oopsy daisy

      Delete
  18. How hard do you have to be punching to crush a knee along with a flea?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. An Andre The Giant type punch
      Would be my hunch

      Delete
  19. Pat, you don't stand a chance with your crew. I'd sleep with one eye open, if I were you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Then only half my brain would get rest
      And I may not be able to pass the rhyming test..haha

      Delete
  20. Replies
    1. Nice with mice said twice what a slice

      Delete
  21. Literally a cliffhanger this time, sort of, some grass can bring that puff, puff, pass, pass, or so I've been told, but the nerve of that gawker dude, chucking the crew was just rude, will have to stay tuned, to see what becomes of the group, if a post never comes from the cat again, I guess we'll sadly know the end, although I have a feeling this shall turn out well. Fingers crossed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL yes if the cat never shows up once more
      Here at his shore
      Sadly you know we are nothing but a smudge in the grass
      Maybe I'll bounce off my little rhyming ass..haha

      Delete
  22. You know, I was just writing a little poetry of my own today, and I needed words that rhymed with "me." You've helped me out, dude. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hahaha I guess with the flea on the knee
      I can surely make me quite the busy bee

      Delete
  23. Leeches? Did there have to be leeches? Eeewww!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. haha yeah I will take fleas anyday
      Over such nasty things at my bay

      Delete
  24. That was cool. Loved it. Not sure I understood it all, but it was fun to read. You have some awesome adventures at your sea :)

    .......dhole

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Adventures seem to be had
      By the cat and that Pat lad

      Delete
  25. Boy this was a long post. Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes long indeed
      Sometimes I get long winded at my feed

      Delete
  26. ## Pat has no reason or rhyme
    He just has a fun time...

    Only reason I come back and again
    though sometimes I barely understand
    but its fun to read your rhymes :)
    Enjoy Springs
    Its summer time here in India :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Felt like summer here to for a while
      It was so vile
      But glad it is such fun
      For that is the main reason the rhyme is given a run

      Delete